Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

by with 13 Comments ContemporaryMindsetSocial Media

Yet another dangerous challenge is doing the rounds on the internet. A mom finds videos on YouTube that tells kids to do harmful things to themselves or others through MOMO Challenge. I have known for quite some time that YouTube if not used in limit has the potential to be very harmful to kids and their mindset. At the end of the day, it is a tool to be wielded by the person holding it. As a gadget or as a weapon.

Using YouTube as a Crutch for Education and Baby Sitting

It happens often with new parents and it was with me also. When he was small, I let my son watch the fun animated videos on YouTube. Keeping him occupied, it was super convenient for me to work around the house or just do my thing. Soon he was watching kids unboxing videos and being adamant that he wants the same toys. He was so attracted to it all!

We observed the change in his behavior just in time, I think. Ask him to stop watching and he would revolt!

We decided to stop giving him the device then. Any videos online were watched only once a week, or as a treat for doing something that we couldn’t get them to do otherwise. Till the day I saw him watching a video on YouTube-Kids where Spiderman and Elsa were pregnant and talking about babies. I went online and found that this was very common where toys would talk about adult topics.

That was the last time we let kids have Youtube in their hands.

From then on, any video would only be streamed on TV and only those that I had researched.

youtube harmful kids safely

Affect of Online Propaganda As Kids Get Older

But it doens’t end there. Even with those videos streamed, the advertising certainly become a bane during shopping as kids request for things that we have never even heard of. It breeds materialism, at such an early age. Instead of advertising to parents, now stores have direct access to little children. Which is why we need to talk to them early about having enough and buying only what we really need.

But it isn’t only toys. The propaganda can go in deep.

One day, we were driving around and my son, then 7, spotted a political poster. He repeated verbatim the negative campaigning we had seen on YouTube before you can skip ad.  We had laughed over how often those ads keep coming up, but it had not occurred to me how much of an impact they were having on my family’s vision of the world we lived in.

Here was my son repeating something he had no idea about, without any proof himself. How horrendous it is to have the whole coming generation blatantly influenced so negatively!


 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful To Kids

Idle Time Consumption

In the  time a child could be creating or discovering the outside or their own thought processes, they are busy consuming content that may or may not be productive towards their growth.

Instant Gratification

YouTube gives you what you want at the click of a button. It gives them a false sense of adrenaline rush to get what they want the moment they want it. Life does not work that way and this is disturbing.

Dangerous Hidden and Not so Hidden Propaganda

As seen with the recent discovery of the MOMO Challenge and earlier when they were showing adult content through kids’ videos, these challenges and trends will keep happening again and again people find ways to influence children in a disgusting or subtle way. Some ways are clearly obvious, others not so much.

Peer Pressure

In a time  when we want them more than ever to be able to stand their ground in the face of external influence, we let them watch videos of advertisements of kids playing video games or unboxing toys or just playing pranks. And of course once, they start looking up to a certain YouTube star, they want to use what they are using and doing.

Unregulated CONTENT

In a time when we should actually be very cautious about what we let our children watch and the age rating of something, instead we let them have a gadget and watch whatever their little hearts lean towards. Which can possibly have anything within. It is so unfortunate though now, that they let free on a platform that is totally unregulated, with videos being uploaded every few minutes.

Distorted Thinking

The constant instant gratification and change in video watching as they scroll through different topics makes kids unable to learn to focus. They learn way more than their little minds can comprehend and that leads to distracted and distorted view of the real world.

Reality TV for Kids

This is my personal peeve since I do not approve of any reality television. Even though most people know it is scripted, to show people in such a vulnerable and bad lighting in the guise of popular television is just sad. It makes us all so cynical of the world view for it is real life but people play games with each other’s emotions for money or fame. And what is YouTube but reality television for children.

Emotional Impact

As I mentioned my personal experience, I could visibly see my son’s behaviour change for the worse and it was clear to me the impact the incessant scrolling was having on him. And I believe that goes a long way to show the impact on any child for the above reasons. When they do not get their fix, they retaliate violently, which only grows.

Eye Strain

Very recently people have come across the harmful effects of screen time. Recently when getting my son glasses, the technician said get the expensive ones that help against gadget use. My answer was that my kids do not use gadgets that much yet.

How to Use YouTube Safely

No Personal Account for Kids

Please do not give little kids their own accounts. Yes, it avoids your personal account being flooded by kids videos but it is totally not needed for kids to feel in ownership for YouTube account. The moment kids feel in charge, they start watching whatever they feel like.

Clear Your Browser History

We are adults who sometimes click on things that are inappropriate. And that leads to YouTube showing videos that are similar in the suggested video section. Make sure to clear your browser history to ensure kids do not end up even watching a thumbnail that is inappropriate.

Make Kids Watch YouTube on TV

Anything they watch should be streamed via television through chormecast, roku, apple etc where everyone can see what is being consumed. Stay close and monitor often what kids are watching.

Make a Playlist

This is tedious but very important for your child’s safetly. Go through every video you plan to let them watch and make an approved playlist of the videos.

Talk to Kids About What to Watch and how to behave online

No matter how safe you be, it could still happen that they go to someone’s house and watch something inappropriate. With my son, I have told him he goes to people’s house to play, not to watch TV or play videos games. So when someone suggests to watch TV, it’s time to go home. Also, I have talked to my son about how important it to to behave appropriately online as it is just like in real life. With cyber bullying rampant, it is so much more important for kids to know early how to be online.

Download Control Apps

Mcafee safe family – Download this or any other app to keep an eye on what your child is doing online. You can track all your devices. My husband and I have the app in our phones and we can check which sites they are visiting and which videos they are watching on YouTube. You can block the sites from the app too.

Enable YouTube Safety Mode on computers

Go to the bottom of any YouTube page and turn Safety Mode on.  (Learn how).  Safety Mode won’t catch everything – even YouTube acknowledges this – but it will prevent some unsavory content from younger eyes. For example, with Safety Mode turned on you cannot watch the video titled “Call Me Maybe (Dirty Parody)”.  The other nice thing about Safety Mode is that user comments are not immediately visible.  You have to specifically click to view them.  This is my favorite feature of Safety Mode.  Sometimes the video itself is fine, but the comments are rude, mean, and totally inappropriate.

Set a Time or videos Limit

As with everything, moderation needs to be promoted within children to impart self control. Make sure they know not to exceed 20 mins of time or 3 videos or a pre decided limit.

Make Videos a Treat

In my home, video watching on YouTube on television is a treat that they get as a bonus when they achieved something.

Use outdoors, Books and Streaming sources Instead

All the things you find easy to do with YouTube, can just as easily be done with books. The local library and book stores are wonderful resources to provide your child for endless wonderment. All the shows your kids so love are easily available on Prime Video or Netflix or for free on PBS Kids or Disney. Create a love in your child for reading or let them spend time outdoors.

 


Don’t Fall for ” YouTube-Kids is safe “

No matter what, Youtube or any platform that is not controlled by moderators is open for unsafe content being uploaded onto it. In different ways. So make sure you do not give kids access to your gadget or online videos in the false notion that it is  safe.

The only safe way for kids is to be constantly vigilant on what they are consuming, searching for what is appropriate content online and then making sure our children have only limited use.

What tips would you add to this? Comment below and share with other parents.

 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful & How to Use it Safely

The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

by with 7 Comments Education

When I was a kid, my mum was very good at sewing and cooking. She cooked very tasty meals and could stitch up any torn or loosened cloth in the house. Her sewing skills came very handily in those moments when a button on our uniforms or clothes came loose, say on a school morning. What about cloth fittings and adjustments? She was just a pro!

I think she got the traits from her own mum who ran a fashion house and a bakery when they were kids. In those days as kids — and even till today — if you haven’t tasted my mum’s chicken, then you’re missing out.

As kids, my siblings and I were very keen on learning especially about sewing. When I went away to a boarding school, the skill was handy as well to me whenever I got a tear or any loose threads on the seams of my uniform and other clothing. I was very good that other students trusted me with their own sewing work.

On a lighter note, if I had the business sense I have now, I’d have monetized it and made money from all those students.

We also learned to cook superb meals from our mum. Today, we are armed with so much life skills that we can survive in any circumstance.

If you have children, you should know the importance of having them acquire sewing and cooking skills. By learning sewing and cooking skills, your child is not only learning life skills that will be useful to them in the future, but it will afford you the opportunity to spend quality time with your kids.

sewing cooking children

By the time they’d be old enough to leave home, you’ll not only be proud that they are sufficiently skilled in the kitchen as well as with sewing, but you’ll be glad you established the kind of relationship with your kids that can only come from bonding with them while doing projects like this.

Without further ado, let’s get down to our topic to discover the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children.


Your children learn to be committed to their goals

When you get your children to learn sewing and cooking, you’re actually teaching them commitment. As learners, they are bound to experience some challenges. They will certainly get stuck somewhere and will feel the frustration that comes with drawbacks when something is not working as expected.

They will learn to remain focused and committed to their goals until it is achieved. This is an invaluable life-long skill that can make them successful in their careers and goals in life.

So, get down to it! Get them started with some easy sewing projects for children and along the line, introduce them to more technical and harder projects.

It can bring out the creative side of your children

We all know that a skill like cooking is all about creativity. Recipes are not written in stone. Getting your children to cook introduces them to the flexibility of the skill and can bring out their possibly redundant and untapped creative mind.

Sewing too is not left out. When you engage your children in sewing projects, you’re basically training them to be creative — and that’s a good thing for their future.

It boosts their self-confidence

We cannot count the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children without mentioning the dose of confidence it gives them. This self-confidence comes from the sense of accomplishment that they feel when they have achieved or created something. Their new ability to start something and finish it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes, it could be a new recipe that they have never used before, a meal they thought was way beyond their skill level, or even a sewing project they thought was too big for them which later turned out perfect. Whatever it is, completing such projects and doing it well can give their self-confidence a mighty boost. They will learn that they can do anything as long as they put their minds to it.

They learn service

Cooking especially inculcates in a child, a sense of service to people around them. By cooking family meals, they are actually serving the family and will through it, learn to serve others and show them love by preparing and serving them good meals.

They do not only learn to serve others but themselves too. They will learn to do things for themselves and not sit by, expecting other people to wait on them. Sewing teaches them to find a solution to their problems and actually solve them.

It enhances their motor skills.

Sewing especially can help your children develop their motor skills. By cutting out a pattern and following it to sew and create what they want, they are actually training the dexterity of their fingers and developing fine motor skills that will benefit them in the future.

Finally, the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children cannot be overemphasized. It helps them become more coordinated, patient and responsible. They will become go-getters so get your children sewing and cooking today!

 


The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Chidlren. Are you empowering them for the future ?

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

by with 8 Comments HeritageLanguages

My son refused to speak or learn Hindi. Even though, we could see he could understand Hindi completely. How we knew was when his grandparents were visiting and he responded appropriately to their discussion solely in Hindi about when they should go back. Besides, he would vehemently respond should we ever talk about something he did not want to do. But embracing it, was a struggle!

We also made a lot of mistakes in teaching it to him. “The cries of I’m American, why do I need to learn Hindi?” ran rampant in our home. The conversations about how important it is to speak two or more languages went long and hard.

But why did this reluctance exist at all? I thought about it and related to it with my own upbringing.

My mother tongue, the language I grew up with, would ideally be English. Since I spoke it most often with my parents, friends, teachers etc. The language of my mother though is Marathi. The language spoken in my maiden home is Hindi as is the same that is spoken in my home today, other than English. My mother tried to teach me Marathi but at the time, I jumbled them all and she dropped it. Gave her an edge to talk in secret with her family members too. haha! I did learn to understand it completely but I wish today I had all the advantages to learning a native language. After all, most people around me are multilingual.

With my son, a mindset shift needed to be made.

What do do when your child refuses to learn their native language

Being Persistent

Once I realized the mistakes I had been making,  I worked on improving on them. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have. I used many practical ways to ensure that we made the effort to learn the language. The persistence would eventually pay off when all the tips were combined with the below. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have.

Working with Siblings

It was gradual, the shift in mindset. I kept working with my children constantly. With my two children I have often seen that if I need one to learn something, being persistent with one improves the other. Seeing his sister picking up the language so excitedly, sparked an interest and maybe a little competition edge too as he would see our joy at her attempts.

Friends Who Spoke Their Own Native Language

This was a wonderful happenstance. During play dates, his friends would talk about going to learn their mother languages and one even spoke to me in Marathi. That made him realize that this is something most people do. And it is fun when you can connect with your friends. Even in my book, I have used Hindi proverbs to bring home life lessons that are essential for children to grow with strong values.

Speaking It With My Own Friends

It is rude to talk in a different language in front of others, but bringing it up in reference to something while talking about life back home or how something is done in your own heritage or maybe a quote shows kids that there are things unique to your language that is interesting. Kids are always listening. 

Watching Fun Movies

Most Hindi movies are not very child friendly. I found a few that I knew would pique his interest. About warriors, sports etc that had good messages. Reading subtitles, he developed a desire to watch more content.

Simplifying The Learning

I did everything. Made up simple stories. Taught them a couple of words a day. Fun little quizzes when we were walking around. Spoke to them only in Hindi on weekends.

I essentially took the pressure off the learning. Instead of committing a time, I did it almost all day long, in various sneaky ways. The progress he shows now is overwhelming. His sister is way ahead of him now, but his desire to learn his mother tongue is heart warming.

What helps YOU in teaching your kids? Was anyone you know ever reluctant to learn their mother language? What helped them in the mental shift?

You can grab our free checklist for making sure kids speak their native language OR get my bestselling book that talks about multilingualism in detail with many practical tips to help your child.

 


7 Reasons Why Your Child Should Get into Arts & Crafts

by with 7 Comments Education

Engaging in arts and crafts projects could transform your home into a mess. Bear in mind however that your kids are learning very important skills that will help them in school and life. Although, arts and crafts could be messy for kids as it translates into a typhoon of paint, toll tubes, toilet papers, etc. It is actually a worthy cause.

If you resent the idea of engaging in arts and crafts with your kids, it might help to be aware that they can learn a wide range of skills. They get to improve on learning, build on their creativity, boost their confidence and you have some quality time together. This written piece will address the top seven reasons why your child should get involved:

1.       They learn Commitment

Being able to complete projects is a way to build commitment in kids. Commencing an art project no matter how small gives children the pride and satisfaction that comes with getting it completed. You have to start small with the kid and as the child grows, introduce technical and hard projects that will take more time.

Seeing as kids can get easily distracted, it helps to introduce a zero tolerance policy for abandoned projects. Doing this will teach them life-long lessons always to follow through with what they start.

Photo by Alex Jones on Unsplash

2.       They get to use their Imagination

Arts and crafts give a kid the chance to be creative. It allows them to use their imagination and come up with whatever they desire. By being creative, they get to express themselves and even personalize their craft project. While their creativity or personalization might look odd to you, it is their way of expressing themselves. Asides, allowing them to personalize, their arts and crafts projects give them the chance to come up with something “creative in their world.” There are many easy projects kids can make and later gift them.

3.       Improvement in School Work

One of the bright sides of arts and crafts is the importance it brings to the kid’s education. Kids get to see practical concepts that are tricky to grasp. With a little lateral thinking, they get to see this concept from another dimension which will make more sense to them.

Building a house from various day to day items, for instance, could help make the understanding of 3D shapes stick to memory.

Kids would prefer to see their favorite comic character painted with scraps of colored cloths. This will make reading fun and build their interest in discovering more.

4.       They Learn Social Skills and Team Work

Joint work with your kid on an art and craft project is a proven way to build their team spirit. Not only that, they build their social skills, communication skills and learn to cooperate and communicate among their peers to get a project to completion.

Building a team spirit into your kid early in life is a quality that will stay with them for life. This valuable skill will make them almost indispensable in all walks of life.

5.       Teaches Your Child to Follow Instructions

Crafts, arts are distinct activities that offer a unique learning opportunity for your child. According to Anna Reyner, an American art therapist, “While art is flexible or ‘unstructured’ activity, crafts are structured with specific direction.”

Hence with crafts, kids are made to learn to follow instructions. This is because they will have to go through a process to achieve the desired aim. Also, kids get to see the consequences of not following instructions. They see clearly what happens when instructions are ignored.

6.       Crafting Develops Fine Motor Skills

Simple activities in crafts and arts like cutting, sticking, gumming, coloring and following line pattern can help in building fine motor skill. It is also a way to improve hand to eye coordination in children. This task doesn’t have to be technical. It can be as simple as separating the triangles of a tissue paper and arranging them up in the right shape.

Kids learn to follow instructions to complete an activity and also build their motor skills through paper art crafts like these.

7.       Building their Problem Solving Skills

Kids who are a bit matured could be asked to recreate a piece of craft. These could be a photo which can be created with simple household items. With this, they learn to pay attention to things and get even more creative in the process – by looking for alternatives to things not available at home.

This will help them to use their imagination and creativity to think outside the box – a skill that will be helpful later in life.

Conclusion

There are many benefits that your child will benefit from going into arts and crafts. Thus, you just have to look past the mess and allow your kids to express themselves through arts. You will be surprised at how creative they can get!

What is your child’s favorite activity ?

  About the author: Annabelle Carter Short is a freelance writer/editor and seamstress of more than 7 years. She also works with few organizations to provide families with the best resources for raising and educating a special needs child. When not working, she’s spending time with her family or putting pen to paper for her own personal pursuits. Annabelle likes to make DIY and crafty projects in her free time with her two kids: Elizabeth (age 6) and Michael (age 8).

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

by with 7 Comments BooksVoicesworld changers

1. How did you come about your passion/profession?

      Blanca discovered her love of the world early on while listening to stories of exotic locals from her grandmothers. After going on to become a globe trotter herself, she settled into life in Southern California as a preschool teacher and daycare owner. She discovered her passion when she brought different cultures into her daycare in the form of multicultural foods, music, and art projects to share with the children she cared for. When she was ready to retire, she created Joy Sun Bear and teamed up with Shearin and John Lee to be able to continue sharing the world with kids. She is one of the co-authors and founder of Joy Sun Bear.
      John’s passion was always creating, either in the form of stories or art. Though his career led him through the military into the technical world of data analysis, art and fiction remained his steadfast companions. When the opportunity to join Joy Sun Bear came along, John was all in, excited to see what years of drawing and writing could become. As a passionate father and husband, John was pleased to find a chance to show his daughter that hard work and dedication can create amazing things. John is the co-author and illustrator for Joy Sun Bear.
      Shearin graduated with a degree in Public Relations from USC. Immediately after, however, she found herself in a new town with new priorities. Fast forward several years to her and John’s partnership with Blanca, and she now finds herself thrust into the world of social media management, networking, and brand development as the Creative Director for Joy Sun Bear, Inc. Though she never expected to find herself in this role, she’s found that learning the ins and outs of managing a young startup has brought more opportunity to learn and grow than she ever thought it would. In addition to building the JSB brand, Shearin’s other passion is being an involved Mom for her and John’s eight year old daughter. She loves volunteering at school and working with kids.

2. Tell us about your family.

      Blanca was born in New York, but moved back to Colombia and grew up there. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. She has two kids who are all grown up and living on their own. She lives in Southern California with her husband after living on both coasts of the US and even across the pond in London, England.
      John has lived most of his life in California, with brief stays in other states – and a year long stay in South Korea – during his time in the U.S. Army. He now lives in Southern California with Shearin and their daughter.
    Shearin grew up in Utah, moved to Maryland and then to California. Though they have both spent the vast majority of their life in the U.S., Shearin’s parents were born in Iran, and she was raised with significant Persian cultural influence. For John and Shearin, merging their lives also meant learning how to blend two different cultures together. Both have found the process of learning what culture is and how it affects their lives enlightening and inspiring.
3. What do you think are three biggest struggles of parents today?
      1. Teaching your child empathy for not only others, but for themselves as well.
      2. Teaching children to respect rules and authority while teaching them to push beyond their limitations and the boundaries placed on them by others (emotionally or legally).
      3. Explaining some of the actions of world leaders and the fallout caused in ways that inspire them to make positive changes, rather than just using bleak summaries.

4. Please tell us about your vision for the world.

      Our vision for the world is one where children can feel free to be themselves without feeling fear or judgement. We wish for children to feel empowered from a young age to make positive changes around them, and motivated to continue to do so well into adulthood. We want children, and adults, to remain aware of themselves. Finally, we imagine a world where everyone makes daily decisions with consideration for the planet that we all share, its ecology and ability to support human life. We have created a philosophy called Our Three “E” Philosophy for our brand and products that expresses the following:

5.  Do you have anything exciting for our readers?

     We sure do! Our first book, The Adventures of Joy Sun Bear: The Blue Amber of Sumatra, is a wonderful bestselling chapter book out now on Amazon.com. Packed with diverse, entertaining and charming characters, your child will be sure to get absorbed by the story as the main character, Joy, set’s out on a magical quest. His story is filled with adventure, but also teaches about friendship, compassion, respect, empathy, and responsibility. The story also introduces some important global issues (deforestation and refugees) in a kid-friendly narrative to empower and inspire kids. We also include resources in the back of the book that share different ways children can help with these global issues starting with their own community, also promoting kindness and giving back. We want children, no matter how young or small, to feel that they can make a difference in the world, starting in their own backyard.
      We’re already working on book two, but also making time for digital and in-person school visits. Our book has already been read in classrooms across the globe and our website has been used in classrooms as far away as Australia! You can follow our journey on any of our social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube), and stay up to date on Joy’s adventures!
BOOK DESCRIPTION

Can one sun bear change the world?

Joy Sun Bear spends his days running through the rain forest, eating figs and honey, and teasing his sister. But everything changes when animals escaping the destruction of another forest arrive near his home.

If adjusting to new strangers wasn’t challenging enough, sacred figs go missing and chaos erupts when rumors of a curse begin to spread. To help restore peace in the rainforest, Joy sets out on an adventure filled with illusions, danger, and a mystical stone.

Can Joy discover his inner magic, help his new friends, and accept a mission that will alter his destiny forever?

Freebies for Readers:

      *Get our ebook with colored illustrations for $.99 when you purchase the paperback. Great for holidays to get your own copy and gift the other for someone you love!

*Free Character Coloring Sheets and Reading Comprehension Crossword Puzzle for Download: http://joysunbear.com/blue-amber/

*Learn more about Sumatra with Joy:  Joy shares his travel journal about Sumatra for kids to learn about his home. This includes information about Sumatra, geography, country facts, food, culture, animals and more with a craft, recipe and coloring activity for kids: http://joysunbear.com/explore-with-joy/west-sumatra/

 

AUTHOR BIOS

Blanca Carranza: Co-Author

Blanca Carranza is a former preschool teacher and globetrotter. Born in New York to Colombian parents, she spent her early life traveling around the world and listening to her grandmothers’ stories. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. Her passion for exploring the world, combined with her study of child development, created a unique atmosphere in each of the daycares and preschools she has owned and operated.

From international music, to food, to art, she brought the world to the children she cared for. Before retiring from childcare, she was inspired to create Joy Sun Bear and his adventures so she could continue to help children be happier and learn more about the world. She has two kids of her own, both all grown up, and lives in Southern California with her husband.

John Lee: Co-Author/Illustrator

From driving tanks in the U.S. Army, to problem solving in the IT world, to writing and drawing cute and cuddly animals on magical adventures, John’s life has been fun and diverse.

Drawing and storytelling have always been important hobbies for John. Fueled by books, video games, and copious amounts of coffee, he is always excited to read, watch, or create some adventure-filled fiction.

John adores time with his wife and daughter, who provide a limitless supply of love, inspiration, and motivation. Together they live in sunny Southern California.

Shearin Lee: Creative Director
Shearin was born in the U.S.A and grew up in a multicultural environment with parents of Iranian descent. As a first-generation Iranian-American, Shearin can speak both Farsi and English and loves infusing both heritages into her family’s culture. She values giving back by helping charities raise money and volunteering at her daughter’s elementary school.

Her goal for Joy Sun Bear is to help kids feel comfortable with who they are, explore new friendships with others who are different, and help the world connect and create a sense of unity by learning about each other’s cultures.

      Visit the Website: www.joysunbear.com
The Danger in Over Scheduling Kids - How Much is Too Much?

The Danger in Over Scheduling Kids – How Much is Too Much?

by with 7 Comments Parenting

Zoo class. Dance class. Scouts. Science hour at the museum. Soccer. Basketball. Karate. Gymnastics. Violin. Art class. There are so many different activities for kids to participate in. It’s easy to be tempted to sign an eager kid up for every opportunity you come across – but is it good to do so? Are we in danger of over-scheduling our kids?

The Feast of Opportunity

I home school, so the temptation to take advantage of every activity offering my kids the opportunity to be around other kids is strong. After all,One of the nice things about homeschooling is freeing the kids up to participate in a variety of activities. But even for those who don’t homeschool, there is a plethora of after school activities available to choose from. But how do you know when enough is enough? Is there too much of a good thing?

It feels like kids today have more options than ever before. Most museums and zoos offer a wide variety of classes. There’s in home and out of home instruction. If you live in a college town, the university offers a variety of opportunities for kids. Schools have before and after school programs as well as a selection of clubs from which to choose. There are community center classes and studio classes. Some places even offer foreign language instruction to children. That doesn’t even include Girl Scouts and Scouts, 4-H, youth groups, and other community opportunities existing for kids.

Time Management

Commitments add up pretty quickly. While it may feel like an hour here, and an hour there, kids still have to get to their activities. Not only does over-scheduling children have a negative effect on kids, but it can have a big negative effect on family life as a whole. Carting kids around from activity to activity means that someone is in the car an awful lot, leading to a more sedentary lifestyle. The likelihood of picking up food from a drive through goes up when kids are over-scheduled, and parents’ don’t get much downtime for themselves.

It’s important to factor in the time it takes to get to and from activities into one’s schedule before committing to another activity.

Signs a Child is Over-Scheduled

If a child is losing interest in activities that he or she once enjoyed, it could be the case that he or she is over-scheduled and stressed. Sometimes, it’s harder for kids than it is for adults to speak up about their needs for downtime – especially because our kids want us to be happy. If your child has no interest in previous things he or she enjoyed, it may be time to cut back on some activities.

Burnout isn’t the only sign a child is over-scheduled. If a child doesn’t have time for a social life or sitting and vegetating in front of a television set for an hour or two, it’s going to be more difficult for that child to learn how to just be. It’s actually good for kids to be bored once in a while or sit and watch the paint on the wall. Not only can this lead to creative spurts, but it can also help your child recharge so that he or she is processing what was learned through a day.

Frequent complaints about stomach aches, headaches, or other physical discomfort can be a sign that your child is experiencing the physical side effects of stress.

Another sign a child is overschedules is an increase in the number of mood swings or in the frequency of grumpy moods and tantrums. Kids who don’t get enough time to just sit or have open-ended play are also likely to have a difficult time calming for sleep and getting restful sleep. Some activities could cut into times that would otherwise be used for napping or sleeping at night. Remember, kids still need a lot of sleep.

A final sign a child is over-scheduled is that the child starts to do poorly in school. Learning needs a certain amount of intellectual energy. If a child isn’t having regular downtime and time free from scheduled commitments, then burnout is a real threat, and just like with adults, it can bleed over into every area of life.

How to Prevent Over-Scheduling

It’s okay if your child doesn’t take every opportunity that comes his or her way. In fact, learning how to say “no” to things is an important part of growing up and choosing the path that one will follow. Offering choices – gymnastics or Scouts, youth group or art class, can help your child start to prioritize what he or she wants to focus on in non-academic time.

Let your child choose his or her activities. Sure, for the preschool set, it’s fine to sign a child up for an activity or two to test the waters, but older kids have preferences. Be willing to listen to your child’s feedback. If soccer isn’t working out, it’s okay for your child to not continue it next season – and if over-scheduling isn’t a concern, allow your child to drop it after the commitment to the current season is finished.

Make a master schedule of all  the things your child is committed to already. Be sure to include meal times, self care, sleep, time for homework, and time for schoolwork (if you’re homeschooling) on the schedule. Add in all of the activities your child is already committed to on the schedule. How much free time is left? When will your child have friends over? When will he or she have unstructured time to play?

Learning how to manage a balanced schedule that leaves time for all of life’s activities is an important skill to have – but it’s very important to ensure that the schedule has time for downtime and time for self-care – even for kids.

What will you do to help ensure your child isn’t overbooked?

 

This Holiday Season Remember the Helpers with Gratitude

This Holiday Season Remember the Helpers with Gratitude

by with 6 Comments festivalsMindsetVoices

Remembering the helpers… I am most grateful!

To the volunteers, helpers, emergency services workers, teachers, family, friends, and my mum… I wish to say “Thank you!”

Sometimes we take for granted the helpers in our world!

Today, I was witness to a volunteer, a helper, harassed online for her efforts. Last week, I saw a soccer coach say he has confrontations weekly, for ‘not running his team the “right” way’.

This is not ok! This must stop!

Attention, please! These are our volunteers! People that rearrange their schedules, give up their family time, and do special training so they can be our helpers. If you can do a better job – prove it! Take the course! Be on the receiving end of ungrateful people’s comments week after week.

I understand we are all busy with duties to attend to, errands to run, families to look after, working long days…

When was the last time you actually did not just toss “Thank you” over your shoulder as you departed, in a hurry?

When was the last time you took the time to say “Thank you” to your:

  • Football coach?
  • Netball coach?
  • Librarian?
  • Scouts leader?
  • To the police officer who helped with directions?
  • The nurse taking your blood pressure?
  • The cleaner at work?
  • The postman who delivered your mail?

When was the last time you stopped and said, “Thanks for making my lunch, Mum!”

When was the last time you made the time to stop and validate the contributions people, tirelessly and selflessly, make to our lives?

In this world, at this time, we are quick to criticize all the mistakes people make. We have no trouble pointing out the erroneous grammar in an article we are reading (yes, I am guilty of this too!), a spelling mistake in the book we are reading, and decisions of government we disagree with… but how often do we stop to say “thank you”, and mean it?

A post popped up today from one of my favorite blogs for young children’s books: Growing Book by Book. It talks about books for teaching children about gratitude and appreciation.

In the list is a book recommended for my dyslexic son by one of his teachers. It is called “Thank you, Mr Falker” by Patricia Polacco, about a child’s school experience: her inability to read although she is desperate to do so, several years pass and she still cannot read, then a very special teacher works out her issues, and helps her back on track.-  https://g.co/kgs/goUwzm

I like the reminders to be grateful and appreciative.  The lessons to share with our children but… maybe we can take it one step more… stop and take the time to say “Thank you!”

“Thank you” to our family who always respond when we need their assistance. Sometimes we forget to acknowledge the freedom and thankfulness in just knowing our support network is but a call away.

I live in a bicultural/ biracial family. In our second language Arabic, you do not use the word “Thank you” to your family members. You may assume your request is considered and a response forthcoming with the solution an act of love, and care – your acceptance of their assistance is the only thank you expected. I find it very difficult at times when my family is doing something for me. I am most grateful but my “thank you” always met with surprise and a “You don’t have to thank me, you are family!” The understanding that they do what they can to make each other’s lives easier, and I am by extension of marriage included, is rather humbling.

I am just sitting here thinking….

  • Eighteen months ago, we changed continents.
  • Our majority language became our minority language and our minority language became our majority language.
  • We changed cultures.
  • We changed from living in a house to living in an apartment.

Just one of these things may have been difficult but…

  • I am so grateful for the experience.
  • I am grateful for the new teachers of my children who are working to help us improve our children’s literacy in their new majority language.
  • I am most grateful of all for the family and friends who have supported this move and helped us settle anew!

Who are you grateful for today?

Encouraging Your Child's Confident Entry into High School

Encouraging Your Child’s Confident Entry into High School

by with 5 Comments EducationParentingSchoolsVoices

Being a teenager takes a toll on confidence. Whether it’s starting high school or going to their first school dance, teenagers face a lot of uncharted, oftentimes, scary territory. Instinctively, parents want to do everything they can to boost their child’s confidence and instill a powerful, can-do attitude without adding any arrogance or entitlement. While every teenager is different, there are a few things parents can do to help support their teen as they navigate the halls of high school and their formative teenage years.

Instill Good Study Habits

Transitioning from middle to high school can be overwhelming for teens. From trying to fit in among peers to the additional homework, organization and good study habits are a must.

As they get older, it’s natural for teenagers to want independence and to not be told what to do. However, with so many changes going on at one time, it’s easy for teens to get lost in a sea of homework and fall behind.

Creating an organized space where your teen can study without distraction does wonders to boost a feeling of independence and self-esteem. Encourage consistency when it comes to homework. Give them a window where they choose when they complete it but they still have a timeline in which is needs to be done. However, remember that grades aren’t everything. Helping them become a kind individual who loves life and maintains good mental health is more important than making an A-plus on everything. Encourage them to do their best but be there to support them even when they feel they fall short.

Look For Alternatives They Are Comfortable With

Remember when you were in high school and the only thing you wanted was to be part of the most popular clique? In high school, teens go through a slew of physical changes, and their physical appearance plays an enormous role in confidence levels. Even something as common as needing braces can cause an unnecessary amount of drama. If something makes your child uncomfortable, look into alternatives or compromises.

For example, if your teen needs braces but can’t face their peers with a mouth full of traditional metal braces, you can opt for a clear, Invisalign option. Virtually undetectable on their teeth, not having to worry about teasing at school will also do wonders for your child’s self-confidence. While you may know that things like braces are incredibly common and will probably not single out your child, investing in an alternative that your child feels comfortable with will help them feel more comfortable during this confusing time of change.

Let Them Know You Are There

Not quite an adult, yet not quite a child. So many teenagers feel this way but are afraid to say it. They want to explore their new horizons, but they also need the security that you are there. Stress the importance of feelings, not accomplishments. Sure, you want your teen to get good grades, but how they feel on a daily basis is even more important. Carve out time for just the two of you. Provide the opportunity for them to speak openly with you but also remember not to force it. When they’re comfortable and want to talk, they will.

Even with the best of intentions, there will be times when your teen questions themselves and lack the confidence they need. As a loving parent, just know that while you can guide them, they need to take the first step and understand that it’s all part of growing up. Remind them frequently of how proud you are of them. Even if they don’t shower you with hugs and kisses, it means more than you can imagine.

  Dixie Somers is a freelance writer who loves to write for business, health, home, and women’s interests. She lives in Arizona with her husband and three beautiful daughters.

 

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

by with 7 Comments EducationVoices

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

Every subject in school cannot be a favorite. I used to enjoy Social Science and Biology in school. Particularly, learning about the geographical demographics of a place, maps, climates, old civilizations, etc. Perhaps, this is why I signed up for classes in Anthropology, Human Behaviors and Astronomy at University. They were such fun, interesting and interactive classes. Apart for Art, learning about different cultures fascinated me. Learning about human psychological behaviors intrigued me. But I totally detested Math in school, I think I still do!

At different stages of school, I aspired to be a Social Sciences teacher, a criminal lawyer, an archaeologist, a fashion designer, a graphic designer. To think of it now, I was always role-playing in my mind and learning a new subject enthusiastically.

There was a time I was so intrigued by space (Oh I still am) that I wanted to be an astronaut. But going away from family sounded a bit too hard so I thought of being an astronomer. Unfortunately, it would require a lot of Math, and Math was never my best friend.

The only time I enjoyed learning Math was at University because the level of Math in American universities is equivalent to primary and elementary school Math of the Indian system. I got perfect scores in Math at university because I was great at Venn diagrams and pie-charts (no, seriously!) Today, as adults we know that trigonometry and algebra formulas are not going to help get a job, pay the rent, find a spouse or for that matter even catch a mouse!

On the other hand, my daughter enjoys learning Science and loves to solve Math problems. But she isn’t too fond of the Social Sciences. Sometimes I wonder how is that possible? Then I remind myself that she isn’t me and I’m not her. She is an extension of me but an individual in herself. She has the right to choose what she likes and develop her interests based on her own choices.

Making Learning Fun

So I try to make the ‘non-favorite’ subjects fun for here and try to teach her through story-telling, visuals and real-life examples. I tell her to relate what she learns, to what she has seen or experienced.

For instance, once she was confused when she was learning about ‘Terrestrial Plants’ growing in different regions. So I told her to remember the pine cones and coniferous trees she saw in Chicago (cold/hilly region), to think of the banyan and mango trees she plays around at the park in Mumbai (plains), to think of the rubber and coconut trees in the backyard of our house in Florida (hot and damp region), and not to forget the date palms and cactus that she sees here in Kuwait (desert region).

The next time she was learning about ‘Aquatic Plants’, she told me that floating plants are like duckweed that we saw in Bali, fixed plants are like the lotus we saw in Sri Lanka and underwater plants are like the plants we saw when we went snorkeling at Peanut Island in Florida. Instantly, I knew that she was learning and not just memorizing. She was reasoning and coming up with answers for herself.

Personally, I think this kind of learning is a bigger achievement than just getting good grades or a perfect score on a test. Integrating learning with experiences and memories will definitely help retain the information longer or forever.

Memorizing without understanding, and studying without the desire of learning will always make learning seem like a task. We must always reiterate to our kids that they should study to learn, and not just to remember until the next test or exam.

We should teach our children that learning is a journey and not a computerized input-output process. With so many living robots all around, we need to strive hard to nurture the human mind and heart, so that this world will be a better place for them to live in. A deeper understanding of what we learn will also help us become more compassionate towards each other and our environment.

Today, I enjoy the process of learning new things even more. One of the reasons why learning is still fun is probably because my parents never forced their aspirations on me or steered me in a way that didn’t interest me. I am indeed grateful to them for letting me make my educational and personal decisions.

The Progression of Learning

As life progresses and our thought process changes (or we get wiser), our interests change too. Currently, Nutritional Science and Religion interests me. A few years later, it may well be something else. So we must remember that learning is not limited to schools, universities and institutions. Learning can take place anywhere and anytime. Just like evolution, learning is an ongoing process so we might as well make it fun for our children and ourselves.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

 These are such powerful words that capture the true essence of learning. We must remember that the best part about learning is that the knowledge we acquire solely belongs to us and no one can take it away.

5 Fun Tips to Raise Globally Minded Kids

5 Fun Tips to Raise Globally Minded Kids

by with 4 Comments Mindset

“Preservation of one’s own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.” <span class="su-quote-cite">Ceaser Chavez</span>

In a world where many buy into the rhetoric of otherness and extreme nationalist sentiments creep on today’s political scene, raising global children becomes a necessity that cannot be overlooked by parents and educators alike.

Nowadays it is important to embrace the fact that gaining a global mindset should not be conceived as an “either-this or-that” subject. To support globalism doesn’t make us less patriotic. To favor nationalism doesn’t stop us from being global aware. This otherness idea is pulling our world apart at the moment and our children are the only hope to bring it back together in the future.

But how to raise global minded children while still loving our own country’s traditions?

From our own experience as a multicultural family living overseas, we conclude that to increase our children’s cultural intelligence we needed to keep track of the three Big C’s: commitment, consistency and creativity. Commitment to the important objective of thinking globally and building bridges between our differences and commonalities. Consistency to constantly feed our kids with useful information about other cultures. Creativity to promote global awareness in a fun way while using age appropriate language and material.

How to bring the three Big C’s to the reality of your own family?

Here are a few tips to help you raise global minded citizens at home. Remember that this list is by no means exhaustive, if you decide to start the rewarding adventure of promoting cultural awareness in your family make sure you use as many resources, tools and creatives ideas as possible to obtain the best outcome.

  • Make room for a world map

Children learn a huge amount through their senses and for that they need lots of relevant opportunities to explore the objects around them. What better way to understand the abstract idea of countries, geographical distance and cultural connections than with a world map?

World maps come in every size, color, texture and some even include sounds! It doesn’t have to be an expensive map, that’s up to you, but it is key to acquire a map that is colorful to attract your child’s attention. Additionally, choose a special place to hang your map up. Family rooms are great places to display your map. We spend a huge deal of time in the kitchen, so ours is hanging up right there in the kitchen next to our breakfast table.

Once you own a world map, use it! Ask your children to point where their home country is and go from there. The possibilities to explore a world map are numerous! Some fun ideas is to work with your kiddos locating countries where Halloween is celebrated; write some sentences about an specific country chosen by your family or even make a 60-second presentation of Christmas around the world during snack time.

Did I already say that you need to be creative?

  1. Start exploring your own culture

It is proven that to respect somebody else’s traditions you need to start by embracing your own. For your kids to grow up global, it is necessary to build a foundation strong enough to support all the new info that will improve their cultural intelligence.

Please do remember that to love someone or something we have to love and accept ourselves first. Same applies to culture. If you and your child don’t know your own traditions, how will you establish commonalities between you and other people’s culture?

Therefore begin by exploring local language, festivals, food, literature and art. Schedule a few weeks for your family to really experience its own cultural identity. Highlight things done at home that are part of your cultural background. Help your kids express who they are, form ideas and connections over this period of time. If they are too young to express their interests and opinions through language, encourage them to use art as a form of communication.

Don’t forget to enroll relatives and friends in this adventure. If you don’t reside in your birth country, connecting with grandparents who can provide a clearer idea of your family’s cultural identity is a must! Your mission is to expose your child to his or her roots. This is something that will benefit all family members and surely increase your CQ (cultural intelligence).

  1. Discover your artistic side

Art projects are a wonderful way to explore culture. But how to use crafts to learn about other countries? Gather information from the Internet to write a schedule of art projects for your children. Also, highlight important holidays around the world and search for fun ideas to use art to discover new traditions. The arts provide a fantastic opportunity for young children to holistically learn about the world.

It is a great idea to invite relatives and teachers to help children with their multicultural art projects as well. Keep in mind that the possibilities are endless and crafts aren’t restricted to just painting and gluing stuff. Encourage your kids to take photographs or draw an abstract picture of their lives at home and of what they see during travels. For more cross-cultural inspiration visit multicultural blogs, Pinterest, and other websites that promote diversity awareness.

  1. Time for Journalism

Provide your children with a notebook, pencil, colored pencils, old magazines, and newspapers and invite them to put on their writers cap. Journalism is a powerful tool to learn about ourselves, our own culture and other countries’ traditions. It is also a great way to track progress, so your kid can see for himself how far he has come since starting his growing-up-global journey.

By setting aside fifteen minutes twice a week in the evenings to journal, your children commit time to their multicultural adventure each week and that allows them to check in, express their own emotions about traditions, and redirect their focus. Maybe there are certain aspects of a culture that they don’t agree with, or that they don’t understand well. This is the opportunity to review the impact of diversity awareness in your child’s life and learn how to accept other people’s traditions in a respectful manner.

  1. Put on your aprons and chef hats

Cooking can be an effective way to protect our culture, our food and our family stories. It is also a great resource to learn about other country’s identity and connect with people from around the world. The significance of a meal goes beyond the taste and aromas, a traditional meal creates a deep connection between food, kinship and culture. And what’s best? Children love to cook!

Arm yourself with recipes from around the world including your own family recipes. Involve your children in the cooking part and explain to them the relevance of such a meal for the culture of a country. Relate food to holidays to enhance the learning experience. I have always stressed the story of the ingredients, where they come from, their taste and unique features. The goal is to teach our children about diverse others by doing and tasting culture.

Did you find some other great ideas of your own while reading this article? If yes, share them with us down in the comments.

If no, don’t feel discourage. Here is a tip you can use right away: talk to your children about their favorite traditions from your own culture this evening during dinner. Remember to be passionate and curious about cultures and your kids will follow your example. Be driven to spread cultural awareness and appreciation of your own culture through art, writing, food, and observation.

Join me on my journey to raising little nomads.

It is a challenging journey but oh so rewarding! You will enjoy it!

Being Creative in Teaching Kids About Indian Culture

Being Creative in Teaching Kids About Indian Culture

by with 7 Comments Voicesworld changersworld changers

At Raising World Children, we are on the constant look out for world changers. People who are trying in small or big ways to make the world a better place. Today, we meet Ajanta Chakraborty, a fascinating woman of wonder : choreographer, author, you tube content creator, teacher, mom and much much more !

1. What exactly do you do?

I am the co-founder of Culture Groove  and Bollywood Groove

  • Culture Groove publishes bestselling children’s books and has an educational kids YouTube channel.
  • Bollywood Groove teaches 30+ dance & fitness classes in Chicago to kids and adults.

2. How did you come about this passion/profession?

A techie by profession, I worked in Silicon Valley for 7 years before realizing that my true passion was to spread the joy of Indian culture! In 2011, I quit my job to pursue Bollywood Groove first and then Culture Groove and have never looked back.

3. Tell us about your family.

My husband, who is also the co-author of our Maya/Neel book series, and I live in Chicago with our 4-year-old son. Other than the usual trucks and light sabers, my son has developed a strong interest in our work. He is officially a YouTuber helping his mom teach about India! The funniest experience is watching him trying to sell our books at various events 😊

4. How many places have you lived? How has that affected your world view?

I was born and raised in the small city of Bhopal in India. Since then, I have lived in Vancouver, Canada for education, California for work and now in Chicago.

Living in multiple cities has given me the unique immigrant lens of learning, comparing and picking the best of two worlds. It also opened my mind to not only embrace diversity but also strive to make it a norm.

5. What do you think are three biggest struggles most parents go through teaching kids about Indian culture?

  • The lack of quality and fun content. A lot of the content is either superficial – they provide very little actual knowledge or they are too boring for kids to engage in.
  • The lack of non-religious content. Believe it or not, there are lot of families like ours. They want their kids to learn about the cultural aspects without religion.
  • We have to accept that kids of Indian origin around the world are growing up in a different environment than someone in India. No matter what we are trying to teach them about our culture, it has to be done in a relatable manner. The 100% immersion is not the right approach for every kid and it’s hard to find resources that adhere to that mindset.

6.  How do you suggest parents encourage kids to follow their passions?

Don’t impose your dreams on them. Let them navigate the world at their own pace and in their own way. We are supposed to give them wings and watch them fly. Teach them the importance of finding joy in their everyday life. My parents did precisely that I am incredibly grateful for that.

6. Please tell us about your vision to teaching kids about the world.

We have a 3-fold mission with our work:

  • Help raise multicultural kids irrespective of their ethnicity and background. This extends to adults as well!
  • Help kids connect to their roots.
  • Help kids of color to see themselves in literature and media.

This is exactly what has driven us to teach a unique combination of dance and culture classes to 200 kids every year; to write children’s books exploring festivals, places and cultural concepts of India; and finally to create a free learning resource via our YouTube channel.

8. What are your three top advice to parents?

  • Read, read, read to your kids! It is such a wonderful way to open up their minds.
  • Teach your kids that there are many ways to live in this world – try new foods, explore a different festival, do something that helps them experience the diversity in this world.
  • Constantly reinforce the message of standing up to discrimination, intolerance and bias because of who they are. Proactively help them gain pride of their origin, their orientation, and anything else that the society boxes them in.

9. How does one raise multicultural kids today in an ever evolving world?

I believe it is actually getting easier. With technology bringing the world closer together, we now have more opportunities to learn about each other. Even in places where there is an environment of intolerance, I see parents and educators working ever harder to ensure that the kids grow up with an outlook of acceptance.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL

10. Do you have anything exciting for our readers?

We produced 8 books in 2 years so there is always something exciting 😊 Our latest book is about Delhi and Taj Mahal and it recently hit the Amazon bookshelves. But we are equally excited about our videos. We add one new video a week and there is so much more coming in the way of learning about Indian languages, festivals, food, clothes etc. We request parents and educators to help us spread the word about this free resource and to join us in our mission: CultureGroove.com/YouTube.

Let’s Raise Multicultural Kids!

Click here to join parents raising multicultural children on Facebook !

Click here to buy Ajanta’s Latest BestSelling Diwali Book right NOW! Makes a great Diwali gift. 

How Can You Be Creative in Teaching Kids about Any Culture. Meet Ajanta Chakraborty, woman of wonder.

 

I Never Thought I Would Get Preclampsia And Then I Did

I Never Thought I Would Get Preclampsia And Then I Did

by with 10 Comments ParentingVoices

When I got pregnant with my fourth child, I had no idea that preeclampsia was a risk. I had no history of it, my family had no history of it. Other than some blood pressure spikes, likely caused by stress, in my second and third pregnancies, I’ve never had high blood pressure.

All of my pregnancies have been low-risk (although due to age and my husband’s family history of cardiovascular health, my last three were classified as high-risk until the 20 week scans showed that all was well.)

The easiest pregnancy ever…

When I got pregnant with Ladybug, I kept forgetting I was pregnant. This was welcome, because with my boys, I had horrible sciatica, and with my year old, I had terrible morning sickness for the entire pregnancy. I also suffered from paralyzing anxiety and depression while pregnant. In fact, with Ladybug I didn’t even have the debilitating fatigue I’d had with my 2 year old. I felt energetic, happy, and pretty amazing, well into the pregnancy. I even was losing weight while pregnant due to healthy eating and being able to continue being active.

Then, things changed.

I got a nasty version of the flu, and it turned into pneumonia. I was really sick. I was probably hospital sick, but I’m stubborn. When I saw my OBGYN, she was a bit taken aback that I hadn’t gone to the hospital. Her words, “If you think you might need to go to the hospital, Ronda, you should pro

My oldest and I, after his theater awards ceremony, a week before I was induced.

bably go to the hospital.” I was due in late May, I got sick in mid-March.

I didn’t really recover. I continued to feel awful. Each appointment, I was suddenly putting on a lot of weight. I wasn’t thin by any means, but I’d made it down to 275 when I got sick. When I was induced, about 6 weeks later, I was up to 354lbs. We’ll get to the induction in a minute.

I had no energy. I constantly felt zapped. It was still really hard to breathe. Just walking from the couch to fridge, about 20 feet, would wind me. I couldn’t keep up with my other kids. I skipped out on some of my oldest’s events, because I had no energy. I sent his grandparents instead to take photos. Then, one morning, I woke up, and I was really swollen. When I say really swollen, I mean, really really swollen. I felt horrible. I had an appointment with my OBGYN that afternoon.

The fight for a diagnosis

I had no history of preeclampsia. My OBGYN wasn’t even collecting urine samples, because she was that confident that it wasn’t an issue. That day, I actually wound up not seeing my OBGYN, but her nurse practitioner. She saw me, and asked if I’d been eating a lot of salt. “No.” She took my blood pressure. It was 135/84, extremely high for me, but still within the range they considered normal. I pushed the issue.

The swelling wasn’t going down with rest. It wasn’t going down with putting my feet up. I’d gained a lot of weight over the past 5 weeks, and I felt terrible. I was out of breath. No, it wasn’t just baby pushing on my lungs. It was different from other pregnancies. Something just didn’t feel right. So, she agreed to check my urine. She told me if I didn’t hear anything, that I was fine. That was a Thursday.

The long weekend

I kept feeling worse. I was supposed to go see my oldest’s awards ceremony. I had no idea he was receiving any awards, so I sent my in-laws instead.  He was due to graduate high school in a few days. I kept checking the portal to see if my lab results had come back. I hadn’t heard anything.

At my oldest’s graduation with my husband and youngest son.

I went shopping with my husband to prepare for my son’s graduation party and for my sister to come into town to visit and see the graduation. I kept feeling worse. It felt like I was getting the flu all over again, and my face and hands were now swollen. I knew something was wrong. I was feeling extremely emotional over it. But, I hadn’t heard back, and the results showed they were in (I just couldn’t view them), so I figured everything was fine and I was just coming down with a fresh bout of crud.

Monday and Graduation

Monday, 20 minutes before my OBGYN’s office was to close, I got the call. “You had protein in your urine. Come into the clinic, and we’ll do a blood draw.” By the time I got the message and called back, they were packing up and told me to come in, first thing in the morning. I was scared. I had a friend who’d had preeclampsia, so I knew it wasn’t good. I showed up in the morning, the morning my oldest was going to be graduating. I was terrified I wouldn’t get to see him graduate. I was feeling icky by then, and had seen a flash of light while showering. They took my blood pressure. It was 150/93. My OBGYN wanted me to go in right away to be induced.

I asked whether it would be safe to see my kiddo graduate.

I then went through a bunch of tests to make sure Ladybug was okay. Once my OBGYN was convinced that baby was safe, she told me to go home, rest, and head to the hospital either if I had a headache or right after graduation got out. I played it down, though, as I didn’t want anyone worrying about me.

The induction

The headache started in the middle of graduation. By the time I got out, and we got to the hospital, I was feeling terrible. The induction began. It was rough. I wasn’t allowed to move around, I was asked to stay on my back by the nurse. I was in tears. Laying on my back, pregnant, at 354 lbs was excruciating. My blood pressure was 210/105. I promised myself that if I made it through the induction and birth process that I would do everything I could to begin running again.

I was happy when my nurse changed and the new nurse let me guide her. I opted for no pain medication. I bounced on an exercise ball. I made my sister, who came thinking she’d see a graduation and wound up also seeing a birth, and my husband laugh. I stayed calm. My blood pressure returned to almost normal. 19 hours later, Ladybug was in my arms. I’d had the worst headache the entire labor, but it dissipated after food. At 36 weeks, my gal didn’t need any NICU time, and she was born at 6lbs 10oz and 19.5 inches long, making her the smallest of all my children.

Ladybug is a healthy 16 month old

The aftermath

Everything returned to normal after birth. I was healthy, Ladybug was healthy. She’s now a very healthy 16 month old. It was probably pretty stupid of me to go to graduation knowing what a risk it was, but seeing my big kid graduate was something I just really needed to do. He’d worked so hard during high school. I was discharged a day after Ladybug was born (I’ve since learned that this is not typical in cases where preeclampsia was a factor). Not long after returning home, I went through a terrible bout with anxiety and depression from the trauma of really processing it all. I went through physical therapy, and yes, I’ve started running again. I have my first half marathon later this month.

What you need to know about preeclampsia

While preeclampsia is most common in first pregnancies or first pregnancies with a new partner and subsequent pregnancies where there’s a history of it, it can happen in subsequent pregnancies where there is no history of its occurance. My pregnancy with Ladybug was actually my fifth, as my second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks gestation. I had no history of high blood pressure or complications with pregnancy. Here are some of the risk factors, though an actual cause isn’t known. It is known that having pneumonia or the flu while pregnant greatly increases the risk of occurrence:

  •  Age – being older when pregnant can increase risk (I was 39).
  •  Obesity – I was overweight
  • Nutritional deficiencies – I was still breastfeeding my younger son for half of the pregnancy; I consistently forgot to take my prenatal vitamin
  • Pre-existing conditions – things like diabetes, thyroid disorders, lupus, etc can increase one’s risk
  • Genetics – there seems to be a hereditary component.
  • Other things that go wrong – here’s a list from the Preeclampsia Foundation on other things that can contribute to the risk.

Symptoms:

  • No symptoms, there is just no symptom that presents because many people don’t feel their blood pressure increasing. I did, because my blood pressure is normally around 95/65, so I was pretty uncomfortable.
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Proteinuria – Make sure you get your urine checked at every appointment. They could have caught this earlier in me, had we not gotten complacent.
  • Swelling
  • Headache
  • Nausea or Vomiting
  • Abdominal or shoulder pain
  • Lower back pain
  • Sudden weight gain
  • Changes in vision
  • Hyperreflexia (when your reflexes are extraordinarily strong)
  • Shortness of breath & anxiety

If you are more than 20 weeks pregnant, and you have any of these symptoms, it’s best to bring it up with your healthcare provider ASAP. It could be nothing, but it could be something. Preeclampsia can be deadly for both mother and fetus if left untreated. If you have severe swelling, vision changes, and a headache, don’t waste time – head into the labor and delivery department.

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

by with 8 Comments EducationParentingVoices

Gardening is a habit that is typically associated with the elderly. We all know a grandmother or a grandfather who spends their time digging up weeds in their plot of land in the backyard, and making it bloom with wonderful colors.

We know that it is relaxing for them, and we know that it makes them happy. But did you know that gardening can also be practiced by children? In fact, it is recommended that you let your kids learn how to garden. Why? Here is how gardening benefits kids, and here are five reasons why your child should garden.

Appreciation for Greens and Vegetables

It is no secret that children will prefer never to eat fruits and vegetables if they can help it, and this is a pressing problem for many households all over the world.

While changing this tendency may not happen overnight, it can happen when you allow your children to learn about what it takes to plant and grow their own greens. Many parents of children who garden have found that kids will eat more fruits and vegetables when they have personally grown it themselves.

Adoption of a Lasting Life Skill

Gardening is not just about putting something in soil and waiting for it to bloom. It is a veritable lesson in hard work, patience, and caring – and these are things that any child should learn, at an early age.

Kids who garden can grow up to be mature, level-headed adults who understand the value of hard work, and who will always make sure that they do what they can to make good things happen. When you teach your child to garden, you set him or her up for a life of beautiful things.

Better Appreciation of Food and Less Wastefulness

Many children are wasteful, when it comes to food. They think of nothing about not finishing their meals and throwing away the scraps. If your child has this habit, you can help weed it out of him or her by letting him or learn explore how the food that they eat grows.

Parents of children who garden have noticed that when their child learned to garden, they were less likely to waste food, and they grew to appreciate it better, even those that they did not plant and grow.

 

A Life Free From the Influence of Gadgets

It is normal for children in this day and age to want to spend a portion of their day in front of a television, mobile, or computer screen, but it becomes a problem when children spend too much time in front of the screen. Gardening helps remind your child that there is a whole other world beyond the contents of their television sets and computers, and this is a lesson that you will want them to know, from the get-go.

This can help prevent future problems and even make sure that your child learns to navigate the world around him or her better than most of his or her peers would.

Bonding Time with the Family

Finally, letting your children learn to garden can be the new family bonding that you need. There is something very special about the collective work that you do, and you can learn to appreciate each other better through this shared pastime. Your children will also look forward to staying at home when they know that they can take part in an activity that they will enjoy, with the people that they love.

Getting Started with Gardening for Children

If you’re ready to take your kids out to see the joys of gardening, there are a couple of things to remember. Here are some of the most important of them.

Provide proper guidance and support. If you yourself garden, you can personally give hands-on training to your kids so that they learn about gardening, straight from you. If you don’t, you can opt to hire somebody to teach them, or you can make use of many resources so that you can guide them through the first few days.

However you choose to do it, just make sure that you are there to offer support. Be mindful of their questions and concerns, and get them the guidance that they need. Pretty soon, they will be able to stand on their own, and then you will have planted something that will grow into something magnificent in the future.

Provide proper incentives. It is also recommended that you make gardening as appealing as possible to your children. For instance, you can promise to prepare a delicious snack after their time in the garden. Similarly, you can build them a veritable paradise that is dedicated to fairy gardening in Australia or in other areas or in other areas, through decorative gardening accessories.

Encourage the habit. Finally, let your children know that they can turn to you for help and support, when and if they need it. Grow with them as they grow, enjoy with them as they enjoy, and be there to applaud every milestone that they achieve.

Shawn T. Thompson is a well-known blogger who has a wide variety of interests and specializes in doing in-depth research of garden. He is a Writer, Editor & Blogger. Love to gardening. He is currently a blogger for Earth Fairy in a genuine effort to provide the best quality content to her readers.

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When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

by with 5 Comments MindsetParentingSocial MediaVoices

Competitive momming is a problem, a big problem. It feels as though we’ve lost our villages, especially when everyone on social media seems to be playing the one-upsmanship game.The thing is, competitive parenting isn’t new, it’s just that we see it a lot more.

Feeling as though life is a competition can lead to some pretty bad problems with depression, especially for new moms.  Here are some ways to deal with it when it comes up – whether in person or online.

Ask yourself if the person is actually trying to compete.

Sometimes, what we take as competition really isn’t. A mom may be socially awkward and may be trying to relate to you. Others may be trying to share something that they’re excited about, but it’s not translating that way on social media, or the delivery is off.

Sometimes, too, when we feel someone’s trying to compete, it’s really more about ourselves. We might feel that we’re lacking in some way or another and misread the intent as snarky. It’s important to try to see through what’s being said to what’s being intended.

Ask yourself why the person might be trying to compete

Might the individual in question be experiencing feelings of self-consciousness or guilt him or herself? This can cause people to be more competitive than they ordinarily would be. For example, a mom who is feeling guilty about having her child in day care because her family is trying to shame her for working or who is self-conscious because she’s a stay-at-home mom and getting flack about not working may come off as more snarky than she intends to if she’s put on the defensive.

If you feel that the person may be acting in a competitive way from a place of vulnerability, validate his or her claim, then complement the person on something that she’s doing well.

Don’t feed the troll

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a parent is one-upping others or maybe you. Joey did great on his spelling test, so Debbie feels the need to comment that her Chandler got skipped a grade ahead, and Alison states that her Gina is homeschooled and working at an 8th grade level at age 7.

Don’t give into the impulse to pile on. Yes, maybe Alex just got another belt level in karate, but does it need to be said? Instead, go back to the original focus, Joey, and tell his mom to congratulate him on the good work he’s done.

The pile of stuff competition

I see this every holiday season, and it’s something that personally makes me nuts. A parent either posts about not giving kids a bunch of toys, or sticking to 4 gifts, or posts a photo of an overstuffed Easter basket or overflowing Christmas tree. People pile onto the original poster and attempt to shame the person into doing things their way.

No matter how bad you might want to, don’t add to it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extreme giver or a four gifter or you do no gifts at all but experiences and others do differently. What does matter is that what your tradition is makes you and your family happy.

Watch your own urge to compete

It’s natural to want to show off your child, but remember, your child’s achievements belong to him or her, not you. It’s one thing to share those achievements, it’s another to brag about them.

Before you comment on someone else’s post or announcement with a competitive bend, ask yourself if you’re really adding something to the conversation. It may be better to instead congratulate the person and save your own announcement for another time.

What have you done to reduce competition?

What actions have you used to reduce competition when you’ve seen it? Have you found something that works well to de-escalate the situation? Share in the comments.

When did Parenting Become a Competitive Sport? Parenting Competition needs to be avoided

  Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parRonda Bowen Raising World Children – Where Cultures Meet Parentingenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.

The Secret to Teaching Children to Cope With Big Feelings

The Secret to Teaching Children to Cope With Big Feelings

by with 5 Comments EducationEmpowermentMindsetParentingVoices

Do you know reading stories helps children coping with feelings? Stories play a vital role in developing a child’s imagination.

Using stories you can introduce new ideas into their world. From a realistic story that talks about kids and animals to fantasy stories that talk about other planets, ogres and trolls, children’s learn to visualize it in their own way.

Stories are also useful for teaching more complex ideas, such as the importance of sharing, manners and the passage of time. And what’s so great about learning through stories is that there’s no actual teaching involved at all, they learn from simply reading the story naturally.

Rewriting Authentic Tales to Happy Endings:

Storytelling is one of the best ways to teach compassion to kids. There is no safer way for a child to learn compassion and empathy than through a book. But unfortunately, some children’s books have taken a serious turn in rewriting the authentic tales to happy endings.

There is no more gingerbread boy that gets eaten up by the fox.  Happy or sad whatever the ending may be, it was perfect for the story. That’s why they were classics. Rewriting them and changing the endings kills the interesting aspects of the story.

Books, where the conflicts are always resolved with a happy ending doesn’t reflect with the range of human experience. When we share only the happy ending stories with kids we are setting up our children for false expectations of life.

If stories are all happy or idealized there is no way kids could actually experience the whole range of emotions. Trimming details and changing the ending doesn’t help your kid in any way. It actually does the opposite of hiding them from actual human experience.

At the same time, we have removed all the deadly monsters from the book, we have intensified some of the children’s movies with violent graphics and visuals.

Kids get too much exposure to what they are not supposed to know. So, story reading is again a safe place where you can read the story aloud and you can skip if the details are too intense. It’s their safe haven where they can learn about the world, new ideas and their tough emotions.

Sad Endings Teach Coping with Feelings

Happiness is a great feeling and it’s easy to cope up with. But what about fear or sorrow. Kids should feel all the emotions. No kid can cope up with a bad feeling at the moment he experiences it. Stories with sad endings are one of the safest ways to make your kids experience such emotions and slowly teach them how to cope up with such feelings.

When kids can relate to the story they read they can feel deep emotions. Fiction based on real-life characters can also help kids with their own life experience – it shows them how diverse the world is, how unique the people lives are and that some people’s lives are vastly different to theirs. Stories that contain feelings can help kids understand and accept their own feelings.

It helps them understand that there are other kids that are in similar situations who feel the same way and they are not alone.

READING STORIES IS A GREAT WAY TO COPING WITH FEELINGS

Kids see the world in black and white. Reading a sad story with a wicked villain awakens their innate sense of justice where they try to change the situation by helping the needy.  Sad stories can develop their critical thinking by making them analyze the story. Stories that talks about struggle and conflict encourage kids to develop social-emotional skills.

A good story with mixed emotions teaches kids that life can give both beautiful and awful things. It’s OK to feel hurt, it’s OK to feel scary. The more we teach our children about these emotions and feelings when they arise, they can cope up with the real world.

Sad Ending stories where the main character dies might absolutely upset some kids. Children take some time to cope up with the character loss. But it is a great way to connect with your kid. There will be too many “why” questions to understand such loss.

Sometimes it is simply an expression of sorrow. Use this opportunity to teach them that it’s OK to feel sad and show them how to cope up with overwhelming sad feelings like talking about it and hugging the loved one, etc..,

As a parent, you know your child better. So, always know your audience and think ahead before starting a read story. Make sure the story you read is age appropriate, not too scary for your kids and doesn’t have any detailed violent illustrations.

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Share Stories That Resonates With A Full Range Of emotions:

We all want our child to be happy in an idealized world where everyone’s a friend. It is so tempting to raise our kids in such a world where all the conflicts are resolved with a happy ending.

But, that is totally unrealistic and its an adult expectation. Kids are always kids and it is our responsibility to let kids experience the full range of emotions and to prepare them to cope up with those feelings when they arrive.

Stories are the safe place to make them experience all those feelings especially the bad ones like sadness and fear. Sharing good stories that fascinate with new ideas, spooks with silly monsters, create wonders with an adventurous hero, elicit giggle with foolish characters and awakens justice with a wicked villain all have a place in child’s world.

Are you willing to take this journey with your kids ? Share this post with your friends. 

How do you Teach kids to Cope with Feelings

 

 Suja Dinesh Raising World children Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.

 

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