Why Don't Americans Watch Foreign-Language Films?

Why Don’t Americans Watch Foreign-Language Films?

by with 7 Comments AmericaLanguages

I am fortunate enough to live with my mother-in-law.

Maybe not everyone would feel that way but I do especially since she is from another country. Ukraine.

Since it’s winter and cold outside in my state and not always the most amount of things to do in the cold weather, we end up watching a good amount of movies. It has become one of my favorite winter traditions. But the more movies you watch the fewer ideas you have of what to watch next.

This has been our dilemma.

Recently we have been watching movies with seen before and sometimes my mother-in-law I will ask me if I have seen a certain movie which she says is fantastic. The first question I always end up asking her is, is it an American movie.

Because if it’s not I already know I haven’t seen it.

Maybe I am just ignorant. Maybe I just don’t love movies as much as I thought I did but I think it is more of a cultural aspect. Most Americans just don’t watch so many other form films like other countries seem to.

But what I am curious about is, why is this so and would it be beneficial not only for adults to watch foreign movies but kids as well?

Why the Disinterest?

The U.S. box office for the top five foreign-language films has declined by 61% in the last seven years.

But why is this?

I remember this episode of friends where Joey has to go watch a movie with one of the other friends, Ross probably. He was happy and excited to watch the movie until it started.

Once the words started scrolling on the bottom of the screen. It was a foreign film. He was, of course, hilarious and the sea and we all had a good laugh about it. But for many, this may be the problem that is truly wrong with watching foreign films.

Because people don’t want to go to a movie to read, at least that is one argument. Personally I don’t mind reading the translations, and actually, think it is a really neat idea to always have closed captioning for all, but I admit I can be a fast reader.

And not everyone is.

And then there is dubbing. When I think of movies that are dub from another language and English I think Chinese films that are quite cheesy perhaps in their mouth’s move at that separate time than the words they speak. Even just thinking of this makes me not want to watch a movie like that, though many love that niche.

But since I lived in Ukraine for four years I watched many Americans movies that were dumped into Ukrainian. I was surprised. As long as the actors are good and the movie has a nice translation you don’t have that separation from lips moving and speaking. You can’t hear they American voice then underneath it as well. And it’s actually quite enjoyable.

Who knew?

But these two reasons are why Americans don’t like to watch foreign films.

 

Foreign-Language Films and Children

Because my son was born in Ukraine we were able to bring back with us some DVDs. Some cartoons in hopes that he would learn the Ukrainian language. And it really has helped. But it has done more than help with this speaking skills, it has shown him culture as well.

Have you seen the cartoon called Masha on Netflix?

It’s about a little girl who lives with a bear. Is cute and my kids love it but the thing that makes me most interested in it, kind of fun for me to sit and watch with the kids is that the first time I saw it was in Ukraine, in the Ukrainian language.

It is a foreign-language cartoon.

And the kids love it. And I love how I can see bits and pieces of the Ukrainian cultural mixed into the cartoon story. The way she sometimes wears a handkerchief around her face, the certain phrases that are used only by Ukrainians but somehow work for Americans as well, and the types of foods that she may cook or eat was Bear. All these little things added and end up showing the way Ukrainians thank, eat, and the stories they tell. In other words, culture.

Watching foreign-language films can help kids learn about other cultures in fun and natural way, just as they would learn ABC’s from Wallykazam.

[bctt tweet=”Watching foreign-language films can help kids learn about other cultures in fun and natural way, just as they would learn ABC’s from Wallykazam. ” username=”contactrwc”]

And they don’t seem to mind the translation at all.

But here’s the thing, if adults and watched more foreign films well, we too could learn about other cultures. A way to experience culture without ever having to leave your home or city.

But It’s Not Your Fault

“Foreign films simply don’t play with American audiences.” —Foreign Policy

Why would we watch a film we know nothing about when we have so many amazing movies and trailers that already fill our commercials and lives.

Who’s your favorite actor or actress?

Do you sometimes go watch a movie just because they’re in it? I know why sometimes too. And most the time for foreign films we don’t know the cast. Another downfall for foreign films. Many people watch movies that have a feeling of familiarity. You naturally want to watch a movie we know something about.

We don’t get enough of the marketing to make us that interested. This combined with the other problems mixes not watch them even though we know we probably should.

So what can we do?

It starts with us. And we can start with our children we can start with their children. Not only are foreign beneficial for children but we as parents as we watch and make sure that they are safe for children might start enjoying them, too.

 

[bctt tweet=”Not only are foreign beneficial for children but we as parents as we watch and make sure that they are safe for children might start enjoying them, too.” username=”contactrwc”]

That’s one of the tricks of movies. It’s like a spiral. You watch the movie and the trailers that can become before it and you get excited for the next movie and on and on.

So go ahead take the timeout. Relax and enjoy some time spent with your kids learning about cultural an a fun and easy way.

And Watch a foreign-language movie. 

Broaden Your Parenting Horizons


Top 10 Economical Things to Do in NYC with Teenagers

Top 10 Economical Things to Do in NYC with Teenagers

by with 10 Comments AmericaGuidesHeritageImmigrationMoney saving tipsTravel

Visiting New York can be quite the challenge when you are on a tight budget and have children in tow. All those expensive hotels, restaurants, attractions and stores threaten your wallet with their high prices and upscale services. Nonetheless, we took the chance this last Christmas and flew to the Big Apple with three teenagers and a extremely thrifty allocation. 

And we couldn’t be happier! We had a great time and the kiddos are already planning to go back to this great city once mom and dad recover their financial health (maybe it is time for me to get a second job? Ha!). 

Time to plan!

Once you have figured out the plane tickets and hotel expenses (there are many offers and sales to go to NY), it is time to think about the places you want to explore. You will need to find a good combo of entertainment and price to keep your family excited and to add some cultural value to your traveling experience. We focused on points of interest, culture, uniqueness and cost. After much needed discussions we agreed to visit the following crowd-pleasers:

  1. Macy’s 34th Street. 

Even thought this is a shopping place, we love Macy’s because of their magical Christmas decorations, ambience (hello LIVE music) and “Believe” motto. We spend approximately 45 minutes walking around the store while my children took pictures of the festive displays. After that, we explored Herald Square and drank hot cocoa. 

2. Times Square.

The most popular commercial intersection of the world is the perfect background for holiday pictures with teenage children. Yes, it was crowded. Yes, many consider Times Square to be a tourist trap. But I can assure you that if you avoid eating in this area and stick to enjoy the lights, the multicultural environment and make some good family photographs, you will have fun without spending a dime. Remeber that Times Square stretches from West 42nd to West 47th Streets, so take the time to check the little souvenir stores in the area. Also, if your kids are into comics, there are a couple of cool places that sell limited edition issues and memorabilia to go with it. 

3. The Oculus. 

This impressive train station designed by Santiago Calatrava is perfect to warm shivering children after exploring the World Trade Center memorial site. The Oculus futuristic design left my boys speechless! Stroll around this beautiful structure and talk to your children about the power of hope and resilience. The Oculus is a statement to celebrate life and the willingness of human kind to overcome tragedy. 

4. Federal Hall National Memorial. 

Pay a visit to George Washington in front of Federal Hall and discover the history behind this neoclassical building. Federal Hall became the first Capitol of the United States in 1789 and it was here where George Washington was inaugurated as first President of the United States on the balcony on April 30th, 1789. Visitors can take a look at the Bible used to swear Washington’s oath of office and the Freedom of the Press, the imprisonment and trial of John Peter Zenger. Entry is free. 

5. Fearless Girl. 

I felt so excited to bring my daughter to get her picture taken with Fearless Girl. This bronze sculpture by Kristen Visbal depicts a girl facing Wall Street and it was commissioned to advertise an index fund that comprises gender-diverse companies that have relative high percentage of women among their senior leadership. Remeber to take advantage of such an opportunity to encourage your children to think about gender-equality and women rights. 

6. Ellis Island. 

Before our arrival in New York City, we agreed on paying for just one attraction during our four day stay. The winner was the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island Cruise (Sorry Mr. Empire State and Top of the Rock). For us was a matter of cultural and historical traditions, and the possibility of having a place that our children could explore on their own. 

I must say that Ellis Island didn’t disappoint. 

This getaway for over 12 million immigrants to the United States is the perfect place to promote diversity among children and young adults. The exhibits include real artifacts, newspapers, videos, and plenty of photographs of immigrants from around the world. Our children read with special interest the information about medical inspections and English courses for Eastern Europeans.

We also felt moved by the wall of Naturalization Certicates, since I am a naturalized US-citizen myself. Be aware that you must allocate around 2 hours to explore the facilities, this could be somehow demanding for younger children. Our kids are 12, 13, and 14. You can read about the history of Eliis Island here.

7. Rockefeller Center.

If you are visiting the Big Apple during the Christmas holidays  you cannot miss the iconic Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. We strolled around the center, took pictures, drank coffee and enjoyed the lights displays of the stores along 5th Avenue. There is nothing more magical than the Christmas ambience in this part of the city.

We also shared with our kids the story of the very first Tree at Rockefeller Center, that was erected in 1931 during the Great Depression Era. Back then the tree was 6 meters tall and was decorated with austerity by workers of the area. The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree has always been a gathering place and reflection for locals and tourist alike. 

8. Samsung 837.

Located in the heart of the Meatpacking District, this digital playground is the place to visit when anxious teenagers start to complain about too much walking and too many historical facts. Samsung 837 is an impressive display of technology and culture where your family can try different virtual reality gadgets and rides. The attractions are free and there is even a nice area for mom to seat down while dad and the kiddos enjoy the extravagant show of futuristic equipment. 

9. Brooklyn Bridge. 

Young teenage legs will enjoy strolling across the elevated pedestrian walkway to experience unique views of New York City. The iconic Brooklyn Bridge is a free of cost attraction that has been featured in many movies and television shows around the world. It is a great place for family portraits and provides an opportunity to stretch tired muscles and get some fresh air. 

We searched online resources to enhance our visit to this renowned landmark and to have some conversation starters during lunch after crossing the bridge. Use the Internet to discover many interesting facts about the Brooklyn Bridge, many sorted out by age and theme. 

10. Imagine Mosaic-Central Park.

One of the focal points of Central Park is the Imagine mosaic, a tribute to John Lennon. My children read online that this mosaic was done by Italian artists and was a gift from the city of Naples. Since we are huge Lennon and The Beatles fans, visiting this are of the Park was one of our bucket list items. Please remember, that the Imagine mosaic is located inside the Strawberry Fields Memorial, a designated quiet zone that doesn’t allow biking, rollerblading and loud music. The ambience was that of reflection and peace. 

These are our top ten recommendations to enjoy New York City on a budget. There is still so much to do and see in the Big Apple! These are just an overview of what you can accomplish with your children in approximately 3 days without going broke. New York City is a place where we would love to come back since we felt absolutely in love with the many things to do. From museums to landmarks, to shows and even cafes, it is impossible to ignore the cultural value of this place for you and your family. 

Feel free to write comments below to share further details and ideas. 

 


Don’t forget to share this with friends and save for your next trip.

Economical Things to Do with Teens in NYC

sr

Multi Award-winning Parenting Book – Strong Roots Have No Fear

by with 21 Comments EducationEmpowermentHeritageMulticulturalParenting

Childhood is a country in itself. And the same rules of immigration apply. One needs to observe their culture, learn their language and imbibe traits from them to help build a sense of community. With the belief that if we raise children with a strong value system, we need not fear for their future,  I bring to you Strong Roots Have No Fear.

I am a global citizen, raised shuttling between countries and now parenting children who are American by birth. An Indian writing about challenges every parent faces in our ever evolving world. A Third Culture Kid, I understand first hand what it means to be raised on the borders of multiple countries and cultures.

In this book I have given simple strategies I’ve learned from observing mothers around the world and my own childhood to help raise kids who are confident and have a global mindset early.

This small book made BIG waves around the world by being named TOP 10 among thousands of entries at the Author Academy awards.

Chapters in the book include –

Being an Empowered Parent
Channel Big Emotions
Imbibe Multilingualism
Motivate Self Reliance
Cultivate Talent Within
Balance Technology
Impart Self Moderation
Instill Gender Equality
Counter Bullying
Prepare for Tragedies/Predators
Infuse Your Heritage
Celebrate Diversity
Ingrain Racial Equality
Mantras for Travel
and more …

In short this book includes simple, easy to implement ways in which you can use your child’s strengths to intuitively, be mindful about –

** Raising Confident Children
** Building a Global Mindset

An easy read, this book uses the Author’s experiences as a multicultural child herself and parenting journey to empower multicultural families like her own to raise awareness about important values every child needs to grow strong.

PRESS FOR THE BOOK

Bicultural Mama – Celebrating Best of Two Worlds

Momspresso – India’s Best Parenting Portal

Fantastic Feathers – Book Review & Travelogue Blog

Simply T Nicole – Motivational Speaker

MomTinCulture – Parenting Blogger & Author (Because I Promised )

My Baby, My Books & I – Book Review Blog 

Amazon Reviews (40+)

ABOUT THE BOOK – Strong Roots to Live an Empowered Life

I want for my children is to be safe. And strong. With good behavior and decision making skills to boot, with a lot of kindness sprinkled on. To be rooted in their values, no matter what storms blow across their life. Strong Roots Have No Fear – talks about raising children with a confident and global mindset.

I can only assume you are nodding your heads in unison. Yes, we want our children to excel academically but more than that, we want them to win at life. Not in the getting a trophy kind of way but a, able to find the silver lining in every situation or being a culturally aware kind of way.

Do you worry about your child’s future?

Of course you do. You are a parent. That means fears are a part of your life every single day. Wondering how you will teach your kids to navigate this elaborate maze called life.

I often hear comments of trepidation, “Oh! Wait till they hit their teen years.” or “Some day they are going to forget everything about our culture. ” or “This generation is so spoiled.” etc. and I wonder why are parents doubt the values they are providing their children?  Sure, the kids will have a phase of rebellion and self discovery but that does not mean they will never find their way back. There is no guarantee for tomorrow but to be so negative in your own mindset hampers your child’s vision of themselves.

Having high expectations of our children may hamper their growth but knowing we believe in them will help them stand strong no matter the struggle. And life is so full of struggles, right? While we cannot control our kids future, we as parents sure can create a solid foundation for our children to grow into. Giving them their history to anchor them, their present to grow into and their future to look towards with joy.

When I was young, my mom constantly talked to me about being good, manners, being strong in my choices and a LOT of that had a big effect on many decisions I made later in life. Decisions that were life altering. The lessons my parents taught me and a lot they didn’t, form the crux of all that I have achieved in my life. All the decisions that taken timely saved me in my darkest moments.

That is partly why I started writing about the many challenges parents face in balancing current cultures and their own heritage.  To have one space where parents can go for easy answers or relatable content. That mission grew into what you are reading today, a magazine for parents by parents because we all can after all learn from each other.

Empowering Children to Thrive in a Multicultural World with Intuitive Parenting

Strong Roots Have No Fear

Over the course of the past 8 years, I have come across few simple strategies that negate all the current mumbo jumbo surrounding parenting. All we need to do is trust our instinct and make sure the kids grow rooted within prepared for the many challenges an ever evolving multicultural world will provide.  So how do you give your children strong roots?

  • By providing them sound start in their early years.
  • Teaching kids to stand tall in face of life’s milestones.
  • Imparting the vision to make good choices.
  • A global mindset that helps build awareness within.

To that end, I bring to you the very first book that talks in a most straight forward language about all the above in great detail with tips of everything below. Parenting our children with a strong, culturally aware mindset enables us to be optimistic about their future thus removing a lot of the fear associated with an unknown tomorrow.

In the book you will find

  • The confidence to be intuitive as a parent.
  • Introspection towards mindful living.
  • Timeless strategies to impart a positive mindset.
  • A global approach to nurturing your multicultural family.
  • How to be culturally sensitive and rooted within self.

While the book is aimed at parents raising kids aged 0-10, most of the timeless life lessons in it are applicable to any age really After all, most of us can use reminders of what to do with bullies, how to deal with self doubt, increasing self empowerment, being aware about the world with an open mind etc.

Most importantly, it is not a “one size fits all” solution. It is a – “here is the fabric and ideas, get creative with your own dress” solution to parenting everywhere.

You can find out what people around the world are saying about my writing here. Signing up gives you tons of freebies and also keeps you in the loop as to the progress of the book. 

You can find ALL my work in one place here or get a taste of what the book includes HERE.

I’m passing on all that I have implemented and learned over the past years, so you do not have to ask anyone the question, “What tips would you give me to make sure my kids grow strongly rooted in values, right from the beginning?” .

Don’t forget to share this post with your friends. If you would like to support the growth of this book, you are welcome to join the Strong Roots Book Support Group here.

Don’t Forget to Tell Your Friends or Pin This Post for keepsake. After all sharing is caring!

strong roots have no fear


Raising Confident Kids with a Global Mindset - Strong Roots Have No Fear

The Accepted Culture Of "Body Shaming"

The Accepted Culture Of “Body Shaming”

by with 5 Comments Mindset

I will begin by saying, I was very apprehensive talking about this topic “Body Shaming”.

We are a multicultural platform. Often we talk about how various issues are dealt across different cultures. I for one is always on the lookout for things that might be similar across all cultures. One that tops the charts is “body shaming”, so despite my hesitation here I am.

The “culture of body shaming” is one concept that is consistent across all “cultures”.

No disparity, trust me.

If you have a physical drawback in one culture then you have it across all the cultures and you will be duly reminded of it. This begins from the day you are born.

So were you a cute as a baby or not so much? See what i mean?

DO YOUR PARTICIPATE IN BODY SHAMING

It comes in so many forms and is mostly termed harmless, even wrapped as “constructive” criticism.

If any conversation or comment about your physical appearance belittles you, makes you question your worth or as a result of which you gradually lose confidence in yourself then it is “body shaming”.

This is a very difficult and somewhat sensitive subject, all the same talking about “body shaming” is tantamount for a healthy childhood. Surprisingly it affects kids and at very young age too.

A flippant remark about someones physical appearance can change the way kids look at people. The worth of a person gets associated with how they look and a tiny seed of body shaming is sown.

Granted we cannot watch what we say all the time but being a bit more careful before judging someone solely on their physical appearance can go a long way.

How can we deal with body shaming? Here are a few things I feel might help.

PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN A BODY

One morning in 1994 thousands of teenage girls across India waited with bated breath in front of their television screens as Sushmita Sen was crowned “Miss Universe”.

These pageants are supposed to be all about physical beauty but it also signified something dramatic, something more significant.

That moment is etched on so many minds as a declaration to the world “we girls of India have arrived, we can touch the sky”. For many teen eyes it was about what a girl can be and achieve in new day India.

Sadly, overtime it became all about physical beauty and even Sushmita Sen was not above body shaming.

The Miss Universe straightened her crown and proved to the world she is more than a beautiful body. An epitome of inner strenghth. A person who owns her decisions and grows with them.

Every strong person who can forge their own path and gets back up after each fall is a beautiful person. Beauty is as beauty does.

ENDORSE SELF LOVE

It’s so easy to count your physical flaws everyday for recreational purposes. But when your 6 year old tells you they don’t like their face it hits you hard.

It won’t matter how many times you tell them they are perfect as they are. It has to start with you.

Children imitate what they see including body shaming.

To endorse self love in our kids we need to endorse it ourselves. Love that not so perfect nose, flabby tummy, the skin that could have behaved better at ageing. Everything.

We need to learn “If i love my body no one has the right to tell me otherwise”.

Be warned Self love is very difficult. I have had near strangers remind me to be unhappy because of my body and how it looks “ugly”.

Their duty done, all in the name of promoting a healthy life, sprinkled with the holy knowledge that guarantees longevity. Only forgetting to mention “Also be very careful while crossing any roads, use zebra crossings, and you will live to eternity”.

Though only what is does is, add one more miserable person to the bandwagon of self haters with a few million more to go.

Your body has only you to love it, improve it if possible but do not hate it. There are enough people doing it for you.

PROMOTE A BETTER OUTLOOK

My children need to learn that no persons body gives them the right to shame it. Nor does anybody has the right to do the same to them.

I highly commend those people who change their bodies for the better. What if some one is incapable of doing so? Don’t they deserve a happy judgement free existence?

As it is the world has too many broken people, no one needs to add to it.

There are people who were born with severe physical imperfections but have thrived and lived successful lives. It’s a person that rises above the odds not just a body.

“If you see a person struggling give them a hand, don’t pull them down further”. This might just be a statement but it has the potential to change the mindset of an entire generation.

So if you have ever been body shamed for height, weight, complexion, a disability or anything it’s time to put your foot down.

To all those whose sensibilities get offended by all of our “not-perfect” bodies, there is a simple science, please look away.

There are hordes of people whose intellect frustrates me or personality I might not like, but that does not give me the right to shame them.

No ones physical appearance makes them lesser human beings, neither do they deserve to be treated unfairly.

As we step into a new year, we all resolve to be better parents, friends or life partners. I also resolve to be a more tolerant and body confident person.

Have you also encountered body shaming? Do share your views on the subject.

How to Try Something New in 2019

How to Try Something New in 2019

by with 11 Comments EmpowermentMindset

Looking at Your Patterns

I have been thinking a lot recently about the ways new routines and exploration inspire growth. See, as an INFJ, I am a creature of habit. For example, I eat the same meal for breakfast each morning (and have for a few years); I love getting to bed early (even if I’m the first one to leave a gathering); I like attending the same workout classes and going to the same grocery stores; I default to alone or quiet time versus loud, crowded, or highly-stimulating environments.

When my days consist only of these habits, I am comfortable, in a sense, but, as it turns out, I am also a bit lonely, bored, and uninspired.

This realization about my own tendencies has helped me prioritize learning new things! I have come to appreciate opportunities to try and experiment with new skills and hobbies. It is through doing new things that I become more myself. This article is an invitation for you to get curious about how trying something new can impact you and your family this year and beyond.

Learn Something New This Year

Here at the beginning of 2019, we each have an opportunity to pause and consider what we want our year ahead to be like. You might enjoy setting intentions– personally and/or as a family, and you can find my guide for this process here.

If words or phrases like play, fun, exploration, adventure, growth, change, curiosity are part of your hopes and dreams for the new year, I encourage you to consider trying something new! When it comes to learning a new skill or doing something you have never tried before, the benefits are plentiful.

When you try something new, you can…

  • Surprise yourself! Perhaps you pick up a new skill or hobby very quickly or maybe you discover a new passion. How cool it is to feel surprised by your own gifts, talents, and interests!
  • Connect with new friends and community members. New interests mean the potential for a new community! Friendships often begin through shared interests. Thus, when you step up to learning a new skill, you also give yourself an opportunity to meet new people.
  • Know yourself in a new, deeper way. The process of trying something new will help you learn more about your needs, preferences, challenges, and so on. If you go into the experience ready and willing to notice what comes up for you, it’s certain that you will learn something important about yourself.
  • Build confidence. Tackling a new skill will support you in feeling accomplished. Simply naming a goal and taking steps towards it can boost your confidence. Even perceived “failures” or mistakes can help you feel proud of yourself.
  • Increase resilience. Trying new things asks you to stretch yourself beyond what’s comfortable. When you meet challenges and face healthy struggle, you grow resilience! This will undoubtedly carry over into other parts of your life!
  • Expand your sense of self and the world. As you begin a new project or learning experience, you may find your perspective of yourself, your community, or the world expanding. This process might also bring you a sense of connection to others, your community, and the world.
  • Release an old habit or routine that isn’t serving you. As you take on new learning experiences, you may discover that some of your patterns are ready to be retired. When you dedicate yourself to a new interest, prepare to notice what you are ready to let go of, change, or alter.

Try Something New This Year

What comes to mind as you consider this phrase, “Try something new this year!”

What thoughts, feelings, and beliefs arise?

If you are facing self-doubt as you read this phrase, I invite you to notice it with compassion. Self-doubt and fear can try to swoop in as a protector; these sensations might be trying to keep you from changing because change is uncomfortable! When protectors show up, you might find a sense of calm though loving kindness practices; take the time to remind yourself (and your protectors) that growing, changing, and expanding are important aspects of your experience.

If specific ideas or visions come to mind as your read this phrase, I invite you to give them space. Write these words or images down; doodle or draw them out. Maybe you’d even like to describe these ideas aloud– to yourself or a loved one. Your sense of excitement and joy in seeing yourself take on a new interest is valid and important.

No matter what thoughts, feeling, and beliefs you are facing, you are worthy of trying something new! You deserve to experience new learning opportunities, and you are capable of challenging yourself to expand and grow. Plus, you’ll give yourself to experience the benefits listed above (and then some).

Now, how will you decide what trying something new will mean to you this year?! To help you take the first step, I created a list of 10 of my favorite ways to try something new. This list is meant to be a starting point. Please edit, add to, and curate a list that is meaningful to you and your family.

    1. Take a class or course. Study anything you’re interested in from languages, to business skills, to gardening, and so on. You can enroll for in-person classes or explore a wide range of online offerings.
    2. Find a mentor. Find leaders who you feel inspired by. No matter what goals you have, support is crucial. A teacher or a coach you see regularly can be a mentor. Likewise, a writer or influencer whose work you follow can be a mentor.
    3. Read something new. Read a new genre, set a goal for how many books you’d like to read per month/year, or commit to a new series, the Sunday newspaper, or a magazine.
    4. Create something! Express yourself creatively in a new way. Mediums to consider include painting, drawing, speech-writing, photography, writing, and knitting. How else do you like to create?!
    5. Participate in your community. Show up for your neighborhood, city, and the world. For example, you can volunteer, participate on committees, block walk for campaigns, or attend school board meetings.
    6. Find a new way to move your body. Do something that feels new and supportive to your body. Maybe you try a new dance or exercise class or morning walks.
    7. Connect with nature. Explore new ways of being in and with the natural world. Try camping, hiking, or picnicking in new spaces. How else can you bring nature into your life? Or your life into nature?
    8. Travel. Visit places near or far that you have never been. Take a day trip, a road trip, or a long-distance flight to see something you’ve never seen before. 
    9. Eat new foods. Dine at new restaurants, explore new recipes, or study cuisines you are less familiar with. Enjoy new flavors and notice the ways different foods nourish you.  
    10. Make new connections. Whatever you decide to try in 2019, know that you will have the opportunity to connect with many new people. Enjoy the process of learning about others (and yourself in the process).

I wish you all a happy reNEWing, and wonderful year ahead. This article is meant to support you, as a parent of caregiver, in growing and learning in the coming months. The bonus: each idea and tool can be shared with your children and teens. You and your family can take on new challenges together in 2019! If you are looking for support– or coaching is a new opportunity you’d like to try– I invite you to connect on a complimentary Discovery Call.

The Multicultural Guide To Your Advent Calendar

The Multicultural Guide To Your Advent Calendar

by with 13 Comments CraftsEducationfestivals

The origin of the Advent Calendar can be traced back to the 19th. Century. The first styles came from the German protestant area where religious families made a chalk line for every day in December until Christmas Eve. The first known Advent Calendar which was made by handwork is from the year 1851. Since then, this Christian tradition has been part of the Holidays repertoire of many families around the world. Family member and friends look for the perfect Advent Calendar to begin the holidays celebrations. 

This calendar come in a multitude of forms, from a simple paper calendar with flaps covering each of the days to fabric pockets on a background scene to painted wooden boxes with cubby holes for small items. Many families craft their Advent Calendars themselves, making of this process a great opportunity to kick off the Christmas season. There are so many wonderful ideas out there to create the perfect calendar for your family. Chocolates, candy, fudge, small toys, pocket books and many other items are suitable to keep children excited about opening their calendar every day. 

How to nurture children’s curiosity and raise global awareness during the Holidays season?

A multicultural Advent Calendar is the answer! 

Each day of this years advent my family and I are concentrating in being present, giving our time and attention as a gift, and learning more about holiday traditions around the world. These are some of the ideas that have made our Multicultural Advent Calendar possible. Remember to include some nick-knacks from your country of origin to learn more about your own heritage. Cultural awareness begins with the recognition and appreciation of one’s culture. 

  1. Time to visit your local ethnic market. 

From food to pottery, ethnic stores are a great place to introduce your children to another culture. It is a tiny appetizer to the knowledge of fruits, vegetables, tea, coffee, sweets, pastries, and even clothing from other countries. Depending on the age of your children, you can simply buy a traditional sweet as a gift for some of the days of the Advent Calendar, or you can gift the excitement of a new adventure. How? Write a note that the kids will unwrap to discover that they have been invited to explore a new supermarket with many things from far away lands. You can even include a small allowance for them to spend there. 

2. Sweets and Storytelling go together.

Enclosed your child’s favorite chocolate and a note inviting him to spend time on the sofa with mom and dad listening to a fun Christmas story. We have many books that we have collected over the years about Christmas around the world. Children love to hear what people from other countries eat on Chistmas Eve, or what present kids receive in other cultures. Keep it fun! 

3. Spending time together is always fun.

In any language, in any culture, the need for interaction is key element of happiness. The Holidays season is a great opportunity to give ourselves to others and experience the positive rush of thinking of others and helping the community. Including some “days” in your Advent Calendar designated to spending time together as a family is always fun and cheap (for those like us that are always on a budget). My daughter loves rubbers (erasers), so for her we packed tiny unicorn erasers along with a note (pink paper of course) that says “hot cocoa time with mom”. On that day, I turn off my mobile phone, set the iPad aside, and make delicious hot chocolate to be drunk with my princess, just the two of us, chatting and enjoying the warmth of our decorated living room. 

4. Treasure hunt meets Christmas season.

Treat your children to clues that will lead to a wonderful prize! Maybe a weekend getaway or a visit to a museum to learn more about your local culture. Kids will be for sure excited about going on a trip with mom and dad, and parents can make of this trip the perfect opportunity to explore their own traditions. Make an effort to prepare beforehand for the event. Reading about the place to be visited is always a good idea, that way children can reinforce hands-on what they have learned at home. Remember that if traveling is beyond the means of your family’s budget, you can try the next big thing: find a movie that will anchor your adventure. A film about other culture is a nice foundation for further knowledge. 

5. Teach you child the “saving & sharing” lesson. 

Saving is a skill that must be learned from a young age. Depositing a special Advent “bonus” into your child’s account is an exciting way to nurture the love for saving. Therefore, prepare an Advent day where kids unwrap a chocolate and a note that says that money has been added to their savings account. Do you want to take this gift one step further? Encourage your children to look for a charitable cause to donate part of their bonus to help those in need. There are a huge number of websites with information about charity institutions around the world. Help your children to choose one and then learn more about that country.

In conclusion, it is important that your family enjoys the Advent time and learn about diverse Christmas traditions. However, let’s not forget that despite the pervasiveness of Christmas, it is critical that any globally minded person not assume that everyone celebrates it. Be open to diversity and enjoy different cultures and “Christmasses”. 

Have a wonderful Advent time! For more such stories from me, visit Little Nomads.

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

by with 7 Comments EducationVoices

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

Every subject in school cannot be a favorite. I used to enjoy Social Science and Biology in school. Particularly, learning about the geographical demographics of a place, maps, climates, old civilizations, etc. Perhaps, this is why I signed up for classes in Anthropology, Human Behaviors and Astronomy at University. They were such fun, interesting and interactive classes. Apart for Art, learning about different cultures fascinated me. Learning about human psychological behaviors intrigued me. But I totally detested Math in school, I think I still do!

At different stages of school, I aspired to be a Social Sciences teacher, a criminal lawyer, an archaeologist, a fashion designer, a graphic designer. To think of it now, I was always role-playing in my mind and learning a new subject enthusiastically.

There was a time I was so intrigued by space (Oh I still am) that I wanted to be an astronaut. But going away from family sounded a bit too hard so I thought of being an astronomer. Unfortunately, it would require a lot of Math, and Math was never my best friend.

The only time I enjoyed learning Math was at University because the level of Math in American universities is equivalent to primary and elementary school Math of the Indian system. I got perfect scores in Math at university because I was great at Venn diagrams and pie-charts (no, seriously!) Today, as adults we know that trigonometry and algebra formulas are not going to help get a job, pay the rent, find a spouse or for that matter even catch a mouse!

On the other hand, my daughter enjoys learning Science and loves to solve Math problems. But she isn’t too fond of the Social Sciences. Sometimes I wonder how is that possible? Then I remind myself that she isn’t me and I’m not her. She is an extension of me but an individual in herself. She has the right to choose what she likes and develop her interests based on her own choices.

Making Learning Fun

So I try to make the ‘non-favorite’ subjects fun for here and try to teach her through story-telling, visuals and real-life examples. I tell her to relate what she learns, to what she has seen or experienced.

For instance, once she was confused when she was learning about ‘Terrestrial Plants’ growing in different regions. So I told her to remember the pine cones and coniferous trees she saw in Chicago (cold/hilly region), to think of the banyan and mango trees she plays around at the park in Mumbai (plains), to think of the rubber and coconut trees in the backyard of our house in Florida (hot and damp region), and not to forget the date palms and cactus that she sees here in Kuwait (desert region).

The next time she was learning about ‘Aquatic Plants’, she told me that floating plants are like duckweed that we saw in Bali, fixed plants are like the lotus we saw in Sri Lanka and underwater plants are like the plants we saw when we went snorkeling at Peanut Island in Florida. Instantly, I knew that she was learning and not just memorizing. She was reasoning and coming up with answers for herself.

Personally, I think this kind of learning is a bigger achievement than just getting good grades or a perfect score on a test. Integrating learning with experiences and memories will definitely help retain the information longer or forever.

Memorizing without understanding, and studying without the desire of learning will always make learning seem like a task. We must always reiterate to our kids that they should study to learn, and not just to remember until the next test or exam.

We should teach our children that learning is a journey and not a computerized input-output process. With so many living robots all around, we need to strive hard to nurture the human mind and heart, so that this world will be a better place for them to live in. A deeper understanding of what we learn will also help us become more compassionate towards each other and our environment.

Today, I enjoy the process of learning new things even more. One of the reasons why learning is still fun is probably because my parents never forced their aspirations on me or steered me in a way that didn’t interest me. I am indeed grateful to them for letting me make my educational and personal decisions.

The Progression of Learning

As life progresses and our thought process changes (or we get wiser), our interests change too. Currently, Nutritional Science and Religion interests me. A few years later, it may well be something else. So we must remember that learning is not limited to schools, universities and institutions. Learning can take place anywhere and anytime. Just like evolution, learning is an ongoing process so we might as well make it fun for our children and ourselves.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

 These are such powerful words that capture the true essence of learning. We must remember that the best part about learning is that the knowledge we acquire solely belongs to us and no one can take it away.

Why We Need to Stop Whining About Motherhood

Why We Need to Stop Whining About Motherhood

by with 9 Comments MindsetVoices

Parenting life can get very overwhelming. In Indian mythology, Goddesses have many forms. Many idols are created with many hands. Maybe, just maybe it has something to do with the many, many roles we play as a mother. The overwhelm that comes with it was life changing. And I see it every single day. Mothers constantly stressing, lamenting to each other about how difficult and hectic their life is.

I understand venting about your day, but when we see it happen incessantly in the way in which most mothers today seem to do it, it speaks towards the building of a negative mindset and the fact that almost everyone is going through difficult times. And our empathy for others seem to be eroding as we drown in ponds of pity for ourselves.

The Many Roles We Play as Parents

I was cleaning my daughter’s nose with saline solution. My son came, gazed intently at his sister and mumbled, ”Who are you?” I was too busy trying to do what I was doing without further traumatizing a wailing child. After I was done, my son came and put a hand on my shoulder (with sympathy almost) and asked again, ”Who are you?”

I laughed out loud. ” You don’t know who I am. I’m your Mama right ? ” He shook his head and persisted with the question, further elaborating, ” Who are you? Are you a Doctor? ” Ah ! Cleaning his sister’s nose giving her much needed relief during her cold and fever made him wonder. I of course found it amusing and affirmed. ” Yes, I’m doctor. I help you also when you get boo boo.” He smiled and said, ”You are a good doctor.”

Next time the question arose when I was trying to teach him the written letter. ”Who are you? Are you a teacher?” And so on it went.

Random comment would pass while I was doing generic stuff.

”Who are you? Are you a pilot ? ” , when I drove the car.

”Who are you? Are you a helper?” , when I helped him tie his shoes.

”Who are you? Are you a worker? “, when I’m finding something on the laptop.

My son, who was 3.5 at the time, recognized the simple fact that as a mom I play many roles at the same time. Doctor, driver, helper, researcher, nurse, teacher and much more. The moment made me introspect about how my children perceive me. Apparently, this person who multitasks constantly.

Not to mention the amount of managing we do to keep up with chores, food, appointments, social commitments while at the same time herding around a family of four to wherever we need to be at the exact time we need to be. Time management, team work, keeping up with information, being organized are all traits every mother imbibes, not to mention being there for everyone as much as I can emotionally and physically. Add to this working on my freelancing career and passion project, which are 24/7 in itself, life can certainly get overwhelming.

And that’s just in the beginning. A parent eventually plays the role of friend, teacher, preacher, judge, jury, confidante, and sibling also in many cases. To constantly use every teaching moment, parent them when needed, hand out consequences, keep their secrets and fill the void whenever they need us. Let’s not forget all the party planning that is involved during the festive season and when birthdays come around.

Stop the Overwhelm with This Mindset

I don’t write this just to glorify parents but to take remind every parent to take a few moments each day or week to sit back and take stock of all the work that you do. Appreciate all the roles that you play and how they help YOU evolve as a person constantly.

We can often catch ourselves cribbing about how hard parenting is and how we wish we could relax. Specially during the holiday seasons. We need to remember, every person on the planet is overwhelmed with some aspect of their life. Most importantly, the attitude of complaining sets a negative example for those who look towards us for how to look at life’s challenges. The health hazards of having a stressed outlook cannot be emphasized enough either. What we need to do is counter the overwhelm before the onset proactively.

Self care is a big part of avoiding the frustrations that come with parenting. But equally so is the need for us to look at it as a blessing. Being a parent is not just taking care of a child, but being many things so that you can together as a family grow and learn the multitude skills required to live a fulfilling life.

It is this very exhausting and overwhelming life full of worries that helps us appreciate all that our life has to offer. It forces us to take a hard look at our lifestyle choices and be aware of what it is we need to do to be better role models. Our children teach us life lessons each day and force us to introspect over our words and actions.

Gratitude for what you have and all that you are able to do has a wonderful way of making your parenting outlook more positive.

Why We Need to Stop Whing about Motherhood #parenting #motherhood

Why I Let My Kids Play Fortnite

Why I Let My Kids Play Fortnite

by with 5 Comments ContemporaryVoices

One fine day, a boy was watching a YouTube video and his mom peeped. A dance competition among the family members caught her eyes. It looked so fun and such a great way to connect and bond among the family members that she asked her son what program  that was and eventually requested him to play the game in order to achieve the different dance steps.

What?!? A mom asking her son to play games?

I know you feel like throwing eggs and start judging how ignorant this mom is that mom is ME. Guess what game was that? It was Fortnite. Want to throw eggs at me, right? Well, before you do that. Let me tell you something.

I understand that many parents hate video games. The first thing that comes to your mind is of no learning values and there are many news about how those games can have negative effects on the children.

Parents fear that the children will get addicted and dropped everything else that they are supposed to do. Parents fear that they will have a problem managing their child.

I am a parent and I was a gamer too. I understand how addictive video gaming is and what kind of influence it may have on a person, which is why I allow my child to play. Many parents look at gaming as a bad influence but there is a good side of it as well and I’m making use of that good side to parent my gaming child.

I have already listed out the bad sides and I don’t think I need to list out more because I bet you can list out more than I do. I am going to show you the good side of it. You may think, “Hang on! Are you sure there are any good sides of it?” Well now, listen to me here before you start judging.

Do you ever play games?

If you do, then why are you stopping your child from playing it?

Do you know that games are not just plain playing?

They do need to find out strategies to get to next level. It requires them to do problem solving (critical thinking) and build their confidence and determination to reach to the next level or reach their goals.

On top of that it improves their motor-skills, creativity and is a form of stress-relief for them too.

Yes, some gaming scene can be rather violent and parents worried this can be detrimental to their development. But if you don’t expose them what violence is about, how would they know what it is.

Video gaming requires loads of parenting guidance to be frank. It requires a balancing work between the parent and the child.

How do I Manage the Balance ?

We have house rules set:

  1. We only to play during weekends and there is always time limit set for each game. Usually 1 hour per game. Extra time will be given if their conduct is good.
  2. They have to be responsible for their own time-table. During or near exam periods, they know that they have to cut down their game time and focus on their revision first.
  3. They know that whatever applies to the game is just for the game and not in real life. What I mean here is, the violence they see in the game, the vulgar language that they hear in the game is only for the game. They do not apply this in real life.
  4. Before any game, they need to make sure they have finished what they are supposed to do. E.g. Household chores, homework, revision, etc.

House rules should not be overlooked and is important when you allowing your child to do something and you need a limit to it. By the way, our weekends are not all spent on staying home and video gaming. We do head outdoors very often for nature walking or sports. We have loads of playdates and family gatherings as well where everyone will interact and play together not gather to sit at your own space and started looking at your own device. I know these happens to many people.

Balance is really the key and parenting guidance is important. Both my husband and I do discuss about the games together with our children and we play together with them as well.

All parents want the best of their children, so get alongside with them so that they feel that we are part of their world as well and they feel more welcomed then feeling that parents are always against them. This way, they are more open to you and you get to know them way much better than worrying too much about the “what-ifs” and struggling with the power of parenting.

  I am Lup Wai, a Parent Whisperer who helps families to transform their relationship with their children while injecting fun into it so that they can develop a nurturing, healthy and happy connection. Being a parent is so much more about just feeding and clothing a child. I help families to bring back the fun and build a long last relationship with your child which is crucial for a healthy and happy home. Your can follow me on Instagram here. 

Why I Let My Kids Play Fortnite | Parenting | Fortnite

 

The "Gift" of Being Special

The “Gift” of Being Special

by with 6 Comments MindsetVoices

Oh! Why you?
You can’t do this..
Dear, you are not the one for the task
Please, leave ,you are not the gifted one !!

Gifted one!!
I mean
Who can judge
Whether you are gifted or not??

It’s just the perceptional thought to push the person back to his den..
Taking shelter of the ‘gifted’ word
Some people take their lethargy to a superior position.
And some people gets a chance to pull you down.

Really ! It happens !!
Contrarily, your hard-work can make you ‘gifted’
May be you might become the ‘gifted one’
That you had desired all through your lives…

Running away from labor,
Becoming a staunch believer
Of so called ‘destiny’
Never really helps!!

What helps in every situation
Is just the belief–
Things don’t happen on their own
You have to make them happen..

The choice is yours
Become the gifted one by your own choice
Or
Remain the ordinary one glancing other ‘gifted ones’..
There’s no substitute for hardwork

There’s no shortcut to your desired goals
Nobody can stop you if you dare to win.
The sooner you understand
The better it is for you
And the more benefit you get

The more happy you will be
Simultaneously, the more ‘gifted’
You’ll be called.
Believe in yourself!

The world will believe in you !!

I Never Thought I Would Get Preclampsia And Then I Did

I Never Thought I Would Get Preclampsia And Then I Did

by with 10 Comments ParentingVoices

When I got pregnant with my fourth child, I had no idea that preeclampsia was a risk. I had no history of it, my family had no history of it. Other than some blood pressure spikes, likely caused by stress, in my second and third pregnancies, I’ve never had high blood pressure.

All of my pregnancies have been low-risk (although due to age and my husband’s family history of cardiovascular health, my last three were classified as high-risk until the 20 week scans showed that all was well.)

The easiest pregnancy ever…

When I got pregnant with Ladybug, I kept forgetting I was pregnant. This was welcome, because with my boys, I had horrible sciatica, and with my year old, I had terrible morning sickness for the entire pregnancy. I also suffered from paralyzing anxiety and depression while pregnant. In fact, with Ladybug I didn’t even have the debilitating fatigue I’d had with my 2 year old. I felt energetic, happy, and pretty amazing, well into the pregnancy. I even was losing weight while pregnant due to healthy eating and being able to continue being active.

Then, things changed.

I got a nasty version of the flu, and it turned into pneumonia. I was really sick. I was probably hospital sick, but I’m stubborn. When I saw my OBGYN, she was a bit taken aback that I hadn’t gone to the hospital. Her words, “If you think you might need to go to the hospital, Ronda, you should pro

My oldest and I, after his theater awards ceremony, a week before I was induced.

bably go to the hospital.” I was due in late May, I got sick in mid-March.

I didn’t really recover. I continued to feel awful. Each appointment, I was suddenly putting on a lot of weight. I wasn’t thin by any means, but I’d made it down to 275 when I got sick. When I was induced, about 6 weeks later, I was up to 354lbs. We’ll get to the induction in a minute.

I had no energy. I constantly felt zapped. It was still really hard to breathe. Just walking from the couch to fridge, about 20 feet, would wind me. I couldn’t keep up with my other kids. I skipped out on some of my oldest’s events, because I had no energy. I sent his grandparents instead to take photos. Then, one morning, I woke up, and I was really swollen. When I say really swollen, I mean, really really swollen. I felt horrible. I had an appointment with my OBGYN that afternoon.

The fight for a diagnosis

I had no history of preeclampsia. My OBGYN wasn’t even collecting urine samples, because she was that confident that it wasn’t an issue. That day, I actually wound up not seeing my OBGYN, but her nurse practitioner. She saw me, and asked if I’d been eating a lot of salt. “No.” She took my blood pressure. It was 135/84, extremely high for me, but still within the range they considered normal. I pushed the issue.

The swelling wasn’t going down with rest. It wasn’t going down with putting my feet up. I’d gained a lot of weight over the past 5 weeks, and I felt terrible. I was out of breath. No, it wasn’t just baby pushing on my lungs. It was different from other pregnancies. Something just didn’t feel right. So, she agreed to check my urine. She told me if I didn’t hear anything, that I was fine. That was a Thursday.

The long weekend

I kept feeling worse. I was supposed to go see my oldest’s awards ceremony. I had no idea he was receiving any awards, so I sent my in-laws instead.  He was due to graduate high school in a few days. I kept checking the portal to see if my lab results had come back. I hadn’t heard anything.

At my oldest’s graduation with my husband and youngest son.

I went shopping with my husband to prepare for my son’s graduation party and for my sister to come into town to visit and see the graduation. I kept feeling worse. It felt like I was getting the flu all over again, and my face and hands were now swollen. I knew something was wrong. I was feeling extremely emotional over it. But, I hadn’t heard back, and the results showed they were in (I just couldn’t view them), so I figured everything was fine and I was just coming down with a fresh bout of crud.

Monday and Graduation

Monday, 20 minutes before my OBGYN’s office was to close, I got the call. “You had protein in your urine. Come into the clinic, and we’ll do a blood draw.” By the time I got the message and called back, they were packing up and told me to come in, first thing in the morning. I was scared. I had a friend who’d had preeclampsia, so I knew it wasn’t good. I showed up in the morning, the morning my oldest was going to be graduating. I was terrified I wouldn’t get to see him graduate. I was feeling icky by then, and had seen a flash of light while showering. They took my blood pressure. It was 150/93. My OBGYN wanted me to go in right away to be induced.

I asked whether it would be safe to see my kiddo graduate.

I then went through a bunch of tests to make sure Ladybug was okay. Once my OBGYN was convinced that baby was safe, she told me to go home, rest, and head to the hospital either if I had a headache or right after graduation got out. I played it down, though, as I didn’t want anyone worrying about me.

The induction

The headache started in the middle of graduation. By the time I got out, and we got to the hospital, I was feeling terrible. The induction began. It was rough. I wasn’t allowed to move around, I was asked to stay on my back by the nurse. I was in tears. Laying on my back, pregnant, at 354 lbs was excruciating. My blood pressure was 210/105. I promised myself that if I made it through the induction and birth process that I would do everything I could to begin running again.

I was happy when my nurse changed and the new nurse let me guide her. I opted for no pain medication. I bounced on an exercise ball. I made my sister, who came thinking she’d see a graduation and wound up also seeing a birth, and my husband laugh. I stayed calm. My blood pressure returned to almost normal. 19 hours later, Ladybug was in my arms. I’d had the worst headache the entire labor, but it dissipated after food. At 36 weeks, my gal didn’t need any NICU time, and she was born at 6lbs 10oz and 19.5 inches long, making her the smallest of all my children.

Ladybug is a healthy 16 month old

The aftermath

Everything returned to normal after birth. I was healthy, Ladybug was healthy. She’s now a very healthy 16 month old. It was probably pretty stupid of me to go to graduation knowing what a risk it was, but seeing my big kid graduate was something I just really needed to do. He’d worked so hard during high school. I was discharged a day after Ladybug was born (I’ve since learned that this is not typical in cases where preeclampsia was a factor). Not long after returning home, I went through a terrible bout with anxiety and depression from the trauma of really processing it all. I went through physical therapy, and yes, I’ve started running again. I have my first half marathon later this month.

What you need to know about preeclampsia

While preeclampsia is most common in first pregnancies or first pregnancies with a new partner and subsequent pregnancies where there’s a history of it, it can happen in subsequent pregnancies where there is no history of its occurance. My pregnancy with Ladybug was actually my fifth, as my second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks gestation. I had no history of high blood pressure or complications with pregnancy. Here are some of the risk factors, though an actual cause isn’t known. It is known that having pneumonia or the flu while pregnant greatly increases the risk of occurrence:

  •  Age – being older when pregnant can increase risk (I was 39).
  •  Obesity – I was overweight
  • Nutritional deficiencies – I was still breastfeeding my younger son for half of the pregnancy; I consistently forgot to take my prenatal vitamin
  • Pre-existing conditions – things like diabetes, thyroid disorders, lupus, etc can increase one’s risk
  • Genetics – there seems to be a hereditary component.
  • Other things that go wrong – here’s a list from the Preeclampsia Foundation on other things that can contribute to the risk.

Symptoms:

  • No symptoms, there is just no symptom that presents because many people don’t feel their blood pressure increasing. I did, because my blood pressure is normally around 95/65, so I was pretty uncomfortable.
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Proteinuria – Make sure you get your urine checked at every appointment. They could have caught this earlier in me, had we not gotten complacent.
  • Swelling
  • Headache
  • Nausea or Vomiting
  • Abdominal or shoulder pain
  • Lower back pain
  • Sudden weight gain
  • Changes in vision
  • Hyperreflexia (when your reflexes are extraordinarily strong)
  • Shortness of breath & anxiety

If you are more than 20 weeks pregnant, and you have any of these symptoms, it’s best to bring it up with your healthcare provider ASAP. It could be nothing, but it could be something. Preeclampsia can be deadly for both mother and fetus if left untreated. If you have severe swelling, vision changes, and a headache, don’t waste time – head into the labor and delivery department.

The Loneliness Parents Don't Talk About

The Loneliness Parents Don’t Talk About

by with 10 Comments EmpowermentParentingStay at HomeVoices

Parenting is a paradox. You are constantly surrounded by people and yet, extremely alone in the challenges you face. And No one talks about how isolating the solitude is and how utterly dark it can get within.

I lived 5 years by myself before being married. Had many meals, enjoyed movies, trips to the market, holed up in my room reading happily. I have always known how to be by myself. But being lonely within a family is an alternate reality.

And yet you do not see anyone discussing how lonely being a parent can become. You may know yourself before but after having kids you sometimes slowly lose the connections you had and sometimes yourself as well.

Before having kids, you are flitting around parties, going out whenever you want and having friends over at the drop of a hat. After the babies are born, the most well meaning friends stay away so as to give you space to adjust, so much so that the phone stops ringing.

The babies keep you on your toes and the words, “needs to be fed” and “needs a nap” have you rushing home. As they grow up, their random tantrums and exhausted crying have you wishing you had just stayed home.

Your friends who do not have children do not understand the urgency created by a restless child (on the verge of a tantrum). Friends who are not drama free are distanced from without conscious thought because you honestly do not have anything left to give to them. After all, your time is already consumed by kids’ tantrums.

The few couples who do have children may be ones with whom your kids just don’t get along with and even if they do, it may happen that your parenting philosophies don’t match. In the end, you end up with little to no friends with whom you can relax. Slowly, as the kids grow up you realize school, classes, birthday parties and chores leave you with no actual time in which to socialize.

The Isolation of Parenting

It eats at you, this slow isolation that happened without you actually being aware. Humans are a social group. We need connections in order to thrive and in fact survive. Social media does not help as you see the best moments of other families enjoying their apple picking and parties. You do not realize it is not real life but a reel life that you see on screen. Everyone goes through the same pains but do not care to reach out during them instead only coming to you with their joys.

Social media is no help for it only makes you feel, how others are managing the same milestones so much better. Here you are wallowing alone on weekends and others seem to be partying through parenthood.

You grow cranky and exhausted without those few precious moments with people with whom you just laugh and be carefree. And if, within that time your spouse has to travel for work, you end up being completely isolated without any adult conversation and no one to express your frustrations to.

All of the above happened to me. To top it all, all my acquaintances and one of my best friends moved away. There was a period of 6 months when I literally scrabbled to understand what it was that I was going through. I grew listless, irritable, going through the motions, developing aches and pains that I couldn’t justify.

What was worse was, I started pushing away the couple of friends I did have left. I started stalking them on social media, obsessing over who was doing what, and whey they weren’t doing it with me. Why they hadn’t commented on my photos, why I wasn’t invited to one party but not the other , etc. I had the time in which to create a pity party in which I was Chief Guest.

One day I realized I was just ruining my own peace of mine. This wasn’t who I wanted to be. I needed to channel my energies positively and find outlets for myself. Empower myself to be a better mom and person. No one but me that could get me out of this hole I had dug up.

What did I do? Well, I pushed all the below up a notch. These are tips I think would help you too.

Celebrate Everything

Even if it’s a small win. Or a celebration no one else cares about. Light some candles, make a dinner. Have an impromptu party with the kids. Do not ever let your kids be affected by what you are going through. Teach them the importance of living life to the fullest.

I believe in enjoying life to the fullest now. Celebrating Valentines day my way, even if my husband doesn’t want to plan anything on this commercial holiday.

Find A Mission

I joined a non profit called Circle of Peace International, and worked with them using all the social media knowledge I had to help spread the word about them.

There are many non profits out there that need people to give a helping hand. Find a cause to support. Use your talents in any small way to be there for those less fortunate. Even if it is just making cards or ornaments for the festive season, doing something for another less fortunate helps not only them but is good for your soul.

Take Care of Your Body

Walks and runs are good for exercise but more than that the fresh air, open spaces and silence is good for your soul. Going to the spa is not just a matter of luxury but your body being pampered reaches out to your mind to soothe it. If you cannot afford the spa, use at home remedies to invigorate your senses.

Give yourself nurturing time. Dress up and go to town for no reason other than you want to look pretty for yourself.

Get a Baby Sitter

This is an issue most Indian families face who are not used to hiring baby sitters, specially when living in USA far from family they trust.

I cannot stress this enough. If you have no family or friends to assist, find a baby sitter in your community that you can trust with your children for even a few hours. Or better yet, let your husband take over. Yes! He’s not a baby sitter but the father. But let’s face is. Not most dads are hands on all the time and this time alone with the kids is a great way to get to know the kids uniquely.

Get out of the house by yourself, go shopping, read a book or if possible catch up with an old friend.

Pursue an Interest

My biggest solution was nurturing my passion for writing and creating.

You need to have a passion to feed your inner self. Writing, gardening, painting, find something that helps you grow. Creating something other than your children’s schedule for the day is extremely essential.  Me time in which you are not watching TV  or reading a book but putting something out there. Using your body and mind to create

Find Your Tribe Again

Reach out to your old friends. Make new ones. Many a times for no reason people just grow apart. Even if they do not have kids, even if your children do not get along, do not let it affect your relationships. Talk to the person at the park.  Converse with others, learning what their life is about.

Everyone needs someone, and maybe by reaching out for a coffee or a drink that someone could be you being there for them. Be the first one to be a friend. Be for someone, what you need in your own life.

Disconnect

Step away from the social media apps. Switch off the TV. Dare yourself to not log into the accounts on certain days or hours of a day. The silence virtual and real, will force you to think up ways to occupy your time more productively.

Let’s face it. A lot of anything does more harm than good.

Meditate

Take a few moments to empty your mind of all the schedules and multi tasking clutter and empty it to let thoughts in. As we need air to breathe, we need our senses to be able to feel every single moment in it’s totality, something we rarely do in the daily grind that is life.

Be Your Own Friend

I realized I had become dependent on having a friend to be with when I was not with the kids. I needed to grow myself in a way that I could to appreciate. While being with my kids watching them play is amazing, having them with me had become a crutch that I needed subconsciously. Going out means going out for grocery or to run errands. Don’t just do that. Go out to do something that you love that is not connected with children. Spend time with yourself and the experience the world as it was meant to be.

Most importantly, do not feel you are ever alone. You just need to reach out, physically or metaphorically. And the universe will take care of the rest. Give yourself a chance to love yourself.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”. Her own book Strong Roots Have No Fear comes out soon.

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

by with 5 Comments MindsetParentingSocial MediaVoices

Competitive momming is a problem, a big problem. It feels as though we’ve lost our villages, especially when everyone on social media seems to be playing the one-upsmanship game.The thing is, competitive parenting isn’t new, it’s just that we see it a lot more.

Feeling as though life is a competition can lead to some pretty bad problems with depression, especially for new moms.  Here are some ways to deal with it when it comes up – whether in person or online.

Ask yourself if the person is actually trying to compete.

Sometimes, what we take as competition really isn’t. A mom may be socially awkward and may be trying to relate to you. Others may be trying to share something that they’re excited about, but it’s not translating that way on social media, or the delivery is off.

Sometimes, too, when we feel someone’s trying to compete, it’s really more about ourselves. We might feel that we’re lacking in some way or another and misread the intent as snarky. It’s important to try to see through what’s being said to what’s being intended.

Ask yourself why the person might be trying to compete

Might the individual in question be experiencing feelings of self-consciousness or guilt him or herself? This can cause people to be more competitive than they ordinarily would be. For example, a mom who is feeling guilty about having her child in day care because her family is trying to shame her for working or who is self-conscious because she’s a stay-at-home mom and getting flack about not working may come off as more snarky than she intends to if she’s put on the defensive.

If you feel that the person may be acting in a competitive way from a place of vulnerability, validate his or her claim, then complement the person on something that she’s doing well.

Don’t feed the troll

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a parent is one-upping others or maybe you. Joey did great on his spelling test, so Debbie feels the need to comment that her Chandler got skipped a grade ahead, and Alison states that her Gina is homeschooled and working at an 8th grade level at age 7.

Don’t give into the impulse to pile on. Yes, maybe Alex just got another belt level in karate, but does it need to be said? Instead, go back to the original focus, Joey, and tell his mom to congratulate him on the good work he’s done.

The pile of stuff competition

I see this every holiday season, and it’s something that personally makes me nuts. A parent either posts about not giving kids a bunch of toys, or sticking to 4 gifts, or posts a photo of an overstuffed Easter basket or overflowing Christmas tree. People pile onto the original poster and attempt to shame the person into doing things their way.

No matter how bad you might want to, don’t add to it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extreme giver or a four gifter or you do no gifts at all but experiences and others do differently. What does matter is that what your tradition is makes you and your family happy.

Watch your own urge to compete

It’s natural to want to show off your child, but remember, your child’s achievements belong to him or her, not you. It’s one thing to share those achievements, it’s another to brag about them.

Before you comment on someone else’s post or announcement with a competitive bend, ask yourself if you’re really adding something to the conversation. It may be better to instead congratulate the person and save your own announcement for another time.

What have you done to reduce competition?

What actions have you used to reduce competition when you’ve seen it? Have you found something that works well to de-escalate the situation? Share in the comments.

When did Parenting Become a Competitive Sport? Parenting Competition needs to be avoided

  Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parRonda Bowen Raising World Children – Where Cultures Meet Parentingenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.

Unstructured Play : Let Kids Unwind Organically

Unstructured Play : Let Kids Unwind Organically

by with 10 Comments ContemporaryParentingVoices

School until 3:00pm.  Soccer at 3:30 pm.  Dance at 6:30 pm.  Quick dinner and homework until 9:30 pm.  Bedtime. Repeat.  Over and over again.  Check with almost any parent today, and they can recite a litany of their child’s structured activities, all designed to enrich the childhood experience.  And it does.  But there’s something else to consider.  Time to play.  Not just any play.

Unstructured-use-your-imagination-play.

Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday.

Raising World Children Hard Work

Come with me for a moment, and take a look at something I don’t see as much as I once did.  Kids playing outside.  Not in the community soccer club.  Not at a t-ball game.  Not at a swim meet.  Just playing outside, on the sidewalk, with other neighborhood children.

Small communities where everyone knows everyone have an advantage here.  It’s highly likely if your child is doing something amazing, one of the neighborhood parents will be there to cheer her on.  It’s also likely if your child is about to try something dangerous, that same parent is probably there to add a word of caution.

Unstructured play has a name now, but it used to be an everyday occurrence.  

[bctt tweet=”Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday. Allow them to unwind organically.” username=”contactrwc”]

Letting Go is Hard But Important

Raise your hand if you remember your mom telling you to “just go out and play.”  It wasn’t something anyone planned, or managed.  It just was.  And it still can be.

As parents, our job is to provide a safe, welcoming space.

The hard part is stepping back and allowing the kids to entertain themselves, to be bored sometimes, to use their imaginations to create something we never would consider.

Although my son had plenty of traditional toys when he was younger, his toy of choice was an old boat rope.  Long enough to throw up over a tree branch, he could hold both ends and swing over imaginary dangers.  Arranged on the driveway, he could create a course for his bike.  With two friends, they could limbo underneath it.  They could tie it to a bucket and pull snacks up to the tree house.

The possibilities were endless.

Raising World Children Park

The local town park is a happening place.  At first glance, there appear to be two brightly colored plastic and metal swinging, climbing, hiding structures.  Not so, if you’re of a certain age.  One is a castle, defending against a pirate ship.  All hands are on deck.  A princess calls from the castle ramparts, requesting help to save her home.

Perspective is an essential part of unstructured play.

Buckets of sidewalk chalk sit by many of the front doors in a small town.  At one house, the neighbors have used chalk to craft a “welcome home” mural.  There’s a hopscotch board drawn in the street.  All the basketball hoops face out, next to driveways, inviting any and all to play.

Ears perk up when someone yells, “Car!”  Everyone scatters to the curb and waves the car through, greeting the driver and smiling before the play resumes.

Unstructured play, by its definition, doesn’t have a to-do list.  It’s a time to unplug, allow the mind to wander and think, “what if…” and then try it.  If you can provide an environment and stop yourself from providing suggestions, you’ll be on the right track.  If you can make it through the sighs and grumblings of “there’s nothing to do,” you’re golden.

And then, the magic begins.  Go out and see for yourself.  Send your kids out to play.

Unstructured Play - Let Kids Unwind Organically www.raisingworldchildren.com #kids #play #cultures #studies #school #holidays​

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write