4 Ways to Develop Cognitive Skills For Kids in an Entertaining Way

What Decentering Whiteness for Families Looks Like

Looking Beyond the Individual

As a life coach for teens and parents, I think often about what it means to heal and what it means to truly feel whole. See, we are whole and perfect as we are, but we don’t always feel, know, and believe this.

These words are “hot topics” and messages from the personal development field. And while I believe this work to be important, I don’t see personal development leaders talking enough about how complex this work really is. I don’t see coaches and “healers” talking enough about life beyond the individual. Healing can only go so deep if it’s focused only on me.

True healing, collective healing, involves looking to my family, my community, my society, my world. Furthermore, this means familiarizing myself with systems of power and oppression that are actively causing harm in these spaces. In this article, we will consider the social construct of race, which benefits white folks and oppresses people of color (POC).

I’m speaking in this article as a white woman in the United States. The perspective and ideas I share here come from reflecting on my own experience of race and racism, conversations with friends and colleagues from diverse backgrounds, and research about racism. It is my intention that this article serves as an invitation to parents, caregivers, and supporters, especially those who identify as white or “white-passing,” to reflect on your own relationship to race and how it impacts and influences the way you show up for the children and teens in your life.

 

Decentering Whiteness

Here in the United States, whiteness is perceived as neutral; whiteness is seen as the default. If you are a white person reading this, I encourage you to pause. Notice how your body is reacting to these words so far. Notice if any thoughts, emotions, or words have come to mind. Keep breathing. There’s space for your entire experience here.

Next, thinking critically, notice and name the ways your whiteness is centered as the “norm” in the spaces you spend time– neighborhood, school, work, etc. Becoming aware of this widespread truth, is the first step to DEcentering whiteness.

My whiteness is not actually neutral. Your whiteness if not neutral. Whiteness at large is not neutral.  Whiteness means privilege that our friends and colleges of color do not wake up to. For example, I’m not asked where I’m from or what my background is; my college education is assumed; I see myself heavily represented in the spaces I frequent (yoga studios, grocery stores, and women in business meetings); I turn on the TV or scroll instagram and see myself all over the place. This is white-centeredness, white privilege, and this is also white supremacy.

These two words, white supremacy, they might scare you right now. And they should. Because they mean power, oppression, harm, hurt, and abuse. White supremacy most simply put says that white means superior. Each of the items I listed above is evidence that in 2018 in the United States, whiteness is still positioned as superior. Yes, white supremacy includes violent acts, hate crimes, and groups like the KKK, but it starts with and is perpetuated by words and actions that CENTER whiteness.

These two words, white supremacy, should also be words that you become familiar with. It’s (past) our time to be aware of, name, and move away from the ways we are complicit with white-centeredness. We have to own the fact that seemingly simple words and thoughts we have contribute to white supremacy. These is the implicit bias we have inherited, the myth we are been sold.

The Real Personal Development Work

THIS work of uncovering the ways we have absorbed and fed white supremacy over time is the real personal development work. This work is required before we can reach the “love and light” and “we are one” ideas that we want to believe in. We will not get free or heal or feel whole if we do not do the work of decentering whiteness in our own minds. Until we name the ways white supremacy shows up in our everyday lives and look it in the eyes, we will be stunted in our growth, our healing, and our personal development.

I’m sure that these words so far have sparked curiosity and a sense of self-awareness. You may be wondering how to channel this energy. Today, I’m sharing 4 practical and meaningful steps you and your family can take to decentering whiteness.

Practical AND Meaningful Steps to Decentering Whiteness

  1. Notice and name actions and thoughts that contribute to white supremacy. Become comfortable being uncomfortable with your own default thoughts and beliefs. Meet yourself with compassion as you learn to challenge yourself to consider where these came from. Over time, with observation and self-kindness, you will create new beliefs.
  2. With a generous and curious heart, explore, support, and learn from other cultures. Maybe you start with books and literature that you share these with your children and teens. Maybe you and your family attend local events that center on people of the Global Majority and their traditions. Maybe you explore listening to music from around the world or learning a new language as a family. As you begin this practice, be mindful of your intentions. Be careful not to exotify or sensationalize folks who are different than you; here, the lens of curiosity is of utmost importance.
  3. Consume a wide range of content. Notice who you and your children see represented in the shows and movies you watch, the social media accounts you follow, the books you read, etc. Introduce new perspectives, voices, cultures, and backgrounds regularly. We have so much to learn from other another! Additionally, and more importantly, reflect and consider differences with appreciation and curiosity.
  4. Engage in dialogue with other white people. It is not the work of people of color to educate us about race and how damaging this oppressive system has been for generations upon generations. This is our work, and it’s tough work. Find friends and family members who are ready to engage in this conversation; people who are ready to look at themselves deeply, truthfully, and with love. Community is important as we do this deep internal work because we have to talk it out, cry it out, and get messy in order to do better. I’m currently facilitating a Decentering Whiteness group that meets via Facebook and locally in the Austin, Texas area to explore this topic; join us if this aligns with your journey!

Courtney Headshot in Green DressAs you dig into this work, stuff is going to come up. There will be resistance, tears, apologies, connections, realizations, insights, anger, sadness, remorse, growth… There’s space for all of these feelings because without tapping into these, without discomfort, the cycle of centering whiteness will not come to an end. Along this journey, you may find a need or desire to connect with and feel supported by others. I invite you to explore this guide to building your support system because this work is deep, and you are not alone.

As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney helps young people get out of worry, isolation, and anxiety and into connection.Download your free support system map here!

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

Competitive momming is a problem, a big problem. It feels as though we’ve lost our villages, especially when everyone on social media seems to be playing the one-upsmanship game.The thing is, competitive parenting isn’t new, it’s just that we see it a lot more.

Feeling as though life is a competition can lead to some pretty bad problems with depression, especially for new moms.  Here are some ways to deal with it when it comes up – whether in person or online.

Ask yourself if the person is actually trying to compete.

Sometimes, what we take as competition really isn’t. A mom may be socially awkward and may be trying to relate to you. Others may be trying to share something that they’re excited about, but it’s not translating that way on social media, or the delivery is off.

Sometimes, too, when we feel someone’s trying to compete, it’s really more about ourselves. We might feel that we’re lacking in some way or another and misread the intent as snarky. It’s important to try to see through what’s being said to what’s being intended.

Ask yourself why the person might be trying to compete

Might the individual in question be experiencing feelings of self-consciousness or guilt him or herself? This can cause people to be more competitive than they ordinarily would be. For example, a mom who is feeling guilty about having her child in day care because her family is trying to shame her for working or who is self-conscious because she’s a stay-at-home mom and getting flack about not working may come off as more snarky than she intends to if she’s put on the defensive.

If you feel that the person may be acting in a competitive way from a place of vulnerability, validate his or her claim, then complement the person on something that she’s doing well.

Don’t feed the troll

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a parent is one-upping others or maybe you. Joey did great on his spelling test, so Debbie feels the need to comment that her Chandler got skipped a grade ahead, and Alison states that her Gina is homeschooled and working at an 8th grade level at age 7.

Don’t give into the impulse to pile on. Yes, maybe Alex just got another belt level in karate, but does it need to be said? Instead, go back to the original focus, Joey, and tell his mom to congratulate him on the good work he’s done.

The pile of stuff competition

I see this every holiday season, and it’s something that personally makes me nuts. A parent either posts about not giving kids a bunch of toys, or sticking to 4 gifts, or posts a photo of an overstuffed Easter basket or overflowing Christmas tree. People pile onto the original poster and attempt to shame the person into doing things their way.

No matter how bad you might want to, don’t add to it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extreme giver or a four gifter or you do no gifts at all but experiences and others do differently. What does matter is that what your tradition is makes you and your family happy.

Watch your own urge to compete

It’s natural to want to show off your child, but remember, your child’s achievements belong to him or her, not you. It’s one thing to share those achievements, it’s another to brag about them.

Before you comment on someone else’s post or announcement with a competitive bend, ask yourself if you’re really adding something to the conversation. It may be better to instead congratulate the person and save your own announcement for another time.

What have you done to reduce competition?

What actions have you used to reduce competition when you’ve seen it? Have you found something that works well to de-escalate the situation? Share in the comments.

When did Parenting Become a Competitive Sport? Parenting Competition needs to be avoided

  Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parRonda Bowen Raising World Children – Where Cultures Meet Parentingenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.

Unstructured Play :  Let Kids Unwind Organically

Unstructured Play : Let Kids Unwind Organically

School until 3:00pm.  Soccer at 3:30 pm.  Dance at 6:30 pm.  Quick dinner and homework until 9:30 pm.  Bedtime. Repeat.  Over and over again.  Check with almost any parent today, and they can recite a litany of their child’s structured activities, all designed to enrich the childhood experience.  And it does.  But there’s something else to consider.  Time to play.  Not just any play.

Unstructured-use-your-imagination-play.

Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday.

Raising World Children Hard Work

Come with me for a moment, and take a look at something I don’t see as much as I once did.  Kids playing outside.  Not in the community soccer club.  Not at a t-ball game.  Not at a swim meet.  Just playing outside, on the sidewalk, with other neighborhood children.

Small communities where everyone knows everyone have an advantage here.  It’s highly likely if your child is doing something amazing, one of the neighborhood parents will be there to cheer her on.  It’s also likely if your child is about to try something dangerous, that same parent is probably there to add a word of caution.

Unstructured play has a name now, but it used to be an everyday occurrence.  

[bctt tweet=”Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday. Allow them to unwind organically.” username=”contactrwc”]

Letting Go is Hard But Important

Raise your hand if you remember your mom telling you to “just go out and play.”  It wasn’t something anyone planned, or managed.  It just was.  And it still can be.

As parents, our job is to provide a safe, welcoming space.

The hard part is stepping back and allowing the kids to entertain themselves, to be bored sometimes, to use their imaginations to create something we never would consider.

Although my son had plenty of traditional toys when he was younger, his toy of choice was an old boat rope.  Long enough to throw up over a tree branch, he could hold both ends and swing over imaginary dangers.  Arranged on the driveway, he could create a course for his bike.  With two friends, they could limbo underneath it.  They could tie it to a bucket and pull snacks up to the tree house.

The possibilities were endless.

Raising World Children Park

The local town park is a happening place.  At first glance, there appear to be two brightly colored plastic and metal swinging, climbing, hiding structures.  Not so, if you’re of a certain age.  One is a castle, defending against a pirate ship.  All hands are on deck.  A princess calls from the castle ramparts, requesting help to save her home.

Perspective is an essential part of unstructured play.

Buckets of sidewalk chalk sit by many of the front doors in a small town.  At one house, the neighbors have used chalk to craft a “welcome home” mural.  There’s a hopscotch board drawn in the street.  All the basketball hoops face out, next to driveways, inviting any and all to play.

Ears perk up when someone yells, “Car!”  Everyone scatters to the curb and waves the car through, greeting the driver and smiling before the play resumes.

Unstructured play, by its definition, doesn’t have a to-do list.  It’s a time to unplug, allow the mind to wander and think, “what if…” and then try it.  If you can provide an environment and stop yourself from providing suggestions, you’ll be on the right track.  If you can make it through the sighs and grumblings of “there’s nothing to do,” you’re golden.

And then, the magic begins.  Go out and see for yourself.  Send your kids out to play.

Unstructured Play - Let Kids Unwind Organically www.raisingworldchildren.com #kids #play #cultures #studies #school #holidays

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write

 

Summer Anti-Boredom Toolkits for the Whole Family

Summer Anti-Boredom Toolkits for the Whole Family

Summer, and any other unstructured time of the year, can lead to boredom. Children and teens have to make pretty big energetic and logistical transitions each time the shift from school schedules to summer vacation and vice-versa. A bored kid is a kid whose brain is challenging them to get curious and explore something new.

The Transition to Summer

Often times, the transition into summer feels exciting; it may be a relief! Then, after several days or a few weeks, this less-structured time can begin to wear on children and teens. (And parents!) This lack of structure can create room for less desirable behaviors (think screens), and with plans and intentions, it can be a time of fun and joy. 

In sessions this summer, I have guided teenage clients in developing Anit-Boredom Toolkits. These are simply lists of options, or a menu, that children and teens can use to get out of boredom and into engagement and curiosity. This is a living document that can be added to or edited at any time. A few clients have taken this one step further and even prepared a duffel bag, tackle box, or storage tub full of items from their list! 

Below you will find a list that offers your child or teen ideas to consider as they create a unique and extensive toolkit. All they need to begin is a notebook and something to write with!

Considerations for your custom anti-boredom toolkit:

  1. Start with what you know you love. Include your favorite activities and hobbies on the list. Include the things you love to return to over and over again. Your passions and hobbies deserve to be on this list.
  2. Explore your 5 senses. Try to list at least one activity or option that will activate each of your senses! Challenge yourself to think outside of the box! 
  3. Try something new. If there’s a skill or hobby you’ve been thinking about for some time, encourage yourself to take the leap. Consider taking a camp or class for guidance, or check our YouTube, blogs, or books for how-tos. 
  4. Gather inspiration. Use magazines, documentaries, web searches, Pinterest, etc to inspire you. You might enjoy creating a summer vision board, or a collage to capture your inspirations and hopes.
  5. Balance alone time with connections with others. Ensure that some of your list items give you time to be with yourself. Likewise, include options that bring you into connection with friends, family, or your community.
  6. Consider your career interests. What ideas do you have for your career? Perhaps there volunteer or internship options related to your interest. Alternately, you might like to delve into research about this career path through documentaries, books, etc.
  7. Take advantage of nature. Include options that are centered around nature, whether it be a park, a neighborhood, or a hike in the woods.
  8. Do some research. It can be helpful to look at local calendars or stop by the local library or coffee shop to look at bulletin boards. There are tons of ideas out there waiting for you to find them. Stay open to the possibilities and notice what sparks your interest along the way. 
  9. Ask your friends and family for ideas. Chat with friends and family and ask them about their favorite activities and passions. As they share, notice if anything catches your attention. Bonus:  if you find a common interest, you have built-in connection time with a friend or family member!
  10. Incorporate self-care. It’s important to include activities that are calming and relaxing for you. These are small ways that you can offer yourself comfort and care. This can be time for reading, taking baths, or journaling, for example.
  11. Review your list with your parents. Share your brainstorming with your parents! They’ll be excited to hear your ideas and interests. If some activities require family support– for transportation, financially, for safety, etc.– begin a conversation with them about how you might be able to meet these goals.

A Tool for the Whole Family

While the list portion of this article is meant to be a tool for your child or teen, I invite you notice the ideas that have come to your mind. Is it time for you to build a boredom toolkit too?! Creating, maintaining, and using this type of catalog is likely to increase your intentionality surrounding self-care. Instead of defaulting to screens or the couch, you have a whole list of energizing and soothing ideas that you can consider.

If you and your child or teen are looking for support as you build Summer Boredom Toolkits, let’s chat! I work with clients to co-create systems that bring their family into deeper connection, and I would be honored to support you on the journey!

  As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

Find her on —

http://courtneyharriscoaching.com/

https://www.instagram.com/courtneyharriscoaching/

https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/

Anti Boredom Summer Toolkit for the Whole Family

Growing Up A Vegetarian In A Meat Eating Family

Growing Up A Vegetarian In A Meat Eating Family

As a young child, I ate what the rest of my family ate which included meat. I didn’t love meat, but I ate as my family ate; until one day when I was told what meat really was and from that point on, I began growing vegetarian in a meat-eating family.

Some kids go through a shock phase when they realize meat is animal muscle, and most just shrug it off and go on eating it. Other kids may be slow to revisit eating meat once they know, and then there are kids like me who struggled to push meat into their mouths after finding out how it got to the table.

Why I Became Vegetarian

I can tell you the exact moment I fully realized what meat was and where it came from. I was in fifth grade and we had friends over to the house. We were having ground beef tacos and I casually asked what meat was to no one in particular.

My mom’s friend looked at me incredulously. “Why it’s animal muscle,” she said with a nod of her head.

My mother looked up from her mixing bowl on the counter and sharply said, “Don’t tell her that!” She gave her friend the look.

I shrugged because I didn’t know what else to do. They thought I was fine with it.

But, I wasn’t fine.

As a child, from that point on, eating meat was a giant struggle for me. My feeling was that if I ate the animal’s muscle, I was stealing from it. I didn’t want to steal its life, I loved animals too much to do that.

The other contributing factor to my emerging vegetarianism was my issues with the texture of meat, especially pork and even ground beef.

I attempted, very poorly, to eat meat for the next three years, but became a full vegetarian in eighth grade. It was a slow progression for me and pork was the first to go, beef next, then chicken, then turkey, and lastly, I gave up fish.

What is it like to grow up vegetarian ? Read Julie's Story about Growing Up In A Meat Eatiging House hold | Vegetarian | Meat Eating

My Journey Growing Vegetarian in a Meat Eating Family

It was not easy being a child vegetarian in a meat-eating family. My dad would ask me at every dinner meal for many years if I wanted the meat. He couldn’t accept my vegetarianism.

He continued to pass the meat platter to me, but I always declined it!

My mother on the other hand reluctantly accepted my meatless diet, but as a mom and a nurse, she struggled with fears that I would not get enough protein.

My mother would frequently voice her concerns about what to make for me. I had committed her to the mom life sentence of a short-order cook with my dietary change, so I bought her a skinny paperback vegetarian cookbook. I was so proud of my plan because I knew it would relieve some stress for her by giving her some ideas of what to make for me.

Dairy products were my savior as a child. I felt they were okay to eat because they weren’t a part of the animal, but a by-product. I was ok with that so I became a full-fledged lacto-ovo vegetarian by consuming dairy products.

My dad was always bothered by my second glass of milk at dinner and I always heard my mom shush him as I headed to the fridge to fill up my cup mid-meal. She knew I needed protein and she didn’t want me to be malnourished, so she encouraged my milk drinking.

It was hard for me as a child to eat something different than everyone else around me. I grew up in the Midwest where our town was surrounded by farms. Not eating meat was a huge culture deviation, and I was the unlucky deviant having to explain myself to everyone around me. It was unheard of to not take the meat as most people viewed it as the only important part of the meal and the rest was fluff.

The fluff was exactly what I wanted of the meal; I wanted the vegetables, the bread, the nuts, the fruit, the eggs, and the cheese. I didn’t like the texture of tofu so that was not an option for me, plus I didn’t love beans. They weren’t the right texture for me either.

Growing Vegetarian - Raising World Chlidren

Eating Out

Going out to eat was a challenge and going to parties was difficult too because meat consumption was integral to the community. We all talk about what we will eat and when we will eat it. Food is mega important to all cultures and unfortunately, I was the outcast in my childhood food culture, and a voluntary one at that.

Everyone seemed obsessed with what I would eat all the time. It was a constant topic of conversation that seemed unnecessary to me and I didn’t like the limelight. No one ever made a big deal about someone not eating the lettuce or potato salad, but my not eating the burger at grilling parties, well, that needed to be talked about, commented on, and sometimes even ridiculed.

As a child, I never judged the meat-eaters, so I constantly wondered why they judged me.

Being treated that way taught me not to judge others and to respect that everyone has the right to make their own choices. I developed a deep respect for freedom of choice which also taught me tolerance.

My mother never forced me to eat meat, which I was always thankful for, so I’ve come to parent my own children the same way. I let them choose and offer healthy alternatives if they don’t want a part of the meal.

As an adult, I’m still the one who is different because most people in my region do eat meat. However, I’ve learned so many ways to compensate, modify, and survive that it has become normal to me to be different.

Mine is not a deviant way of life; it is my norm. 

Are you are vegetarian? What are your struggles? 

About my cookbook:

I married a man who eats meat and my children eat meat, so I began making recipes I call hybrid recipes where there is a meatless and a meat-containing portion to the meal to feed us all from one recipe. It’s easy, it’s just a matter of being mindful while cooking.

I began to realize there are more families like mine out in the world who are composed of members with different diets. This brought me to create my cookbook to help families like mine who are composed of vegetarians and meat-eaters. I also wrote the book to help parents of children who either are vegetarian or who are considering vegetarianism. I sincerely hope my book helps families have more enjoyable and smoother meals together.

 

 

Julie Hoag is a writer and blogger. She is a wife and mother with a history working as an RN prior to being a SAHM. She is honored to be published on the Huffington Post, Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, The Mighty, Perfection Pending, Manifest Station, Sammiches & Psych Meds, and more in addition to her own blog juliehoagwriter, where she writes about family/motherhood/kids, recipes, family travel, DIY, and pets.

 

School Shootings : Stop The Negligence Already!

School Shootings : Stop The Negligence Already!

Yet another school shooting, scrolling through the news lying next to my peacefully sleeping baby I read this horrific news! 

A chill ran down my spine and I felt the pain that I had never felt before for the parents who lost their precious children. I could feel holding my baby close to myself as if trying to secure him from an evil that may jump out of this news piece.

Growing up I was taught that school is my second home. Like my home I not only learn new things at school but also can feel completely safe. Reading through this news and all the other news about school shootings or stabbing be it US, or India or Pakistan or any other country for that matter has made me realize, what I was taught, what I always believed in is not true anymore.

A school might have been safe for me but it is not a safe haven for my child anymore.

Right before I started writing this article I was listening to the interview of a mother who lost her 14 year old daughter in the Parkland Florida school shootout. She was crying and pleading to the president to make the guns rule stricter in US and making schools more secure for children.

She said she spent last 2 hours preparing for the funeral of her beloved daughter. Daughter who she gave birth to, daughter she nurtured for 14 years, daughter she loved to pieces, daughter who will never come back again.

Get To The Root of The School Shootings

Since 2010 there have been 146 different incidents of gun use within school premises alone in US, some of them were open fires and included not only students but teachers too. Out of these 146, 8 incidents have been notified only in 2018 and we are sitting in February the entire year is left to be seen.

Everyone seems to ask the same question why doesn’t government of the strongest country on this planet passes a simple law so that guns do not reach just anybody and everybody. And everyone also knows the answer to the same question that is NRA’s spending power in every election campaign is enormous. Every government throughout the world is overpowered by some or the lobby which is understandable as money matters but is it more important than lives of our little children.

Every time I think of the shootings inside a school campus the first thing that comes to mind is what if it was someone I knew what if it was someone of my own, and that makes me wonder have our politicians become so ruthless that they have lost the power of questioning, what if?

Keeping this thought aside I also tend to wonder that America being the strongest economy of the world doesn’t spend enough money to secure the school campuses, why? If the gun lobby is strong enough and it’s not easy to pass a law against it than that same gun lobby that spends millions towards helping a person winning an election or voting against a bill can be forced to secure the school and college campuses.

But than I thought to myself would that solve the issue, the answer was obvious ‘NO’. The constitution exists to empower the government to give a better life to a country’s citizens not a better life to a select few. All because a select few have spent money to help you win the election does not give you or them a right to play with the lives of those who believed in you and voted for you expecting better life for themselves. The basis of The constitution is right to life, how can monetary benefit take that away.

What makes this tragedy exponentially sad is that it is born of negligence and ignorance.

No one is asking the government to shut down gun manufacturers. 

The only demand everyone has, every concerned parent has to please make sales of guns more responsible, make  and make school campuses safer by putting up adequate measures. For strict background and mental health checks. 

Not only our children deserve the best education but also safe education. Please stop sacrificing our innocent children for a few bucks.

We talk about our kids being empowered but first and foremost it is our job as a collective society of adults to protect them. We cannot control the world, but we can take measures to make sure our children are safe. This choice is being taken away from parents as guns are made easy to get. And automatic guns at that!

Children are our future, they are precious. I pray for all the families who lost their children and hope this time at least few from the political class would have a change of heart and wonder ‘what if that was my child in that school…?’

What is causing school shootings? Taking part in the school shootings debate. Asking for strict background checks for guns.

 Vinni Mishra Raising World Children Vinni Mishra is a corporate professional presently residing in Glen Allen, Virginia. She originally belongs to Jaipur, Rajasthan (India). She completed her masters degree in geography from Rajasthan University. She started her career as a corporate professional pretty early around the age of 18 with GE Capital and was until very recently working with Suntrust Mortgage in Glen Allen. She is an expectant mother and is enjoying her time off from work awaiting the new member to her family. She has a passion for writing and her writing is influenced by the rich culture of Rajasthan which is famous for its traditions and heritage that have been passed along generations.
What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

There was no question we were going to do it.

My husband had to teach his kids native tongue. It’s a part of him and he needed to pass it on. I dreamed of hearing my kids say English words in cute ways like pweaze. So, we’ve been teaching our kids two languages from day one.

And it’s working.

My six-year-old son can be a miniature translator now and my two-year-old uses both languages in one sentence. Amazing. Adorable.

But sometimes it can be challenging.

Around Friends

I finally had some mom time with a friend over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was wonderful. We ate lots of homemade food, drank, played board games and watched our toddlers play with each other. It was everything I hoped for.

But I realized something interesting while I watched the toddlers play and talk. My friend’s son would speak, and I was amazed at the words he used. He sounded so adult.

The child is intelligent and not just because I’m a biased Godmother.  His mother spends so much quality time with him, reading every night. She is a wonderful teacher.

But it made me question whether my daughter’s speech was delayed. But I realized I am simply not used to hearing a child talk who only speaks one language

Which made me wonder how other people view my children’s’ speech.

Interactions

People don’t always understand my daughter and it was the same with my son. I adore and am used to the way her sentences mix Ukrainian and English together, but it is difficult for my English-speaking family. It must sound like gibberish.

Talking to a two-year-old is hard enough with only one language’s worth of vocabulary.

And then there are the people my kids’ meet for the first time who simply think my daughter must be delayed in speech, just like I did for a moment. People now say my son speaks so well as if he didn’t before. What they don’t think about is that maybe the just didn’t use to understand him.

And all this can give parents mixed feelings.

What it feels like raising bilingual kids | how to Raise bilingual kids | tips to raising kids with two languages - bilingual | parenting | family goals

Feelings

I know we’re not supposed to care what people think, but it’s different when it comes to our kids. We know they are the most fantastic creatures the world has seen, and we want others to know it too.

And when they’re bilingual sometimes their brilliance doesn’t immediately shine.

Then with family, you may feel upset when you see your child cannot effectively communicate with grandma or their uncle. You see both party’s frustration and it can result in you giving up on teaching one of the languages.

But don’t stop. It gets easier.

My six-year-old son now speaks with a slight American accent to his father and me in Ukrainian or English. At separate sentences. He’s fluent.  Finally.

And watching my husband’s eyes light up brings tears to my eyes. That alone was worth it.

So, don’t stop. Keep teaching your child two languages.

Tips to Successful Bilingual Children

  1.    Stick to Your Language

If your child is having a difficult time learning one language over the other, pretend you only understand the language you want them to learn. Be stubborn. My mother-in-law only speaks Ukrainian. While she was here my son had no choice but to speak Ukrainian to her. So, he did. You can mimic the same.

  1.    Warn Others

If it bothers you when strangers don’t understand your child, let the person know right away that your child is speaking two languages at once. They may be amazed.

For family, you can be around to translate for your child. Let Grandma or Uncle know that the word your child just said was in the other language. With your child try to teach your family member some words. Make it fun.

  1.    Read

Read books in both languages. If you are not bilingual, take turns reading. Story structure helps embed the words into your child mind. It improves their vocabulary and it is fun for the child and you.

  1.    Benefits

If you’re unsure if what you are doing is right for your family, learn the benefits. (Read here https://bilingualkidsrock.com/why-raise-bilingual/  ) A few things a child will gain is better grammar in their first language, better at music, a greater understanding of culture, and will have an easier time learning other languages.

  1.    Don’t Give Up

There may be a point when your child decides to ignore a language and only speak one. It happened for a while with my son. It hurts, especially the parent whose language is being ignored. But it does get better over time. It’s just a bump in the road that you need to learn to go around and much like marriage you must stay with it, for better or worse.

It can be challenging raising a bilingual child. Your feelings can go all over the place, but in the end, it is worth it for you and your child. Your child will benefit from your efforts for the rest of their lives.

And what feels better than that?

Jewel Eliese is a fiction writer, developmental editor, co-creator of the Medium publication Writer Mom and founder of writeawaymommy.com. Jewel runs on lukewarm coffee and baby kisses. She believes every mom can write well. Get the free checklist to find time to write with kids around here writeawaymommy.com/checklist/
How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

Perhaps, like myself, you’ve gotten curious about how Thanksgiving came to be. We all know the stories we learned in elementary school, about the Pilgrims celebrating the first Thanksgiving with the American Indians.

Presently, we celebrate by serving turkey (and crafting turkeys! Remember all the different ways our teachers came up with constructing turkeys for us to create through the years?), we dine on stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, and I can’t forget the unusual family favorite, cranberry sauce.

What WAS Thanksgiving Like ? 

But my curiosity ran deeper than that. When WAS the first Thanksgiving? What was it REALLY like? Did the Pilgrims dress like the images we depicted in our drawings? With the women in matronly dresses wearing the bonnets on their heads? And the men with formal three piece blue or gray suits and wearing tall hats?

I was out to find the TRUTH. What really happened all those years ago? So I Googled “The history of American Thanksgiving,” which of course, brought back thousands of hits.

I sought out, what I felt, were reputable sources, the History Channel and MayflowerHistory.com and with pen and paper in hand, began feverishly writing down what I found. According to them, the first Thanksgiving occurred in 1621 with the Wampanoag Indian Tribe.

It was a celebration of an abundant autumn harvest where the Wampanoag had given lessons to the Pilgrims on how to enhance their crops growth. Some of the crops, according to written account by William Bradford, the governor at that time, were wheat, barley, peas Indian corn and another variety called flint corn. But contrary to our present meals including mashed potatoes and gravy, potatoes had yet to be introduced to the colonies.

The meal was also rich in fruits and berries, from mother nature’s own harvest. As far as the plentiful types of meats which were served, of which turkey was one of them, there were also multiple types of fish, mussels, lobster and a variety of water fowl. Another type of meat which was served was venison, or the meat from the deer.

It’s interesting to me how of all of the large variety of foods served in 1621, our traditional Thanksgiving meals are typically comprised of turkey dinners.

Thanksgiving Becomes A Tradition 

Also, as it turns out, this first Thanksgiving didn’t go by that name, and it also wasn’t an annual event. It wasn’t until almost 200 years later, in the mid 1800’s, that it became celebrated annually in a just few of the state’s and colonies. And it didn’t have a preset annual date, like we have now.

It came after particularly great fall harvests. Some of our presidents, such as George Washington, John Adams and James Madison called for having a day of Thanksgiving, but once again, the celebrations were sporadic.

But it was a woman named Sarah Josepha Hale, the author of the classic poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” who relentlessly devoted 36 years of her life writing letters to various large newspapers in the 1800’s and letters of request to every president elected and reigning in that time, pleading for a day of thanks to be annually celebrated in honor of that first meal in Plymouth, Massachusetts in 1621.

It was President Abraham Lincoln who finally took her words to heart and in 1863 made Thanksgiving a national holiday. His hopes, at the time, were to bring together all of America’s citizens during the dreadful times of the Civil War. It wasn’t until much later that the last Thursday in November was the date to be devoted to the holiday.

The Story of Squanto – The Real Giving

As I delved in farther to the history of Thanksgiving, I found a website created by the Manataka American Indian Council giving their own account of that first Thanksgiving almost 400 years ago and their depiction is dramatically different in many ways. They write about the Pilgrims bringing the small pox virus to their land, in which a good many of the Indians couldn’t survive. The Pilgrims, believing they were coming to a new free land, where they would be able to stake their claims to land where ever they pleased, actually brought on wars which slaughtered many more of the American Indian tribes… And much of those who did survive were allowed to live only to become slaves to the Pilgrims.

But there was one Indian in particular named Squanto, who came to learn the English language, taught many of the Pilgrims what he knew about hunting, fishing, and growing an abundant harvest. And it was Squanto who initiated and and brought together the new people of their land and the Wampanoag Indians with a treaty. It was following the first full year of honoring this treaty that the Wampanoag and the Pilgrims celebrated by giving thanks.

The account given by the Wampanoag does continue to tell the stories of boatloads of new settlers coming to the new country creating havoc by taking over the Indian’s land and enslaving many. As you can see, this side tells a vastly different story than that of people like William Bradford’s account and I’m curious to know who’s account is more accurate? Perhaps it was somewhere in between?

Thanksgiving Today

At any rate, these days, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving by honoring the people and occasions in their lives they’re grateful for. The majority of families celebrate by bringing extended families together and sharing the traditional turkey dinner. Everyone eats way too much food causing them to loosen their belt buckles or simply undo the snap of their slacks (as for me, I learned a long time ago to wear pants with an elastic waistband to our Thanksgiving meal).

Many of us even perform the ritual of going around the table and enjoying listening to each person recite some of the things their thankful for. Another traditional event which happens every Thanksgiving is that the television is almost always turned on as everyone’s eyes are glued to their sets watching a full day of football.

Americans also celebrate this day every year with parades. Cities and towns big and small, across the country bring communities together with a parade full of floats, in which volunteers work extremely long hours to create something new and innovative. They’re built on trailers of various sizes and pulled by cars, trucks, motorcycles, tractors…

Some are even built right atop these vehicles. High school marching bands march along in formation, rock, jazz and other musicians play, sometimes marching along, sometimes having their instruments and microphones set up upon flatbed trailers. You can find clowns often tossing candies to the children, Future Farmers of America groups, and veteran groups marching with pride, I’ve even seen bagpipes and fife bands. You might find people walking on stilts, riding on unicycles, and who knows what else!

You never know what fun and interesting groups each community has to offer. But I can promise you a great experience. If you’re not from America, and are contemplating a visit, during the Thanksgiving holidays is an awesome time to do it. Please, come and experience how the city or town and family your visiting, celebrates this American historical holiday.

Each will offer you a local parade they’ve made uniquely their own, a delicious and filling meal, and after dinner, you get to kick back in a recliner, let your very full stomach settle from all the food you just ate, and watch how maniacal we Americans can get as we watch our favorite teams vie together in the football game on television. And just when you think the meal is over and there’s absolutely no way you possibly eat another bite… a plate of pumpkin pie appears in your hands, and surprisingly you eat a little more.

If you’re from America, I’d love to hear about how your family celebrates Thanksgiving, and those from abroad, I’d also love to hear from you too. Does your country or culture have a holiday inspired by giving thanks for what you have? What time of year is it celebrated and how?

I’m so incredibly curious to learn about how different families, different countries and different cultures come together and celebrate. Please feel free to write about it to me in the comment section below.

The Real Story of How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition in America | Raising World Children | Stories for Kids

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
5 Awesome Travel Hacks When Traveling With Your Teens

The Power of A Family Circle

Have you ever called an “emergency family meeting?” Did you gather in a circle around the kitchen table? Or huddle together on the couch? What prompted that meeting? Chances are it was a less than desirable circumstance or conflict. Perhaps it was a broken curfew, academic struggles, or a disrespectful outburst. Family challenges often prompt us to gather up, get talking, and fix problems.

What if your children associated “family meetings” or circles with honest, connected, nurturing communication, though? Not just problems!

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, I teach restorative circles to families with school-aged children. This powerful, co-created system for family-community-building and conflict management provides families with powerful, timeless, and healing tools.

Because family systems are constantly changing as the humans grow and evolve, this go-to system protects and supports family conversation, creates a strong foundation of trust, and encourages authentic connection. Using this method, you and you family will build positive associations with sitting in circles and talking about a wide range of family-based topics. Rather than expecting a lecture or a consequence during the “meeting,” your children and teens will experience “circles” as the rich soil from which the family cultivates love and understanding.

Restorative circles invite both parents and children of all ages to co-create the family environment and relationships together. It’s up to you, as the parent, to lead your family, yes, but this doesn’t mean you do it alone or without support. As you share the power of building your life together with your children, pressure and weight can be lifted. You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Likewise, as your children become more empowered, they engage in and create family dynamics with greater intention and investment. It’s a win-win, both in the short and long term.

The fundamental unifying hypothesis of restorative practices is disarmingly simple: that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”

Peacemaking circles and restorative practices have roots in Native and indigenous cultures. This idea of gathering face to face is not new. However, being open to the wisdom of our ancestors and of the process of circling takes intention. We have different distractions, interruptions, and challenges in our lives; thus, it takes attention and purposeful action to create a strong foundation of community within the family unit.

Restorative circles offer families a framework for having open communication and bonding opportunities. If you commit, as a family, to having a weekly Family Building Circles, coming to circle in moments of conflict or difference will feel much more comfortable. Here, I offer you the core elements of Family Building Circles, along with the philosophy behind each aspect.

Core Elements Circle + The Philosophy of the Circle:

Circle- Circles have no end and no beginning. Each person’s seat place in the circle is equal to the next person’s and you can make eye contact with everyone in the circle. All members of the family circle sit at the same level, either floor or chair.  This is symbolic of shared and equal power. The circle itself indicates that all family members are worthy of the same respect; each member has the freedom and space to express themselves. “Circle” is also the name of the process of having an organized dialogue while sitting in circle.

Talking Piece- An object that can be safely and easily passed is the talking piece. It indicates that only one person will talk at a time; likewise, it denotes that all other members will actively listen when they don’t have the talking piece. The talking piece will always travel the circle in order, even if a member chooses to skip a round, which encourages focus, patience, and turn-taking. Talking pieces can be created or selected to watch the topic of each individual circle or they might be an item that the family relates to and holds dear.

Rounds This is one pass around the circle in order. Family building circles are often pre-planned and focus on a single topic. A series of questions guide the family through intentional conversation and sharing. The talking piece regulates the round, giving each member equal opportunity to speak and be heard.

Values- What guides you and helps inform your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? What is most important to you? What do you hold dear? Family members name their values as a guide for how you will treat one another during the circle process (and moving forward from the circle). Values also establish safety norms for the conversation and the relationships.

Facilitator- All members of the family participate equally; however, one member may be the facilitator of a particular circle. The facilitator reads each prompt and helps ensure that circle norms are being respected. Facilitation is an opportunity for children to be leaders in their family.

As you begin using circles often with the intention of building family community, you will experience a growth in trust, communication, and openness. Then, when conflict arises, you already have a system and connected emotional history for dialoguing about how to transform and repair the hurt.

E-mail Courtney for a FREE template and model for a family building circle to get started!

What is a Family Circle | Power | Use


Courtney Harris : Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here:and 

 

Using Halloween To Impart Values To Kids

Using Halloween To Impart Values To Kids

A chill has set in the air. Leaves are turning brown, dancing away to the tune of the swirling wind. This usually means Halloween is here! 
While partaking in the fun, this is an opportunity to give the children an all round experience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to help children make this holiday about more than chocolate and character costumes? To give them life lessons crucial to their very being. 
Safety First
Being safe is always paramount. And by re enforcing the below guidelines before trick or treating, you give children a gentle reminder to always be safe.
 
  1. No candy from strangers. This is for kids who go trick or treating themselves. No matter how friendly, they should be wary of taking candy from strangers or going near cars with unknown people in them.
  2. Candy has to be brought home before being eaten. Parents should always be given a chance to go through all the candy before it is eaten to check for any allergy issues or in case it has been tampered with. Yes, this is a scary thought but a necessary precaution.
  3. Decorate costumes and bags with reflective tape or stickers and, if possible, choose light colors so that the children can be seen as darkness falls. Have kids carry glow sticks or flashlights to help them see and be seen.
  4. Always walk on sidewalks. When there are no sidewalks, walk facing traffic as far to the left as possible. 
  5. Watch for cars that are turning or backing up. Children should never dart out into the street or cross between parked cars.
  6. Make sure costumes are not too big to avoid kids tripping on them.

Create Costumes

Do you really want to spend $50+ on a costume to be wore for an evening or a couple of parties ? I know we think about what the fun outfits and you go, “ Yay !” You immediately imagine the cute pictures your kids will be posing for. But this too can be turned into a learning experience by using your imagination to get the final output. You don’t necessarily have to get Martha Stewart crafty!
Two years ago, our son wanted to be Iron man. We stuck a dollar store light on his Iron man t shirt (after a lot of trying), put on a beard and he was Tony Stark! The year before that, he wore a long, tattered black sweater and one dollar glasses with a lightning rod on his forehead with a marker and he was Harry Potter!
But discussing with your child months, maybe weeks in advance how you can get the desired output without taking the easy road and picking something. Now I must admit this may take a bit of convincing on your part.
The force of peer pressure and easy of shiny store bought costumes is strong but it is truly worth it when they get really into it. You can actually see the kids’ brain gears moving and the spark in their eyes when they feel they have the right combination of things to throw together.

Last ear, a neighbor came to my house with a black cloth wrapped around his head. Just a cloth but he was so proud that he was a Ninja that I gave him extra brownie points and candy for putting in the effort. On the extremely inventive side, another kid rigged up a blood squirting apparatus to turn into the character from the movie Scream.
Most importantly, this helps kids subtly understand the essence of being unique and not falling under peer pressure.

Plan Pranks

Play a joke. Scare them silly. Take some time to plan some old school or new off the internet, kid friendly pranks. Get some gags at the store or make your own. I love playing the “I’m pulling my thumb out” joke on my kids. It freaks them out but they secretly love it (which is why they ask for repeat performances!) .
Pranks are not a necessity but teach children to be able to laugh at themselves. That being scared is okay. They learn to not take themselves too seriously, which they tend to grow to as they get older.
Planning kid friendly pranks with them assists in thinking ahead and anticipating reactions. Of course this should include the discussion of not playing pranks that might hurt others’ feelings which will invariably educate them about empathy.

Rehearse Manners

I sadly often see kids knocking on the door, grabbing a handful of candy and walking away. This leads us to necessity of the below re iteration of etiquette with children days before the event.
 
  1. Say “Trick or Treat” or “Happy Halloween”. Wishing on an occasion is very essential. You need to greet anyone celebrating and specially anyone who opens the door.
  2. Limit yourself to one. This is a great time to drive home the dying art of moderation in the face of instant gratification.
  3. Say “Thank You”. Children need to be told not everyone chooses to partake in the festivities. This makes it incredibly important to display gratitude towards those who choose to be generous this holiday.
  4. Do not scare kids who are already nervous or make fun of kids who might have a costume mishap or get petrified of a trick gone wrong.

Use The Candy For More Than Consumption

One quarter of all the candy sold annually in the U.S. is purchased for Halloween.
Eating a bucket full of candy is not healthy in any way. Not for your teeth, not for your body and certainly not on your mind. There are many other options to choose to multiply the joy of the receiving the candy. Firstly, make sure you have a set number of candy you and the children can partake. Then,
 
  1. Give to the less fortunate. Keeping your selections, the rest of the candy can be delivered to in person or be mailed to a charity of the kids’ choice. Searching for a charity piques their interest to learn more about the world around them. This is a wonderful way to teach children awareness, responsibility and of course the joy of donation.
  2. Get crafty and make gifts out of them for an upcoming occasion. For eg : with Thanksgiving right after, it is a great way to turn the left over candy into special treats for their friends to express gratitude to.
  3. In the immediate days after, the kids can wear their costumes and take extra candy to a local senior center for an evening of reverse trick-or-treating.
  4. Another wonderful sharing opportunity would be to share their left over candy with those children who for whatever reason could not celebrate on Halloween day. Have a party, extending the festivities and ask everyone who has candy to share and divide them among all attending.
  5. Introduce the Candy Fairy. Ask children if they would like to swap out their candy with a toy. They can place all the candy into a bucket and the next morning the Candy fairy magically transforms them into a toy.
  6. Freeze the candy or save it for later. This is the simplest thing you can do while teaching children how to save for later and indulging only as treats.

Talk About the History & Evolution of Halloween

For children interested, the historical transformation of this holiday will carry significance. Halloween is actually a celebration of Celtic origin to ward of evil ghosts and spirits. It marks the advent of the winter season as the days get shorter and winter gets longer. Historically/Culturally, this is supposed to be a day when the lines between the dead and alive blurs so bonfires were lit and costumes were donned to ward them off.
From being a day of the dead to a day when all dead, specially saints are celebrated with child like activities like the bobbing of apples and having festive parades to now being enjoyed all over the world with candy and costumes: Halloween has certainly morphed multiple times into it’s most fun form. You can read more here Trick or Treat: A History of Halloween and fun easy to read ghost stories for the kids here – Roald Dahl’s Book of Ghost Stories

 

Any opportunity is exponentially meaningful when used to impart moral values to kids.  Let kids be open to the idea of starting new traditions. Partying and gratification aside, it is wonderful to use every chance we can to raise caring children who know how to celebrate responsibly. Wishing you you all wholesome and happy Halloween!
Read more on our book, Strong Roots Have No Fear, how to use every day moments to raise confident, global thought leaders.
Use Halloween To Impart Values To Kids | Raising World Children | Wholesome Halloween
Cyber Bullying

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullying

Cyber Bullies. These types of people have always existed. I’m curious to know if you’ve ever been bullied? I was. The worst of it was back in middle school in the 1970s. In those days we still had outside time, in essence, it was recess. But none of us called it that… “Recess” always sounded so little kiddish. Out in the schoolyard there was a few girls who never liked me. I’m not sure why exactly, but aside from being called names, I was also punched and kicked quite often, for whatever reason.

If I knew the reason then, I certainly don’t remember it now.

Those experiences, even though I don’t recall the reasoning, very much shaped my life. It dramatically lowered my self esteem and it was the beginning of 40 years of falling for the wrong people. People who I allowed to treat me badly.

Talking About Bullying is Paramount

When I was young and getting bullied, I never told my parents and I told a teacher only once, because their advice was more than unhelpful. I was told to “toughen up and ignore them.” As it turns out, research today shows situations like telling the bully to stop and pretending it’s not happening can actually make the situation worse.

It may help your child to know that even grown ups can be cyber bullied and hopefully, in knowing this, it will help your child to be able to report it to you. As a matter of fact, there are many celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied, which, unfortunately, often forces them off of particular social media sites. Some of celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied are:

Ed Sheeran, singer:

In an interview, he made a comment in which Lady Gaga fans interpreted him as saying he disliked her. Those fans went on to say, what Ed calls, “very mean things that were ruining his day,” and were upsetting him very much. Very soon following, Lady Gaga made a statement in his defense. It turns out Ed decided not to quit the social media sites because he and his father had conversations there, but he stopped reading all the other posts.

Normandi Kordei : 

Fifth Harmony singer and you may know her from being a Dancing With the Stars contestant: Normandi was cyber bullied with comments saying things like she “isn’t black enough,” as well as many other racially charged comments. Normandi also says many people had said “some of the most rabid and disgusting” things about women’s bodies and hers in particular.

Zelda Williams:

Daughter of the late Robin Williams: After her father’s death, Zelda reports social media users verbally attacked her and even went so far as to send her photos of a dead man lying in a morgue who resembled her father.

Josh McDermitt.

Actor from the hit tv show, Walking Dead: Josh says that because of his character, Eugene’s role on the show, he received comments of extreme hatred toward him and even death threats. He says people were unable to differentiate between a character on television and Josh’s real life.

Rumer Willis,

Actress and daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: On the morning television show, Megyn Kelly Today, on September 27, 2017, Rumer talked openly about being cyber bullied.

What is Bullying? 

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC) defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths involving an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm. A young person can be a perpetrator, a victim, or both.”

What’s missing in the above description is the fact that bullying occurs to people of any age. And today’s technology brings on another whole host of ways people are bullied. Cyber bullying. It’s so incredibly prominent and cyber bullying includes, not only bullying done through social media channels, but in using any electronic source, such as through text or via email as well.

It is very easy to write things to a person who simply is a name on the screen or at the other end of the line.

Understanding The Need To Be A Bully

One might think bullies have a strong sense of themselves, they probably feel superior and that bullies are just highly opinionated and mean people. What we may not know is bullies actually feel so bad about themselves that breaking someone else down is a way for them to attempt to make themselves feel superior.

It is difficult, perhaps, to look at it this way but bullies are very much hurting inside. I know, most bullies think it’s funny. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying we shouldn’t do everything in our power to stop bullying from occurring. As a matter of fact, research shows being bullied, as well as being a bully, can cause an increased risk of problems in their future, such as academic issues, substance abuse, violent behavior, as well as mental health problems. And both the bully and their victims have an increased risk of suicide. We need to provide empowered assistance to both the bullies and the bullied. 

Cyber Bullying 

Over 50% of teens have been cyber bullied… And only about 10% of those kids will talk to a parent about it. Something cyber bullies don’t keep in mind is there’s consequences. Once bullying comments are made online, it’s practically impossible to completely remove all its traces, which can affect the person doing the bullying for life, even if they’ve apologized to the other person.

These days, prospective colleges are searching online for these occurrences, as are employers. Bullies can face legal charges, and in the situation of “sexting” (which means transmitting naked or inappropriate words or photos), bullies can face the possibility of legally being a labeled as a sex offender.

My Experience as a Parent

My 11 year old son son wanted to play an online game his friends were playing called Runescape. He and I had a long discussion about the privileges and problems of what playing a game where people from all over the world and all ages are playing. It is a tender subject, but I explained about pedophiles by telling him about people posing as youngsters and how incredibly patient they are in order to cause you harm.

I told him these people will befriend you and wait to start asking personal type questions, like your real and full name, address, telephone number, email address and so much more. I told him the only “friends” on the game he was allowed to have were his personal friends from school.

We discussed his password and that I was the only other person who will know it and that I would be going on the game under his password to check up on him. (I also emphasized if there was ever a time I tried to get onto his game and he’d changed the password, he’d be grounded.) We also talked about cyber bullying and what he was to do if it happens (don’t respond, save the comment and tell me immediately).

And lastly, I explained that the only way he could play the game was that I would be playing the game as well. After our very long talk together, I actually drew up a contract and the not we talked about what signing a contract means.

What you can do:

1. Know what sites your child visits. Tell them you will be going onto their accounts. Tell them it’s your job, as a parent, to know what they’re doing and protect them.
2. Always know your child’s passwords.
3. Explain to them the privileges and safety measures that come with being online and having access to the sites you’re allowing them to visit.
4. Set up parental controls, but don’t rely on parental controls alone.
5. Add your children to your “friends” or “follow” lists.
6. Explain to them about cyber bullying and what they’re to do if it does happen (don’t respond, keep the message and tell you immediately.)
7. Block the bullies
8. If a friend of your child communicates to them that they’ve been being bullied in some way, encourage your child to tell you. Also tell your child to encourage their friend to tell their own parents, teachers or school counselors.
9. Always keep the lines of communication with your children open. In order to expect them to be open and honest with you, you also need to be open and honest with them. In sharing things with your children and risking some of your own vulnerabilities, you actually make them feel much more comfortable in sharing their vulnerabilities with you.

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullies | Raising World Children | Bullies | Online Bullies | Protect Kids

 

Check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
Reach out to a Vilomah Remembering Their Lost Ones

Reach out to a Vilomah Remembering Their Lost Ones

Children playing enthusiastically in a playground…
Toddlers rushing to meet their parents after a day away at school…
Kids at a restaurant noisily playing with spoons and forks…
A kid throwing a tantrum in the neighborhood mall or grocery store…
Your child making a mess just to prepare a special mothers day card for you…
Your child running up to you and giving you a bear-hug with sticky fingers and hands…

We come across these situations so often that it is easy to visualize and be able to feel the enthusiasm, hear the noise and see the reactions in our minds. These are common everyday occurrences that we at times take for granted. There are many times we want the children to only be seen and not heard or not even be seen at times when we are in the midst of some important work or busy with our virtual world or just want the noise to quieten down.

We forget that there are some of us who long for a hug, a kiss, the noise, the love, the mess, but do not get it. They dream of holding a little one in their arms, or holding their hands, or teaching them something, but they can’t. They would sacrifice everything in a moment just to hear a sweet voice saying ‘Momma’.

But some dreams do not come true or were about to come true but at the last moment. The beautiful dream was shattered and the bubble burst and you are left with nothing but memories, tears, silent houses, deafening thoughts, empty arms, lifeless cradles…

The Loss Of A Grieving Family

Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child. Losing a child is an excruciating feeling and no matter how much time goes by, the loss and the feeling of loss never goes away. You are forever changed. Continuing your life without your little one is the new normal.

The loss of any loved one is extremely difficult to cope with. But to lose a part of you that you have created and were carrying for so many months while dreaming dreams of forever is all the more difficult, which is something that not many realize.

[bctt tweet=”Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child.” username=”contactrwc”]

Pregnancy loss or infant loss is not easy to go through just because you never knew the child or spent so little time with them. The special bond that is created between the mother and the child is eternal and the mother, even if her child is no longer with her, is still a mother and still grieves for the child that was perfect in her eyes, that was taken away from her too soon.

She carried them and talked to them and shared all her dreams and fears with them. Her children had identities and characteristics; she knew their sleep patterns in her womb; what she could eat or drink to wake them up; when they would kick; when they would be most active; whose sounds would get them moving; what sounds would get them to calm down.

Fathers and siblings too feel the pain and the grief, even if they don’t express it and handle it differently. The family as a whole had built a dream around the little one and the loss reverberates across each member of the household. It is difficult for the other children to understand and come to terms with why their baby brother or sister is not coming home to them… Why they are not getting their promised playmates… Why their parents and other family members are so sad all the time…

I lost my firstborn twin son on the third day in April 2009. I told my daughter about her twin a few years back and she took it very matter-of-factly. Every now and then, she asks some questions about him or happily tells her friends about her brother in heaven and that she will meet him there.

October 15 – Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 

I wish more people would be empathetic towards vilomahs or parents who have lost their children and not want them to ‘get over it’ within a specific period. Everyone goes through their own healing process and needs love and support.

Reach out to someone who has gone through such a difficult time, talk to them about their child, about their feelings, show them that you care. Let them give a voice to the sorrow, the pain and the love that they have kept bottled up inside them. You might be surprised to know that they are eager to share about their angel in heaven and that they remember them every day.

It took me eight years before I finally used writing as a cathartic and therapeutic way of healing and wrote my first book. My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers)

Let us remember our little angels this October and find peace in the hope that we will meet our angels in heaven soon.

Reach Out To A Vilomah Remembering Their Lost Ones - Raising World Children Pregnancy and Infant Lost

Rebecca Vijay Raising World ChildrenRebecca Vijay is an author, mommy blogger, freelance editor and designer, with two young children and an angel in heaven. In a career spanning a decade and a half, she has worked in various industries such as advertising, hotels, NGOs, and publishing; and was heading a commissioning team in OUP when she took a break to spend time with her kids and explore ways to make a difference. She is working on her first YA novel and has published her first book – My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers). – in the memory of her firstborn twin son and has contributed to an inspirational book that has been written by over 100 moms from around the world When You’re DONE Expecting: A Collection of Heartfelt Stories from Mothers All across the Globe. You can find her here
Making Diwali Special With CultureDabba - Giveaway

Making Diwali Special With CultureDabba – Giveaway

This post is a collaboration of Raising World Children and CultureDabba but the opinions are of the author.

The Festival of Lights is coming! It brightens up our lives with love and hope. Diwali is the time to celebrate the essence of family. Festivals, though, are not only a time to splurge, eat and enjoy. They a special time to nurture values.

Values like

  • Curiosity – having healthy dialogues about mythological stories of origin of festivals.
  • Empathy – understanding the root of the many flawed characters in the tales mentioned.
  • Being inclusive – taking the time to connect with all our friends and family.
  • Experiencing life with all our senses – food, fireworks, new clothes, gifts.
  • Spending wisely – choosing to create gifts, decor by hand.
  • Being yourself – creatively and in expression.
  • Appreciating talents and art.

and much more.

We can make this Deepavali and any festival a great time for significant connection. And for that one of the outstanding sources I found was the Diwali edition of CultureDabba, a great initiative to make Indian Mythology, Diwali and even India relatable to kids from around the world. How does it do that? 

Raising World Children Giveaway With CultureDabba

Stories – 

The stories behind festivals like Ganesh Chaturthi, Janmashtami, Dussehra, and of course Deepavali  or any festival around the world are wondrous examples of teaching kids how there is always good within all that seems bad. Mythology though, is hard to comprehend  by young minds. It is paramount we connect these stories to real world examples to make them easier to understand and digest.

They even have stories long forgotten. Stories that talk about moral values that help kids nurture their own qualities. Akbar Birbal, Panchatantra all were wonderful to share again with my children. Tales which I myself had forgotten long ago.

Encouraging Curiosity –

Stories are just a tip of this colorful iceberg! They go onto talk about the festival and how it is celebrated in vibrant detail. Some customs were new to even me and the kids and I had fun discussing the same with each other. I can foresee some new traditions beginning soon.

Crafts – 

The magazine has DIY crafts for kids to do on their own. In the issue we got, there is a card that you can make and replicate for your family and friends. They even have coloring pages to encourage kids to do their own thing. Creating something helps kids use their imagination and helps them relate better to any occasion/topic.

Laughter and Riddles –

Aunty Bindi tickles the kids’ brains with fun, unique riddles. My kids had a great time guessing what the answers were. They now ask all their friends the same and share the jokes that are there in the joke section.

Stimulating the Mind With Light Exercises –

Crosswords, mazes, find the differences and more were a pleasant surprise to be included. We truly enjoyed together finding the answers and played along.

Explore A City –

CultureDabba truly brings India to the finger tips by sharing special things to do in a city. The one we have is Delhi and even I was surprised to learn unique features about a city in India I have never visited.

The magazine even has codes that you can go online and use to access more fun for your kids.

CultureDabba Giveaway

It was for these reasons and the colorful presentation that Raising World Children is happy bring to you a special Giveway this Diwali, with not one but three winners !

One lucky winner will get a gift set of three different festivals filled with the above and more and two bonus winners will get copies of the Diwali edition to cherish to empower kids understand the essence and celebration of Diwali l

You do not want to miss out on three chances to win this amazingly fun filled magazine bringing kids closer to Indian culture in ways they are so used to these days. Click here !

Making Diwali Special With Culture Dabba and Raising World Children | GIveaway | Free Books | Diwali Books | INdian Mythology

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.
Raising World Children Baseball memories

Are The Little League Baseball Memories Worth It?

When he was five, he wanted to give soccer a try.  We did that for one season, but that wasn’t his game.  He had his eye on the sport that has often been called “The Great American pastime”, Baseball.

The next thing I knew, our life was spent running between the practice fields, the baseball fields and the tournament fields. My life was full of little boys that smelled mostly like wet dogs and dirt!  How wonderful!  Who knew there would come a time would I would miss that?  All along, I did.  I just didn’t know how much.

There was something about watching that little guy give his all to every practice and every game that made his mom’s heart soar.  From T-Ball to High school baseball, I went to every baseball practice and every baseball game.

“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.”  Yogi Berra

 Watching my son play ball made life worth living, it made even really rough days, better. It was a time for family.  We went locally and sometimes traveled.  The weather ranged from hotter than hot to colder than cold and it was always a different temperature on the ball field.  We had rain delays and rainouts.  Then there were makeups.  A makeup meant the day that a game was rescheduled from a previous rainout.  That could mean for a really, really long day at the ballpark, oh, but the memories.

PICKING FLOWERS IN THE FIELD

Those little league days were the absolute best.  Some of the boys in the outfield picked flowers, some looked at the sky and others seemed to know exactly what was happening. Some might still run in the opposite direction when it was their turn at bat.  There is nothing quite like a belly laugh with tears in your eyes as you watch with delight while those little ones learn the rules of the game.

Then there were the out of control parents who…..well, lets just leave them sitting on the bench for now.

Youngsters of Little League can survive under coaching a lot better than over coaching.  Willie Mays

Raising World Children Baseball

As the boys began to grow, their skills improved.  They became much more able to control their swings, their throws and their catches.  They were becoming young men.  The game was beginning to change, there was more concentration, fewer mistakes and the belly laughs often turned to knots of suspense as you watched your favorite young man round the bases.

FAVORITE GIRLS

The next thing I knew, my boy was taller than me.  His favorite girls looked a little more like cheerleaders and high school girls and a little less like me.  Once in awhile I would catch a glimpse of that nearly grown man, glancing over to see if I was still there and I knew in an instant that he was still happy to know his mom was there.

As I sit here this evening, I think about the days and years that have flown by since I last saw my little boy play baseball.

One day you wake up and they are grown.  Tonight, I reminisce about my little boy and the Little League Memories.  He’s no longer a little boy, he is now a grown man of 29 and serving his country overseas.  I close my eyes and see him in my mind. It is with great pride and great honor to hold that man in my heart.

I know when that little boy that lives inside of him glances over to see, he will still be happy to know his mom is still here rooting for him. Are your kids enjoying a sport they love ?

Tammy Raising World ChildrenTammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover your Soul Purpose. You can find her