4 Secrets To Living Your Life Happy and Stress Free

4 Secrets To Living Your Life Happy and Stress Free

Stress, anxiety and depression are terms that were not really heard of until a decade ago. The word ‘stress’ was  used in a very generalized way to express being tired of something or doing something. 

Today, we know ‘STRESS’ as the root of most ailments in the world. Yet, we as humans allow it to permeate into our daily lives. Living stress free is the ultimate goal! 

Self Assessment With Gratitude 

Do you wonder why the people around you are always agitated? Do you pause to think why your kids seem so perturbed?

‘YOU’ could possibly be the reason of their behavior. Our mood swings, our anxiety over trivial issues, our anger  are all seen, felt and reflected.

Most of us are guilty of that but isn’t it a little unrealistic to expect others around us to be positive and happy? Now really, if you’re having a bad day and have not managed to smile all day, would you really blame your spouse for not being there or not talking two sweet words to you, while YOU are sulking and drowning yourself in negativity.

SOLUTION : Kick starting our day with a positive and clear mind will make us and the people around us feel joyful and content. Showing gratitude to our spouse and children will make their entire day. Learning to let go off small issues to maintain peace in our relationships, goes a long way. We can pray, meditate, listen to some soothing music, practice yoga or take a walk to keep all those cynical thoughts at bay (or rather away!)

Set Realistic Goals 

Most students and their parents dread that time of the year when the exams and results are declared. Sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and anxiousness takes over. Then comes the D-Day and what happens after that? Doesn’t life just go on? Unfortunately, these days we also get to hear of people ending their lives over not meeting their family’s or their own expectations. Sadly, peer pressure is taking a huge toll on children and adults alike.

Years ago, when I was going down in the elevator with my neighbor’s high school goer, I asked him what he plans to do after his high school. With a dejected look he said, “I am very passionate about cricket and want to play cricket for India. But my father has said that I should only think of engineering and nothing else.”

I was really sad to see his despair. That day I promised myself that when I become a parent, I would let my child follow their passion and always support them in their choices within reason. I really wish that all parents could understand their children’s feelings, goals and aspirations better.

SOLUTION : We are seeing a generation who are coercing themselves to go beyond what is achievable. That doesn’t mean we should not aim higher or aspire for the better. But we should also learn to set realistic goals and work towards achieving them. We need to focus on giving our cent-percent and stop worrying about the outcome and result.

Step Out of The Rat Race Of Life

A few months ago an Indian movie called ‘Hindi Medium’ had released. The movie was based upon a metropolitan couple, who did not have a great command over the English language but wished to send their daughter to an elite International school. They wanted her to be everything they were not. The movie further depicts their dejection and the turmoil they go through, to ensure a guaranteed admission of their child into a prestigious school. It was a great movie but I thought it was a little far-fetched.

To my surprise (rather shock!) when I came to India for a vacation, I realized that the issue addressed in this movie was actually a reality. Conversations with friends and family pointed out to one common thing, i.e the competition is way too much.

Children attend school all day and have numerous classes planned out for the remaining hours for the whole week. Do you think kindergartners really need to attend extra classes for general knowledge, football, swimming, etc.

As if this wasn’t appalling enough, I had a friend tell me that she is going crazy trying to get an admission form for her 8 month old son. I asked her why is she fussing over school so soon. It seems like the norm to apply for kindergarten admission is when you are pregnant or just deliver your child (believe me, I was as surprised as you are reading this!) Fast forward to two weeks later, when I met her she seemed relaxed and content. She finally acquired an admission form from the school she plans to send her child to. He starts school in 2020!! I rest my case.

SOLUTION : Back in our day, we attended school and everything else was learned, absorbed or picked up from our daily lives. We increased our general knowledge by reading newspapers and encyclopedias. Swimming meant time to go to the beach. Most activities were unstructured and that was the best part about it. Today, even learning a new sport or language feels like an ADDED STRESS to the child because it has to revolve around his/her and the parents’ busy schedules.

Remember We Are Being Watched


As adults we stress over finding the right partner, getting married, paying the bills, having kids, raising kids, getting a high-salary job, making the perfect house and so much more. We need to realize that habitually stressing over something might be rubbing off on our kids and the people around us too.

Unknowingly, this may affect our kids and they might imbibe it into their subconscious. The repercussion of this is that they will grow to be adults with a low self-esteem, no self-worth, have anger and anxiety issues, and will be dismissive of life.

Every parent in this world only wishes the best for their child. Pressurizing kids to overachieve might seem what’s right for now but it actually does not enable them to be self starters.  

SOLUTION : The focus needs to be on encouraging and appreciating our children for their efforts, for pushing them towards self-learning, for teaching them to rise above every shortcoming and to accept failures as a part of life and move ahead. We need to stop cushioning them and allow them to fail or fall back in a few of their endeavors. And unless we lead the way, how else would they learn to take responsibility?


A few marks up or down or a few thousands here or there, will not matter in shaping us to who we become eventually. Scoring a 100% or raking in a six-figure salary CANNOT guarantee a stress-free happy life.

Being content and grateful with what we have and being confident of ourselves, while accepting our flaws, will definitely make us appreciate our lives more.

Stop the fuss, eliminate the stress and enjoy the adrenaline rush of this wonderful roller-coaster called LIFE. For we can all get on this ride only ONCE! And if you’re still not satisfied, then remember that ‘stressed’ read backwards is ‘desserts’. So go grab a bite or a whole cake…whatever makes you feel better!!

Secrets To Living A Stress Free Life Easily | Stress Free | Family Life

 Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, She has had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. She thus, considers herself a global citizen. She is always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivism. On most days, she is a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom
7 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew

7 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew

I am part of a lot of mom groups. A few of them are of course focused on early education or future academic. And the most common thing I notice is how worried parents are.  Every parent  tries every possible avenue they think can be used, to give their child the extra edge to succeed in the world.

This worry is inherent in us as parents and something I personally face daily. But how much of it is a valid concern? Are we worrying about the right aspect of our child’s development?

According to my son’s teacher from first grade last year, ‘parents really do not need to be so anxious (namely me 🙂 ). She told me how the extra classes kids take these days are not even necessary and actually hampered her teaching at school and the child’s over all development. What was more important was kids to play freely and learn essential life skills before entering school system.  The outdoors in fact is a better learning atmosphere at an early age.’

This led to the below conversation, when I called my mother in law to wish her Happy Teachers  Day today. Geeta Singh, a prolific educator who has been teaching since January of 1985, for over 34 years and has been a principal of two schools for over 7+ years. A truly inspiring influence on the many lives she has touched during her teaching career and much loved by every student she comes across.

She spoke about how the education system today has taken much of the power away from the teachers. In the 80s and 90s, teachers had much more influence over students since they could provide appropriate consequences. But with changing time and the evolution of the education system, now it a LOT more the parents who have to support the teachers in the right way to help shape their kids growth.

Yet, not in the way parents think. Society today is very misconstrued about what every child truly needs in their early years and even in the later years. 

Here are the 7 universal things she knows first hand as an educator, all teachers wish parents knew. 

Take Time to Understand Your Child

Children are all born a certain way. There is a nature that your child is born with, which needs to be accepted. Your dreams and hopes do no define your child.  What needs to actually happen is for you to take the time to actually observe your child and take in who they are before molding them into what you think they should become. This is where play time, long walks and conversations with your children come in. Spend time with your child without purpose to better get a sense of who they are.

This is a great tool which will show you where your child is meant to excel in. Do not blame teachers or even your child for not doing well in a certain subject. They just may not be inclined towards it naturally. It’s not that your child is not intelligent enough. They just are interested in other subjects and will perform in those.

Learn to Question Your Child’s Motive

We as parents tend to trust our children blindly. Often children say things that aren’t really true. The source of this lies in many factors. Not to say that the child is bad but maybe they are experiencing feelings they cannot verbalize in the right way.

When your child says something about teachers at school or peers even, take the time to analyse what they are saying. Ask probing questions and calmly try to understand what your own child’s version might be in relaying said conversation to you. School is a different environment where a child experiences varied emotions and thus they tend to be a version of themselves parents do not often see. Before taking any rash decision based on your child’s words, understand what might have happened.

And in case of conflict, converse with the teacher, not accuse her.

Make a Habit of Looking At Your Child’s Bag

When kids come to school, they begin to think of their school bag as their private space. Since the beginning of school years, make it a habit to be the one to take out your child’s homework so you always know what is inside your child’s bag. As the kids get older and bolder, their bag becomes the place which they can use to hide things they do not want parents to see.

Teach Your Kids About Hygiene & Presentation Early 

It is unfortunate when kids are not taught the importance of presentation early. Outer appearance is a reflection of the person inside. Do not teach your kids to be flashy. But educate them about basic cleanliness concepts and how to dress for any given occasion. This is something many parents fail to teach their kids. Respecting and taking care of your bag, shoes,  clothes, accessories and self is something that should be imparted early.

Encourage Your Child Towards Extra Curricular Activities

Specially in their later years. In life, how one utilizes leisure time is very important. Kids need to know that they can work on their passion projects. Many adults today spend their time watching TV/ browsing phones since they do not know how to creatively spend their free time. Be an example for your child in this matter.

Sports and art are a very important part of every child’s growth into adulthood. It is unfortunate that over time, specially as kids get older parents stop supporting extra curricular activities, even monetarily at school. This is detrimental not only to every child’s growth but specially to those kids who excel in a certain art form.  Help your child encourage their preferred art work in any way possible.  

Your Child’s Grade is NOT Everything. 

Your child has varied interests. Not every child is going to excel academically. Or in every subject. And that needs to be okay too. This is NOT failure in any form. When parents put kids early into extra classes and apply pressure for academics, it makes the child peak and burn out soon. This hampers their future in a way many parents do not foresee. Let your child grow in the way they are meant to. No one cares what your child’s second grade position is.

What is in fact needed is the teaching of all round growth.

Knowledge
Understanding
Application 
Skill

What a screw is and it’s use once taught is understanding. But the actual applications of screw at home and making use of it in day to day life is skill development. How to apply knowledge what is more important. Instead of sending kids for academic classes after school show them the ways in which what they have learnt gets applied in their day to day life.  Mark sheets are no guide to real life.

Nurture Your Child’s Moral Growth

This is something parents need to focus on more at home and teach ways in which kids can be kind to their peers and teachers at school. Helping others gives everyone a better sense of self worth, that is severely lacking in today’s child driven society. Parents are so way focused on academics that they lose sight of teaching kids how to go that extra mile for another human being. And that is a major reason for negative experiences by students at school.

In addition to this, it is very important it is for everyone to honor teachers in every form. Not just the ones at school, but their parents who are the first teachers of every child, family members and friends who help teach us many of life’s important lessons.

After this conversation, I found another great resource that spoke about this very same topic.
Are you a teacher reading this?
What would you add to this prolific teacher’s list of things parents should be aware of?
7 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew #HappyTeachersDay #TeachersDay #education #kids #teaching
Like This Post. Share With Friends.

 

 

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”. Her own book Strong Roots Have No Fear comes out soon.

 

What Maayeka Really Means To An Indian Girl

Raising my Indian Daughter Differently

The Indian value system is quite complex. On the one hand they have great core values like parents always standing by their children in every life situation and promoting joint family living situation. On the other hand every Indian Daughter is subconsciously taught that our contribution to society is valuable only in the context of wife and mother.

Being from a moderate yet conservative family, My life was not an exception., My parents tried their best to raise me well by providing for my many needs. I was happy with the choices they made for me.

To their credit, they tried to keep themselves update with the ever changing society norms. I was blessed with a perfect family with full of love and joy but there was always a subtle criticism involved when it came to some of my behavior and attitudes.

Even the best parents will yell at their daughters if they are sleeping past 9 a.m, laughing out so loud or being to social  in the crowd because they think it is not appropriate.

” What will your future in-laws think of you and the way we have raised you “ was a frequent lament!

My Story

When the marriage topic was began for me at age 23, I felt I was in a different world altogether. I saw a completely different side to my mother. There are other families where getting married gets discussed when the daughter  turns 21. I guess it’s fine, at the least you were be free for 21 years, sort of.

Yes, my in-laws are so sweet and caring and I never felt feared being myself around them. Initially though I cared for them because “in laws are your own family now.  They come first and should get all the love and respect the second you become a wife. “ Thank god after some days I realized they really deserved it all for treating me like a daughter.

It’s like they were not only worried about society but also the future family I was going to get married. Our story is not unique though and unfortunately, many girls get influenced by this thinking. There are other families where getting married gets discussed when the daughter turns 21. I guess it’s fine, at the least you were be free for 21 years, sort of.

Raising My Indian Daughter Differently 

Girls are taught to take up as little room as possible in this world, not just physically, but also in the way they speak, laugh and assert themselves. When I had my daughter I decided to parent her differently.

    • If my daughter wants to play cricket in the street with boys, if she loves to climb trees or to laugh loudly or be boisterous, I will never stop her. I will trust my kid forever.
    • I will wish to stand by her side in all situations. I will not accuse her of bringing shame to my family whenever she does something unreasonable.
    • I will never ask her to put her passions and dreams on the back burner for getting married.
    • I will not ask her bear a  child within the so-called time limit of 28 years.
    • She will be valued for the same reasons as every son for their intelligence, strength, creativity and passion.
[bctt tweet=”Indian girls are taught to take up as little room as possible in this world, not just physically.” username=”contactrwc”]

If the parents like us don’t see our son and daughter as equal then how will the society see and treat our girls equal? Especially during the marriage phase, I don’t want to intimidate my daughter and make her feel that her husband’s family are so different and she have to convince them in each situation. I need to teach her what marriage is all about and how lovely it is to be getting married and taking care of the family. Naturally she going to be an endearing daughter in law.

I want her to know self-love is the best thing she can do to herself. It is the greatest love of all. To show respect to everyone and their feelings regardless of their age is a basic quality she should never give up.

With these values she will surely grow to be of strong character. What else do you think I can do differently to empower her? 

Raising My Indian Daughter Differently www.raisingworldchildren.com #indianparenting #india #indianvalues #parenting

Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.
“102 Not Out” Celebrates the Very Spirit of Parenting

“102 Not Out” Celebrates the Very Spirit of Parenting

102 Not Out is a great example of once a parent, always a parent!

Parenting is a lifelong project, where the focus is on raising independent children, who are capable of leading lives with joy and happiness independently, without any external support (including parents).

The idea for me as a mother completely resonated, when I watched a 102 year old Dattareya Vakhria (role immaculately essayed by Amitabh Bachchan) fighting tooth and nail, through a series of comic challenges thrust upon, his already old and senile 75 year old son Babu (played perfectly by Rishi Kapoor), to instill the value of self-dependence and finding joy within.

Dattareya for this understands that he has to set the right example by living a similar life first and so he does. He believes in living life each day, without any grudge or repentance. His mission in life is to break the only living man’s record ( a Chinese who is 118 year old).To fulfill the goal, Dattareya needs to be happy, calm and composed, which he believes he will not be able to with his boring, ever cribbing and complaining son, who makes morose out of every situation. For the sake of this, he comes up with his ingenious plan of sending his son to an old age home.

What follows is a series of funny moments translating into moments that help you reflect on your ideologies as a parent and question your parenting spirit. If god forbid, we survived and lived up to 102, will we have first,  this zeal in life? And second, will we be able to spread it around so that our kids absorb it from us?

From Dattareya’s character one thing is for sure that as a parent, you need to love yourself first, so as to be able to think of your kids’ and their well being. As a parent, Amitabh’s character touched upon several aspects of parents, starting with self-love to providing the right guidance to his child (age no bar) by hook or crook.

What was endearing was that even at the ripe age of 102, Dattareya continued to parent his son, guiding him, or rather forcing him to get back on the track to lead a happy life.

He shows or rather sets an example that how as a parent, you always have to extend support to your child, to help him gain strength and confidence in himself, at every age and stage of life.

Dattareya was a man, who was hell bent to see his child, lead a happy life, sans all false dependence. He strives to make his son capable to live his life alone, to develop a positive attitude to life and everything around.

It was this spirit of Dattreya that made him “102 Not Out”! He truly showed the essence of being a positive parent, where age was no bar.

This movie is a must watch for all parents. Right from parents, who feel parenting is a short time project and they don’t need to extend any help, post children growing to a certain age, to those who resonate with the idea (this will stem the belief stronger), this movie transitions through phases of parenting and eventually teaches that as a parent, the guiding has to flow from you at every stage.

 

As a parent I would remain restless, till the time my son doesn’t get the idea of living right! After all, this is most important responsibility of me, as a parent.

If tomorrow, I see my child living a happy life (both physically and emotionally), gratitude filled and joyful life on his own, I will definitely give myself “a successful parent” award! Then maybe, I can would feel that I did a great job!

 
Malvika Roy Singh A freelance creative writer and blogger for the past 7 years, Malvika Roy SIngh writes about subjects like travel, food, lifestyle, health, interior designing, real estate, digital entertainment, media and marketing, education etc. Her parenting blog helps her be a conscious parent (www.wipmom.com) When she is not writing, she can be found either running or playing with her 4 year old son enjoying time reading. She resides in Hyderabad and can be reached at mroysingh@gmail.com
Kicking Off the School Year with Intention

Kicking Off the School Year with Intention

What is the end of summer looking like in your home? What’s it feeling like? Another big family transition is just around the corner– back to school!

You and your children or teens may be excited about getting back into the flow and routine of the school year, and you and your family may be anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, exhausted thinking about this change of pace. Anywhere along this spectrum is normal, reasonable, and understandable. 

Noticing Transitions

The truth is, transitions are challenging! There’s a certain energy of anticipation that hits, and as you begin to move into the change, you’ll likely notice various shifts in your mood, capacity, and energy. This is not a positive or negative thing; it just is.

Transitions require you to adapt and adjust. The transition from summer to school has the potential, like any transition, to bring discomfort, stress, and energy drain, even if you or your family feel excited! Furthermore, if one family member becomes overly stressed and begins to “flip their lid,” others will be impacted and will likely flip their lid too. Thus, it’s important to recognize and name the way transitions are influencing your family during this season and beyond.

You and your family have the opportunity to stay awake to your experiences in this transition, and there are tools and strategies you can implement to support the process.


Acknowledging Emotions

First, I invite you to talk explicitly about emotions. As the parent, share how you personally feel about the upcoming transition out of summer. Consider describing what parts of the experience you are excited about, nervous about, curious about, etc. It’s okay (and even helpful) to address emotions that feel tough or challenging; this can help your child or teen understand that their sensations are normal!

With a stance of curiosity, you can encourage your child to share, too, by asking how they are feeling. Their expression can be done through many modalities that you might suggest as options, including the following: drawing scenes that capture their emotions; using a 1-10 scale to rate how intensely they are feeling a sensation; circling the feelings that apply to them on a list of different emotions; using thumbs up/down/sideways to indicate how they’re feeling; and so on. Let me know what other methods you and your family come up with along the journey!

Time Management and Organization

Brainstorming organization systems as a family can be powerful as it promotes contribution and engagement from all members. I observe families having great success with family meetings focused on this topic. Through the crucial brainstorming process, allow all ideas to flow, even if they are silly, unreasonable, or humorous. The goal of this conversation is to determine how your whole family will stay on the same page about daily, weekly, and monthly schedules, so a little bit of laughter will help bring cohesion. If you and your children or teens want some help getting started, browse Pinterest

Click here to teach your child how to do goal setting and perseverance with the same.

I also invite you to take time with your family to gather copies of academic, sports, extracurriculars, church/religious, and other calendars that influence the family schedule. Find a home for these calendars, as you and your family will need to reference them regularly. Maybe it’s a binder or a digital shared album of the photos, but it must be something that works for your family. You may also consider having each family member transfer important dates (days off, holidays, exams, practices, etc.) into their individual calendars depending on the age-appropriateness of these details.

Furthermore, tt might serve your family to create an ongoing routine of sitting down at the end of each month to add additional dates (events, games, tests, etc.) to the upcoming month’s calendar; this, of course, could also be done on a weekly basis instead. Co-creating the calendar is a pathway to co-creating family time and family contribution.

school year routine

Incorporate School Year Routine


Additionally, I suggest creating lists that capture daily routines and procedures. Yes, this is also appropriate and helpful for teens! As you begin this process, ask your child or teen open-ended questions such as, “What do you need to do each morning to be prepared for school?” or “What steps do you need to take to get good rest each night?” Allow them to name tasks that are important to their success and personal comfort. Stay open to their answers, focus on listening, and refrain from micromanaging or advising. 

If there’s something important they seem to be missing, you can remind them by asking, “Where does brushing your teen fit in the routine,” for example. As a family, write these individualized routines down and encourage each family member keep them somewhere they’ll see them. (This includes you too, parents!)

In the chaos of the beginning of the school year, it can be helpful to decide on a 1-2 activities or commitments that everyone will show up for each week. The goal of these activities is to promote quality time and connection. Plus, if they are agreed upon as a family, it’s easy to hold them as priorities and to honor them in the family schedule. Ideas include things like pizza dinner on Thursdays, morning exercise on Saturdays, or attending a religious service together. What would bring your family together on a regular basis? 

Other Back to School Considerations


There are few other elements to consider through this important transition:

  1. Technology: Agree upon technology norms and limits as a family. You can ask, “What types of things do you need your phone for on a daily basis?” “What time should screens be put away so we can get the rest we need?” and “How long do you anticipate wanting to be on your phone for socialization or fun each day?” Help your children and teens make commitments and systems for their technology usage.
  2. Academics: Before the homework and projects hit full steam, it’s beneficial to explore opportunities for academic support. This can begin with browsing campus websites or portals, and it can progress to helping your child or teen identify the people on (or off) campus that they can turn to for help. For example: Is there a writing center? Do they know each teacher’s office or tutoring hours? Do they know how to log on to campus portals?
  3. Social and Emotional Life: Just as you and your family did with academic supports, explore and name social and emotional supports your family can access. This includes locating campus counseling and support personnel, discussing teachers or mentors they already have a relationship with, and considering extracurricular opportunities. Get my free download for building a support system here.
  4. Free Time: Discuss healthy, comforting options for after-school and weekend time. Remember to reserve and encourage time at home to rest, read, take care of chores, and simply be, as well as extracurriculars. 


As you and your family take on the 2018-2019 school year, I invite you to come back to this list again and again.Know that you might commit to a certain schedule or agreement and find that it’s not working in a week or two– that’s okay! Come back to the drawing board as a family, discuss what did and did not work, and try another idea, co-create a new strategy. Adjustments are a normal part of the process. Reach out if you’d like support on this journey into the academic year. 

Kick Off the School Year with Intention | How do you start

  As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

The Day My Son Realized We Are an Interracial Family

Laura Ramnath
The Ramnaths

I am American and about as pale white at they come. My husband is from the Caribbean and also lived in South America and has the perfect year around tan. When my son was born, he came out a perfect mix of the two of us but with my skin color. Given that we are an interracial couple, I assumed my son would easily accept other people and cultures. I found out a few months ago that I was wrong to assume that. I honestly never thought that I would have to explain why daddy was different.

Strange Behavior

A few months ago, my son, Logan, started acting very strangely towards Shadrach (his daddy). Logan wanted nothing to do with Daddy. He would push him away, run away from him, or did not want to play with him. The strange behavior started all of the sudden.

One night as I was putting Logan to bed, I asked him why he did not want to be around daddy and was treating him so badly. He told me that he did not like the color of daddy’s skin because it was different from his and mine. His answer floored me and caught me completely off guard.

Immediately my heart hurt for Shadrach. I was not expecting an answer like this. I never stopped and thought about the fact that I needed to teach my child about the differences in people and how that makes them each unique, especially when it came to his family. I just assumed that because this was his daddy and it was all he had ever known, that he would just love and accept him.

How We Taught the Differences Between People

I finished putting Logan to bed that night, after his confession about not liking his daddy’s skin color. My heart was heavy and I just kind of sat there and wondered what to do next.

The first thing I did, the very next day, was to start talking to Logan about what was different and what was the same between people. For example, I would ask him what was different about me. I would point out that I am a girl and he is a boy. That makes us different. Then, I would point out that he and daddy are both boys, which gives them something in common.

This little game continued when we were out in public. Quietly I would ask Logan what was different about people and then ask him to tell me if he could find something in common with them. Quickly Logan caught on and started pointing out people that looked like Shadrach and would exclaim, a little too loudly, “That man has the same color skin as my daddy!”

I was so glad to realize that he understood each person is made different and unique. The thing I wanted him to understand was just because someone looks or acts differently; it does not mean that is a bad thing. Also, my goal is to help him understand that we can always find something in common with another person.

This whole situation with Logan has taught me that as parents we do need to take the time to sit down and teach our children that people are made in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that is a good thing! Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.” username=”contactrwc”]

Each person reacts differently when they realize people are not quite like them. Logan acted scared and mad about it because it was something he did not understand. Some children are just curious and stare. Others may ask many questions about it. There is no wrong way, but as parents, we can pick up on these cues and start teaching them that those things that stand out are what makes those people unique.

Imagine how different our world could be if we all took the time to teach our children about different nationalities and cultures. The fear of someone different would go away because that fear comes from the lack of knowledge. While I am not done teaching Logan about all of this, I know that he is starting to understand and I see him learning to love people just as they are.

Can I challenge you as parents? Let children ask questions about people but make sure to explain things. Use it as an opportunity to teach about other cultures. If you do not know about certain cultures, be honest when your child asks. Then take the time to sit down and learn about it together.

Raising “world children” does not mean you have to travel around the world.

To me it means you sit down as a family and learn about different cultures, right in your home. Thanks to the internet, Pinterest, libraries, and television, there are plenty of opportunities to learn and teach your children about all the different cultures that make up our world.

I am thankful that we are such a diverse little family and it has opened up the doors to talk about different cultures and teach how to love each and every person, no matter who they are or where they are from.

The Day My Son Realized We Were An Interracial Family www.raisingworldchildren.com #interracial #family #parenting #multicultural

Laura Ramnath is the voice behind her Family and Lifestyle blog The Rambling Ramnaths. She has held positions in banking and worked for a children’s clothing designer, but currently, enjoys the crazy role of being wife to Shadrach and stay-at-home mom to their 4-year-old son Logan. He keeps life interesting as there is never a dull moment with him! Laura has a passion for life and enjoys family travels and adventures, hiking, going to the beach and binge watching Netflix. She is also a strong believer in CoffeeFirst!

6 Unexpectedly Positive Effects of Living with Food Allergies

6 Unexpectedly Positive Effects of Living with Food Allergies

Raising world children

Climbing up a hill behind a century old pueblo in New Mexico under an inky dark sky, I settled in a chair between my two children.  We are silent, gazing at a darkness we’d never seen, punctuated by blazing points of light.  I never dreamt a diagnosis of life-threatening food allergies for my son 12 years ago in Pennsylvania would have brought us here today.

Sometimes circumstance chooses you.

In the midst of closing on a new-old house in 2002, we were painting, racing back and forth between the two homes.  With my husband at the new house, I went back to give my 10-month-old something to eat.  I had grabbed a few jars of baby food at the market, thinking he might like the oatmeal & apple cereal as a treat.  Strapped in his high chair, smiling and babbling away, he obediently opened his mouth when I made like an airplane and zoomed the cereal to his mouth.

allergies became a cultureAfter a few bites, he stopped his normal movements.  His color turned gray.  I lived half a mile from the hospital, so I grabbed him and the jar and raced into the emergency room.  The nurse took one look and rushed him inside.  After doses of adrenaline and a battery of tests and several hours, they handed my son back to me with epinephrine and directed me to see an allergist.  I went home in a daze.  My son had a life-threatening food allergy to egg.  Further testing revealed allergies to wheat, peanuts, tree nuts and barley.  He had the same reaction to all of them.  He stopped breathing.

What do I do now?

There were no allergies in my family.  There also weren’t the products you see lining the market shelves today.  Even now, it’s rare to find something he can have.  There aren’t many products that encompass all his food allergies.  I didn’t know what to do.

His first birthday cake was a two-pound block of cheddar cheese with a single candle in it.  Three months after the diagnosis and I was still floundering.  My son’s allergist is one of my favorite people.  He galvanized me into action with one simple sentence.

Choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.

We decided that while his life would not be the same as others, it would still be extraordinary.  I learned everything I could about food allergies, cross-contamination, and to cook differently.  And I decided to home educate my son.

Some folks turn to home education because their school system is inadequate.  Some choose because their religious beliefs dictate another path.  And some choose because it’s the best way to keep their children safe.  We fell into the latter category.

After numerous close calls with cross contamination that wasn’t visible to the eye, we chose to embark on a journey I never envisioned. [bctt tweet=”Food allergies became the silver lining for my family, I had never expected.” username=”contactrwc”]

School is so much better the second time around.

Much to my surprise, I found that I loved home education.  I loved sharing the discovery with my son.  I loved being the one that sparked the “aha” moment.  In the beginning we covered all the standards covered in traditional schools:  he learned his numbers, the alphabet, how to read, how to add and subtract, how to spell.

We fell in love with books together.

Reading room was our favorite activity.  I’d spend at least two hours a day reading aloud, small boy seated by my side.  “One more chapter,” he’d plead.  “We’re just getting to the good part.”  Weekly trips to the library fed our voracious appetites.  His comprehension and vocabulary soared.  It was magical.

We loved the stories we read, but it wasn’t quite so interesting covering every other subject.  It wasn’t tactile enough.  We needed to get up close and personal.

School Became Discovering Cultures

We took our classroom on the road.  After reading about Vikings and the settlement of North America, we headed north to Canada and Nova Scotia.  We hiked Cape Breton Island, learned about Alexander Graham Bell at his museum in Baddeck, Nova Scotia.  We visited The Gaelic College in Englishtown and learned about Gaelic culture.  We stayed in a small cottage on the sea, owned by a man who had left his homeland in Holland to pursue life in a quiet Canadian province.

In Florida, we kayaked with manatees under the watchful eye of a conservationist who taught us the best way to see is to be quiet.  We were rewarded with glimpses of docile, lovely sea cows in their natural habitat.

We hiked through wetlands, careful to avoid sleeping alligators sunning themselves on the banks in the tall grasses.  Together we learned to be more observant of the world around us.

In New Mexico, we marveled at the idea of a “wild cow.”  Though I laughed at my son’s suggestion when we encountered a lone bovine in the mountains of the Gila National Forest, a shaman (medicine man) soon set me to rights as he pointed out what we could touch and what we should avoid walking in the wild.

California introduced us to sweeping extremes.  Desert in the south, full of rippled dunes that encroached on the roadway.  Sunny groves of citrus and almonds and avocados.  We saw firsthand what living in drought conditions meant for families that farmed dry acres.  We drove up through clouds to wrap our arms around the famous California redwoods trees, and we were cautioned to watch out for the grizzly bears.

We drove through miles and miles of our nation’s farmland, lulled into a quiet rhythm by seemingly endless acres of corn.  The very next day, the sense of calm was shattered as we raced toward Kentucky, ahead of a series of tornados.  The skies were black and calm and too quiet.  The lines for fuel were long.  Every day brought a new aspect of the adventure.

Conversations and Music

Each day on the road, we’d pull out a map and get a general idea of where we were headed.  Nothing was set in stone to allow for detours as needed.  One of our favorites started with a barbecue billboard and ended eating sandwiches along the river in Ozark, Arkansas on my birthday.  The late afternoon sun was warm and we were the only ones in this little town at the river that day.  Magical.

The connections and adventures are equally strong in your own town, or the next one over.  The idea is to talk more, learn firsthand and spend time together.  Creating memories leads to conversation, sometimes even lively discourse.  My son and I hold diverse political views.  But at the end of the day, we are better for the interaction and the time spent.

And Every day ends the same …

And I’m grateful for that.  As the day draws to a close, my son gives me a hug, and an “I love you, Mom.”

I love you too, Buddy.

How Our Life Improved By Living With Food Allergies www.raisingworldchildren.com #allergies #parenting #life #silverlings

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write
5 Words to Eliminate from your Child's Vocabulary Forever

5 Words to Eliminate from your Child’s Vocabulary Forever

How many times have you been told to “watch your language” or scolded a child and said “don’t say THAT word”?

In American society, we often polarize words as being “good” or “bad”.  When I have heard these phrases, they are typically speaking of words considered as “curse” words or “foul” language.

In truth, we have words that are considered “good” that are not given a second thought and are actually quite disempowering.

In the process of observing my own words and thoughts, I found several of these “fly under the radar” words that were incredibly harmful to my life and I began to shift them.  Celebration!

Once we begin to act as an observer in our lives and the lives of our children, we begin to see how words that are considered “good” words can be extremely detrimental to our growth.

Things You and Your child should both avoid saying.

 

 

 

 

Earlier today, I was out with my little three year old grandson.  We were having a great time playing at a local park until…..out of his little mouth came the very first word on my list.  Oh no!  What was I going to do, how would I handle it.  This was a critical moment!

The very first word in my list is CAN’T!

This particular park has playground equipment.  In one area, were these posts that were large enough to climb, stand and step to the next.  They were similar to stepping stones but off the ground.  They led you to the balance beam and then to the slide.  Here was this amazing little boy having a fantastic time, when all of a sudden he encountered a challenge a little too big for him.  With encouragement from me, I said, “what if you can?”.  I held his hand as he carefully took each step and made it all the way to the slide!  He said “I can do it, Grammy!” and I said “Of course, you can”!

This word is one that we say quite often to ourselves when something is a little challenging.  Our thoughts and words are powerful tools.  We can use them to propel us toward greatness or keep us stuck believing we “Can’t” get there.  It is important that we use them to move us forward.

 

 

 

 

Have you figured out other words that you should eliminate from your vocabulary?

If you were looking closely, you saw the second word in my list SHOULD!

This little trouble making word is full of guilt and shame.  When you use the word should, start to observe how you feel when you use it.  For example, “I should clean the house”.  “I should call my mother”.  How many times have you or your child been in a situation where you “should” on yourself?  One way to re-frame this is to either do the task or do not do the task and simply let it go.  Example would look something like this “I cleaned the house”.  “I will call my mother” or “I choose not to clean the house right now”.  “I choose not to call my mother, today”.

 

 

 

 

The next word on my list is used as a word to connect sentences.  The trouble with this little word is the mind focuses on it and everything said after it and disregards everything said before it.  Unfortunately, we often put the good stuff before the word and it is no longer heard.

The number three word on my list is BUT!

Let’s test out a few examples.  “You did a great job cleaning your room BUT you didn’t make the bed right”.  In this instance, “you didn’t make the bed right” is the only thing heard and retained.  Another way to say this might look something like “You did a great job cleaning your room!”  If you are looking for a teachable moment on the bed, consider using “Would you like to see a really cool way to make the bed?  Let’s try this together!”

 

 

 

 

Re-framing the way we say words takes a little practice.  Once we start to observe our language and how it makes us feel, it becomes much easier to empower our children with these new ways of speaking.

Number four on my list is actually the phrase HAVE TO!

When we speak and say we “have to” do something it has a heaviness to it.  It certainly does not sound like anything we want to do.  This can feel extremely disempowering and over time add to feelings of dread and depression.  When we have a task that we do want to do, we often say “I get to”.  As we begin to see everything we do in life as a blessing, instead of a chore, life becomes much more empowering and enjoyable.  Think of this example “I have to pay the mortgage payment”.  Yuck!  Seriously, who would want to do that!  When we consider the mortgage payment pays for the home that provides shelter for our family, we recognize it is truly a blessing.  We honor it with the re-frame “I get to provide a home and shelter for my family!”.  Which one feels better?


 

 

 

 

The last word on my list is a tricky one.  It is used in so many areas of our life.  We see it on billboards.  It may be heard it places of worship.  We freely use the term with others.

Number five on my list is the word HOPE!

This one is a little harder to see and understand.  It was not until I really tuned into my body when I said the word, that I recognized how much it made me feel helpless.  Consider this example “I hope I get to take a vacation this year” versus “I am taking a vacation this year”.  What about something bigger, “I hope I can provide for my family” versus “I know I can provide for my family”.  So much of our language that is considered “good” is often quite disempowering.  The word Hope gives the impression that we have no control over anything in our lives and feels quite passive.  I have found when my faith is at its strongest, I have no need to HOPE because I KNOW that I am open to receive and I am taking inspired action to create the desired results.

At the end of the day, the voice in our head and the words coming out of our mouths, allow us to create an empowering or disempowering reality for ourselves.  Children absorb everything at a rapid rate.  The thoughts and words that empower or disempower help to shape them for the rest of their lives.

 

 

 

  Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin and The Doors of Wellness at http://www.thedoorsofwellness.com on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thedoorsofwellness
5 Ways Our Move To Australia Affected Our Palate

5 Ways Our Move To Australia Affected Our Palate

Living in Kuwait, life was very pampered!

We  had an amazing array of cuisines at our beckoning. Even impromptu get-togethers were easily managed with a simple phone call. Not to mention home deliveries where every meal is brought to your doorstep most times for no extra charge.

The leisurely life however, was accompanied with a feeling of insecurity a sense of foreboding that came with living in a country that did not offer citizenship or the liberty of owning your home.  Once the kids came along, we were also looking for a good education system that was not exclusive or one with a hefty price tag.

Moving to Australia

Australia, ticked all the boxes for us when it came to raising a family. Our move to Australia, especially as parents can certainly be classified as a life changing experience in a lot of ways. Little did we know the impact the move to this beautiful country would have on our food habits. Not only our eating habits, but the way we perceived food and where it comes from.

Our first stop, Alice Springs – has always been a great conversation starter. Fondly known as the ‘heart’ of Australia because of its location also the red center due to the red soil that is found there. Alice Springs is infamous for its dry conditions.  This of course, suited my family as we were moving from Middle East with quite similar weather sans the dust storms that Kuwait is now famous for.

[bctt tweet=”The journey from Kuwait to Australia had these surprising consequences on our food.” username=”contactrwc”]

Cooking At Home

Our first meal in our very own home, overlooking the beautiful MacDonnell Ranges was a simple canned soup and some bread.  I was introduced to a new contraption called an electric cooktop which had coils/  similar to the mosquito repellent that I had seen growing up.  It is great for stir fries but was a challenge to simmer a curry, make a roti or the famous masala chai. God forbid the chai ever boiled over. The cleaning was yet another chore.

While thankfully, the western culture does not exactly encourage drop in visits we did have a few occasions where I had to quickly put on my thinking hat and improvise.

We quickly found out that our options for dining out were quite limited. In terms of the choices which are mostly the fast food. The price tag of most of the dishes  clearly implied we were much better cooking at home.  Thus started our food discovery.

Luckily numerous blogs and Youtube videos came to the rescue.  While an enthusiastic cook for the occasional potlucks and meals in Kuwait, it was a different ball game to cook every single meal from scratch right at home and on an  electric cook top none the less.

Team Effort in Cooking

But you know what ? I started enjoying it. Our new friends were very appreciative of the beautiful food. Samosas were quite aptly rechristened ‘mystery bags’ and our famous ‘neer dosas’ from Karnataka were adopted with quite a zeal. We were surprised at the number of Aussies who are vegetarians. I developed a new respect for the wide variety of vegetarian food that India is so famous for.

Tina MirandaBaking cookies, cakes and slices now became a team effort and we enjoyed the additional family time that came with it .. The first rainbow cake we made and the delight the kids had stirring the colour into the batter. The thrilled reactions to the first slice that they cut in.  Birthdays now became a project, and the demands for  castle cake, a teddy bear picnic cake and the likes started pouring in.

Enjoying Community in Austraila

My fondest memory of our very first Indian community get together in Alice Springs is how we were welcomed warmly among a group of complete strangers. I was promptly introduced to the ladies in the kitchen and lo and behold found myself with a rolling pin in hand rolling out the rotis for the group assembled.

While we had enjoyed  the schnitzel, fish and chips and roasts our Indian palate knew we were missing the savory snacks, street food and dosa chutneys.

Australia FoodThe Indian we met was quite pre-dominantly North Indian  while we hail from South India. I quickly learned their way of cooking which I had long admired and always ordered at restaurants.

Before I knew it, I could pull off a Jimmy’s Masterchef butter chicken recipe, a dal makhani and a mean aloo gobhi.  While parties back in India meant the hosts slaved or catered for the event from dawn to dusk, I loved the ‘bring a plate to share’ culture that Australia is famous for.

Many hands do make light work, not to mention a great array of dishes to enjoy.

Making treats at home also meant the kids were aware of the amount of work that went in. They were quite keen to learn how to cook traditional recipes especially the ones they were partial to. We were glad we were setting an example for the kids by now in their teen years to make healthy food choices independently.

Going Green for our Food

The solitude of living in the Outback also meant we paid more for the fresh food that was shipped interstate. I was quite aware of food wastage and ensured each scrap of food was either used or composted.

We started backyard gardening which can be a challenge especially if you are renting.  Our very first investment being a curry leaf plant because no Indian household is complete without it. Coriander leaves came next and now we have quite a beautiful array of fruits and veggies in our backyard, albeit still quite a long way to go.

Food Adventures with the Kids

While I would not call myself very adventurous in terms of food, my husband and son love trying out new things. Before we knew it, we were sampling the likes of crocodile, duck and kangaroo meat that Australia is famous for.  I learnt how making pancakes and scones with butter milk took them to that extra level of yumminess.

The Rogan josh and Butter Chicken are the two most popular Indian curries the Aussies know oh and the chicken tikka of course! Asian cuisine is quite popular in Australia and Malaysian, Thai and Vietnamese food are also sought after.  

Sausage sizzle is the go to rescue for backyard parties. The ‘barbie’ aka the traditional barbecue, a much sought after appliance for an aussie bloke etc. are now words in our repertoire.  My husband is always game and quite a pro at chucking a steak on the barbie and my kids always game for a sizzle if we are out and about.  

Seven years later, and living in Brisbane now we are thankful to this great country for the new outlook it has given us towards food, farming and agriculture.  

Food Changes Caused By Move to Australia #australia #food #palete #cultures #multicultures

 Tina Miranda is an Office administration professional from Brisbane, Australia. Passionate about writing, cooking, travel and music.  A mum to a teenager and tween pigeon pair. Like a lot of other migrant parents she is looking to belong while holding on to traditional values.  To boast of having matured while still remaining the young carefree, blatant and audacious girl at heart, her favourite place to be is still in her parent’s embrace..

For Every Daughter Entering Adulthood

For Every Daughter Entering Adulthood

Every parent wishes their child to be a lot of things. But what happens to a parent’s emotions when their child becomes an adult?
Here is a beautiful poem written by a mother for her daughter as she hits that beautifully adventurous age 21.
Ok, Let’s have that adult-adult talk today.
Have a dream and follow it.
Have a purpose in life and fulfill it.
Have empathy and be empowered!
Do Everything with passion.
Do only what feels right in your heart
When you follow your dreams,
people may laugh at you
Just ignore them and keep going.
Then they start talking behind your back,
Show off and Vested Interest are the weapons they use,
Just overcome those and fly high!
 
 
Never talk behind anyone’s back,
Be truthful to all,
and be straight on their face.
Be open with your feelings to all,
Some may hate you for the time being, but that’s ok,
They may come back to you eventually.
Some may hate you forever, which is ok too,
Because they don’t deserve you anyway.
 
 
Never break anyone’s trust in you,
Always hear both sides of the story.
Value experiences more than money,
The money will come and go,
But the experience you made will stay with you forever!
 
Never trust anyone blindly.
Have friends who inspire you and lift you up!
Set standards, expectations and goals for yourself,
Once you realize who you are, reveal your true self to the world.
Then you look around and see that boy with admiration, respect and love in his eyes for you,
Hey, that is your partner girl! (BTW mom got lucky very early though)
Fly high like a kite and stay grounded at the same time.
 
 
Always remember,
Nothing is the end of the world,
You have always a place to fall back,
Your family is always here for you,
Enjoy life one day at a time.
  Mrs.Menon always exceeds the expectations of an average math teacher. After attaining an MA in Economics, a BS in Math, and a California Certified Teaching Credential, Mrs. Menon has worked various jobs in the educational field. Throughout her career, Raji has branched out from the ordinary roles of a teacher and dedicated her life to not only teach math but to reach out to youth and help each individual become a civilized member of the community. Mrs. Menon is the entrepreneur of her own business, Gurukulam , which derives from a thriving after-school enrichment center, where she teaches math both in-class and online, an active blog (http://rajimenon1.blogspot.com), and a social organization which participates in numerous projects for the less fortunate.

 

 

 Raising World Children Giveaway
A Real Plan to Resist Negative Thinking

A Real Plan to Resist Negative Thinking

 

The world we live in is filled with messages, both positive and negative.  Humans tend to absorb more of the negative messages.

Once we have found ourselves in the trap of negative thinking, we may find ourselves increasingly out of balance and out of alignment with the life we aspire to live.

When we find ourselves in this spiral, we often begin to transfer that negativity to everyone around us, including our children.

In order to stop this cycle, it helps to have a plan in place before it starts.

A simple plan might look something like this:  Be fully present when speaking to each other (eye contact is important);

Make a point to speak lovingly; Minimize all outside influences (electronics); Upon waking, set three positive intentions for the day ahead; Before bed take the time to list three gratitude moments from the day.

This type of plan is a lesson in Mindfulness. 

Simply start by taking an honest inventory of your life and where you can begin to implement subtle, beneficial changes.  This is not a judgement inventory of how you “should be” doing better.  This is a loving, honest look at your real life and how you can add positive moments.

The best foundation for resisting negative thinking is adding a Mindfulness practice to your daily life.  Mindfulness can be incorporated into literally every function of your life from the most mundane tasks all the way to a profound spiritual practice.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin and The Doors of Wellness at http://www.thedoorsofwellness.com on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thedoorsofwellness
5 New Age Parenting Rules that I Follow

5 New Age Parenting Rules that I Follow

Parenting has been changing a lot from generations to generations. The main point is the safety of the children, which is same across the generations. But we, as parents are seeking effective ways to give the best to our children.

This generation parents have the luxury of learning more information about different types of parenting and tips through the internet and also get the advice from previous generations. While a few pieces of advice work or not, we learn a lot on this journey.

Are there any rules to parenting? Enjoy these special ones from Mahathi Ramaya

That’s how this post came into my mind. With my experience, learning from elders, friends and researching through the internet I have adopted some parenting rules. Here are a few:

  1. Being Active With Kids 

Nowadays, parents are as active as kids and are spending more time with them. I think, one of the best gifts that we can give our children is our time and many parents started implementing that. I am always physically active whole day even when I was working and also now when I am a stay at home mom.

I enjoy reading books to them, watching animation movies, making crafts together with kids and taking them to the library and many social events and play dates. Our children have more toys and tools to play with when compared to our generation.

I really appreciate them playing with building blocks/ legos with their imagination knowing no boundaries. I join the fun whenever I can.

Being active with kids and spending more time is beneficial to both me and kids as I get to teach them well while participating in their fun activities. I also get more bonding time with them.

2. Encouraging Imagination

In our childhood, there was much focus on academics. But, in this generation, I feel, there should be more focus on individual thinking, decision making, and imagination. I make it a rule to let my kids explore new things and think creatively. Encouraging imagination will develop creative skills.

Gifting kitchen sets, tool sets, car repair sets, doctor sets are very useful in encouraging their imagination. My kids build anything that they see outside with legos and building blocks like a cable car they saw on their last vacation or a snowmobile they tried once. There is really no limit on what children can imagine and be able to construct them.

Imagination, Parenting
Encouraging Imagination

3. Making Screen time effective

Don’t get me wrong when I say TV is not an idiot box. That was an old saying. But, since we have smart TVs at most of our homes, if used effectively, TV is not that bad. So, instead of restricting screen time, we make it useful. We reduced watching cartoons and started watching documentaries on how cars are made, how things work, how food is made etc.

We also watch travel documentaries to know about different places and cultures. Watching ‘Food Factory’ episodes helped my children to understand that food goes through a lot of processes before coming to our table.

This helped me to teach my kids not to waste food and also to teach them about health benefits of a few food items. Since ours is smart TV, we also watch Youtube channels of science videos for kids and how to videos on crafts and arts.

4. More Outdoor Play

I think this is the parenting rule that I am taking back from our childhood. We used to play at least an hour after school in the evening. Cycling, playing hide and seek, tag, and play, tossing the ball, Biking, skateboarding, swimming etc., – we have a lot of options for outdoor play if weather permits.

This brings children close to their friends and they will know the importance of being gentle and sharing with others. Unfortunately, the weather doesn’t permit all the time here to play outside due to snow and cool conditions. So, We utilize the Spring and summer to maximum to cover up.

5. Not being over-protective

I see that this generation parents are over-protective about their kids. I supervise my kids when they play/ run or do anything, but I don’t run to stop them doing something. I just guide and I am ok if they fail. My responsibility is only to encourage them to keep going and learning from failures but not protecting them completely from failures.

If we are not teaching responsibility to our kids and micromanaging/organizing everything for them ahead, it leads them to failure in the future. Parents might not live long to be with children all the time and so, our responsibility for our children is to make them self-reliant. I feel it is better to make our children aware of the harsh realities of the current world than keeping them safe in a bubble.

What are your new age parenting rules? What rules work for you? Do let me know in comments.

 

 Mahathi Ramaya Raising World Children Mahathi Ramya is a mom of 2 boys, a blogger, software testing professional and a classical dance teacher. She writes on books, travel, and parenting. She loves writing, traveling and painting a lot.

 

 

 

Raising World Children Giveaway

Don't Wait for Another School Shooting Incident

Don’t Wait for Another School Shooting Incident

It’s not surprising to read about atrocities against children in newspapers anymore!

Be it murder, sexual offences, child abuse (both verbal and physical), deaths due food poisoning to random shootings, child offences are on a high rise. What is surprising is that most of these offences are happening in schools! Sad, but true, schools are constantly in news for being the backdrop of some or other criminal activity!

Considered to be a safe haven for children, yet unfortunately the schools are constantly in news for safety breach issues. The safety loopholes in schools are now raising eyebrows not just in every household, but even in the board room of educational policy makers! Good in a way, because this is where the next generation is being built, so action should be taken. After all, aren’t schools supposed to be the safety havens for children after homes?

But unfortunately, as soon as the news dies down, people move on.

If the security and safety lapses continue to happen like the way they have been, then how will the schools instill other values, which they proclaim? All these values of building cognitive ability, curiosity, and holistic learning blah blah will all go down the drain, if the safety and security measures go for a toss!

However, I personally feel that these safety and security measures should be a big deal, not just for schools or other educational institutions, but for even us, the parents.

Take a Stand for Safety

Hence, as parents, unless we question or pinpoint the lapses or the problem areas, the school might not do anything. Hence, questioning or raising concerns should be our duty towards building effective school safety system, as well.

After all, as parents we are the primary ones to be answerable for our own child’s safety and security. For this, if you have to cross that extra mile, of questioning the school and the authorities on safety, then don’t hesitate.

Your questions and voices will ring an alarm somewhere and they might look into their problem areas.

For instance, in India, CBSE schools like Kendriya Vidyalaya, have stepped up security concerns, after the murder of a seven year old boy in a popular school in Gurugram. The hue and cry and series of protests after his death was what fuelled the government to step in and take action regarding the school safety.

The CBSE board, post that incident, issued a safety guideline, forcing all the CBSE schools to follow the norms. In fact, the Kendriya Vidyalaya Sangathan, which is under the ministry of Human Resources, deployed deputy commissioners in their areas, to foresee any laxity in safety procedures.  Right from background checks of the school staff, to upping the CCTV surveillance for detailed monitoring, schools are now trying to focus on the safety and security of the children than ever before.

Even the private schools, owing to the pressure created by similar incidents have all beefed up their security measures! The only trigger was the collective efforts of the voices that came in the aftermath of such incidents. Sometimes, collective efforts and voices are all that bring a difference or rather a new change.

However, the only unfortunate issue is that we often raise concern after we witness such incidents. Let us not wait for such incidents to happen, but question right away, while everything is fine and seemingly smoothly. Talk to kids about school safety and empower them against tragedy.

Our questions act as trigger or rather a deterrent and force authorities to look into their procedures. If not asked, nobody does anything or takes accountability of anything. The rule is the same for individuals as well as organizations, which in turn are also run by several individuals. Hence, do the needful first as a parent and as an individual and then question! Safety and security of children should be everyone’s concern and not just any one.

  A freelance creative writer and blogger for the past 7 years, Malvika Roy SIngh writes about subjects like travel, food, lifestyle, health, interior designing, real estate, digital entertainment, media and marketing, education etc. Her parenting blog helps her be a conscious parent (www.wipmom.com) When she is not writing, she can be found either running or playing with her 4 year old son enjoying time reading. She resides in Hyderabad and can be reached at mroysingh@gmail.com