My Kids Do Not Get Paid for Doing “Chores”

I realize the world chore has become one that creates confusion these days. Kids crib about helping around the house and yet crib about it, expecting some kind of payback.  I often see adults also lamenting about doing chores. There seems to be an inherent loss in taking pleasure in doing simple things that feed the soul. And why in the world are kids expected to be paid for helping around their own house?!!!

To that end, we stopped using the word “Chores” in my home. Lest my kids expect to be reimbursed for their efforts.

Instead, now I say, “Please help me out by …” or “Please, do …” and reminding them time and again to do the same with patience and perseverance. And that we are a family and this is THEIR home.

https://raisingworldchildren.com/2020/01/20/dads-provide-value-dinner-table/

By doing this I have taught my kids to realize – 

They Are Not Doing Chores but Helping

Moms and dads are human and need help too. Doing laundry, loading the dish washer, making your bed, de-cluttering or organizing is Not a favor being done for the parents. We are a family and everyone should pitch in. One contributes depending on the need of the hour. Sometimes, I need help to get the living room clutter free before guests come urgently. Other times, I’m sick and need something done that they don’t usually do.

They Learn to Co-operate

When house work is not allowance based, the kids try to find ways to word together to get things done quicker. One changes the clothes from washer to dryer while other moves the clothes from dryer to the room.

We Need to Be Self Motivated

It is their home. They need to feel proud of the house in which they live, grow and have friends over. No job is small or big. Every single thing you do towards grooming, cleaning or helping out carries value in itself. There is much to be said about a home that is welcoming. Appreciation should come from within for what you do.

Doing It Right The First Time is An Art

When it is not monetary, the kids want to get done and QUICK! After all, play time is at stake. Plus, if my kids are grumpy about helping out around the house or they do a job badly just for the sake of it, they not only have to redo it, they have to do something else too. This is one really important aspect that has helped me a lot. This gives them an incentive to do it right the first time!

Helping Need Not Be but Can Be Fun

Let’s face it! These ‘how do I get chores to be fun?’ or “paying kids for chores” is unhealthy. You are not going to find treats or stickers when cleaning up as a adult. There will be no point system or compensation for what you do for your home or at your work. Life is hard. Kids need to know that doing your job need not be, but can be made fun by themselves.

• Finding two pairs of socks or jumping in a just washed pile of laundry is fun.
• Talking to each other when emptying and loading the dishwasher is fruitful.
• Helping your mom out by running as fast as you can to get the diaper for the baby can be fun.

Finding the silver lining in the mundane is a beautiful characteristic to develop.

Consistency is Key To Life Skills

All things that need doing are not life altering but they carry within them the key to basic life skills. By contributing towards work around the home kids learn that consistency is key to organizing. If you want something to be done right or neatly, you have to do it every day, week or month. That dedication is a core life quality.

In order to grow up into individuals providing value to society they need to know that not every task is going to be compensated for.

Work around the house is valuable and needs doing. It builds character, empathy and many more life skills. And taking care of your home is a matter of building character not bank balance.

How does allowance and chores work in your home?