Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

Hows & Whys of Using YouTube Safely for Kids

Yet another dangerous challenge is doing the rounds on the internet. A mom finds videos on YouTube that tells kids to do harmful things to themselves or others through MOMO Challenge. I have known for quite some time that YouTube if not used in limit has the potential to be very harmful to kids and their mindset. At the end of the day, it is a tool to be wielded by the person holding it. As a gadget or as a weapon.

Using YouTube as a Crutch for Education and Baby Sitting

It happens often with new parents and it was with me also. When he was small, I let my son watch the fun animated videos on YouTube. Keeping him occupied, it was super convenient for me to work around the house or just do my thing. Soon he was watching kids unboxing videos and being adamant that he wants the same toys. He was so attracted to it all!

We observed the change in his behavior just in time, I think. Ask him to stop watching and he would revolt!

We decided to stop giving him the device then. Any videos online were watched only once a week, or as a treat for doing something that we couldn’t get them to do otherwise. Till the day I saw him watching a video on YouTube-Kids where Spiderman and Elsa were pregnant and talking about babies. I went online and found that this was very common where toys would talk about adult topics.

That was the last time we let kids have Youtube in their hands.

From then on, any video would only be streamed on TV and only those that I had researched.

youtube harmful kids safely

Affect of Online Propaganda As Kids Get Older

But it doens’t end there. Even with those videos streamed, the advertising certainly become a bane during shopping as kids request for things that we have never even heard of. It breeds materialism, at such an early age. Instead of advertising to parents, now stores have direct access to little children. Which is why we need to talk to them early about having enough and buying only what we really need.

But it isn’t only toys. The propaganda can go in deep.

One day, we were driving around and my son, then 7, spotted a political poster. He repeated verbatim the negative campaigning we had seen on YouTube before you can skip ad.  We had laughed over how often those ads keep coming up, but it had not occurred to me how much of an impact they were having on my family’s vision of the world we lived in.

Here was my son repeating something he had no idea about, without any proof himself. How horrendous it is to have the whole coming generation blatantly influenced so negatively!


 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful To Kids

Idle Time Consumption

In the  time a child could be creating or discovering the outside or their own thought processes, they are busy consuming content that may or may not be productive towards their growth.

Instant Gratification

YouTube gives you what you want at the click of a button. It gives them a false sense of adrenaline rush to get what they want the moment they want it. Life does not work that way and this is disturbing.

Dangerous Hidden and Not so Hidden Propaganda

As seen with the recent discovery of the MOMO Challenge and earlier when they were showing adult content through kids’ videos, these challenges and trends will keep happening again and again people find ways to influence children in a disgusting or subtle way. Some ways are clearly obvious, others not so much.

Peer Pressure

In a time  when we want them more than ever to be able to stand their ground in the face of external influence, we let them watch videos of advertisements of kids playing video games or unboxing toys or just playing pranks. And of course once, they start looking up to a certain YouTube star, they want to use what they are using and doing.

Unregulated CONTENT

In a time when we should actually be very cautious about what we let our children watch and the age rating of something, instead we let them have a gadget and watch whatever their little hearts lean towards. Which can possibly have anything within. It is so unfortunate though now, that they let free on a platform that is totally unregulated, with videos being uploaded every few minutes.

Distorted Thinking

The constant instant gratification and change in video watching as they scroll through different topics makes kids unable to learn to focus. They learn way more than their little minds can comprehend and that leads to distracted and distorted view of the real world.

Reality TV for Kids

This is my personal peeve since I do not approve of any reality television. Even though most people know it is scripted, to show people in such a vulnerable and bad lighting in the guise of popular television is just sad. It makes us all so cynical of the world view for it is real life but people play games with each other’s emotions for money or fame. And what is YouTube but reality television for children.

Emotional Impact

As I mentioned my personal experience, I could visibly see my son’s behaviour change for the worse and it was clear to me the impact the incessant scrolling was having on him. And I believe that goes a long way to show the impact on any child for the above reasons. When they do not get their fix, they retaliate violently, which only grows.

Eye Strain

Very recently people have come across the harmful effects of screen time. Recently when getting my son glasses, the technician said get the expensive ones that help against gadget use. My answer was that my kids do not use gadgets that much yet.

How to Use YouTube Safely

No Personal Account for Kids

Please do not give little kids their own accounts. Yes, it avoids your personal account being flooded by kids videos but it is totally not needed for kids to feel in ownership for YouTube account. The moment kids feel in charge, they start watching whatever they feel like.

Clear Your Browser History

We are adults who sometimes click on things that are inappropriate. And that leads to YouTube showing videos that are similar in the suggested video section. Make sure to clear your browser history to ensure kids do not end up even watching a thumbnail that is inappropriate.

Make Kids Watch YouTube on TV

Anything they watch should be streamed via television through chormecast, roku, apple etc where everyone can see what is being consumed. Stay close and monitor often what kids are watching.

Make a Playlist

This is tedious but very important for your child’s safetly. Go through every video you plan to let them watch and make an approved playlist of the videos.

Talk to Kids About What to Watch and how to behave online

No matter how safe you be, it could still happen that they go to someone’s house and watch something inappropriate. With my son, I have told him he goes to people’s house to play, not to watch TV or play videos games. So when someone suggests to watch TV, it’s time to go home. Also, I have talked to my son about how important it to to behave appropriately online as it is just like in real life. With cyber bullying rampant, it is so much more important for kids to know early how to be online.

Download Control Apps

Mcafee safe familyDownload this or any other app to keep an eye on what your child is doing online. You can track all your devices. My husband and I have the app in our phones and we can check which sites they are visiting and which videos they are watching on YouTube. You can block the sites from the app too.

Enable YouTube Safety Mode on computers

Go to the bottom of any YouTube page and turn Safety Mode on.  (Learn how).  Safety Mode won’t catch everything – even YouTube acknowledges this – but it will prevent some unsavory content from younger eyes. For example, with Safety Mode turned on you cannot watch the video titled “Call Me Maybe (Dirty Parody)”.  The other nice thing about Safety Mode is that user comments are not immediately visible.  You have to specifically click to view them.  This is my favorite feature of Safety Mode.  Sometimes the video itself is fine, but the comments are rude, mean, and totally inappropriate.

Set a Time or videos Limit

As with everything, moderation needs to be promoted within children to impart self control. Make sure they know not to exceed 20 mins of time or 3 videos or a pre decided limit.

Make Videos a Treat

In my home, video watching on YouTube on television is a treat that they get as a bonus when they achieved something.

Use outdoors, Books and Streaming sources Instead

All the things you find easy to do with YouTube, can just as easily be done with books. The local library and book stores are wonderful resources to provide your child for endless wonderment. All the shows your kids so love are easily available on Prime Video or Netflix or for free on PBS Kids or Disney. Create a love in your child for reading or let them spend time outdoors.

 


Don’t Fall for ” YouTube-Kids is safe “

No matter what, Youtube or any platform that is not controlled by moderators is open for unsafe content being uploaded onto it. In different ways. So make sure you do not give kids access to your gadget or online videos in the false notion that it is  safe.

The only safe way for kids is to be constantly vigilant on what they are consuming, searching for what is appropriate content online and then making sure our children have only limited use.

What tips would you add to this? Comment below and share with other parents.

 

The Many Ways YouTube is Harmful & How to Use it Safely

10 Ways to Thrive Without Technology this Spring Break

10 Ways to Thrive Without Technology this Spring Break

In the United States, many schools have Spring Break during the month of March and April. Around the world, at different times of the year, parents and caregivers support their families and children in transitioning from school to time off and back again. How do we deal with technology on break?

Breaks or holidays can often mean more unstructured time for the whole family. While it’s important for children and teens to experience unstructured play and downtime regularly, the transition from a rigorous school routine to week-long breaks can be challenging for everyone.

When life gets unpredictable or out of sync, anxiety, depression, and technology addiction can spike. As parents, caregivers, and supporters, we can facilitate structure that supports our children and teens in staying happy and healthy through the ebbs and flows of the calendar year.

10 Ways to Thrive this Spring Break

 

Whether you and your family are staying home or traveling during the next school break, this list of 10 strategies with help you and your family stay grounded.

1. Talk about the plan as soon as possible. If there are travel plans, begin discussing months or weeks ahead. Allow everyone to settle into the idea of what the break might look like or feel like. Setting expectations and beginning brainstorming early helps young people imagine the experience. They can work out areas of stress during this time, as well as build anticipation and joy for the upcoming event.

2. Make space for plans to be collaborative. Children and teens thrive when they know that they have agency and voice in their family. Allow them to help plan age-appropriate elements of the week off of school. This includes tasks such as researching online, scheduling with friends or family, selecting activities from a list of parent-approved ideas, and brainstorming places and spaces they would like to explore.  

Technology Break

3. Set specific parameters for technology usage. Your children and teens are always going to have a relationship with technology, and you can support and care for them by helping them make and maintain a healthy relationship. Begin a conversation that allows your child or teen to express their needs, desires, and observations.

4. Find support. If you are working during the break or want to secure adult-only time during a holiday or vacation, plan ahead and find support. It’s okay (and necessary) to take time away from your children and teens, and it’s also perfectly acceptable to ask for help from family, friends, or a childcare specialist.

5. Aim for balance. It is important to give children and teens the time and space to relax and recover from their hectic school schedules. Time for rest and play needs to be a part of the structure you and your family create together. Have a plan, and ensure that the plan includes downtime.

6. Maintain daily routines as much as possible. Even if you are traveling, prioritize routines that support sleep and mealtime, for example. This can be particularly grounding, as the rest of the day or even the environment may be unfamiliar or unstructured.

7. Incorporate physical activity and time outdoors. Include time each day for movement and nature, as weather and location permit. If it’s necessary to stay indoors, explore resources such a GoNoodle or check YouTube for guided yoga practices.  

8. Model the presence you want your children to observe. Take note of your own patterns, routines, and tech-usage. Kindly remind yourself of the behaviors you want to see your children practicing and do your best to model these each day. Aim for growth, not perfection; we are all learning what balance is together!

9. Break stressful tasks into chunks. Use timers and break tough tasks or experiences into more manageable segments. One of my clients struggles with being in the car for longer than 30 minutes. Before his last visit to see his grandparents, we came up with the plan of breaking the drive into five 30-minute segments. Together, we brainstormed a list of five ways he would like to pass time. My client set the timer on his iPad for 30 minutes and got started with his first activity. At the end of this segment, he paused and took some intentional breaths, then selected his next task.

10. Rely on community resources. Always remember that libraries, community centers, and parks offer engaging activities and options for your children and teens. School breaks and holidays can get costly, and rely on community resources that already exist and are made for YOU. Not only will this bring a bit of ease to your checkbook, it will also help your family connect with the greater community, whether you are home or traveling.

These ideas for setting your family up for a balanced, intentional spring break or holiday will be returned to over and over again with each new season. Building family norms and culture is a process always in progress, and I’d like to remind you to be gentle with yourself and your family along the way.

  As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. Stay in touch here: http://courtneyharriscoaching.com/https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/https://www.instagram.com/courtneyharriscoaching/
If you and your tween, teen, or young adult are looking for support as you prepare for Spring Break, let’s chat! As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, I work with clients to co-create systems that bring their family into deeper connection, and I would be honored to support you on the journey
How to help kids be gadget free on any break from school | 10 real ways to thrive without technology this spring break
Disciplining In Times of Online Video Games

Disciplining In Times of Online Video Games

Discipline. Specially in the times of video games and Nintendos is hard. Parental discipline varies throughout the world. What’s the norm for one culture is considered overly harsh in another. A study from 2010 from six different countries showed that the discipline techniques across various cultures tends to be most effective depending on what that area of the world deems as the norm.

With my own children, now 20 and 24, discipline styles differed between their father’s house and my own, my house being much more lax in discipline. Not to say that I didn’t discipline. Quite the opposite. The difference being, my style had strong communication at it’s core.

Personal Journey with Disciplining My Son

I reflect back to a time when my son was 11 and had been playing an online game at his father’s house. Once he got ahead in the game, my son had access to communicate with people from all over the world. I wasn’t happy in this particular phase. But I tried to figure out a way where all of us could be happy.

[bctt tweet=”I had to find a way to instill values in him while making sure I don’t take away his favorite hobby.” username=”contactrwc”]

I gave my son a host of rules and regulations on a handmade ‘contract,’ which he had to sign and agree to follow. I also told him I would be playing the game as well so I could keep up with his conversations with others and keep an eye on the activities.

A silver lining which I didn’t expect, was that it gave the two of us something to talk about. Something we had in common. Where many sons are pulling away from their parents, I was pleased that we were creating a bond and communicating more and not just about the game.

After a couple months of him and his friends playing this online video game, my son came home from his best friend’s house and told me he was unable to sign in to the game. What he didn’t know was that I was able to access a particular area of the game.  This allowed me to see any inappropriate conversations he had with other people in which he had been ‘reported’.

While he stood over my shoulder watching me access this area, he started to get antsy. What I discovered was that he was swearing at strangers and even in one instance, got into a conversation with someone where the topic of girl’s chest were being discussed.

I told him how sad it made me to see that he broke the rules. I told him I was extremely disappointed in the language he had chosen to use. In an effort to defend his stance that he did nothing wrong, he blamed it on his friend playing on his account. I called his bluff and said I would contact his best friend’s mother. I knew that she would want to be informed that her son was using such foul language.

I have to admit, the sheer panic and desperate pleas where almost humorous. I knew perfectly well, this was my son’s own doing. For more than forty five minutes, I simply and firmly expressed my disappointment in his choices. Finally, his shoulders slouched down in defeat and he asked, “Can’t you just spank me and get this over with?”

“No, as a matter of fact, I can’t,” I told him. I made him call his best friend to apologize for his poor behavior and he also was to apologize to his friend’s mom. For using such bad judgement with his inappropriate language, at her house and with her son.

Immediately after disconnecting the call, I turned to see my son was standing there with silent tears rolling down his face. We spoke about the circumstances for a bit more then I sent him to his room after grounding him from the game for for two weeks. I actually changed his password so he was unable to play.

A day or so later, he was laying on the living room floor watching TV. He told me his stomach really hurt. “Are you thinking about what you did?” I asked. He quickly sat up and asked, “How did you know!?”

I sat beside him and expressed my happiness that his stomach hurt. He looked at me with utter confusion. I said, “I’m glad your stomach hurts because that tells me that you now know that you have done something very wrong. If your stomach didn’t hurt, I would be very concerned that you hadn’t learned a lesson here.”

I reached out and hugged him. As I did, I whispered in his ear, “Do you think some ice cream might help your stomach, sweetheart?” The two of us went out to the local ice cream parlor and as we ate, I made sure not to bring up the previous day’s bitterness. The focus was now completely on the lessons he’d learned.

I know I’ve been far from perfect in disciplining my children, but it is these experiences which turned out to be the ones they still remember now that they’re young adults.

Now getting back to the 2010 discipline study, what was found was that in all six of the countries included in the study, the more harsh the type of discipline used in an attempt to correct poor behavior, the more aggression, anxiety and other problematic behavior was left in it’s wake. I feel we can all learn something as we read through this important study.

So no matter what your culture’s norm, try taking a breath. Muting our own reactions to our children’s poor behavior, is said to improve our results. What do you find works during disciplining? Specially, in this digital age.

How To Discipline Kids IN The Times of VIdeo/Online Games www.raisingworldchildren.com #onlinegames #videogames #discipline #parenting

Janie Saylor is a professional certified coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. Being the mom of a recovering addict and an advocate for addiction and recovery, also brings a new dimension into Janie’s writings and life experiences. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. You can contact her at LifeCoachJane@gmail.com >