Son Archives - Raising World Children

The Day My Son Realized We Are an Interracial Family

August 10, 2018

by Featured Guest with 12 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

I am American and about as pale white at they come. My husband is from the Caribbean and also lived in South America and has the perfect year around tan. When my son was born, he came out a perfect mix of the two of us but with my skin color. Given that we are an interracial couple, I assumed my son would easily accept other people and cultures. I found out a few months ago that I was wrong to assume that. I honestly never thought that I would have to explain why daddy was different.

Strange Behavior

A few months ago, my son, Logan, started acting very strangely towards Shadrach (his daddy). Logan wanted nothing to do with Daddy. He would push him away, run away from him, or did not want to play with him. The strange behavior started all of the sudden.

One night as I was putting Logan to bed, I asked him why he did not want to be around daddy and was treating him so badly. He told me that he did not like the color of daddy’s skin because it was different from his and mine. His answer floored me and caught me completely off guard.

Immediately my heart hurt for Shadrach. I was not expecting an answer like this. I never stopped and thought about the fact that I needed to teach my child about the differences in people and how that makes them each unique, especially when it came to his family. I just assumed that because this was his daddy and it was all he had ever known, that he would just love and accept him.

How We Taught the Differences Between People

I finished putting Logan to bed that night, after his confession about not liking his daddy’s skin color. My heart was heavy and I just kind of sat there and wondered what to do next.

The first thing I did, the very next day, was to start talking to Logan about what was different and what was the same between people. For example, I would ask him what was different about me. I would point out that I am a girl and he is a boy. That makes us different. Then, I would point out that he and daddy are both boys, which gives them something in common.

This little game continued when we were out in public. Quietly I would ask Logan what was different about people and then ask him to tell me if he could find something in common with them. Quickly Logan caught on and started pointing out people that looked like Shadrach and would exclaim, a little too loudly, “That man has the same color skin as my daddy!”

I was so glad to realize that he understood each person is made different and unique. The thing I wanted him to understand was just because someone looks or acts differently; it does not mean that is a bad thing. Also, my goal is to help him understand that we can always find something in common with another person.

This whole situation with Logan has taught me that as parents we do need to take the time to sit down and teach our children that people are made in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that is a good thing! Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.” username=”contactrwc”]

Each person reacts differently when they realize people are not quite like them. Logan acted scared and mad about it because it was something he did not understand. Some children are just curious and stare. Others may ask many questions about it. There is no wrong way, but as parents, we can pick up on these cues and start teaching them that those things that stand out are what makes those people unique.

Imagine how different our world could be if we all took the time to teach our children about different nationalities and cultures. The fear of someone different would go away because that fear comes from the lack of knowledge. While I am not done teaching Logan about all of this, I know that he is starting to understand and I see him learning to love people just as they are.

Can I challenge you as parents? Let children ask questions about people but make sure to explain things. Use it as an opportunity to teach about other cultures. If you do not know about certain cultures, be honest when your child asks. Then take the time to sit down and learn about it together.

Raising “world children” does not mean you have to travel around the world.

To me it means you sit down as a family and learn about different cultures, right in your home. Thanks to the internet, Pinterest, libraries, and television, there are plenty of opportunities to learn and teach your children about all the different cultures that make up our world.

I am thankful that we are such a diverse little family and it has opened up the doors to talk about different cultures and teach how to love each and every person, no matter who they are or where they are from.

Laura Ramnath is the voice behind her Family and Lifestyle blog The Rambling Ramnaths. She has held positions in banking and worked for a children’s clothing designer, but currently, enjoys the crazy role of being wife to Shadrach and stay-at-home mom to their 4-year-old son Logan. He keeps life interesting as there is never a dull moment with him! Laura has a passion for life and enjoys family travels and adventures, hiking, going to the beach and binge watching Netflix. She is also a strong believer in CoffeeFirst!

Raising World Children Baseball memories

Are The Little League Baseball Memories Worth It?

August 28, 2017

by Tammy Coin with No Comment Contemporary Parenting Voices

When he was five, he wanted to give soccer a try. We did that for one season, but that wasn’t his game. He had his eye on the sport that has often been called “The Great American pastime”, Baseball.

The next thing I knew, our life was spent running between the practice fields, the baseball fields and the tournament fields. My life was full of little boys that smelled mostly like wet dogs and dirt! How wonderful! Who knew there would come a time would I would miss that? All along, I did. I just didn’t know how much.

There was something about watching that little guy give his all to every practice and every game that made his mom’s heart soar. From T-Ball to High school baseball, I went to every baseball practice and every baseball game.

“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.” Yogi Berra

Watching my son play ball made life worth living, it made even really rough days, better. It was a time for family. We went locally and sometimes traveled. The weather ranged from hotter than hot to colder than cold and it was always a different temperature on the ball field. We had rain delays and rainouts. Then there were makeups. A makeup meant the day that a game was rescheduled from a previous rainout. That could mean for a really, really long day at the ballpark, oh, but the memories.

PICKING FLOWERS IN THE FIELD

Those little league days were the absolute best. Some of the boys in the outfield picked flowers, some looked at the sky and others seemed to know exactly what was happening. Some might still run in the opposite direction when it was their turn at bat. There is nothing quite like a belly laugh with tears in your eyes as you watch with delight while those little ones learn the rules of the game.

Then there were the out of control parents who…..well, lets just leave them sitting on the bench for now.

Youngsters of Little League can survive under coaching a lot better than over coaching. Willie Mays

As the boys began to grow, their skills improved. They became much more able to control their swings, their throws and their catches. They were becoming young men. The game was beginning to change, there was more concentration, fewer mistakes and the belly laughs often turned to knots of suspense as you watched your favorite young man round the bases.

FAVORITE GIRLS

The next thing I knew, my boy was taller than me. His favorite girls looked a little more like cheerleaders and high school girls and a little less like me. Once in awhile I would catch a glimpse of that nearly grown man, glancing over to see if I was still there and I knew in an instant that he was still happy to know his mom was there.

As I sit here this evening, I think about the days and years that have flown by since I last saw my little boy play baseball.

One day you wake up and they are grown. Tonight, I reminisce about my little boy and the Little League Memories. He’s no longer a little boy, he is now a grown man of 29 and serving his country overseas. I close my eyes and see him in my mind. It is with great pride and great honor to hold that man in my heart.

I know when that little boy that lives inside of him glances over to see, he will still be happy to know his mom is still here rooting for him. Are your kids enjoying a sport they love ?

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover your Soul Purpose. You can find her

Substitute Dad – The Story of A Stepfather

July 3, 2017

by Featured Guest with 4 Comments Contemporary Parenting Voices

My story is one of struggle and work but with a wonderful reward. Where a man came in and fulfilled a much-needed role missing in too many homes. The absent father.

This is the other side of single motherhood. The advent of the Substitute Father. This is when a man comes in and has a relationship with a single mother.

Our Love Story

It starts like all other relationships, man meets woman. Man falls for Woman. Woman has a child from a previous relationship. Suddenly Man has a new child to father.

Now as this is my story I need to give a little background. I was a bachelor with no children when I met this woman, never had any experience with fatherhood or raising children in any way.

So, one day after the wedding happens, suddenly this single man has a whole family. After the usual panic attack and the momentary self recrimination he gets to work.

Now don’t get me wrong this man has met the child before and in fact has a good relationship with him. There is a huge difference between being the boyfriend and being the new daddy.

Going From Stepfather to Father

The day comes where have to step up and father this young boy who has never had a male figure in his life with the exception of an absent and bitter father, A biological father who does not want to pay for his child.

So this day comes when the child has a need for direction, for a man to show him how to be a man. Now this is my job and I have absolutely no idea how to fulfill this in any meaningful way so I go to my backup plan.

The wonderful and all connecting Xbox.

So we sit together one day playing some game in which I am bad at and we begin to talk. It is slow at first with basic small talk. Talk about the game and instruction on how to get better at it, that was him instructing me as he is a natural wizard at it.

Small talk leads to something a little deeper and before you know it we two are connecting on a new and different level. A level that probes the hurt and pain that he feels at the abandonment by his biological father, the anger that he feels towards his mother and the lack of hope for a real future.

My heart breaks at his words but I know that I must be strong and give him the support and advice that he needs at this time. I take a deep breath and begin to tell him my own story of abandonment, of my lack of a father in my life and the negative effect that it had in my life.

He sits and listens to me while I recite my story, the game forgotten. Time goes by, questions are asked and honestly answered. On both sides, a deeper connection is made between two men, one an angry teen and one a confused and scared adult but more importantly between a father and a son.

Being a Father is Hard Work

This was one the first of many conversations between myself and him. Conversations that were not always polite or civil. Angry words were said by both parties. Punishments and rewards were handed out. Love was created and nurtured.

Now he has moved on in his life, graduated High School and has been offered a scholarship to a local college. My son went from lost and lonely, desperate and afraid with no hope to a wonderful young man with a future. I like to think that my calm influence had something to do with that.

I say this not to pat myself on the back but to show that it can be done. For men out there who are in or entering into a relationship with a woman with a child.

You are the FATHER and it is your responsibility to act the part. It does not matter if your seed is their seed. Anyone can get a woman pregnant but it takes a real MAN to be a FATHER.

What do you think it takes to be a good father?

Chris Segee is a leading coach in the field of Divorce Recovery and Author of the Best Selling The 90 Day Heal available on amazon. He has coached persons in the throes of divorce and other emotional turmoil for the past 20 years with dozens of success stories of saved marriages as well as saved souls of those who have been divorced. He welcomes any and all inquires to his email chrissegee@gmail.com