Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

February 5, 2018

by Featured Guest with 21 Comments Empowerment Mindset Parenting Voices

Do you remember the old song written by Johnny Mercer and performed by Bing Crosby?

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

Maybe Mercer had the right idea. Maybe focusing on the positive would help us be more effective parents, better friends, and happier people overall.

There is a parenting method whereby parents praise good behavior (“I love the way you are sharing with your sister”) rather than focusing just on negative behaviors (“Stop being mean to your sister!”). I’m oversimplifying, but the general idea is that kids act badly to get attention. If acting in positive ways gets more attention, they will engage in more positive behaviors and fewer negative behaviors.

[bctt tweet=”Engaging in positive behavior is encouraged by encouragement on positive actions. Here are ways to help them accentuate the positive in their life. ” username=”contactrwc”]

You can find out more about the positive approach to parenting by clicking on this article of Positive Discipline Tips and another one about Reinforcing Positive Behavior at Home.

How I Apply It

Does it work? In my experience, it does, as much as I am able to apply it. When I remember to focus on my kids’ positive behaviors, they do seem to work harder to get my attention by “showing off” good behavior. The biggest challenge is remembering to make a big deal out of the positive behaviors. It’s so much easier to notice the bad ones, especially when I am tired and overwhelmed (and let’s face it, that is most of the time!). One of my goals this year is to proactively encourage the behaviors I want to see rather than reacting to the behaviors that make me crazy.

As I’ve been thinking about this parenting approach, I’ve started to contemplate how it could work in different areas of life. For instance, what if we applied this philosophy to media coverage? What would happen if we only covered stories in which people engaged in positive, life-affirming behavior?

Immediately, I can think of one drawback. Bad behaviors, like sexual harassment, would continue to occur because no one would alert the public to the problem. Those types of issues would remain secret, and victims would be robbed of their powerful voices.

Knowing that it isn’t feasible to only report the good stuff, let me just indulge in a happy news fantasy. If most of the world’s journalism focused on the great things people around the world do for others, would people be even more likely to do great things? Would world leaders fight harder to achieve world peace and end hunger and violence if those were the only actions journalists covered?

Most importantly, would our children benefit from being presented with positive models of behavior they can emulate rather than adults who indulge in base human instincts? Whenever we read the news, we see hatred, violence, and self-indulgence. As parents, we are presented with a huge opportunity—and mandate, even—to seek out content that uplifts, that affirms life, that provides models of positive ways of interacting.

I encourage all of you to try, for at least a week, to focus on the positive. Talk to your kids about news stories involving people acting in amazing, kind, and life-affirming ways.

And let’s talk about gossip: we all do it, and it has been proven to play an important role in society, reforming bullies and encouraging cooperation. Let’s try something different, though. Instead of talking about people in negative ways, let’s “gossip” about all the good things people do, as in, “Have you seen Aditi’s blog, Raising World Children? Isn’t it amazing how hard she works to help foster tolerance and love?”

Try focusing on the good stuff for a week. Then let me know how it goes. How do you feel when you talk about only life-celebrating news? How do your kids respond to hearing more about positive behaviors?

When talking about positive news, Prof. Tal Ben-Shahar says, “Positive information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.” We need good news to thrive. Do you feel happier when you take in more positive information?

To help you accentuate the positive, I leave you with some websites that share only the good news.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-neumann/15-uplifting-sites-focuse_b_1297094.html

http://www.adweek.com/digital/7-positive-news-sites-to-cheer-you-up/

https://www.walkbrightly.com/

And here are some lists of children’s books that inspire. They may not all be about good things, but they all celebrate the difference a person can make in the world:

50 Inspiring Children’s Books With a Positive Message

8 Book Recommendations for Happy Kids

6 New Picture Books Enjoy Wonder

Catherine Brown loves to write happy, life-affirming stories about ordinary people doing amazing things. She also writes about parenting and education to help readers learn from experts how to make their lives just a little bit better. Every day, she strives to be a kind and loving friend, partner, and mom…some days are better than others! You can find her at writehappy.net, on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/writehappy.net/, and on Twitter, @catwritehappy.

The Story of Ellis Island & The People That Arrived

January 26, 2018

by Janie Saylor with 16 Comments America Guides Heritage Travel Voices

Did you know Ellis Island officially opened as an immigration station on January 1, 1892? Seventeen-year-old Annie Moore, from County Cork, Ireland was the first immigrant to be processed at the new federal immigration depot.

The Statue of Enlightening the World

Most of us have heard of New York’s Ellis Island and it’s immigration depot. When mentioning Island, it often brings to mind the Statue of Liberty, which many believe both to be located on the same island. But in fact, they are not. The statue welcomed millions of immigrants entering New York Harbor on their way to Ellis Island.

Ellis Island was previously called Gull Island. This was before Samuel Ellis purchased the island in the 1770’s. Samuel had a good sized tavern built on the island, which was used by many Manhattan residents in its day. But “Ellis Island” is also the name given to the immigration depot located on the island, which first opened on January 1, 1892.

STORY OF ELLIS ISLAND

Questions Answered Here.

After I discovered the above information, I was curious to know more. Like what the island was used for between the time Mr. Ellis ran his tavern, when America became a nation in 1776 and when Ellis Island, the immigration depot began in 1892… I had questions like:

1. Where did all if the immigrants to America enter as they came through the New York Harbor between during that century?
2. Why was the immigration depot built on an island in the first place?
3. Were there records of the people who entered America before the immigration depot opened.
4. If so, what happened to them?

So, I set out to do more research and was able to answer those questions, as well as several others that I didn’t even know I had. Although the research was vague between 1776 and 1811, it picked back up just prior to the War of 1812.

Preparing for War

With tensions rising between America and Great Britain due to America’s departure from Great Britain’s rule in 1776, an armament known as the Southwest Battery was built on Ellis Island in 1808 in lower southwest Manhattan. This became known as Fort Clinton. The fort was one of four built within close proximity to each other used to protect New York Harbor.

What happened to Fort Clinton?

Getting back to Ellis Island and Fort Clinton. In 1823, following the war, the fort was deeded to New York City. It was turned into an opera house and theater called Castle Garden for the next 31 years. Castle Garden was a hot spot for cultural entertainment, showcasing not only entertainment venues but also the newest inventions, such as Samuel Morse and his telegraph and steam powered fire engines.

Within a year after Castle Garden Opera House closed its doors, Castle Garden started being used as an immigration station. Here, clerks were hired to process and log every person entering American shores through the New York Harbor from various countries. This was America’s first immigration depot. Prior to this, passengers exited the ships directly onto the shores of Manhattan, often bringing with them many different diseases.

Many of the ill passengers had already been struck by disease before they even boarded ships in their native country, although many also contracted diseases during their nearly twelve day voyage across the ocean.

Somewhere between 8 and 12 million people came through Castle Garden until it closed 1890 when the federal government took over the task of immigration, which happened in part because of the corruption among clerks who were designated to process voyagers at this time.

Corruption such as blatant use of a federal act of 1882 forbidding entry of “lunatics, idiots, criminals and public charges” (prostitutes and other unwelcome professions) by making their own personal judgement calls. Typically, they did this in hopes of be offered bribes to look the other way.

Building Ellis Island Depot

While the first federal immigration depot began being built on Ellis Island, designed by Edward Tilton and William Boring, a temporary depot was located on a barge just off shore of Castle Garden. In 1891, the barge welcomed just over 400,000 passengers.

Ellis Island was no where near large enough to accommodate the new depot, so it was necessary to increase the size of the island. This was done by unloading the ballasts of ships (stones in the lowest level of ships used for balance) and using the dirt and debris from the building of elevated railways in the in New York City.

On January 1, 1892, when the island finally opened, it is said that a young girl, Annie Moore 17 years old, was the first to be processed through the new wooden immigration depot built upon the island. She came on a ship from Cork County, Ireland with her two younger brothers to join their parents who were already in America.

Eventually, Annie married Joseph Schayer, of German decent, a salesman at Manhattan’s Fulton Fish Market. Together they had at least ten children. Annie died in 1924, although my research wasn’t clear as to the cause. Many accounts relay it being a horrible streetcar accident, while others report she died of a heart attack.

Rebuilding the Immigration Depot

It was on June 15, 1897, that a fire on Ellis Island broke out. It destroyed the wooden structure taking the majority of the 1.5 million immigration records of not only those of the island itself, but also the records which were being stored from the Castle Garden days. As a new fireproof structure began being built, the barge depot once again welcomed new passengers. By December of that same year, the new fireproof building reopened and Vice President Theodore Roosevelt appointed the first immigration commissioner, William Williams to manage the depot.

Commissioner Williams fired the vast majority of the depot’s employees in 1902, eliminating widespread corruption and abuse. He began offering awards based on merit and announced any suspected dishonesty were grounds for dismissal. Signs featuring Williams new rules of kindness and consideration were posted as reminders all around the depot.

This new generation of immigrants saw many of Jewish faith, who left their home country due to political and economic unrest, as well as people of Italian decent escaping poverty. Ellis Island welcomed many Polish, Hungarians, and Greeks to name a few, also many non-Europeans from locations such as Serbia, Turkey and Armenia.

Why People Came

After learning all of this, I was interested in finding out about specific stories of some people who took a chance to voyage across the Atlantic Ocean. I discovered families like Barnet Chadekel, who chose to travel under his wife, Chann’s maiden name of Mirelowitz because in their native land they were perceived to be wealthy because he owned a glass working shop. In the country they left behind, they were considered to be wealthy and were persecuted for this. Often put to death.

As another aside: For a little over ten years in the early 2000s, I taught a life journaling class to hundreds of senior citizens all over the metro Detroit area. Every person in every class had an interesting story to tell, but many had traced their family histories all the way back to Ellis Island and beyond. What they discovered during their research was that there were many family members who, when they told immigration clerks their name, the clerk wrongly spelled their name the way they heard it so their name turned out to be something different from what it really was. Some clerks shortened their name. And some immigrants, like Iparhos Perdikis (who you’ll read about here) chose to give the clerk at their departure from their home country, a completely different name. I learned so much while working with everyone during these years, about immigration and their personal lives I was also able life lessons, which I still use today.

The Many Reasons Why People Came

The reasons people made the long expensive journey to America vary widely. Some escaped war in their home country, as well as drought, hunger, and persecution for their religious beliefs. People came hoping for jobs, some were only in the States long enough to earn enough money to support their family when they returned to their homeland and some came hoping to get land to farm. But everyone came in hopes for a better opportunity.

Passengers waited in long lines on the island following their nearly two week voyage, some of them waited only to be detained for weeks… or worse, deported because they didn’t pass the interviews with immigration inspectors, who claimed they were too sick or deemed as illiterate. During various different periods, immigrants from certain countries were banned entirely. But this didn’t stop people from coming in search of their dreams.

Nearly 12 million people were welcomed by the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor during Ellis Island depot’s 62 year history. Though due to a multitude of immigration acts in the U.S., immigration to the island dramatically decreased by 1924. Ellis Island immigration depot finally closed its doors in November of 1954.

Meet Giuseppe D’Amico

Giuseppe D’Amico was an electrician by trade. His family was already in America, but upon arriving, he found that in Manhattan, his profession had already seen unionization, which left him unable to find work. Fortunately, a family member, skilled as a seamstress, taught him her trade. Guiseppi went from learning the basic skills of dressmaking and through the years, worked his way to becoming a highly skilled dressmaker, managing a shop, then creating his own business designing beautiful gowns for the women of his day.

Tong Ly Jue Journeyed from China

Tong Ly Jue, a herbalist by trade, immigrated from China. He and his wife, Jeang Quai, settled in San Francisco’s Chinatown. With him, he brought many Chinese herbs and medicines and was able to come to the aid of people afflicted with many different diseases. Tong Ly is said to be among one of the first herbalists welcomed to America.

The Perdikis Family

Lastly, let’s meet Iparhos Perdikis. In 1921, the 16 year old traveled with his parents who settled in New York City. Iparhos chose to completely change his name to Harold Perrin, as many others often did, when he came to America. He studied hard in school before finding his calling and consuming himself in music and dance. Later, he performed on vaudeville stages and in nightclubs all across America.

When reflecting back to his arrival through New York Harbor and looking up at the lights of the New York city, Harold recalls, “From that beautiful city, I got my dreams.”

Over all, from the time Ellis Island opened until 1954 when it closed, more than 12 million people were welcomed into the United States. Today, the island is a National Park and hosts a museum in the main building. Restoration is being done, with the help of donations, to the Ellis Island hospital building. While visiting, you can go on guided tours of both the Ellis Island immigration depot island and our Lady Liberty. You also have the opportunity to take a guided cruise through New York Harbor and much more.

Janie Saylor | Raising World Children | Parenting | Cultures | Diversity | Cultural Sensitivity

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 21, and her daughter, age 25. In 2006, Janie published the book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in various communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”

7 Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance

January 5, 2018

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 15 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Mindset Parenting Voices

My 7 year old son wants to be an inventor when he grows up. For now, his aim to is create lavish Lego creations based on dinosaurs, Minecraft, Avengers and more. He gets ideas and doesn’t stop till he has completed his creation. And he often gets overwhelmed!

He gets it from me. I too am like a steam roller when I get an idea into my head and I just cannot stop till I am done with the many, many items on my list. Only in the past year have I discovered the power of goal setting and the many challenges that they encounter and believe that it is an essential trait for kids to learn at a young age.

Not only does it prevent overwhelm, it is of great importance to learn what goals to focus on and how to keep them instead of having to give up.

Why would kids need goals ? To apply effectively to

Grades
Hobbies or interests
Exercise
TV viewing
Free time
Savings
Sports
Education
Behavior
Chores
and much much more.

Setting Goals

It is often that overwhelm comes in the form of overzealous goal setting. The most important step to learning how to be a person of perseverance is to attain the fine balance to awareness, priority, work and time.

1. HAVE SPECIFIC GOALS

“Little goals are the best way to get kids moving toward big goals,” says Jim Wiltens, a leadership-training instructor in the San Francisco-area schools. “Meeting a goal gives kids an incredible surge of energy.” It is important to teach kids that not every goal is worth attaining even. Listen to what the kids want and steer them gently towards what is something that they can actually work towards. Make sure to take baby steps.

Reading a page a day, picking up toys in a room or in our case creating one creation in a set amount of time is a good enough goal to begin with.

You know your child best. Crafting a vision board or making a list of their dream goals and picking the ones that are specific to them are essential.

2. KEEP THE RIGHT TOOLS

You will need to make a goal kit for your kids. This could be a calendar, timer, a marker and a log of some sort to maintain the goal/s they set for themselves. Download the ones below and ensure they go through it at a time every day.

Journal writing is a great way to stay on top as well .

3. PLAN THE WORK IT TAKES

Every goal takes a different amount of time and energy. It is important to ensure the kids think through the steps it takes to achiever the goal.

Teach them to break the goal down into smaller actions and work on how much time each action takes.

4. FOCUS ON THE TIME

Something that many kids lack is an awareness of time. Make sure you mark the calendar or teach them how to set a timer for everything they need to achieve. This is a great way to educate them about time awareness, taking breaks and moderation.

Keeping To Goals

This is the trickiest part and something all of us struggle with.

5. HOW TO PRIORITIZE

This is something that is totally essential to creating goal oriented, self driven kids. It is important for kids to learn how to put their goals above other things. The number one lesson they need to learn is that the only way to tick that goal off their day is to put it first and put in the work.

Set a time for your goal and then tick it off!

A neat trick is to tie it into something that the kids love depending on the goal. So, if the goal is something they love doing, they could forgo their favorite treat or activity for that day. And if the goal is something they don’t like doing so much, they could get an extra treat or something they rarely get to do within the time period they are trying to achieve their goal.

6. DEAL WITH SELF DOUBT

A big part of goal setting that many kids do not know how to deal with is the self doubt that comes with when they fail to succeed on the way. It is important to encourage them to push a little harder some days and equally important to let them know when it is okay to forgive yourself or let go.

7. CELEBRATE SUCCESS

And most important of all is to ensure to celebrate any and all successes big and small. A special treat that you have thought of before hand itself is specially great. Preferably an experience vs something materialistic.

Let Them Fail

This will possibly be the most important thing to teaching kids to reach their goals. As parents we hate to see them fail but nothing teaching a child the important aspect of staying on top of Their goals than failing to meet a deadline and suffering the consequences. Better early than late. Taking ownership is a big part of teaching kids to be responsible .

Download the complete free Goal Tracking Template.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

3 Ways to Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

December 29, 2017

by Tammy Coin with 17 Comments Empowerment Parenting Voices

Being a parent is the MOST. It is the job we have that is the most challenging, the most difficult and the most rewarding and yet, we receive very little training on how to do it effectively, especially when it comes to sexual abuse.

As a Grammy to a 3-year old grandson and the mother of two grown children, I fully understand the complexities of being a parent and what it means for them to feel safe.

Not only am I a Practitioner who works with adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse, I am also a survivor of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. During the 52 year case study of myself and working with clients, I have contemplated, studied and watched the effects of abuse on children as they mature into adults.

Our children are like “case studies” in that we try this and experiment with that and have no real idea of how it will effect our child or the outcome until years later.

The sad truth is we cannot physically protect our children every minute of every day. We also cannot create such fear in them or ourselves that we rob them (and us) of a happy life. So what do we do?

After careful consideration, I believe these three ways are the most effective things you can do to protect your child from sexual abuse.

1. EDUCATE YOURSELF

Educating yourself is a preventative measure for you and your child. This education must be deeper than what you might hear on television. Read books on the subject, attend seminars, watch documentaries, research statistics and scholarly articles. One of the most important pieces of education you can have is to understand that most sexual abuse against children is from someone the child knows and trusts. Educating yourself gives you a basic understanding of how, when and where your child could be at risk.

2. EDUCATE YOUR CHILD

Educating your child starts immediately. The attention span of a child is going to be different at every age and every stage of maturity. Based on the maturity level of the child, will depend on the type and method of education. Teaching a child about their body and appropriate touches helps them become familiar in a non-scary or threatening way. It just becomes part of how you teach them. There are teachable moments every single day. When we begin to teach children about their bodies, intimacy and sexuality, we must also be mindful that they will grow to be adults where sexuality is a natural part of being human. How we teach our children impacts their safety as well as their healthy functioning as they become adults.

3. EMPOWER YOUR CHILD

Children need to know that they have the power to say “NO” when it comes to their body. When they need to talk, it is vital they know you will HEAR them and BELIEVE them. It is imperative they know YOU are not going to become embarrassed or scared of them talking to you.

As a child, it is difficult to know that your parent is uncomfortable with their own body and sexuality. Children need to know that you are a safe space for them and can handle whatever they bring to you.

There are no guarantees that you can protect your child. There are no guarantees that your child will never encounter someone who is harmful. Focusing on what you can do is empowering. Remember to educate yourself. Educate your child. Then, empowering your child so they know what to do in the event they are placed in an uncomfortable situation.

If they are the victim of sexual abuse, it is imperative that they have a loving parent (or other adult) who will help them navigate, process and release the feelings they have about the abuse. Holding these feelings, feeling guilty or shamed about what has happened to them, dis-empowers them and continues to hurt them throughout adulthood.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover your Soul Purpose. You can find her http://thedoorsofwellness.com

5 Awesome Travel Hacks When Traveling With Your Teens

The Power of A Family Circle

November 3, 2017

by Courtney Harris with 5 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Voices

Have you ever called an “emergency family meeting?” Did you gather in a circle around the kitchen table? Or huddle together on the couch? What prompted that meeting? Chances are it was a less than desirable circumstance or conflict. Perhaps it was a broken curfew, academic struggles, or a disrespectful outburst. Family challenges often prompt us to gather up, get talking, and fix problems.

What if your children associated “family meetings” or circles with honest, connected, nurturing communication, though? Not just problems!

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, I teach restorative circles to families with school-aged children. This powerful, co-created system for family-community-building and conflict management provides families with powerful, timeless, and healing tools.

Because family systems are constantly changing as the humans grow and evolve, this go-to system protects and supports family conversation, creates a strong foundation of trust, and encourages authentic connection. Using this method, you and you family will build positive associations with sitting in circles and talking about a wide range of family-based topics. Rather than expecting a lecture or a consequence during the “meeting,” your children and teens will experience “circles” as the rich soil from which the family cultivates love and understanding.

Restorative circles invite both parents and children of all ages to co-create the family environment and relationships together. It’s up to you, as the parent, to lead your family, yes, but this doesn’t mean you do it alone or without support. As you share the power of building your life together with your children, pressure and weight can be lifted. You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Likewise, as your children become more empowered, they engage in and create family dynamics with greater intention and investment. It’s a win-win, both in the short and long term.

“The fundamental unifying hypothesis of restorative practices is disarmingly simple: that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”

International Institute for Restorative Practices

Peacemaking circles and restorative practices have roots in Native and indigenous cultures. This idea of gathering face to face is not new. However, being open to the wisdom of our ancestors and of the process of circling takes intention. We have different distractions, interruptions, and challenges in our lives; thus, it takes attention and purposeful action to create a strong foundation of community within the family unit.

Restorative circles offer families a framework for having open communication and bonding opportunities. If you commit, as a family, to having a weekly Family Building Circles, coming to circle in moments of conflict or difference will feel much more comfortable. Here, I offer you the core elements of Family Building Circles, along with the philosophy behind each aspect.

Core Elements Circle + The Philosophy of the Circle:

Circle- Circles have no end and no beginning. Each person’s seat place in the circle is equal to the next person’s and you can make eye contact with everyone in the circle. All members of the family circle sit at the same level, either floor or chair. This is symbolic of shared and equal power. The circle itself indicates that all family members are worthy of the same respect; each member has the freedom and space to express themselves. “Circle” is also the name of the process of having an organized dialogue while sitting in circle.

Talking Piece- An object that can be safely and easily passed is the talking piece. It indicates that only one person will talk at a time; likewise, it denotes that all other members will actively listen when they don’t have the talking piece. The talking piece will always travel the circle in order, even if a member chooses to skip a round, which encourages focus, patience, and turn-taking. Talking pieces can be created or selected to watch the topic of each individual circle or they might be an item that the family relates to and holds dear.

Rounds– This is one pass around the circle in order. Family building circles are often pre-planned and focus on a single topic. A series of questions guide the family through intentional conversation and sharing. The talking piece regulates the round, giving each member equal opportunity to speak and be heard.

Values- What guides you and helps inform your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? What is most important to you? What do you hold dear? Family members name their values as a guide for how you will treat one another during the circle process (and moving forward from the circle). Values also establish safety norms for the conversation and the relationships.

Facilitator- All members of the family participate equally; however, one member may be the facilitator of a particular circle. The facilitator reads each prompt and helps ensure that circle norms are being respected. Facilitation is an opportunity for children to be leaders in their family.

As you begin using circles often with the intention of building family community, you will experience a growth in trust, communication, and openness. Then, when conflict arises, you already have a system and connected emotional history for dialoguing about how to transform and repair the hurt.

E-mail Courtney for a FREE template and model for a family building circle to get started!

Courtney Harris : Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here:and

Teaching Diversity To Our Kids

November 1, 2017

by Featured Guest with 6 Comments Empowerment Heritage Voices

The Pew research center published an article last year about diversity pointing out 10 important demographic trends last year. One of the statistics stood out for me. It said” By 2055, the U.S. will not have a single racial or ethnic majority.”

We are raising our children in increasingly diverse society with representations from so many different cultures. The electorate, the work force, our education system are all going to be impacted. We will see people around with different ways of speaking, dressing, eating, praying and living. It is a massive opportunity to learn about each other and grow. We will essentially witness a rainbow of cultures, but we have to be ready to open our windows and step outside. What are some things we can do to make diversity an important part of our households?

Celebrate together

Festivals are important. Other than celebrating with our family and friends, we should raise awareness in our schools about each other’s festivals. For example, I realized fall is chock full of festivals from different cultures. It would be great to do a showcase of different cultures in school. Maybe a culture day to celebrate different festivals Rosh Hasanah, Diwali, Onam, Eid, Ashura, Thanksgiving to name a few. Check the calendar and stop by the school and see if you can talk to the classroom about your festival. Encourage other families from different ethnic groups to do the same.

Read together

Children are constantly looking at the books they read to form world opinions. Let’s give our children diverse material. There is no need to be pedantic about cultural topics. Sometimes simple books are the best conversation starters. If you have read ‘Last stop on Market Street’ by Matt De La Pena, you will know what I mean. The book teaches empathy and love in a way that is so easy and even fun for the children to understand. Ask your library to stock up with diverse books be it from your culture or other cultures you have been curious about.

Bond together

Make an effort to build connections with families from different cultures. We are always comfortable with the familiar, but we learn and grow by exposing ourselves to the new. Call your neighbors over be it for Chai and samosas or Coffee and Cake. Arrange for playdates with children from different communities. Just stop by and say hello to that person who just moved here from a different country. Let your friendships expand.

Travel wide

What better way to learn about different ways of living than actually seeing and experiencing it. Travel far and travel wide. Make it a cultural learning experience. Observe the trees, the houses, the churches, the temples and talk about similarities and differences. Try different foods, speak to the local people. Let your child always be curious.

Learn more languages

Keep your mother tongue alive. If you are a multilingual household, speak to your child in different languages. Don’t worry, children’s minds are like little sponges. They will have no problems communicating using multiple languages. Teach numbers in different languages, use basic words for food, colors and slowly build up. I need serious effort on this one myself!

What other ideas do you have to teach diversity to your kids?

Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love.

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullying

October 30, 2017

by Janie Saylor with 6 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

Cyber Bullies. These types of people have always existed. I’m curious to know if you’ve ever been bullied? I was. The worst of it was back in middle school in the 1970s. In those days we still had outside time, in essence, it was recess. But none of us called it that… “Recess” always sounded so little kiddish. Out in the schoolyard there was a few girls who never liked me. I’m not sure why exactly, but aside from being called names, I was also punched and kicked quite often, for whatever reason.

If I knew the reason then, I certainly don’t remember it now.

Those experiences, even though I don’t recall the reasoning, very much shaped my life. It dramatically lowered my self esteem and it was the beginning of 40 years of falling for the wrong people. People who I allowed to treat me badly.

Talking About Bullying is Paramount

When I was young and getting bullied, I never told my parents and I told a teacher only once, because their advice was more than unhelpful. I was told to “toughen up and ignore them.” As it turns out, research today shows situations like telling the bully to stop and pretending it’s not happening can actually make the situation worse.

It may help your child to know that even grown ups can be cyber bullied and hopefully, in knowing this, it will help your child to be able to report it to you. As a matter of fact, there are many celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied, which, unfortunately, often forces them off of particular social media sites. Some of celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied are:

Ed Sheeran, singer:

In an interview, he made a comment in which Lady Gaga fans interpreted him as saying he disliked her. Those fans went on to say, what Ed calls, “very mean things that were ruining his day,” and were upsetting him very much. Very soon following, Lady Gaga made a statement in his defense. It turns out Ed decided not to quit the social media sites because he and his father had conversations there, but he stopped reading all the other posts.

Normandi Kordei :

Fifth Harmony singer and you may know her from being a Dancing With the Stars contestant: Normandi was cyber bullied with comments saying things like she “isn’t black enough,” as well as many other racially charged comments. Normandi also says many people had said “some of the most rabid and disgusting” things about women’s bodies and hers in particular.

Zelda Williams:

Daughter of the late Robin Williams: After her father’s death, Zelda reports social media users verbally attacked her and even went so far as to send her photos of a dead man lying in a morgue who resembled her father.

Josh McDermitt.

Actor from the hit tv show, Walking Dead: Josh says that because of his character, Eugene’s role on the show, he received comments of extreme hatred toward him and even death threats. He says people were unable to differentiate between a character on television and Josh’s real life.

Rumer Willis,

Actress and daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: On the morning television show, Megyn Kelly Today, on September 27, 2017, Rumer talked openly about being cyber bullied.

What is Bullying?

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC) defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths involving an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm. A young person can be a perpetrator, a victim, or both.”

What’s missing in the above description is the fact that bullying occurs to people of any age. And today’s technology brings on another whole host of ways people are bullied. Cyber bullying. It’s so incredibly prominent and cyber bullying includes, not only bullying done through social media channels, but in using any electronic source, such as through text or via email as well.

It is very easy to write things to a person who simply is a name on the screen or at the other end of the line.

Understanding The Need To Be A Bully

One might think bullies have a strong sense of themselves, they probably feel superior and that bullies are just highly opinionated and mean people. What we may not know is bullies actually feel so bad about themselves that breaking someone else down is a way for them to attempt to make themselves feel superior.

It is difficult, perhaps, to look at it this way but bullies are very much hurting inside. I know, most bullies think it’s funny. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying we shouldn’t do everything in our power to stop bullying from occurring. As a matter of fact, research shows being bullied, as well as being a bully, can cause an increased risk of problems in their future, such as academic issues, substance abuse, violent behavior, as well as mental health problems. And both the bully and their victims have an increased risk of suicide. We need to provide empowered assistance to both the bullies and the bullied.

Cyber Bullying

Over 50% of teens have been cyber bullied… And only about 10% of those kids will talk to a parent about it. Something cyber bullies don’t keep in mind is there’s consequences. Once bullying comments are made online, it’s practically impossible to completely remove all its traces, which can affect the person doing the bullying for life, even if they’ve apologized to the other person.

These days, prospective colleges are searching online for these occurrences, as are employers. Bullies can face legal charges, and in the situation of “sexting” (which means transmitting naked or inappropriate words or photos), bullies can face the possibility of legally being a labeled as a sex offender.

My Experience as a Parent

My 11 year old son son wanted to play an online game his friends were playing called Runescape. He and I had a long discussion about the privileges and problems of what playing a game where people from all over the world and all ages are playing. It is a tender subject, but I explained about pedophiles by telling him about people posing as youngsters and how incredibly patient they are in order to cause you harm.

I told him these people will befriend you and wait to start asking personal type questions, like your real and full name, address, telephone number, email address and so much more. I told him the only “friends” on the game he was allowed to have were his personal friends from school.

We discussed his password and that I was the only other person who will know it and that I would be going on the game under his password to check up on him. (I also emphasized if there was ever a time I tried to get onto his game and he’d changed the password, he’d be grounded.) We also talked about cyber bullying and what he was to do if it happens (don’t respond, save the comment and tell me immediately).

And lastly, I explained that the only way he could play the game was that I would be playing the game as well. After our very long talk together, I actually drew up a contract and the not we talked about what signing a contract means.

What you can do:

1. Know what sites your child visits. Tell them you will be going onto their accounts. Tell them it’s your job, as a parent, to know what they’re doing and protect them.
2. Always know your child’s passwords.
3. Explain to them the privileges and safety measures that come with being online and having access to the sites you’re allowing them to visit.
4. Set up parental controls, but don’t rely on parental controls alone.
5. Add your children to your “friends” or “follow” lists.
6. Explain to them about cyber bullying and what they’re to do if it does happen (don’t respond, keep the message and tell you immediately.)
7. Block the bullies
8. If a friend of your child communicates to them that they’ve been being bullied in some way, encourage your child to tell you. Also tell your child to encourage their friend to tell their own parents, teachers or school counselors.
9. Always keep the lines of communication with your children open. In order to expect them to be open and honest with you, you also need to be open and honest with them. In sharing things with your children and risking some of your own vulnerabilities, you actually make them feel much more comfortable in sharing their vulnerabilities with you.

Check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”

Life Lessons We Learn From Teachings of Mahatma Gandhi

September 25, 2017

by Shalini Tyagi with 15 Comments Empowerment Heritage Voices

God is truth. The way to truth lies through ahimsa(nonviolence): Mahatma Gandhi

World of Raising Kids in a Multicultural Environment

September 15, 2017

by Featured Guest with No Comment Voices world changers

Indian Books for Children – Bharat Babies Giveaway

September 8, 2017

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 12 Comments Giveaway Voices

The Give Away Has Ended. This post is a collaboration of Raising World Children and Bharat Babies but the opinions are of the author.

Mythology is hard to explain. There are often so many complicated story lines that can be hard to comprehend, specially by minds yet to grow. Enter Bharat Babies. Since, I came across them I wanted to get a hold of the amazing line up they seemed to have. Using Indian culture to explain simple concepts to kids. Not religiously, but using mythology as the base for story telling. Stories for every level of reader and from every walk of life!

Surely enough, once I got my hands on the books my expectations were surpassed. They are not only easy to read and explain but also have concepts that are profound in their thought.

Padmini is Powerful

When I read Padmini is Powerful to my kids they understood what each God in Indian mythology stands for. Not just that, what quality of them they hold within themselves. And this is true for every single child. They Are Powerful. My daughter loves sitting and looking at the pictures of the different Gods and Goddesses. And Padmini is so cute that she can totally see herself in the story!

Sarla in The Sky

My son is in the phase where he doesn’t know what to make of girls. As a mother and woman, I want to encourage him to accept that girls, when they put their mind to it can do anything. In comes Sarla in the Sky. A book of girl empowerment, setting a wonderful example for boys and girls alike.

Ganesh and the Little Mouse

Another amazing book that I picked up was Ganesh and the Little Mouse. The base for this book is one o my favorite stories of mythology portraying out of the box thinking where you understand that there are often many ways to do the same thing with one of the ways being easier and more meaningful. Not only have Bharat Babies’ author Anjali Joshi explained this but has always used the same story to talk about a different side which I hadn’t discovered till date. My children were enthralled and my son has re read this book a number of times now.

Harini and Padmini Say Namaste

Which brings us to both my kids’ favorite of the books we have collected, ” Harini and Padmini Say Namaste “. My son had done a week long yoga camp in preschool once and since then has been fascinated with the concept. This book is a beautifully depicted, sweet story of a Padmini as she discovers the art of yoga. I can never forget the first time we read the book. My daughter immediately started doing yoga poses as she had seen in the book. My son, “expert” that he is after his camp, went along to correct her and soon began a beautiful bonding session between siblings.

After so loving so many of their books, I was happy to learn that they are coming out with a new venture. A children’s magazine called Choti+Me (Little One and Me). I have already signed up to be the first to know when the new magazine comes out but for RWC readers there is a wonderful opportunity to participate in a give away hosted by Raising World Children and Bharat Babies where we will give away not one, not three but a WHOLE YEAR’s subscription for FREE !!!

You do not want to miss out on this chance of getting 12 months of wonderful stories and activities for your child to grow into a person accepting of new cultures, growing with a global perspective.

DON’T FORGET TO SHARE THIS AWESOME GIVEAWAY OPPORTUNITY WITH FRIENDS! SHARING IS AFTER ALL CARING.

Aditi Wardhan Singh Raising world children

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology When You Are Done Expecting as well.

A Teenage Mother’s Journey Through Education

June 28, 2017

by Tammy Coin with 4 Comments Empowerment Parenting Voices

Life changes on a dime. We are often faced with choices that we don’t always like or want to make.

A Young Girl’s Story

Imagine being a young, mostly good looking teenage girl going to high school. She worked hard to be a good girl, make good grades in school and did what she was told. Prior to being of legal age to get a job, she often worked taking care of children. As soon as she was of legal age to get a job, she did. Because of her unsettling life experiences, it was important to her to do things “the right way”. She wanted to create a life different than the one she knew. Her plan was to finish high school, go to college, get a good job, perhaps get married and maybe have children of her own. After all, that would finally give her a peaceful and happy life, she thought.

As was customary in her life, plans changed on a dime. Again! She met a boy and the next thing she knew, she became pregnant before the end of her junior year of high school.

Reflections of a Teenage Mother

Not sure how or what she would do, she chose to keep her baby and do the best she could. She didn’t know how things would work, but she knew finishing high school was a big part of her mission.

[bctt tweet=”Girls like her were not allowed to attend the regular high school, she chose to continue her education regardless.” username=”doorsofwellness”]

“Girls “like her” were not allowed to attend the regular high school.

She chose to enter an off campus program so her education would go uninterrupted. She wanted to finish school as quickly as possible so she could get a better job.

She took a full load of classes during her senior year, so she could graduate mid-term, get a good job and not return to the high school. In December she went through labor and delivery, then went back to school with the baby and finished all her classes in January. When May arrived, she attended the graduation ceremony with her graduating class and her baby. One of her first teachable moments as a mom.

Education Through Choices

As a young mom, she tried her best to take care of her baby, work a full-time job and carry college courses. It just wasn’t working. Something had to go and she had another choice to make. She needed to take care of her baby and she needed her job to help her do that. The only choice she could find was leaving school. After only finishing 12 college hours, she made the choice to quit.

After many more traumas and many more choices, she did her best to teach her child about the importance of education. Several years passed and that little baby had grown into a fine young woman who was ready to attend college. She made the choice to enroll, too. While they didn’t attend the same program or the same classes, they, once again, attend school together.

Education is Life Long Learning

That young high school girl at the beginning of this story is me. The moment I made the choice to quit college, I had a yearning to return to school. I couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard I tried. As I reflect on the importance of education, I am proud of my accomplishments.

I earned my high school diploma at 17, while also giving birth. At 38, I earned a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Studies, while raising children and going through serious life storms. Earning a Master’s degree in Human Relations Counseling, while working in an unrelated field, happened when I was 44. At 51, I earned a diploma as a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, with several certifications during the middle of one of a Spiritual Awakening. At 52, I am happily working with clients as I bridge the gap between Traditional Counseling and Holistic Healing. It has been a life mission to learn everything I can and teach from the stories of my life.

Education – ” When You Know Better, You Do Better “

During every phase of my life, there were obstacles, tragedies, traumas, and more, but you just keep going. One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is “When You Know Better, You Do Better”.

Education comes disguised in many forms. When we start out in life, we are fresh and new with very little insight into what we will value or how our lives will change. We are molded and shaped by our experiences and circumstances. Those same help us determine our belief systems and our paths. In the moment, we can never fully understand how important our decisions will be in the future.

My life may not have turned out “the right way” as I had hoped, but I have lived my life doing my very best “to know better, so I could do better”. Education is not only important to me, it is vital. My purpose on this Earth is to teach others how to heal from the stories of my life.

Above everything else, the fire inside me is to teach my children that no matter what, I will keep learning better and keep doing better.