Pregnancy experience on a lunar eclipse

Being Pregnant In The Shadow Of a Lunar Eclipse

People’s excitement on viewing the solar eclipse that occurred on August 21, 2017, brought back my lunar eclipse experience.  Viewing an eclipse,  Solar or Lunar, total or partial, is no doubt an exciting event! Certainly, once in a lifetime experience. You have to be in the right place at the right time. But, in Indian culture, eclipses had certain superstitious beliefs. As a kid, talking and learning about eclipses were fascinating for me. But my parents restricted me from viewing the eclipse as it might be harmful to the eyes.

Mostly during an eclipse, I would stay at home with my working mom as schools would declare it as Holiday. Yet, sometimes I manage to sneak out and try viewing the eclipse. However, if it’s solar or lunar eclipse it always seems like an overcast day, perhaps a bit eerie, with the sun not shining as brightly.

Eclipse Rituals Followed in Indian Culture:

I wasn’t credulous enough to believe in the eclipse rituals knowing that eclipses are caused when these heavenly bodies, namely the sun, moon and the earth cross each other’s path. Nothing changed my perspective of not caring about the superstitions associated with the eclipse. Until I got pregnant!

 When I was 8 months pregnant on April 4,  2015, a Lunar eclipse occurred in India and the beginning of the eclipse was at 3.47 pm and it ended at 7.32 pm. I was supposed to adhere to lots of do’s and don’ts  during an eclipse as per my family’s advice. Even though I am aware that the stories and beliefs are myths, caring for a tiny human being inside me became cause for fear.

My pregnancy days made me weak. I decided not to look for explanations that question my baby’s safety. So my pregnancy brain worked in a way to believe the scary stories of viewing the eclipse.

My family’s rules for this day –

” Do not  cook or light a matchstick” – because the child would bear some burn scars.

“Don’t view the eclipse or step outside in the sun”- because if a woman steps out during an eclipse, her child will be born with marks all over his/her body.

“Do not  cut or stitch anything, not to hold a pen, keys or any sharp object in my hand!” – because chances are that the child will be born with a cleft lip.

“No reading or browsing” – because the child will be born with eye problems or eye deformity.

” No  eating or drinking anything” – because any food cooked or eaten while an eclipse happens will be poisonous and impure.

Finally, they decided it would be better if I stayed in a room, with the windows locked (covered with dark curtains).  I wondered how would I spend about 4 hours sitting idle inside a room without eating, drinking, reading, browsing etc. They suggested I should rest or sleep.

Sleep I did, but not too long especially when my family advised me only to sleep. It was the longest afternoon of my life. Fortunately, I had my child’s company who were listening to me from my womb. As the time approached the end of the lunar eclipse I was on a verge to break the door and get out. Finally, the lunar eclipse ended and the moon is out of the Earth’s shadow as am I out of my room. At last, I had to take a head shower and worship the God and I thank him for helping me to successfully complete the eclipse ritual. I felt relieved.

Putting my baby first:

I was not happy by playing dumb believing the myths but I remained satisfied for being a good mother.  My mother-in-law had no intention to stop me from seeing the eclipse other than caring for her grand kid’s well being and I respect her love. I chose to sleep over my logical-thinking out of love and respect for my baby and mother in law.

Ancient belief associated with Eclipse:

Later I tried to understand why these events were such a big deal to elders. Eclipses were considered to be an important event from ancient times. Especially people who worshiped the sun considered the eclipse as a negative force which plunges the earth into darkness.  In the middle of the day, the sun suddenly going dark is viewed as a bad omen. Which could be a frightening experience. I don’t want to be a quintessential rebel and judge my Elders’ belief. While science has given the perfect explanation for the natural phenomenon like Solar and Lunar eclipse, religion always chooses to lie in the domain of faith in the unknown rather than accepting the facts to usher in a change.

What was your experience on eclipse watching? Do you have any restrictions or family ritual to follow during an eclipse? Share your stories with me .

Raising World Children | Prega

 

Suja Dinesh Raising World childrenSindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.
Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility

Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility

I grew up in a conservative Indian family with strict rules around girls like being at home before 7:00 PM. I found my solace when I started working at the age of 18. Being the youngest one I was by nature a little rebellious compared to my siblings.

Getting a job made me far more confident and gave me the freedom that my young heart was craving for. I met my husband at work and knew immediately that only he can support my newly found wings.

We got married in 2007. My husband very well supported my free spirit, but he too belonged to a conservative Indian family. The expectations from a daughter in law were to wear a sari and taking care of the household.

It took me several years to make my in laws understand that respecting them was far more important than the attire I wore. Don’t get me wrong! Out of respect, I still do wear conservative Indian clothing in their presence and take care of the entire household when at my in laws visit. But I kept my out of house life separate from the life I lived within.

Expectations Of Motherhood

My in laws often pushed me to have kids but for me the time wasn’t right until I felt it was right.

Years passed by in this fashion, with time I found myself engaged in other responsibilities. My father was diagnosed with cancer and my brother became the only earning member. I took care of the responsibilities that came along with my father’s disease and  demise. Having kids had taken a back seat with so much going on.

My best friend in the meantime had conceived and had a beautiful baby boy. Who not only lightened my friends life but also gave me a reason to smile during the tough times I was going through. His single smile would light me up and recharge me for the entire day. And after a long time I felt that I had fallen in love again.

Maan as we call him became one of the most important elements of my life, he became the light I was looking for in the darkness of challenges that surrounded me.

And from Maan, I would say for the first time I had the urge to become a mother. Life took a turn again and we moved to US. And with the loneliness I found here the urge of becoming a mother became even more strong.

I had a chance to visit India soon after I moved to US. I finally decided to see my gynecologist to check if we are in the best shape to become parents. I was advised a complete hormonal profile and I anxiously waited for my results to come in being absolutely sure that nothing could go wrong with things. I felt healthy and perfectly fine. What could go wrong?

Endless Disappointments

The results came in and my dream and hope of becoming a mother came crashing down like house of cards. Doctor broke the most unexpected news to us “ your egg count is very low”. I wasn’t even sure what that meant but I knew one thing it didn’t sound promising.

I tried to ask her what can I do to improve my egg count and she said nothing could be done this is how my body is. She also gave it a term “Early Menopause” that definitely wasn’t something I wanted to hear.

My research reflected that early menopause sets in when a woman is stressed for prolonged periods. I searched long and hard on the internet what were the chances of conception for women with a condition like me. Every search pointed in one direction IVF.

I had heard about IVF but never understood what exactly the procedure was and how successful was it. Every search gave me many success stories and equal number of heart breaks. Every search made me more and more sad.

And every month the disappointment of not being able to conceive overpowered my once happy and free spirit. I got more depressed with every passing day.  I couldn’t share this pain with anyone and spent hours locked in closed spaces shedding tears and blaming myself for what seemed to be my life’s biggest defeat. I was scared to share this with my family as I was terrified of being blamed as ignorant towards my responsibilities.

Time went by and I came in terms with the fact that I will have to go with IVF and I might even have to get an egg donor. It’s a well known fact that IVF is very costly so I started saving every penny I earned towards it. Though disappointed I lifted my spirits up and told myself that god will not let this happen to me and I will turn out to be a successful case of IVF.

I honestly did let everything go and then my little miracle happened.

The Beginning of Motherhood

October of 2016 for the first time in 2 years and after 9 years of my marriage without any external help I got a positive pregnancy test. The two stripes on the test made me laugh and cry. I became so paranoid that I took 3 additional test to make sure I had a living being inside of me. I found out a place where I could get an early ultrasound to make sure everything was fine. I started eating and living healthy so that my little one would grow up healthy.

As he grew inside of me I fell more and more in love with him. On 19th of June 2017, I held him in my hands for the first and since then every passing day I fall more and more in love with my miracle baby.

The entire experience taught me one important lesson. “It is important to let go” once you let go and believe that you will get it. Keep working towards it, there is a good chance you may get it. To anyone struggling with the same, I say it is important to keep a positive outlook.

Are you struggling with infertility? What do you use to give yourself hope?

How Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility | Pregnancy | Infertility | Motherhood | Hope

Vinni Mishra is a corporate professional presently residing in Glen Allen, Virginia. She originally belongs to Jaipur, Rajasthan (India). She completed her masters degree in geography from Rajasthan University. She started her career as a corporate professional pretty early around the age of 18 with GE Capital and was until very recently working with Suntrust Mortgage in Glen Allen. She is an expectant mother and is enjoying her time off from work awaiting the new member to her family. She has a passion for writing and her writing is influenced by the rich culture of Rajasthan which is famous for its traditions and heritage that have been passed along generations.