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In the routine of complex living, we fail to realize the void due to connecting less than usual with our loved ones, and even voicing our feelings not as much as expected to? Amidst the day to day chaos, aspirations of all kinds, things to do, and the things that don’t reach the much-desired finishing line we are all continually juggling. But in the progression, we are drifting away from likely feelings that separate us from androids.
“When life goes down, don’t worry. Sometimes you have to go down to learn the things that are down.” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Do we ever get enough space to see our privileges compared to many others, or think about all that we do and what even possibly makes us seem gifted to multi-task? COVID-19 and the consequent lockdowns all over the globe have compelled us to pause open-endedly and look within. It has made us realize that there will never be any greater reward for running away from relationships than actually staying closer to them.
Lockdown: A moment to pause, reflect and untangle
Shortage of time has been a constant complaint and now that we somewhat have it on hand, yet we appear unhappy. This phase has left many of us numb and muddled about the misplaced feeling. Not just confused but this crisis has made us all emotional too. Won’t you approve?
The activities and the duties haven’t gone down and the fatigue is getting the better of us. Schools and offices are closed, the basic services and amenities that were earlier enjoyed righteously are now luxuries beyond the scope. We can’t stop weeping over this temporary slowdown because it’s exhausting in every thinkable aspect. This is a slump in the face of a pandemic that is beyond anyone’s control. But if this slowdown hasn’t made you fall in the introspective line then nothing ever will.
Reframing is a superpower!
It’s important to understand that not everybody is heroic or privileged enough to skin the not-so-pleasant emotions under the layer of a new found love for an activity, long lost interests, or even chattering with a like-minded group of friends. Courtesy social media and exceptional communication technology, I am seeing a lot of people loosen up and express more care-freely about their sentiments. They are talking a lot more openly about their unsettling moods, fears, and even insecurities due to the current situation and thereafter.
With the trapped-in-our-bubble kind of a situation, I am beginning to comprehend and express feelings that I didn’t earlier. The aloofness we all face today due to the restrictions over normal living is upsetting but I am beginning to appreciate the tête-à-tête with my unattended emotions. It is bringing me closer to the people that matter and should always. It is giving me a clear view of my strengths and allowing me a window to work on my not so strong aspects.
Moments that connect us with our precious days from the past…
Yesterday, I ran after my 4-year-old as she attempted to ride a bike without training wheels. In the pursuit of training her to ride successfully, I must have yelled at her uncontrollably. I thought she didn’t want to follow my instructions, whereas, I was trying to save her from falling. I felt she isn’t going to learn and I must have contemplated giving up on her more than she.
Amidst all the emotional and physical stress that I endured, I also shed tears of regrets for not hugging my father and thanking him. He must have run after me the same way but never yelled. Not just for the bike learning but every single thing I know or do today. If at all I fell, he used to say “I let you fall because I knew this is the only way you will avoid falling in the first place in the future and give your best in whatever you do”. His ways have taught me to be vigilant and perseverant. Giving up can never be an option and I never thanked him enough for instilling this in me.
It’s almost like an invisible & immortal book of parental proverbs
I have seen the new generation including my own get easily nervous over unsought guidance. If not all, most of us at some point in life have ridiculed those pearls of wisdom that came to us at no cost but then life is vicious. It works in a way that you come to the same pass where our elders once claimed to have stood. I call this “The Wheel of Life”.
This will sound familiar as my parents said this to me, not just once but perhaps repeatedly in my childhood and thankfully it continues to date. The immortal warnings “One day you will realize this when you have children of your own!“, “We didn’t do this to you and this isn’t right the way you are doing!”, “I was once where you are today but I listened to my parents and you aren’t.” If these words don’t sound familiar, then a smirk would equate just fine. The smirk that spoke as loud as words and meant equivalent to “You were exactly like this but we handled you with love and hugs.”
A note of thank you for bearing all tantrums
On many occasions, my father seemed indifferent from outside and his ways of dealing with us were inconvenient, so I would every so often grumble myself to sleep. My mother who knew me well, used to encourage me to speak more openly about my feelings as she said the more you communicate, the better nurtured your relations will be. This advice from her has helped me across all the relations I deal with today. I asked her once how she or her age people handled issues like generation gaps, the difference of opinions, day to day worries, or even ego clashes? And if they also had similar anxieties due to the slit?
Her answer touches my heart to date. She said, “Be glad for the gap for that is where experiences come in handy. Think of it that there is someone more practiced to guide you when you need assistance. Be grateful for everybody is different, this exclusivity in each individual makes life thrilling and worth living.” In the current time, we need counseling and professional therapists to help us deal with our complex emotions but in earlier days, it was strong communication and affection for each other that healed and sealed the gaps if any. She taught me acceptance of who I am and that I am enough in every way. I never thanked her enough for making me see pride in being unique.
What joy did my mother derive from her repeatedly asking “How is the food and did you like it?” or “I won’t sleep until you come and have your meal”. I hear the answer now every time as I feed my children and with every morsel of food that goes down, I feel satiated. I realize the peace and incomparable joy in sleeping with well-fed children in your arms. I get it today and I regret not responding to her questions in a manner she truly deserved.
The fear of getting stranded with unspoken feelings tucked in my heart!
The schools are closed and we have officially become in-charge of the studies for our little ones and it’s the hardest job on earth I reckon. To educate your little ones and with an entertaining methodology, it is just a skill that is too hard to acquire, and for those who have this skill, we call them ‘Teachers’. It takes immense courage to handle the mistakes but not lose patience. The sight words, tips for simple Mathematics, and reading storybooks – nothing gets easy but then a thought dawned on me. I wasn’t born with these basics stuffed in my baby brains. I reached where I am today because someone handled me with love and motivating hugs. Someone helped me learn at my own pace and never pushed me into any race.
There is no end to the moments that make me stagger upon the memories from my growing up and years spent with my parents. Every time I think of my parents, their beliefs, and their unconditional love for me, my heart is filled with gratitude and also fear.
There are surging emotions in me due to the unspoken emotions for my parents but for many people it can be similar or deeper sentiments due to guilt, regrets, anger, or even love towards someone that must have been important at some point. A close friend, a partner, a sibling, or even a fellow worker. The feelings hidden for an untold number of reasons but now when they are reappearing in your mind, it is time to deal with them and bring closure for acceptance and peace.
This pandemic has already claimed so many innocent lives and the mark of salvage isn’t in clear sight yet. We are all stuck in our locations and many are far away from their loved ones. In the last 7 weeks, I have inexpressibly mourned the departure of so many people I knew and some I didn’t. Life is uncertain and everybody has to leave one day, agreed! But not when you don’t even get a chance to say the goodbyes or express your unequivocal love for them.
Nothing is permanent but memories are!
I am grateful for the fact that my parents are around and although distant but I can pick up the phone and make them feel important which they deserve to know. What you hear from them days after days, year after years is precious and someday you won’t hear it at all. That day, you will be lonelier than the lockdown phase is today. This social distancing is here to tell us that even if you have to be socially distant, don’t be spiritually distant. This figurative chapter in our lives is signaling to acknowledge all kinds of feelings and provide a much-needed restart to our fatiguing souls that aren’t made to carry the unwanted weight of emotions.
Acknowledge your feelings! If you haven’t acknowledged the efforts of your elders for guiding you and for bringing you this far, or any other relationship that suffered due to deficit of time, then it’s time you do that with the symphony of these words…“I Love You and I wish to see you soon after the lockdown ends.”
Leena Asnani is an Indian but considers herself a global citizen.She has lived in the Middle East, India, and the United States. She is a mother of two girls and is currently based in Chicago, Illinois with her small family. With an MBA degree in Sales and Marketing and a rich corporate span of 12 plus years, her heart always remained in traveling, exploring the beautiful globe and still does. You can enjoy her curated content on Instagram @milesupheart.
61 Responses
This is so beautifully put together. Every emotion that I have also recently been through and might have not realized until I sat down and read your article, you have beautifully emoted them in your article.
Thank you so much and am so glad that I could share my emotions with the rest of the world. To have people step up and resonate with your work feels like big success to me already. Much grateful .
👌👌Superb👏👏
Thank you so much !
Totally resonate with every word written here. I am infamous amongst friends and family for not being “in touch” ….. and my excuse (to them and me) being time difference, hectic schedule etc. Sadly, I have to credit the pandemic for the introspection.
Thank you so much for your positive feedback and am so glad you could resonate with my words.
A very insightful & thought provoking article. Well done!
Thank you so much !
Dearest Leena.
This article written by you touches all the necessary emotions , relations and lessons for a mankind today.
How much i feel proud reading this ,i am sure it made you as much proud while writing it down. We need more & more human like you around us. A big bear hug coming your way Darling.
Thank you so much Mahima for your supportive and encouraging words always. This feels empowering.
Wow Leena.. it is such a precise article.. love it.. ur article brings out all emotional feeling that were hidden within me..
Thank you so much Hema and am so glad you find this post relatable.
What a thought prevoking blog that covers so much that needs time to digest. It is true that we have said for a long time, ‘if only I wasn’t so busy.’ On the face of it ‘Lockdown’ was an opportunity to rebalance our lives but we have found different stresses, different activities. I wonder how much of that has been necessity and how much is a subconscious need to fill our time. I think one of the precious gifts we can learn and pass onto our children is the gift of doing nothing, of appreciating each moment as a precious gift. During lockdown I have been studying and doing a diploma in mindfulness and have found it helpful and challenging not least in rebalancing how I see things. The issue of Mental Health during this time has and is massive as today’s reports highlight.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-52657494
This is something that I believe many of us we need to be part of addressing and I believe will fall not just to professionals but creatives, families and more.
Wonderful blog with much to consider.
Thank you so much Ade and as always you are a big support and motivation. I know how much you work in the area of mental health awareness and am so glad you found this blog a relevant piece. Means a lot .
Much needed positivity in these gloomy days!!!
I am a big fan of her writing. She empowers, motivates n gives positive vibes be it anything.
Thank you so much Sarita and these are some very uplifting words from you as always. Yes times are tough and we all are handling it with our best ability. Sometimes from own strengths and other times from our trusted allies. Thank you for being a true supporter of my thoughts.
I have gone through the article and can expect this because I have seen growing you in my house. Lockdown period is the period when people is exploring themselves through their past with the present situations when they are between their loved ones-children ,husband
and others. Article is best knitted with the past memories and new experience with new ones.
A good work with honest feelings.
Thank you so much and i really appreciate your time and attention to my work which is curated with emotions and experiences of the past. It means a lot !
Very beautifully articulated!!
Thank you so much and it means a lot. I appreciate your time, positive approach and support.
Beautifully written. Such a powerful message seen through your writing. We need more people like you to bring about little changes in our lives and make it worth living .
Thank you so much Amentha for your beautiful feedback and needless to say but you always inspire me to explore the better version of me.
Ur words have some magic jus like you. Reading those make us realize and remember some childhood memories. Awaiting for your next article.
Thank you so much Kiran and it means a lot to me that you could connect with my content . I am rooting for you to garner courage and strength after losing someone so close to your heart recently.
A truthful and well written article. Each section really connects with your different phases of life and make you think “yes this is true”. Really appreciate “Nothing is permanent but memories are!” section as each of the individual should learn from it and implement it appropriately.
Hope to see more such articles from you in future.
Thank you so much Abhijit for your wonderful feedback and am thrilled to learn that my emotions are echoed by so many likeminded people. Feels empowering and encourages me to write more often. I am overwhelmed with gratitude .
Splendid work Leena.
Thank you so much Remia
Best article ever, thanks a lot to God who made writters like you
Thank you so much Rohit !
It’s awesome leena keep it up .it was needed at this point hats off to you and and good wishes
Thank you so much and I really appreciate your positive feedback.
Superb! Very well articulated. Best wishes.
Thank you so much and I am very delighted that you liked the blog.
Nicely articulated.
Our Best wishes.
Leena as always you express yourself so well !! And I can connect to most of the things you have written here !!! Hoping the world becomes a better place for all of us and we change for the better !! Keep your thought flowing in these blogs !!
Thank you so much Sneha and I believe we are all made of emotions that are not very different and hence that makes us emote the same under varying circumstances. I am so glad you could resonate with my feelings and it’s always good to receive your appreciation.
It’s a wow… !!
So beautifully written..
Can relate each n every word with myself … Never knew you are such a great writer too.. articulation at its best…
Thank you so much Ankur for your kind words and appreciation.
Lovely article! And truly this is the time for introspection and looking at and appreciating all the people we’ve kind of taken for granted. It’s also time to look at the privileges we have not acknowledged. In a way, the lockdown is a ‘gift’ and we must hope it changes us and our ways! Your article brings that out most sensitively! Well done!
Thank you so much Vaishaki and you will have to believe that this feedback makes me the happiest. I was curious as well as nervous to know if you read my blog. You have been instrumental in guiding me with your constructive feedbacks and also advices. I can’t thank you enough and I look forward to learning much more from you.
Very nice article. We are so in tune with the words and feelings. It’s definitely a good time for introspection.
Thank you so much Rakesh and Shivali.
Well penned👏👏
Absolutely precise expressions.👌🏻
Set the mind rolling to retrospection😇
Thank you so much and am so grateful to you for your positive feedback and time. It means a lot .
Loved the writing, it comes straight from the heart and that’s why it’s so beautiful! Can’t wait to read more!!
Thank you so much, Rhea and I am very excited to know you loved my content. This is encouraging.
Loved the writing, it comes straight from the heart and that’s why it’s so beautiful! Can’t wait to read more!!
Beautifully written
Thank you so much Nitya and I am happy you liked the thoughts that I have shared via this blog. This is empowering.
Love this article so much. Must read!
Leena it is so well written and touches exactly to the core of heart reminding of relations that are actually precious but gaps do follow.
Knowing you, uncle and aunty I can truly relate to each and every word and I always admire you for the sorted and beautiful person you are.
Your words truly were insightful and make the person reading, pause and think about the right priorities in life
Thank you so much Bhavna for truly beautiful words and I wouldn’t expect anything less from an amazing person that you are. Indeed we take our relationships for granted and with time, gaps do follow as you rightly said. But now time itself has compelled us to look back and fill those gaps. It will also help us teach our little ones the importance of conversing transparently. Much love to you and your kids.
What an excetionally well written article Leena ! Every word made so much sense and I really hope you continue this passion of yours. I now know you not just as a fellow globetrotter but also as a very impactful content creator.
Thank you so much Shilpy for your kind words and your unconditional support that you have extended towards your globetrotter friend and now also an aspiring writer. I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude to see the encouragement and love pouring from all over to this amateur writer. Thank you again.
It brought tears to my eyes. I’m so thankful to Leena for sending me this write up to read and feel. Her writing inspires me always but this one made me so emotional that I can’t express in words. The last part about memories is so true! “……….. you will be lonelier than this lockdown phase” – still getting goosebumps. Thank you so much Leena for this NOTE!
Thank you so much, Deb, for your heartwarming message here and on IG. With the time I have begun to understand that when we follow what matters to us and we let our hearts join the thoughts, we manage to touch many other invisible chords too. I am so delighted that my post which had my heart along with my honesty, could touch your soul to make you emotional. It makes me already successful in what I was attempting to. Thank you so much for your love and support in abundance.
An insightful post with lots to ponder, consider and evaluate. I have certainly taken my parents for granted on many occasions when I was growing up but glad that I was able to return my gratitude in a minute way when adult, before their passing. Even so, their love, understanding and guidance are immeasurable and have curated me to be who I am today, for which I am eternally grateful. Hope they are proud of me :). The lock down has meant many things to many people…as for me, your words “I am beginning to appreciate the tête-à-tête with my unattended emotions. It is bringing me closer to the people that matter and should always. It is giving me a clear view of my strengths and allowing me a window to work on my not so strong aspects.” couldn’t be truer. Having a better view of my strengths has open-up windows of opportunities which I had brushed aside previously. Not sure how much longer it will take for normalcy…until then, we should turn these moments to productive use. Great post, as always Leena. I enjoyed reading it and made me reflect on my experiences.
Thank you so much Georgina for giving this article your time, attention, and a nod of appreciation along with unconditional love towards my work. I agree that this lockdown may have been much more than just a retrospective window for many people. This phase is turning out to be a gift in many ways. Although painful to endure the slump but we are all getting in sync with our past, our learnings and our focus for the way ahead. You are an amazing human from what I have learned about you and I know your parents are proud as they look at you from above. As a parent today I can tell that no matter how much our kids inconvenience us, but when they do something for us with good intentions. We let go of all grudges and take with us only smile and peace. No matter at what age you began doing things to make them happy, be rest assured they carried only those memories along. I learn so much from you and I would never want that to end. Thank you once again.
Nicely written👏👏👏
Thank you so much Bharat for your kind and encouraging words always. Much appreciated.