Secrets to Being a Perfect Parent

Are there any secrets to being a perfect parent? Let’s sit down with author Rachael Perez and learn more about the how, why, whats of her writing journey and all that inspired her books. She has a wealth of knowledge as writer and parent and has been kind in her authentic sharing.

Please share a little bit about your cultural journey.

Cultural journey….? Well, I am, what my parents called, a Heinz 57 variety. My cultural background includes Sicilian, Polish, Russian, German, French, and maybe other European ethnicities. Essecially, I am caucasian from an observers point of view. I always wanted to have a specific culture that I could be part of and be able to identify with but that was not the case. So my cultural journey has really just entailed me looking introspectively at myself and figuring out how I want to be perceived by others (personally and professionally).

How did you come to do the work you do?

Well, I’m a parent and a marriage & family therapist (MFT) and so my original inspiration came from toilet training my youngest daughter. She had many moments where objects (mostly toys) would get dropped into the toilet either on purpose or accident and I thought to myself that there had to be other parents dealing with this similar issue. I know most potty training books focus on helping young children to be comfortable on the toilet and feel like a potty superhero. I wanted to focus on it from a different angle. I created my cartoon character, Gia, who is a 4-year-old girl that is quirky, curious, funny and loves to learn. Then I started learning the digital drawing and put together my manuscript. I laugh at my original illustrations but they are kind of cute in their own way.

Please share a life-changing moment and how you overcame the struggle.

Parenting is such a complex and diverse subject. Everyone parents their children differently and hopefully comes out with positive results (obviously smart, well-adjusted, and strong individuals that grow into adulthood without any major problems). Learning how to be an “awesome” parent has been a constant struggle for me. I do my best to be as involved in my children’s lives without being weird or intrusive. My efforts to supervise and keep them safe have been more on the overprotective end of the spectrum (which can be seen as good or bad by others). The area I live in is highly populated and we don’t have a safe place for the kids to play outside. I’ve had to navigate my experiences with my own parents (and their parenting styles) and do my best not to act in the same ways.

Since parenting is a journey and a very intense learning experience, it is important to always reevaluate what and how you are doing. It is good to be part of other parenting groups so that you can observe other parents and choose which parts of the parenting process you want to adopt as your own.

Don’t compare yourself to other parents – you may be better at some things and not as good as other parents. All parents have to have their own style and be true to themselves.
Don’t be too hard on yourself when you feel like you did something wrong. The only really wrong things are abuse and/or neglect. As long as you are providing for your children financially and emotionally (in your best capacity), you are doing fine. We are not perfect and will “mess up” at times. You just teach your children that even parents make mistakes and give them love.
Be open to learning new things or ways of parenting. It is important to be open to learning because even when we think we have things together…something falls apart. There is so much stress in modern day life that we can get caught up in it and maybe not do our best. Podcasts, YouTube videos, parenting classes and even going to parenting groups can be real eye openers. You may learn better ways of doing things but also things you definitely don’t want to do as well.
Always remember that your children are only young once. You may have a demanding job, be a single parent, have family members that need extra care, etc., but it is so important to give your children your time. Make sure that whenever you are able to spend quality time with your kids that you do so because this solidifies your connection and relationship with them. It is important for your children to grow up knowing that you made them a priority and showed them that you thought they were (are) important.
Teenagers need attention too! Lots of parents think or believe that when their children grow old enough that they don’t need as much supervision or attention which couldn’t be further from the truth. Teens need love, guidance and attention from their parents. This is the time in their lives when they are developing their habits, personalities, preferences, and self-esteem. When teens are left to their own devices, they tend to be influenced more by their friends. It is crucial to make sure that you know your teen’s friends and stay involved in their social media usage. Show your teens that you love and respect them so that they will take those things with them into their adulthood.

What topics do you write about? Why do you write about these topics?

So far, I’ve written 3 children’s picture books focusing on learning life lessons. My first book focused on teaching young children what can and cannot go into the potty. Most children’s potty training books focus on helping children feel comfortable using it and encouraging them to continue practicing until they get it right and build confidence. I decided to put a different twist on the potty training and help kids to learn the 3 things that are allowed into the potty and did my best to make it entertaining.

After that, I wanted to make a rhyming book about food and thought this would be a fun type of children’s book. So Food is Fun came to be and it has Gia on each page with lots of different kinds of foods around her with sight words. I decided to make this book a learning tool and not just a cute picture book.

Next I thought it would be fun to introduce some new characters and so I felt like focusing on friendship was a good way to do that. My book, Are We Friends dives into what it takes to be a good friend for a young child and how can they learn how to do this. Gia and her new “friends” learn how to share things, to take turns, and to be kind & show compassion. Each step of the process in the book focuses on a different aspect of friendship in a way that young children can understand.

Benefits to teaching life lessons:

New skills
New ideas
Helpful tips
Increase strengths
Improve self-confidence

Please share a little about your journey as an author/creator/educator etc. What tips would you give to someone starting in this field?

My journey as an author/creator/educator really just came about by chance and without much processing, planning, or research.I just basically got the idea in my head that I wanted to create a children’s book with my own personal character and charged forward with it. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that part but here we are. It would be more beneficial to do research on the topics that you would like to write about and if there’s a market for those topics. Another thing that would be good is to check out your competition to find out how well the books in your preferred topic/genre/niche sell and how successful you may be writing those types of books. The children’s picture book is extremely over saturated and there are so many fantastic books that don’t get much attention because, as self-published authors, we have to do all of the work (including marketing) ourselves.

Next, a new author would want to look into the three options for publishing (self-publishing, hybrid, and traditional) and determine the pros & cons of each. Traditional publishing is what most people think of when coming up with the idea to publish a book but it is not the only one. Traditional publishing may get you more attention but you still have to do most of the marketing yourself depending on the publishing house and what they offer. Also, with traditional publishing you don’t have the ability to choose your illustrator or printing house. Hybrid, from what I undersand, provides more flexibility with different things. Self-Publishing is you (and only YOU) doing all of the work.However, you can choose your book style, cover style, printing house, illustrator, and everything else. So it is just a matter of choosing the right method for you.

I have not given up on publishing great books even though my books are not flying off the shelves (ha ha). I know that with the right connections, decisions, and content that I may see more success in the future. This is a great thing to do because you are providing important messages and information to children. Books are so important for kids to learn from because the lessons can be so profound. In my experience, picture books provide lessons about feelings, self-confidence, loss/grief, friendship, finding your passion, helping others, helping the environment, learning about animals, space discovery, history, and so much more.

So it is important to take a chance if you think you have a good (or even great) idea to share with the world. Even though there are so many books out there right now, there is always room for more. Share your ideas and don’t be afraid to make mistakes along the way. Join groups with other authors and content creators so that you can get advice and helpful tips that can help you on your journey.

And be aware of scammers on the internet & social media because there are too many individuals/agencies/companies that make claims to help you reach more people or get more followers. Many of them are not worth your time. It is best to set up your own website, start an email list (something I’m still working on doing), and get out there in the community to share the benefits of your creations. Good luck!!

To learn more about her books, head over to her author central page or Instagram.