Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

by with 13 Comments ContemporaryMindsetSocial Media

Yet another dangerous challenge is doing the rounds on the internet. A mom finds videos on YouTube that tells kids to do harmful things to themselves or others through MOMO Challenge. I have known for quite some time that YouTube if not used in limit has the potential to be very harmful to kids and their mindset. At the end of the day, it is a tool to be wielded by the person holding it. As a gadget or as a weapon.

Using YouTube as a Crutch for Education and Baby Sitting

It happens often with new parents and it was with me also. When he was small, I let my son watch the fun animated videos on YouTube. Keeping him occupied, it was super convenient for me to work around the house or just do my thing. Soon he was watching kids unboxing videos and being adamant that he wants the same toys. He was so attracted to it all!

We observed the change in his behavior just in time, I think. Ask him to stop watching and he would revolt!

We decided to stop giving him the device then. Any videos online were watched only once a week, or as a treat for doing something that we couldn’t get them to do otherwise. Till the day I saw him watching a video on YouTube-Kids where Spiderman and Elsa were pregnant and talking about babies. I went online and found that this was very common where toys would talk about adult topics.

That was the last time we let kids have Youtube in their hands.

From then on, any video would only be streamed on TV and only those that I had researched.

youtube harmful kids safely

Affect of Online Propaganda As Kids Get Older

But it doens’t end there. Even with those videos streamed, the advertising certainly become a bane during shopping as kids request for things that we have never even heard of. It breeds materialism, at such an early age. Instead of advertising to parents, now stores have direct access to little children. Which is why we need to talk to them early about having enough and buying only what we really need.

But it isn’t only toys. The propaganda can go in deep.

One day, we were driving around and my son, then 7, spotted a political poster. He repeated verbatim the negative campaigning we had seen on YouTube before you can skip ad.  We had laughed over how often those ads keep coming up, but it had not occurred to me how much of an impact they were having on my family’s vision of the world we lived in.

Here was my son repeating something he had no idea about, without any proof himself. How horrendous it is to have the whole coming generation blatantly influenced so negatively!


 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful To Kids

Idle Time Consumption

In the  time a child could be creating or discovering the outside or their own thought processes, they are busy consuming content that may or may not be productive towards their growth.

Instant Gratification

YouTube gives you what you want at the click of a button. It gives them a false sense of adrenaline rush to get what they want the moment they want it. Life does not work that way and this is disturbing.

Dangerous Hidden and Not so Hidden Propaganda

As seen with the recent discovery of the MOMO Challenge and earlier when they were showing adult content through kids’ videos, these challenges and trends will keep happening again and again people find ways to influence children in a disgusting or subtle way. Some ways are clearly obvious, others not so much.

Peer Pressure

In a time  when we want them more than ever to be able to stand their ground in the face of external influence, we let them watch videos of advertisements of kids playing video games or unboxing toys or just playing pranks. And of course once, they start looking up to a certain YouTube star, they want to use what they are using and doing.

Unregulated CONTENT

In a time when we should actually be very cautious about what we let our children watch and the age rating of something, instead we let them have a gadget and watch whatever their little hearts lean towards. Which can possibly have anything within. It is so unfortunate though now, that they let free on a platform that is totally unregulated, with videos being uploaded every few minutes.

Distorted Thinking

The constant instant gratification and change in video watching as they scroll through different topics makes kids unable to learn to focus. They learn way more than their little minds can comprehend and that leads to distracted and distorted view of the real world.

Reality TV for Kids

This is my personal peeve since I do not approve of any reality television. Even though most people know it is scripted, to show people in such a vulnerable and bad lighting in the guise of popular television is just sad. It makes us all so cynical of the world view for it is real life but people play games with each other’s emotions for money or fame. And what is YouTube but reality television for children.

Emotional Impact

As I mentioned my personal experience, I could visibly see my son’s behaviour change for the worse and it was clear to me the impact the incessant scrolling was having on him. And I believe that goes a long way to show the impact on any child for the above reasons. When they do not get their fix, they retaliate violently, which only grows.

Eye Strain

Very recently people have come across the harmful effects of screen time. Recently when getting my son glasses, the technician said get the expensive ones that help against gadget use. My answer was that my kids do not use gadgets that much yet.

How to Use YouTube Safely

No Personal Account for Kids

Please do not give little kids their own accounts. Yes, it avoids your personal account being flooded by kids videos but it is totally not needed for kids to feel in ownership for YouTube account. The moment kids feel in charge, they start watching whatever they feel like.

Clear Your Browser History

We are adults who sometimes click on things that are inappropriate. And that leads to YouTube showing videos that are similar in the suggested video section. Make sure to clear your browser history to ensure kids do not end up even watching a thumbnail that is inappropriate.

Make Kids Watch YouTube on TV

Anything they watch should be streamed via television through chormecast, roku, apple etc where everyone can see what is being consumed. Stay close and monitor often what kids are watching.

Make a Playlist

This is tedious but very important for your child’s safetly. Go through every video you plan to let them watch and make an approved playlist of the videos.

Talk to Kids About What to Watch and how to behave online

No matter how safe you be, it could still happen that they go to someone’s house and watch something inappropriate. With my son, I have told him he goes to people’s house to play, not to watch TV or play videos games. So when someone suggests to watch TV, it’s time to go home. Also, I have talked to my son about how important it to to behave appropriately online as it is just like in real life. With cyber bullying rampant, it is so much more important for kids to know early how to be online.

Download Control Apps

Mcafee safe family – Download this or any other app to keep an eye on what your child is doing online. You can track all your devices. My husband and I have the app in our phones and we can check which sites they are visiting and which videos they are watching on YouTube. You can block the sites from the app too.

Enable YouTube Safety Mode on computers

Go to the bottom of any YouTube page and turn Safety Mode on.  (Learn how).  Safety Mode won’t catch everything – even YouTube acknowledges this – but it will prevent some unsavory content from younger eyes. For example, with Safety Mode turned on you cannot watch the video titled “Call Me Maybe (Dirty Parody)”.  The other nice thing about Safety Mode is that user comments are not immediately visible.  You have to specifically click to view them.  This is my favorite feature of Safety Mode.  Sometimes the video itself is fine, but the comments are rude, mean, and totally inappropriate.

Set a Time or videos Limit

As with everything, moderation needs to be promoted within children to impart self control. Make sure they know not to exceed 20 mins of time or 3 videos or a pre decided limit.

Make Videos a Treat

In my home, video watching on YouTube on television is a treat that they get as a bonus when they achieved something.

Use outdoors, Books and Streaming sources Instead

All the things you find easy to do with YouTube, can just as easily be done with books. The local library and book stores are wonderful resources to provide your child for endless wonderment. All the shows your kids so love are easily available on Prime Video or Netflix or for free on PBS Kids or Disney. Create a love in your child for reading or let them spend time outdoors.

 


Don’t Fall for ” YouTube-Kids is safe “

No matter what, Youtube or any platform that is not controlled by moderators is open for unsafe content being uploaded onto it. In different ways. So make sure you do not give kids access to your gadget or online videos in the false notion that it is  safe.

The only safe way for kids is to be constantly vigilant on what they are consuming, searching for what is appropriate content online and then making sure our children have only limited use.

What tips would you add to this? Comment below and share with other parents.

 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful & How to Use it Safely

The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

by with 7 Comments Education

When I was a kid, my mum was very good at sewing and cooking. She cooked very tasty meals and could stitch up any torn or loosened cloth in the house. Her sewing skills came very handily in those moments when a button on our uniforms or clothes came loose, say on a school morning. What about cloth fittings and adjustments? She was just a pro!

I think she got the traits from her own mum who ran a fashion house and a bakery when they were kids. In those days as kids — and even till today — if you haven’t tasted my mum’s chicken, then you’re missing out.

As kids, my siblings and I were very keen on learning especially about sewing. When I went away to a boarding school, the skill was handy as well to me whenever I got a tear or any loose threads on the seams of my uniform and other clothing. I was very good that other students trusted me with their own sewing work.

On a lighter note, if I had the business sense I have now, I’d have monetized it and made money from all those students.

We also learned to cook superb meals from our mum. Today, we are armed with so much life skills that we can survive in any circumstance.

If you have children, you should know the importance of having them acquire sewing and cooking skills. By learning sewing and cooking skills, your child is not only learning life skills that will be useful to them in the future, but it will afford you the opportunity to spend quality time with your kids.

sewing cooking children

By the time they’d be old enough to leave home, you’ll not only be proud that they are sufficiently skilled in the kitchen as well as with sewing, but you’ll be glad you established the kind of relationship with your kids that can only come from bonding with them while doing projects like this.

Without further ado, let’s get down to our topic to discover the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children.


Your children learn to be committed to their goals

When you get your children to learn sewing and cooking, you’re actually teaching them commitment. As learners, they are bound to experience some challenges. They will certainly get stuck somewhere and will feel the frustration that comes with drawbacks when something is not working as expected.

They will learn to remain focused and committed to their goals until it is achieved. This is an invaluable life-long skill that can make them successful in their careers and goals in life.

So, get down to it! Get them started with some easy sewing projects for children and along the line, introduce them to more technical and harder projects.

It can bring out the creative side of your children

We all know that a skill like cooking is all about creativity. Recipes are not written in stone. Getting your children to cook introduces them to the flexibility of the skill and can bring out their possibly redundant and untapped creative mind.

Sewing too is not left out. When you engage your children in sewing projects, you’re basically training them to be creative — and that’s a good thing for their future.

It boosts their self-confidence

We cannot count the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children without mentioning the dose of confidence it gives them. This self-confidence comes from the sense of accomplishment that they feel when they have achieved or created something. Their new ability to start something and finish it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes, it could be a new recipe that they have never used before, a meal they thought was way beyond their skill level, or even a sewing project they thought was too big for them which later turned out perfect. Whatever it is, completing such projects and doing it well can give their self-confidence a mighty boost. They will learn that they can do anything as long as they put their minds to it.

They learn service

Cooking especially inculcates in a child, a sense of service to people around them. By cooking family meals, they are actually serving the family and will through it, learn to serve others and show them love by preparing and serving them good meals.

They do not only learn to serve others but themselves too. They will learn to do things for themselves and not sit by, expecting other people to wait on them. Sewing teaches them to find a solution to their problems and actually solve them.

It enhances their motor skills.

Sewing especially can help your children develop their motor skills. By cutting out a pattern and following it to sew and create what they want, they are actually training the dexterity of their fingers and developing fine motor skills that will benefit them in the future.

Finally, the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children cannot be overemphasized. It helps them become more coordinated, patient and responsible. They will become go-getters so get your children sewing and cooking today!

 


The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Chidlren. Are you empowering them for the future ?

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

by with 8 Comments HeritageLanguages

My son refused to speak or learn Hindi. Even though, we could see he could understand Hindi completely. How we knew was when his grandparents were visiting and he responded appropriately to their discussion solely in Hindi about when they should go back. Besides, he would vehemently respond should we ever talk about something he did not want to do. But embracing it, was a struggle!

We also made a lot of mistakes in teaching it to him. “The cries of I’m American, why do I need to learn Hindi?” ran rampant in our home. The conversations about how important it is to speak two or more languages went long and hard.

But why did this reluctance exist at all? I thought about it and related to it with my own upbringing.

My mother tongue, the language I grew up with, would ideally be English. Since I spoke it most often with my parents, friends, teachers etc. The language of my mother though is Marathi. The language spoken in my maiden home is Hindi as is the same that is spoken in my home today, other than English. My mother tried to teach me Marathi but at the time, I jumbled them all and she dropped it. Gave her an edge to talk in secret with her family members too. haha! I did learn to understand it completely but I wish today I had all the advantages to learning a native language. After all, most people around me are multilingual.

With my son, a mindset shift needed to be made.

What do do when your child refuses to learn their native language

Being Persistent

Once I realized the mistakes I had been making,  I worked on improving on them. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have. I used many practical ways to ensure that we made the effort to learn the language. The persistence would eventually pay off when all the tips were combined with the below. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have.

Working with Siblings

It was gradual, the shift in mindset. I kept working with my children constantly. With my two children I have often seen that if I need one to learn something, being persistent with one improves the other. Seeing his sister picking up the language so excitedly, sparked an interest and maybe a little competition edge too as he would see our joy at her attempts.

Friends Who Spoke Their Own Native Language

This was a wonderful happenstance. During play dates, his friends would talk about going to learn their mother languages and one even spoke to me in Marathi. That made him realize that this is something most people do. And it is fun when you can connect with your friends. Even in my book, I have used Hindi proverbs to bring home life lessons that are essential for children to grow with strong values.

Speaking It With My Own Friends

It is rude to talk in a different language in front of others, but bringing it up in reference to something while talking about life back home or how something is done in your own heritage or maybe a quote shows kids that there are things unique to your language that is interesting. Kids are always listening. 

Watching Fun Movies

Most Hindi movies are not very child friendly. I found a few that I knew would pique his interest. About warriors, sports etc that had good messages. Reading subtitles, he developed a desire to watch more content.

Simplifying The Learning

I did everything. Made up simple stories. Taught them a couple of words a day. Fun little quizzes when we were walking around. Spoke to them only in Hindi on weekends.

I essentially took the pressure off the learning. Instead of committing a time, I did it almost all day long, in various sneaky ways. The progress he shows now is overwhelming. His sister is way ahead of him now, but his desire to learn his mother tongue is heart warming.

What helps YOU in teaching your kids? Was anyone you know ever reluctant to learn their mother language? What helped them in the mental shift?

You can grab our free checklist for making sure kids speak their native language OR get my bestselling book that talks about multilingualism in detail with many practical tips to help your child.

 


How Involved Should My Child Be in My Divorce?

How Involved Should My Child Be in My Divorce?

by with 5 Comments MindsetParenting

Divorces are stressful and involve a certain amount of pain for everybody. As parents, we all want to protect our children from the negative effects of divorce.

The good news is that it is completely possible to get divorced and raise well-adjusted children. The bad news is that we are all prone to make some of our worst parenting mistakes during the upheaval that is a divorce.

Every child and every divorce is different and it’s impossible to come up with one set of solutions that will fit everybody. However, there are some principles that we can all adapt to help children come out on the other side stronger, happier, and well adjusted.

Be Aware of Maturity Level

Different children, even within the same age level, are each at differing levels of maturity. What can be plainly discussed with one child can be stressful and upsetting for another. While it is extremely important to be open and communicative with your children during a divorce, it’s also important to be aware of their maturity level. This can be hard to determine, especially when you yourself are under a lot of stress.

The best way to know how much to share with your child and what words to use to explain a difficult situation is to take them to a child therapist. Therapists that specialize in working with children will meet with you and your child to assess their maturity level, then will be able to counsel you in the best way to break bad news, as well as how to explain complicated situations.

Even if you feel you know your child better than they know themselves, even just a single consultation with a professional therapist can help you best assess the best methods of communicating a difficult situation.

Maintain Your Relationship as a Parent

Often, kids will take on the role of caretaker to a parent who they see is having a hard time. Sometimes parents unwittingly allow the roles to reverse, relying on emotional support from their children as they navigate the fallout of their divorce.

Remember that they are still children, even if they happen to be older and seem mature enough to handle it. If you don’t have an adequate support system in place, now is a good time to build one. Attend group therapy or support groups. Find grown-ups who can hold your hand during this difficult time.

It’s important to be communicative with your child and honest about the situation, and it’s okay to let them know that you’re stressed or having a hard time, but it is equally important that they don’t come into a position where they feel responsible for your wellbeing.

Don’t lie

Hiding the truth from your kids is not the same as protecting them. Children are very intuitive and much more observant than we give them credit for, often hearing conversations we didn’t mean for them to hear and figuring out more than we wanted them to know. Don’t lie to them about the reality of your circumstances.

Talk to them on their level, answer their questions honestly, and help them to confront difficult realities. This is especially important in cases where domestic violence has become an issue. Pretending that everything is fine when it clearly isn’t only creates confusion and uncertainty for your child. While you want to tailor your explanations to their maturity level, don’t lie or withhold the basic truths of the situation.

Letting them know the details of the situation in this way informs them that you yourself are aware of the problem and are taking care of it, giving them a greater sense of certainty. One of the ways you can do this is to allow the child to speak to the family attorney involved in the divorce where appropriate. While the child, depending on their age and maturity, may find the conversation boring, they will appreciate the opportunity to give some input and see the person that is handling the divorce.

Attorneys are able to maintain calm even in the most heated situations, and seeing their calm in the face of the divorce may help your child feel more confident in the success of the proceedings. Again, it is also okay to let your child know that you personally are hurt and upset, as long as it isn’t in a manner that suggests you expect them to do something to fix it.

Letting them know the truth of a situation includes letting them know that you will be there to help them and that you are taking the appropriate steps to take care of yourself as well as them.

Use Tact

No matter how you feel about your ex, that person is still one of the most important people in the world to your child. Talking badly about your ex in front of your child puts them in the unfair position of having to choose sides.

This may seem impossible in situations where abuse or cheating has taken place, but you can still communicate that your ex has done something wrong without forcing your child to choose who they love more.

Ensure that you are in a level-headed position when discussing these events with your child, and if you are unsure how to approach the situation, then it is important to discuss the issue with a child therapist.

Even if your child seems on board with complaining about all of the faults of your ex, this may be a front put on to avoid conflict with you. If your child still has a strong emotional bond with your ex, badmouthing them can cause your child to fear expressing their feelings honestly with you in case you come to associate the child with the ex or think your child doesn’t love you as much because they don’t agree with you.

Also, don’t use your child as a spy or a messenger. It’s not okay to quiz them about what is going on in your ex’s life, nor is it okay to expect them to keep secrets for you. This once again forces children to take sides and can be extremely traumatizing them, causing issues that last the rest of their lives.

how involved should my child be in my divorce? How do I talk to my child about my divorce?

It goes without saying that if you are escaping a situation where violence and abuse are an issue, a divorce is much more stressful and complicated. In these situations, it is vital that your child be taken to a child therapist, especially as the abusive spouse may have hurt your child in ways that they have yet had the courage to confess.

In other cases, use your discretion, but consider consulting with a professional when you become uncertain about how to address these difficult topics with your child. In all divorces, however, it is important that you keep your child informed of both the situation and with every important development along the way.

A divorce is very isolating for the child involved, so letting them know that you, and your ex if possible, love them as much as before and aren’t keeping any secrets from them.

What is your take on this ?

Meghan Belnap is a freelance writer who enjoys spending time with her family. She loves being in the outdoors and exploring new opportunities whenever they arise. Meghan finds happiness in researching new topics that help to expand her horizons. You can often find her buried in a good book or out looking for an adventure. You can connect with her on Facebook right here and Twitter right here.
Valentines Need Not Be a Lavish Celebration to Be Meaningful

Valentines Need Not Be a Lavish Celebration to Be Meaningful

by with 6 Comments festivals
Romance from Indian movies is way more cheesy than any Valentines celebration can ever be. But Valentines day is very much a western/commercial influence in most multicultural homes. What can this celebration of love actually teach children, you ask?

Love for me has always been simple. Our first Valentine’s Day together was the most incredible! He surprised me with dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant. Then we headed out for what would turn out to be one of my favorite movies “Definitely, Maybe.” And then we drove around town talking the night away. It never got fancier than this but it was always special.

I have always known romance is kind of overrated. Love is much more than candy, long walks, lavish surprises and candlelit dinners.

So, why celebrate Valentines at all ?! Do we really need to show our children that you have to celebrate on this ONE day?

No, we really don’t. We should show our love every single day. But let’s face it. In our every day hustle of getting through the routines, classes, homework and our own agendas taking this one MORE day to show our love is not too bad either!

If we don’t fall into the materialistic trap, what is Valentine’s Day but another excuse to spend time with those we care the most about. And we can never have enough of those right?

Love that celebrates the tantrums, growing pains, and sick days when cooking was forgotten and messy house and hair ruled! What we are doing is marking this day with more memories of ttime together that make us laugh and our eyes well up with tears.

This love is more pure than any other. It takes hard work. Every. Single. Day!

In my book, I talk about how important it is for children to see that love is so much more about respect and nurturing. And I wish my kids can see that kind of love, in the people they eventually look towards for support through a lifetime of struggles and triumphs. How will they learn unless we as parents show them that it matters.

So our valentines are made memorable by rejoicing in our little family  –

Handmade Keepsakes

Fancy gifts have been replaced by keepsakes. Handprints. Footprints. You name it, we have it. Pinterest is full of simple crafts to do with your little ones no matter how old they are.

Simple heart cut out of papers, with loving messages written on them is a great way too. You could also choose to

Make adorable Monster Pom poms
Easy Valentines Pop Up Cards

This year I’m gifting both the kids books I got from the local library sale as they both enjoy reading. Also, I did the thing where I posted a note of what I love about them on their door. We are going to read them all on V-day. It is paramount kids learn early that gifts/acts of care are not about BIG gifts.

Really See Ourselves

To love another, we need to know ourselves better. For if we can love ourselves with all our imperfections, we can surely love those around us more fully.

And who better to give you a real perspective that the little ones who have no filter. Every year I ask my kids questions. I record their answers in a journal or a fancy card that later goes into the journal. Their answers are super cute and so heartwarming to go back to and read. It’s fascinating to see the world as they see it.

  • What does dad like to do?
  • Who do you love more?
  • What’s your favorite food?
  • What is your sister’s favorite thing to do?
  • Who do you think mom loves?
  • What do you love to do?

As the kids get older, I can make the questions help me see myself in a better light. It helps the kids learn how to self evaluate as well.

A Themed Dinner

Restaurants used to be a hassle. So, every year our meal is home cooked and made fancy for us. Something to a theme, that we can cook together. We have been doing a lot of baking: brownies, cakes, cupcakes.  Decorating together. Cooking together. Setting the table as a family, are all fun things to do. The kids do whatever they can. We have a blast creating memories while learning kitchen skills.

Decorating the Home

I always do a little something to make the home feel a bit more festive. My son is older now, and my daughter has a lot of opinions. So what do we do? We head to the dollar store and brainstorm a few items appropriate for Valentine’s Day. Then we go home and decorate together. Nothing too lavish ever mind you, but I personally enjoy shopping with my little ones. Getting inventive with little is certainly a must have talent.

Spending Time With Our Village

Valentine’s Day is a super special time to enjoy those we truly care about. Being with friends only shows our little ones how important it is to nurture relationships. And nothing is better than having a party to enhance the occasion. You could just have a potluck with no major frills. If we do have a party, we do a photo booth with props or a small budget meaningful card/gift exchange that goes with the event. It’s a wonderful way to value relationships. That love is about celebrating every bond!

Games, so Many Games

We make it a super special night with games. I love playing games with the kiddos. The laughter, hugs, and memories we create as we cheat, lie, and run around are truly priceless. You never feel as young as when you play with little ones and relearn the lessons of life with them. If you like, you can grab our free ebook for games, that can actually be played with anyone in the family.

Beats to Your Feet

We make sure to spend a part of the evening dancing our hearts out. It is so therapeutic. and the kids love getting their wiggles out. When we put on some slow songs, the kids get into the fun and slow dance with mom and dad too. Seeing moms and dads enjoying so with the kids, shows how important activity is to mark the occasion. Equality in genders and how to treat someone you care about is something that comes across in the small things.

 

Talk About the Four Pillars of Love

Kindness, Actions, Appreciation & Respect

Our celebrations may be a few of these things, or all of these, but sometime during the festivities, we make sure to discuss the four pillars on which all love stands. We converse about what are the different ways we can be kind and show our appreciation for someone. We discuss about the importance of respect and how we can care for our family members and friends. This conversation for sure lasts all year long.

Wishing you all a wonderful Valentine’s Day as you shower your endearment on those who matter the most.

Share below how your celebrate this special day. Send us pictures/crafts to contact@localhost and we will give you a shout out all across our social media.

Sharing is Caring. Tell your friends about these wonderfully simple ways to celebrate this day.

Valentines Day Simple and Meaningful

pexels-william-fortunato-6393141

Early Signs of Autism EVERY Parent Should Be Aware Of

by with 6 Comments Specially Abled

It can be scary, as a parent, to think that your child has autism. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s a topic that can be avoided. As a parent, you need to know what to watch out for if you think there is a possibility that your child places on the autism spectrum.

Even if your child does not have autism, it’s important to be aware and acknowledge the same through compassionate actions and understanding.

There are a couple of things to note when considering the following early signs of autism. First, if you see these signs, you should consult your child’s pediatrician for a professional opinion. Additionally, if your child does place on the autism spectrum, you should make sure to learn everything you can to help them and know that your family isn’t alone.

When Would I Notice These Signs in My Child?

For this question, there is no single answer. Every child is different. While some children might show signs as early as six months, other children might not show any signs of autism until they are 3 years old.

6 Months

The absolute earliest you might notice your child showing signs of autism is at 6 months. Here, you will want to keep an eye out for a lack of engagement. Specifically, you might notice that your child doesn’t give you big grins like other or babies or don’t keep or only keep limited eye contact.

Between 6 and 18 months, you might also notice that your baby fixates on certain objects as well. It is important to note that babies having a “favorite toy” is different and to a lesser degree than a fixation.

9 Months

For most babies, around 9 months they aren’t talking yet but they probably are babbling. You might even make sounds back and forth with them or you might notice them babble back at you when you talk. For a child showing signs of autism around this time, though, you won’t see a back and forth with this exchange of babbling or responsive facial expressions.

 

16 to 24 Months

Between 16 and 24 months, most children are learning to talk. Closer to 16 months, you might notice single word phrases such as “mama” or “dada.” This is where babbling turns into words that your child relates to something. Closer to 24 months, most babies are using two-word phrases. A sign of autism is that your child is missing these milestones.

You will also notice as a sign of autism if your child’s physical gestures aren’t meaningful. For example, most children might point to their mother and say “mommy” or say the name of a toy and point to it as a sign that they are associating words and items. However, if a child shows signs of placing on the autism spectrum, they might not make meaningful gestures like this.


Further Signs of Autism

Past this point, there are some signs of autism that you should look for at any age.

As your child starts to interact with other children, you might notice a couple things as signs of autism. For instance, your child might draw away from other children and prefer to play by themselves. You might also notice that your child is confused when they are presented with other’s emotions.

Another similar sign you might notice is that your child isn’t responsive to stimuli. For example, if someone calls their name, they might not take notice. When they are talking or interacting with you or others, you also might notice limited or total lack of eye contact – just like we mentioned you might see at earlier stages.

Other signs might be more situational. If a child’s routine is disrupted or their normal environment is changed, they might show resistance. You might see this discomfort when your child starts school.

Signs such as repetitive motions and restricted interests are also things to watch out for. You should also take note if your child lags behind on developmental milestones similar to the delay of speech we mentioned for babies and toddlers.

Finally, you should make sure that you keep an eye out for any regression in your child. If you see any of their social, verbal, or physical skills undoing themselves, this is an important sign.

What Should I Do If I Notice These Signs?

As mentioned earlier, you should bring these signs up with your child’s doctor if you start to notice multiple instances of them. Remember, you should watch for the signs but a trained medical professional should make the final diagnosis.

Annabelle Carter Short is a freelance writer/editor and seamstress of more than 7 years. She also works with few organizations to provide families with the best resources for raising and educating a special needs child. When not working, she’s spending time with her family or putting pen to paper for her own personal pursuits. Annabelle likes to make DIY and crafty projects in her free time with her two kids: Elizabeth (age 6) and Michael (age 8).

How Harvest Festivals Celebrate Change in Every Sphere

How Harvest Festivals Celebrate Change in Every Sphere

by with 5 Comments festivals

Why are harvest festivals celebrated at all? Does it really matter if we mark this time of the year?

Makar Sankranti is the time when new harvest is gathered. Not just that, it heralds the onset of new seasonal change, marking the end of harsh winters and welcoming the blossoming spring season. A slight rise in temperatures, warming and stirring the soul is what marks Sankranti. In fact, it’s not just makar Sankranti, every harvest festival marks a season of change.

It highlights change of weather, change of crop, change of some kind! And change is good! Change is inevitable and so we should learn to embrace it, whole-heartedly, with the right spirit and nothing better that embracing this change, right at the beginning of the year!

I will not talk about how the festival is celebrated because we have already shared all about this season here – Each culture brings about their share of festivities with this harvest festival and so do we, the Bengalis. We make the customary “khuchudi” with the first rice of the season, served with chutney and fried fritters to go along. Apart from that our range of sweets like “pithey” and “patishapta” all flour based sweets, made with “nolen gur” or date palm jiggery, is often the staple dessert menu on this D-day.

What I love most about the festival is that, I embrace the seasonal change and gear up my spring wardrobe slowly and steadily. The house looks and feels warm with the warm morning sun. The beautiful warmth of the streaming sun rays just makes the house glow with a magical spirit!

I remember the entire household décor would go for an overhaul. My mother would vacuum the heavy carpets and curtains and seal them in bags, stuff them in box beds, bring out the lighter curtains, followed by our light upholstery to mark the idea of living with change, while staying the same!

Small superficial things, would often undergo change around us, with slight change in routine too. For example, play time getting extended in mornings (provided there was no fog), a new school routine with more serious tone of work (post the large winter vacations) and less holidays to merry make. Although, in some way, we would feel sad, but the weather always told us to stay hopeful as another change would bring us a new routine!

For instance, for Bengalis, Sankranti is soon followed by “Saraswati puja” or popularly known as “Basant Panchami”, marking the full blown season of spring, dotted with blooming flowers and greenery everywhere.

My mother would often tell me that change to some, can get quite overwhelming, but when you celebrate it, it becomes a happy event and thereby, the change seems more welcoming and seemingly easy!

That’s why celebrating seasonal festivals is good, because it cleanses your mind and soul, and somehow preps you well for the upcoming change in season and maybe, even a routine.

That’s why even though, I don’t do anything more elaborate with these harvest festivals, but still I try and create a different aura at home, to make it feel different that before!

Even I see my son, responding well to the change via festivity of some kind. He looks forward to a different menu, different home décor, maybe a temple visit or visiting some festival related event or simply gathering with friends and family, to spread the cheer! The sheer joy and twinkle in his eyes are more than enough to convince me, that I am doing maybe something right, to make him feel happy!

After all, as parents, we need to create happy memories, to strengthen a happy solid foundation for our children. This will serve as the impetus for their solid growth in the future years! So to me, as a parent, seasonal festivals like harvest festivals are the perfect platform to teach them to value and embrace change, of any kind!

Broaden Your Parenting Horizons

sr

Multi Award-winning Parenting Book – Strong Roots Have No Fear

by with 21 Comments EducationEmpowermentHeritageMulticulturalParenting

Childhood is a country in itself. And the same rules of immigration apply. One needs to observe their culture, learn their language and imbibe traits from them to help build a sense of community. With the belief that if we raise children with a strong value system, we need not fear for their future,  I bring to you Strong Roots Have No Fear.

I am a global citizen, raised shuttling between countries and now parenting children who are American by birth. An Indian writing about challenges every parent faces in our ever evolving world. A Third Culture Kid, I understand first hand what it means to be raised on the borders of multiple countries and cultures.

In this book I have given simple strategies I’ve learned from observing mothers around the world and my own childhood to help raise kids who are confident and have a global mindset early.

This small book made BIG waves around the world by being named TOP 10 among thousands of entries at the Author Academy awards.

Chapters in the book include –

Being an Empowered Parent
Channel Big Emotions
Imbibe Multilingualism
Motivate Self Reliance
Cultivate Talent Within
Balance Technology
Impart Self Moderation
Instill Gender Equality
Counter Bullying
Prepare for Tragedies/Predators
Infuse Your Heritage
Celebrate Diversity
Ingrain Racial Equality
Mantras for Travel
and more …

In short this book includes simple, easy to implement ways in which you can use your child’s strengths to intuitively, be mindful about –

** Raising Confident Children
** Building a Global Mindset

An easy read, this book uses the Author’s experiences as a multicultural child herself and parenting journey to empower multicultural families like her own to raise awareness about important values every child needs to grow strong.

PRESS FOR THE BOOK

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Amazon Reviews (40+)

ABOUT THE BOOK – Strong Roots to Live an Empowered Life

I want for my children is to be safe. And strong. With good behavior and decision making skills to boot, with a lot of kindness sprinkled on. To be rooted in their values, no matter what storms blow across their life. Strong Roots Have No Fear – talks about raising children with a confident and global mindset.

I can only assume you are nodding your heads in unison. Yes, we want our children to excel academically but more than that, we want them to win at life. Not in the getting a trophy kind of way but a, able to find the silver lining in every situation or being a culturally aware kind of way.

Do you worry about your child’s future?

Of course you do. You are a parent. That means fears are a part of your life every single day. Wondering how you will teach your kids to navigate this elaborate maze called life.

I often hear comments of trepidation, “Oh! Wait till they hit their teen years.” or “Some day they are going to forget everything about our culture. ” or “This generation is so spoiled.” etc. and I wonder why are parents doubt the values they are providing their children?  Sure, the kids will have a phase of rebellion and self discovery but that does not mean they will never find their way back. There is no guarantee for tomorrow but to be so negative in your own mindset hampers your child’s vision of themselves.

Having high expectations of our children may hamper their growth but knowing we believe in them will help them stand strong no matter the struggle. And life is so full of struggles, right? While we cannot control our kids future, we as parents sure can create a solid foundation for our children to grow into. Giving them their history to anchor them, their present to grow into and their future to look towards with joy.

When I was young, my mom constantly talked to me about being good, manners, being strong in my choices and a LOT of that had a big effect on many decisions I made later in life. Decisions that were life altering. The lessons my parents taught me and a lot they didn’t, form the crux of all that I have achieved in my life. All the decisions that taken timely saved me in my darkest moments.

That is partly why I started writing about the many challenges parents face in balancing current cultures and their own heritage.  To have one space where parents can go for easy answers or relatable content. That mission grew into what you are reading today, a magazine for parents by parents because we all can after all learn from each other.

Empowering Children to Thrive in a Multicultural World with Intuitive Parenting

Strong Roots Have No Fear

Over the course of the past 8 years, I have come across few simple strategies that negate all the current mumbo jumbo surrounding parenting. All we need to do is trust our instinct and make sure the kids grow rooted within prepared for the many challenges an ever evolving multicultural world will provide.  So how do you give your children strong roots?

  • By providing them sound start in their early years.
  • Teaching kids to stand tall in face of life’s milestones.
  • Imparting the vision to make good choices.
  • A global mindset that helps build awareness within.

To that end, I bring to you the very first book that talks in a most straight forward language about all the above in great detail with tips of everything below. Parenting our children with a strong, culturally aware mindset enables us to be optimistic about their future thus removing a lot of the fear associated with an unknown tomorrow.

In the book you will find

  • The confidence to be intuitive as a parent.
  • Introspection towards mindful living.
  • Timeless strategies to impart a positive mindset.
  • A global approach to nurturing your multicultural family.
  • How to be culturally sensitive and rooted within self.

While the book is aimed at parents raising kids aged 0-10, most of the timeless life lessons in it are applicable to any age really After all, most of us can use reminders of what to do with bullies, how to deal with self doubt, increasing self empowerment, being aware about the world with an open mind etc.

Most importantly, it is not a “one size fits all” solution. It is a – “here is the fabric and ideas, get creative with your own dress” solution to parenting everywhere.

You can find out what people around the world are saying about my writing here. Signing up gives you tons of freebies and also keeps you in the loop as to the progress of the book. 

You can find ALL my work in one place here or get a taste of what the book includes HERE.

I’m passing on all that I have implemented and learned over the past years, so you do not have to ask anyone the question, “What tips would you give me to make sure my kids grow strongly rooted in values, right from the beginning?” .

Don’t forget to share this post with your friends. If you would like to support the growth of this book, you are welcome to join the Strong Roots Book Support Group here.

Don’t Forget to Tell Your Friends or Pin This Post for keepsake. After all sharing is caring!

strong roots have no fear


Raising Confident Kids with a Global Mindset - Strong Roots Have No Fear

20 Ways to Inspire Kids by Showing Up as an Everyday Activist

20 Ways to Inspire Kids by Showing Up as an Everyday Activist

by with 9 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentMindset
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. Martin Luther King, Jr.

What is Activism?

What comes to mind when you hear the term activist? Who or what are you picturing?
In conversations with friends, family members, and clients, I’ve noticed that many folks think that activism is only for people who are doing justice work full time. They associate the term activist with people who are leading protests or lobbying at the state Capitol building every day.
However, I’d like to remind you that every decision you make holds political weight. The personal is political.
That said, activism is work that all of us can engage in.
We all have the tools to stand up for our values and beliefs each and every day. The tools are completely free and are already at your fingertips. No degree or training or materials are necessary.
This is my working definition of activism: Using my resources, including my voice, physical presence, money, energy, and time, to honor and support people, institutions, and policies that align with my values and highest vision for our world.
For example, some of the ways I practice activism on a regular basis include recycling, donating to local organizations that I am inspired by, and taking my own reusable bags to the grocery store.
So, I will ask you to again consider: What comes to mind when you hear the term activist? Who or what are you picturing?
Is there anything different from your first thoughts, feelings, or beliefs? How so?

10 Ways to Show Up as an Everyday Activist

In developing a broad and inclusive definition of activism, one that invites each one of us into mindful living, I have come up with a list of 20 ways to practice everyday activism with your family.
I invite you to print and browse the list below and notice which items you are already doing; circle those numbers. Place a star next to the items that make you feel excited, motivated, intrigued, or curious. Additionally, notice which items you feel most resistant towards; put a dot next to these.
1. Spend time in your community. Get out and about in your neighborhood and city. Just being with diverse groups in the community will support your awareness and growth, and you’ll make meaningful connections.
2. Commit to one small act a day/week that connects to your passions, interests, and values. For example, if you are concerned about environmental issues, you can work on the community garden in your neighborhood. If you are interested in narrowing the class divide, serve at a shelter or food bank.
3. Vote. At every election. Did you know that school boards make a ton of decisions that impact your city at large? Yes, every election and every position matters.
4. Volunteer. Find local organizations to support through your time and energy.
5. Read and research about the topics and issues you are called to AND the ones that feel at the edge of your comfort zone. Read more; explore a range of sources and mediums. Know that you don’t always have to have an answer because questions and curiosity are powerful. Most importantly, stay open to learning more, not only about the “issues” on the table but about yourself as well.
6. Find creative outlets for your processing and expression. As you read and research and talk, things can get heavy and emotional. Having outlets for these feelings is important. I, personally, turn to writing most often. Art and music are other wonderful ways to express the depths of your experience.
7. Share your own stories and experiences as it feels right. When you have a story or experience that speaks to your values and positions, include that in your conversations as you are comfortable and as it feels relevant. Remember that you can engage in conversations virtually and in real life (IRL).
8. Talk with friends and family about the issues you are curious about. Sweeping politics under the rug just doesn’t work, and, furthermore, it’s a symptom of privilege. The call to action here is to be authentic in naming your values and concerns and engaging your loved ones on these topics.
9. Support products, services, and companies that DO align with your values. Spend your money supporting people and institutions that you agree with. Local is always a great place to start if this feels obscure or overwhelming.
10. Boycott products, services, and companies whose values DON’T align with yours.  Simply don’t buy from companies that don’t align with your values. Look into big brands, whether they make food, cleaning products, cosmetics, or clothing, and learn about how ethical (or not) they are.
11. Write letters, send faxes, or call local and federal politicians. Follow the legislation that is being proposed in your state and at the federal level. When you find a law that you align with, write or call in your support. Likewise, when you find a law that you see as harmful, write or call in your dissent. Find out who represents you here!
12. Use online petitions and bots to send letters and opinions. Show support for issues you care about by signing on to (or starting!) petitions; explore change.org to get started signing today. You can also easily write letters to your politicians through bots like resist.bot.
13. Share and retweet content on social media. The internet has allowed us to share issues and solutions in a matter of seconds. Hashtags have helped people gather both virtually and IRL, and one way that you can show support for movements, news, and leaders is by sharing or retweeting. #BlackLivesMatter helped us realize the power of the internet in creating a movement and inspiring professional and “everyday” activists to gather together.
14. Journal. Explore your own biases and gaps in knowledge and experience. When you have questions and curiosities, go to the page. Ask yourself to think through the questions. Maybe, like me, you’ll end up with more questions, and this, too, is growth.
15. Incorporate donation into regular events you host or attend. Ask friends to bring canned food or feminine hygiene products to events. Then, donate the collection to local organizations. Typically, most people will have these items on hand already so this is a great way to engage your community in activism.
16. Host or participate in book clubs or conversation groups that are focused on current events and issues. You can find established book clubs via MeetUp.com or branch out on your own to gather a group of folks who are interested in reading and being curious together. I have facilitated a feminist book club and a Decentering Whiteness community in Austin, Texas, for example.
17. Find mentors and guides. Lots of them. Notice which leaders you are feeling called to. Which ones challenge you and offer you opportunities for growth? Again, explore different mediums— podcasts, books, Instagram influencers, and so on.
18. Enroll in trainings to learn more about issues you care about and/or to hone your activism skills. Seek out trainings (again, online or IRL) to support you in your journey. Check with your employer to see if they are willing to sponsor your learning opportunities!
19. Financially support activists, educators, politicians who are working for change. Give money to folks on the front lines, people who are dedicating their lives to this work. You can do this through organizations, Patreon, or Venmo, for example. Many activists are sharing their Venmo accounts and taking compensation in this way.
20. Practice self-care. In order to show up fully for this work, you’ll need to be refueled and recharged. Maintain practices that allow you to rest and relax!

Practicing Activism as a Family

Activism is not adult work, it’s human work. Each item on this list is available to the children and teens in your life. Making activism a part of everyday family life will support tremendous growth, from self-awareness to connection with others to participation in community. This is what Connected Hearts is all about.
As you begin this work, you may find yourself and your family ready to engage in meaningful, yet difficult, conversations. This guide will support your family as you engage in these tough chats.
Here’s to living with open hearts and minds as we work together as human activists! See you out there!
Bring the Warmth of Lohri into Your Homes This Winter

Bring the Warmth of Lohri into Your Homes This Winter

by with 7 Comments festivalsHeritage

Celebrated on the 13th of January every year, Lohri is celebrated to mark the end of peak winter, this festival is traditionally associated with the harvest of the rabi crops. The traditional time to harvest sugarcane crops is January, therefore, Lohri is seen by some to be a harvest festival. And thus, Punjabi farmers see the day after Lohri (Maghi) as the financial New Year. The festival of Lohri, which is celebrated primarily by Sikhs and Punjabi Hindus all across India and is traditionally believed to welcome the sun to the northern hemisphere. Observed a night before Makar Sankranti, this occasion involves a Puja Parikrama around the bonfire with prasad.

The rituals related to Lohri symbolize the attachment of the people with Mother Nature.

You can choose to mark this occasion in any way you like.

I have been celebrating Lohri since a few years now, with friends who have shared their festivities with us. From simple celebrations at home with snacking on the traditonal peanuts, popcorn, seasame to lavish parties with all of us dressed up in Punjabi attire with our hair decked in Parandas and dancing around a bon fire.

As anyone who has ever celebrated the festival in full fervor around the bonfire would tell you–gur rewri, peanuts and popcorns are threeedibles associated with this festival. Besides these, in Punjab’s villages, it is a tradition to eat Gajjak, Sarson da Saag and Makki Di Roti on the day of Lohri. It is also traditional to eat ’til rice’–sweet rice made with jaggery (gur) and sesame seeds.

Going around the fire singing “Sunder mundriye ho!”, adding popcorn, sesame etc to the fire dancing in the winters is a celebration you have to experience ONCE in your life time. It brings Punjab right into your heart.

The folklore — Sunder Mundriye — is actually the tale of a man called Dulla Bhatti, who is said to have lived in Punjab during the reign of Mughal Emperor Akbar. Being quite the ‘Robin Hood’ back in the day, Dulla Bhatti used to supposedly steal from the rich, and rescue poor Punjabi girls being taken forcibly to be sold in slave markets. He then went on to arrange their marriages to boys of the village, and provided them with dowries (from the stolen money). Amongst these girls were Sundri and Mundri, who have now come to be associated with Punjab’s folklore, Sunder Mundriye.

 

via GIPHY

Read this book about the festival of Lohri to your kids.

Lohri holds extra significance when there’s a new marriage or new born in the family.

Simple ways to celebrate Lohri are –

  1. Fly a Kite. Please don’t say you don’t know how to fly one! …
  2. Enjoy snacks of peanuts, popcorn, chikki etc while sitting around a fireplace.
  3. Dress up in parandas/colorful Indian attire.
  4. Have Sarso Da Saag and Makki Di Roti.
  5. Light up a bonfire.
  6. Dance around the fireplace with your friends and family.
  7. Read a book or watch videos about Punjabi folk tales/Lohri

You can see the fun of Lohri in this song from the movie Veer Zara. It wonderfully captures the essence of this festival. Colorful dresses, teasing between friends/family, food and dance is a big part of most Indian celebrations.

Have you heard of this festival before? Would you bring the warmth of Lohri into your home?

The Worst Fear of Every Immigrant - Having to Leave it All Behind

The Worst Fear of Every Immigrant – Having to Leave it All Behind

by with 5 Comments ImmigrationMindset

No one tells kids how life can suddenly throw you a curve ball and you are supposed to act as if you expected it all along.

It was a simple life, my family of four. A tiny apartment, family friends and weekends spent enjoying celebrations. Much like life is now in Richmond.

I was 10 and happy to just have become elder sister to a little brother. We had just visited Iraq on a month long trip seeing all the sights and meeting the friendliest strangers. Till some of those very strangers (I presumed at age 10) helped invade Kuwait August 1990.

When we visited India, 3 months every year, I never ever thought we would one day have to take refuge in our motherland. Leaving a whole life built behind. Moving with nothing but an purse full of jewelry and a bag full of diapers for a 6 month old.

Life was different. A room on top of the terrace, with a tin roof that made atrocious sounds when rain or hail came. A school in which I failed in the first semester, pining for my dad. Caste system. Relatives. Being a non vegetarian in an all vegetarian household was

All were jarring to a 10 year old. Not with any awareness mind you! I had no conscious inkling of how all this was affecting me. I just went along with everything, because, hey! I was a a kid. My life was all about making it through whenever and wherever we were.

Once my dad came back, we moved to a different city. A home my dad could build after losing everything because he had savings to fall back on. Two years of me building memories, another safe haven and learning dance and then that too changed with my parents deciding to move back to Kuwait.

Back to a tiny apartment, family friends and weekends. But you see, things has changed. Everything felt a shade greyer. There weren’t as many celebrations anymore. Fewer parties. People kept more to themselves and saved every penny and thing they owned, for the day they had to leave Kuwait again.

Living with the Worst Fear of Every Immigrant - Having to Leave it all Behind

It was not a question of IF anymore, but a WHEN.

There were after all around us the reminders that some day everything could disappear again and we would be left with nothing. The old apartment that we would pass by, the tanks, the buildings that were destroyed and of course the liberation tower.

The entire older generation turned into squirrels. Foraging for winter. Either you had people not buying anything and saving everything or my parents, who bought everything twice, keeping one in India whenever we went there for the time, we had to go back. Even if after retirement.

My mom became a borderline hoarder of things. She currently has things going back to 1990. Not just for sentimental reasons but out of fear. I get why she does it, but I hate it. It means we have cupboards full of things no one needs anymore, or could even use if they wanted to.

Yes, life had certainly changed.

The Constant Reassurance to Self

Today, I feel abhor storing things and am constantly purging. The possibility of moving our whole family back to India at a moment’s notice is an underlying rhythm to my days. Losing everything my husband and I have so lovingly built haunts me, more so now that I am a parent and think about what my parents had to go through. It makes me extremely conscious of choosing anything I buy or put my time into.

No matter where You end up living with your family, you have to be very aware that you are but a phone call aware from losing all that you have. Your pretty things, furniture, cookware, photos even. Poof!

So, make memories with those you love, and take full advantage of EVERY city you live in. Be mentally prepared for tragedies and constantly converse with your children about the world so they know that a place, at the end of the day is just that. A place. Who you are inside is what matters.

For my America born kids, India can only be as much as home as for me, a Kuwait born child was. Is. The day it happens, I hope they can happily acknowledge that the place they live in does not define who they are, their experiences do. Their values do. And how they live does.

A home is wherever your family is.

What advice do you have for people who live in this fear?

 

The Accepted Culture Of "Body Shaming"

The Accepted Culture Of “Body Shaming”

by with 5 Comments Mindset

I will begin by saying, I was very apprehensive talking about this topic “Body Shaming”.

We are a multicultural platform. Often we talk about how various issues are dealt across different cultures. I for one is always on the lookout for things that might be similar across all cultures. One that tops the charts is “body shaming”, so despite my hesitation here I am.

The “culture of body shaming” is one concept that is consistent across all “cultures”.

No disparity, trust me.

If you have a physical drawback in one culture then you have it across all the cultures and you will be duly reminded of it. This begins from the day you are born.

So were you a cute as a baby or not so much? See what i mean?

DO YOUR PARTICIPATE IN BODY SHAMING

It comes in so many forms and is mostly termed harmless, even wrapped as “constructive” criticism.

If any conversation or comment about your physical appearance belittles you, makes you question your worth or as a result of which you gradually lose confidence in yourself then it is “body shaming”.

This is a very difficult and somewhat sensitive subject, all the same talking about “body shaming” is tantamount for a healthy childhood. Surprisingly it affects kids and at very young age too.

A flippant remark about someones physical appearance can change the way kids look at people. The worth of a person gets associated with how they look and a tiny seed of body shaming is sown.

Granted we cannot watch what we say all the time but being a bit more careful before judging someone solely on their physical appearance can go a long way.

How can we deal with body shaming? Here are a few things I feel might help.

PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN A BODY

One morning in 1994 thousands of teenage girls across India waited with bated breath in front of their television screens as Sushmita Sen was crowned “Miss Universe”.

These pageants are supposed to be all about physical beauty but it also signified something dramatic, something more significant.

That moment is etched on so many minds as a declaration to the world “we girls of India have arrived, we can touch the sky”. For many teen eyes it was about what a girl can be and achieve in new day India.

Sadly, overtime it became all about physical beauty and even Sushmita Sen was not above body shaming.

The Miss Universe straightened her crown and proved to the world she is more than a beautiful body. An epitome of inner strenghth. A person who owns her decisions and grows with them.

Every strong person who can forge their own path and gets back up after each fall is a beautiful person. Beauty is as beauty does.

ENDORSE SELF LOVE

It’s so easy to count your physical flaws everyday for recreational purposes. But when your 6 year old tells you they don’t like their face it hits you hard.

It won’t matter how many times you tell them they are perfect as they are. It has to start with you.

Children imitate what they see including body shaming.

To endorse self love in our kids we need to endorse it ourselves. Love that not so perfect nose, flabby tummy, the skin that could have behaved better at ageing. Everything.

We need to learn “If i love my body no one has the right to tell me otherwise”.

Be warned Self love is very difficult. I have had near strangers remind me to be unhappy because of my body and how it looks “ugly”.

Their duty done, all in the name of promoting a healthy life, sprinkled with the holy knowledge that guarantees longevity. Only forgetting to mention “Also be very careful while crossing any roads, use zebra crossings, and you will live to eternity”.

Though only what is does is, add one more miserable person to the bandwagon of self haters with a few million more to go.

Your body has only you to love it, improve it if possible but do not hate it. There are enough people doing it for you.

PROMOTE A BETTER OUTLOOK

My children need to learn that no persons body gives them the right to shame it. Nor does anybody has the right to do the same to them.

I highly commend those people who change their bodies for the better. What if some one is incapable of doing so? Don’t they deserve a happy judgement free existence?

As it is the world has too many broken people, no one needs to add to it.

There are people who were born with severe physical imperfections but have thrived and lived successful lives. It’s a person that rises above the odds not just a body.

“If you see a person struggling give them a hand, don’t pull them down further”. This might just be a statement but it has the potential to change the mindset of an entire generation.

So if you have ever been body shamed for height, weight, complexion, a disability or anything it’s time to put your foot down.

To all those whose sensibilities get offended by all of our “not-perfect” bodies, there is a simple science, please look away.

There are hordes of people whose intellect frustrates me or personality I might not like, but that does not give me the right to shame them.

No ones physical appearance makes them lesser human beings, neither do they deserve to be treated unfairly.

As we step into a new year, we all resolve to be better parents, friends or life partners. I also resolve to be a more tolerant and body confident person.

Have you also encountered body shaming? Do share your views on the subject.

How to Try Something New in 2019

How to Try Something New in 2019

by with 11 Comments EmpowermentMindset

Looking at Your Patterns

I have been thinking a lot recently about the ways new routines and exploration inspire growth. See, as an INFJ, I am a creature of habit. For example, I eat the same meal for breakfast each morning (and have for a few years); I love getting to bed early (even if I’m the first one to leave a gathering); I like attending the same workout classes and going to the same grocery stores; I default to alone or quiet time versus loud, crowded, or highly-stimulating environments.

When my days consist only of these habits, I am comfortable, in a sense, but, as it turns out, I am also a bit lonely, bored, and uninspired.

This realization about my own tendencies has helped me prioritize learning new things! I have come to appreciate opportunities to try and experiment with new skills and hobbies. It is through doing new things that I become more myself. This article is an invitation for you to get curious about how trying something new can impact you and your family this year and beyond.

Learn Something New This Year

Here at the beginning of 2019, we each have an opportunity to pause and consider what we want our year ahead to be like. You might enjoy setting intentions– personally and/or as a family, and you can find my guide for this process here.

If words or phrases like play, fun, exploration, adventure, growth, change, curiosity are part of your hopes and dreams for the new year, I encourage you to consider trying something new! When it comes to learning a new skill or doing something you have never tried before, the benefits are plentiful.

When you try something new, you can…

  • Surprise yourself! Perhaps you pick up a new skill or hobby very quickly or maybe you discover a new passion. How cool it is to feel surprised by your own gifts, talents, and interests!
  • Connect with new friends and community members. New interests mean the potential for a new community! Friendships often begin through shared interests. Thus, when you step up to learning a new skill, you also give yourself an opportunity to meet new people.
  • Know yourself in a new, deeper way. The process of trying something new will help you learn more about your needs, preferences, challenges, and so on. If you go into the experience ready and willing to notice what comes up for you, it’s certain that you will learn something important about yourself.
  • Build confidence. Tackling a new skill will support you in feeling accomplished. Simply naming a goal and taking steps towards it can boost your confidence. Even perceived “failures” or mistakes can help you feel proud of yourself.
  • Increase resilience. Trying new things asks you to stretch yourself beyond what’s comfortable. When you meet challenges and face healthy struggle, you grow resilience! This will undoubtedly carry over into other parts of your life!
  • Expand your sense of self and the world. As you begin a new project or learning experience, you may find your perspective of yourself, your community, or the world expanding. This process might also bring you a sense of connection to others, your community, and the world.
  • Release an old habit or routine that isn’t serving you. As you take on new learning experiences, you may discover that some of your patterns are ready to be retired. When you dedicate yourself to a new interest, prepare to notice what you are ready to let go of, change, or alter.

Try Something New This Year

What comes to mind as you consider this phrase, “Try something new this year!”

What thoughts, feelings, and beliefs arise?

If you are facing self-doubt as you read this phrase, I invite you to notice it with compassion. Self-doubt and fear can try to swoop in as a protector; these sensations might be trying to keep you from changing because change is uncomfortable! When protectors show up, you might find a sense of calm though loving kindness practices; take the time to remind yourself (and your protectors) that growing, changing, and expanding are important aspects of your experience.

If specific ideas or visions come to mind as your read this phrase, I invite you to give them space. Write these words or images down; doodle or draw them out. Maybe you’d even like to describe these ideas aloud– to yourself or a loved one. Your sense of excitement and joy in seeing yourself take on a new interest is valid and important.

No matter what thoughts, feeling, and beliefs you are facing, you are worthy of trying something new! You deserve to experience new learning opportunities, and you are capable of challenging yourself to expand and grow. Plus, you’ll give yourself to experience the benefits listed above (and then some).

Now, how will you decide what trying something new will mean to you this year?! To help you take the first step, I created a list of 10 of my favorite ways to try something new. This list is meant to be a starting point. Please edit, add to, and curate a list that is meaningful to you and your family.

    1. Take a class or course. Study anything you’re interested in from languages, to business skills, to gardening, and so on. You can enroll for in-person classes or explore a wide range of online offerings.
    2. Find a mentor. Find leaders who you feel inspired by. No matter what goals you have, support is crucial. A teacher or a coach you see regularly can be a mentor. Likewise, a writer or influencer whose work you follow can be a mentor.
    3. Read something new. Read a new genre, set a goal for how many books you’d like to read per month/year, or commit to a new series, the Sunday newspaper, or a magazine.
    4. Create something! Express yourself creatively in a new way. Mediums to consider include painting, drawing, speech-writing, photography, writing, and knitting. How else do you like to create?!
    5. Participate in your community. Show up for your neighborhood, city, and the world. For example, you can volunteer, participate on committees, block walk for campaigns, or attend school board meetings.
    6. Find a new way to move your body. Do something that feels new and supportive to your body. Maybe you try a new dance or exercise class or morning walks.
    7. Connect with nature. Explore new ways of being in and with the natural world. Try camping, hiking, or picnicking in new spaces. How else can you bring nature into your life? Or your life into nature?
    8. Travel. Visit places near or far that you have never been. Take a day trip, a road trip, or a long-distance flight to see something you’ve never seen before. 
    9. Eat new foods. Dine at new restaurants, explore new recipes, or study cuisines you are less familiar with. Enjoy new flavors and notice the ways different foods nourish you.  
    10. Make new connections. Whatever you decide to try in 2019, know that you will have the opportunity to connect with many new people. Enjoy the process of learning about others (and yourself in the process).

I wish you all a happy reNEWing, and wonderful year ahead. This article is meant to support you, as a parent of caregiver, in growing and learning in the coming months. The bonus: each idea and tool can be shared with your children and teens. You and your family can take on new challenges together in 2019! If you are looking for support– or coaching is a new opportunity you’d like to try– I invite you to connect on a complimentary Discovery Call.

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

by with 7 Comments BooksVoicesworld changers

1. How did you come about your passion/profession?

      Blanca discovered her love of the world early on while listening to stories of exotic locals from her grandmothers. After going on to become a globe trotter herself, she settled into life in Southern California as a preschool teacher and daycare owner. She discovered her passion when she brought different cultures into her daycare in the form of multicultural foods, music, and art projects to share with the children she cared for. When she was ready to retire, she created Joy Sun Bear and teamed up with Shearin and John Lee to be able to continue sharing the world with kids. She is one of the co-authors and founder of Joy Sun Bear.
      John’s passion was always creating, either in the form of stories or art. Though his career led him through the military into the technical world of data analysis, art and fiction remained his steadfast companions. When the opportunity to join Joy Sun Bear came along, John was all in, excited to see what years of drawing and writing could become. As a passionate father and husband, John was pleased to find a chance to show his daughter that hard work and dedication can create amazing things. John is the co-author and illustrator for Joy Sun Bear.
      Shearin graduated with a degree in Public Relations from USC. Immediately after, however, she found herself in a new town with new priorities. Fast forward several years to her and John’s partnership with Blanca, and she now finds herself thrust into the world of social media management, networking, and brand development as the Creative Director for Joy Sun Bear, Inc. Though she never expected to find herself in this role, she’s found that learning the ins and outs of managing a young startup has brought more opportunity to learn and grow than she ever thought it would. In addition to building the JSB brand, Shearin’s other passion is being an involved Mom for her and John’s eight year old daughter. She loves volunteering at school and working with kids.

2. Tell us about your family.

      Blanca was born in New York, but moved back to Colombia and grew up there. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. She has two kids who are all grown up and living on their own. She lives in Southern California with her husband after living on both coasts of the US and even across the pond in London, England.
      John has lived most of his life in California, with brief stays in other states – and a year long stay in South Korea – during his time in the U.S. Army. He now lives in Southern California with Shearin and their daughter.
    Shearin grew up in Utah, moved to Maryland and then to California. Though they have both spent the vast majority of their life in the U.S., Shearin’s parents were born in Iran, and she was raised with significant Persian cultural influence. For John and Shearin, merging their lives also meant learning how to blend two different cultures together. Both have found the process of learning what culture is and how it affects their lives enlightening and inspiring.
3. What do you think are three biggest struggles of parents today?
      1. Teaching your child empathy for not only others, but for themselves as well.
      2. Teaching children to respect rules and authority while teaching them to push beyond their limitations and the boundaries placed on them by others (emotionally or legally).
      3. Explaining some of the actions of world leaders and the fallout caused in ways that inspire them to make positive changes, rather than just using bleak summaries.

4. Please tell us about your vision for the world.

      Our vision for the world is one where children can feel free to be themselves without feeling fear or judgement. We wish for children to feel empowered from a young age to make positive changes around them, and motivated to continue to do so well into adulthood. We want children, and adults, to remain aware of themselves. Finally, we imagine a world where everyone makes daily decisions with consideration for the planet that we all share, its ecology and ability to support human life. We have created a philosophy called Our Three “E” Philosophy for our brand and products that expresses the following:

5.  Do you have anything exciting for our readers?

     We sure do! Our first book, The Adventures of Joy Sun Bear: The Blue Amber of Sumatra, is a wonderful bestselling chapter book out now on Amazon.com. Packed with diverse, entertaining and charming characters, your child will be sure to get absorbed by the story as the main character, Joy, set’s out on a magical quest. His story is filled with adventure, but also teaches about friendship, compassion, respect, empathy, and responsibility. The story also introduces some important global issues (deforestation and refugees) in a kid-friendly narrative to empower and inspire kids. We also include resources in the back of the book that share different ways children can help with these global issues starting with their own community, also promoting kindness and giving back. We want children, no matter how young or small, to feel that they can make a difference in the world, starting in their own backyard.
      We’re already working on book two, but also making time for digital and in-person school visits. Our book has already been read in classrooms across the globe and our website has been used in classrooms as far away as Australia! You can follow our journey on any of our social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube), and stay up to date on Joy’s adventures!
BOOK DESCRIPTION

Can one sun bear change the world?

Joy Sun Bear spends his days running through the rain forest, eating figs and honey, and teasing his sister. But everything changes when animals escaping the destruction of another forest arrive near his home.

If adjusting to new strangers wasn’t challenging enough, sacred figs go missing and chaos erupts when rumors of a curse begin to spread. To help restore peace in the rainforest, Joy sets out on an adventure filled with illusions, danger, and a mystical stone.

Can Joy discover his inner magic, help his new friends, and accept a mission that will alter his destiny forever?

Freebies for Readers:

      *Get our ebook with colored illustrations for $.99 when you purchase the paperback. Great for holidays to get your own copy and gift the other for someone you love!

*Free Character Coloring Sheets and Reading Comprehension Crossword Puzzle for Download: http://joysunbear.com/blue-amber/

*Learn more about Sumatra with Joy:  Joy shares his travel journal about Sumatra for kids to learn about his home. This includes information about Sumatra, geography, country facts, food, culture, animals and more with a craft, recipe and coloring activity for kids: http://joysunbear.com/explore-with-joy/west-sumatra/

 

AUTHOR BIOS

Blanca Carranza: Co-Author

Blanca Carranza is a former preschool teacher and globetrotter. Born in New York to Colombian parents, she spent her early life traveling around the world and listening to her grandmothers’ stories. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. Her passion for exploring the world, combined with her study of child development, created a unique atmosphere in each of the daycares and preschools she has owned and operated.

From international music, to food, to art, she brought the world to the children she cared for. Before retiring from childcare, she was inspired to create Joy Sun Bear and his adventures so she could continue to help children be happier and learn more about the world. She has two kids of her own, both all grown up, and lives in Southern California with her husband.

John Lee: Co-Author/Illustrator

From driving tanks in the U.S. Army, to problem solving in the IT world, to writing and drawing cute and cuddly animals on magical adventures, John’s life has been fun and diverse.

Drawing and storytelling have always been important hobbies for John. Fueled by books, video games, and copious amounts of coffee, he is always excited to read, watch, or create some adventure-filled fiction.

John adores time with his wife and daughter, who provide a limitless supply of love, inspiration, and motivation. Together they live in sunny Southern California.

Shearin Lee: Creative Director
Shearin was born in the U.S.A and grew up in a multicultural environment with parents of Iranian descent. As a first-generation Iranian-American, Shearin can speak both Farsi and English and loves infusing both heritages into her family’s culture. She values giving back by helping charities raise money and volunteering at her daughter’s elementary school.

Her goal for Joy Sun Bear is to help kids feel comfortable with who they are, explore new friendships with others who are different, and help the world connect and create a sense of unity by learning about each other’s cultures.

      Visit the Website: www.joysunbear.com
Is Your Family Arguing About Getting a Pet? Read this!

Is Your Family Arguing About Getting a Pet? Read this!

by with 5 Comments ParentingVoices

Does your family have a pet or pets? We need a pet.

Everyone keeps telling me that a family needs a pet. When you have as many allergies as we do, it is very difficult to determine the best choice. With allergies to dust, fur, and cats our options for a pet, in a flat, that likes warm weather are: a reptile, a fish or a bird.

When you have mischievous small boys and a playful smaller cousin about, fish appears not to be a wise option. I shudder at the thought of broken glass and jumping fish as their pool of water spreads far across the room… Just “No!” Next!

We have a gecko, a small reptile like a lizard that visits us occasionally, when the weather is right. My children are forever searching to see if he has returned. We named him “Albie” and the occasional small gecko that pops up hereabouts, “Friend of Albie”. Again, the terrarium has me worried! Bouncing boys (and girl too but she is old enough to think and be careful most of the time) and glass do not really complement each other. – Not a good fit!

What we need is a Bird Whisperer!

Enter our children and my husband to this discussion and they all say at once “we want a bird!” Well, that is it then! Although, here begins my wariness… I grew up on a farm! However, I have never kept a bird in a cage. Even my chickens wandered about the farm by day, and we locked them in the chicken coop at night (to keep them safe from foxes).

Further discussion followed and covered singing birds like canaries and bulbuls, until my elder son pipes up, “No! I want a parrot! I want to teach it to talk!”

My husband is leaving for the markets and says, “I will see what I can find!” only to return some hours later with…. four budgerigars!  (Very curious! I still do not understand why four. Fortunately, they are little!)

“What is that?” says the first child.

“That’s not a parrot!” says the next.

“They’re not saying anything!” says the last.

I sent them to the Macquarie Primary Dictionary for a definition: Budgerigar (say: buj-uh-ree-gah) noun. A small yellow and green parakeet found in inland parts of Australia, but also kept in cages and bred in other colours. The shortened form is ‘budgie’.

Yes, I did say four budgies! I did not sign up for this willingly!! I do not know very much about budgerigars.  As an aside, they are very cute though!

Everyone is very very excited!

Maybe that is the problem… too much excitement floating in the air.

Help! This is not going to plan at all!!!

Someone tells me they are easy to look after.

✔2 teaspoons of seeds each day.

✔clean water

✔clean paper in cage

✔rice, fruit, vegetables…

✔happy budgies!

Someone says they like to have the same food we eat, extra to their seeds.

Not these cranky birds! The list of things they refuse to eat grows longer by the day, including all the things I tried to give them to keep them healthy. The “not too many sunflower seeds” they recommend against may need to be the next purchase on the list.

  • Apple
  • Carrot
  • Cucumber
  • Lettuce

Someone tells me easily trainable.

They go crazy anytime we go near the cage. Which, with three “excited to have a pet” children in the house, means many many times a day.

The children are starting to get frightened of them being frightened of the children…. *sigh*

Cleaning the cage even upsets them and I do it every day!

Someone tells me after about a week let them out to fly around the room.

Think we missed something in the instructions on this too as they flew straight into the wall. (You can imagine the totally distress that caused for all concerned!) I do not think these budgerigars had ever left a cage before!

These tiny creatures will not be flying out that tiny door until we work out some much better instructions.Definitely not in the plan!

We need some rather urgent tips on looking after budgerigars, if you please!

State the obvious! It would be very much appreciated! We are well and truly lost!

Thank you in advance!

Signed: Confused new pet owners