This Mother's Day Do Not Forget These Mothers

This Mother’s Day Do Not Forget These Mothers

Mothers Day is coming soon…

A day to celebrate mothers.
A day to acknowledge their contribution in our lives.
A day for mothers to bask in the care and affection of the family.
A day for children to show their love.
A lot of thought, effort and time goes into making the day special..

But what of the mom who has lost her child?
What of the mother who is grieving for the child and the future that they lost?
What of the mother who does not have a child to shower their love on her?
What of the bereaved mother or Vilomah (Sanskrit word for bereaved parents)

The mother who carried her child within her for days and then had to let them go
The mother who built dreams around her child, which came crashing down
The mother who lost the love of her life through no fault of her own
The mother who has lost her reason to live and happiness seems a distant memory

 

She eagerly awaits the phone calls that no longer come
The frequent text messages and funny videos that don’t come too
She relives the long walks, the long talks, the Sunday brunches, the midweek lunches
The surprise flowers, her favorite chocolates and special gifts

The denial, the guilt, the pain, the sorrow, the anger, the memories
Don’t really go away with the passage of time
People stop talking about the child and want you to snap out of it
That you have got to get out of this zone

Does a person want to be in a perpetual circle of sorrow and grief?
Does a person want to continue to mourn unendingly?
Does a person want to forget a vital part of their very soul and being?
The mother is just crying out in silent screams
She is just wanting for her love to be talked about
She just wants the assurance that you will not forget her child
The length of their journey on earth doesn’t matter.. She misses them dearly.. 

She had promised that she would protect and keep the child safe
She had promised that she would raise them up to the best of her ability
She had promised that she will weave a perfect family and a perfect future..


The broken promises cry out to her.
The silent nursery / room screeches in her ears.
The beautiful face is a constant wallpaper in her mind.
Her empty arms are not able to reach out to her child .
The loneliness is stifling her more and more each day.

This first Sunday of May, do say a little prayer for the bereaved moms
On International Bereaved Mothers Day, touch the life of just one Vilomah
Just be there for her, just lend a ear, just talk to her and let her talk..
That’s all she wants, that’s all she ever wanted..
For her child to be remembered and not forgotten and their memories honored… 

The world may not recognize her as a mother.
As her child is no longer here with her.
She may be broken but trying to put back together the pieces
She is still a mother at heart, in her mind and in her soul
Celebrate the day, celebrate her motherhood, celebrate her, celebrate her child..
She is a mother too…

International Bereaved Mother's Day

 

Learn more about International Bereavement Mother’s Day here.

20 Steps Towards Finding Calm Within Self & Family

20 Steps Towards Finding Calm Within Self & Family

Have you taken a moment to be with yourself today? Life seems to move pretty quickly these days. Many parents share with me that they are constantly overwhelmed between texts, emails, school functions, extracurricular activities, and trying to have a personal life! As parents and caregivers, you are navigating many tasks and many roles. (Your kids and teens are too!) Through it all, you likely have a strong desire to be calm parents. Furthermore, you want to be grounded and feel a sense of stability and ease within your family.

I invite you to Stop. Breathe. Feel.

How is this landing with you? You might consider the number of transitions you’ve endured today. What are the various roles you’ve filled today?

Notice the quality of these considerations.

Calming practices connect us to our breath, our body, and the moment, are crucial.

The Power of Calming Exercises

Courtney Harris

Thu, May 2, 10:47 AM (22 hours ago)
to Aditi
INTRO PARAGRAPH CHANGED:
Have you taken a moment to be with yourself today? Life seems to move pretty quickly these days. Many parents share with me that they are constantly overwhelmed between texts, emails, school functions, extracurriculars, and trying to have a personal life! As parents and caregivers, you are navigating many tasks and many roles. (Your kids and teens are too!) Through it all, you likely have a strong desire to be calm parents. Furthermore, you want to be grounded and feel a sense of stability and ease within your family.
THE POWER OF CALMING EXERCISES CHANGED:
Energy is transferable. That said, think of the last time a family conflict occurred.
Stop. Breathe. Feel. What sensations or words or images are bubbling up?
Science helps us understand that Once one family member escalates, it’s likely that everyone else in the room will escalate. Likewise, if one family member can stay grounded, it’s more likely that everyone else in the room will stay calm too.
 
I invite you to become familiar with your body’s unique signs in various states, including calm and activated. As you model this awareness and talk about it, you will support your kids and family in growing their emotional awareness as well.
 
Again, life is busy and there’s so much that’s outside of our control. This said, you have the power and responsibility to care for yourself in ways that help you feel calm and grounded. If you are experiencing any of the following sensations, you have an opportunity to practice grounding self-care:
  • Lack of focus
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Racing thoughts
  • Being easily distracted
  • Anxiety or worry
Calming exercises can be used preventatively, especially as we become more familiar with our body’s signs and signals of stress or disease. Yes, they can help when things are beginning to escalate or when we feel overwhelmed; AND, the practices themselves can aid in preventing escalation to begin with. These practices are for both consistent and emergency self-care.


Exercises for Self-Care as a Parent

20 Steps Towards Finding Calm Within Self & Family

  1. Stand barefooted on the Earth. Grass, dirt, and riverbeds are great, and if only rocks or asphalt are available, this works too!
  2. Hula hoop OR do the movement of hula hooping, keeping your feet rooted to the Earth and circling your hips in a way that feels soothing or stretchy.
  3. Do a set of lunges and squats. Work until your leg muscles feel awake, alert, and heavy.
  4. Take a slow, mindful walk. Notice each step.
  5. Lay down on the ground. Rather than a bed or a couch, try laying on the firm ground. Bonus: lay down outside on the Earth!
  6. Hold rocks, stones, or crystals in your hands. Alternatively, lay down and place the stones on your body in places that feel supportive for you. (I like to put stones on my thighs, belly, chest, and forehead.)
  7. Stomp your feet while reciting a mantra or affirmation. For example, “I am steady and strong.” (Bonus: Do this barefooted and outside!)
  8. Hug a tree. Really. Feel how strong and sturdy they are.
  9. Wherever you are, notice your feet. Pay attention to how they feel and what surfaces they are touching and how they are supporting you.
  10. Spend time gardening or doing yard work.
  11. Lay down with extra blankets on your torso. Weighted blankets can be one of the many useful tools for helpful for better sleep.
  12. Sit or picnic in a park or garden or forest. Let yourself be surrounded by nature.
  13. Notice your breath. No need to alter or change it, just follow up.
  14. Eat a meal that includes root vegetables
  15. Take a sensory journey. Notice what you are seeing, feeling, touching, hearing, and tasting. Take time to inventory and/or engage with your surroundings.
  16. Practice self-massage or Abhyanga or schedule a massage with a therapist.
  17. Try a rooting or grounding meditation on YouTube.
  18. Open windows (or at least blinds and curtains) so that you can see and connect with the elements outside. Natural light can be grounding and energizing.
  19. Get a pedicure or give yourself one. Give attention and love to the roots of your body!
  20. Use sandbags to lay across your body as you rest, meditate, or relax.


 

How to Use These As a Family

 

Some families I work with integrate select practices into their weekly routines. Other families use this list as a menu that can be consulted at family meetings, during downtime, or even in the beginning stages of a miscommunication or challenging moment.

In fact, the more familiar you and your family become with calming practices, the more likely you will all be to access them as self-care maintenance. At first, these might be a bit more reactionary. You might find yourself using them when you are already overwhelmed or frazzled and anxious. I encourage you to stay patient, though, because as the word practice implies, you will become more comfortable over time and will create easier access to the strategies that soothe, calm,  and steady you.

As you dig into these practices, you may also find yourself (and your child)  noticing what best supports you. Together, you and your family can build individual support system maps to document the people, places, and things that bring you the most comfort and calm.

This article was first published https://courtneyharriscoaching.com/2018/12/04/20-ways-to-be-a-calm-grounded-parent/

Where to Turn When Your Child is Diagnosed with Down Syndrome

Where to Turn When Your Child is Diagnosed with Down Syndrome

If a doctor has just given your child a diagnosis of Down Syndrome, you’re likely experiencing a huge range of emotions. Children with Down Syndrome, of course, are a blessing to any household, but just getting started in terms of organizing care and financing can be overwhelming. However, there is a vast community available that has resources ready to help you get the information, care, and financial aid you need to give your child everything they need. Here are just four major resources available to parents of children with Down Syndrome that you can tap into.

The National Down Syndrome Society

The National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) is one of the most comprehensive resources at your disposal in terms of finding support. It works with hundreds of affiliates to provide you with easy access to local support groups or online forums where you can chat with people all around the world who might be experiencing feelings similar to yours. If you want to find other parents that can understand what you might be going through, the NDSS is a great place to start. Through this organization, you can also gain valuable tips on how to handle various common symptoms involved with Down Syndrome, find social groups that you and your child can join, and learn more about what medical complications to expect and prepare for along the way.


Explore Financial Plans

Living with a disability or caring for one or more children that have Down Syndrome can be expensive, but it doesn’t have to be financially overwhelming. Several organizations can work with you to develop financial plans and provide you with medical insurance to promote a high standard of care. You can work with an NDIS plan management specialist to ensure that you are financially covered for any conditions related to your child’s disability that may arise. Many organizations that can help with NDIS plans are nonprofit and are dedicated solely to supporting you and your child through your medical needs.

Get Help with Skills

There are ways you can help your child with Down Syndrome improve both motor and communications skills. Several guides offer tips and strategies for helping your child to work on fine and gross motor skills as they grow and learn new things. You can choose educational materials in easy-to-digest book or video formats for your convenience. Children with Down Syndrome often communicate with you in their own ways. You can learn how to understand those ways and meet your child’s needs. The National Association for Down Syndrome (NADS) has a variety of resources to explore in this area and can provide specialized programs for helping your child in their motor skill and communication development.

Consult a Child Psychiatrist

Many psychiatrists work exclusively with children and understand how young, developing minds work. Some of these professionals specialize in children that are not neuro-typical and have developed strategies to help those children succeed. These professionals can also help you better understand your own coping mechanisms and the next steps you can take. Child psychiatrists are also great in coordinating various forms of treatment, prescribing medications, exercises, and activities that can help your child reach their fullest potential. Having a professional that specializes in Down Syndrome is especially beneficial, and they will be able to give you greater insight into what you can do to support your child’s development and growth.

Any medical diagnosis that affects the life of your child can be a scary thing. However, you are not entirely on your own when it comes to caring for and nurturing your child with Down Syndrome. Don’t be afraid to reach out of the financial and emotional support that you need. Modern medicine and understanding of Down Syndrome has increased spectacularly over the years, making it easier for parents like you to get the support you need for you and your child.