Page 29 – Raising World Children

4 Ways to Make Saving Money on Grocery Fun

September 21, 2018

by Mahathi Ramya with 11 Comments America Money saving tips Voices

We all want to save money for our future. Saving money ensures financial stability and security. Because of our busy schedules, saving money on regular grocery purchases might be time-consuming and challenging. Fortunately, there are many apps which are 100% free to use on our smartphones that help in saving money. I have tried out a few of them and here is a list of 4 apps that work for me and are easy to use.

And they are such a fun way to make saving money on grocery fun. After all, who doesn’t want to use all that time on their phones for a great cause … adding to their own savings!

Receipt Hog

It is very easy to earn money with Receipt Hog. We can snap any receipt (grocery/ restaurant/ fuel bills), get points for every receipt and a few bonus points for some receipts. These points can be redeemed to gift vouchers like Amazon or restaurant gift cards or converted to cash through PayPal.

The simple design makes it easy to take a photo of the receipt in a few seconds. Since it accepts all types of receipts including fuel and restaurant bills, this app is better than all other money-saving apps. There are different levels that each user will be assigned to depending on how many receipts he/ she is submitting in a month. As we reach higher levels, we get more bonus points for each submitted receipt.

Receipt Hog is not accepting applications as of now, but keeps the new users on the wait list and will approve later. So, check for updates @ https://app.receipthog.com/portal

2. Ibotta

This app works best for regular grocery shopping. There are many apps which will give rebates/cash back for grocery purchases, but usually, the rebates will be on specific products or brands. But, the specialty of Ibotta is that it sometimes provides cash back for any purchase/ any generic purchase like any yogurt brand/ milk brand etc., A cashback of $0.25 is given for any receipt monthly twice or so. So, whatever we buy, we get cash back regularly. If we buy the specific brands recommended by them, we might get more cash back of course.

I have been using this app for 2 years and I usually get $20 gift card every 6 months. This might not be a great way of earning money, but more shopping = more cash back. Ibotta app directly shows the cash back and total in our account and when it reaches $20, we have several options to choose from. We can choose gift cards for all famous restaurants/ amazon gift cards/ gift cards from major retail stores.

Here is my referral link to sign up on Ibotta.

3. National Consumer Panel (NCP)

This is the most reliable app though it is not as easy to use as the above apps. NCP is a market research company which is a joint venture between IRi and Neilsen. When we apply and get selected for the panel, they send a scanning device. We have to scan each and every product purchased and can enter every grocery purchase through scanning device by scanning barcodes. For every grocery receipt that we scan, we earn some points and the accumulated points can be used to buy any products in NCP website/ or buy gift cards for movies/ restaurants/ clothing retailers. The process might seem tedious initially, but it will take only 5 to 10 mins of our time to scan the products and transmit the data.

When compared to other apps, we get more points for every purchase through NCP. After a few days, NCP will let us return their device and allows us to use their app to scan purchases, which is a lot easier to use by the way. After using NCP scanner for about a year, now I am using NCP mobile app. Sometimes, they also send some surveys, by answering which will give a few more bonus points.

There is no referral program as of now. Here is the link where you can apply to become a member. It might take some time to get approved as a panel member and there is a possibility that you might not be approved at all.

4. Walmart app

If you are in the USA, I assume, you do a lot of regular shopping at Walmart. You might have known that there is an app for the retailer. But, do you know that there is a feature called ‘Savings catcher’? This is the wonderful feature that can save money on regular purchases.

Savings catcher works this way –

We scan the receipt in ‘Savings catcher’ section.
Walmart compares the prices of all items we purchased at Walmart with the prices at other stores. If there is any price difference – say, Kohls has the same item for the lesser price, Walmart issues the cash back of difference amount.
If the price is less at Walmart than other stores, we might not get any cash back.
The accumulated cash back can be set up as Walmart pay and can be used for our next purchases at Walmart.

So, this feature indirectly does a price match for us. I was surprised to receive more than $40 till now from Walmart because of Savings Catcher.

So, these are the apps that help me in saving money on my regular grocery purchases. Did you try any of these? Let me know in comments.

Also, do let me know of other money-saving apps. I will be happy to try.

Mahathi Ramya is a mom of 2 boys, a blogger, software testing professional and a classical dance teacher. She writes on books, travel, and parenting. She loves writing, traveling and painting a lot. Your can find more of her work on Fantastic Feathers.

PS: This post contains a few referral links and I might receive a commission when someone signs up with those links.

The Secret to Teaching Children to Cope With Big Feelings

September 19, 2018

by Suja Dinesh with 5 Comments Education Empowerment Mindset Parenting Voices

Do you know reading stories helps children coping with feelings? Stories play a vital role in developing a child’s imagination.

Using stories you can introduce new ideas into their world. From a realistic story that talks about kids and animals to fantasy stories that talk about other planets, ogres and trolls, children’s learn to visualize it in their own way.

Stories are also useful for teaching more complex ideas, such as the importance of sharing, manners and the passage of time. And what’s so great about learning through stories is that there’s no actual teaching involved at all, they learn from simply reading the story naturally.

Rewriting Authentic Tales to Happy Endings:

Storytelling is one of the best ways to teach compassion to kids. There is no safer way for a child to learn compassion and empathy than through a book. But unfortunately, some children’s books have taken a serious turn in rewriting the authentic tales to happy endings.

There is no more gingerbread boy that gets eaten up by the fox. Happy or sad whatever the ending may be, it was perfect for the story. That’s why they were classics. Rewriting them and changing the endings kills the interesting aspects of the story.

Books, where the conflicts are always resolved with a happy ending doesn’t reflect with the range of human experience. When we share only the happy ending stories with kids we are setting up our children for false expectations of life.

If stories are all happy or idealized there is no way kids could actually experience the whole range of emotions. Trimming details and changing the ending doesn’t help your kid in any way. It actually does the opposite of hiding them from actual human experience.

At the same time, we have removed all the deadly monsters from the book, we have intensified some of the children’s movies with violent graphics and visuals.

Kids get too much exposure to what they are not supposed to know. So, story reading is again a safe place where you can read the story aloud and you can skip if the details are too intense. It’s their safe haven where they can learn about the world, new ideas and their tough emotions.

Sad Endings Teach Coping with Feelings

Happiness is a great feeling and it’s easy to cope up with. But what about fear or sorrow. Kids should feel all the emotions. No kid can cope up with a bad feeling at the moment he experiences it. Stories with sad endings are one of the safest ways to make your kids experience such emotions and slowly teach them how to cope up with such feelings.

When kids can relate to the story they read they can feel deep emotions. Fiction based on real-life characters can also help kids with their own life experience – it shows them how diverse the world is, how unique the people lives are and that some people’s lives are vastly different to theirs. Stories that contain feelings can help kids understand and accept their own feelings.

It helps them understand that there are other kids that are in similar situations who feel the same way and they are not alone.

Kids see the world in black and white. Reading a sad story with a wicked villain awakens their innate sense of justice where they try to change the situation by helping the needy. Sad stories can develop their critical thinking by making them analyze the story. Stories that talks about struggle and conflict encourage kids to develop social-emotional skills.

A good story with mixed emotions teaches kids that life can give both beautiful and awful things. It’s OK to feel hurt, it’s OK to feel scary. The more we teach our children about these emotions and feelings when they arise, they can cope up with the real world.

Sad Ending stories where the main character dies might absolutely upset some kids. Children take some time to cope up with the character loss. But it is a great way to connect with your kid. There will be too many “why” questions to understand such loss.

Sometimes it is simply an expression of sorrow. Use this opportunity to teach them that it’s OK to feel sad and show them how to cope up with overwhelming sad feelings like talking about it and hugging the loved one, etc..,

As a parent, you know your child better. So, always know your audience and think ahead before starting a read story. Make sure the story you read is age appropriate, not too scary for your kids and doesn’t have any detailed violent illustrations.

Share Stories That Resonates With A Full Range Of emotions:

We all want our child to be happy in an idealized world where everyone’s a friend. It is so tempting to raise our kids in such a world where all the conflicts are resolved with a happy ending.

But, that is totally unrealistic and its an adult expectation. Kids are always kids and it is our responsibility to let kids experience the full range of emotions and to prepare them to cope up with those feelings when they arrive.

Stories are the safe place to make them experience all those feelings especially the bad ones like sadness and fear. Sharing good stories that fascinate with new ideas, spooks with silly monsters, create wonders with an adventurous hero, elicit giggle with foolish characters and awakens justice with a wicked villain all have a place in child’s world.

Are you willing to take this journey with your kids ? Share this post with your friends.

Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.

Unstructured Play : Let Kids Unwind Organically

September 17, 2018

by Featured Guest with 10 Comments Contemporary Parenting Voices

School until 3:00pm. Soccer at 3:30 pm. Dance at 6:30 pm. Quick dinner and homework until 9:30 pm. Bedtime. Repeat. Over and over again. Check with almost any parent today, and they can recite a litany of their child’s structured activities, all designed to enrich the childhood experience. And it does. But there’s something else to consider. Time to play. Not just any play.

Unstructured-use-your-imagination-play.

Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday.

Come with me for a moment, and take a look at something I don’t see as much as I once did. Kids playing outside. Not in the community soccer club. Not at a t-ball game. Not at a swim meet. Just playing outside, on the sidewalk, with other neighborhood children.

Small communities where everyone knows everyone have an advantage here. It’s highly likely if your child is doing something amazing, one of the neighborhood parents will be there to cheer her on. It’s also likely if your child is about to try something dangerous, that same parent is probably there to add a word of caution.

Unstructured play has a name now, but it used to be an everyday occurrence.

[bctt tweet=”Being a kid is now hard work, with long hours put in everyday. Allow them to unwind organically.” username=”contactrwc”]

Letting Go is Hard But Important

Raise your hand if you remember your mom telling you to “just go out and play.” It wasn’t something anyone planned, or managed. It just was. And it still can be.

As parents, our job is to provide a safe, welcoming space.

The hard part is stepping back and allowing the kids to entertain themselves, to be bored sometimes, to use their imaginations to create something we never would consider.

Although my son had plenty of traditional toys when he was younger, his toy of choice was an old boat rope. Long enough to throw up over a tree branch, he could hold both ends and swing over imaginary dangers. Arranged on the driveway, he could create a course for his bike. With two friends, they could limbo underneath it. They could tie it to a bucket and pull snacks up to the tree house.

The possibilities were endless.

The local town park is a happening place. At first glance, there appear to be two brightly colored plastic and metal swinging, climbing, hiding structures. Not so, if you’re of a certain age. One is a castle, defending against a pirate ship. All hands are on deck. A princess calls from the castle ramparts, requesting help to save her home.

Perspective is an essential part of unstructured play.

Buckets of sidewalk chalk sit by many of the front doors in a small town. At one house, the neighbors have used chalk to craft a “welcome home” mural. There’s a hopscotch board drawn in the street. All the basketball hoops face out, next to driveways, inviting any and all to play.

Ears perk up when someone yells, “Car!” Everyone scatters to the curb and waves the car through, greeting the driver and smiling before the play resumes.

Unstructured play, by its definition, doesn’t have a to-do list. It’s a time to unplug, allow the mind to wander and think, “what if…” and then try it. If you can provide an environment and stop yourself from providing suggestions, you’ll be on the right track. If you can make it through the sighs and grumblings of “there’s nothing to do,” you’re golden.

And then, the magic begins. Go out and see for yourself. Send your kids out to play.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write

My Baby – The Cute Little Evil Eye Magnet

September 14, 2018

by Shalini Tyagi with 6 Comments Old Wives Tales Parenting Voices

I an Indian, born and brought up in a small north Indian town named Roorkee. Ours is a land where both modern and traditional way of life manage to survive hand in hand. Here medicine, science, modern technology, old wives tales and superstition all keep jostling each other for space on the same platform.

I always believed that coming from a family where education is valued above all else, I had left the ‘knock-on-wood’ world far behind. I believed this ,that is, until I thought the word “baby” out aloud.

Let me tell you having a baby is just not simply conceiving a baby and carrying to term. It is also not only delivering the baby and then focusing on keeping your sanity while raising the child.

Yes, having a baby is all this and it is also dodging landmines of dangers lurking in every corner, waiting to attack. Dangers that are above and beyond the explainable logical world.

No matter how educated or modern an average Indian family is, the minute a (much awaited) baby knocks on their world, everything changes.

[bctt tweet=”Most modern Indian families turn to old wives talesthe minute things go wrong for their bundle of joy. ” username=”contactrwc”]

I learned that an Indian baby is apparently a ‘magnet’ for all the roving evil eyes in the world. The minute I broke the news of the pregnancy to both the would-be grandmothers, all the possible dangers in the land of the evil became real.

Out came the spools of black thread, packets of chili, and salts. The only way I was allowed to step out of the house was with various threads and amulets hanging around my neck(to ward off the evil EYE) and armed with onion and garlic(to ward off evil SPIRITS ). It was at this point that I realized that I it is not just the seen that you are battling with but also the unseen.

At this point if you try to appeal to the progressive men in the family, they simply nod and go back to their newspapers. Afterall, why take a chance and it’s just chili that is being burnt and salts being thrown and neither is frightfully expensive.

Giving Birth to My Cute Evil Eye Magnet

So, after dodging all the dangers and managing to stay alive, you give birth to the precious baby. This particular tiny person has a magnetic field so strong that every roving evil eye on the planet finds it’s way directly and sticks to it.

Indian grandmothers come fitted with special antennas that come out the minute the baby is out of the womb. In a world where thousands of babies are born every second, these antennas can pick up the exact number of times their precious little person has been cast upon with the evil eye.

Even before putting clothes on the baby we put a black dot on the baby’s face. This is a very “smart” dot, which stares right back at anyone trying to cast an evil eye on the baby and provides round the clock protection.

Next level of security are the black and red threads, these come with the tag ‘protecting-babies-since-eternity’.

Only once all the security measures are in place is the baby introduced to the world. As a new mother leaving the house with the baby meant carrying the essentials like onion, garlic and of course the baby bag, might need a diaper or something.

As the world knows babies tend to fall sick, but not every sneeze, cough or crying spell can be explained through science or medicine. It might be the doing of one of the well wishers secretly casting an evil eye, and being the strong magnet that the poor little kid is, results in getting sick.

After surviving the initial zombie, new mom phase, I felt I now have the hang of things. I decided to go back to my life and was sent packing with bags full of chili along with the other security measures and the grandmothers teary eyed blessings.

Once we kind of settled down some of our friends decided to come and visit the baby. It was a pleasant evening, with us showing off our little person, until the last guest left. That was the moment the baby started crying, so we changed, fed and walked the baby. The crying turned to screaming so we checked for any fever or discomfort.

Still after one hour of trying all we can the screaming would not stop and we were on the verge of panic. We decided to pack up and run to the grandmothers and never return without one of them. That is when an alternate solution hit me and I went running for the forgotten chili and salts. Once again the unexplained rescued us. Baby just calmed down.

I have been playing part time sorceress since, as and when needed, because why take a chance. I have been surviving my mom life with the help of Google, both the grand mothers and of course the additional security measures of divine help, all in that order.

So even though none of us would call ourselves superstitious people but when it comes to our kids, we walk a very fine line. Iphones in one hand and chili in the other, we keep battling parenting. We try to balance logic with the illogical, because why would anyone want to take a chance?

Shalini Tyagi is an Indian,born and brought up in India,currently living in Dubai. She is mother of two school going children and is a stay at home mom. An avid reader, she has recently forayed into blogging to bring to light her writing skills. She hosts her own website tyagishalinid.com.

4 Secrets To Living Your Life Happy and Stress Free

September 12, 2018

by Minali Bajaj Syed with 5 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

Stress, anxiety and depression are terms that were not really heard of until a decade ago. The word ‘stress’ was used in a very generalized way to express being tired of something or doing something.

Today, we know ‘STRESS’ as the root of most ailments in the world. Yet, we as humans allow it to permeate into our daily lives. Living stress free is the ultimate goal!

Self Assessment With Gratitude

Do you wonder why the people around you are always agitated? Do you pause to think why your kids seem so perturbed?

‘YOU’ could possibly be the reason of their behavior. Our mood swings, our anxiety over trivial issues, our anger are all seen, felt and reflected.

Most of us are guilty of that but isn’t it a little unrealistic to expect others around us to be positive and happy? Now really, if you’re having a bad day and have not managed to smile all day, would you really blame your spouse for not being there or not talking two sweet words to you, while YOU are sulking and drowning yourself in negativity.

SOLUTION : Kick starting our day with a positive and clear mind will make us and the people around us feel joyful and content. Showing gratitude to our spouse and children will make their entire day. Learning to let go off small issues to maintain peace in our relationships, goes a long way. We can pray, meditate, listen to some soothing music, practice yoga or take a walk to keep all those cynical thoughts at bay (or rather away!)

Set Realistic Goals

Most students and their parents dread that time of the year when the exams and results are declared. Sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and anxiousness takes over. Then comes the D-Day and what happens after that? Doesn’t life just go on? Unfortunately, these days we also get to hear of people ending their lives over not meeting their family’s or their own expectations. Sadly, peer pressure is taking a huge toll on children and adults alike.

Years ago, when I was going down in the elevator with my neighbor’s high school goer, I asked him what he plans to do after his high school. With a dejected look he said, “I am very passionate about cricket and want to play cricket for India. But my father has said that I should only think of engineering and nothing else.”

I was really sad to see his despair. That day I promised myself that when I become a parent, I would let my child follow their passion and always support them in their choices within reason. I really wish that all parents could understand their children’s feelings, goals and aspirations better.

SOLUTION : We are seeing a generation who are coercing themselves to go beyond what is achievable. That doesn’t mean we should not aim higher or aspire for the better. But we should also learn to set realistic goals and work towards achieving them. We need to focus on giving our cent-percent and stop worrying about the outcome and result.

Step Out of The Rat Race Of Life

A few months ago an Indian movie called ‘Hindi Medium’ had released. The movie was based upon a metropolitan couple, who did not have a great command over the English language but wished to send their daughter to an elite International school. They wanted her to be everything they were not. The movie further depicts their dejection and the turmoil they go through, to ensure a guaranteed admission of their child into a prestigious school. It was a great movie but I thought it was a little far-fetched.

To my surprise (rather shock!) when I came to India for a vacation, I realized that the issue addressed in this movie was actually a reality. Conversations with friends and family pointed out to one common thing, i.e the competition is way too much.

Children attend school all day and have numerous classes planned out for the remaining hours for the whole week. Do you think kindergartners really need to attend extra classes for general knowledge, football, swimming, etc.

As if this wasn’t appalling enough, I had a friend tell me that she is going crazy trying to get an admission form for her 8 month old son. I asked her why is she fussing over school so soon. It seems like the norm to apply for kindergarten admission is when you are pregnant or just deliver your child (believe me, I was as surprised as you are reading this!) Fast forward to two weeks later, when I met her she seemed relaxed and content. She finally acquired an admission form from the school she plans to send her child to. He starts school in 2020!! I rest my case.

SOLUTION : Back in our day, we attended school and everything else was learned, absorbed or picked up from our daily lives. We increased our general knowledge by reading newspapers and encyclopedias. Swimming meant time to go to the beach. Most activities were unstructured and that was the best part about it. Today, even learning a new sport or language feels like an ADDED STRESS to the child because it has to revolve around his/her and the parents’ busy schedules.

Remember We Are Being Watched

As adults we stress over finding the right partner, getting married, paying the bills, having kids, raising kids, getting a high-salary job, making the perfect house and so much more. We need to realize that habitually stressing over something might be rubbing off on our kids and the people around us too.

Unknowingly, this may affect our kids and they might imbibe it into their subconscious. The repercussion of this is that they will grow to be adults with a low self-esteem, no self-worth, have anger and anxiety issues, and will be dismissive of life.

Every parent in this world only wishes the best for their child. Pressurizing kids to overachieve might seem what’s right for now but it actually does not enable them to be self starters.

SOLUTION : The focus needs to be on encouraging and appreciating our children for their efforts, for pushing them towards self-learning, for teaching them to rise above every shortcoming and to accept failures as a part of life and move ahead. We need to stop cushioning them and allow them to fail or fall back in a few of their endeavors. And unless we lead the way, how else would they learn to take responsibility?

A few marks up or down or a few thousands here or there, will not matter in shaping us to who we become eventually. Scoring a 100% or raking in a six-figure salary CANNOT guarantee a stress-free happy life.

Being content and grateful with what we have and being confident of ourselves, while accepting our flaws, will definitely make us appreciate our lives more.

Stop the fuss, eliminate the stress and enjoy the adrenaline rush of this wonderful roller-coaster called LIFE. For we can all get on this ride only ONCE! And if you’re still not satisfied, then remember that ‘stressed’ read backwards is ‘desserts’. So go grab a bite or a whole cake…whatever makes you feel better!!

Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, She has had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. She thus, considers herself a global citizen. She is always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivism. On most days, she is a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom

A Glimpse of Reykjavik, Iceland

September 10, 2018

by Featured Guest with 6 Comments Travel Voices

Back in February 2016 I followed my heart and relocated to Reykjavik to join my Viking. A new city, a new adventure, so I decided to keep a video diary, recording and uploading a new vlog to my Youtube channel each week. In the last year I have made Reykjavik my home and consider myself very lucky to be surrounded by such dramatic and picturesque landscapes. So today I share a little of this city with you in my highlights and recommendations.

Walking Tour

There are a few free walking tours in Reykjavik you can do, or you can just go off and do your own. Start at The Sun Voyager and walk along the coast to Harpa, then head towards the Parliament and its public square. If you’re hungry, why not try the local hot dog stand, Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur for a yummy hot dog, maybe a bowl of lobster soup at Sægreifinn or one of the trendy spots such as The Laundromat Cafe. Continue walking towards the pond lined with cute Icelandic houses, the very Scandinavian church Fríkirkjan í Reykjavík and the modern City Hall.

From here, cross Fríkirkjuvegur and walk up the side street (taking in the street art) until you arrive at the magnificent Hallgrímskirkja church, inspired by flowing lava. You can buy a ticket to gain access to the top of the spire for a view across the city or drive up to the city’s water towers at Perlan for a free view. Walking around, you might spot some small statues and toy soldiers on top of street signs, so keep an eye out for them. Finally walk down the main street of Skólavörðustígur which joins the main shopping street of Laugavegur before you get back to Harpa.

Botanical Gardens

The botanical gardens are a wonderful space near where we live. If the weather allows, you can spend a morning wandering the paths and heading towards the allotment where you’ll find a fantastic cafe where you can sip a coffee and nibble on a homemade treat in the beautiful greenhouse. You can also head to the nearby swimming pool at Laugardalslaug and experience the different hot pools here, including a salt water pool which has heated sea water.

Grótta lighthouse and hot pool

Ever fancied a stroll along a black sand beach? Ice cream in hand and feet in a natural hot tub – or all bundled up with the reward of a hot chocolate after?! Head to Grótta, an easy 10 minute drive along the coast from Reykjaviks Harbour and take in the view across to Esjan. If it’s sunny, why not grab an ice cream from Valdis in Grandi on your way there.

Viðey Island

A short ferry ride from Reykjavik harbour is the island of Viðey (summer ferries leave daily from Skarfabakki, Harpa, and Aegisgardur pier and in winter ferry from Skarfabakki weekends only). The island was where the ‘father of Reykjavík’ Skuli Magnusson constructed his home and a church in the 12th Century and has archaeological remains from the early 10th Century. On this island is the ‘Imagine Peace’ tower, a beam of light which shines high into the nights sky from a wishing well bearing the words “imagine peace” in 24 languages. Designed by Yoko Ono, widow of John Lennon, it is lit annually between his birthday and his death: 9th Oct – 8th Dec.

Iceland has a little piece of my heart and in return she has given me dark, magical and snowy winters filled with breathtaking Northern Lights, and long, light summers with plenty of hours to explore. And we can’t forget about my Viking and our own Saga as we prepare to marry this summer.

Sonia Nicolson is a British chartered Architect and Senior Academic who runs the website layoutlines.com supporting, educating and inspiring students, young designs and creative entrepreneurs. Relocating to Reykjavik in Iceland last February, Sonia joined her Icelandic fiancé and shares weekly ‘Living in Iceland’ vlogs on her YouTube channel. You can follow her on Twitter @layoutlines

10 Ways to Integrate Your Support System into Daily Living

September 7, 2018

by Courtney Harris with 12 Comments Contemporary Voices

Who is your support system? The people you call on the toughest of days? What do you turn to for comfort when you are stressed out? Where can you go to get relief and peace when life feels chaotic?

The answers to these questions are important parts of your unique support system. A support system is a catalog of resources that offer you practical and/or emotional support. More specifically, these are people, places, and things that bolster you.

I recently published a guide for teens to build their support networks. This article (and free downloadable map) is equally applicable and supportive for parents and caregivers, and it’s a common part of the work I do with clients. Thus, I invite you to explore this tool, too, and brainstorm and create your unique support system.

I encourage you to keep this living document somewhere you will be able to see it and access it with ease. Reflect: Can you remember the last time you felt overwhelmed and unable to take the next step, or even figure the next step out? This trapped feeling can be tough to get out of. However, the closer we keep our tools and supports, the more frequently we are reminded of the resources around us, and the easier it will be for us to reach out and ask for help.

Parents, especially parents of teens and emerging adults, often share that they feel isolated. Once school drop-offs and play dates are things of the past, parents and caregivers tend to have fewer organic opportunities to interact with one another. This feeling of isolation is an opportunity to build and maintain your systems of support– an important aspect of self-care.

Developing a Support System

Recently, I have become more observant of the ways that I use my own support system, and I’m excited to share how this network has served me. When I brainstormed my own system, I sat with some of the words that I use to describe myself: highly sensitive, empathic, introvert, anxious, curious, detail-oriented, antsy, creative, and so on. As I considered each of these traits, I asked “What brings me comfort? What brings me stability?” Then, I generated broad lists and ideas for supports that were already in place, as well as supprots I wanted to integrate.

Today, I’m sharing some of the specific ways I use my support network to inform daily and weekly practices. These ideas are meant to be examples for you to consider and explore as you dig deep into your own needs and preferences for support. I invite you to edit, revise, revision, and recreate your own map of supports and structures for including these into your regular practices.

10 Ways to Integrate Your Support System into Daily Living

Slow Down. I notice that I feel most supported when I am not rushed. When I take the time to transition from place to place or role to role, I feel more grounded. Observe your transitions and find ways to slow down throughout the shifts you endure daily.
Accountability Partners: I talk with my accountability partner weekly for 20-30 minutes each Friday. We cover celebrations and accomplishments for the week and set goals for the coming week. Explore an accountability relationship with a friend or colleague! Email me for more info on how to get started.
Top 3: When I have a work-related situation that I don’t know how to solve, I have 3 close friends who are also solopreneurs that I can contact to share, brainstorm, and create a plan. When I face depression, I reach out to my partner, my sister, and a close friend. Consider having a top 3 list for personal life, as well as work life.
Shared Interest Groups: I meet weekly with my writing group. We are building a culture of support, resource sharing, and feedback around our work as writers. This helps me know that I am not in isolation as I do my creative work. Join groups of people who have similar interests and projects as you.
Scheduled Self-Care: Yoga and walking in nature support me in feeling strong in my mind. I set aside time for these activities (and others– like baths, reading Young Adult fiction, and meditation) because they help me refuel. Plan time for the self-care activities or your choice.
Structured AND Unstructured Family Time: Each week, my partner and I typically designate two “date” nights. This is time that we are dedicating to one another and to our relationship. While we don’t always have plans and rarely leave the house, we have a plan to be with one another. This gives us plenty of other time to connect spontaneously or to work on our individual projects. Explore supports like family meetings, movie night, or walk and talks with your family members. Be mindful of leaving plenty of downtime in the weekly calendar too.
Less is More. Whenever I notice that I am overwhelmed, I (attempt to) stop adding to my plate. I also check the calendar to see if there is anything extra or unnecessary that I can eliminate. I’m finding more and more that a “no” can really be the biggest “yes” to myself and my mental health. Know that it’s okay to say no, to cancel plans, or to decide not to add anything else to your to-do list.
Professional Supports: I’ve always been an advocate for seeking the help of professionals, from therapists, to coaches, to yoga teachers, to acupuncturists, to doctors, to editors. I spend time curating my list of professional supports and depending on my needs in a given season, I prioritize different appointments. Seek professional supports that align with your values and needs (including insurance, location, and services). Don’t be afraid to “shop around” until you find a great fit.
Happy spaces and places: I travel to happy space figuratively through safe place meditations. I also know that a nearby trail and green space always brings me comfort, as does a bookstore or library. Identify the space and places that can help you shift your energy and find a sense of safety.
Screen-time Limits: Because so much of my work and communication involves screens, I can become overly exhausted and unable to focus. This leaves me switching between tabs or apps and in the end, I feel like I accomplish very little. When I set timers or myself, limiting my time on a given task and setting an intention to attend to one task, I feel more efficient and calm. Set limits for your technology usage. Be curious about the amount of time that feels healthiest and most enjoyable for you; let this inform your limit-setting.

It is my wish that you leave this article with new ideas and awarenesses for building and maintaining your unique support system. Get your free guide and support system map here to help you begin this process. Furthermore, I invite you to share this process and practice with your family. Noramlize asking for help and utilizing resources. We are all in this together.

I’m here to support, and I can’t wait to hear about and learn from your unique map!

As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care and growing alongside their children. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

7 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew

September 5, 2018

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 10 Comments Education Empowerment Schools Voices

I am part of a lot of mom groups. A few of them are of course focused on early education or future academic. And the most common thing I notice is how worried parents are. Every parent tries every possible avenue they think can be used, to give their child the extra edge to succeed in the world.

This worry is inherent in us as parents and something I personally face daily. But how much of it is a valid concern? Are we worrying about the right aspect of our child’s development?

According to my son’s teacher from first grade last year, ‘parents really do not need to be so anxious (namely me 🙂 ). She told me how the extra classes kids take these days are not even necessary and actually hampered her teaching at school and the child’s over all development. What was more important was kids to play freely and learn essential life skills before entering school system. The outdoors in fact is a better learning atmosphere at an early age.’

This led to the below conversation, when I called my mother in law to wish her Happy Teachers Day today. Geeta Singh, a prolific educator who has been teaching since January of 1985, for over 34 years and has been a principal of two schools for over 7+ years. A truly inspiring influence on the many lives she has touched during her teaching career and much loved by every student she comes across.

She spoke about how the education system today has taken much of the power away from the teachers. In the 80s and 90s, teachers had much more influence over students since they could provide appropriate consequences. But with changing time and the evolution of the education system, now it a LOT more the parents who have to support the teachers in the right way to help shape their kids growth.

Yet, not in the way parents think. Society today is very misconstrued about what every child truly needs in their early years and even in the later years.

Here are the 7 universal things she knows first hand as an educator, all teachers wish parents knew.

Take Time to Understand Your Child

Children are all born a certain way. There is a nature that your child is born with, which needs to be accepted. Your dreams and hopes do no define your child. What needs to actually happen is for you to take the time to actually observe your child and take in who they are before molding them into what you think they should become. This is where play time, long walks and conversations with your children come in. Spend time with your child without purpose to better get a sense of who they are.

This is a great tool which will show you where your child is meant to excel in. Do not blame teachers or even your child for not doing well in a certain subject. They just may not be inclined towards it naturally. It’s not that your child is not intelligent enough. They just are interested in other subjects and will perform in those.

Learn to Question Your Child’s Motive

We as parents tend to trust our children blindly. Often children say things that aren’t really true. The source of this lies in many factors. Not to say that the child is bad but maybe they are experiencing feelings they cannot verbalize in the right way.

When your child says something about teachers at school or peers even, take the time to analyse what they are saying. Ask probing questions and calmly try to understand what your own child’s version might be in relaying said conversation to you. School is a different environment where a child experiences varied emotions and thus they tend to be a version of themselves parents do not often see. Before taking any rash decision based on your child’s words, understand what might have happened.

And in case of conflict, converse with the teacher, not accuse her.

Make a Habit of Looking At Your Child’s Bag

When kids come to school, they begin to think of their school bag as their private space. Since the beginning of school years, make it a habit to be the one to take out your child’s homework so you always know what is inside your child’s bag. As the kids get older and bolder, their bag becomes the place which they can use to hide things they do not want parents to see.

Teach Your Kids About Hygiene & Presentation Early

It is unfortunate when kids are not taught the importance of presentation early. Outer appearance is a reflection of the person inside. Do not teach your kids to be flashy. But educate them about basic cleanliness concepts and how to dress for any given occasion. This is something many parents fail to teach their kids. Respecting and taking care of your bag, shoes, clothes, accessories and self is something that should be imparted early.

Encourage Your Child Towards Extra Curricular Activities

Specially in their later years. In life, how one utilizes leisure time is very important. Kids need to know that they can work on their passion projects. Many adults today spend their time watching TV/ browsing phones since they do not know how to creatively spend their free time. Be an example for your child in this matter.

Sports and art are a very important part of every child’s growth into adulthood. It is unfortunate that over time, specially as kids get older parents stop supporting extra curricular activities, even monetarily at school. This is detrimental not only to every child’s growth but specially to those kids who excel in a certain art form. Help your child encourage their preferred art work in any way possible.

Your Child’s Grade is NOT Everything.

Your child has varied interests. Not every child is going to excel academically. Or in every subject. And that needs to be okay too. This is NOT failure in any form. When parents put kids early into extra classes and apply pressure for academics, it makes the child peak and burn out soon. This hampers their future in a way many parents do not foresee. Let your child grow in the way they are meant to. No one cares what your child’s second grade position is.

What is in fact needed is the teaching of all round growth.

Knowledge
Understanding
Application
Skill

What a screw is and it’s use once taught is understanding. But the actual applications of screw at home and making use of it in day to day life is skill development. How to apply knowledge what is more important. Instead of sending kids for academic classes after school show them the ways in which what they have learnt gets applied in their day to day life. Mark sheets are no guide to real life.

Nurture Your Child’s Moral Growth

This is something parents need to focus on more at home and teach ways in which kids can be kind to their peers and teachers at school. Helping others gives everyone a better sense of self worth, that is severely lacking in today’s child driven society. Parents are so way focused on academics that they lose sight of teaching kids how to go that extra mile for another human being. And that is a major reason for negative experiences by students at school.

In addition to this, it is very important it is for everyone to honor teachers in every form. Not just the ones at school, but their parents who are the first teachers of every child, family members and friends who help teach us many of life’s important lessons.

After this conversation, I found another great resource that spoke about this very same topic.

Are you a teacher reading this?

What would you add to this prolific teacher’s list of things parents should be aware of?

7 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew #HappyTeachersDay #TeachersDay #education #kids #teaching — Like This Post. Share With Friends.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”. Her own book Strong Roots Have No Fear comes out soon.

Sri Varalakshmi Vratham – A Festival to Appease Goddess Lakshmi

September 3, 2018

by Mahathi Ramya with 6 Comments America festivals festivals India Voices

Varalakshmi Vratham is a Pooja mainly observed by married women in Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka and Tamilnadu regions in India in the holy month of “Sravanam” as per Hindu Calendar.

What Maayeka Really Means To An Indian Girl

Raising my Indian Daughter Differently

August 31, 2018

by Suja Dinesh with 15 Comments Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

The Indian value system is quite complex. On the one hand they have great core values like parents always standing by their children in every life situation and promoting joint family living situation. On the other hand every Indian Daughter is subconsciously taught that our contribution to society is valuable only in the context of wife and mother.

Being from a moderate yet conservative family, My life was not an exception., My parents tried their best to raise me well by providing for my many needs. I was happy with the choices they made for me.

To their credit, they tried to keep themselves update with the ever changing society norms. I was blessed with a perfect family with full of love and joy but there was always a subtle criticism involved when it came to some of my behavior and attitudes.

Even the best parents will yell at their daughters if they are sleeping past 9 a.m, laughing out so loud or being to social in the crowd because they think it is not appropriate.

” What will your future in-laws think of you and the way we have raised you “ was a frequent lament!

My Story

When the marriage topic was began for me at age 23, I felt I was in a different world altogether. I saw a completely different side to my mother. There are other families where getting married gets discussed when the daughter turns 21. I guess it’s fine, at the least you were be free for 21 years, sort of.

Yes, my in-laws are so sweet and caring and I never felt feared being myself around them. Initially though I cared for them because “in laws are your own family now. They come first and should get all the love and respect the second you become a wife. “ Thank god after some days I realized they really deserved it all for treating me like a daughter.

It’s like they were not only worried about society but also the future family I was going to get married. Our story is not unique though and unfortunately, many girls get influenced by this thinking. There are other families where getting married gets discussed when the daughter turns 21. I guess it’s fine, at the least you were be free for 21 years, sort of.

Raising My Indian Daughter Differently

Girls are taught to take up as little room as possible in this world, not just physically, but also in the way they speak, laugh and assert themselves. When I had my daughter I decided to parent her differently.

- If my daughter wants to play cricket in the street with boys, if she loves to climb trees or to laugh loudly or be boisterous, I will never stop her. I will trust my kid forever.
- I will wish to stand by her side in all situations. I will not accuse her of bringing shame to my family whenever she does something unreasonable.
- I will never ask her to put her passions and dreams on the back burner for getting married.
- I will not ask her bear a child within the so-called time limit of 28 years.
- She will be valued for the same reasons as every son for their intelligence, strength, creativity and passion.

[bctt tweet=”Indian girls are taught to take up as little room as possible in this world, not just physically.” username=”contactrwc”]

If the parents like us don’t see our son and daughter as equal then how will the society see and treat our girls equal? Especially during the marriage phase, I don’t want to intimidate my daughter and make her feel that her husband’s family are so different and she have to convince them in each situation. I need to teach her what marriage is all about and how lovely it is to be getting married and taking care of the family. Naturally she going to be an endearing daughter in law.

I want her to know self-love is the best thing she can do to herself. It is the greatest love of all. To show respect to everyone and their feelings regardless of their age is a basic quality she should never give up.

With these values she will surely grow to be of strong character. What else do you think I can do differently to empower her?

Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.

Haley’s Friendship Challenge: Interview with Author Louie Lawent

August 27, 2018

by Featured Guest with 7 Comments Books Kids Corner Mindset Voices

Topaz Publishing has just released a new children’s book. “Haley’s Friendship Challenge” is a beautifully illustrated story about a girl who moves to a new town. Unfortunately, she isn’t fitting in and she misses her old friends. For her birthday, Haley receives a much-coveted surprise that she shares with no one. However, her feelings change when she feels empathy for a neighborhood dog that has also lost her pals. After weeks of loneliness, Haley realizes that things are not getting better for either of them; it’s time to make new friends.

Interestingly, a few weeks ago before I found out about this book, I had contacted Dr. Marcie to ask her questions about how to help me six-year-old boy make friends. You can find that interview here

Coming back to the book, I had the opportunity to interview the author of this book, Louie Lawent which I wanted to share with you below.

Tell us more about why you picked this subject? Was it a real-life influence?

Ideas frequently pop into my head as I take long walks. I talk to myself when walking because the walk would be too boring if I didn’t. I get ideas from songs, films, observations and talking to myself because thoughts lead to other thoughts. When I was in elementary school I made friends easily. One night my parents had a party. One of my classmate’s mom thanked me in a private conversation for inviting her son to my birthday party. He was very shy and I don’t think he had many friends so this showed me the importance of inclusion. How a simple thing like being invited to a party can mean so much.

What was the hardest part about writing this book?

I say this in a dark humor way, but getting it published was the hardest. Now, that’s not answering the question but writing the story was a smooth flow.

What kind of research did you do while writing this book?

The challenge of the new kid in town making new friends is easily understood by just being a person who observes so I didn’t need to do research for this particular book. I used my imagination by injecting a neighborhood dog into the story so the girl in the story who has been reluctant to make friends can see how a dog she adores reacts when the dog also has lost friends. Will the dog and Haley make new friends? That’s what the reader will find out.

What influenced you to become a children’s book author?

I wanted to write children’s stories ever since a friend and I wrote funny stories in 3rd grade. In 4th grade I created a story about “Gerty the Pig” which years later became an illustrated children’s book which is in schools across the U.S. in the National Accelerated Readers Program. I would like it to become a series. I’ve written 5 more Gerty stories. They’re hilarious. I need a publisher for those.

What is most rewarding about for being an author?

The most rewarding moments are when children tell me how much they like it.

What are your top 3 favorite books of all times? What are your top 3 favorite children’s books of all times?

My favorites are 1. Case Closed by Gerald Posner

2. How To Read The Bible by James Kugel. 3. Abuse of Power: The New Nixon Tapes by Stanley Kutler

When I was in elementary school I enjoyed reading books about Ben Franklin and Martin Luther King Jr. I also enjoyed the Nancy Drew Mysteries. I liked “Benny’s Flag” by Phyllis Krasilovsky so much that I printed out the whole book in long hand. A more recent favorite is “Henry The Blowfish” bu Howard Morlan.

Do you have any words of wisdom for young parents of the children of the world?

Let your children follow their passions. A person will never be fulfilled if they settle.

Please tell us more about some of your upcoming projects.

I am also a lyricist so I’ll keep writing and be collaborating with composers. But right now my prime objective is trying to make “Haley’s Friendship Challenge” a success. Hopefully, your readers will order a copy, enjoy it with the young people in their lives and let others know so they will want it to be in their homes too!

About the Author of Haley’s Friendship Challenge

Louie Lawent is the author of the children’s picture book “Gerty the Pig” which is in school systems across the U.S. The book is in the National Accelerated Readers program. His co-written song “Strangely Beautiful” was featured in the TV show “Famous In Love” and my co-write “Angels Of The New Millennium” was licensed to the TV show “Full Circle.” Ten of his co-writers were on Steve Goodie’s kid’s album “Refrigerator Art” CD. His co-write “One More Father’s Son” which is about a homeless veteran is on Grammy winner DL Byron’s “Satori” CD. “Slippery Forces” is on Boz Boorer’s CD “Some Of The Parts.” There’s a really cool video of “Slippery Forces” on youtube. He has numerous other song co-writes. He is an excellent ping-pong player and love to play beach volleyball. He is also a big time fan of the Green Bay Packers.

Sneha J is a mom of two boys and a true multi-passionate at heart. She is a Certified Neuro-Transformational Results Coach, a Master Reiki Practitioner, Tarot Enthusiast and a Mom Blogger. She has a Masters Degree in Manufacturing Systems Engineering from North Carolina State University. She is also a Mindfulness Enthusiast. Being brought up in an Indian culture, spirituality and meditations were part of growing up. After working in a very masculine manufacturing environment for 10+ years, she decided to change paths and explore her true passion. She is deeply inspired to use public platforms to spread the message of conscious connections and less stress in the world. To learn more about her visit stresslesswithsnehaj.com

This post contains affiliate links. The views and opinions are of the author of the piece.

“102 Not Out” Celebrates the Very Spirit of Parenting

August 24, 2018

by Malvika Roy Singh with 5 Comments Movie Movies Voices

102 Not Out is a great example of once a parent, always a parent!

Parenting is a lifelong project, where the focus is on raising independent children, who are capable of leading lives with joy and happiness independently, without any external support (including parents).

The idea for me as a mother completely resonated, when I watched a 102 year old Dattareya Vakhria (role immaculately essayed by Amitabh Bachchan) fighting tooth and nail, through a series of comic challenges thrust upon, his already old and senile 75 year old son Babu (played perfectly by Rishi Kapoor), to instill the value of self-dependence and finding joy within.

Dattareya for this understands that he has to set the right example by living a similar life first and so he does. He believes in living life each day, without any grudge or repentance. His mission in life is to break the only living man’s record ( a Chinese who is 118 year old).To fulfill the goal, Dattareya needs to be happy, calm and composed, which he believes he will not be able to with his boring, ever cribbing and complaining son, who makes morose out of every situation. For the sake of this, he comes up with his ingenious plan of sending his son to an old age home.

What follows is a series of funny moments translating into moments that help you reflect on your ideologies as a parent and question your parenting spirit. If god forbid, we survived and lived up to 102, will we have first, this zeal in life? And second, will we be able to spread it around so that our kids absorb it from us?

From Dattareya’s character one thing is for sure that as a parent, you need to love yourself first, so as to be able to think of your kids’ and their well being. As a parent, Amitabh’s character touched upon several aspects of parents, starting with self-love to providing the right guidance to his child (age no bar) by hook or crook.

What was endearing was that even at the ripe age of 102, Dattareya continued to parent his son, guiding him, or rather forcing him to get back on the track to lead a happy life.

He shows or rather sets an example that how as a parent, you always have to extend support to your child, to help him gain strength and confidence in himself, at every age and stage of life.

Dattareya was a man, who was hell bent to see his child, lead a happy life, sans all false dependence. He strives to make his son capable to live his life alone, to develop a positive attitude to life and everything around.

It was this spirit of Dattreya that made him “102 Not Out”! He truly showed the essence of being a positive parent, where age was no bar.

This movie is a must watch for all parents. Right from parents, who feel parenting is a short time project and they don’t need to extend any help, post children growing to a certain age, to those who resonate with the idea (this will stem the belief stronger), this movie transitions through phases of parenting and eventually teaches that as a parent, the guiding has to flow from you at every stage.

As a parent I would remain restless, till the time my son doesn’t get the idea of living right! After all, this is most important responsibility of me, as a parent.

If tomorrow, I see my child living a happy life (both physically and emotionally), gratitude filled and joyful life on his own, I will definitely give myself “a successful parent” award! Then maybe, I can would feel that I did a great job!

Malvika Roy Singh A freelance creative writer and blogger for the past 7 years, Malvika Roy SIngh writes about subjects like travel, food, lifestyle, health, interior designing, real estate, digital entertainment, media and marketing, education etc. Her parenting blog helps her be a conscious parent (www.wipmom.com) When she is not writing, she can be found either running or playing with her 4 year old son enjoying time reading. She resides in Hyderabad and can be reached at mroysingh@gmail.com

The Subtle Art of Being Grateful

August 22, 2018

by Shalini Tyagi with 6 Comments Empowerment Parenting Voices

Experiencing a myriad of emotions everyday, how often do you feel grateful?

What Role Spirituality Plays in Our Parenting

August 17, 2018

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 6 Comments Heritage Parenting Voices

When I was younger, I came to a point of despair when I thought, “It is impossible that God exists. Why would this be happening at all?”

Indian mythology too is quite difficult to understand for the lay person. I questioned the Ramayan for having an avatar of God that left his wife. I questioned the Mahabharat for having characters so flawed and self serving. I wondered how can there be justice when the Gods themselves make hasty and often destructive decisions.

I judged them all, and myself. I felt ashamed of my failures and decisions. I felt sorry for myself and wondered if I was even deserving of happiness. Being far from family and no faith left to hold onto, I struggled.

One day though as while exchanging emails with a cherished friend, she wrote a simple sentence .

“ God is a forgiving God. “

And my life changed. That one simple thought brought me peace. If I could hold onto that belief then I could forgive my own mistakes. If God could forgive me and accept me as I am, so could those closest to me.

With that thought, I walked the path of self acceptance. And with that came the strength to stand tall once again.

And when I re read those stories of long ago, I realized Indian mythology is beautiful when you interpret them as stories. That Gods too make mistakes when in human form and that is okay. Those stories are not a source of ideology but a treasure trove of real world values. They teach us to accept the world and act to the best of our karma.

Over the years, those stories and the many, many books I have read and continue to read have slowly but surely helped me discover my own spiritual being.

It is very easy to get lost in the many ups and downs of life. But once you build a personal belief system that you can go back to refer to, most decisions do not seem that difficult to make.

Of course, having hit rock bottom, the only place left to go was up. And that is where my spirit led me.

Role Spirituality Plays

Finding Strength In Faith

I have always said, “I’m more spiritual than religious. “

For me, spirituality is the belief that there is a higher power that resides all around us and within us that guides us at all times, holding us accountable to ourselves.

A core belief system independent of religion. Being a good person above all, accepting people’s choices and mistakes(even my own), valuing people (time, energy and deeds) and appreciating all that I have with a heart filled with gratitude.

The first to accept my idealistic nature, I also accept not everyone has the same value system and that above all is essential.

What is faith but the belief that there is hope no matter what the situation you are in? That you believe in something bigger than yourself. When someone is in despair, the smallest sliver of hope is enough to buoy their spirit and carry them through the toughest journeys.

Now, with the conviction of faith in the beauty of all around us, I have the super power to look at the silver lining of the worst situations.

My spiritual compass helps me navigate my life with my kids, knowing when my decisions regarding them are right or wrong. Knowing when to forgive myself, my mishaps and when to hold strong in the face of tragedy.

To understand how to counter my relationships, when things go wrong and how to better understand when someone is judging my every move. To help my kids avoid the loss of faith when pitfalls arise. To guide them better towards a stronger self.

How Do I Pass On My Spirituality?

In today’s fast paced, social media crazy, photo frenzied world, it is more important that ever to have the next generation grounded and in touch with their true inner self. To have a sense of self awareness.

Indian culture is full of customs and traditions. I enjoy sharing them all with my children to teach them the joy their origins. But above all, I wish my children to discover the spiritual side of their being so that they have a strong value system to guide them and faith to hold onto in times of despair.

To that end, I pass on interpretations of these age old stories to my children. Explaining to them the human aspect to them, encouraging questions and accepting their disappointments at face value.

I teach my children about the world. We have conversations about people and the many problems different kinds of people face.

Reading and dialogue have been my way to finding the spiritual aspect of my being and I share these with my children to hold them steadfast in all their joys and sorrows.

Aditi Wardhan Singh, founder and chief editor of Raising World Children online magazine is a mom of two adorable kids, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place which led her to specialize in writing about cultural sensitivity when parenting. She writes for a number of large publications, including Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmond Moms Blog, Richmond Family Magazine, Desh Videsh. She has also been featured as a parenting expert on NBC. A computer engineer by profession, she turned entrepreneur by founding Raising World Children online magazine. At RWC, she is bringing voices from around the world together to talk about the synergy of today’s cultures with world heritage. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. . She has also contributed to the best selling anthology “When You Are Done Expecting” and is coming out with her new book “Strong Roots Have No Fear. ”

Learn Patriotism from “Calling Sehmat” – Harinder Sikka

August 15, 2018

by Malvika Roy Singh with 8 Comments Books Review Voices

learn patriotism

Very few books have elements of spying, patriotism, courage, guilt and remorse all under the same roof! “Calling Sehmat” just walks the tightrope, balancing all these elements of humane psyche with finesse.

It was actually the movie, which fueled my interest to go behind finding the actual book.

“Calling Sehmat” was a fine revelation and all thanks to Harinder Sikka, the author, who took the pains, to chalk out the life of the protagonist, pre and post her life as a spy, by researching about the character’s life for a period of 8 years!

It isn’t easy for a young twenty year old girl, to surrender all her dreams, her love, to only fulfill the vision of her parents, which is protecting the country. This level of parental devotion or rather patriotism towards one’s country is initially thought as stupid or rather far-fetched, but for a young girl, for whom this also was a dying father’s last wish, the act made sense.

Considering that the book is inspired from a real life hero, whose name is chosen to be kept as anonymous with just a pen name “Sehmat”, I would take this opportunity to call her as truly heroic, courageous and above all, a gem of a human being.

What she did was unfathomable! Not many trained spies could do that, and live to tell the tale, but she did!

Being a Kashmiri Indian girl, Sehmat was married and sent to Pakistan, to serve as an Indian Spy. The plot and story line is what makes the plot gripping and on the edge all the times.

Sehmat’s unfettered attention and observation to detail to plot schemes and strategies, to get into the good books of her Pakistani marital household, coupled with her attempts to dodge the eyes of suspects, is what makes this book a real thriller.

The book gets its pace, post the main protagonist’s arrival in Pakistan. The way, she uncovers secrets, finds resources and transmits messages, all in the garb of a newlywed innocent daughter-in-law, is surprising and nothing less than brave. Her pretentious act of being a good wife, and a daughter-in-law, with the underlying hidden motive of extracting information for Indian counterparts is flawless, brave and above all, mind blowing.

However, since Sehmat was not a trained spy, her character has been shown as vulnerable, especially in the moments of pain and hurt. Her acts of crime and killings are brutal and chilling, but they simultaneously show the humane side of her, pain and remorse envelop her heart with guilt. However, her spy mind is always at work and this contradiction of her ruthlessness as a spy versus the simplicity and love for life as a human, is what makes the tale interesting.

Killings and crimes come with a price, which was also quoted for Sehmat. Although, post her stint as a spy, she led a life away from the prying eyes of government, but she couldn’t escape her own. Her own guilt and remorse led her to live a life in isolation, almost on the edge of going insane. The pain and remorse was something that even prevented her to take care of her own child, something that simply added to her woes. She could never have a normal mother-son relationship, something which even the author confessed.

Her coming back to life via the route of spirituality was touching and heartfelt. In short, her life was brave and courageous, not just replete with patriotism and devotion towards her own country, but also marked with respect for every human who touched her life, whether Indian or Pakistani.

Her re-settling in Maler Kotla, a small city in Punjab, post her “Spy” days, said it all. While her act of spying was to respect her father’s, an Indian’s wishes, her settling in Maler Kotla, was an act of sheer repentance towards someone, who she had mercilessly killed in the path of spying. Not everyone has this heart and mind to recognize and respect all, including those who usually are at the end of receiving wrath from us!

This book talks about a character, which seems to be a story, but it just was real. The only real and heartbreaking is the truth and price of being a spy. No spy is happy killing or committing crime, but like the movie tagline says, “Nothing in front of nation” and that is what made Sehmat pay a very heavy price, but earned her a lot of respect.

The book definitely raises the doubt, whether putting everything at stake for a country’s pride and safety, is actually worthwhile, especially when your own identity and life is at stake, even after providing life saving information?

This book has been adapted into the incredible movie “Raazi”. You can watch the trailer of the movie, now available on Netflix.