Language Learning, when you are not a Native Speaker

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart”

~ Nelson Mandela ~

Over the last couple of weeks, and since school has started again for the year, I have been continually asked, “What do we do to teach our children our minority language?”

This language, that is perhaps not our own but our partners language! A language we as a non-native speaker need to learn to speak before we can teach our children! The language we want to share as a family.

The first response that comes to a person’s mind when someone says, “I want to learn a language?” is “Oh! You need resources! I can help you with resources!”

In my chapter of “Raising the Global Mindset” book being released on 30 March 2021, I talk about Multicultural Family Problems. A part of which is ‘Making a family language plan‘.

Whilst collecting our resources we regularly forget when our emotions are so invested in the outcome to stop and ask ourselves some questions first?

  1. Why do you want to learn a family language/s?
  2. Do you speak the target language?
  3. Do you have people resources besides your partner that speak the language?
  4. If you don’t speak the language, how are you going to learn the language to teach it?
  5. Will you learn together at the same time as your child?
  6. Do you know how to start?
  7. Have you found all the resources you need?
  8. Do you know what to do with the resources you have?

Now let’s think… can you tell me in three sentences at most why you have started this journey?

For our family, our aim is: “

This for our family means our aim is Biliterate in two languages: English and Arabic. Our children have been taught both languages from birth. They have also learnt a smattering of other languages through neighbours and foreign language studies at school, however we remain consistent with our aim (biliterate in English and Arabic) and consider everything else a very useful extra.

Now, back to having a pile of resources and a look of astonishment and panic, as you look at that pile of resources for the first time wondering what to do. I remember that feeling well! A video…a tiny month-old-baby and…no idea at all about what to do!

I can remember creeping to the table, and picking up an “Iftah ya Simsim” (Arabic Sesame Street) DVD case, like I thought it might bite, and taking it to the DVD player. I don’t know how long I stared at the three disks in the box, until I opened it to discover more than one disk.

Eventually, I managed to put the DVD in to play that said “1” and sat on the floor with my daughter in my lap singing nursery rhymes from the subtitles. Feeling like a dill and thinking, “What is my baby going to understand from this?” Likewise, for the story in English I read her every night.

My husband subscribed to Arabic satellite TV so we could watch familiar cartoons in Arabic during the afternoon. Truthfully, in the beginning, I switched on the TV to English cartoons in the morning and Arabic cartoons in the night, so there was not a silent house whilst my daughter slept. Then when she had her floor exercise time, she had something to listen to besides my monologue about what we needed to do today. I also thought then that I could claim I was making an attempt at sharing both our languages with our daughter. That was my excuse! I did not actually know at the time it was true, and a useful tool for learning.

My aunty, who is a teacher and regularly works with children with hearing impairments, said to always keep the subtitles ON on the TV, so that print and sound/speaking become familiar together. Living overseas in Arabic speaking countries, signs are regularly bilingual in Arabic and English. In Australia, most signage is in English. A majority of the products bought have only English labels. So subtitles became a method of discovering print. Although, it could not be read – by either of us regularly. *Sigh*

To create other opportunities to explore print and letters I made a word wall. Well, at first we printed an alphabet chart. The alphabet chart was set up as a box for each letter and included:

  •  the Arabic letter ب
  • a picture of something starting with the letter 🏡
  • the name of the letter in English (baa)
  • the word related to the picture in Arabic ( بيت ), and
  • the word’s English transliteration (bayt).

When my daughter was little, I would read it to her to teach me. I printed baby size cards the same as the wall chart and we would have a game reading the word and finding the word on our wall chart. My husband regularly laughed at us but helped with our pronunciation when he was not at work.

Having your three year old tell you, “No Mama! You say it like ‘this’!” is a little disconcerting at first, but she was learning! I was learning! If I let her correct me, she took ownership of her languages. Whilst being told I should not let my child tell me I was wrong, I decided to teach her to do so in a respectful manner. “Mama, stop please!” followed by her saying the correct sentence.

The first time someone said in front of my then 4 year old daughter, “Why are you teaching her Arabic too? Everyone speaks English in Australia!” She piped up, “You cannot speak Arabic? Do you need me to help you learn it? I am a good teacher! Ask my Mama!”. This was how I knew letting her be my teacher too was the best decision for my family.

My tips for learning a family language, are:

  1. The best time to start learning your family language is…today!
  2. The best way to start for me was to choose just one thing and do it every day for a month. (Singing a song in the car on the way to the supermarket counts as one thing. Make it fun so you want to do it.)
  3. When it becomes a habit, add another thing as well.
  4. Only do something you enjoy.
  5. Don’t try and do everything at once.

This month’s goal is putting together a booklet called “Getting Started: a non-native speakers guide for Raising Bilingual Children – Arabic”.

It will include some ideas of where to find resources written in English to teach/learn Arabic with your child. Including some basic Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) daily used phrases. Hopefully, once the MSA version is complete, an edition including dialects can be added. Basically, it is the beginner notes I wish I had the day I started teaching Arabic to my daughter. I had five different Arabic language teachers in Australia, all from different dialects, and in some cases I do not know the standard word that would be understood by all even if it is not a commonly used word. It will just be a starting point. Notes to print and drop into a folder so you can add your own notes and keep them all together.

“To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the World!”

~ A Chinese Proverb ~

Have fun!

Learning while Laughing!

What it Feels Like to Become Bilingual

What it Feels Like to Become Bilingual

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re walking around the airport, bag rolling behind you on the shining linoleum. There is a constant hum buzzing. It’s the sound of people chatting away, making small talk or simply trying to race to their next flight to some unknown part of the world. 

Exhausted and maybe a bit anxious you find your gate and finally sit down, only to have noisy kids beside you. But then something neat happens. They speak. And it’s not English. The foreign words fly out of their lips like bees to honey.

And your heart sinks. 

You have had a lifetime dream of learning a foreign tongue but you’re afraid will never be able to speak another language like those children do with ease. 

And you wonder … 

[bctt tweet=”What does it really feel like to speak two languages?” username=”contactrwc”]

How Difficult Is It To Be Bilingual ? What It Feels Like To Be Bilingual ? how is it like to talk more than one language ? Parenting Tips | Family | Life lessons

Exhausted

I remember how that felt to see kids speaking the language I dreamed of learning. It was so easy for them yet seemed impossible for me. I thought I would ever be able to speak Ukrainian with my husband and his family. 

Yet, I consistently went to my Ukrainian language lessons shoving massive amounts of vocabulary into my brain. Living in Ukraine helped me learn the language but the combination of memorizing words and continually hearing words I didn’t understand left me feeling worn out and simply exhausted.

Childish

We lived with my sister-in-law and her family. She had a toddler at the time and it was neat to be able to look at his baby books and understand the counting or animals that were shown. The lessons were paying off.

And yet, I felt like the child. Not because of the books but because of the way I spoke the new words. My tongue could not wrap itself around the shch’s or rolled r’s. Plus, without the full ability to speak, I needed someone to be with me in public to translate. Childish. 

Magical

Then came the best part. There are moments when the words you learn pop up in conversations around you and eventually an entire sentence will have words you’ve learned. And you understand what the person speaking said. 

It feels like magic. 

Understanding those words strung together for the first time is like you just broke the spell on a hard to crack curse. You have finally gained some control.

At least, until the person continues speaking and you have no idea what they said. Again. 

[bctt tweet=”Becoming bilingual feels like magic” username=”contactrwc”]

Shy

This stage lasted a while for me, in part due to living in a country where the younger generation is eager and excited to learn English and practice it any way they can. Like on me. 

So, during my four-year stay in Ukraine, I spent most of that time speaking English. Even teaching it at one point. I could understand the language well, but the words still stuck in my throat. 

Plus, people laughed when I tried speaking Ukrainian. There were not many foreigners in the city where I lived which meant I sounded funny. It made me more shy. 

Powerful

It wasn’t until my husband and I moved back the United States that I lost my shy nature and finally started speaking Ukrainian fluently. I was no longer too shy to speak to my husband and I wanted to teach my little boy Ukrainian as well. No one knew if my grammar was correct or not, so I spoke until the words came out naturally. 

And it felt powerful.

I could speak the language. My husband and son could understand me and when my mother-in-law visited the United States, we had one on one conversations for the first time.

I had finally become bilingual. 

The next time I was in the airport with my husband and son to visit Ukraine, I understood the words rapidly flying out of the small children’s mouth at the gate. Amazing. I realized the seemingly impossible is possible. It simply comes with a lot of emotions. 

But don’t be afraid of the feelings that accompany the ride to becoming bilingual, the good and the bad. Hold on the magic, the shyness, childish feelings, exhaustion and then the power. Those emotions make life worth living and learning a language memorable. 

Just don’t live in this emotion: fear. 

Go ahead, learn for yourself with it feels like to become bilingual.

Jewel Elise Raising World Children - Where Cultures Meet ParentingJewel Eliese is a fiction writer, developmental editor, co-creator of the Medium publication Writer Mom and founder of writeawaymommy.com. Jewel runs on lukewarm coffee and baby kisses. She believes every mom can write well. Get the free checklist to find time to write with kids around here writeawaymommy.com/checklist/

 

3 Parenting Mistakes When Teaching A New Language

3 Parenting Mistakes When Teaching A New Language

This is a sponsored post. All opinions that of the author.

I am Indian. Ideally, Hindi would be my native language. The realization that English was my first language came to light one bright and sunny evening a few years after my kids were born. 

At the park, an elderly Indian lady approached us and started making small talk. She asked the standard questions about where in India did I belong, where I worked etc. After a few minutes of watching my son and me, she questioned, “Your son doesn’t speak Hindi?”

When I replied in the negative, she retorted, ” But you stay at home, right ? How is it he hasn’t learned? “

Needless to say, I was livid! It was hurtful and insensitive on so many levels my mind hurt from thinking about it. 

Raising World Children Hindi

A few days later though, it made me introspect. I wondered about the kids I knew who did speak their native language. Comparing  all the things parents with native language speaking kids did differently than us. I asked questions. The most important answer that came across was, ” Make them speak Only in that language. ” Easier said than done!

My son would just say No to  even the theory of learning. In his head he is American and since none of his friends in preschool or teachers spoke Hindi, he just didn’t feel the need. It has been a couple of years of trial and errors and I am still working on the same. While, the resistance to learning Hindi has finally reduced thanks to friends in school who are bilingual or working on it, we still have a long way to go.

For the longest time, I never understood the base reason of why my son, whose parents are both Indian didn’t just naturally pick up the language ?!

Their main focus however is providing high quality language one on one coaching to eager students who want to learn new languages.

As I went through their blog, it reiterated the need to introduce and make that extra effort to raising multilingual kids. That is when my mistakes and the ways to correct the same came to light!

Not Speaking The Language Consistently At Home

Most of the kids I know who speak their native language have grandparents living with them for long periods of time. Or parents who speak the language at home. At our home, we speak English foremost. My husband and I speak English more often than Hindi. When I started thinking about why, that is when I realized in actuality English is my first language and it is hard for me to remind myself constantly to talk in Hindi.

I needed to first work on myself. 

On this suggestion,  I stuck post it notes around the upper level to teach the kids easy to learn words with pictures. Also, another friend suggested to stick post it notes around Everywhere to remind you to speak in Hindi or whatever language you want to teach kids. 

Not Letting The Kids Struggle

My son doesn’t speak but he understands Hindi completely. We know because he retaliates when we happen to talk in Hindi about doing something he doesn’t like. (Ha! ) But when it comes to conversing, it is hard looking at the kids flounder for the right word to use. Also, time consuming. In the hurry to get on with our day, we would give in and tell them in English what we were saying in Hindi. We wouldn’t stick with it.

I now take the time we in which we do homework to talk to my kids exclusively in Hindi. The instructions I need to give them are familiar and they find it easier to relate and respond. 

Not Reading To Them In New Language

Funnily Hindi books are hard to find and harder to read when you do. They are so content heavy that it is hard to get  kids to sit still for the reading. Little Linguine drove home the fact that I need to do the same.

I have now made simple, easy to understand short stories with a few English words thrown in to keep them interested.

Learning a new language can be daunting at any age. Together we can work towards creating an interest for new languages, specially respect for our native ones in our children. 

3 Mistakes Parents Make In Teaching Kids a New Language www.raisingworldchildren.com #languages #hindi #parenting #teachingkids #multicultural

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.