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As a parent or caregiver of a child, you never want to see your little ones hurting. It’s hard to see kids experience struggles. You might want to protect them from every hardship life has to offer. However, not only is it impossible, but it could also hinder them more than help them.
There are common childhood medical issues, like losing teeth or getting chicken pox, and then there are more complex emotional traumas, like dealing with the grief that comes with the loss of a family pet or having a first fight with a close friend. All of these adverse experiences can be turned into learning opportunities.
These events are undoubtedly difficult in the moment. However, teaching your kids to turn these negative moments into learning opportunities will make them more resilient as they get older. They’ll be able to “bounce back” faster from the hardships in their lives, and they have the opportunity to become more capable individuals.
There are several ways you can help your child navigate through these moments. Teach yourself now how to teach them to overcome adversity with love, grace, strength, self-empathy, and awareness.
Overcoming Negative Medical Experiences
Kids can end up seeing a doctor or even visiting an emergency room for a variety of reasons. From dental issues to broken bones, it’s not uncommon for kids to have medical issues that require professional care.
However, it’s easy for kids to be afraid when it comes to medical care. If that isn’t dealt with early on, it could eventually lead to medical anxiety. Some of the symptoms of medical anxiety include:
- Racing heart;
- Sweating;
- Dizziness;
- Thinking something bad will happen;
- Wanting to skip doctor’s appointments.
Maybe your child has had a negative experience with medical care in the past. They might even fear the unknown or conditions they don’t fully understand, like head lice. After all, no child or parent wants to think about little bugs crawling around in their hair. As a parent, learning about lice can be equally as grotesque and anxiety-inducing. However, you should model positive behaviors to get your child through a tough time like this.
In general, you can harness the stress of procedures and check-ups into ways to help them calm down, understand themselves, and better their health. Teach your children about valuing their bodies and their well-being. Give them coping methods to deal with feeling scared before a doctor visit. You’ll also teach them a lot about self-advocacy and how to vouch for their feelings with doctors and other medical professionals as they grow up.
Fighting With Friends
Almost every child comes home from school at some point, upset that they got into an argument with a close friend. As an adult, you can understand the fickleness of young relationships. As a child, however, a fight with a friend can feel like the “end of the world.” It can make your child feel alone, isolated, and misunderstood.
Although it might be painful for them, you can turn this negative situation into a learning experience by offering support and acknowledging the validity of their feelings. Set a positive example by staying calm and using productive words when you choose to work through a disagreement. Your child will be likely to do the same when approaching others in the future, which can keep arguments from escalating.
Let them tell you about the fight, and make sure they know you’re listening and understanding. While it might be tempting to step in and try to fix things, resist that urge unless it’s absolutely necessary. By setting a positive example, validating their feelings, and offering supportive advice, you’ll teach your child how to work through arguments with friends in healthy, effective ways.
Dealing With Loss
Dealing with loss is difficult for everyone. Grief impacts people differently, so it’s important to make sure your kids understand loss and how to work through the grieving process.
Whether the child is dealing with the loss of a pet, the death of a loved one, or even watching their parents go through a divorce, kids need to know how to fully understand their grieving.
Far too many adults use unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through a loss. Teaching your kids healthy ways to cope will help them build resilience through adulthood. There are several strategies you can use to help your child cope with grief, including:
- Keeping consistent routines to make them comfortable;
- Offering them love and attention;
- Letting go of your own expectations;
- Modeling healthy emotions;
- Finding positive grief outlets, including play;
- Relieving them of guilt.
You can even turn to outside resources if your child is struggling to accept a certain loss. Child counselors, therapists, or support group leaders can help you and your child work on different coping strategies and stress-reduction techniques, including how to teach kids mindfulness and meditation.
As much as you might want to at times, you can’t keep your children in a bubble. It’s important to protect them and do what you can to keep them safe while still allowing them to experience what the world has to offer – including adverse moments.
Keep these ideas in mind to teach your kids how to turn those adverse moments into something better. The more you focus on these learning opportunities now, the easier it will be for your children to be stronger, empathetic, and self-aware as adults.
