As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your child succeed, both now and in the future. Though you can’t ace their first job interview for them when that day comes, you can build skills now that will benefit them in their future career. Skills that promote future career growth are simple yet powerful.
Adding to the usefulness of this process is that skills that are useful in the job world are skills that help your children succeed today, no matter what age they are. Here are a few skills that you can focus on to help your child be their very best.
Patience
No matter what type of company your child works for, they are going to have to interact with at least a handful of people. When they do so, some degree of patience will likely be required. Patience is something that can’t be switched on overnight. Instead, it must be taught over many years to give time and space to practice and fail at being patient. A byproduct of teaching the importance of patience is teaching the importance of delayed gratification, another crucial business skill.
Problem-Solving
Even if your child is advanced for their age, when they begin a career, they will not know everything there is to know about that job. They will likely run across many situations they’ve never encountered before, requiring problem-solving skills to ensure their success. Problem-solving can be taught in a variety of ways, such as through online chess lessons, building with construction blocks, doing crossword puzzles, and a variety of other simple, fun tasks that teach children how to figure things out for themselves.
Hopefully, when your child begins a career, they won’t be content to settle for the position they start in. One way to encourage this ambitious behavior is to develop goal-setting skills in your child when they are young. For example, you can have your child set a goal to save a certain amount of money to buy a toy or set a goal of improving their grade in a class they don’t enjoy. This process of working toward something long-term will help them to have determination and staying power as they work to move up in their career field.
Promptness
With so many distractions facing your child, one of the best gifts you can give them is the skill of promptness. If your child works to complete tasks in a timely manner and keeps track of when they should show up to various events, it will instill in them the importance of promptness and help protect against procrastination. In the business world, promptness is crucial to keeping a job, and a lack of procrastination will help them stand out from a world of constantly distracted co-workers.
Though it can be tempting to try and steer your child toward a specific career that you know is lucrative, your most important job as a parent is simply to teach them the skills they need to be successful in any career. Don’t unnecessarily narrow the focus of your child, which could prevent them from discovering their true passion where they will truly blossom. Any career can be lucrative if your child puts into practice the skills you have taught them.
Successfully preparing your child for college can often be a challenging process. It can even be difficult to know where to start. Luckily, there are a few tips you might want to consider in order to get a jump start and to help secure your child’s future. For example, you might want to look into sending them to reputable schools.
This can ensure that they maintain good attendance and grades, help prepare them for college entry exams, and encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities. Each of these things will look good on a college application and can help to ensure that they get into the college of their dreams.
Enrolling Your Child in Reputable Schools
The type of education your child receives before applying to college can sometimes make a huge difference in their acceptance rate. Often, many parents who are on a budget may not be able to afford the private schools. You may be able to apply for grants and scholarships in order to cover the costs depending on eligibility. This is definitely worth looking into, and the extra research may really pay off.
Ensuring Your Child Maintains Their Grades and Attendance
Good grades and attendance are another important part of getting into the best colleges. Therefore, you should ensure that your child is studying, keeping up with the material, and only missing school when it is necessary. You might also want to look into hiring a tutor or enrolling your child in after-school programs. This can help ensure they are learning as much as possible and that they properly prepare for college.
Prepare Them for College Entrance Exams
College entrance exams, such as the ACTs, can impact what type of schools your child is able to attend. Therefore, you will want to make sure they prepare for these tests. This can be achieved by keeping track of their academic progress and by finding extra help for them if needed. For example, you might want to find helpful study guides or encourage them to attend a college prep high school.
Encouraging Extracurricular Activities
Many students applying to college will have good grades and attendance. Therefore, encouraging your child to participate in extracurricular activities might help to set them apart. Many colleges prefer students who are well-rounded. This can be achieved by encouraging your child to participate in activities, such as music, debate, sports, and volunteer work.
Overall, it will sometimes require a lot of effort in order to ensure that you are doing your part as a parent to invest in your child’s future. Many parents are not as engaged in their child’s education as they should be. If you take the extra time to do some research and find out what colleges are really looking for, this can give your child a better opportunity to succeed in the future.
I realize the world chore has become one that creates confusion these days. Kids crib about helping around the house and yet crib about it, expecting some kind of payback. I often see adults also lamenting about doing chores. There seems to be an inherent loss in taking pleasure in doing simple things that feed the soul. And why in the world are kids expected to be paid for helping around their own house?!!!
No one paid me for helping around the house. Admittedly, I didn’t do much but still, this concept of being paid for chores is so foreign in our Indian household. There is a huge misconception that kids in American households are paid for helping with simple tasks but the truth is most get paid for extra chores, i.e harder jobs like raking leaves, weeding, deep cleaning etc. not taking out the trash!
To that end, we stopped using the word “Chores” in my home. Lest my kids expect to be reimbursed for their efforts.
Instead, now I say, “Please help me out by …” or “Please, do …” and reminding them time and again to do the same with patience and perseverance. And that we are a family and this is THEIR home.
Moms and dads are human and need help too. Doing laundry, loading the dish washer, making your bed, de-cluttering or organizing is Not a favor being done for the parents. We are a family and everyone should pitch in. One contributes depending on the need of the hour. Sometimes, I need help to get the living room clutter free before guests come urgently. Other times, I’m sick and need something done that they don’t usually do.
They Learn to Co-operate
When house work is not allowance based, the kids try to find ways to word together to get things done quicker. One changes the clothes from washer to dryer while other moves the clothes from dryer to the room.
We Need to Be Self Motivated
It is their home. They need to feel proud of the house in which they live, grow and have friends over. No job is small or big. Every single thing you do towards grooming, cleaning or helping out carries value in itself. There is much to be said about a home that is welcoming. Appreciation should come from within for what you do.
Doing It Right The First Time is An Art
When it is not monetary, the kids want to get done and QUICK! After all, play time is at stake. Plus, if my kids are grumpy about helping out around the house or they do a job badly just for the sake of it, they not only have to redo it, they have to do something else too. This is one really important aspect that has helped me a lot. This gives them an incentive to do it right the first time!
Helping Need Not Be but Can Be Fun
Let’s face it! These ‘how do I get chores to be fun?’ or “paying kids for chores” is unhealthy. You are not going to find treats or stickers when cleaning up as a adult. There will be no point system or compensation for what you do for your home or at your work. Life is hard. Kids need to know that doing your job need not be, but can be made fun by themselves.
Finding two pairs of socks or jumping in a just washed pile of laundry is fun.
Talking to each other when emptying and loading the dishwasher is fruitful.
Helping your mom out by running as fast as you can to get the diaper for the baby can be fun.
Finding the silver lining in the mundane is a beautiful characteristic to develop.
Consistency is Key To Life Skills
All things that need doing are not life altering but they carry within them the key to basic life skills. By contributing towards work around the home kids learn that consistency is key to organizing. If you want something to be done right or neatly, you have to do it every day, week or month. That dedication is a core life quality.
In order to grow up into individuals providing value to society they need to know that not every task is going to be compensated for.
Work around the house is valuable and needs doing. It builds character, empathy and many more life skills. And taking care of your home is a matter of building character not bank balance.
You are going to be surprised how many of us are overcoming daily anxiety. I clearly remember the first time that I got behind the steering wheel of a car. I felt two kinds of contrasting emotions stirring within me. I felt a sense of power and an incredibly debilitating sense of fear, at the thought of all that power.
One wrong move and the car would crash and along with it, all my hopes of healthy living might crash too. Unfortunately, that day, I gave more attention to the second feeling, completely setting aside all other rational thoughts.
So, from that day on, every time I sat on the driver’s seat of a car, I let that hopeless feeling take control of me. So, the whole time, I was learning to drive, I would imagine me and my car in all kind of disaster scenarios. It was like watching a movie in my head, except it didn’t seem fictional.
I was the hero of the movie and I was also the villain, as I crashed the car in to some ditch or a tree or some other car and did nothing but destroy, just like any classic bad guy would do.
The big change
And then I got married and came down to USA, a land where life threw me in front of my biggest challenge. There was no way out, and I had to drive here, especially if I didn’t want to be stuck in my home for the rest of my life. So, I got behind the wheels again, accompanied by all my fears, fast-beating heart, panic attacks and so on and so forth. Every night, I would think of various excuses, to use on my husband, as to why I couldn’t come out for driving practice the next day. I could pretend to be sick. I could just say that I’m extremely tired, from having spent the whole day at home. I could just tell him that I had to feel the urge to drive and I just wasn’t feeling it. The words stayed stuck in my throat. Even I knew that those excuses sounded hollow. Even I knew that I had to act grown up and just get through this challenge. But, I felt helpless in front of the non-stop disastrous thought patterns that my mind kept presenting. It took me ages to understand that what I had been experiencing all these years, right from my childhood had a name attached to it.
Anxiety defined
The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as, “An emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” It sounds very simplistic when you put what you feel in a decided set of words. Words simply cannot do justice to what you feel, no matter how eloquently they are put together. You want to cry, but tears won’t form. You want to scream, but vocal cords stop working. You want to speak with someone about what you’re going through, but the words seem to kind of freeze in your throat. All you’re left with is this roaring sound in your head and the words, “I can’t do this!”
Reality hits.
The days trudged by, and I did manage to somehow get my license to drive. All the days of practice with my husband, many driving school sessions and a couple of driver’s tests later, the miracle happened. I felt victorious when I held that license in my hand. I felt on top of the world, and then I made the mistake of looking down from that height. Reality hit me as I realized, now that I was legally allowed to, I was actually expected to drive places, all by myself. And that’s when the panic button hit one more time. My husband tried his very best to motivate me, but the terror of it had paralyzed me …all over again.
A reason to move forward.
It took me two years to move forward, and the reason came in the form of my first bundle of joy, my little daughter and the lady who gave birth to me, my mom. My mom was the one who said, “I’ll take care of your little one, and you make sure that you can take care of her when I have to leave.” In retrospect, I guess that was all I required to move myself to do something. I had to accept that if I wanted to be able to independently take care of my child here, I had to face my fear, no matter how strong the fear was and how weak I felt.
Baby steps.
It started with little baby steps, small trips to the nearest grocery store, and lead to bigger things like handling my baby’s doctor’s appointment, all by myself. Every little step that I took, seemed to push me ahead. Pretty soon, I was able to convince myself pretty quickly that I wasn’t anxious about driving anymore.
And then came the big setback.
It happened, the day I had been dreading all these years, arrived. And it came so innocently that it caught me off guard. It was a regular morning and a regular visit to my daughter’s preschool. As I drove out of her school, I misjudged the oncoming traffic, and crashed straight into a car, with my daughter in the back and my mother-in-law sitting next to me. Though all three of us were shaken up by the event, no one was thankfully injured, not even the driver of the other car. But my nightmare of crashing my car came true.
Moving on again
If I say that I breezed through the next few days, I would be a big fat liar! It was horrifyingly painful and the image of the broken van is permanently etched in my brain. Not to mention the fact, that once I was in a condition to start driving again, I had to pass the same route every day, twice a day, for five days a week as I dropped and picked up my daughter from her preschool. It did not happen just like that. It took me months, probably years to gain my full confidence back. But, sometimes the only way you can get over something is simply by getting over it. You take one painful step after another, and before you know it, you look back, in awe, of the distance you have managed to travel.
The lessons learned
What I learned is what I’d like to pass on to my children and to anyone else who faces anxiety.
1. Do not ignore or suppress your fears. Doing that just increases the size of your anxiety. It definitely does not make it go away.
2. When you have decided that you will be facing your fears, do not listen to the negative self-talk that you will often hear. You will not fail at this. You will not look back and doubt yourself. You can do this and more, a lot more.
3. Search and find your true motivation for walking past your fear. It can be for your parents or your friends. But it works best when it is for yourself. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are always the best motivators that you can find.
4. Always be prepared for setbacks, as they will invariably make an appearance at some point in your life. Just when you think you have conquered this, life will take an about-turn. And when that happens, take a deep breath, begin the process of taking one step after another, and keep moving on.
5. Whenever you feel down about how hard this is, try to visualize how it would feel when you look back one day from a place of strength and achievement. That day will come soon, even if things look bleak now.
If I say that my days of breaking into sweat are behind me, that would be another gigantic lie. Today, I drive all over the place, almost like I’m walking, and yet I’m aware that all it might take is one more episode of disaster and I may have to start all over again. And that’s completely alright with me. Real-life doesn’t offer happy-endings-forever.
What it does offer, are repeated opportunities to conquer fears and experience those happy endings.
First published on … https://sursangeet2000.wordpress.com/2019/10/14/overcoming-anxiety/
The dinner table is a fun and chaotic place where the family gathers to eat and share their day. When you have younger children, it can often be a place of enormous mess and strain. Have you wondered how to provide value around dinner the dinner table?
Primarily, mothers have been the ones to tend to the children and the cleanup of the messes in days gone by. However, the modern dad pitches in and helps to ease the burden on mom. Here are some ways that dads can help take care of their kids around the dinner table.
1. Help Serve the Meal
How many times does mom barely get enough time to eat because she is getting the plates ready for the rest of the family? Dad can help to serve the children. If they need help with cutting steak or pork chops, then he can also assist with this seemingly time-consuming chore. When everybody is eating and their bellies are filling, there will be less chaos in the serving process.
2. Create a Warm and Inviting Environment
If you were to poll children around America, they would all say that they would prefer to eat in front of the TV or while playing a video game. It’s just as much dad’s responsibility as it is mom’s to make the table a warm and inviting place to congregate. Teaching these principals starts at a young age.
If you’ve spent good money on fancy dining tables from reclaimed wood in Boston, MA, you want to make sure the family gets use from it. Who says the dinner table is only about food? You should teach kids to play games, sit and chat, and learn that this is a spot that is at the center of the heart of the home.
3. Clean Up
Any mother will tell you that cleanup is the hardest part of any meal. Children love to throw food to the dog down below or at their sibling. The floor can often look like someone emptied a trash can when the meal is done. Dad can make sure that peace and order are followed during the dinner process. By keeping up with wiping hands and any spills as they occur, the cleanup won’t be nearly as intense.
4. Be Present
Not every family has the luxury of having dinner together. Work schedules often inhibit eating as a family. However, when dad and mom are both home, an effort should be made to have dinner as a family. There’s something remarkable about setting aside time for each other.
Life is crazy, and people want to eat on the go. However, there is something sacred about having a meal as a family. Even if dinner time gets a bit chaotic, dad can help to ease the burden on mom during this time. With any luck, your children will grow to appreciate and teach their kids the importance of gathering around the table.
Parents hoping to receive treatment for addiction often worry about how this recovery journey will affect their children. With the proper treatment and precautions to protect children from the effects of addiction, individuals in recovery can achieve sobriety, while healing their familial relationships. Read on to learn how parents can seek treatment without negatively affecting their children.
Consider Inpatient Care
Inpatient residential care is likely the most intensive form of rehab treatment. Allowing clients to undergo detox and receive treatment in a residential facility (inpatient care) will give parents the best opportunity to overcome addiction. Over a period of several weeks or months, parents will learn to overcome their addiction and develop new routines. This will help them rebuild their lives after rehab.
Meet with a Therapist
Therapy is an essential part of treatment. While detox programs and residential treatment are crucial for healing the body from the effects of addiction, therapy helps clients achieve emotional and mental sobriety. In inpatient treatment, you’ll receive group therapy, individual counseling, and family therapy. As you learn new techniques, they will help you overcome the old habits that facilitated your addiction.
Make Your Home a Sober Environment
After receiving treatment from an addiction recovery center, it’s important to prepare for your new life outside of treatment. While residential care prepares clients for a life of sobriety, coming back to your home after rehab can be particularly triggering. If you’re planning to live at home after rehab is over, make sure to give your home a thorough cleaning.
Transform your home into a sober environment by eliminating all sources of addiction. This includes everything from alcohol and drugs to anything that may trigger you like photos of old friends or similar items.
Have Children Stay with Family During Recovery
Recovery is a long process that isn’t limited to your time in inpatient treatment. As you acclimate yourself to your newfound sobriety and life outside of rehab, it’s important to make sure your children have a safe environment as well.
If possible, send your children to stay with other family members or friends during your initial period of recovery after rehab. As you become more solidified in your sobriety and your daily routines, your children will be able to return to a safe and sober environment.
Addiction treatment is the best option for parents hoping to achieve sobriety and create a healthy environment for their family members. Make sure your children experience the benefits of recovery by taking this information into consideration.
Moving is hard for everyone, but children with OCD and autism tend to struggle the most. Your child likely thrives on a routine, and moving tends to mean having to readjust to an entirely new living situation. Although your child may exhibit more symptoms during the moving process, you can use these tips to help them quickly acclimate to their new house.
Encourage Them to Help Pack
Your child with autism may be confused or upset to discover that everything they care about has been packed up. Especially if you try to do it when they are not at home. A child with OCD may also be extremely worried about the status of their belongings during the move. To help with these issues, have your child help pack their personal items. While you may handle the majority of the packing, it can be reassuring for your child to help. You can ask your child to carefully wrap breakables and organize items that go together in the same boxes.
Include Them in the Planning Process
Children with autism and OCD do best when they know what to expect. Using age-appropriate language, talk to them about some of the decisions that you make when you are working with the new home builders. For instance, you can show your child the floor plan of your new house before you move in. This will help them know where their bedroom is located. If your new home is near your old one, you could take your children there as it is being built. This way they can see the process with their own eyes.
Make Their Bedroom an Oasis
Moving to a new house usually creates at least a few days of chaos before everyone settles in. During this time, your child can use their room as a place to retreat to when they feel stressed. Plan to set up your child’s room first. They’ll be able to regulate their behavior better, when they are surrounded by familiar furniture and toys.
Involve Them with Setting Up the Rest of the House
Your child also needs to feel comfortable in the rest of the house before they can successfully adjust, and they may have a sense of ownership over certain shared items such as their video game systems.
Give your child simple tasks that help them feel more in control over how things are set up. For instance, an older child might want to organize their video games in the living room. Or a younger child may want to designate a quiet space, where they can play with their toys.
Thinking about your child’s ability to adjust to a new environment is essential during your move. Although you may need to practice a bit more patience during stressful moments, you can keep them to a minimum by simply planning ways to prevent meltdowns. By talking to your child about your plans and getting them involved in each part of the move, you can help them learn to love their new home.
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