June 17, 2020 - Raising World Children

Teaching Kids When to Reach Out and When to Listen

For those who do not know why Indians around the world are feeling heart break today. THIS is Sushant Singh Rajput.

An actor that went from acting on TV to films. Amazing powerhouse of talent.

Gone too soon! This goes to show that depression doesn’t fall out on those CLEARLY suffering …. It can be a parasite on those “apparently” successful as well.

To most, a death that makes sense is easier to digest than one that they cannot comprehend. This is one of them!

Remember, if those close to you seem strong or OK, doesn’t mean that they are. Even at the slightest sense, ASK. TEXT. REACH OUT . Don’t pay condolences for a day, after . Let people know you care, while they are with you.

Don’t be alone with your pain. Say something. Anything. I’m here. There’s always someone WILLING to be with you.

My heart is broken thinking of this talented man no more. Someone who was so well spoken, rising through life to a place few can reach. Alone in an apartment, with no one to walk him off the ledge of forever never. Imagining those who cared for him getting the news of his death.

My hands feel like lead as I as write this but write I must. I know what it feels like to be alone in a room wondering if it’s all worth it. Feeling so desperate, when all feels hopeless. Which is why my focus in raising my kids is NEVER going to be the “empty drive for success or the rat race of life”.

Indians everywhere have SUCH a huge stigma where mental health conversations are concerned. Many people around me, who clearly have issues will never see a therapist or admit to their situation or just pick up the phone and say,” I’m feeling … “

That is why In the world of fake “How are yous?”, I always give a REAL answer. So people see ME as the REAL me, and I wish all I know do the same.

It is heart breaking.

In those darkest moments where light even is a vacuum, we need our children to know they can come to us with ANYTHING.

Let the pressure of success, excellence, growth, talent be taken off! Focus more on the love you have for them and the joy you feel at their mere existence. Why do we have this drive to constantly push ourselves, beyond our capacity or expect MORE and MORE all the time? To follow that butterfly of success or happiness that is always moving?

So what if you fail? So what if you fight with a loved one? So what if today things seem all wrong? So what if you aren’t the BEST of the best? There’s always hope. There’s always another day.

KNOW YOUR WORTH!

I hope every son and daughter around the world knows that above all, their parent wants them to just BE a part of their lives. Every sibling knows that they are cared about. Every friend knows that they are wanted.

Oh gosh! There is so much wrong with our society. I hope children everywhere know that contentment comes from within and if they are not feeling happy, or are feeling desperate, they can always ask for them. Specially from their parents.

Ways in which we can empower them early –

Journal your feelings.
Don’t be alone when you are low.
Know who to go to for what issues.
Be honest in your communications.
Asking for help is not a weakness.
Listen with heart, not only ears.
Stay connected to friends and family always.
Be truthful with family about personal struggles.
Never be scared to go to parents with ANY issue.
Have a hobby you can turn to to feed your soul.
Don’t let anyone define your self worth
Know early that popularity, wealth, success all mean nothing without self contentment.
Stand talk in front of peer pressure

May we raise them with the strength of asking for help. To die so young! With so much within. What a loss for the world!

Prayers for his soul and for those who cared for him. My tears are not just for him but everyone who left too early, not having someone close to tell them, “You are not alone. I’m here.”

Please take time out to check on friends and family and LISTEN to them when they talk.

Let’s a raise a generation of children strong enough to INSIST for help and kind enough to LISTEN carefully when needed.

Reach for Help and Hold on Hard!

When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark. I was so petrified about going into a dark room that I would usually have my little sis, five-and-a- half-years younger than me, to accompany me in to a dark room. There she was, all of four-years-old, holding my hand, “Are you scared? Don’t worry, I will come with you!” She would promptly step in to the dark room, her re-assuring hand holding my hand tight, and would switch on all the lights in the room. Then she would smile at me and step aside.

While a part of me was embarrassed, I couldn’t help but admire my sister’s courage at that young age. I also realized that my problem had a simple solution … simply switch on the lights. Problem solved!

To this day, before I step in to a dark room, my hands look for the switch board, and then I hear a few clicking sounds and there is light everywhere. My sister doesn’t accompany me anymore, but the image of her smiling face floats in my head as I thank her for all those times that she was there for me.

There is the darkness in a room and then there is the darkness in our soul. Not all darkness can be conveniently removed in this manner. The darkest of the dark feeling is when you lose the will to live. I can not even imagine what goes through a person’s mind when they contemplate taking their own life. Do they wish for someone to reach out to in those dark moments? Do they even stop caring enough to try to come up with a solution?

It is so easy to judge them and call them a coward. It is so easy to claim that they should not have given up so easily. The truth is we all should be doing something that we are not doing. Or we should all not be doing something that we are doing. Hindsight, as they say is 20/20. But is it really that easy to do or to not do?

In an ideal world, I should not have been scared of the dark. In an ideal world my little sister shouldn’t have to take care of my fears. But both of the situations happened. In fact, I grew up to have my own children and constantly tell them to overcome their fears. And yet, to this day, my hands look for the switchboard before I step in to a dark room. When I think logically, I know that there is no reason for me to fear anything. Nothing bad has ever happened to me in a dark room. And yet, I still feel that irrational fear. It can happen to the best of us, all rational thoughts disappear when we are stressed about something. So, I close my eyes, imagine my four year old sister telling me, “Don’t worry. I will come with you.”

As I tell my children, the world is filled with good guys and bad guys. Some people are there for you even when they are not physically present. Some people are there just to pull you down so they can feel on top of the world.

When you come across the latter, hold on tight to the former. Reach out and cry for help. Tell them that you’re in pain. If there are ten people pulling you down, there will be ten people smiling at you as they say, ” I’m there for you!”