Courtney Harris, Author at Raising World Children

Discover The Power of New Year Intentions

As the end of 2017 quickly approaches, we have the special opportunity to set intentions for the new year. Ritualizing or honoring transitions, such as the end of the year and the beginning of 2018, can be powerful and transformative!

These rituals may inspire new layers of processing and reflecting. They may act as an anchor that grounds and steadies, and they may serve as a catalyst for change and transformation.

One ritual that many people are familiar with is New Year’s resolutions. I often hear of resolutions such as “lose 20 pounds”, “start working out more”, “spend less money”, or “read more books.” While many of these resolutions contain ideas that may enhance one’s life, there’s a pressure and expectation that can become rather heavy.

Resolutions are often loaded with “shoulds;” for example, “I should be healthier.” In many cases, resolutions contain a sense of shame, which can’t truly motivate or sustain us long-term. In fact, shame may push us further out of alignment, causing us to feel like a failure. When I set intentions in the past, I experienced a constant sense of not being or doing enough. Does this sound familiar to you?

An alternative ritual that I’d like to suggest today is intention setting. Intentions are lighter in nature. They are about creating a vision for ourselves as we move forward in life. We name it and own it. Intentions focus on committing to the life we each wish to live, asking us to channel energy into an idea of change and transformation that we have for ourselves and our family. When we set intentions, we commit to stepping into the process of growing every day.

The differences may sound quite subtle, but keep reading for ideas on how to set your intentions, and the unique inspiration of a New Year’s Intention is sure to shine through.

7 Ways to Set New Year’s Intentions:

Pick one of these activities or try them all! Many of these activities pair nicely together, so read each one and notice which one(s) you feel called towards.

1.What do you want this next year to look like, sound like, and feel like? Use this 3-column chart to write it ALL out.

There are no limits. Get very specific. For example, I want 2018 to look like camping in West Texas, reunions with friends, organic vegetables, and talking with clients on zoom. I want 2018 to sound like lots of laughter, deep conversations, and moments of sweet silence. I want 2018 to feel like joy, warm hugs, peaceful, and adventurous. Hang this chart somewhere you’ll where you’ll see it and refer to it regularly. Consider doing this activity as a family, observing the many different ways each member of the family wants 2018 to be like. Create conversation about these differences, learning from and feeling inspired by one another, and making plans and intentions together. Print your template for this activity here.

2. Pick one word that can be your theme, mantra, and vision for the year.

If you do activity #1, a word may appear in your chart or as you’re crafting the details. A specific word that describes your vision may come up. Or, perhaps you sit in quiet for a few moments and see if a word comes up for you. Examples of themes include joy, peace, abundance, or laughter. Find ways to integrate this theme into your life throughout the year.

Perhaps you sit in meditation each day and use this word as a mantra at the beginning or end of your practice. Maybe you create a piece of artwork with this word prominently displayed and hang it where you’ll interact with it daily. You can select a word together as a family, as well as individual themes for 2018.

3.Burn away the hurts, challenges, and struggles from the last year and use this new energy to commit to your vision for the future. Literally.

You’ll need a fireplace, a flame-proof pot or bowl, or a candle that you are willing to let go of, matches, and small slips of paper. Depending on the age-appropriateness of this activity for your children, consider allowing each family member to write out the parts of their lives, experiences, or negative thoughts that they are ready to let go of.

Allow time to think, reflect, and write. Then give each person the chance to burn these hurts away by tossing the paper into the fire. These slips may be read aloud or kept in silence before they are burned. New life grows out of ashes, so allow time to name (verbally or in writing) your new intentions or mindset for 2018.

4.Have a family-building circle to reflect upon 2017 and name intentions for 2018.

Through this restorative process, each family member has the time and space to explore their visions and goals, while also holding space for the rest of the family. This activity invites connection, trust, and understanding within the family, and each family member will have a chance to envision the 2018 they want and need to create. E-mail me for more information about restorative circles.

5.As a family, create a poster, painting, or table cloth together.

This creation will be a centerpiece, a unifying creation that inspires family life for 2018. Use the theme or words from activities #1-3 as the foundation for this art piece. A table cloth will be a perfect centerpiece for family-building circles (#4) throughout the year!

6.Set one small intention for each of the 12 months. Pick smaller goals or visions to focus on each month. Add these to the family calendar. During each month, give your special attention and focus to your monthly intention. For example, in January the focus may be “rest,” while in April the intention may be “movement,” and in July the goal may be “service.”

7.Set intentions for different aspects of your life. For example, family, personal, work. Or perhaps you’d like to set intentions about how you want to feel in your heart, mind, and body. You might draw ideas from activity #1 to generate these. Then, build intentions that will anchor your in 2018. Write these out as mantras to refer to, tuck them in your wallet, display them on the fridge, or use them in a way that invites you into the creative process daily.

May your intentions for 2018 bring you great peace and joy, and may 2018 be all that you need and want it to be. Share your intentions and ideas for 2018 below so that we can learn from one another, inspire one another, and hold one another accountable.

Discover The Power of New Year’s Intentions As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/ and https://courtneylynnharris.wixsite.com/mysite

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The Power of A Family Circle

Have you ever called an “emergency family meeting?” Did you gather in a circle around the kitchen table? Or huddle together on the couch? What prompted that meeting? Chances are it was a less than desirable circumstance or conflict. Perhaps it was a broken curfew, academic struggles, or a disrespectful outburst. Family challenges often prompt us to gather up, get talking, and fix problems.

What if your children associated “family meetings” or circles with honest, connected, nurturing communication, though? Not just problems!

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, I teach restorative circles to families with school-aged children. This powerful, co-created system for family-community-building and conflict management provides families with powerful, timeless, and healing tools.

Because family systems are constantly changing as the humans grow and evolve, this go-to system protects and supports family conversation, creates a strong foundation of trust, and encourages authentic connection. Using this method, you and you family will build positive associations with sitting in circles and talking about a wide range of family-based topics. Rather than expecting a lecture or a consequence during the “meeting,” your children and teens will experience “circles” as the rich soil from which the family cultivates love and understanding.

Restorative circles invite both parents and children of all ages to co-create the family environment and relationships together. It’s up to you, as the parent, to lead your family, yes, but this doesn’t mean you do it alone or without support. As you share the power of building your life together with your children, pressure and weight can be lifted. You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Likewise, as your children become more empowered, they engage in and create family dynamics with greater intention and investment. It’s a win-win, both in the short and long term.

“The fundamental unifying hypothesis of restorative practices is disarmingly simple: that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”

International Institute for Restorative Practices

Peacemaking circles and restorative practices have roots in Native and indigenous cultures. This idea of gathering face to face is not new. However, being open to the wisdom of our ancestors and of the process of circling takes intention. We have different distractions, interruptions, and challenges in our lives; thus, it takes attention and purposeful action to create a strong foundation of community within the family unit.

Restorative circles offer families a framework for having open communication and bonding opportunities. If you commit, as a family, to having a weekly Family Building Circles, coming to circle in moments of conflict or difference will feel much more comfortable. Here, I offer you the core elements of Family Building Circles, along with the philosophy behind each aspect.

Core Elements Circle + The Philosophy of the Circle:

Circle- Circles have no end and no beginning. Each person’s seat place in the circle is equal to the next person’s and you can make eye contact with everyone in the circle. All members of the family circle sit at the same level, either floor or chair. This is symbolic of shared and equal power. The circle itself indicates that all family members are worthy of the same respect; each member has the freedom and space to express themselves. “Circle” is also the name of the process of having an organized dialogue while sitting in circle.

Talking Piece- An object that can be safely and easily passed is the talking piece. It indicates that only one person will talk at a time; likewise, it denotes that all other members will actively listen when they don’t have the talking piece. The talking piece will always travel the circle in order, even if a member chooses to skip a round, which encourages focus, patience, and turn-taking. Talking pieces can be created or selected to watch the topic of each individual circle or they might be an item that the family relates to and holds dear.

Rounds– This is one pass around the circle in order. Family building circles are often pre-planned and focus on a single topic. A series of questions guide the family through intentional conversation and sharing. The talking piece regulates the round, giving each member equal opportunity to speak and be heard.

Values- What guides you and helps inform your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? What is most important to you? What do you hold dear? Family members name their values as a guide for how you will treat one another during the circle process (and moving forward from the circle). Values also establish safety norms for the conversation and the relationships.

Facilitator- All members of the family participate equally; however, one member may be the facilitator of a particular circle. The facilitator reads each prompt and helps ensure that circle norms are being respected. Facilitation is an opportunity for children to be leaders in their family.

As you begin using circles often with the intention of building family community, you will experience a growth in trust, communication, and openness. Then, when conflict arises, you already have a system and connected emotional history for dialoguing about how to transform and repair the hurt.

E-mail Courtney for a FREE template and model for a family building circle to get started!

Courtney Harris : Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here:and