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Tips for Helping Siblings Share a Room

When I imagined having kids, I always wanted them to share a room. To be together for as long as they could. Sure, I imagined there may be a time when they would ask for or need separate rooms but I want that time to be pushed as far away as I can.

You see, I had very little time with my sibling. Being 10 years younger to me, we were together in the same home for just a little over 8 years of a total.

With a 2.5 bedroom apartment in Kuwait, it didn’t occur to my parents till much later to give me the 1/2 room.  Only when I got engaged to be married and my brother went to high school, preparing for college applications, did we part rooms.

Of all those years, my favorite ones were of sharing the same room together.

Laughing, fighting, and just BEING together as we did our own things. He, his school homework and me reading a book or texting. I would tell him to go away when my friends came and he would yell for quiet when playing a game on the computer. Being in the same room together, gave me an insight into his feelings, which otherwise would never come to light!

It was a wonderful connection. This room that we shared for that brief moment in time was a big part of our childhood that we shared.

My daughter slept in her own room till she was 1.5 and her brother entered kindergarten. He had always co-slept with me and in spite of trying to give him his own room, his nightly fears would have him make Grand Central out of the house in the middle of the night.

Halfway through kindergarten, we put them both in a room together. And they both have been inseparable since.  It helped his fears of being alone in the night and my daughter also began sleeping better (read: longer) in the mornings. It certainly helps with the sibling wars.

Here are five things that help define spaces for siblings sharing a room:

1. Each One Has their Own Side

A bed on each side of the room, with side tables and a longer table (once train table now study table) in the middle helped them both have their own play space.

Often my daughter even sleeps on the end of the bed so she can see her brother’s face. It’s very cute to hear them whispering and laughing during the weekends when they beg to stay up late.

2. Their Art Over Their Beds

They certainly get a kick out of taping their art to the walls. It gives them a sense of space and authority to have their artwork or keepsakes on their side of the bed.

3. Dividing Their Clothes Categorically

Since they are small they share a dresser and the cupboard. But on the whole, their seasonal clothes all fit into the dresser. The top four are his and the bottom two hers. And they are pretty independent in dressing themselves. Mostly as we prep the night before, they are very aware of what is kept where. Sometimes they even help each other in finding things before school or parties.

4. Their Toys Under Their Beds

Toys are sorted into three boxes each and pushed them under their beds. So when it’s play time, they both know where their things are. So, when it’s clean-up time, it helps them sort things faster and with lesser of “but it’s her/his stuff“.

5. Decorating Their Walls With Their Favorite Themes

I have made sure to put their favorite themes on the remaining two walls in an equal manner so that each has their favorite princesses and superheroes to look at.

Other than keeping them connected, this also helps them get over the ‘boys can only have this and girls can only have that’ feeling early. Both my kids take pride in having all kinds of characters adorning their walls.

Sharing a room, as I learned early and in college, teaches one a lot about making compromises, respecting others’ stuff and giving another space – a lot of life lessons that are essential to any relationship.

 

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Be Sure to Address the Positive Things Your Child Does

As a parent, you probably put a lot of focus on telling your child what not to do. It’s easy to get into the habit of “catching” them doing something negative so you can correct the problem. While there isn’t anything wrong with that and it’s an effective way to teach them what they should and shouldn’t be doing, your child also needs reinforcement when they do something positive.

Criticism and compliments should be equally given to children, no matter their age. Think of your boss at work constantly pointing out the things you do wrong, but never offering up words of encouragement or telling you that you’re doing a good job. Chances are, it would start to affect your mood, your thought process, and even how well you function at work.

Children need encouragement and praise, too. It can help with their overall growth and development and allow them to become confident and self-assured as they grow. It’s a parenting style that could make a big difference in how your child sees themselves.

Let’s look closely at why it’s important to address the positive things your child does and how you can do it more often.

The Problem With the Negative

Pointing out things your child is doing wrong provides an opportunity to address and correct those things. But, only focusing on those negative things can end up doing more harm than good. When you are constantly correcting your child’s actions or behaviors, you could be causing them extra stress. This can lead to both short and long-term issues, including:

  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Changes in appetite
  • Fatigue
  • Tension
  • Headaches

Too much stress can even lead to mental health issues like anxiety or depression. Having no positive reinforcement might also make your child feel like they don’t do anything right, which can be a huge blow to their confidence and self-esteem. They might also start to look at the world through a negative, pessimistic lens, which can hold them back from opportunities.

When you create a healthy balance between pointing out negative and positive things, you can teach your child to accentuate the positive, and they will learn how to build themselves up and be more confident in everything they do.

Understanding Your Child’s Behaviors

It’s easy to get frustrated with your child when you feel they’re doing something they aren’t supposed to. But, you have to remember that almost everything in a young child’s life is a learning experience. As a parent, you have the unique opportunity to guide that experience for them, one way or another. While you might jump to conclusions about why they do certain things or exhibit certain behaviors, one of the best things you can do is to work toward a better understanding of those actions and behaviors.

For example, your child may be acting out in certain ways due to a bigger issue, like a physical problem. Do they seem to have trouble focusing on one thing for too long? Are they doing poorly in school? Instead of punishing them for such things right away, talk to them about it. You might learn more about the underlying cause, which may even be something like a vision problem that is making life a bit more difficult for them.

It’s also important to consider any other life changes your child may be going through, including:

  • A divorce or separation
  • Moving
  • Changing schools
  • The death of a loved one

By having a better understanding of why your child might be acting a certain way, you can teach them how to change those behaviors into positive actions and work through things in healthy, effective ways.

How to Focus On the Positive Things

Strangely enough, it can often feel easier to address negative behaviors than positive ones. But, you can be positive with your child and still enforce a lesson with positive punishment. Positive punishments:

  • Have meaning
  • Are black and white
  • Solve problems
  • Hold your child accountable for their behavior

But, it’s important to not only focus on punishment and behavioral changes. How can you, instead, pay more attention and address the positive things your child does?

First, again, remember that everything is a learning experience. One of the best things you can do is to teach your child to ask for help in situations where they might be struggling. Kids want to be independent, but encouraging them to ask for help gives them a better opportunity to learn. It also allows you to reinforce positivity in the way you help and guide them.

Focusing on the positive also means encouraging your children to explore and dive deeper into the things that naturally seem to interest them. When your child has more confidence and self-esteem due to positive reinforcement, they may have an easier time learning something new, like a musical instrument or a sport. In turn, that gives you more opportunities to focus on the positive things they’re doing.

So, the next time you’re tempted to scold your child or call them out on negative behavior, make sure you follow it up by addressing some positive things your child does, as well. It’s a small change in your parenting style that can make a big difference.

 

A child chomping on a spoon with their developing teeth.

How to Find the Right Dentist for Your Children’s Needs

A dentist should evaluate your children’s teeth by the time they reach kindergarten age. Some parents take their toddlers to the dentist, especially if they are concerned about dental development or note potential problems. Finding a good family dentist who accepts children as patients should be a priority, and it is not difficult.

Ask Around

Consult your relatives, coworkers, neighbors, and community associates about the dentists that care for their children’s teeth. You will start to get an idea of the practitioners that people like and those they don’t. Ask if they can recommend their family dentist to others, like you, who are looking for a family dental practice.

Check Social Media

If you are a member of various social media networks, see what other members are saying about dentists they go to. If the subject hasn’t come up, raise the question with those those whose opinion you trust. There may be dentists who are members of the same networks you have joined, and you can learn quite a bit from their posts and interactions with other members. Social media can show something about 

Visit Dentist Websites

Use your Internet browser to find local dentists that take children as patients. Visit their websites to learn more about their experience, skills, and specialties. Look at their credentials and take the visual tour of their office if they have posted a video. They might also have patient testimonials that could be helpful as well. You might find separate reviews not on the dentists’ websites that give your honest and detailed reviews about a particular dental practice. You can find out about their payment plans and which is a Medicaid dentist if that is your specific need.

Schedule an Introductory Visit

Call one or more dental offices to ask about stopping by. You may be invited to walk through the dental practice to meet the staff. Such a tour can help you get a better idea of the facility and amenities. You might be able to schedule a visit to sit down with the dentist and/or a staff member like the office manager to discuss your children’s dental needs. If the practice does not allow visitors to come for a tour, you can schedule a simple service, like a basic checkup and teeth cleaning, to see how everything goes. If your child is comfortable, and you feel the service is professional at reasonable cost, you can sign up to be a regular patient for all future services.

Finding the right dentist is important for your child’s oral health. Make time to find one that best fits your family’s dental needs.

Help your kids manage separation anxiety with our children’s book See You Soon –

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Teaching Your Children the Importance of Morality

As a society we’re faced with a great many challenges. One of the aspects of our humanity that helps us to navigate challenges is a solid sense of morality. Wherever our morality is derived — whether from a personal set of ethics, social expectations, or religious doctrine — it tends to help guide our actions in ways we consider to be positive.

One of our responsibilities as parents, guardians, and mentors is to instil in the next generation a strong sense of values. That said, while subjects such as telling the truth may seem basic, knowing how to effectively teach morality to children is not always simple. The practicalities of morality in the real world can be laden with grey areas and subtle applications.

So, what’s the best approach to take when imparting ethical ideas to your children? What tools and devices can help strengthen this aspect of their character? How do we tackle the sometimes quite complex nature of morality?

Use Supportive Resources

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Chances are, your first foray into teaching children about morality is simply telling them an act is right or wrong. However, they’re likely to follow this up with questions that might well be difficult to answer. Indeed, children may well find elements of these lessons difficult to grasp and retain, if they are just being lectured — this is difficult enough for us as adults! It’s certainly in your best interests to use resources that support the information you’re trying to impart.

Books will always be one of the most versatile and accessible tools at your disposal here. Certainly, there are books written around specific moral subject matter, and others present situations that raise questions of ethics. The key in either case is to seek out entertaining and informative stories. For younger children, pop-up books can be particularly effective because these books use images in a novel way that encourages engagement and interactions. The Color Monster is an excellent example of a pop-up book that uses interactive imagery to reinforce how our emotions affect us and our actions.

Click for Book

Alongside books, it’s also okay to use movies and TV shows as supportive resources. Build a book collection that allows you to respond to teachable moments. The point in either case is not to seek to have the resource do all the heavy lifting. Use them as conversation openers and examples. Ask your child how they thought a character should have acted and why, share with them your own takes about why an action was right, wrong, or in a grey area.

Incorporating Play

As any professional teacher will tell you, trying to keep kids’ attention on a subject by simply talking at them for any significant period of time is a recipe for disaster! They get bored easily, and are more likely to tune out from the great moral lesson you’re earnestly attempting to pass on. But this boredom can also serve a vital purpose. It gives them license to explore ideas, engage with more physical and creative activities, and grow as people. When the talking has begun to grow old, you can harness their boredom by incorporating activities that help solidify the lesson.

Role playing can be really useful here. Kids are often keen to act out their fantasies, and you could introduce scenarios that offer moral dilemmas or insights into behavior. Don’t make it dull or forced, but give your child a chance to see how situations can arise, and how to approach them.

For kids aged around 6 and over, table top role-playing games such as Dungeons and Dragons or No Thank You, Evil! provide a fun way to confront your children with difficult ethical situations, and talk through how and why their character is making certain decisions. Perhaps more importantly, they provide a safe forum to demonstrate what the consequences of immoral actions can be.

Sports have also long been an excellent medium of teaching children morality. We often use the term “good sportsmanship” when talking about conduct, but what we really mean is a moral and fair approach to our play. Sports provide us with a set of rules to observe, and you can use these to demonstrate how — just like in real life — they are not in place to restrict our enjoyment, but to ensure everybody gets an equal chance to thrive.

Lead by Example

Incorporating play and utilizing books are good routes into teaching children about morality. However, these pale in comparison with your influence as their parent. Children are always watching you, taking mental notes from your example on how to behave, and using it to inform their worldview. You can’t take a “do as I say, not as I do” approach to morality with kids; you have to walk the walk.

Obviously, this starts with paying close attention to the choices you make in their presence, and how your choices might be perceived by them or contradict your previous lessons. If you intend to hold them to a high moral standard, you must exhibit this yourself.

However, this doesn’t mean to say that you need to always act in a morally “perfect” manner. You’re human, after all! Involve your children in your ethical dilemmas, talk to them about events that have happened during the day, how you acted, and how you could have made better choices.

You can’t underestimate how important it is for your children to see you as an ethically flawed person. This shows that while it’s important to set high standards for ourselves, it’s also okay to fail as long as we learn from it. Invite them to let you know, when they think you’ve acted in a way that is contradictory to your lessons, and start a discussion.

This approach to morality encourages an open dialogue between you and your kids. They will have difficult moral issues themselves in the years to come, and they’ll feel more able to ask for help or guidance.

Conclusion

Our kids are taking their first steps into a world that is filled with moral dilemmas. It’s important to approach this difficult area in a way that both demonstrates practical application, and asserts that mistakes will be made. By teaching children about morality with a variety of tools, you can not only impart advice but also forge a stronger bond.

Jori Hamilton is an experienced writer living in the Northwestern U.S. She covers a wide range of subjects but takes a particular interest in covering topics related to child development, parenting, and health and wellness. To learn more about Jori, you can follow her on Twitter.
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Top 5 Web-Series for Kids to Watch

Lost In Space

Lost In Space is a perfect mix of sci-fi, adventure and drama all packed into one series. This web-series follows the adventures of the Robinson family, whose spaceship gets lost in space and lands on an unknown planet. Will, Judy and Penny, the three Robinson siblings along with their parents dare to take on the unpredictable environment, aliens, robots and other conniving survivors on the unknown planet. Lost In Space is an absolutely addictive series, so don’t forget to keep that popcorn ready. Definitely a family binge-watch!
Watch Season 1 and 2 on Netflix.

Raising Dion

Raising Dion is the story of a single-mother Nicole and her son Dion, who begins to display some superhero powers. Nicole, who is slowly coping with the loss of her husband Mark, now has a new task of figuring out where and how Dion got his superpowers. She along with Mark’s best friend Pat, are on a mission to uncover the truth. Dion goes on to explore his magical powers and realizes all doesn’t seem to be how it is. An interesting web-series and a must-watch for little kids!
Watch Season 1 on Netflix.

 

The Unlisted

Unlisted is an Australian drama web-series that follows the story of identical twins – Dhruv and Kal. A secret government organization plans to control and track Australian students by implanting them with electronic chips. The Twins uncover this dark truth and set out on a journey to save themselves and others like them, who form the mysterious Infinity group. Unlisted should definitely be on your list if you like an exhilarating watch, which keeps you on the edge of your seat.
Watch Season 1 on Netflix.

 

Gortimer Gibbon’s Life On Normal Street

Gortimer Gibbon’s is the story of Gortimer and his two bestfriends, Mel and Ranger. Together the three friends go about on an adventurous journey in the ordinary suburb of Normal Street. This web-series filled with lost fables, ghost stories and magical adventures makes a fun watch for children of all ages.
Watch Season 1 and 2 on Amazon Prime Video.

 

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This web-series chronicles the tale of three orphans – Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who are on a mission to investigate the tragic and mysterious death of their parents. Count Olaf, their evil guardian is out to get his hands on the Baudelaires’ inheritance. In this quest of Good v/s Evil, the three Baudelaire children must outsmart Olaf and overcome many trials. The series is based on the best-selling series of books by Lemony Snicket (aka Daniel Handler).
Watch Season 1, 2 and 3 on Netflix.

 

IF you enjoyed our recommendations, you will certainly enjoy our children’s book. “Why do I look different? ” , the answer many mothers get asked.

 

This Mother's Day Do Not Forget These Mothers

This Mother’s Day Do Not Forget These Mothers

Mothers Day is coming soon…

A day to celebrate mothers.
A day to acknowledge their contribution in our lives.
A day for mothers to bask in the care and affection of the family.
A day for children to show their love.
A lot of thought, effort and time goes into making the day special..

But what of the mom who has lost her child?
What of the mother who is grieving for the child and the future that they lost?
What of the mother who does not have a child to shower their love on her?
What of the bereaved mother or Vilomah (Sanskrit word for bereaved parents)

The mother who carried her child within her for days and then had to let them go
The mother who built dreams around her child, which came crashing down
The mother who lost the love of her life through no fault of her own
The mother who has lost her reason to live and happiness seems a distant memory

 

She eagerly awaits the phone calls that no longer come
The frequent text messages and funny videos that don’t come too
She relives the long walks, the long talks, the Sunday brunches, the midweek lunches
The surprise flowers, her favorite chocolates and special gifts

The denial, the guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the anger, the memories
Don’t really go away with the passage of time
People stop talking about the child and want you to snap out of it
That you have got to get out of this zone

Does a person want to be in a perpetual circle of sorrow and grief?
Does a person want to continue to mourn unendingly?
Does a person want to forget a vital part of their very soul and being?
The mother is just crying out in silent screams
She is just wanting for her love to be talked about
She just wants the assurance that you will not forget her child
The length of their journey on earth doesn’t matter.. She misses them dearly.. 

She had promised that she would protect and keep the child safe
She had promised that she would raise them up to the best of her ability
She had promised that she will weave a perfect family and a perfect future..


The broken promises cry out to her.
The silent nursery / room screeches in her ears.
The beautiful face is a constant wallpaper in her mind.
Her empty arms are not able to reach out to her child .
The loneliness is stifling her more and more each day.

This first Sunday of May, do say a little prayer for the bereaved moms
On International Bereaved Mothers Day, touch the life of just one Vilomah
Just be there for her, just lend a ear, just talk to her and let her talk..
That’s all she wants, that’s all she ever wanted..
For her child to be remembered and not forgotten and their memories honored… 

The world may not recognize her as a mother.
As her child is no longer here with her.
She may be broken but trying to put back together the pieces
She is still a mother at heart, in her mind and in her soul
Celebrate the day, celebrate her motherhood, celebrate her, celebrate her child..
She is a mother too…

International Bereaved Mother's Day

 

Learn more about International Bereavement Mother’s Day here.

Teaching Mother tongue

Teaching the Mother Tongue to Children in a Foreign Country

Being bilingual is beneficial for children. People who know more than one language have better problem-solving skills and are good at decision making as per the latest research. If you are like me, who relocated to a foreign country, do you feel difficult to teach mother tongue to your kids?

When we moved to the USA 2 years ago, we visited a doctor for a regular checkup for my kids, the doctor asked if my toddler can speak/ understand 2 languages. I said, “yes”. She told me that it is good for the development of children to learn more than one language and she encouraged me to continue teaching 2 languages to my children. But, Teaching the mother tongue to children in a foreign country is not that easy as everyone around our kids speak one language which influences them more. My children speak English fluently with friends and teachers and converse in “Telugu” (our mother tongue – a South Indian Language) at home.

Here is a post on a few tips for the parents staying in foreign countries to teach mother tongue to their children.

Teaching Mother tongue

1. Speak the mother tongue at home:

Learning always starts at home for children. If we speak in our native language to our kids, they tend to catch the words and use them. The only way to teach a new language is to get them exposed to the vocabulary in that language. By constantly listening to the language at home, children learn quickly. Start with teaching simple instructions like – “Switch on the light” and get them familiar with basics like greeting others, asking for help, requesting and thanking someone.

2. Make writing the new language a part of their homework:

If we have to separately teach Telugu at our home, it is tough as the concentration levels of children below 7 years is not more than 20 to 30 mins. So, I make it a part of their homework. After finishing their class homework, they spend only 10 mins writing the Telugu alphabets. After the children learn all the alphabets we can move to forming words and sentences and making them write simple words like their name, some objects/ toys they like etc.,

3. Read stories in native language:

Reading stories is the best way to teach anything to the children. They focus and understand better when anything is narrated as a story. So, get some books of your native language and read them daily. This way, they catch the new words and sentences and even try to use them when they speak.

4. Encourage and Correct their mistakes then and there:

When children try a new language, they are hesitant if they are using right words or not. So, encourage them to speak and help them with the vocabulary. If they use wrong words/ make mistakes while speaking, gently correct them then and there, so that they won’t forget. Use the language that they are comfortable with(like English) as a medium to teach new words and their meanings so that they can correlate both the languages easily.

5. Use tools/ aids to support learning:

We can make use of word games to encourage kids to learn new words. Crossword puzzles, word jumble, and Pictionary are some of the fun ways to teach languages. We can ask kids to identify the letters, form sentences using specific words and even ask them to give an impromptu speech for one minute on their favorite topic. Watching movies in our native language also improves vocabulary to a great extent.

Click here to download our comprehensive checklist. A great tool to make sure your kids speak their native language. 

Numerous studies have shown that learning more than one language can improve brain function and can help in multitasking. It is surprising to know that being bilingual also slows the aging process.

Can your children speak 2 languages? Do you encourage them to learn a new language? If you are in a foreign country, do you teach your children your mother tongue? Let me know if any of my tips find helpful.

 Mahathi Ramya is a mom of 2 boys, a blogger, software testing professional and a classical dance teacher. She writes on books, travel, and parenting. She loves writing, traveling and painting a lot.