The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Children

When I was a kid, my mum was very good at sewing and cooking. She cooked very tasty meals and could stitch up any torn or loosened cloth in the house. Her sewing skills came very handily in those moments when a button on our uniforms or clothes came loose, say on a school morning. What about cloth fittings and adjustments? She was just a pro!

I think she got the traits from her own mum who ran a fashion house and a bakery when they were kids. In those days as kids — and even till today — if you haven’t tasted my mum’s chicken, then you’re missing out.

As kids, my siblings and I were very keen on learning especially about sewing. When I went away to a boarding school, the skill was handy as well to me whenever I got a tear or any loose threads on the seams of my uniform and other clothing. I was very good that other students trusted me with their own sewing work.

On a lighter note, if I had the business sense I have now, I’d have monetized it and made money from all those students.

We also learned to cook superb meals from our mum. Today, we are armed with so much life skills that we can survive in any circumstance.

If you have children, you should know the importance of having them acquire sewing and cooking skills. By learning sewing and cooking skills, your child is not only learning life skills that will be useful to them in the future, but it will afford you the opportunity to spend quality time with your kids.

sewing cooking children

By the time they’d be old enough to leave home, you’ll not only be proud that they are sufficiently skilled in the kitchen as well as with sewing, but you’ll be glad you established the kind of relationship with your kids that can only come from bonding with them while doing projects like this.

Without further ado, let’s get down to our topic to discover the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children.


Your children learn to be committed to their goals

When you get your children to learn sewing and cooking, you’re actually teaching them commitment. As learners, they are bound to experience some challenges. They will certainly get stuck somewhere and will feel the frustration that comes with drawbacks when something is not working as expected.

They will learn to remain focused and committed to their goals until it is achieved. This is an invaluable life-long skill that can make them successful in their careers and goals in life.

So, get down to it! Get them started with some easy sewing projects for children and along the line, introduce them to more technical and harder projects.

It can bring out the creative side of your children

We all know that a skill like cooking is all about creativity. Recipes are not written in stone. Getting your children to cook introduces them to the flexibility of the skill and can bring out their possibly redundant and untapped creative mind.

Sewing too is not left out. When you engage your children in sewing projects, you’re basically training them to be creative — and that’s a good thing for their future.

It boosts their self-confidence

We cannot count the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children without mentioning the dose of confidence it gives them. This self-confidence comes from the sense of accomplishment that they feel when they have achieved or created something. Their new ability to start something and finish it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes, it could be a new recipe that they have never used before, a meal they thought was way beyond their skill level, or even a sewing project they thought was too big for them which later turned out perfect. Whatever it is, completing such projects and doing it well can give their self-confidence a mighty boost. They will learn that they can do anything as long as they put their minds to it.

They learn service

Cooking especially inculcates in a child, a sense of service to people around them. By cooking family meals, they are actually serving the family and will through it, learn to serve others and show them love by preparing and serving them good meals.

They do not only learn to serve others but themselves too. They will learn to do things for themselves and not sit by, expecting other people to wait on them. Sewing teaches them to find a solution to their problems and actually solve them.

It enhances their motor skills.

Sewing especially can help your children develop their motor skills. By cutting out a pattern and following it to sew and create what they want, they are actually training the dexterity of their fingers and developing fine motor skills that will benefit them in the future.

Finally, the importance of sewing and cooking skills for children cannot be overemphasized. It helps them become more coordinated, patient and responsible. They will become go-getters so get your children sewing and cooking today!

 


The Importance of Sewing and Cooking Skills for Chidlren. Are you empowering them for the future ?

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

When Your Child is Reluctant to Speak Their Native Language

My son refused to speak or learn Hindi. Even though, we could see he could understand Hindi completely. How we knew was when his grandparents were visiting and he responded appropriately to their discussion solely in Hindi about when they should go back. Besides, he would vehemently respond should we ever talk about something he did not want to do. But embracing it, was a struggle!

We also made a lot of mistakes in teaching it to him. “The cries of I’m American, why do I need to learn Hindi?” ran rampant in our home. The conversations about how important it is to speak two or more languages went long and hard.

But why did this reluctance exist at all? I thought about it and related to it with my own upbringing.

My mother tongue, the language I grew up with, would ideally be English. Since I spoke it most often with my parents, friends, teachers etc. The language of my mother though is Marathi. The language spoken in my maiden home is Hindi as is the same that is spoken in my home today, other than English. My mother tried to teach me Marathi but at the time, I jumbled them all and she dropped it. Gave her an edge to talk in secret with her family members too. haha! I did learn to understand it completely but I wish today I had all the advantages to learning a native language. After all, most people around me are multilingual.

With my son, a mindset shift needed to be made.

What do do when your child refuses to learn their native language

Being Persistent

Once I realized the mistakes I had been making,  I worked on improving on them. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have. I used many practical ways to ensure that we made the effort to learn the language. The persistence would eventually pay off when all the tips were combined with the below. I never stopped the conversations about why native languages are important and the many benefits a person can have.

Working with Siblings

It was gradual, the shift in mindset. I kept working with my children constantly. With my two children I have often seen that if I need one to learn something, being persistent with one improves the other. Seeing his sister picking up the language so excitedly, sparked an interest and maybe a little competition edge too as he would see our joy at her attempts.

Friends Who Spoke Their Own Native Language

This was a wonderful happenstance. During play dates, his friends would talk about going to learn their mother languages and one even spoke to me in Marathi. That made him realize that this is something most people do. And it is fun when you can connect with your friends. Even in my book, I have used Hindi proverbs to bring home life lessons that are essential for children to grow with strong values.

Speaking It With My Own Friends

It is rude to talk in a different language in front of others, but bringing it up in reference to something while talking about life back home or how something is done in your own heritage or maybe a quote shows kids that there are things unique to your language that is interesting. Kids are always listening. 

Watching Fun Movies

Most Hindi movies are not very child friendly. I found a few that I knew would pique his interest. About warriors, sports etc that had good messages. Reading subtitles, he developed a desire to watch more content.

Simplifying The Learning

I did everything. Made up simple stories. Taught them a couple of words a day. Fun little quizzes when we were walking around. Spoke to them only in Hindi on weekends.

I essentially took the pressure off the learning. Instead of committing a time, I did it almost all day long, in various sneaky ways. The progress he shows now is overwhelming. His sister is way ahead of him now, but his desire to learn his mother tongue is heart warming.

What helps YOU in teaching your kids? Was anyone you know ever reluctant to learn their mother language? What helped them in the mental shift?

You can grab our free checklist for making sure kids speak their native language OR get my bestselling book that talks about multilingualism in detail with many practical tips to help your child.

 


How Involved Should My Child Be in My Divorce?

How Involved Should My Child Be in My Divorce?

Divorces are stressful and involve a certain amount of pain for everybody. As parents, we all want to protect our children from the negative effects of divorce.

The good news is that it is completely possible to get divorced and raise well-adjusted children. The bad news is that we are all prone to make some of our worst parenting mistakes during the upheaval that is a divorce.

Every child and every divorce is different and it’s impossible to come up with one set of solutions that will fit everybody. However, there are some principles that we can all adapt to help children come out on the other side stronger, happier, and well adjusted.

Be Aware of Maturity Level

Different children, even within the same age level, are each at differing levels of maturity. What can be plainly discussed with one child can be stressful and upsetting for another. While it is extremely important to be open and communicative with your children during a divorce, it’s also important to be aware of their maturity level. This can be hard to determine, especially when you yourself are under a lot of stress.

The best way to know how much to share with your child and what words to use to explain a difficult situation is to take them to a child therapist. Therapists that specialize in working with children will meet with you and your child to assess their maturity level, then will be able to counsel you in the best way to break bad news, as well as how to explain complicated situations.

Even if you feel you know your child better than they know themselves, even just a single consultation with a professional therapist can help you best assess the best methods of communicating a difficult situation.

Maintain Your Relationship as a Parent

Often, kids will take on the role of caretaker to a parent who they see is having a hard time. Sometimes parents unwittingly allow the roles to reverse, relying on emotional support from their children as they navigate the fallout of their divorce.

Remember that they are still children, even if they happen to be older and seem mature enough to handle it. If you don’t have an adequate support system in place, now is a good time to build one. Attend group therapy or support groups. Find grown-ups who can hold your hand during this difficult time.

It’s important to be communicative with your child and honest about the situation, and it’s okay to let them know that you’re stressed or having a hard time, but it is equally important that they don’t come into a position where they feel responsible for your wellbeing.

Don’t lie

Hiding the truth from your kids is not the same as protecting them. Children are very intuitive and much more observant than we give them credit for, often hearing conversations we didn’t mean for them to hear and figuring out more than we wanted them to know. Don’t lie to them about the reality of your circumstances.

Talk to them on their level, answer their questions honestly, and help them to confront difficult realities. This is especially important in cases where domestic violence has become an issue. Pretending that everything is fine when it clearly isn’t only creates confusion and uncertainty for your child. While you want to tailor your explanations to their maturity level, don’t lie or withhold the basic truths of the situation.

Letting them know the details of the situation in this way informs them that you yourself are aware of the problem and are taking care of it, giving them a greater sense of certainty. One of the ways you can do this is to allow the child to speak to the family attorney involved in the divorce where appropriate. While the child, depending on their age and maturity, may find the conversation boring, they will appreciate the opportunity to give some input and see the person that is handling the divorce.

Attorneys are able to maintain calm even in the most heated situations, and seeing their calm in the face of the divorce may help your child feel more confident in the success of the proceedings. Again, it is also okay to let your child know that you personally are hurt and upset, as long as it isn’t in a manner that suggests you expect them to do something to fix it.

Letting them know the truth of a situation includes letting them know that you will be there to help them and that you are taking the appropriate steps to take care of yourself as well as them.

Use Tact

No matter how you feel about your ex, that person is still one of the most important people in the world to your child. Talking badly about your ex in front of your child puts them in the unfair position of having to choose sides.

This may seem impossible in situations where abuse or cheating has taken place, but you can still communicate that your ex has done something wrong without forcing your child to choose who they love more.

Ensure that you are in a level-headed position when discussing these events with your child, and if you are unsure how to approach the situation, then it is important to discuss the issue with a child therapist.

Even if your child seems on board with complaining about all of the faults of your ex, this may be a front put on to avoid conflict with you. If your child still has a strong emotional bond with your ex, badmouthing them can cause your child to fear expressing their feelings honestly with you in case you come to associate the child with the ex or think your child doesn’t love you as much because they don’t agree with you.

Also, don’t use your child as a spy or a messenger. It’s not okay to quiz them about what is going on in your ex’s life, nor is it okay to expect them to keep secrets for you. This once again forces children to take sides and can be extremely traumatizing them, causing issues that last the rest of their lives.

how involved should my child be in my divorce? How do I talk to my child about my divorce?

It goes without saying that if you are escaping a situation where violence and abuse are an issue, a divorce is much more stressful and complicated. In these situations, it is vital that your child be taken to a child therapist, especially as the abusive spouse may have hurt your child in ways that they have yet had the courage to confess.

In other cases, use your discretion, but consider consulting with a professional when you become uncertain about how to address these difficult topics with your child. In all divorces, however, it is important that you keep your child informed of both the situation and with every important development along the way.

A divorce is very isolating for the child involved, so letting them know that you, and your ex if possible, love them as much as before and aren’t keeping any secrets from them.

What is your take on this ?

Meghan Belnap is a freelance writer who enjoys spending time with her family. She loves being in the outdoors and exploring new opportunities whenever they arise. Meghan finds happiness in researching new topics that help to expand her horizons. You can often find her buried in a good book or out looking for an adventure. You can connect with her on Facebook right here and Twitter right here.
Valentines Need Not Be a Lavish Celebration to Be Meaningful

Valentines Need Not Be a Lavish Celebration to Be Meaningful

Romance from Indian movies is way more cheesy than any Valentines celebration can ever be. But Valentines day is very much a western/commercial influence in most multicultural homes. What can this celebration of love actually teach children, you ask?

Love for me has always been simple. Our first Valentine’s Day together was the most incredible! He surprised me with dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant. Then we headed out for what would turn out to be one of my favorite movies “Definitely, Maybe.” And then we drove around town talking the night away. It never got fancier than this but it was always special.

I have always known romance is kind of overrated. Love is much more than candy, long walks, lavish surprises and candlelit dinners.

So, why celebrate Valentines at all ?! Do we really need to show our children that you have to celebrate on this ONE day?

No, we really don’t. We should show our love every single day. But let’s face it. In our every day hustle of getting through the routines, classes, homework and our own agendas taking this one MORE day to show our love is not too bad either!

If we don’t fall into the materialistic trap, what is Valentine’s Day but another excuse to spend time with those we care the most about. And we can never have enough of those right?

Love that celebrates the tantrums, growing pains, and sick days when cooking was forgotten and messy house and hair ruled! What we are doing is marking this day with more memories of ttime together that make us laugh and our eyes well up with tears.

This love is more pure than any other. It takes hard work. Every. Single. Day!

In my book, I talk about how important it is for children to see that love is so much more about respect and nurturing. And I wish my kids can see that kind of love, in the people they eventually look towards for support through a lifetime of struggles and triumphs. How will they learn unless we as parents show them that it matters.

So our valentines are made memorable by rejoicing in our little family  –

Handmade Keepsakes

Fancy gifts have been replaced by keepsakes. Handprints. Footprints. You name it, we have it. Pinterest is full of simple crafts to do with your little ones no matter how old they are.

Simple heart cut out of papers, with loving messages written on them is a great way too. You could also choose to

Make adorable Monster Pom poms
Easy Valentines Pop Up Cards

This year I’m gifting both the kids books I got from the local library sale as they both enjoy reading. Also, I did the thing where I posted a note of what I love about them on their door. We are going to read them all on V-day. It is paramount kids learn early that gifts/acts of care are not about BIG gifts.

Really See Ourselves

To love another, we need to know ourselves better. For if we can love ourselves with all our imperfections, we can surely love those around us more fully.

And who better to give you a real perspective that the little ones who have no filter. Every year I ask my kids questions. I record their answers in a journal or a fancy card that later goes into the journal. Their answers are super cute and so heartwarming to go back to and read. It’s fascinating to see the world as they see it.

  • What does dad like to do?
  • Who do you love more?
  • What’s your favorite food?
  • What is your sister’s favorite thing to do?
  • Who do you think mom loves?
  • What do you love to do?

As the kids get older, I can make the questions help me see myself in a better light. It helps the kids learn how to self evaluate as well.

A Themed Dinner

Restaurants used to be a hassle. So, every year our meal is home cooked and made fancy for us. Something to a theme, that we can cook together. We have been doing a lot of baking: brownies, cakes, cupcakes.  Decorating together. Cooking together. Setting the table as a family, are all fun things to do. The kids do whatever they can. We have a blast creating memories while learning kitchen skills.

Decorating the Home

I always do a little something to make the home feel a bit more festive. My son is older now, and my daughter has a lot of opinions. So what do we do? We head to the dollar store and brainstorm a few items appropriate for Valentine’s Day. Then we go home and decorate together. Nothing too lavish ever mind you, but I personally enjoy shopping with my little ones. Getting inventive with little is certainly a must have talent.

Spending Time With Our Village

Valentine’s Day is a super special time to enjoy those we truly care about. Being with friends only shows our little ones how important it is to nurture relationships. And nothing is better than having a party to enhance the occasion. You could just have a potluck with no major frills. If we do have a party, we do a photo booth with props or a small budget meaningful card/gift exchange that goes with the event. It’s a wonderful way to value relationships. That love is about celebrating every bond!

Games, so Many Games

We make it a super special night with games. I love playing games with the kiddos. The laughter, hugs, and memories we create as we cheat, lie, and run around are truly priceless. You never feel as young as when you play with little ones and relearn the lessons of life with them. If you like, you can grab our free ebook for games, that can actually be played with anyone in the family.

Beats to Your Feet

We make sure to spend a part of the evening dancing our hearts out. It is so therapeutic. and the kids love getting their wiggles out. When we put on some slow songs, the kids get into the fun and slow dance with mom and dad too. Seeing moms and dads enjoying so with the kids, shows how important activity is to mark the occasion. Equality in genders and how to treat someone you care about is something that comes across in the small things.

 

Talk About the Four Pillars of Love

Kindness, Actions, Appreciation & Respect

Our celebrations may be a few of these things, or all of these, but sometime during the festivities, we make sure to discuss the four pillars on which all love stands. We converse about what are the different ways we can be kind and show our appreciation for someone. We discuss about the importance of respect and how we can care for our family members and friends. This conversation for sure lasts all year long.

Wishing you all a wonderful Valentine’s Day as you shower your endearment on those who matter the most.

Share below how your celebrate this special day. Send us pictures/crafts to contact@localhost and we will give you a shout out all across our social media.

Sharing is Caring. Tell your friends about these wonderfully simple ways to celebrate this day.

Valentines Day Simple and Meaningful

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Multi Award-winning Parenting Book – Strong Roots Have No Fear

Childhood is a country in itself. And the same rules of immigration apply. One needs to observe their culture, learn their language and imbibe traits from them to help build a sense of community. With the belief that if we raise children with a strong value system, we need not fear for their future,  I bring to you Strong Roots Have No Fear.

I am a global citizen, raised shuttling between countries and now parenting children who are American by birth. An Indian writing about challenges every parent faces in our ever evolving world. A Third Culture Kid, I understand first hand what it means to be raised on the borders of multiple countries and cultures.

In this book I have given simple strategies I’ve learned from observing mothers around the world and my own childhood to help raise kids who are confident and have a global mindset early.

This small book made BIG waves around the world by being named TOP 10 among thousands of entries at the Author Academy awards.

Chapters in the book include –

Being an Empowered Parent
Channel Big Emotions
Imbibe Multilingualism
Motivate Self Reliance
Cultivate Talent Within
Balance Technology
Impart Self Moderation
Instill Gender Equality
Counter Bullying
Prepare for Tragedies/Predators
Infuse Your Heritage
Celebrate Diversity
Ingrain Racial Equality
Mantras for Travel
and more …

In short this book includes simple, easy to implement ways in which you can use your child’s strengths to intuitively, be mindful about –

** Raising Confident Children
** Building a Global Mindset

An easy read, this book uses the Author’s experiences as a multicultural child herself and parenting journey to empower multicultural families like her own to raise awareness about important values every child needs to grow strong.

PRESS FOR THE BOOK

Bicultural Mama – Celebrating Best of Two Worlds

Momspresso – India’s Best Parenting Portal

Fantastic Feathers – Book Review & Travelogue Blog

Simply T Nicole – Motivational Speaker

MomTinCulture – Parenting Blogger & Author (Because I Promised )

My Baby, My Books & I – Book Review Blog 

Amazon Reviews (40+)

ABOUT THE BOOK – Strong Roots to Live an Empowered Life

I want for my children is to be safe. And strong. With good behavior and decision making skills to boot, with a lot of kindness sprinkled on. To be rooted in their values, no matter what storms blow across their life. Strong Roots Have No Fear – talks about raising children with a confident and global mindset.

I can only assume you are nodding your heads in unison. Yes, we want our children to excel academically but more than that, we want them to win at life. Not in the getting a trophy kind of way but a, able to find the silver lining in every situation or being a culturally aware kind of way.

Do you worry about your child’s future?

Of course you do. You are a parent. That means fears are a part of your life every single day. Wondering how you will teach your kids to navigate this elaborate maze called life.

I often hear comments of trepidation, “Oh! Wait till they hit their teen years.” or “Some day they are going to forget everything about our culture. ” or “This generation is so spoiled.” etc. and I wonder why are parents doubt the values they are providing their children?  Sure, the kids will have a phase of rebellion and self discovery but that does not mean they will never find their way back. There is no guarantee for tomorrow but to be so negative in your own mindset hampers your child’s vision of themselves.

Having high expectations of our children may hamper their growth but knowing we believe in them will help them stand strong no matter the struggle. And life is so full of struggles, right? While we cannot control our kids future, we as parents sure can create a solid foundation for our children to grow into. Giving them their history to anchor them, their present to grow into and their future to look towards with joy.

When I was young, my mom constantly talked to me about being good, manners, being strong in my choices and a LOT of that had a big effect on many decisions I made later in life. Decisions that were life altering. The lessons my parents taught me and a lot they didn’t, form the crux of all that I have achieved in my life. All the decisions that taken timely saved me in my darkest moments.

That is partly why I started writing about the many challenges parents face in balancing current cultures and their own heritage.  To have one space where parents can go for easy answers or relatable content. That mission grew into what you are reading today, a magazine for parents by parents because we all can after all learn from each other.

Empowering Children to Thrive in a Multicultural World with Intuitive Parenting

Strong Roots Have No Fear

Over the course of the past 8 years, I have come across few simple strategies that negate all the current mumbo jumbo surrounding parenting. All we need to do is trust our instinct and make sure the kids grow rooted within prepared for the many challenges an ever evolving multicultural world will provide.  So how do you give your children strong roots?

  • By providing them sound start in their early years.
  • Teaching kids to stand tall in face of life’s milestones.
  • Imparting the vision to make good choices.
  • A global mindset that helps build awareness within.

To that end, I bring to you the very first book that talks in a most straight forward language about all the above in great detail with tips of everything below. Parenting our children with a strong, culturally aware mindset enables us to be optimistic about their future thus removing a lot of the fear associated with an unknown tomorrow.

In the book you will find

  • The confidence to be intuitive as a parent.
  • Introspection towards mindful living.
  • Timeless strategies to impart a positive mindset.
  • A global approach to nurturing your multicultural family.
  • How to be culturally sensitive and rooted within self.

While the book is aimed at parents raising kids aged 0-10, most of the timeless life lessons in it are applicable to any age really After all, most of us can use reminders of what to do with bullies, how to deal with self doubt, increasing self empowerment, being aware about the world with an open mind etc.

Most importantly, it is not a “one size fits all” solution. It is a – “here is the fabric and ideas, get creative with your own dress” solution to parenting everywhere.

You can find out what people around the world are saying about my writing here. Signing up gives you tons of freebies and also keeps you in the loop as to the progress of the book. 

You can find ALL my work in one place here or get a taste of what the book includes HERE.

I’m passing on all that I have implemented and learned over the past years, so you do not have to ask anyone the question, “What tips would you give me to make sure my kids grow strongly rooted in values, right from the beginning?” .

Don’t forget to share this post with your friends. If you would like to support the growth of this book, you are welcome to join the Strong Roots Book Support Group here.

Don’t Forget to Tell Your Friends or Pin This Post for keepsake. After all sharing is caring!

strong roots have no fear


Raising Confident Kids with a Global Mindset - Strong Roots Have No Fear

20 Ways to Inspire Kids by Showing Up as an Everyday Activist

20 Ways to Inspire Kids by Showing Up as an Everyday Activist

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. Martin Luther King, Jr.

What is Activism?

What comes to mind when you hear the term activist? Who or what are you picturing?
In conversations with friends, family members, and clients, I’ve noticed that many folks think that activism is only for people who are doing justice work full time. They associate the term activist with people who are leading protests or lobbying at the state Capitol building every day.
However, I’d like to remind you that every decision you make holds political weight. The personal is political.
That said, activism is work that all of us can engage in.
We all have the tools to stand up for our values and beliefs each and every day. The tools are completely free and are already at your fingertips. No degree or training or materials are necessary.
This is my working definition of activism: Using my resources, including my voice, physical presence, money, energy, and time, to honor and support people, institutions, and policies that align with my values and highest vision for our world.
For example, some of the ways I practice activism on a regular basis include recycling, donating to local organizations that I am inspired by, and taking my own reusable bags to the grocery store.
So, I will ask you to again consider: What comes to mind when you hear the term activist? Who or what are you picturing?
Is there anything different from your first thoughts, feelings, or beliefs? How so?

10 Ways to Show Up as an Everyday Activist

In developing a broad and inclusive definition of activism, one that invites each one of us into mindful living, I have come up with a list of 20 ways to practice everyday activism with your family.
I invite you to print and browse the list below and notice which items you are already doing; circle those numbers. Place a star next to the items that make you feel excited, motivated, intrigued, or curious. Additionally, notice which items you feel most resistant towards; put a dot next to these.
1. Spend time in your community. Get out and about in your neighborhood and city. Just being with diverse groups in the community will support your awareness and growth, and you’ll make meaningful connections.
2. Commit to one small act a day/week that connects to your passions, interests, and values. For example, if you are concerned about environmental issues, you can work on the community garden in your neighborhood. If you are interested in narrowing the class divide, serve at a shelter or food bank.
3. Vote. At every election. Did you know that school boards make a ton of decisions that impact your city at large? Yes, every election and every position matters.
4. Volunteer. Find local organizations to support through your time and energy.
5. Read and research about the topics and issues you are called to AND the ones that feel at the edge of your comfort zone. Read more; explore a range of sources and mediums. Know that you don’t always have to have an answer because questions and curiosity are powerful. Most importantly, stay open to learning more, not only about the “issues” on the table but about yourself as well.
6. Find creative outlets for your processing and expression. As you read and research and talk, things can get heavy and emotional. Having outlets for these feelings is important. I, personally, turn to writing most often. Art and music are other wonderful ways to express the depths of your experience.
7. Share your own stories and experiences as it feels right. When you have a story or experience that speaks to your values and positions, include that in your conversations as you are comfortable and as it feels relevant. Remember that you can engage in conversations virtually and in real life (IRL).
8. Talk with friends and family about the issues you are curious about. Sweeping politics under the rug just doesn’t work, and, furthermore, it’s a symptom of privilege. The call to action here is to be authentic in naming your values and concerns and engaging your loved ones on these topics.
9. Support products, services, and companies that DO align with your values. Spend your money supporting people and institutions that you agree with. Local is always a great place to start if this feels obscure or overwhelming.
10. Boycott products, services, and companies whose values DON’T align with yours.  Simply don’t buy from companies that don’t align with your values. Look into big brands, whether they make food, cleaning products, cosmetics, or clothing, and learn about how ethical (or not) they are.
11. Write letters, send faxes, or call local and federal politicians. Follow the legislation that is being proposed in your state and at the federal level. When you find a law that you align with, write or call in your support. Likewise, when you find a law that you see as harmful, write or call in your dissent. Find out who represents you here!
12. Use online petitions and bots to send letters and opinions. Show support for issues you care about by signing on to (or starting!) petitions; explore change.org to get started signing today. You can also easily write letters to your politicians through bots like resist.bot.
13. Share and retweet content on social media. The internet has allowed us to share issues and solutions in a matter of seconds. Hashtags have helped people gather both virtually and IRL, and one way that you can show support for movements, news, and leaders is by sharing or retweeting. #BlackLivesMatter helped us realize the power of the internet in creating a movement and inspiring professional and “everyday” activists to gather together.
14. Journal. Explore your own biases and gaps in knowledge and experience. When you have questions and curiosities, go to the page. Ask yourself to think through the questions. Maybe, like me, you’ll end up with more questions, and this, too, is growth.
15. Incorporate donation into regular events you host or attend. Ask friends to bring canned food or feminine hygiene products to events. Then, donate the collection to local organizations. Typically, most people will have these items on hand already so this is a great way to engage your community in activism.
16. Host or participate in book clubs or conversation groups that are focused on current events and issues. You can find established book clubs via MeetUp.com or branch out on your own to gather a group of folks who are interested in reading and being curious together. I have facilitated a feminist book club and a Decentering Whiteness community in Austin, Texas, for example.
17. Find mentors and guides. Lots of them. Notice which leaders you are feeling called to. Which ones challenge you and offer you opportunities for growth? Again, explore different mediums— podcasts, books, Instagram influencers, and so on.
18. Enroll in trainings to learn more about issues you care about and/or to hone your activism skills. Seek out trainings (again, online or IRL) to support you in your journey. Check with your employer to see if they are willing to sponsor your learning opportunities!
19. Financially support activists, educators, politicians who are working for change. Give money to folks on the front lines, people who are dedicating their lives to this work. You can do this through organizations, Patreon, or Venmo, for example. Many activists are sharing their Venmo accounts and taking compensation in this way.
20. Practice self-care. In order to show up fully for this work, you’ll need to be refueled and recharged. Maintain practices that allow you to rest and relax!

Practicing Activism as a Family

Activism is not adult work, it’s human work. Each item on this list is available to the children and teens in your life. Making activism a part of everyday family life will support tremendous growth, from self-awareness to connection with others to participation in community. This is what Connected Hearts is all about.
As you begin this work, you may find yourself and your family ready to engage in meaningful, yet difficult, conversations. This guide will support your family as you engage in these tough chats.
Here’s to living with open hearts and minds as we work together as human activists! See you out there!
Are Lohri, Makarsankranti and Pongal the same Indian Festival?

Are Lohri, Makarsankranti and Pongal the same Indian Festival?

It is the time the days are on the coldest and when first harvest of the year is done in most of the parts of India where the food grains are worshiped in different ways. Are the festivals of Lohri, Makarsankranti and Pongal basically the same? Celebrated on the January 13th and 14th respectively and for the same reason, different states of India celebrate these auspicious day in different ways. Rejoicing in the fruits of harvest.

How can you tell who is celebrating which one? Make sure to save this so you can reference back to it later.

Well, firstly different people call it by different names.

Lohri in Punjab

Celebrated by Punjabi Indians on the 13th of January, this day is marked by a bon fire, colorful clothes music and dancing. Popcorn, sesame, chikki are enjoyed.

You can find out more about this festival by reading the complete celebration here.

Makar Sankranthi 

Makar Sankranti is celebrated on 14 January every year.This particular festival is celebrated by many more states, in different ways. This day is marked differently by the element of traditional prayers and kite flying.

Delhi and Haryana – Churma of ghee, halwa and kheer are cooked specially on this day. One brother of every married woman visits her home with a gift of some warm clothing for her and her husband’s family. It is called “Sidha”. Women used to give a gift to their in-laws, and this rituals called “Manana”. The recipient will sit in a haweli (main palace where men sit together and share hookka). Women go to haweli to sing folk songs and give gifts.

Rajasthan and West Madhya Pradesh

“Makar Sankrati” or “Sankrat” in the Rajasthani language is one of the major festivals in the state of Rajasthan. The day is celebrated with special Rajasthani delicacies and sweets such as pheeni (either with sweet milk or sugar syrup dipped), til-paati, gajak, kheer, ghevar, pakodi, puwa, and til-laddoo.

Specially, the women of this region wear black as it absorbs heat the most and observe a ritual in which they give any type of object (related to household, make-up or food) to 13 married women. The first Sankranti experienced by a married woman is of significance as she is invited by her parents and brothers to their houses with her husband for a big feast. People invite friends and relatives (specially their sisters and daughters) to their home for special festival meals (called as “Sankrant Bhoj”). People give out many kind of small gifts such as til-gud (jaggery), fruits, dry khichadi, etc. to Brahmins or the needy ones.

Kite flying is traditionally observed as a part of this festival.On this occasion the sky in Jaipur and Hadoti regions is filled with kites, and youngsters engage in contests trying to cut each other’s strings.

Pongal

Celebrated in Tamil Nadu, this is a grand festival of four days. Day 1 marks Bhogi Pandigai, Day 2 is Thai Pongal, Day 3 Maattu Pongal and Kaanum Pongal is celebrated on day 4. The festival is celebrated four days from the last day of the Tamil month Maargazhi to the third day of the Tamil month Thai.

Here is a detailed description of the four days of celebration.

KHICHERI

Uttar Pradesh, Bihar and Jharkhand

This same festival is known as Kicheri in Uttar Pradesh and involves ritual bathing. There is a compulsion to bathe in the morning while fasting; first they bathe then they eat sweets such as til ladoo and gud laddo (known as tillava in Bhojpuri). At some places new clothes are worn on this day. It is said that if you do not bath on this day, you will fall upon bad luck the rest of the year. Khichi is prepared.  Kite flying  and (sesame seeds) and gud (jaggery) are found in the songs sung on this day.

West Bengal

In West Bengal, Sankranti, also known Poush Parbon (It falls on 14 January on the Western calendar.) All sections of society participate in a three-day begins on the day before Sankranti and ends on the day after. The freshly harvested paddy and the date palm syrup in the form of Khejurer Gur and Patali is used in the preparation of a variety of traditional Bengali sweets made with rice flour, coconut, milk and ‘khejurer gur’ (date palm jaggery) and known as ‘Pitha’ . The Goddess Lakshmi is usually worshipped on the day of Sankranti.

So you see, even though celebrated for the reason, the colorful states of India each celebrate this day in numerous different ways and on different days. Observing the celebrations is a great indicator of the heritage of a person and what part of India they belong to.

Did you know this about these festivals? Do you know any more differences? Feel free to share the same below

 

The Accepted Culture Of "Body Shaming"

The Accepted Culture Of “Body Shaming”

I will begin by saying, I was very apprehensive talking about this topic “Body Shaming”.

We are a multicultural platform. Often we talk about how various issues are dealt across different cultures. I for one is always on the lookout for things that might be similar across all cultures. One that tops the charts is “body shaming”, so despite my hesitation here I am.

The “culture of body shaming” is one concept that is consistent across all “cultures”.

No disparity, trust me.

If you have a physical drawback in one culture then you have it across all the cultures and you will be duly reminded of it. This begins from the day you are born.

So were you a cute as a baby or not so much? See what i mean?

DO YOUR PARTICIPATE IN BODY SHAMING

It comes in so many forms and is mostly termed harmless, even wrapped as “constructive” criticism.

If any conversation or comment about your physical appearance belittles you, makes you question your worth or as a result of which you gradually lose confidence in yourself then it is “body shaming”.

This is a very difficult and somewhat sensitive subject, all the same talking about “body shaming” is tantamount for a healthy childhood. Surprisingly it affects kids and at very young age too.

A flippant remark about someones physical appearance can change the way kids look at people. The worth of a person gets associated with how they look and a tiny seed of body shaming is sown.

Granted we cannot watch what we say all the time but being a bit more careful before judging someone solely on their physical appearance can go a long way.

How can we deal with body shaming? Here are a few things I feel might help.

PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN A BODY

One morning in 1994 thousands of teenage girls across India waited with bated breath in front of their television screens as Sushmita Sen was crowned “Miss Universe”.

These pageants are supposed to be all about physical beauty but it also signified something dramatic, something more significant.

That moment is etched on so many minds as a declaration to the world “we girls of India have arrived, we can touch the sky”. For many teen eyes it was about what a girl can be and achieve in new day India.

Sadly, overtime it became all about physical beauty and even Sushmita Sen was not above body shaming.

The Miss Universe straightened her crown and proved to the world she is more than a beautiful body. An epitome of inner strenghth. A person who owns her decisions and grows with them.

Every strong person who can forge their own path and gets back up after each fall is a beautiful person. Beauty is as beauty does.

ENDORSE SELF LOVE

It’s so easy to count your physical flaws everyday for recreational purposes. But when your 6 year old tells you they don’t like their face it hits you hard.

It won’t matter how many times you tell them they are perfect as they are. It has to start with you.

Children imitate what they see including body shaming.

To endorse self love in our kids we need to endorse it ourselves. Love that not so perfect nose, flabby tummy, the skin that could have behaved better at ageing. Everything.

We need to learn “If i love my body no one has the right to tell me otherwise”.

Be warned Self love is very difficult. I have had near strangers remind me to be unhappy because of my body and how it looks “ugly”.

Their duty done, all in the name of promoting a healthy life, sprinkled with the holy knowledge that guarantees longevity. Only forgetting to mention “Also be very careful while crossing any roads, use zebra crossings, and you will live to eternity”.

Though only what is does is, add one more miserable person to the bandwagon of self haters with a few million more to go.

Your body has only you to love it, improve it if possible but do not hate it. There are enough people doing it for you.

PROMOTE A BETTER OUTLOOK

My children need to learn that no persons body gives them the right to shame it. Nor does anybody has the right to do the same to them.

I highly commend those people who change their bodies for the better. What if some one is incapable of doing so? Don’t they deserve a happy judgement free existence?

As it is the world has too many broken people, no one needs to add to it.

There are people who were born with severe physical imperfections but have thrived and lived successful lives. It’s a person that rises above the odds not just a body.

“If you see a person struggling give them a hand, don’t pull them down further”. This might just be a statement but it has the potential to change the mindset of an entire generation.

So if you have ever been body shamed for height, weight, complexion, a disability or anything it’s time to put your foot down.

To all those whose sensibilities get offended by all of our “not-perfect” bodies, there is a simple science, please look away.

There are hordes of people whose intellect frustrates me or personality I might not like, but that does not give me the right to shame them.

No ones physical appearance makes them lesser human beings, neither do they deserve to be treated unfairly.

As we step into a new year, we all resolve to be better parents, friends or life partners. I also resolve to be a more tolerant and body confident person.

Have you also encountered body shaming? Do share your views on the subject.

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

Empower and Encourage Through Stories of Friendship

1. How did you come about your passion/profession?

      Blanca discovered her love of the world early on while listening to stories of exotic locals from her grandmothers. After going on to become a globe trotter herself, she settled into life in Southern California as a preschool teacher and daycare owner. She discovered her passion when she brought different cultures into her daycare in the form of multicultural foods, music, and art projects to share with the children she cared for. When she was ready to retire, she created Joy Sun Bear and teamed up with Shearin and John Lee to be able to continue sharing the world with kids. She is one of the co-authors and founder of Joy Sun Bear.
      John’s passion was always creating, either in the form of stories or art. Though his career led him through the military into the technical world of data analysis, art and fiction remained his steadfast companions. When the opportunity to join Joy Sun Bear came along, John was all in, excited to see what years of drawing and writing could become. As a passionate father and husband, John was pleased to find a chance to show his daughter that hard work and dedication can create amazing things. John is the co-author and illustrator for Joy Sun Bear.
      Shearin graduated with a degree in Public Relations from USC. Immediately after, however, she found herself in a new town with new priorities. Fast forward several years to her and John’s partnership with Blanca, and she now finds herself thrust into the world of social media management, networking, and brand development as the Creative Director for Joy Sun Bear, Inc. Though she never expected to find herself in this role, she’s found that learning the ins and outs of managing a young startup has brought more opportunity to learn and grow than she ever thought it would. In addition to building the JSB brand, Shearin’s other passion is being an involved Mom for her and John’s eight year old daughter. She loves volunteering at school and working with kids.

2. Tell us about your family.

      Blanca was born in New York, but moved back to Colombia and grew up there. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. She has two kids who are all grown up and living on their own. She lives in Southern California with her husband after living on both coasts of the US and even across the pond in London, England.
      John has lived most of his life in California, with brief stays in other states – and a year long stay in South Korea – during his time in the U.S. Army. He now lives in Southern California with Shearin and their daughter.
    Shearin grew up in Utah, moved to Maryland and then to California. Though they have both spent the vast majority of their life in the U.S., Shearin’s parents were born in Iran, and she was raised with significant Persian cultural influence. For John and Shearin, merging their lives also meant learning how to blend two different cultures together. Both have found the process of learning what culture is and how it affects their lives enlightening and inspiring.
3. What do you think are three biggest struggles of parents today?
      1. Teaching your child empathy for not only others, but for themselves as well.
      2. Teaching children to respect rules and authority while teaching them to push beyond their limitations and the boundaries placed on them by others (emotionally or legally).
      3. Explaining some of the actions of world leaders and the fallout caused in ways that inspire them to make positive changes, rather than just using bleak summaries.

4. Please tell us about your vision for the world.

      Our vision for the world is one where children can feel free to be themselves without feeling fear or judgement. We wish for children to feel empowered from a young age to make positive changes around them, and motivated to continue to do so well into adulthood. We want children, and adults, to remain aware of themselves. Finally, we imagine a world where everyone makes daily decisions with consideration for the planet that we all share, its ecology and ability to support human life. We have created a philosophy called Our Three “E” Philosophy for our brand and products that expresses the following:

5.  Do you have anything exciting for our readers?

     We sure do! Our first book, The Adventures of Joy Sun Bear: The Blue Amber of Sumatra, is a wonderful bestselling chapter book out now on Amazon.com. Packed with diverse, entertaining and charming characters, your child will be sure to get absorbed by the story as the main character, Joy, set’s out on a magical quest. His story is filled with adventure, but also teaches about friendship, compassion, respect, empathy, and responsibility. The story also introduces some important global issues (deforestation and refugees) in a kid-friendly narrative to empower and inspire kids. We also include resources in the back of the book that share different ways children can help with these global issues starting with their own community, also promoting kindness and giving back. We want children, no matter how young or small, to feel that they can make a difference in the world, starting in their own backyard.
      We’re already working on book two, but also making time for digital and in-person school visits. Our book has already been read in classrooms across the globe and our website has been used in classrooms as far away as Australia! You can follow our journey on any of our social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube), and stay up to date on Joy’s adventures!
BOOK DESCRIPTION

Can one sun bear change the world?

Joy Sun Bear spends his days running through the rain forest, eating figs and honey, and teasing his sister. But everything changes when animals escaping the destruction of another forest arrive near his home.

If adjusting to new strangers wasn’t challenging enough, sacred figs go missing and chaos erupts when rumors of a curse begin to spread. To help restore peace in the rainforest, Joy sets out on an adventure filled with illusions, danger, and a mystical stone.

Can Joy discover his inner magic, help his new friends, and accept a mission that will alter his destiny forever?

Freebies for Readers:

      *Get our ebook with colored illustrations for $.99 when you purchase the paperback. Great for holidays to get your own copy and gift the other for someone you love!

*Free Character Coloring Sheets and Reading Comprehension Crossword Puzzle for Download: http://joysunbear.com/blue-amber/

*Learn more about Sumatra with Joy:  Joy shares his travel journal about Sumatra for kids to learn about his home. This includes information about Sumatra, geography, country facts, food, culture, animals and more with a craft, recipe and coloring activity for kids: http://joysunbear.com/explore-with-joy/west-sumatra/

 

AUTHOR BIOS

Blanca Carranza: Co-Author

Blanca Carranza is a former preschool teacher and globetrotter. Born in New York to Colombian parents, she spent her early life traveling around the world and listening to her grandmothers’ stories. She has visited fifteen countries across four continents. Her passion for exploring the world, combined with her study of child development, created a unique atmosphere in each of the daycares and preschools she has owned and operated.

From international music, to food, to art, she brought the world to the children she cared for. Before retiring from childcare, she was inspired to create Joy Sun Bear and his adventures so she could continue to help children be happier and learn more about the world. She has two kids of her own, both all grown up, and lives in Southern California with her husband.

John Lee: Co-Author/Illustrator

From driving tanks in the U.S. Army, to problem solving in the IT world, to writing and drawing cute and cuddly animals on magical adventures, John’s life has been fun and diverse.

Drawing and storytelling have always been important hobbies for John. Fueled by books, video games, and copious amounts of coffee, he is always excited to read, watch, or create some adventure-filled fiction.

John adores time with his wife and daughter, who provide a limitless supply of love, inspiration, and motivation. Together they live in sunny Southern California.

Shearin Lee: Creative Director
Shearin was born in the U.S.A and grew up in a multicultural environment with parents of Iranian descent. As a first-generation Iranian-American, Shearin can speak both Farsi and English and loves infusing both heritages into her family’s culture. She values giving back by helping charities raise money and volunteering at her daughter’s elementary school.

Her goal for Joy Sun Bear is to help kids feel comfortable with who they are, explore new friendships with others who are different, and help the world connect and create a sense of unity by learning about each other’s cultures.

      Visit the Website: www.joysunbear.com
Your Parenting Style Defines Your Child - Identify it Now!

Your Parenting Style Defines Your Child – Identify it Now!

Healthily raising children is an essential factor.  Every single parent faces various difficulties and using  parenting styles to raise their child. With the help of parenting styles, parents set rules for children and expect to conform their children to follow them.  There are four types of parenting styles such as authoritative parenting, neglectful parenting, permissive parenting, and authorization parenting style. Sometimes, parents are not aware form their parenting style which parenting style they are using.   With the variety of parenting styles impact the children differently.

Identify Your Parenting Style

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is one of the best styles of parents and provides open communication style for children.  This parenting style is the most effective and beneficial parenting style for healthy children. This type of parenting creates a healthy environment around the children and supports their children at any situation. Authoritative parenting is easily recognized from their high expectation from their children and a deep understanding of children expectation. With authoritative parents, quickly make a healthy home without any conflicts and communication gap between children and parents.   There are some points to how to recognize Authoritative parenting style such as:

  •   If you have your child day structure such as planned for bedtime and understood household rules.
  •   If you know, the child expectation from their behavior and these expectations are reasonable.
  •   If you have a healthy and open communication line with your child.  In case, you child say anything with you without any fear and shyness.
  •   If your children easily share their experience with you without any negative thought and concern.

Neglectful Parenting:

This type of parenting style is the most severe parenting style.  Neglectful parents are responsible for their childish behavior and rarely fluctuate naturally.  If you can recognize yourself in neglectful parenting, then you need to improve relationships with children and backtrack on healthy and happy family relationship.

Some points can recognize neglectful parenting style such as:

  •    Do you care about your children such as emotional, physical and others?
  •    Do you can better understand what’s going on in your children life?
  •    Do you can provide safe space for a child and share with their experience and want to positive feedback as compare to negative or no feedback.
  •     Do you spend a long time away from home and leave a child alone at home.
  •     Often, can you find out some excuse for not being here for a child?
  •     Do you know about your childhood friends and teachers?

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is also called indulgent parenting. The parenting type is another potentially harmful style of parenting.  The permissive parenting type of parents is responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient whereas trying to avoid confrontation.   The best benefit of this type of parents is very nurturing and loving. The permissive parents set few rules for their children and regulations are inconsistent. There are few points to how to recognize permissive parents such as:

  •   If you are no established rules and limits on your children, then you can easily compromise with your standards for your children mood.
  •    If you avoid your children conflicts.
  •     You have willingness to your children best friend rather than their parents.
  •     This type of parenting style gives freedom without any consequence.

Authorization Parenting:

Authorization parents are also called strict parents.  The authorization parenting parents who are demanding but not responsive.   Authorization parents allow for open to a conversation between child and parent.   And always expect from children to follow a set of rules and expectations. This type of parents usually relies on punishment to demand obedience and teach a lesson for children. There are some points to recognizing your authorization parent’s styles such as:

  •   Do you have strict rules for children and you believe be followed by children in any situation?
  •    Do you often find yourself not explain the states other than children wants to teach?
  •    In case, you can give a few choice and decisions to your child about their own life.
  •    If you are reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing and show your child.
  •    If you find out yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?

The structure and rules of authorization parents are the best way for the healthy development of children.  With the authorization, parenting builds a better relationship between child and parents and open communication with children.   The children of authorization parents are prone to low self-esteem, fearful or shy, the obedience of love and possible to do misbehave when outside the parent care.   Every single parent wants to make a better and healthy relationship with the child and understand their expectation and requirements.

On the internet, there are various online scheduling apps free which offer the best way to set an appointment and reminders. With the use of appointment scheduling, people easily save their time and other expenses. This helps ease some of the stress of parenting.

 

He is the content developer and freelance writer. He writes a lot of article on his carrier. Last one year he is working with Appointment Care as a content developer and a writer. He has a expertise on writing an article on various types of online tutorial. He also wants to promote such kind of work to develop the skill.

 

 

 

The "Gift" of Being Special

The “Gift” of Being Special

Oh! Why you?
You can’t do this..
Dear, you are not the one for the task
Please, leave ,you are not the gifted one !!

Gifted one!!
I mean
Who can judge
Whether you are gifted or not??

It’s just the perceptional thought to push the person back to his den..
Taking shelter of the ‘gifted’ word
Some people take their lethargy to a superior position.
And some people gets a chance to pull you down.

Really ! It happens !!
Contrarily, your hard-work can make you ‘gifted’
May be you might become the ‘gifted one’
That you had desired all through your lives…

Running away from labor,
Becoming a staunch believer
Of so called ‘destiny’
Never really helps!!

What helps in every situation
Is just the belief–
Things don’t happen on their own
You have to make them happen..

The choice is yours
Become the gifted one by your own choice
Or
Remain the ordinary one glancing other ‘gifted ones’..
There’s no substitute for hardwork

There’s no shortcut to your desired goals
Nobody can stop you if you dare to win.
The sooner you understand
The better it is for you
And the more benefit you get

The more happy you will be
Simultaneously, the more ‘gifted’
You’ll be called.
Believe in yourself!

The world will believe in you !!

4 Ways to Develop Cognitive Skills For Kids in an Entertaining Way

What Decentering Whiteness for Families Looks Like

Looking Beyond the Individual

As a life coach for teens and parents, I think often about what it means to heal and what it means to truly feel whole. See, we are whole and perfect as we are, but we don’t always feel, know, and believe this.

These words are “hot topics” and messages from the personal development field. And while I believe this work to be important, I don’t see personal development leaders talking enough about how complex this work really is. I don’t see coaches and “healers” talking enough about life beyond the individual. Healing can only go so deep if it’s focused only on me.

True healing, collective healing, involves looking to my family, my community, my society, my world. Furthermore, this means familiarizing myself with systems of power and oppression that are actively causing harm in these spaces. In this article, we will consider the social construct of race, which benefits white folks and oppresses people of color (POC).

I’m speaking in this article as a white woman in the United States. The perspective and ideas I share here come from reflecting on my own experience of race and racism, conversations with friends and colleagues from diverse backgrounds, and research about racism. It is my intention that this article serves as an invitation to parents, caregivers, and supporters, especially those who identify as white or “white-passing,” to reflect on your own relationship to race and how it impacts and influences the way you show up for the children and teens in your life.

 

Decentering Whiteness

Here in the United States, whiteness is perceived as neutral; whiteness is seen as the default. If you are a white person reading this, I encourage you to pause. Notice how your body is reacting to these words so far. Notice if any thoughts, emotions, or words have come to mind. Keep breathing. There’s space for your entire experience here.

Next, thinking critically, notice and name the ways your whiteness is centered as the “norm” in the spaces you spend time– neighborhood, school, work, etc. Becoming aware of this widespread truth, is the first step to DEcentering whiteness.

My whiteness is not actually neutral. Your whiteness if not neutral. Whiteness at large is not neutral.  Whiteness means privilege that our friends and colleges of color do not wake up to. For example, I’m not asked where I’m from or what my background is; my college education is assumed; I see myself heavily represented in the spaces I frequent (yoga studios, grocery stores, and women in business meetings); I turn on the TV or scroll instagram and see myself all over the place. This is white-centeredness, white privilege, and this is also white supremacy.

These two words, white supremacy, they might scare you right now. And they should. Because they mean power, oppression, harm, hurt, and abuse. White supremacy most simply put says that white means superior. Each of the items I listed above is evidence that in 2018 in the United States, whiteness is still positioned as superior. Yes, white supremacy includes violent acts, hate crimes, and groups like the KKK, but it starts with and is perpetuated by words and actions that CENTER whiteness.

These two words, white supremacy, should also be words that you become familiar with. It’s (past) our time to be aware of, name, and move away from the ways we are complicit with white-centeredness. We have to own the fact that seemingly simple words and thoughts we have contribute to white supremacy. These is the implicit bias we have inherited, the myth we are been sold.

The Real Personal Development Work

THIS work of uncovering the ways we have absorbed and fed white supremacy over time is the real personal development work. This work is required before we can reach the “love and light” and “we are one” ideas that we want to believe in. We will not get free or heal or feel whole if we do not do the work of decentering whiteness in our own minds. Until we name the ways white supremacy shows up in our everyday lives and look it in the eyes, we will be stunted in our growth, our healing, and our personal development.

I’m sure that these words so far have sparked curiosity and a sense of self-awareness. You may be wondering how to channel this energy. Today, I’m sharing 4 practical and meaningful steps you and your family can take to decentering whiteness.

Practical AND Meaningful Steps to Decentering Whiteness

  1. Notice and name actions and thoughts that contribute to white supremacy. Become comfortable being uncomfortable with your own default thoughts and beliefs. Meet yourself with compassion as you learn to challenge yourself to consider where these came from. Over time, with observation and self-kindness, you will create new beliefs.
  2. With a generous and curious heart, explore, support, and learn from other cultures. Maybe you start with books and literature that you share these with your children and teens. Maybe you and your family attend local events that center on people of the Global Majority and their traditions. Maybe you explore listening to music from around the world or learning a new language as a family. As you begin this practice, be mindful of your intentions. Be careful not to exotify or sensationalize folks who are different than you; here, the lens of curiosity is of utmost importance.
  3. Consume a wide range of content. Notice who you and your children see represented in the shows and movies you watch, the social media accounts you follow, the books you read, etc. Introduce new perspectives, voices, cultures, and backgrounds regularly. We have so much to learn from other another! Additionally, and more importantly, reflect and consider differences with appreciation and curiosity.
  4. Engage in dialogue with other white people. It is not the work of people of color to educate us about race and how damaging this oppressive system has been for generations upon generations. This is our work, and it’s tough work. Find friends and family members who are ready to engage in this conversation; people who are ready to look at themselves deeply, truthfully, and with love. Community is important as we do this deep internal work because we have to talk it out, cry it out, and get messy in order to do better. I’m currently facilitating a Decentering Whiteness group that meets via Facebook and locally in the Austin, Texas area to explore this topic; join us if this aligns with your journey!

Courtney Headshot in Green DressAs you dig into this work, stuff is going to come up. There will be resistance, tears, apologies, connections, realizations, insights, anger, sadness, remorse, growth… There’s space for all of these feelings because without tapping into these, without discomfort, the cycle of centering whiteness will not come to an end. Along this journey, you may find a need or desire to connect with and feel supported by others. I invite you to explore this guide to building your support system because this work is deep, and you are not alone.

As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney helps young people get out of worry, isolation, and anxiety and into connection.Download your free support system map here!

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

Gardening is a habit that is typically associated with the elderly. We all know a grandmother or a grandfather who spends their time digging up weeds in their plot of land in the backyard, and making it bloom with wonderful colors.

We know that it is relaxing for them, and we know that it makes them happy. But did you know that gardening can also be practiced by children? In fact, it is recommended that you let your kids learn how to garden. Why? Here is how gardening benefits kids, and here are five reasons why your child should garden.

Appreciation for Greens and Vegetables

It is no secret that children will prefer never to eat fruits and vegetables if they can help it, and this is a pressing problem for many households all over the world.

While changing this tendency may not happen overnight, it can happen when you allow your children to learn about what it takes to plant and grow their own greens. Many parents of children who garden have found that kids will eat more fruits and vegetables when they have personally grown it themselves.

Adoption of a Lasting Life Skill

Gardening is not just about putting something in soil and waiting for it to bloom. It is a veritable lesson in hard work, patience, and caring – and these are things that any child should learn, at an early age.

Kids who garden can grow up to be mature, level-headed adults who understand the value of hard work, and who will always make sure that they do what they can to make good things happen. When you teach your child to garden, you set him or her up for a life of beautiful things.

Better Appreciation of Food and Less Wastefulness

Many children are wasteful, when it comes to food. They think of nothing about not finishing their meals and throwing away the scraps. If your child has this habit, you can help weed it out of him or her by letting him or learn explore how the food that they eat grows.

Parents of children who garden have noticed that when their child learned to garden, they were less likely to waste food, and they grew to appreciate it better, even those that they did not plant and grow.

 

A Life Free From the Influence of Gadgets

It is normal for children in this day and age to want to spend a portion of their day in front of a television, mobile, or computer screen, but it becomes a problem when children spend too much time in front of the screen. Gardening helps remind your child that there is a whole other world beyond the contents of their television sets and computers, and this is a lesson that you will want them to know, from the get-go.

This can help prevent future problems and even make sure that your child learns to navigate the world around him or her better than most of his or her peers would.

Bonding Time with the Family

Finally, letting your children learn to garden can be the new family bonding that you need. There is something very special about the collective work that you do, and you can learn to appreciate each other better through this shared pastime. Your children will also look forward to staying at home when they know that they can take part in an activity that they will enjoy, with the people that they love.

Getting Started with Gardening for Children

If you’re ready to take your kids out to see the joys of gardening, there are a couple of things to remember. Here are some of the most important of them.

Provide proper guidance and support. If you yourself garden, you can personally give hands-on training to your kids so that they learn about gardening, straight from you. If you don’t, you can opt to hire somebody to teach them, or you can make use of many resources so that you can guide them through the first few days.

However you choose to do it, just make sure that you are there to offer support. Be mindful of their questions and concerns, and get them the guidance that they need. Pretty soon, they will be able to stand on their own, and then you will have planted something that will grow into something magnificent in the future.

Provide proper incentives. It is also recommended that you make gardening as appealing as possible to your children. For instance, you can promise to prepare a delicious snack after their time in the garden. Similarly, you can build them a veritable paradise that is dedicated to fairy gardening in Australia or in other areas or in other areas, through decorative gardening accessories.

Encourage the habit. Finally, let your children know that they can turn to you for help and support, when and if they need it. Grow with them as they grow, enjoy with them as they enjoy, and be there to applaud every milestone that they achieve.

Shawn T. Thompson is a well-known blogger who has a wide variety of interests and specializes in doing in-depth research of garden. He is a Writer, Editor & Blogger. Love to gardening. He is currently a blogger for Earth Fairy in a genuine effort to provide the best quality content to her readers.

Parents Raising World Children

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The Loneliness Parents Don't Talk About

The Loneliness Parents Don’t Talk About

Parenting is a paradox. You are constantly surrounded by people and yet, extremely alone in the challenges you face. And No one talks about how isolating the solitude is and how utterly dark it can get within.

I lived 5 years by myself before being married. Had many meals, enjoyed movies, trips to the market, holed up in my room reading happily. I have always known how to be by myself. But being lonely within a family is an alternate reality.

And yet you do not see anyone discussing how lonely being a parent can become. You may know yourself before but after having kids you sometimes slowly lose the connections you had and sometimes yourself as well.

Before having kids, you are flitting around parties, going out whenever you want and having friends over at the drop of a hat. After the babies are born, the most well meaning friends stay away so as to give you space to adjust, so much so that the phone stops ringing.

The babies keep you on your toes and the words, “needs to be fed” and “needs a nap” have you rushing home. As they grow up, their random tantrums and exhausted crying have you wishing you had just stayed home.

Your friends who do not have children do not understand the urgency created by a restless child (on the verge of a tantrum). Friends who are not drama free are distanced from without conscious thought because you honestly do not have anything left to give to them. After all, your time is already consumed by kids’ tantrums.

The few couples who do have children may be ones with whom your kids just don’t get along with and even if they do, it may happen that your parenting philosophies don’t match. In the end, you end up with little to no friends with whom you can relax. Slowly, as the kids grow up you realize school, classes, birthday parties and chores leave you with no actual time in which to socialize.

The Isolation of Parenting

It eats at you, this slow isolation that happened without you actually being aware. Humans are a social group. We need connections in order to thrive and in fact survive. Social media does not help as you see the best moments of other families enjoying their apple picking and parties. You do not realize it is not real life but a reel life that you see on screen. Everyone goes through the same pains but do not care to reach out during them instead only coming to you with their joys.

Social media is no help for it only makes you feel, how others are managing the same milestones so much better. Here you are wallowing alone on weekends and others seem to be partying through parenthood.

You grow cranky and exhausted without those few precious moments with people with whom you just laugh and be carefree. And if, within that time your spouse has to travel for work, you end up being completely isolated without any adult conversation and no one to express your frustrations to.

All of the above happened to me. To top it all, all my acquaintances and one of my best friends moved away. There was a period of 6 months when I literally scrabbled to understand what it was that I was going through. I grew listless, irritable, going through the motions, developing aches and pains that I couldn’t justify.

What was worse was, I started pushing away the couple of friends I did have left. I started stalking them on social media, obsessing over who was doing what, and whey they weren’t doing it with me. Why they hadn’t commented on my photos, why I wasn’t invited to one party but not the other , etc. I had the time in which to create a pity party in which I was Chief Guest.

One day I realized I was just ruining my own peace of mine. This wasn’t who I wanted to be. I needed to channel my energies positively and find outlets for myself. Empower myself to be a better mom and person. No one but me that could get me out of this hole I had dug up.

What did I do? Well, I pushed all the below up a notch. These are tips I think would help you too.

Celebrate Everything

Even if it’s a small win. Or a celebration no one else cares about. Light some candles, make a dinner. Have an impromptu party with the kids. Do not ever let your kids be affected by what you are going through. Teach them the importance of living life to the fullest.

I believe in enjoying life to the fullest now. Celebrating Valentines day my way, even if my husband doesn’t want to plan anything on this commercial holiday.

Find A Mission

I joined a non profit called Circle of Peace International, and worked with them using all the social media knowledge I had to help spread the word about them.

There are many non profits out there that need people to give a helping hand. Find a cause to support. Use your talents in any small way to be there for those less fortunate. Even if it is just making cards or ornaments for the festive season, doing something for another less fortunate helps not only them but is good for your soul.

Take Care of Your Body

Walks and runs are good for exercise but more than that the fresh air, open spaces and silence is good for your soul. Going to the spa is not just a matter of luxury but your body being pampered reaches out to your mind to soothe it. If you cannot afford the spa, use at home remedies to invigorate your senses.

Give yourself nurturing time. Dress up and go to town for no reason other than you want to look pretty for yourself.

Get a Baby Sitter

This is an issue most Indian families face who are not used to hiring baby sitters, specially when living in USA far from family they trust.

I cannot stress this enough. If you have no family or friends to assist, find a baby sitter in your community that you can trust with your children for even a few hours. Or better yet, let your husband take over. Yes! He’s not a baby sitter but the father. But let’s face is. Not most dads are hands on all the time and this time alone with the kids is a great way to get to know the kids uniquely.

Get out of the house by yourself, go shopping, read a book or if possible catch up with an old friend.

Pursue an Interest

My biggest solution was nurturing my passion for writing and creating.

You need to have a passion to feed your inner self. Writing, gardening, painting, find something that helps you grow. Creating something other than your children’s schedule for the day is extremely essential.  Me time in which you are not watching TV  or reading a book but putting something out there. Using your body and mind to create

Find Your Tribe Again

Reach out to your old friends. Make new ones. Many a times for no reason people just grow apart. Even if they do not have kids, even if your children do not get along, do not let it affect your relationships. Talk to the person at the park.  Converse with others, learning what their life is about.

Everyone needs someone, and maybe by reaching out for a coffee or a drink that someone could be you being there for them. Be the first one to be a friend. Be for someone, what you need in your own life.

Disconnect

Step away from the social media apps. Switch off the TV. Dare yourself to not log into the accounts on certain days or hours of a day. The silence virtual and real, will force you to think up ways to occupy your time more productively.

Let’s face it. A lot of anything does more harm than good.

Meditate

Take a few moments to empty your mind of all the schedules and multi tasking clutter and empty it to let thoughts in. As we need air to breathe, we need our senses to be able to feel every single moment in it’s totality, something we rarely do in the daily grind that is life.

Be Your Own Friend

I realized I had become dependent on having a friend to be with when I was not with the kids. I needed to grow myself in a way that I could to appreciate. While being with my kids watching them play is amazing, having them with me had become a crutch that I needed subconsciously. Going out means going out for grocery or to run errands. Don’t just do that. Go out to do something that you love that is not connected with children. Spend time with yourself and the experience the world as it was meant to be.

Most importantly, do not feel you are ever alone. You just need to reach out, physically or metaphorically. And the universe will take care of the rest. Give yourself a chance to love yourself.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”. Her own book Strong Roots Have No Fear comes out soon.

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

Competitive momming is a problem, a big problem. It feels as though we’ve lost our villages, especially when everyone on social media seems to be playing the one-upsmanship game.The thing is, competitive parenting isn’t new, it’s just that we see it a lot more.

Feeling as though life is a competition can lead to some pretty bad problems with depression, especially for new moms.  Here are some ways to deal with it when it comes up – whether in person or online.

Ask yourself if the person is actually trying to compete.

Sometimes, what we take as competition really isn’t. A mom may be socially awkward and may be trying to relate to you. Others may be trying to share something that they’re excited about, but it’s not translating that way on social media, or the delivery is off.

Sometimes, too, when we feel someone’s trying to compete, it’s really more about ourselves. We might feel that we’re lacking in some way or another and misread the intent as snarky. It’s important to try to see through what’s being said to what’s being intended.

Ask yourself why the person might be trying to compete

Might the individual in question be experiencing feelings of self-consciousness or guilt him or herself? This can cause people to be more competitive than they ordinarily would be. For example, a mom who is feeling guilty about having her child in day care because her family is trying to shame her for working or who is self-conscious because she’s a stay-at-home mom and getting flack about not working may come off as more snarky than she intends to if she’s put on the defensive.

If you feel that the person may be acting in a competitive way from a place of vulnerability, validate his or her claim, then complement the person on something that she’s doing well.

Don’t feed the troll

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a parent is one-upping others or maybe you. Joey did great on his spelling test, so Debbie feels the need to comment that her Chandler got skipped a grade ahead, and Alison states that her Gina is homeschooled and working at an 8th grade level at age 7.

Don’t give into the impulse to pile on. Yes, maybe Alex just got another belt level in karate, but does it need to be said? Instead, go back to the original focus, Joey, and tell his mom to congratulate him on the good work he’s done.

The pile of stuff competition

I see this every holiday season, and it’s something that personally makes me nuts. A parent either posts about not giving kids a bunch of toys, or sticking to 4 gifts, or posts a photo of an overstuffed Easter basket or overflowing Christmas tree. People pile onto the original poster and attempt to shame the person into doing things their way.

No matter how bad you might want to, don’t add to it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extreme giver or a four gifter or you do no gifts at all but experiences and others do differently. What does matter is that what your tradition is makes you and your family happy.

Watch your own urge to compete

It’s natural to want to show off your child, but remember, your child’s achievements belong to him or her, not you. It’s one thing to share those achievements, it’s another to brag about them.

Before you comment on someone else’s post or announcement with a competitive bend, ask yourself if you’re really adding something to the conversation. It may be better to instead congratulate the person and save your own announcement for another time.

What have you done to reduce competition?

What actions have you used to reduce competition when you’ve seen it? Have you found something that works well to de-escalate the situation? Share in the comments.

When did Parenting Become a Competitive Sport? Parenting Competition needs to be avoided

  Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parRonda Bowen Raising World Children – Where Cultures Meet Parentingenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.