June 11, 2019 - Raising World Children

The Beauty of Recognizing Our Mistakes as Parents

To say that my son is a perfectionist would be a huge understatement. He does not like making mistakes. And the idea of doing something wrong paralyzes him so much that he won’t even try something unless he knows that he can do it.

So I do what every mom is supposed to do, keep reminding him that it’s OK to make mistakes and that learning from our mistakes helps us all grow our brain power.

On one such day of advice-giving, he looks up at me and says, “If I make a mistake, you get angry.” That was the day that I realized that his extreme reactions came from my unrealistic expectations.

That was also the day I understood that Moms can and often make mistakes.

Observe Yourself

So I started observing my behavior around my son. Every time he made a mistake, frown lines would appear on my face as if by magic. If the mistakes continued despite repeated instructions, my soft voice got louder. In a few days, I observed myself losing control more often than I would have liked. It felt as if someone else resided in me and she would take charge every once in a while.

Then, I had to follow up with the real work of catching myself while making those mistakes. It is so much easier to catch something once it has already been done. After-all, hindsight is always 20/20. The real challenge was to identify it right before it started.

So, every time that I felt I was losing control, I would count to ten, or start chanting Om. I also kept reminding myself that I was dealing with another human being, a little one who had his own share of feelings and emotions. And the little child’s expressions as he looked at my face was a bit too much to bear.

Shift Your Perspective

It took all my positive spirit to make myself understand that making mistakes was not the end of the world. I kept reminding myself and forgiving myself every time I lost control of my emotions. It took quite a bit of self-talk to come to terms with this side of me.

I even compared myself to the great Kramer in one episode of Seinfeld, where he decides not to talk. The guy would start talking and then in the middle of his speech, remember his oath, and state, “And it starts now!” That became my catch-phrase, my new mantra …It starts now!

But the most important thing that I did was to make a point of sharing with my son that getting angry over making mistakes was a huge blunder in itself. He had a huge grin on his face when he understood that I was the one in trouble for a change and that he got to “forgive” me.

And they live happily-ever-after

The day finally came, when both of our hard work gave us some tangible result. My son and I were singing a song at a pitch of G sharp.

As the song progressed, my son shook his head from time to time, even as he continued to sing. By the end of the song, I caught on to the fact that we were both singing in different pitches. I had gone down to F sharp which was not how we started the song.

I knew that all my efforts to teach him the value of making mistakes were not wasted when my little one waited for the song to get over, each of us singing in different pitches, and then exclaimed, “Mom you made a mistake … but that’s alright, you still sang well!”

Change in our children begins with us.

<br />

Raising Responsible Citizens – The Need Today for Collective Reform

The world’s largest democracy India, recently underwent the process of electing their new government and thus, political debates seem to be the favorite past-time of the season. We have all become way too familiar with terms like Liberals, Conservatives, Nationalists, Socialists, Right Wing, Left Wing, etc. Most developed countries are undergoing elections or are in a transition-phase. It is more important now than ever that we focus on raising responsible citizens.

Unfortunately, the system of gaining votes by banishing the opposition, ridiculing women and name-calling is what makes these developed countries seem to be on the contrary.

Development doesn’t necessarily only represent a huge infrastructure, tall buildings, swanky metros, huge shopping malls, big universities and out-of-the-world touristic hotspots.

Development of a nation needs to start at a grass-root level, with each individual.

Development begins in the mind first. Development lies in humanity, and is reflected in compassion, empathy and acceptance. If most so-called ‘developed countries’ had to go by these parameters of development, they would come out to be as the most under-developed nations. Unfortunately, we seem to have lost humanity and empathy for our fellow citizens, on a national and global level.

Collective Reform on the “Me First” Attitude

Unfortunately, this is where our system has failed us. Instead of making us think at a community level, each one of us is busy thinking at an individual level. Personal gains and benefits is what seem to matter the most.

Believe it or not, this ‘Me First’ thinking needs to be uprooted, for the betterment of our society. For it begins at our homes, where we teach our kids to look out for themselves first before others.

This thinking is further fueled by competitiveness at school and eventually turns into a mentality, which is very hard to break free from. And by the time we are done with school and college and ready to take up a job, we are told that now we will know about how hard and cruel this world is. Do we even realize that we are training ourselves to become that ‘hard and cruel’ part that we are always warned about?

We tend to begin most new phases of our lives with sheer competitiveness and selfishness. Competition over GPA, over who is getting more perks at work, over whose baby begins walking first, over whose food tastes betters and the list can go on.

Why can’t we just celebrate these milestones and achievements without comparing it to someone else? Why can’t we just take pride in that moment and be grateful for what we have achieved? Why do we have to out-do someone else or put someone down to make ourselves feel better? Does self-worth always have to come at someone else’s expense?

What was once just a thought process then gets imbibed into us and becomes a mentality. This eccentric mentality then lives with us forever and very few people are fortunate enough to break away from it. We get so used to thriving on others failures that we forget to cherish our own joys. And this is exactly what is happening all around us and this is why we see a huge rise in relationship instability, financial instability, depression, anxiety, bullying, substance abuse and other social and mental problems.

Raising Responsible Citizens

We need to start with mentoring the younger generation to uplift each other and look out for one another. A few ways how we can train our children to become more compassionate towards others are:-

Sharing is Caring

As toddlers and pre-schoolers, we need to emphasize to our little ones the importance of sharing and what better way to start than by sharing toys. This may be extremely hard for the child but eventually he/she will be able to shake off this feeling.

Children should be taught to share with their friends and classmates at school. Water, snacks, school supplies or notes…what they share doesn’t matter. What matters is that they don’t hold on to things only for themselves and open up their hands (and hearts) to others.

The one thing every child can never have enough of is toys. So if your child insists on hoarding toys, teach him/her to give away one old toy for every new one they get. They can give it away in charity or give it to a friend. The emphasis here should be on sharing and NOT on parting away with something.

Fiscal Responsibility

If you give your child pocket money, ensure to also educate them about budgeting, saving and caring. Teach them to spend within their limit, to save some for later and to give a part of it towards charity. This way we are training them to grow up to become responsible and compassionate adults. Allow them to give some charity themselves to the homeless, less fortunate, community helpers, etc.

Be a Helping Hand

Every now and then, send some food to your neighbors and ask your children to give it to them. This is one of the best ways for a child to learn how to share first-hand.

While trying to raise our kids well and teach them empathy, we are in turn bettering ourselves too. Every act of teaching someone to be good OR do a good deed is in fact a starting point for us, towards improving ourselves. And anything done habitually can turn a thought into a thought-process. So why not make it a POSITIVE one!

Activism

It is so important to teach our kids early to speak up about what needs to be better. Don’t forget to read these 20 ways to inspire kids by showing up every day with little acts of activism. It is the little things, that make a big difference as a collective.

Read Books

Before building and developing the infrastructure and economy of a country, we need to start developing its’ citizens first.

And the best way to go forth is by focusing on building character. Tolerance, acceptance, compassion, respect, humanity, empathy are just to name a few of the characteristics that need to be imbibed into people.

For this is where, the true success of development lies!

You can find more easy activities you can do at home with your kids here.

<br />

Timeless Travel Tips for Every Family’s Ideal Vacation

Traveling as a family is both a joy and a challenge; parents may find it difficult to find a balance between their interests and their children’s. Locations that were once considered exotic are now impractical.

Don’t worry. You can still travel the world and experience what life has to offer with kids in tow, and the journey can be all-the-more magical as you get to see amazing new places through their eyes.

Before you start to travel overseas as a family, here are four tips to help make the voyage easier.

1. Arrange Travel Before You Leave

Airplane tickets are just the beginning. How do you plan to leave the airport when you arrive at your destination? You may think it’s as simple as hailing a cab, but after a long flight, finding good transport to your hotel can be overwhelming.

Instead, look up the airport you’ll be flying into and read about their transportation options. If cabs are always waiting, then you’re good to go. If you have to call out for one, get the number and have it ready before you go. You may even want to call a car service and have a ride waiting to take you to your destination. For larger groups, a maxi taxi can be a great option.

2. Pack Extra Essentials

Bring more underwear, socks and t-shirts than you’ll need. These are light-weight items that you can’t go without. Kids are more prone to lose or soil their garments, and you don’t want to be running around a foreign city trying to find new clothes at the last minute.

You should also save time at the baggage claim by combining belongings into one or two large suitcases, as opposed to every family member carrying their own half-full checked bag.

3. Accommodate Dietary Restrictions

Make sure that you research the cuisine of your destinations for those who are gluten or lactose-intolerant or have food allergies. Find restaurants in the vicinity of your hotel that offer food you can trust. You don’t want to arrive at a destination only to realize you can’t eat 95-percent of its cuisine.

4. Build an Itinerary

Wandering aimlessly is fun when you’re a lone traveler or backpacking couple, but families are better off planning an itinerary. Book guided walking tours that will allow you to take in each location’s landmarks while learning something interesting. Avoid getting lost or having the kids complain of boredom by including plenty of fun activities and excursions, from hang-gliding to horseback riding.

Planning as a Family

Even preschoolers can get involved with organizing the next family vacation. Research different locations together, and explore walking tours and sightseeing videos on YouTube. The best trips you take together will be ones that you’re all equally excited about.

Read here our tips for traveling with teens.

With the whole family on-board, even a one-hour road trip to the next town over can be a great time.

Lizzie Weakley is a freelance writer from Columbus, Ohio. In her free time, she enjoys the outdoors and walks in the park with her three-year-old husky, Snowball.