Let's Talk About Making Study Time Fun!

Let’s Talk About Making Study Time Fun!

by with One Comment EducationEmpowermentMindsetParenting

Making study time fun! The holy grail of all parents. To make children enjoy the time they are missing out on their play and video games.

“The tree I had in the garden as a child, my beech tree, I used to climb up there and spend hours. I took my homework up there, my books, I went up there if I was sad, and it just felt very good to be up there among the green leaves and the birds and the sky”. – Jane Goodall

It’s back to school time in Australia! If you are anything like me in the midst of the excitement surrounding all the new school adventures my children are about to embark on this year is the ever present quiet pleas I am silently making to my children’s teachers for “useful homework please!”

Does your school give homework?

At our school the Junior Primary years (grades K – 2) have a set of sheets delivered on Monday for 4 nights of 30minutes homework and 15 minutes read aloud of their home reader each day, and all to be returned on Friday morning into the teacher’s homework box for marking. The teacher requests the spelling words to be written out each night. Also no longer than 30 minutes of time should be spent each night completing the sheets. If it takes longer the teacher needs to be advised.

Upper Primary (grades 3 – 6) are given sheets designated to Monday-Thursday which directly reflect and reiterate the weeks learning and are to be returned to the teacher’s homework box Friday morning.

Again spelling is written out using read, cover, write technique. Teachers’ advise that no more than 45minutes to an hour should be spent on the written sheets each night or please speak with the teacher. And again 15 minutes of read aloud time either of the designated home reader or the child’s own school library book.

Not this….

My kids usual approach to homework used to involve procrastination, getting upset and throwing a tantrum when I asked was their homework complete, procrastinating some more, and then… running around at the last minute in a total panic to complete it before bedtime. Topped off with a promise that it wouldn’t happen again tomorrow, and inevitably tomorrow arrived with a repeat of today’s homework events.

Simply the word “homework” used to invoke chaos and pandemonium even before a book, paper and pencil were involved in the equation. Add a dyslexia diagnosis and afternoons became simply stress central.

Making study time fun!

Definitely this… Afternoon Study Time!

How is this different from “homework” you ask?


  1. We no longer use the word “Homework”! The idea of homework is associated with stress, anxiety and panic. No more of that!
  2. Kids returning from school I asked for the schoolbags to be put in the kitchen next to the kitchen table.
  3. The same kitchen table… the same work to be done, but… I made some major changes in my attitude. My attitude needed to reflect I was joyful and ready to learn.
  4. I needed resources that brought joy to use only for “Study Time”. I bought a set of artists pencils for drawing and coloring, colored art liner markers for headings and outlines, and also a new lead pencil, eraser and notebook for each child.
  5. At the old “Time for Homework” I call “Anyone for hot chocolate or tea?” and all three kids come running. I already have the afternoon tea snacks (sliced carrots, sliced cucumber, mini chicken nuggets, crackers and cheese) set in the middle of the table. I take orders for drinks and then ask them to get their books and study sheets from their bags and put them on the table. Then we all sat down together in the cubby house I made under the table with the snacks, hot chocolate and tea. Much giggling followed. Amazing difference!
  6. I now have a different read aloud book that I can read or add an audiobook as we start afternoon tea. We started with “A Bear called Paddington”.
  7. After “A Bear called Paddington” we read our school read alouds. Taking time to listen to each other. Very positive start! Variety in books is the key to making study time fun.
  8. When it came to the writing we sat up to the table and I produced new colours to share and new pencils for our new “Study box”. Everyone was excited to start! All the daily sheets completed, including spelling and sentences with little fuss.

Study Time is fun!!

I learnt the level of struggles are all related to my attitude to homework! Make learning enjoyable for everyone!

Grab our book that helps kids build confidence and good decision making skills.

Being Sexy is More Mind than Body

Being Sexy is More Mind than Body

by with No Comment EmpowermentMindsetParenting

LOVED the Superbowl half time show they put on !!! Outstanding !!!

I’m all for empowerment and all for everyone wearing whatever they like but I wonder how we teach our girls that being sexy is more MIND than body when women in the limelight constantly choose to show that LESSER is HOT !! #superbowl

I have always believed talent and hard-work doesn’t need crutches of props, gimmicks or glitter. I was raised in Kuwait where fashion can be seen in modesty as well. That’s why I never get why women (specially with amazing bodies ) often feel less is HOT or Fashionable…

Unfortunate times we live in IF stars feel they “need to” , to remain relevant! In-spite of being at their ABSOLUTE BEST even at 50 ??!!

And this is me talking just because I feel maybe it’s time me shifted that perspective..not just about These outfits.

Superbowl is always this way.

I have heard people question that this is part of the Latin culture and they have always dressed this way.  That when men are half naked, we have no issues. But my question is why do we need to sexualize something, at all?!

I personally even have an issue with all the Hindi movies that show women in skimpy clothes and men half naked for the sake of their 6-10 pack abs. Body display is not the only thing that makes a movie amazing. It is great acting!

In 2013, a friend of mine has a perfectly valid question about Beyonce’s get up the other day. – ” If a singer who is a role model of thousands of young girls ( our daughters) dresses up like a stripper on national television, and we object to it, are we being judgmental?
Or just bury your head in the sand, and ignore? ”

My response runs something like this.

Yes that is being being judgmental. Though everyone is entitled to their opinion as well.

It’s burying one’s head in the sand for thinking of her as stripper coz that’s how the world just is these days, unfortunate as it may be. One can only control their own hemisphere in life and their own children. I think a lot of parents’ worries come from the fact that kids emulate what they watch on TV. Parent’s example n guidance can turn even a negative influence/experience into a positive lesson.

In today’s world where guns, violence, drugs and rape are major issues I believe it’s important to guide our children to be good within. Instead of worrying about the dangers in the world and pointing at all the things people do wrong, teach your kids how to make good and sensible decisions.

I didn’t like the choice doesn’t make them any lesser or take away from their achievements.

I just feel it’s time around the world, the dialogue shifted to sexy being more MIND than body. So your outfit doesn’t take away from your talent.

It’s unfortunate that people are talking about that more than how amazingly awesome the show was and all the hard work that goes into putting it up and looking SO powerful on stage.

Talk to your about what sexy is. give them the gift of confidence.

Look at what is behind the scenes.

My son asked me, what is being sexy?! I said, it means being completely awesome.

So, I took to the matter to my kids today. And talked to them about what looking awesome is. This is going to be an ongoing conversation between us. Watch shows together. As Indians, we tend to make our kids close our eyes. Instead, highlight what’s behind the scenes.

Talk to them about whatever costumes we watch on TV. How we can comment n talk about it but its the singers choice of how she wants to portray herself. She has a great body n she’s worked hard on it so she will flaunt it. When it’s part of a culture then it’s not wrong or right. It just is. Also, instead of concentrating on what she was wearing one can think/talk about the talent, hard work, time and energy it goes into putting such a show together. It gives so many people jobs, co ordinating those dancers, lighting, the dedication to dance And sing at the same time. Having taken part in stage dramas,dances and all so I know it’s not easy.

If we want our children to understand that sexy is more mind than body, then we have to make sure they UNDERSTAND the difference between the two and how important it is to first KNOW the confidence within.

There’s a Time and Place for Every Outfit

I come from the, as some might say, old school of thought and find it important to talk to kids about how it is important to dress up in some places and dress casual in others. And that dressing lesser is not appropriate for every situation. Everyone has a right to wear whatever they like but we have to be in control of what we wear and where we wear it. Don’t let your hard work be hidden by something that you wear just to provoke!

Don’t Wear Something You Are Not Comfortable In

Wear it if you want, but remember you have to be comfortable in it. It is so sad to see many people wear clothes they are not comfortable in, just to fit in. They wear it, attend a party, and then are constantly roaming around with a worried expression, stressed about wardrobe malfunction.

Don’t follow trends, just because your friends are doing it.  Don’t fall prey to the idea of you having to have a certain image. The first rule of fashion is be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

Those women on stage on Superbowl 2020 are not sexy because of their clothes or lack there of. They are sexy because they are powerful, successful go-getters who followed their dreams.

And that is what allows them to be totally amazing, no matter what the situation.

 

 

My Kid Never Talked About Their Day ... Till This Happened

My Kid Never Talked About Their Day … Till This Happened

by with No Comment MindsetParenting

I finally learnt my lesson, don’t say “What did you do in school today?” because the answer is always “Nothing!” ( How in the world to you get kids to talk? )

Standing excitedly waiting for your child to return from school to hear, “Nothing!” yet again. Somewhat taken aback by this answer I would question, “How can you learn nothing at school? You have been there for 7 hours! Surely you learnt something?” Response, “No, nothing!”

Further attempts at alternative questions resulted in me standing, staring after my child running out to play, apple in hand, calling a sibling, “Let’s go play in the garden!”

Still no updates on “Nothing!”

“A child’s mental health is just as important as their physical health and deserves the same quality of support” – Kate Middleton

There did not appear to be in a thing I could do to entice any extra information free. So, an extremely confused me was left to just walk away hoping all was ok. Continually, I heard my mum, friends and various counselors in the children’s health field reiterate the extreme importance of talking about your child’s day at school. Discussions on how to start conversations, and how to word questions were readily addressed, adapted and re-discussed. The problem was all my children respond to all of the above with an eye roll and answer “Nothing!” or a variation thereof.

The response of my children’s teachers and my friends to my, “How do you get your child to talk about their school day because mine will not talk about their day?” was met with “Let me see if I can get a conversation happening!” I’m not sure whether I was relieved or not when neither they, nor the school counselor, had any success either. The teachers did advise though that they were unaware of any issues directly affecting our children.

All I could think about though was the note on the bottom of the school newsletter that kept saying, “This is a bullying free zone! Keep open communication with your children!”

This is where I decided to revert to the age-old rule … when all else fails, “Ask Mum!”

In the interests of my child’s mental health, I ask my parents how to get kids to talk.

They just started laughing. (Keeping in mind I grew up on a working farm with horses, cattle, dogs, and chickens) They said, “You didn’t!” Dad’s further response was, “I got you to catch a horse and check a mob of cattle. At the end of the exercise you had so many things to talk about, you wouldn’t be quiet!” Mum said, “I sent you to feed the chickens, and feed the dogs, and somewhere along the way you came back with the stories of your day!”

“Ok, well how do I get my kids to talk? The teacher/ school says we stop bullying happening when we keep in touch with our children. That’s not much use if they avoid all attempts at the ‘what did you do at school today’ discussion?” Mum said, “ By the end of the school day you wanted a snack and attacked anyone who asked a question! Be grateful the answer was ‘Nothing!’ You said something along the lines of ‘don’t talk to me’.”

Looking to my mum, I said “… but, what do I do?” Her answer was to deliver breakfast in bed before school and ask if they need help packing their school bags. Something slowly dawned on me, and I said, “Aah, tea and toast in bed when you knew I didn’t want to go to school!”

Tricky but effective!

“Exercise is the key not only to physical health but to peace of mind” – Nelson Mandela

How do I apply this lesson for my kids:

  1. We made a small vegetable patch in our garden. We can work together and have fresh herbs and vegetables for our dinner.
  2. Backyard soccer – just for fun!
  3. Homework time is always preceded by hot chocolate, tea and snacks so everyone can have a chat about their day and catch up before the business of study.
  4. We have a “Family Group Hug”. If anyone is feeling sad, tired or needs some support they can call “Group Hug” and end up the center of family squish! Source of much laughter and a message to make time for talking one on one.
  5. Cartoons: Everyone is required to like my choice of cartoon eg. Tom & Jerry, and Snoopy. (My husband likes Oscar, he is a gecko running around in the desert) Everyone is required to agree to the interruption of all regularly scheduled programs to pay attention to my cartoons! Interrupting homework, dinner, tv time, waking up early for picnic breakfast and cartoons on a school morning… but it makes for unscheduled conversations. It introduces different topics to discussion and helps me know what’s happening in my kids’ world away from home.

So, our solution is a little unconventional, but it works for us. We try and work on a communication strategy that revolves around: Stop! Think! Speak!

(My kids initials are S, T, S).

Help Your Kids Build Confidence with Our Award Winning Book

5 Tips on Having "The Talk" with Your Kids

5 Tips on Having “The Talk” with Your Kids

by with No Comment EducationLoveMindsetVoices
Let’s talk about the talk.
This talk is one of the most important  talks you will have with your child. Yes, I’m referring to ” SEX TALK“
We give so much importance on feeding  healthy food and good  thoughts , but have we thought of giving good and healthy sex education?
Physical,Mental and the least talked about SEXUAL HEALTH is important for overall development and its RESPONSIBILITY of every parent.
I am like most of you moms. I have always been this 90s child who changed channels when kissing scenes happened, never had a conversation about menstruation or sex with my parents, I even thought babies were formed when people kissed.
Lets see WHEN, WHERE, HOW and WHY to have the TALK.
**WHEN** :
My father was narrating a story to my 7 year old boy, where kunthi devi is blessed with a baby by sun god .Suddenly i heard my son say ” but i thought babies are formed when egg and sperm meets”. No, he’s not being over smart or trying to see a reaction from us.He told this with utmost matter of fact.
Upon my inquiry, he told me he read it in an anatomy book for children that I apparently had got for him.
So,when my son was 3-4 , he would often ask me “who put me in your belly”. I would say god .
At 5-6, I would say amma and appa loved each other, that’s how you and your brother were born.
Now at 7, armed with a proof when my child questioned me , as a mom i took this as an opportunity to explain the female body and male body with his own book and told him biologically. Have i told him about the actual sex act? NO. But will definitely do.When this question arises in another 2 years, I would not hesitate.
**WHERE**
If the child questions you about sex or anything related to his body at an inappropriate place. DO NOT shush him.This will give him signals that this is something absolutely wrong.Instead, let him know this can always be discussed at the privacy of home.
**HOW** :
How to explain your child as young as 7 or 8 about sex? There are so many books available for children.Teach it in simple biological terms.Only when you de-sexualize the sex act, the child will know it is something normal .

**WHY**
This is the most important.WHY on earth would I want to explain about sex, menstruation or puberty to my precious little child. Believe me, you are doing him/ her a favor.IF you do not do it,they will learn through improper sources (friends,internet)and end up being confused teenagers( just like us 90s kids).
LASTLY,
If you are a mom who thinks my child will figure out all this when the age comes. If you are one to divert or redirect the questions to  dad.Think twice.Give them the correct foundation. He/ she is learning the most important function of a human from their own mom/ dad. Just like how you taught them rhymes/ math / science/ godly songs.
Their mind will tune it to accept this as something which is NATURAL and  NORMAL.
Have you had the talk with your kids? How did it go?
Cream-Pink-Blue-Photo-Grid-Birthday-Blog-Idea-Pinterest-Graphic-1-e1579556955698

4 Skills That Promote Future Career Growth

by with No Comment EducationMindsetParenting

As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your child succeed, both now and in the future. Though you can’t ace their first job interview for them when that day comes, you can build skills now that will benefit them in their future career. Skills that promote future career growth are simple yet powerful.

Adding to the usefulness of this process is that skills that are useful in the job world are skills that help your children succeed today, no matter what age they are. Here are a few skills that you can focus on to help your child be their very best.

Patience

No matter what type of company your child works for, they are going to have to interact with at least a handful of people. When they do so, some degree of patience will likely be required. Patience is something that can’t be switched on overnight. Instead, it must be taught over many years to give time and space to practice and fail at being patient. A byproduct of teaching the importance of patience is teaching the importance of delayed gratification, another crucial business skill.

Problem-Solving

Even if your child is advanced for their age, when they begin a career, they will not know everything there is to know about that job. They will likely run across many situations they’ve never encountered before, requiring problem-solving skills to ensure their success. Problem-solving can be taught in a variety of ways, such as through online chess lessons, building with construction blocks, doing crossword puzzles, and a variety of other simple, fun tasks that teach children how to figure things out for themselves.

7 Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance

Goal-Setting

Hopefully, when your child begins a career, they won’t be content to settle for the position they start in. One way to encourage this ambitious behavior is to develop goal-setting skills in your child when they are young. For example, you can have your child set a goal to save a certain amount of money to buy a toy or set a goal of improving their grade in a class they don’t enjoy. This process of working toward something long-term will help them to have determination and staying power as they work to move up in their career field.


Promptness

With so many distractions facing your child, one of the best gifts you can give them is the skill of promptness. If your child works to complete tasks in a timely manner and keeps track of when they should show up to various events, it will instill in them the importance of promptness and help protect against procrastination. In the business world, promptness is crucial to keeping a job, and a lack of procrastination will help them stand out from a world of constantly distracted co-workers.

Though it can be tempting to try and steer your child toward a specific career that you know is lucrative, your most important job as a parent is simply to teach them the skills they need to be successful in any career. Don’t unnecessarily narrow the focus of your child, which could prevent them from discovering their true passion where they will truly blossom. Any career can be lucrative if your child puts into practice the skills you have taught them.

4 Skills That Promote Future Career Growth

Jump Start Your Child's Journey to College

Jump Start Your Child’s Journey to College

by with One Comment EducationUncategorized

Successfully preparing your child for college can often be a challenging process. It can even be difficult to know where to start. Luckily, there are a few tips you might want to consider in order to get a jump start and to help secure your child’s future. For example, you might want to look into sending them to reputable schools.

This can ensure that they maintain good attendance and grades, help prepare them for college entry exams, and encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities. Each of these things will look good on a college application and can help to ensure that they get into the college of their dreams.

Enrolling Your Child in Reputable Schools

The type of education your child receives before applying to college can sometimes make a huge difference in their acceptance rate. Often, many parents who are on a budget may not be able to afford the private schools. You may be able to apply for grants and scholarships in order to cover the costs depending on eligibility. This is definitely worth looking into, and the extra research may really pay off.

Ensuring Your Child Maintains Their Grades and Attendance

Good grades and attendance are another important part of getting into the best colleges. Therefore, you should ensure that your child is studying, keeping up with the material, and only missing school when it is necessary. You might also want to look into hiring a tutor or enrolling your child in after-school programs. This can help ensure they are learning as much as possible and that they properly prepare for college.

Prepare Them for College Entrance Exams

College entrance exams, such as the ACTs, can impact what type of schools your child is able to attend. Therefore, you will want to make sure they prepare for these tests. This can be achieved by keeping track of their academic progress and by finding extra help for them if needed. For example, you might want to find helpful study guides or encourage them to attend a college prep high school.

Encouraging Extracurricular Activities

Many students applying to college will have good grades and attendance. Therefore, encouraging your child to participate in extracurricular activities might help to set them apart. Many colleges prefer students who are well-rounded. This can be achieved by encouraging your child to participate in activities, such as music, debate, sports, and volunteer work.

Overall, it will sometimes require a lot of effort in order to ensure that you are doing your part as a parent to invest in your child’s future. Many parents are not as engaged in their child’s education as they should be. If you take the extra time to do some research and find out what colleges are really looking for, this can give your child a better opportunity to succeed in the future.


My Kids Do Not Get Paid for Doing "Chores"

My Kids Do Not Get Paid for Doing “Chores”

by with 2 Comments Mindsetmoney

I realize the world chore has become one that creates confusion these days. Kids crib about helping around the house and yet crib about it, expecting some kind of payback.  I often see adults also lamenting about doing chores. There seems to be an inherent loss in taking pleasure in doing simple things that feed the soul. And why in the world are kids expected to be paid for helping around their own house?!!!

No one paid me for helping around the house. Admittedly, I didn’t do much but still, this concept of being paid for chores is so foreign in our Indian household. There is a huge misconception that kids in American households are paid for helping with simple tasks but the truth is most get paid for extra chores, i.e harder jobs like raking leaves, weeding, deep cleaning etc. not taking out the trash!

To that end, we stopped using the word “Chores” in my home. Lest my kids expect to be reimbursed for their efforts.

Instead, now I say, “Please help me out by …” or “Please, do …” and reminding them time and again to do the same with patience and perseverance. And that we are a family and this is THEIR home.

https://raisingworldchildren.com/2020/01/20/dads-provide-value-dinner-table/

By doing this I have taught my kids to realize – 

They Are Not Doing Chores but Helping

Moms and dads are human and need help too. Doing laundry, loading the dish washer, making your bed, de-cluttering or organizing is Not a favor being done for the parents. We are a family and everyone should pitch in. One contributes depending on the need of the hour. Sometimes, I need help to get the living room clutter free before guests come urgently. Other times, I’m sick and need something done that they don’t usually do.

They Learn to Co-operate

When house work is not allowance based, the kids try to find ways to word together to get things done quicker. One changes the clothes from washer to dryer while other moves the clothes from dryer to the room.


We Need to Be Self Motivated

It is their home. They need to feel proud of the house in which they live, grow and have friends over. No job is small or big. Every single thing you do towards grooming, cleaning or helping out carries value in itself. There is much to be said about a home that is welcoming. Appreciation should come from within for what you do.

Doing It Right The First Time is An Art

When it is not monetary, the kids want to get done and QUICK! After all, play time is at stake. Plus, if my kids are grumpy about helping out around the house or they do a job badly just for the sake of it, they not only have to redo it, they have to do something else too. This is one really important aspect that has helped me a lot. This gives them an incentive to do it right the first time!

Helping Need Not Be but Can Be Fun

Let’s face it! These ‘how do I get chores to be fun?’ or “paying kids for chores” is unhealthy. You are not going to find treats or stickers when cleaning up as a adult. There will be no point system or compensation for what you do for your home or at your work. Life is hard. Kids need to know that doing your job need not be, but can be made fun by themselves.

  • Finding two pairs of socks or jumping in a just washed pile of laundry is fun.
  • Talking to each other when emptying and loading the dishwasher is fruitful.
  • Helping your mom out by running as fast as you can to get the diaper for the baby can be fun.

Finding the silver lining in the mundane is a beautiful characteristic to develop.

Consistency is Key To Life Skills

All things that need doing are not life altering but they carry within them the key to basic life skills. By contributing towards work around the home kids learn that consistency is key to organizing. If you want something to be done right or neatly, you have to do it every day, week or month. That dedication is a core life quality.

In order to grow up into individuals providing value to society they need to know that not every task is going to be compensated for.

Work around the house is valuable and needs doing. It builds character, empathy and many more life skills. And taking care of your home is a matter of building character not bank balance.

How does allowance and chores work in your home?

Overcoming Anxiety

The Truth About Overcoming Daily Anxiety

by with One Comment AnxietyEmpowermentMindset
You are going to be surprised how many of us are overcoming daily anxiety. I clearly remember the first time that I got behind the steering wheel of a car. I felt two kinds of contrasting emotions stirring within me. I felt a sense of power and an incredibly debilitating sense of fear, at the thought of all that power.
One wrong move and the car would crash and along with it, all my hopes of healthy living might crash too. Unfortunately, that day, I gave more attention to the second feeling, completely setting aside all other rational thoughts.
So, from that day on, every time I sat on the driver’s seat of a car, I let that hopeless feeling take control of me. So, the whole time, I was learning to drive, I would imagine me and my car in all kind of disaster scenarios. It was like watching a movie in my head, except it didn’t seem fictional.
I was the hero of the movie and I was also the villain, as I crashed the car in to some ditch or a tree or some other car and did nothing but destroy, just like any classic bad guy would do.

The big change

And then I got married and came down to USA, a land where life threw me in front of my biggest challenge. There was no way out, and I had to drive here, especially if I didn’t want to be stuck in my home for the rest of my life. So, I got behind the wheels again, accompanied by all my fears, fast-beating heart, panic attacks and so on and so forth. Every night, I would think of various excuses, to use on my husband, as to why I couldn’t come out for driving practice the next day. I could pretend to be sick. I could just say that I’m extremely tired, from having spent the whole day at home. I could just tell him that I had to feel the urge to drive and I just wasn’t feeling it. The words stayed stuck in my throat. Even I knew that those excuses sounded hollow. Even I knew that I had to act grown up and just get through this challenge. But, I felt helpless in front of the non-stop disastrous thought patterns that my mind kept presenting. It took me ages to understand that what I had been experiencing all these years, right from my childhood had a name attached to it.

Anxiety defined

The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as,  “An emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” It sounds very simplistic when you put what you feel in a decided set of words. Words simply cannot do justice to what you feel, no matter how eloquently they are put together. You want to cry, but tears won’t form. You want to scream, but vocal cords stop working. You want to speak with someone about what you’re going through, but the words seem to kind of freeze in your throat. All you’re left with is this roaring sound in your head and the words, “I can’t do this!”

Reality hits.

The days trudged by, and I did manage to somehow get my license to drive. All the days of practice with my husband, many driving school sessions and a couple of driver’s tests later, the miracle happened. I felt victorious when I held that license in my hand. I felt on top of the world, and then I made the mistake of looking down from that height. Reality hit me as I realized, now that I was legally allowed to, I was actually expected to drive places, all by myself. And that’s when the panic button hit one more time. My husband tried his very best to motivate me, but the terror of it had paralyzed me …all over again.

A reason to move forward.

It took me two years to move forward, and the reason came in the form of my first bundle of joy, my little daughter and the lady who gave birth to me, my mom. My mom was the one who said, “I’ll take care of your little one, and you make sure that you can take care of her when I have to leave.” In retrospect, I guess that was all I required to move myself to do something. I had to accept that if I wanted to be able to independently take care of my child here, I had to face my fear, no matter how strong the fear was and how weak I felt.

Baby steps.

It started with little baby steps, small trips to the nearest grocery store, and lead to bigger things like handling my baby’s doctor’s appointment, all by myself. Every little step that I took, seemed to push me ahead. Pretty soon, I was able to convince myself pretty quickly that I wasn’t anxious about driving anymore.

And then came the big setback.

It happened, the day I had been dreading all these years, arrived. And it came so innocently that it caught me off guard. It was a regular morning and a regular visit to my daughter’s preschool. As I drove out of her school, I misjudged the oncoming traffic, and crashed straight into a car, with my daughter in the back and my mother-in-law sitting next to me. Though all three of us were shaken up by the event, no one was thankfully injured, not even the driver of the other car. But my nightmare of crashing my car came true.

Moving on again

If I say that I breezed through the next few days, I would be a big fat liar! It was horrifyingly painful and the image of the broken van is permanently etched in my brain. Not to mention the fact, that once I was in a condition to start driving again, I had to pass the same route every day, twice a day, for five days a week as I dropped and picked up my daughter from her preschool. It did not happen just like that. It took me months, probably years to gain my full confidence back. But, sometimes the only way you can get over something is simply by getting over it. You take one painful step after another, and before you know it, you look back, in awe, of the distance you have managed to travel.


 The lessons learned

What I learned is what I’d like to pass on to my children and to anyone else who faces anxiety.

1. Do not ignore or suppress your fears. Doing that just increases the size of your anxiety. It definitely does not make it go away.

2. When you have decided that you will be facing your fears, do not listen to the negative self-talk that you will often hear. You will not fail at this. You will not look back and doubt yourself. You can do this and more, a lot more.

3. Search and find your true motivation for walking past your fear. It can be for your parents or your friends. But it works best when it is for yourself. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are always the best motivators that you can find.

4. Always be prepared for setbacks, as they will invariably make an appearance at some point in your life. Just when you think you have conquered this, life will take an about-turn. And when that happens, take a deep breath, begin the process of taking one step after another, and keep moving on.

5. Whenever you feel down about how hard this is, try to visualize how it would feel when you look back one day from a place of strength and achievement. That day will come soon, even if things look bleak now.

If I say that my days of breaking into sweat are behind me, that would be another gigantic lie. Today, I drive all over the place, almost like I’m walking, and yet I’m aware that all it might take is one more episode of disaster and I may have to start all over again. And that’s completely alright with me. Real-life doesn’t offer happy-endings-forever.

What it does offer, are repeated opportunities to conquer fears and experience those happy endings.

The Truth About Overcoming Daily Anxiety

First published on … https://sursangeet2000.wordpress.com/2019/10/14/overcoming-anxiety/

Dads Can Provide Value Around the Dinner Table

Dads Can Provide Value Around the Dinner Table

by with No Comment MindsetParenting

The dinner table is a fun and chaotic place where the family gathers to eat and share their day. When you have younger children, it can often be a place of enormous mess and strain. Have you wondered how to provide value around dinner the dinner table?

Primarily, mothers have been the ones to tend to the children and the cleanup of the messes in days gone by. However, the modern dad pitches in and helps to ease the burden on mom. Here are some ways that dads can help take care of their kids around the dinner table.

1. Help Serve the Meal

How many times does mom barely get enough time to eat because she is getting the plates ready for the rest of the family? Dad can help to serve the children. If they need help with cutting steak or pork chops, then he can also assist with this seemingly time-consuming chore. When everybody is eating and their bellies are filling, there will be less chaos in the serving process.

2. Create a Warm and Inviting Environment

If you were to poll children around America, they would all say that they would prefer to eat in front of the TV or while playing a video game. It’s just as much dad’s responsibility as it is mom’s to make the table a warm and inviting place to congregate. Teaching these principals starts at a young age.

If you’ve spent good money on fancy dining tables from reclaimed wood in Boston, MA, you want to make sure the family gets use from it. Who says the dinner table is only about food? You should teach kids to play games, sit and chat, and learn that this is a spot that is at the center of the heart of the home.

3. Clean Up

Any mother will tell you that cleanup is the hardest part of any meal. Children love to throw food to the dog down below or at their sibling. The floor can often look like someone emptied a trash can when the meal is done. Dad can make sure that peace and order are followed during the dinner process. By keeping up with wiping hands and any spills as they occur, the cleanup won’t be nearly as intense.

4. Be Present

Not every family has the luxury of having dinner together. Work schedules often inhibit eating as a family. However, when dad and mom are both home, an effort should be made to have dinner as a family. There’s something remarkable about setting aside time for each other.

Life is crazy, and people want to eat on the go. However, there is something sacred about having a meal as a family. Even if dinner time gets a bit chaotic, dad can help to ease the burden on mom during this time. With any luck, your children will grow to appreciate and teach their kids the importance of gathering around the table.


Counter the Effects of Addiction in Teens With Support

Counter the Effects of Addiction in Teens With Support

by with One Comment AddictionTeenagers

Parents hoping to receive treatment for addiction often worry about how this recovery journey will affect their children. With the proper treatment and precautions to protect children from the effects of addiction, individuals in recovery can achieve sobriety, while healing their familial relationships. Read on to learn how parents can seek treatment without negatively affecting their children.

Consider Inpatient Care

Inpatient residential care is likely the most intensive form of rehab treatment. Allowing clients to undergo detox and receive treatment in a residential facility (inpatient care) will give parents the best opportunity to overcome addiction. Over a period of several weeks or months, parents will learn to overcome their addiction and develop new routines. This will help them rebuild their lives after rehab.

Meet with a Therapist

Therapy is an essential part of treatment. While detox programs and residential treatment are crucial for healing the body from the effects of addiction, therapy helps clients achieve emotional and mental sobriety. In inpatient treatment, you’ll receive group therapy, individual counseling, and family therapy. As you learn new techniques, they will help you overcome the old habits that facilitated your addiction.

Make Your Home a Sober Environment

After receiving treatment from an addiction recovery center, it’s important to prepare for your new life outside of treatment. While residential care prepares clients for a life of sobriety, coming back to your home after rehab can be particularly triggering. If you’re planning to live at home after rehab is over, make sure to give your home a thorough cleaning.

Transform your home into a sober environment by eliminating all sources of addiction. This includes everything from alcohol and drugs to anything that may trigger you like photos of old friends or similar items.

Have Children Stay with Family During Recovery

Recovery is a long process that isn’t limited to your time in inpatient treatment. As you acclimate yourself to your newfound sobriety and life outside of rehab, it’s important to make sure your children have a safe environment as well.

If possible, send your children to stay with other family members or friends during your initial period of recovery after rehab. As you become more solidified in your sobriety and your daily routines, your children will be able to return to a safe and sober environment.

Addiction treatment is the best option for parents hoping to achieve sobriety and create a healthy environment for their family members. Make sure your children experience the benefits of recovery by taking this information into consideration.

Helping Children With Special Needs With a Move

Helping Children With Special Needs With a Move

by with One Comment ParentingSpecially Abled

Moving is hard for everyone, but children with OCD and autism tend to struggle the most. Your child likely thrives on a routine, and moving tends to mean having to readjust to an entirely new living situation. Although your child may exhibit more symptoms during the moving process, you can use these tips to help them quickly acclimate to their new house.

Encourage Them to Help Pack

Your child with autism may be confused or upset to discover that everything they care about has been packed up. Especially if you try to do it when they are not at home. A child with OCD may also be extremely worried about the status of their belongings during the move. To help with these issues, have your child help pack their personal items. While you may handle the majority of the packing, it can be reassuring for your child to help. You can ask your child to carefully wrap breakables and organize items that go together in the same boxes.

Include Them in the Planning Process

Children with autism and OCD do best when they know what to expect. Using age-appropriate language, talk to them about some of the decisions that you make when you are working with the new home builders. For instance, you can show your child the floor plan of your new house before you move in. This will help them know where their bedroom is located. If your new home is near your old one, you could take your children there as it is being built. This way they can see the process with their own eyes.

Make Their Bedroom an Oasis

Moving to a new house usually creates at least a few days of chaos before everyone settles in. During this time, your child can use their room as a place to retreat to when they feel stressed. Plan to set up your child’s room first. They’ll be able to regulate their behavior better, when they are surrounded by familiar furniture and toys.

Involve Them with Setting Up the Rest of the House

Your child also needs to feel comfortable in the rest of the house before they can successfully adjust, and they may have a sense of ownership over certain shared items such as their video game systems.

Give your child simple tasks that help them feel more in control over how things are set up. For instance, an older child might want to organize their video games in the living room. Or a younger child may want to designate a quiet space, where they can play with their toys.

Thinking about your child’s ability to adjust to a new environment is essential during your move. Although you may need to practice a bit more patience during stressful moments, you can keep them to a minimum by simply planning ways to prevent meltdowns. By talking to your child about your plans and getting them involved in each part of the move, you can help them learn to love their new home.

I am the Mom of the Average Child

I am the Mom of the Average Child

by with 11 Comments EducationLoveMindset

Yes, you read it right. I am the mom of an average child. By average, I simply mean my child is the average learner, average in scoring marks, average in sports and in extra curricular activities. What’s special about him then? NOTHING as per society and school norms.

I often get asked, oh! You are an Indian.. Your son must be good in math and studies in general… I simply say no, he is not. He is average. Am I ashamed to say this? No.. Should I be lying that he is the best in something which he is not, in front of others? Definitely no.

My son is that average child who people fail to notice either for not being at the top or being at the bottom. People fail to notice his sweet smile ,funny talks, tight hugs, friendly personality, kind behaviour, mild manners, helpful nature because he is JUST an average child.

The school, society celebrates children who are top scorers or good in sports and extracurricular,which rightfully they should. Amidst all this, my average child who is a spectator and cheers his friends with full heart goes unnoticed.

His love for sports,( even when he knows he is not going to be selected for school team), his love for music(even though he knows he is not going to be selected for school choir) never diminishes. He does all this to enjoy it rather to compete.

Am I a mom who is not strict with him for not scoring at the top? Yes, I am strict to an extent and lost my cool many times in the past.

His words pierced through me when my 7 year old asked, “mummy do you not respect me”? How many of us thought we should respect children? We adults demand our respect each and every moment of our life. Why not a child?

Among children preparing for IIT, MBBS even at a tender age of 10 years. My average child is talking about traveling the world ,meeting new people and eating different cuisines.

My average child might or might not become a doctor, astronaut ,scientist. But, he is sure to grow up to be a good person, who will spread cheer.

Last but not least:

Notice the average child. All that child wants is a smile or a kind word from us adults for just being himself to give him assurance to trust the world.

Each child is different, so is each parenting Style😊

Mathangi Murali is a mom of two boys. She is a full time mom living in Cyprus. She enjoys learning new languages , reading and photography. She has recently ventured into blogging on parenting and motherhood. She believes that a happy child makes a happy world and every child deserves to be respected for their choices.

Before you go, check out our award winning, best selling book on parenting confident kids who have a global growth mindset.

How to Help Children Adjust to a Long Distance Move

How to Help Children Adjust to a Long Distance Move

by with One Comment MindsetTravel

Moving can be stressful even if you’re just relocating down the street; but for children who are moving long-distance, leaving their home, neighborhood, and school can be an especially difficult challenge.

Parents shouldn’t avoid talking about the move and its stressors; it’s hard for anyone to leave a home that they love. To help make the conversation and transition easier, take a look at these tips.

Include Them in the Home-Buying Process

Rather than simply moving your kids to a new house they don’t know anything about, allow them to be involved in the entire process. Look at single family home listings together, and compile a list of features the family would love in their next house. Looking at houses together and discussing options will give kids a sense of control over a situation that could otherwise leave them feeling lost.

Plan Their New Bedroom

Before you move, show you children photos of the new house, and plan a shopping trip to pick out new decorations. From a new bedspread to a comfy chair, allow children to help prepare for their new space and get excited about making the new house feel like home.

You can also talk about different design ideas they may like to try, such as painting the walls a fun color together.

Go on a Google Maps Tour

Check out the new neighborhood together by entering the address on Google Maps and taking a virtual tour. You can also plug in the address of their future school, which can help the transition feel slightly less scary. Check out the surrounding neighborhood, and point out different places you recognize from the website when you arrive.

Have a Farewell Party

Have one last family party in your house before the move; it doesn’t have to be super elaborate; giving the kids new pajamas and a stuffed animal to take with them while you eat some pizza and watch movies can be a great way to make their send-off less sad.

If your children are younger, consider attaching a notecard to their new stuffed animal that tells them how excited they are to move into the new house together!

Use the Move as a Teaching Moment

A big move might be your children’s first encounters with loss and grief. Be sure to have a sit-down talk if needed and ask them how they feel. Assure them that it’s okay to be upset they’re moving, but shift the conversation in a positive direction by reminding them of the memories you’ll always get to keep no matter where you live.


How To Get the Most Value Out of Homeschooling Autistic Kids

How To Get the Most Value Out of Homeschooling Autistic Kids

by with No Comment EducationSpecially Abled

Raising a child who is on the autistic spectrum frequently involves a wide range of challenges that parents may not have expecting. Private schools, tutors and homeschooling groups can often provide parents with options, resources and accommodations that may simply not be available through a conventional public school. Finding ways to minimize and better manage your child’s outbursts, tantrums or combative episodes can often make a world of difference.

Focused Attention

Large classroom size can be a real issue, even for non-autistic children and those without special needs. Getting lost in the crowd means that sensory issues or other situations which may trigger an outburst are less likely to be noticed and addressed in time. Homeschooling groups can provide the more focused attention needed to ensure that such issues are less likely to cause problems throughout the school day.

Control of the Environment

The ability to better control and manage your child’s surroundings and environment can also be a major asset. Homeschooling groups can arrange for private bus rental, adjust light and sound levels within the classroom and ensure that environmental stimuli can be kept at a more manageable level. Attending a conventional school could make something as simple as arranging for your child to wear noise-cancelling headphones a more difficult undertaking.

Individualized Lesson Plans

While every student is different, teaching and working with children on the spectrum often involves a great deal of trial-and-error in order to find the right approach. Homeschooling opportunities make it much easier to create lesson plans or even a curriculum that has been tailored to your child’s specific needs. Taking a more personalized approach to teaching and instruction can be essential when dealing with any student who may be having difficulty with a conventional classroom environment.


Acceptance and Understanding

Finding emotional acceptance is another concern that should not be overlooked. Autistic children often have trouble fitting in within a public or even private school environment. Homeschooling groups are often an ideal alternative, one that can provide a more nurturing emotional environment.

School can be especially challenging for both autistic children as well as their parents. Finding the right options, resources or the alternatives that may be more accommodating can often be an issue of great importance. From managing the daily commute with greater ease to finding greater social acceptance or mastering a lesson plan, homeschooling groups and options may have far more to offer than you might imagine.

Plan Your Child's Baptism with Ease

Plan Your Child’s Baptism with Ease

by with No Comment Multicultural

Being an expectant mother, there is a lot of planning to get done before your little one arrives, including his baptism. Baptisms are a ceremony that serves as a submission to Christ. When you decide to have one for your son, there are many elements that need to be planned ahead to make sure the baptism is successful.

Once you commit to the idea of having a baptism, there are a number of ways to prepare before your son arrives. Making a checklist of items helps keep you organized throughout the process. Some planning items to include the following points.

1. Choosing the Godparents

Godparents are significant because they serve as partakers in the moral development of your baby. They also assume legal guardianship in cases of emergency. Pregnancy is a great time to begin considering who you would like to take on this responsibility.

2. Picking a Name

Once you’ve decided to have a baptism, naming your baby after a saint is tradition. Even if you decide on a non-traditional first name, dedicating the middle name is recommended. Information on the name’s corresponding patron saint is also beneficial during your baptism planning journey.

3. Fulfilling Requirements

When planning a baptism, there may be required classes or necessary timelines you have to meet. These can be done with the parish of your church. It is best to call ahead and find out what you need.

The church you regularly attend and contribute to should be the location for your son’s baptism. You will receive paperwork to prove you are a Catholic and a parish member. Once completed, your church will approve your ceremony.


4. Event Details

After being approved, it is time to pick a date and time. Baptisms are typically the first introduction of your son to the outside world, but parishes suggest completing it within the first month of life.

Once the date is secured, creating a guest list is the next priority. Whether you decide to include friends and family or plan an intimate event is your choice.

5. Clothing

It’s tradition for your son to wear white for the ceremony. If you don’t have an heirloom, you can always find boys baptism outfits online.

Remember, while this is a milestone in your son’s life, an extravagant event isn’t necessary. Simply planning to have an intimate ceremony to commemorate your baby’s submission to Christ works perfectly fine.