Kicking Off the School Year with Intention

Kicking Off the School Year with Intention

by with 9 Comments EducationParentingVoices
What is the end of summer looking like in your home? What’s it feeling like? Another big family transition is just around the corner– back to school!

You and your children or teens may be excited about getting back into the flow and routine of the school year, and you and your family may be anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, exhausted thinking about this change of pace. Anywhere along this spectrum is normal, reasonable, and understandable. 

Noticing Transitions

The truth is, transitions are challenging! There’s a certain energy of anticipation that hits, and as you begin to move into the change, you’ll likely notice various shifts in your mood, capacity, and energy. This is not a positive or negative thing; it just is.

Transitions require you to adapt and adjust. The transition from summer to school has the potential, like any transition, to bring discomfort, stress, and energy drain, even if you or your family feel excited! Furthermore, if one family member becomes overly stressed and begins to “flip their lid,” others will be impacted and will likely flip their lid too. Thus, it’s important to recognize and name the way transitions are influencing your family during this season and beyond.

You and your family have the opportunity to stay awake to your experiences in this transition, and there are tools and strategies you can implement to support the process.


Acknowledging Emotions

First, I invite you to talk explicitly about emotions. As the parent, share how you personally feel about the upcoming transition out of summer. Consider describing what parts of the experience you are excited about, nervous about, curious about, etc. It’s okay (and even helpful) to address emotions that feel tough or challenging; this can help your child or teen understand that their sensations are normal!

With a stance of curiosity, you can encourage your child to share, too, by asking how they are feeling. Their expression can be done through many modalities that you might suggest as options, including the following: drawing scenes that capture their emotions; using a 1-10 scale to rate how intensely they are feeling a sensation; circling the feelings that apply to them on a list of different emotions; using thumbs up/down/sideways to indicate how they’re feeling; and so on. Let me know what other methods you and your family come up with along the journey!

Time Management and Organization

Brainstorming organization systems as a family can be powerful as it promotes contribution and engagement from all members. I observe families having great success with family meetings focused on this topic. Through the crucial brainstorming process, allow all ideas to flow, even if they are silly, unreasonable, or humorous. The goal of this conversation is to determine how your whole family will stay on the same page about daily, weekly, and monthly schedules, so a little bit of laughter will help bring cohesion. If you and your children or teens want some help getting started, browse Pinterest! 

Click here to teach your child how to do goal setting and perseverance with the same.

I also invite you to take time with your family to gather copies of academic, sports, extracurriculars, church/religious, and other calendars that influence the family schedule. Find a home for these calendars, as you and your family will need to reference them regularly. Maybe it’s a binder or a digital shared album of the photos, but it must be something that works for your family. You may also consider having each family member transfer important dates (days off, holidays, exams, practices, etc.) into their individual calendars depending on the age-appropriateness of these details.

Furthermore, tt might serve your family to create an ongoing routine of sitting down at the end of each month to add additional dates (events, games, tests, etc.) to the upcoming month’s calendar; this, of course, could also be done on a weekly basis instead. Co-creating the calendar is a pathway to co-creating family time and family contribution.

school year routine

Incorporate School Year Routine


Additionally, I suggest creating lists that capture daily routines and procedures. Yes, this is also appropriate and helpful for teens! As you begin this process, ask your child or teen open-ended questions such as, “What do you need to do each morning to be prepared for school?” or “What steps do you need to take to get good rest each night?” Allow them to name tasks that are important to their success and personal comfort. Stay open to their answers, focus on listening, and refrain from micromanaging or advising. 

If there’s something important they seem to be missing, you can remind them by asking, “Where does brushing your teen fit in the routine,” for example. As a family, write these individualized routines down and encourage each family member keep them somewhere they’ll see them. (This includes you too, parents!)

In the chaos of the beginning of the school year, it can be helpful to decide on a 1-2 activities or commitments that everyone will show up for each week. The goal of these activities is to promote quality time and connection. Plus, if they are agreed upon as a family, it’s easy to hold them as priorities and to honor them in the family schedule. Ideas include things like pizza dinner on Thursdays, morning exercise on Saturdays, or attending a religious service together. What would bring your family together on a regular basis? 

Other Back to School Considerations


There are few other elements to consider through this important transition:

  1. Technology: Agree upon technology norms and limits as a family. You can ask, “What types of things do you need your phone for on a daily basis?” “What time should screens be put away so we can get the rest we need?” and “How long do you anticipate wanting to be on your phone for socialization or fun each day?” Help your children and teens make commitments and systems for their technology usage.
  2. Academics: Before the homework and projects hit full steam, it’s beneficial to explore opportunities for academic support. This can begin with browsing campus websites or portals, and it can progress to helping your child or teen identify the people on (or off) campus that they can turn to for help. For example: Is there a writing center? Do they know each teacher’s office or tutoring hours? Do they know how to log on to campus portals?
  3. Social and Emotional Life: Just as you and your family did with academic supports, explore and name social and emotional supports your family can access. This includes locating campus counseling and support personnel, discussing teachers or mentors they already have a relationship with, and considering extracurricular opportunities. Get my free download for building a support system here.
  4. Free Time: Discuss healthy, comforting options for after-school and weekend time. Remember to reserve and encourage time at home to rest, read, take care of chores, and simply be, as well as extracurriculars. 


As you and your family take on the 2018-2019 school year, I invite you to come back to this list again and again.Know that you might commit to a certain schedule or agreement and find that it’s not working in a week or two– that’s okay! Come back to the drawing board as a family, discuss what did and did not work, and try another idea, co-create a new strategy. Adjustments are a normal part of the process. Reach out if you’d like support on this journey into the academic year. 

Kick Off the School Year with Intention | How do you start

  As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

The Day My Son Realized We Are an Interracial Family

by with 12 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices
Laura Ramnath
The Ramnaths

I am American and about as pale white at they come. My husband is from the Caribbean and also lived in South America and has the perfect year around tan. When my son was born, he came out a perfect mix of the two of us but with my skin color. Given that we are an interracial couple, I assumed my son would easily accept other people and cultures. I found out a few months ago that I was wrong to assume that. I honestly never thought that I would have to explain why daddy was different.

Strange Behavior

A few months ago, my son, Logan, started acting very strangely towards Shadrach (his daddy). Logan wanted nothing to do with Daddy. He would push him away, run away from him, or did not want to play with him. The strange behavior started all of the sudden.

One night as I was putting Logan to bed, I asked him why he did not want to be around daddy and was treating him so badly. He told me that he did not like the color of daddy’s skin because it was different from his and mine. His answer floored me and caught me completely off guard.

Immediately my heart hurt for Shadrach. I was not expecting an answer like this. I never stopped and thought about the fact that I needed to teach my child about the differences in people and how that makes them each unique, especially when it came to his family. I just assumed that because this was his daddy and it was all he had ever known, that he would just love and accept him.

How We Taught the Differences Between People

I finished putting Logan to bed that night, after his confession about not liking his daddy’s skin color. My heart was heavy and I just kind of sat there and wondered what to do next.

The first thing I did, the very next day, was to start talking to Logan about what was different and what was the same between people. For example, I would ask him what was different about me. I would point out that I am a girl and he is a boy. That makes us different. Then, I would point out that he and daddy are both boys, which gives them something in common.

This little game continued when we were out in public. Quietly I would ask Logan what was different about people and then ask him to tell me if he could find something in common with them. Quickly Logan caught on and started pointing out people that looked like Shadrach and would exclaim, a little too loudly, “That man has the same color skin as my daddy!”

I was so glad to realize that he understood each person is made different and unique. The thing I wanted him to understand was just because someone looks or acts differently; it does not mean that is a bad thing. Also, my goal is to help him understand that we can always find something in common with another person.

This whole situation with Logan has taught me that as parents we do need to take the time to sit down and teach our children that people are made in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that is a good thing! Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.” username=”contactrwc”]

Each person reacts differently when they realize people are not quite like them. Logan acted scared and mad about it because it was something he did not understand. Some children are just curious and stare. Others may ask many questions about it. There is no wrong way, but as parents, we can pick up on these cues and start teaching them that those things that stand out are what makes those people unique.

Imagine how different our world could be if we all took the time to teach our children about different nationalities and cultures. The fear of someone different would go away because that fear comes from the lack of knowledge. While I am not done teaching Logan about all of this, I know that he is starting to understand and I see him learning to love people just as they are.

Can I challenge you as parents? Let children ask questions about people but make sure to explain things. Use it as an opportunity to teach about other cultures. If you do not know about certain cultures, be honest when your child asks. Then take the time to sit down and learn about it together.

Raising “world children” does not mean you have to travel around the world.

To me it means you sit down as a family and learn about different cultures, right in your home. Thanks to the internet, Pinterest, libraries, and television, there are plenty of opportunities to learn and teach your children about all the different cultures that make up our world.

I am thankful that we are such a diverse little family and it has opened up the doors to talk about different cultures and teach how to love each and every person, no matter who they are or where they are from.

The Day My Son Realized We Were An Interracial Family www.raisingworldchildren.com #interracial #family #parenting #multicultural

Laura Ramnath is the voice behind her Family and Lifestyle blog The Rambling Ramnaths. She has held positions in banking and worked for a children’s clothing designer, but currently, enjoys the crazy role of being wife to Shadrach and stay-at-home mom to their 4-year-old son Logan. He keeps life interesting as there is never a dull moment with him! Laura has a passion for life and enjoys family travels and adventures, hiking, going to the beach and binge watching Netflix. She is also a strong believer in CoffeeFirst!

Changing The Misnomer of Indian Feminism

by with 4 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentVoices

Feminism in India

A few years ago I was returning home with a friend from a party at 9:30 pm. I was wearing a simple black dress which went till my knees, high heels and carrying a blingy purse. My friend was getting late so she dropped me at an intersection about a km away from my place.

The distance was not much really, but things had started closing down for the night. I must have reached a few meters ahead when 3 men on a bike started following me. I panicked and crossed the road thinking that they will continue on their way. But they turned around and came the other way.

I frantically called my fiancé to come and pick me up. He asked me to go inside a supermarket which was thankfully open. I thank my lucky stars everyday that nothing untoward happened to me. Needless to say, I got a huge dressing down from my fiancé for being so irresponsible! In retrospect, I was wearing something that was completely out of place in an area which was surrounded by slums, which is certainly not a good idea.

Conservative Thinking

In India, conservative thinkers have many “rules” which define the behavior of a  “good woman”. The most frustrating among them is blaming the girl for being eve teased or even raped because she’s wearing inappropriate clothes or standing the wrong way or luring men etc.

On top of this there are some fanatics who makes statements to the media like “It was bound to happen, women wear nudity fashion. They were wearing short dresses.” or “They tried to copy the Westerners, not only in their mindset but even in their dressing. So there was some disturbance, some girls are harassed, these kinds of things do happen.” Like it’s no big deal but needless, it is our fault! What they do not understand is that eve teasing happens no matter what we wear, salwar suits, sarees or western clothes.

This has led to a huge hue and cry about women protesting that they have a right to wear what they want in public and should not be shamed because of it. Young girls, the “feminist advocates”, in turn at times protest this thinking by wearing clothes inappropriate for the time and place, just to prove a point.

A Real Look at the Misnomer of Feminism

While I am a feminist myself, there is a very fine line here which is often missed by many. Yes, one should have the right to dress the way they want. Wearing western clothes doesn’t mean that you are a woman with loose morals trying to get a man’s attention. You are certainly not giving anyone the green signal to your body.

But there is also something called as appropriate dressing which is defined by the environment you are going to be in.

When I was in the night club I would have been considered conservatively yet elegantly dressed but on the lonely streets at 9.30 pm in the night I probably looked like an escort to those men on the bike in that location. Maybe, if i was even wearing a sweater or shawl I might have been overlooked, but on that night I was probably sticking out like a red beacon.

When the time comes for me to educate my daughter about these situations I will tell her is that you are allowed to wear whatever you want. I don’t care about the “aunties” who sit and judge the length of your dress but to always always be aware of the surroundings you are going to be in before deciding on your outfit.

Feminism has become the most fashionable word in the country today. Every time any issue pops up, out comes the “F” word. I believe that women are grossly misusing this word to get things they at times don’t deserve or something that is impractical. This is because most of these women don’t really understand what it means or stands for. [bctt tweet=”“Misguided feminism” is the root cause of confusion within women on how to respond to issues.” username=”contactrwc”]

Further Misconstrued in the Household

Another misconstruction of feminist ideals made is when it comes to doing the household chores. Women, like men have demanding careers these days and hence expect that the men of the house also contribute in the daily tasks at home.

This is quite reasonable. But in most Indian households, the mothers-in-law will judge their daughters-in-law for making their “Shona Beta” (Darling Son) do housework. The  feeling is that their sons are being treated like a servant.

They do not understand that the poor girl deserves some time off too. This rigid thought process in turn causes the women to rebel.  They take it to the other extreme by demanding that it is the men who should do everything around the house. They lounge around thereby throwing the concept of “equality” down the drain.

I want to teach my baby that equality comes when both the man and the woman change their perspective. They need to understand and respect the fact that they are both equally busy in their respective jobs. With mutual understanding they can share the house work respectfully. There should be no rigidity that a particular task belongs to a single person only.

So, What is Feminism ?

Fighting for equality when it comes to respect, voicing your opinion, demanding equal pay, is what feminism is about.

  • It is about making your own choices.
  • It is  about understanding your inner strength.
  •  It is about grace.
  • It is about acceptance that women are as capable as men are with actions.
  • It is also understanding that men and women cannot be equals in many ways.

Men and women and each individual has their own purpose and strength. If that is how God wanted everyone to be equal, he/she would have created a world full of only men or only women or vice versa. This is the lesson would like to teach my daughter and every young woman out there.

Do not be afraid of the misogynists that surround you. They are but a handful. The world is changing, and our country is changing too. There are male members of the society who proudly call themselves feminists (your father included).

Be a feminist, do not settle for anything less than what you deserve. Do not abuse this privilege and everything that comes with it. Being a woman is not a curse as many believe it to be, it is a blessing. Be proud of who you are and believe that you can achieve whatever you want to.

Changing the misnomer of Indian Feminism www.raisingworldchildren.com #feminism #indian #india #values #families #tradition

Shuchita Kumar is a new mom. She is trying to learn the ropes of motherhood with the help of knowledge passed on by the elders combined with modern thinking. Currently, residing in Bangalore, India. She spent her early childhood years in the heart of India that is Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh. She then lived in Goa (heaven!) and Pune. A software engineer by profession, she loves dancing, bird watching and just spending time with her husband visiting various jungles. She also enjoys pampering her friends and families with delicious food and pastries
Transgenders in India - Deserve Respect So Long Denied

Transgenders in India – Deserve Respect So Long Denied

by with One Comment Voices

Transgenders! Around the world, the word itself still raises eyebrows. Various derogatory remarks even get passed  about them.  In recent times in India, at least, the acceptance towards them is slow but not enough.

For the past three decades, that I had witnessed, their inbuilt complex had stopped them from moving ahead in any direction. In India, their presence at the red light areas for begging or their dance during any family function (which is considered auspicious), just for the sake of money, is a common scenario. The fact that they traditionally have often harassed people to give them money has not lent to their credibility. One should wonder though why begging for money is their main resort to earn.

Only a few among them are seen at schools or any other institute of “repute” for getting education or any relevant information.

Sometimes, even their basic needs-using the loo or getting adequate education or even love, are not met. Many have faced violence and rejection from their families and religious communities. The litigation and people’s indifferent attitude has also lead to major social adjustment problems for them.

Why can’t we (the so called educated people) educate the transgenders along with other children, instead of making faces? Let them use the washrooms freely, instead of considering them with suspicion ?

It is ironical that their blessings / curse are considered superstitiously of great power but we dread to give them a standing in society.

We can certainly change that by passing on the lineage of respecting them to our children? We can provide job opportunities without any bias to the deserving candidate, instead of fearing about our reputation?

Yes, everything can be done. But when this ‘can’ will change into ‘should’, only time will tell.

The live example of the success of their community is Laxmi, a transgender who when provided with few opportunities and when she had overcome her own complex, had made heads turned wherever she entered.

She is a transgender rights activist, Hindi film actress, and a trained Bharatnatyam dancer in Mumbai, India. She is also the first transgender to represent Asia Pacific in UN in 2008.

[bctt tweet=”More transgenders need to take a stand like Laxmi and feel free to stand for their rights.” username=”contactrwc”]

A great example of – Where there is a will there is a way!

But for the other members of this community, this will needs to be generated and encouraged.  It will definitely give a boost not only to their morale but also to the working potential of any country leading to more success and more respect. What do you think we could do to integrate transgenders into our society ?

Transgenders in India Deserve REspect So Long Denied www.raisingworldchildren.com #transgender #intersex #life #india #respect #equality

Ruchika Rastogi, an Indian who was born and brought up in Delhi. She loves to explore the unexplored. A mother of two lovely kids, she works as a teacher and her passion for writing has helped her survive during her hard times. Her first non fiction book got published last year with the name-A Mystical Majesty-the woman. As a contributing author, her anthology with the title–Wait Till I Tell You got launched recently. With dreams in her eyes, she believes in living life optimistically.

The Story Behind Every Song - Cultural Influences to Music

The Story Behind Every Song – Cultural Influences to Music

by with 5 Comments HeritageVoices

Raising World Children

Beethoven, my favorite composer went deaf before he composed some of his most famous piano and orchestral musical works. He was very poor, living in Vienna, but didn’t let his financial hardships or disability deter him from playing and composing music.

In my opinion, he was one of the first true composers to really understand the piano. Other composers before him helped bring the piano to the forefront as a true and important instrument, but the harpsichord was very famous still too. I believe that the culture he lived in was a major influence on his music.

Music Around the World

 

[bctt tweet=”Every composer creates music based on their experiences and culture” username=”contactrwc”]

Every composer creates music based on their experiences and culture. While playing piano for vocalists, they would sing in different languages. Depending on what language they were singing in would determine how I would interpret and play the piano accompaniment part.

When you hear music from around the world, it will all sound different. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why? People from other cultures are also unique individuals.

Even though I am from America, I could compose a song and my neighbor down the street could compose another song, but they would still end up sounding completely different.

Because we’re both from America, we may use a lot of the same sounds, rhythms, and instruments, but our own personal style will go into our music. Most of the time when you are from a different country, you can tell if music is from Jamaica, Africa, Mexico, India, or Italy just by hearing it. Your experiences and knowledge bring you to this understanding.

So many different cultures have shaped me as a music teacher.

My Musical Journey & Influences

My journey began in my first grade classroom one December day.  Our class  was called to the carpet to sit around the piano. It is not very often that a classroom teacher has an instrument in their classroom, so I thought this was pretty cool that our teacher  played  for us daily.

On this particular occasion, she played the song “Jolly Old St. Nicholas.” I ran home from school that day and couldn’t wait to sit at the old piano my dad had just gotten from our church. After picking at the notes for a little while, I finally figured out how to play the melody of that song we had just learned, all by myself. It felt fabulous!

culture music

I went on to take piano lessons and learned how many famous composers played piano and composed such amazing music and the rest as they say is destiny.

I enjoy teaching the African, American, and Spanish cultures the most. I love to teach and play the African drumshey are a great way to teach rhythm and steady beat. Student’s love learning how to play the different types of African drums (djembe, talking drum, and African drum) and the dances to go along with the drumming as a group.

When teaching a song from the Spanish culture, we learn the Spanish language first, then the dances that go along with the song like flamenco, and sometimes even add maracas.

When learning American music, my favorite type to teach is folk music. Students love learning how these songs have been passed down from generation to generation and are songs even their grandparents used to sing. There are so many folk dances where kids have a partner and can dance down the middle or in a circle while singing the song.

Teaching Music

When I taught piano and music in the classroom, teaching music from other cultures was so important to me. Not only would my student’s learn the music, but they would learn about what the people of that culture or country liked to eat, how they liked to celebrate, what their families were like, clothes they enjoyed wearing, and so much more.

We would immerse ourselves in the culture we were studying and when it came time to learn a story or song, the students were so into it. One of my favorite memories of teaching about music from other cultures was when I introduced my students to Native American music. They got to see and hear me play the Indian flute I had made in my music in diversity class in college.

The students understanding before that day, was that a flute was just a flute you would see in a modern day orchestra. They had no idea that a flute can look different in so many different cultures but still go by the same name.

I love to hear stories from my friends or other musician’s about their favorite music to study or listen to. There is so much amazing music out there and I love to continue learning more and more about what’s out there. There are chants, raps, gospel, country, pop, rock, jazz, blues, Classical, reggae, and so much more.

Every single style of music originates from somewhere and there is a story behind every single song written. Do you create music? What has country influences your music the most ?

Cultural Influences To Music - The Stories Behind Every Song www.raisingworldchildren.com #cultures #music #kids #learning #stories

 Jessica Peresta is a mom to 3 little boys. Music has always been a passion loves teaching kids of all ages, inspiring them towards music. She has taught elementary music for 7 years as well as private piano lessons. Seeing many who did not have access to quality music education, she started The Domestic Musician site.  Her goal is to teach music to as many children as possible, no matter where they live, what their demographic is, what culture they come from, or what disability they may be facing. Every child can and should learn music. You can follow her on Facebook @thedomesticmusican or Twitter @thedommusician

7 Storytelling Hacks - Introducing Kids To Cultural Stories

7 Storytelling Hacks – Introducing Kids To Cultural Stories

by with 19 Comments HeritageParentingVoices

 

Indian culture is rich with stories sharing life lessons, morals, traditions and values. From the time immemorial, stories have been a mode of instruction to emphasize values and morals. Not only to children but also to grown-ups. Stories are part of their lives.

In ancient days, stories were mostly told by people. From being written on rocks, stones and some leaves they were carried on by mothers and grandmothers as bedtime stories. Much later they were printed on books. Today stories are made into real with the aid of animations. The conspicuous fascination for stories has still been enthusiastically growing.

The folklore and fables have been an eternal part of every culture since ages. India, a country known for its diverse religions, languages and cultures has a monumental range of tales and short stories. Indian folklore has a wide variety of historical stories and mythological legends, which emerge from all walks of life.

Two epic stories Mahabharata and Ramayana are so popular not only because of their character but also for its abundant source of life lessons and moral values. There are many interesting and famous stories that range from the remarkable Panchatantra Tales to Hitobadesh Stories, from Aesop Fables to, from Grandma Tales of life to Stories of Akbar and Birbal.

Children really enjoy reading and listening to stories. Children are fascinated by stories of animals and birds, kings and queens, fairies and adventures. And Indian stories have all of these in abundance and more.

Kids get involved to a greater extent because their imagination derives from these tales. Each story gets deep rooted in the hearts of children with value.

Children love to dream. The world of fancy and fantasy is the privilege of their childhood. And stories justify these attempts to nurture their imagination and foster moral values. Mostly every story is concluded with an appropriate moral. The stories will not only entertain the children but also inculcate the sublime virtues and worldly wisdom in them.

Panchatantra stories, Jataka Tales, Thenaliraman Tales, Vikram and Vedhal, were my son’s favorites during his childhood. We enjoyed our nights through our bedtime stories.

As a mother, I am often disappointed though nowadays, because of the disappearing love for stories. Also I feel in the digital age there is a dire lack of value based storytelling.

Really story telling is an art and story teller is an artist. When told right, a story has the power to magically inculcate children with not only morals but bring them face to face with their culture and heritage as well.

Some personal tips on developing the skill of it.

Dedicated Reading Time

You can select any convenient time for you and your kids to tell stories. Mostly I prefer night time to share Bedtime Stories. Really the story time will be a bonding time for your family.

Enact The Story

While telling the stories, you act and make music. Parents making funny voices and getting the kids involved in the process makes the stories impact stronger.

Pause At The Right time

Let the kids guess what comes next. Ask them what they would have done in the same situation. This builds thinking power.

Leave Room for Discussion

Stories of long ago or a mythology have concepts hard to understand. Encourage kids to talk, discuss, share and express. Parents should respond, encourage, listen and guide. Parents should respect kid’s feelings and thoughts. Let them ask question and even disagree with what the story says. Don’t stop reading that story to them, though. That teaches them to learn to agree to disagree.

Create

Painting and creating art work after they hear a story will let You see what the children actually thought of the story.

Share Your Memories

Let kids into your life with the history of your family and what you thought when you first heard the story. Discuss with the kids what you thought and ask them what they think of your opinion.

Games And More

For stories of mythology and history which have complicated names, it is a good idea to create games. Give points for guessing the protagonist of a certain story is and what happened. Another amazing way is to have the kids pretend to be they are one of the characters and play a game of dumb charades with them.

Introducing Kids To Stories From Cultures Around The World www.raisingworldchildren.com #storytelling #stories #multicultural #cultures #global #kids #parenting

Story telling is the first and foremost step to introducing kids to any new culture, and specially their own heritage. Be the story teller of your family. And don’t just limit yourself to your own culture. Choose different countries and find what their mythology or history says!

Vasantha Vivek loves to call herself as a happy woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, teacher, friend, mentor, seeker, lover. She’s from Kovilpatti, a small town of Southern Tamilnadu of India. She was a teacher by profession. She worked as a professor at an Engineering College for nearly 15 years. She has learned a lot as a teacher. She hopes that she had inspired some hearts during that period. Teaching is her passion Reading is her love. Cooking is her heart. She enjoys reading and writing very much. You can find her @mysweetnothings on Facebook and Twitter.

 

 

 

How to Stop Kids Saying Hurtful Things to You

How to Stop Kids Saying Hurtful Things to You

by with 6 Comments MindsetParentingVoices

It’s like a bolt of lightning. Those hurtful words that fall out of your child’s mouth towards you. You are left gaping, angry, hurt that your child could say something that would make the pit of your stomach drop.

You feel like you have just been slapped. There’s heat in the moment, sure! But more than that you are aghast at what have you done wrong that your child does not understand the ocean of love that resides within you towards them.

I used to react. Get embarrassed, hurt and get offended. Timeouts and appropriate admonishments followed. But a few months ago, when I wasn’t exhausted beyond comprehension and fresh from a bath, I didn’t admonish or counter his hurtful words in retaliation to being asked to go to bed.

I gave a long, drawn good five minute pause.

His words hung in the air, and fell on the floor like bricks. I could see him processing what he had just said. I asked him if he was proud of himself. He looked down.

I went over all the day’s events where I gave my time, energy and love to keep him happy and healthy. And asked if he still meant what he said.

Needless to say, he reconsidered. After I put him to bed, he came back to me to apologize and say he would’t do it again.

He did. Because of course he’s a child. The only difference is,  I didn’t react.

This is something every mother in the history of time faces from her child. This anger of resistance. 

What We Do Naturally Do As Adults

It’s something we all do. Say hurtful things when we are angry. The most hurtful things are said to those we love the most, because we know instantly what will cut them to the core. Those are things caused by misunderstanding, miscommunication, and not being heard.

Things said in the heat of the moment. Things we wouldn’t say in happier moments. And never to hurt someone.

If only we took the time to think before we spoke, even in the those dark moments. The below tips will not stop your kids from saying hurtful things instantly. But they will surely teach them to be more mindful of what they say. And you WILL see a change.

Stop Kids Saying Hurtful Things to You

Listen to Them

Yes. They are kids. They do not know what they are doing or saying or that what they are doing is derailing your day. But often giving the some extra notice or five more minutes can stop them from revolting. We look at the clock and talk over them to hurry up and they are unable to process. Remember, just like you, your kids have a plan in their head too. And when their plan gets sidetracked in favor of your day, they as kids don’t really know why. So listen to their plans.

Don’t React Instantly

Take three breathes. And pause.

Don’t react to derogatory, disrespectful talk. Think back to what all led up to this point in the past 5,10,15 mins. Pay attention to what has happened uptill now.

Give them time to process what they have just said. Taking the time to think about how they have behaved badly gives them a a chance to be pro active in their remorse and honestly, they do take the time to think about why is it they have said this.

Go Over The Day and Ask Them to Rephrase

Yes, showing them the many simple ways you have given parts of yourself for their smile teaches them to look over the day with gratitude and fills their heart with the recognition of unconditional love.

Let Forgiveness Fill Your Heart

Yes, forgive them and yourself. You are not a bad parent. This is human, this desire to hurt someone who seems to be putting you in an uncomfortable positive, specially one you don’t want to be in.

Let your kids be forgiven and let those words go. It is not as easy as it may sound. You will wonder often about those words for the next few days. But you can do it.

Be Mindful of Your Own Words 

This is paramount. Your kids look towards you for conflict resolution. When you react badly about a colleague or talk badly when in an argument with any relationship, that is the path your child follows when looking to process bad feelings. Be a good example to them. Specially when talking to them, when helping them resolve something. Or getting them to see that conflict resolution can be done calmly and resolutely is a wonderful way to help them grow strong and respectful in their arguments.

When in any situation, be the bigger person by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes yourself. Go through the many ways in which your relationship with that person has brought to your life. When you do this time and again, your life prospers.

How to Stop Kids Saying Hurtful Things To You

Come to think of it, these would be great tips to apply to every relationship. What else would you add to this list? What are your tips to resolve conflicts with your child?

Popular Mouthwatering Delicacies Famous in Rajasthan

by with 4 Comments FoodVoices

Rajasthan

Belonging to the traditional and beautiful region of Rajasthan, gave me the luxury to relish the distinctive cuisine the state offered. The cuisine which has become an inseparable part of my life.

Rajasthan as known by many experiences extreme weather conditions and includes vast dry hot deserts. These extreme climatic conditions, scarcity of water and vegetation has led to unique cooking style and food habits of the natives which are noticeably different from other Indian cuisines.

The Rajasthani culinary style is molded in a manner wherein the dishes can be shelved for longer periods and usually do not require reheating. The Royal Heritage of the region as well as the gastronomic enthusiasm among the locals have led to a wide variety of delectable and exquisite Rajasthani dishes including main course to snacks to sweet dishes. Some item like Dal-Baati-Churma and Bikaneri Bhujia have garnered both national and international popularity amongst foodies.

Paucity of water in the region has witnessed extensive use of dairy products by the inhabitants like milk, butter, buttermilk so as to compensate or reduce the water content while cooking. Beans, dried lentils and legumes like gram, coarse grains like Bajra (millet) and Jowar (pearl millet) form the main ingredients of many of the Rajasthani dishes. Ghee (clarified butter) is liberally used in preparing different Rajasthani dishes which are rich in flavor and spice.

Rajasthan is predominantly a vegetarian region but the influence of Rajput warrior clans who savored non-vegetarian dishes lead to the evolution of several luscious non-vegetarian dishes such as Laal Maas, Jungle Maas, Khad Khargosh and Safed Maas.

[bctt tweet=”Rajasthan predominantly vegetarian but the influence of Rajput warriors lead to the evolution of scrumptious non-vegetarian dishes.” username=”contactrwc”]

Rajasthani breads are made out of the conventional staples of the region like corn, barley and millet which are grounded into flour. Breads are generally roasted on a flat pan and served after adding a generous dollop of ghee to every piece. Off late wheat has replaced the traditional grains to some extent.

Rajasthani cuisine offers some exotic and scrumptious combo meals and dishes that are sure to delight the taste buds of the foodies.

Dal-Baati-Churma

This is one of the signature dishes of Rajasthan which has earned popularity across the globe. The dish includes three main items, a spicy Dal, Baati and Churma. The dish usually includes many sides as well, which are also main dishes by themselves like Khata (a preparation of buttermilk and gram flour), gatte (preparation of yogurt and gram flour) with mirchi (chillies) and Karonde ki Sabzi.

Baati here can be of many types, but mainly 3 types of Baati are famous. First is the baked form of Baati which are round hard breads made of wheat flour and are typically served after being dipped into ghee for a few hours. Second is masala Baati which includes a delicious stuffing of potatoes and dry fruits which are than deep fried in ghee. Third is mawa Baati is the sweet version of masala Baati with a stuffing of sweetened reduced and condensed milk.

Dal is prepared of 5 different lentils split gram, toovar dal, moong dal, Urad dal and whole moong dal. This dal is also known as panchkutti dal or panchmel dal.

Bajre ki Roti and Lehsun ki Chutney

Bajre ki roti made with Bajra flour (millet) is very popular all through rajasthan. It is a healthy flat bread which can be relished with almost every vegetable or Kadhi but is generally savoured with onions and lehsun chutney which is a saucy preparation made with garlic. This combination has remained a staple with locals.

Gatte ki Sabzi

This is an easy to digest and a popular curry of Rajasthan which include spicy gram flour balls in the gravy of buttermilk and different spices.

Shahi Gatte

Shahi Gatte or Govind Gatte is a rich and popular dish incorporating fried gram flour dumplings in a gravy and the dumplings are stuffed with nuts.

Rajsthani Kadhi

Unlike the Kadhi preparations of many other states like Punjab and Maharashtra, the Rajasthani Kadhi does not contain Pakoras or gram flour dumplings. It is a quick and easy preparation that id made by spiced yogurt based gravy that is thickened by adding gram flour.

rajasthani food

Laal Maas

This is one of the most popular and mouth-watering meat preparations of Rajasthan which is relished best with Bajre ki roti. The unique feature of this hot, spicy and rich preparation is its fiery red color which is acquired by the liberal use of red chilies in this dish.

Mohan Maas

This royal meat preparation is among the most delectable and mouth-watering Rajasthani non-vegetarian dishes which makes a foodie crave for more. The juicy and tender meat prepared with mild spices and milk comes with a rich gravy seasoned with cardamom, lemon and khus-khus (poppy seeds) among other ingredients making the dish even more luscious.

RAJASTHANI SNACKS

Bikaneri Bhujia

This crispy snack originated from the Bikaner region of Rajasthan. It is made by spiced gram flour and then deep fried. Bikaneri Bhujia has become a household snack not only in India but has gained fame internationally.

Pyaaz Kachori

Pyaaz Kachori is a popular spicy deep fried puff pastry stuffed with spicy onion mixture. It is usually relished with sweet and sour tamarind chutney. Pyaaz kachori originated from and around Jodhpur but has found place in not only in rest of Rajasthan but most of the northern India.

Kalmi Vada

This crispy and crunchy snack delicacy is made by the batter of chana dal, onions, coriander seeds, chillies and other ingredients is usually savoured with chilli or mint chutney.

Mirchi Vada

The Jodhpuri mirchi vada is a spicy chilli cutlet made of chilli with potato stuffing which is coated with gram flour paste and deep fried. It is usually savored with tamarind chutney or coriander chutney.

Sweet Dishes

People of Rajasthan are also known for their sweet tooth. There are variety of sweets are both dairy based and non-dairy based. Unlike in the case of most other traditional regional meals where sweets are served after the meal, in Rajasthan they are savored prior, during and after the meal. Some of the famous sweet dishes from different parts of Rajasthan are Malpuas from Pushkar, Mawa (milk cake) from Alwar, and Mawa kachori from Jodhpur.

Balushahi

Balushahi is a deep fried donut made of refined flour, ghee, sugar and milk which is soaked in sugar syrup.

Ghevar

A round shaped created sweet dish made of flour, Indian cheese and sugar syrup finds its place during the occasion Gangaur and teej in Rajasthan. Variety of Ghevars are available in the market during these festivals like plain ghevar, mawa ghevar, malai ghevar, rabdi ghevar etc.

Imarti

A delectable non-dairy based sweet dish made by Urad dal (lentil) batter and then deep fried in the shape of a flower and dipped in sugar syrup.

Alwar ka Mawa

A very famous sweet dish that originated from the Alwar region of Rajasthan is prepared by thickened and solidified milk, paneer, sugar and dry fruits that has made its way to almost every sweet shop across northern India.

It is accurately said that a happy stomach makes a happy man. Rajasthan is not only a state that represents colors and traditions of India but it is also a food paradise for many.

Have you visited Rajasthan? Which of these have you had? If do you visit, do not hesitate to try the beautiful and scrumptious delicacies the region offers.

Foods Famous in Rajasthan, India www.raisngworldchildren.com #Rajasthan #India #food #Indianfood

Vinni Mishra is a corporate professional presently residing in Glen Allen, Virginia. She originally belongs to Jaipur, Rajasthan (India). She completed her masters degree in geography from Rajasthan University. She started her career as a corporate professional pretty early around the age of 18 with GE Capital and was until very recently working with Suntrust Mortgage in Glen Allen. She is an expectant mother and is enjoying her time off from work awaiting the new member to her family. She has a passion for writing and her writing is influenced by the rich culture of Rajasthan which is famous for its traditions and heritage that have been passed along generations.

Rakshabandhan – An Indian Festival For Siblings

by with 11 Comments festivalsHeritageVoices

Every year as the Rakhi day (Rakshabandhan) approaches, I get wistful about tying a pretty little thread around my baby brother’s wrist. I think fondly of all those past celebrations of this Indian festival shared with my little brother.

 

This day holds a gentle place in the hearts of those who share it and the magic to take them flying through time to to their shared a childhood. A gesture or moment they may share or maybe pass as tradition to their own children.

Sibling Silliness

When we were small (my brother 3, me 13), I would align our hands together and say,” See, how big my hand is than yours ?” He laughed as his eyes sparkled with glee.

Slowly but surely, his hand kept getting bigger. The joy he found in aligning our hands together and saying, “See, my hand is getting bigger.” became something we shared for an instant smile.

Years passed by, we separated, reunited and did it again. Now all grown up, my little brother boasted. “My hand is finally bigger than yours now.” he said proudly.

I grinned delighted.

Over the years, he grew up from being someone I led around to someone I lean on. He is my little brother. My first baby. The one whose name I take by mistake instead of my child’s often.

When we met the last time two years ago, we did it again. And then he did it to my son. “See, how much bigger my hand is than yours?” My son laughed.

And now my 6 year old does it to his 3 year old sister. Teaching her a silly practice that his mom and her brother did that connects them to this day.

[bctt tweet=”Rakhshabandhan literally translated means the The Tie That Protects. A festival of togetherness celebrating brothers and sisters.” username=”contactrwc”]

The origin of Rakhi or Rakshabandhan has various stories. From mythology to history, it goes back to powerful men and women who protected each other in dire times valiantly to honor the promise made when the thread was tied. This was a way to make sure women were respected, honored and protected at all times.

rakshabandhan

This festival that mainly constitutes a simple act of a sister tying a pretty thread on the wrist of her brothers’ wrist to celebrate their love and duty (loyalty, protection, care) towards each other. It’s heartening how over the years it has transcended into a one when people honor their relationship : the laughter, the memories, the mischief, the fights, the tears shared.

Today siblings and cousins tie it to each other, daughters to fathers, mothers to sons, friends to friends they consider siblings even. This day holds within it the promise of togetherness.

Rakshabandhan Celebration

This festival thus inspires bravery and fondness among those who celebrate it. I remember when I was small we used to create our very own Rakhis and mail them from Kuwait to India to all our cousins. Today, with the very many options available online and shipping being so expensive online stores come to the rescue and we just pick our favorite designs and have them shipped to our beloved family members.

In our home, I tie it to my son and my daughter ties it to her father and brother. My husband’s sisters from India mail him their Rakhis and I decorate a Thali with flowers, sweets, diya and the Rakhis. On any occasion decorating these is my favorite thing to do.

We bathe and celebrate early morning. After prayer, the brother sits and the sister puts Tika on the forehead, does Aarti of the brother (circles the plate around the brother’s face) and then ties the Rakhi and feeds him the sweet. The brother then, irrespective of his age takes blessings of his sister for a long, prosperous and protected life!

Ideally, the brother gifts the sister whatever she wishes on this day. But as commercialization has crept in parents often gift both the brother and sister with presents to ensure they both feel celebrated! My kids love partaking in all the rituals and enjoy their gifts (read:toys) all day!

And then as any festival in India, there is a lavish meal of Indian delicacies. I usually make any meal celebrating the brother and sister with whatever dishes they most enjoy.

Happy Rakshabandhan to all those who choose to celebrate the sacred bond they share every single day in the little things they do for each other! Do share your silly stories of your siblings with us.

Don’t forget to grab your copy of International Best seller —

Strong Roots Have No Fear

Raise multicultural kids with confidence and a global mindset.

4 Major Influences of My Jamican Heritage

4 Major Influences of My Jamican Heritage

by with 7 Comments HeritageParentingVoices
Growing up, I always called myself a Jamerican.
I was born in the states, but raised by Jamaican parents. All of my extended family is Jamaican as well. As an Air Force “brat,” I was surrounded by several other kids whose parents original origin of birth wasn’t the U.S. I grew up with a Jamerican experience while being raised in the south.
As an adult no longer surrounded by other military families, I have settled with my family south Georgia. Many people I encounter live close to family, and have for generations. This highlights the stark differences between my Jamerican upbringing and theirs. I notice it even more as I compare my parenting with other southern moms.
[bctt tweet=”I call myself Jamerican : the amalgamation of American and Jamaican culture infused within me. ” username=”contactrwc”]
Here are a  few things I have noticed about my Jamaican parenting:
Diedre Anthoy Jamaica

 I Love Jamaican Food

There are no international markets near me, so when I want to eat Jamaican food or season my food with Jamaican spices, I have to ask my mother to purchase for me, get it from Atlanta, or my grandmother mails it to me from up north. Sometimes I just have a craving for authentic Jamaican food!
Once when my uncle came to visit from New Jersey, I cried because he ate the last bit of ackee and saltfish (national dish). I didn’t know when we would have a chance to eat it again, and I thought it was unfair because he ate it all the time in New Jersey.

I Am Resilient

There’s a joke that you are a lazy Jamaican if you only have 1 job. There have been many times in my life that I’ve worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time. I’ve learned how to work hard and persevere through tough times. Both of my parents grew up poor, but worked hard through those tough times. They have instilled that in me-the ability to be resilient and not give up when times get tough. Every generation has a hope of making things easier for the next, but I hope that my children will still learn the value of hard work and resilience.

Love of Music

Jamaicans love to sing…all..the..time!
My mother sent me to Jamaica a few times as a toddler, but the first time I remember was in July 2010. All the resort staff was singing, as well as people in the community. I felt such a connection to my roots! Now it made sense to me why I have always done that. My husband used to make fun of me, but now he has embraced that part of my culture-and our kids do too!

Desire To Keep Culture of Jamaica Alive

Growing up, I always remembered my parents being friends with other Jamaicans, or people from other islands.  Eating Jamaican food & listening to reggae makes me feel at home wherever I am. I want to make sure that my girls take pride in our Jamaican family.
When my husband & I married, it was important to me that he had a love of my culture. I remember him playing Bob Marley on the way to a date & thinking, “This relationship is off to a good start!”

 

Acceptance of Diversity

Jamaica’s motto is Out of many one people. No matter the skin color, if you were born in Jamaica, you are a Jamaican. I have met many Jamaicans of different ethnicity, but the culture, the food and the music tie them all together.  This is a bit tougher in the south because people are hyper focused on race. I hope that my children will be able to see past race and relate to people on other levels.
Major Influences of Jamaican Culture

 

Diedre Anthony is a full time school counselor, mother and wife.  In her blog Are Those Your Kids? , she focuses on her experiences of raising her biracial girls in an interracial marriage.  Her posts are filled with helpful tips about raising children, diversity, curly hair as well as entertaining stories, and anecdotes.  Several of her posts have been published by the Huffington Post. You can find her on twitter @rthoseyourkids and facebook @are those your kids.
6 Unexpectedly Positive Effects of Living with Food Allergies

6 Unexpectedly Positive Effects of Living with Food Allergies

by with 6 Comments ContemporaryFoodParentingVoices

Raising world children

Climbing up a hill behind a century old pueblo in New Mexico under an inky dark sky, I settled in a chair between my two children.  We are silent, gazing at a darkness we’d never seen, punctuated by blazing points of light.  I never dreamt a diagnosis of life-threatening food allergies for my son 12 years ago in Pennsylvania would have brought us here today.

Sometimes circumstance chooses you.

In the midst of closing on a new-old house in 2002, we were painting, racing back and forth between the two homes.  With my husband at the new house, I went back to give my 10-month-old something to eat.  I had grabbed a few jars of baby food at the market, thinking he might like the oatmeal & apple cereal as a treat.  Strapped in his high chair, smiling and babbling away, he obediently opened his mouth when I made like an airplane and zoomed the cereal to his mouth.

allergies became a cultureAfter a few bites, he stopped his normal movements.  His color turned gray.  I lived half a mile from the hospital, so I grabbed him and the jar and raced into the emergency room.  The nurse took one look and rushed him inside.  After doses of adrenaline and a battery of tests and several hours, they handed my son back to me with epinephrine and directed me to see an allergist.  I went home in a daze.  My son had a life-threatening food allergy to egg.  Further testing revealed allergies to wheat, peanuts, tree nuts and barley.  He had the same reaction to all of them.  He stopped breathing.

What do I do now?

There were no allergies in my family.  There also weren’t the products you see lining the market shelves today.  Even now, it’s rare to find something he can have.  There aren’t many products that encompass all his food allergies.  I didn’t know what to do.

His first birthday cake was a two-pound block of cheddar cheese with a single candle in it.  Three months after the diagnosis and I was still floundering.  My son’s allergist is one of my favorite people.  He galvanized me into action with one simple sentence.

Choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.

We decided that while his life would not be the same as others, it would still be extraordinary.  I learned everything I could about food allergies, cross-contamination, and to cook differently.  And I decided to home educate my son.

Some folks turn to home education because their school system is inadequate.  Some choose because their religious beliefs dictate another path.  And some choose because it’s the best way to keep their children safe.  We fell into the latter category.

After numerous close calls with cross contamination that wasn’t visible to the eye, we chose to embark on a journey I never envisioned. [bctt tweet=”Food allergies became the silver lining for my family, I had never expected.” username=”contactrwc”]

School is so much better the second time around.

Much to my surprise, I found that I loved home education.  I loved sharing the discovery with my son.  I loved being the one that sparked the “aha” moment.  In the beginning we covered all the standards covered in traditional schools:  he learned his numbers, the alphabet, how to read, how to add and subtract, how to spell.

We fell in love with books together.

Reading room was our favorite activity.  I’d spend at least two hours a day reading aloud, small boy seated by my side.  “One more chapter,” he’d plead.  “We’re just getting to the good part.”  Weekly trips to the library fed our voracious appetites.  His comprehension and vocabulary soared.  It was magical.

We loved the stories we read, but it wasn’t quite so interesting covering every other subject.  It wasn’t tactile enough.  We needed to get up close and personal.

School Became Discovering Cultures

We took our classroom on the road.  After reading about Vikings and the settlement of North America, we headed north to Canada and Nova Scotia.  We hiked Cape Breton Island, learned about Alexander Graham Bell at his museum in Baddeck, Nova Scotia.  We visited The Gaelic College in Englishtown and learned about Gaelic culture.  We stayed in a small cottage on the sea, owned by a man who had left his homeland in Holland to pursue life in a quiet Canadian province.

In Florida, we kayaked with manatees under the watchful eye of a conservationist who taught us the best way to see is to be quiet.  We were rewarded with glimpses of docile, lovely sea cows in their natural habitat.

We hiked through wetlands, careful to avoid sleeping alligators sunning themselves on the banks in the tall grasses.  Together we learned to be more observant of the world around us.

In New Mexico, we marveled at the idea of a “wild cow.”  Though I laughed at my son’s suggestion when we encountered a lone bovine in the mountains of the Gila National Forest, a shaman (medicine man) soon set me to rights as he pointed out what we could touch and what we should avoid walking in the wild.

California introduced us to sweeping extremes.  Desert in the south, full of rippled dunes that encroached on the roadway.  Sunny groves of citrus and almonds and avocados.  We saw firsthand what living in drought conditions meant for families that farmed dry acres.  We drove up through clouds to wrap our arms around the famous California redwoods trees, and we were cautioned to watch out for the grizzly bears.

We drove through miles and miles of our nation’s farmland, lulled into a quiet rhythm by seemingly endless acres of corn.  The very next day, the sense of calm was shattered as we raced toward Kentucky, ahead of a series of tornados.  The skies were black and calm and too quiet.  The lines for fuel were long.  Every day brought a new aspect of the adventure.

Conversations and Music

Each day on the road, we’d pull out a map and get a general idea of where we were headed.  Nothing was set in stone to allow for detours as needed.  One of our favorites started with a barbecue billboard and ended eating sandwiches along the river in Ozark, Arkansas on my birthday.  The late afternoon sun was warm and we were the only ones in this little town at the river that day.  Magical.

The connections and adventures are equally strong in your own town, or the next one over.  The idea is to talk more, learn firsthand and spend time together.  Creating memories leads to conversation, sometimes even lively discourse.  My son and I hold diverse political views.  But at the end of the day, we are better for the interaction and the time spent.

And Every day ends the same …

And I’m grateful for that.  As the day draws to a close, my son gives me a hug, and an “I love you, Mom.”

I love you too, Buddy.

How Our Life Improved By Living With Food Allergies www.raisingworldchildren.com #allergies #parenting #life #silverlings

​ Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write
5 Words to Eliminate from your Child's Vocabulary Forever

5 Words to Eliminate from your Child’s Vocabulary Forever

by with 12 Comments EmpowermentLanguagesMindsetParentingVoices

How many times have you been told to “watch your language” or scolded a child and said “don’t say THAT word”?

In American society, we often polarize words as being “good” or “bad”.  When I have heard these phrases, they are typically speaking of words considered as “curse” words or “foul” language.

In truth, we have words that are considered “good” that are not given a second thought and are actually quite disempowering.

In the process of observing my own words and thoughts, I found several of these “fly under the radar” words that were incredibly harmful to my life and I began to shift them.  Celebration!

Once we begin to act as an observer in our lives and the lives of our children, we begin to see how words that are considered “good” words can be extremely detrimental to our growth.

Things You and Your child should both avoid saying.

 

 

 

 

Earlier today, I was out with my little three year old grandson.  We were having a great time playing at a local park until…..out of his little mouth came the very first word on my list.  Oh no!  What was I going to do, how would I handle it.  This was a critical moment!

The very first word in my list is CAN’T!

This particular park has playground equipment.  In one area, were these posts that were large enough to climb, stand and step to the next.  They were similar to stepping stones but off the ground.  They led you to the balance beam and then to the slide.  Here was this amazing little boy having a fantastic time, when all of a sudden he encountered a challenge a little too big for him.  With encouragement from me, I said, “what if you can?”.  I held his hand as he carefully took each step and made it all the way to the slide!  He said “I can do it, Grammy!” and I said “Of course, you can”!

This word is one that we say quite often to ourselves when something is a little challenging.  Our thoughts and words are powerful tools.  We can use them to propel us toward greatness or keep us stuck believing we “Can’t” get there.  It is important that we use them to move us forward.

 

 

 

 

Have you figured out other words that you should eliminate from your vocabulary?

If you were looking closely, you saw the second word in my list SHOULD!

This little trouble making word is full of guilt and shame.  When you use the word should, start to observe how you feel when you use it.  For example, “I should clean the house”.  “I should call my mother”.  How many times have you or your child been in a situation where you “should” on yourself?  One way to re-frame this is to either do the task or do not do the task and simply let it go.  Example would look something like this “I cleaned the house”.  “I will call my mother” or “I choose not to clean the house right now”.  “I choose not to call my mother, today”.

 

 

 

 

The next word on my list is used as a word to connect sentences.  The trouble with this little word is the mind focuses on it and everything said after it and disregards everything said before it.  Unfortunately, we often put the good stuff before the word and it is no longer heard.

The number three word on my list is BUT!

Let’s test out a few examples.  “You did a great job cleaning your room BUT you didn’t make the bed right”.  In this instance, “you didn’t make the bed right” is the only thing heard and retained.  Another way to say this might look something like “You did a great job cleaning your room!”  If you are looking for a teachable moment on the bed, consider using “Would you like to see a really cool way to make the bed?  Let’s try this together!”

 

 

 

 

Re-framing the way we say words takes a little practice.  Once we start to observe our language and how it makes us feel, it becomes much easier to empower our children with these new ways of speaking.

Number four on my list is actually the phrase HAVE TO!

When we speak and say we “have to” do something it has a heaviness to it.  It certainly does not sound like anything we want to do.  This can feel extremely disempowering and over time add to feelings of dread and depression.  When we have a task that we do want to do, we often say “I get to”.  As we begin to see everything we do in life as a blessing, instead of a chore, life becomes much more empowering and enjoyable.  Think of this example “I have to pay the mortgage payment”.  Yuck!  Seriously, who would want to do that!  When we consider the mortgage payment pays for the home that provides shelter for our family, we recognize it is truly a blessing.  We honor it with the re-frame “I get to provide a home and shelter for my family!”.  Which one feels better?


 

 

 

 

The last word on my list is a tricky one.  It is used in so many areas of our life.  We see it on billboards.  It may be heard it places of worship.  We freely use the term with others.

Number five on my list is the word HOPE!

This one is a little harder to see and understand.  It was not until I really tuned into my body when I said the word, that I recognized how much it made me feel helpless.  Consider this example “I hope I get to take a vacation this year” versus “I am taking a vacation this year”.  What about something bigger, “I hope I can provide for my family” versus “I know I can provide for my family”.  So much of our language that is considered “good” is often quite disempowering.  The word Hope gives the impression that we have no control over anything in our lives and feels quite passive.  I have found when my faith is at its strongest, I have no need to HOPE because I KNOW that I am open to receive and I am taking inspired action to create the desired results.

At the end of the day, the voice in our head and the words coming out of our mouths, allow us to create an empowering or disempowering reality for ourselves.  Children absorb everything at a rapid rate.  The thoughts and words that empower or disempower help to shape them for the rest of their lives.

 

 

 

  Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin and The Doors of Wellness at http://www.thedoorsofwellness.com on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thedoorsofwellness
5 Ways Our Move To Australia Affected Our Palate

5 Ways Our Move To Australia Affected Our Palate

by with 11 Comments ContemporaryFoodVoices

Living in Kuwait, life was very pampered!

We  had an amazing array of cuisines at our beckoning. Even impromptu get-togethers were easily managed with a simple phone call. Not to mention home deliveries where every meal is brought to your doorstep most times for no extra charge.

The leisurely life however, was accompanied with a feeling of insecurity a sense of foreboding that came with living in a country that did not offer citizenship or the liberty of owning your home.  Once the kids came along, we were also looking for a good education system that was not exclusive or one with a hefty price tag.

Moving to Australia

Australia, ticked all the boxes for us when it came to raising a family. Our move to Australia, especially as parents can certainly be classified as a life changing experience in a lot of ways. Little did we know the impact the move to this beautiful country would have on our food habits. Not only our eating habits, but the way we perceived food and where it comes from.

Our first stop, Alice Springs – has always been a great conversation starter. Fondly known as the ‘heart’ of Australia because of its location also the red center due to the red soil that is found there. Alice Springs is infamous for its dry conditions.  This of course, suited my family as we were moving from Middle East with quite similar weather sans the dust storms that Kuwait is now famous for.

[bctt tweet=”The journey from Kuwait to Australia had these surprising consequences on our food.” username=”contactrwc”]

Cooking At Home

Our first meal in our very own home, overlooking the beautiful MacDonnell Ranges was a simple canned soup and some bread.  I was introduced to a new contraption called an electric cooktop which had coils/  similar to the mosquito repellent that I had seen growing up.  It is great for stir fries but was a challenge to simmer a curry, make a roti or the famous masala chai. God forbid the chai ever boiled over. The cleaning was yet another chore.

While thankfully, the western culture does not exactly encourage drop in visits we did have a few occasions where I had to quickly put on my thinking hat and improvise.

We quickly found out that our options for dining out were quite limited. In terms of the choices which are mostly the fast food. The price tag of most of the dishes  clearly implied we were much better cooking at home.  Thus started our food discovery.

Luckily numerous blogs and Youtube videos came to the rescue.  While an enthusiastic cook for the occasional potlucks and meals in Kuwait, it was a different ball game to cook every single meal from scratch right at home and on an  electric cook top none the less.

Team Effort in Cooking

But you know what ? I started enjoying it. Our new friends were very appreciative of the beautiful food. Samosas were quite aptly rechristened ‘mystery bags’ and our famous ‘neer dosas’ from Karnataka were adopted with quite a zeal. We were surprised at the number of Aussies who are vegetarians. I developed a new respect for the wide variety of vegetarian food that India is so famous for.

Tina MirandaBaking cookies, cakes and slices now became a team effort and we enjoyed the additional family time that came with it .. The first rainbow cake we made and the delight the kids had stirring the colour into the batter. The thrilled reactions to the first slice that they cut in.  Birthdays now became a project, and the demands for  castle cake, a teddy bear picnic cake and the likes started pouring in.

Enjoying Community in Austraila

My fondest memory of our very first Indian community get together in Alice Springs is how we were welcomed warmly among a group of complete strangers. I was promptly introduced to the ladies in the kitchen and lo and behold found myself with a rolling pin in hand rolling out the rotis for the group assembled.

While we had enjoyed  the schnitzel, fish and chips and roasts our Indian palate knew we were missing the savory snacks, street food and dosa chutneys.

Australia FoodThe Indian we met was quite pre-dominantly North Indian  while we hail from South India. I quickly learned their way of cooking which I had long admired and always ordered at restaurants.

Before I knew it, I could pull off a Jimmy’s Masterchef butter chicken recipe, a dal makhani and a mean aloo gobhi.  While parties back in India meant the hosts slaved or catered for the event from dawn to dusk, I loved the ‘bring a plate to share’ culture that Australia is famous for.

Many hands do make light work, not to mention a great array of dishes to enjoy.

Making treats at home also meant the kids were aware of the amount of work that went in. They were quite keen to learn how to cook traditional recipes especially the ones they were partial to. We were glad we were setting an example for the kids by now in their teen years to make healthy food choices independently.

Going Green for our Food

The solitude of living in the Outback also meant we paid more for the fresh food that was shipped interstate. I was quite aware of food wastage and ensured each scrap of food was either used or composted.

We started backyard gardening which can be a challenge especially if you are renting.  Our very first investment being a curry leaf plant because no Indian household is complete without it. Coriander leaves came next and now we have quite a beautiful array of fruits and veggies in our backyard, albeit still quite a long way to go.

Food Adventures with the Kids

While I would not call myself very adventurous in terms of food, my husband and son love trying out new things. Before we knew it, we were sampling the likes of crocodile, duck and kangaroo meat that Australia is famous for.  I learnt how making pancakes and scones with butter milk took them to that extra level of yumminess.

The Rogan josh and Butter Chicken are the two most popular Indian curries the Aussies know oh and the chicken tikka of course! Asian cuisine is quite popular in Australia and Malaysian, Thai and Vietnamese food are also sought after.  

Sausage sizzle is the go to rescue for backyard parties. The ‘barbie’ aka the traditional barbecue, a much sought after appliance for an aussie bloke etc. are now words in our repertoire.  My husband is always game and quite a pro at chucking a steak on the barbie and my kids always game for a sizzle if we are out and about.  

Seven years later, and living in Brisbane now we are thankful to this great country for the new outlook it has given us towards food, farming and agriculture.  

Food Changes Caused By Move to Australia #australia #food #palete #cultures #multicultures

 Tina Miranda is an Office administration professional from Brisbane, Australia. Passionate about writing, cooking, travel and music.  A mum to a teenager and tween pigeon pair. Like a lot of other migrant parents she is looking to belong while holding on to traditional values.  To boast of having matured while still remaining the young carefree, blatant and audacious girl at heart, her favourite place to be is still in her parent’s embrace..

pexels-photo-259363

Advantages of Taking Time Out for Self Love

by with 7 Comments New ParentsParentingVoices

Parenting is a challenging job. It might sound harsh to some, but yes, it is a “job” because after all it is a kind of work that involves providing for services for another entity altogether. In fact, the service demand doesn’t come with a 9-5 clock timing, but rather in the form of a rigorous 24*7 spontaneous routine work!

Exhaustion, lethargy and boredom are few elements, which usually sink in at some of point of time, while performing a routine job, but motherhood is a kind of work, which involves high attention, high energy and super-excitement with every passing age and stage of a child’s progress.

No matter how much highly charged we are, there’s no denial that the above mentioned elements do sink at some stage. Not to mention the quantum of guilt that follows soon after.

We tend to put in so much, do so many things singlehandedly (all in the name of being a good mother or rather a super woman) that we exhaust ourselves. There are times when we want “me” time, but we don’t do anything.

There are times, when we just want to enjoy doing nothing and then maybe followed by pursuing one of our passions.

However, do we actually do things that define “us” and not the “mom” is us?

When was the last time, we spent time on ourselves, for things that we truly enjoyed (sans guilt)? I don’t think we do much. In fact, we get so bogged down, sometimes disgusted by the idea of taking even an hour for ourselves that we screw up the idea of “me-time” ourselves.

This is doing more damage to our kids than actually you would believe. I know I will have to take you through, to point out how actually you could be damaging your kids.

The many ways taking time out for self love helps you and your family.

Staying comfortable with yourself is crucial to teach kids to enjoy their time alone.

Are you upset about the fact that you kid is not learning how to soothe self and needs myriad activities or digital screens to self-entertain? How will they if they don’t’ see you doing the same?

As parents, we are half the time moving at a frenetic pace, hardly stopping to have a meal at leisurely pace or even to gaze at the view outside the balcony. We have myriad peeps, tweets, buzz and rings to so many devices that we fail to pay attention to the most profound gadget that we own, our body and mind.

Try to take off at least 15 minutes, disengaged from external stimuli, to enjoy doing nothing, but to enjoy yourself. Most importantly, let your child see you doing this. He will stay curious to look at what and how you are doing something that involves nothing. Don’t forget children learn by example. If we fail to help our children learn how to be alone, they will always be lonely.

Teach the kids to be quiet for some time, in the event of some unpleasantness. Tell them to describe how they feel. Don’t put in words just too soon based on your assumptions. Let the child explore and describe his situation to you.

Only when we are comfortable in our own skin, we will attract and sustain healthy relationships.

Some people assume pairing up with a romantic partner or spending time with friends will alleviate those feelings of loneliness. It might, but temporarily. This acts as a distracting method and not as a sustainable solution in the long run. Chasing after someone to fill those empty spaces in our hearts will only create more problems and less solutions.

Children need to understand that they can be truly independent (per se) without needing something or someone to drown out that noise of discontent of boredom.

Pursue your passions to know yourself better

When you find time to pursue your passions like painting, reading or gardening, and allow children to see this, they understand that learning is an integral part of life.

This might sound like a piece of other-worldly advice, but it is for you to experience the real. As a mother, when I indulge doing nothing or when I unplug the electronic devices, sit with myself to read or write, I see myself in a different light. I start appreciating myself a little more, turn more accepting and less critical towards my issues. I turn more benevolent and work on devising ways to improvise with care. This care and appreciation towards self is what makes children to appreciate themselves.

Let them sit quietly and figure out their natural inclinations towards things rather than you turning them in some direction. Let the child learn to do the thinking for self. This process will help children to develop a sense of self and worth.

In a world of criticism and negative feedback, a sense of self and worth can be achieved if we equip our kids to love and appreciate themselves.

Create a tribe to share responsibilities

As a parent you need to muster the courage and cross over that ego barrier, to talk to other like-minded parents, with whom you can share responsibilities. No matter how much you crave to live up to the definition of being a solo parent (and a good one at that), you won’t be able to bring it all together.

It is essential that as a parent, we build a tribe to make this journey of parenting a fulfilling and enriching experience and which won’t happen if you don’t go out and seek help.

Be it a set of close knit, like-minded friends or a family member living close by, the help can be received from many areas. All you have to do is shed your ego and ask for help.

In our age of nuclear families, or apartment culture, this is all we have got, so there should be no shame for asking for help. Remember, we are teaching our children to ask for help, to only make certain things better. If we remain all held up and closed in our cubicle, we will suffocate and we will teach them to suffocate and perish, rather than asking for help. And certainly this is not what we want for our kids!

Children, who feel they are a part of community grow up feeling anchored.

Remember the famous African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child”. Well, it stands true in every sense of the work. Children, who are a part of a large community or people sharing parenting duties, feel more cared, belonged and secure.

Hence, as a parent (living in nuclear family), it is crucial to plan ways to spend time with like-hearted parents with kids in similar age group or friends and partners, who are willing to support each other in times of despair, respite and give us some time to recharge.

However, it should be ensured that kids are not getting upset with the company. Their safety and security is something that need not be compromised in the name of “me” time.

If we have to raise confident and secure children, we need to make them listen to their inner wisdom and trust their intuition.  They need not put up with someone, who is making them feel uncomfortable or unappreciative about something. Kids whose boundaries are respected, have an easier time settling than their peers.

Once settled with other caregivers or people, who extend parenting duties on your behalf, they will enjoy myriad experiences through people, which is more enriching than any device!

By incorporating our lives with meaning (with adequate help) and a passion for learning, we will provide our children with real-life opportunities to do the same. We will equip and empower them against boredom, apathy and malaise of any form. It just has to start with you!

  Malvika Roy Singh A freelance creative writer and blogger for the past 7 years, Malvika Roy SIngh writes about subjects like travel, food, lifestyle, health, interior designing, real estate, digital entertainment, media and marketing, education etc. Her parenting blog helps her be a conscious parent (www.wipmom.com) When she is not writing, she can be found either running or playing with her 4 year old son enjoying time reading. She resides in Hyderabad and can be reached at mroysingh@gmail.com
Summer Anti-Boredom Toolkits for the Whole Family

Summer Anti-Boredom Toolkits for the Whole Family

by with 11 Comments ParentingVoices

Summer, and any other unstructured time of the year, can lead to boredom. Children and teens have to make pretty big energetic and logistical transitions each time the shift from school schedules to summer vacation and vice-versa. A bored kid is a kid whose brain is challenging them to get curious and explore something new.

The Transition to Summer

Often times, the transition into summer feels exciting; it may be a relief! Then, after several days or a few weeks, this less-structured time can begin to wear on children and teens. (And parents!) This lack of structure can create room for less desirable behaviors (think screens), and with plans and intentions, it can be a time of fun and joy. 

In sessions this summer, I have guided teenage clients in developing Anit-Boredom Toolkits. These are simply lists of options, or a menu, that children and teens can use to get out of boredom and into engagement and curiosity. This is a living document that can be added to or edited at any time. A few clients have taken this one step further and even prepared a duffel bag, tackle box, or storage tub full of items from their list! 

Below you will find a list that offers your child or teen ideas to consider as they create a unique and extensive toolkit. All they need to begin is a notebook and something to write with!

Considerations for your custom anti-boredom toolkit:

  1. Start with what you know you love. Include your favorite activities and hobbies on the list. Include the things you love to return to over and over again. Your passions and hobbies deserve to be on this list.
  2. Explore your 5 senses. Try to list at least one activity or option that will activate each of your senses! Challenge yourself to think outside of the box! 
  3. Try something new. If there’s a skill or hobby you’ve been thinking about for some time, encourage yourself to take the leap. Consider taking a camp or class for guidance, or check our YouTube, blogs, or books for how-tos. 
  4. Gather inspiration. Use magazines, documentaries, web searches, Pinterest, etc to inspire you. You might enjoy creating a summer vision board, or a collage to capture your inspirations and hopes.
  5. Balance alone time with connections with others. Ensure that some of your list items give you time to be with yourself. Likewise, include options that bring you into connection with friends, family, or your community.
  6. Consider your career interests. What ideas do you have for your career? Perhaps there volunteer or internship options related to your interest. Alternately, you might like to delve into research about this career path through documentaries, books, etc.
  7. Take advantage of nature. Include options that are centered around nature, whether it be a park, a neighborhood, or a hike in the woods.
  8. Do some research. It can be helpful to look at local calendars or stop by the local library or coffee shop to look at bulletin boards. There are tons of ideas out there waiting for you to find them. Stay open to the possibilities and notice what sparks your interest along the way. 
  9. Ask your friends and family for ideas. Chat with friends and family and ask them about their favorite activities and passions. As they share, notice if anything catches your attention. Bonus:  if you find a common interest, you have built-in connection time with a friend or family member!
  10. Incorporate self-care. It’s important to include activities that are calming and relaxing for you. These are small ways that you can offer yourself comfort and care. This can be time for reading, taking baths, or journaling, for example.
  11. Review your list with your parents. Share your brainstorming with your parents! They’ll be excited to hear your ideas and interests. If some activities require family support– for transportation, financially, for safety, etc.– begin a conversation with them about how you might be able to meet these goals.

A Tool for the Whole Family

While the list portion of this article is meant to be a tool for your child or teen, I invite you notice the ideas that have come to your mind. Is it time for you to build a boredom toolkit too?! Creating, maintaining, and using this type of catalog is likely to increase your intentionality surrounding self-care. Instead of defaulting to screens or the couch, you have a whole list of energizing and soothing ideas that you can consider.

If you and your child or teen are looking for support as you build Summer Boredom Toolkits, let’s chat! I work with clients to co-create systems that bring their family into deeper connection, and I would be honored to support you on the journey!

  As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

Find her on —

http://courtneyharriscoaching.com/

https://www.instagram.com/courtneyharriscoaching/

https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/

Anti Boredom Summer Toolkit for the Whole Family