Raising Girls Who Know Perfection is Self Defined

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Today, as we sat having lunch together, my little one said to me.

“ Mom, you know what ? You are perfect. “

My heart welled with love and gratitude for those three words. “ You are perfect. “

My little girl made me, an often underappreciated, overworked, challenged at every step, mom of two feel like in that moment I was indeed perfect.

I know I have my flaws. I make mistakes. I don’t exercise enough. I am a tad too idealistic for today’s day and age and I overshare. I am me.

But I have never felt less than.

I was an only child for 10 years and my parents never ever made me feel that there was something missing. Even when my brother was born, I was secure in my place in my family.

With time though, it becomes obvious, it’s a man’s world specially in Indian culture. There are “rules” you are expected to live by. Serve, be submissive, understand your “place” in society. It’s not something that is said outright but in the little things by people around you.

Be Who You Are

But my little girl, should always know that you are loved! You are second to no one. You have the right to stand up for what you believe in. The right to eat when you what. The right to say what you want. The right to BE how you want. Laugh how you want. The right to go anywhere, do anything without the fear of being harassed, molested or put down.

Today, when you are little, you are the center of attention no matter where you go. Your teachers love you. We get you all that you need. You dance yourself silly and act like the diva you think you are. You say, “ Watch this mommy! “ after everything you do. You are stubborn and won’t eat something you don’t like. You enjoy everything that you love totally, un-apologetically.

I wish for you a lifetime of what you have now. A lifetime of smiles when you enter the room. Pampering wherever you go. A lifetime of confidence that whatever you are doing is worth being appreciated and applauded. A lifetime of knowing that you are special in every way !

Be a Feminist in The Real Sense

A  girl is not the same as a boy. She has unique strengths, many of which are different. That’s not to say, she cannot learn or grow to imbibe traits she desires. Feminism doesn’t mean girl and boys are exactly the same, it gives everyone the freedom to make the choices they deem right for themselves.

Don’t Judge Other Girls, Least of all Yourself

Let the fear of judgement of others around yourself go. One doesn’t ‘have to’ do or be anything she doesn’t want to. But that doesn’t mean she has the right belittle men or anyone else for that matter. Remember your way is right for you, but it may not be right for another.

Similarly, understand that you are going to be hardest on yourself. Often people aren’t even thinking about the thing you are obsessing over. Understand that you have to learn to forgive yourself.

Trust Your Gut

If you don’t know what to do in life, always be very very sure of what you don’t want. Trust your gut ! It won’t ever let you down. And if all else fails, remember what your mom and dad have taught you and fall back on the values you have grown up with.

Get Your Priorities Straight, without Remorse

Be passionate about life and the people you love. Care about them like the tiger you are. Know your priorities and go after them without remorse. Know that people will never understand what your life and choices is about and that is okay.

Always Choose To Be Drama-free

Time and again, you will for sure be sucked into the web of insecurities, jealousy, envy and gossip . Make sure to walk the path of truth and try your best to keep your mind above all the spectacle. A real crisis is the only time you should be anxious.

Don’t let relationships be the cause of turmoil.

Respect yourself enough to walk away when needed and cut ties when pushed.

 Be Mindful in Your Actions

With great power though, comes great responsibility as they say. You need to remember that with the freedom of choices you have, you need to make decisions that are healthy, compassionate, brave and right. To speak out when you see wrong doing. To stand up for those who cannot, specially yourself.

Know your strengths, understand your weaknesses, introspect often and be self aware. Above all, remember that the same applies to everyone. Every person goes through their share of pain and suffering before they find their bliss. So, never, ever try to compare your journey to another’s.

Remember, you are perfect as you are. Never feel less than, at any moment ever !

Raise Children Who are Confident with a Global Mindset

Secure in The Values That Last Them a Lifetime

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Author: Aditi Wardhan Singh

Featured on CBS and NBC, Aditi is an authoritative voice on cultural sensitivity and empowerment. Published on various publications like Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmond Family Magazine, RichmondMomsBlog, WriterMom, Desh Videsh Magazine etc., this mother of two has also coauthored the best selling book "When You're DONE Expecting". She is the founder of the RWC magazine encouraging other voices like hers to come forth to create unique resources for parents everywhere so children can be global thought leaders. In her spare time, she enjoys choreographing recitals, volunteering and having dance parties with her two charming kids.

6 Replies to “Raising Girls Who Know Perfection is Self Defined

  1. How interesting – this is not at all what I thought of when I read the post title. In my house, with two extremely bright girls for whom most things come easily, we are constantly battling self-imposed perfectionism (they set extremely high standards for themselves BECAUSE most things come so easily, and so – like many other gifted children – are easily frustrated if things aren’t “just right”). For them at least, I think it has more to do with being smart than with being girls. We try to emphasize to them all the time how everyone has their own gifts and their own challenges, and the important thing is not how “smart” they are or what things come easily to them, but whether they persist in the face of challenges and are “hard workers” – because being “smart” will only get them so far in life, but if they know how to work hard and persevere, then they can accomplish far more than anyone who is “smart” alone.

  2. There are so many tangible lessons in this post, thank you for sharing! I really appreciate that you emphasize not involving yourself in girl drama and that being a feminist doesn’t mean you believe boys and girls are the same. These are all excellent points!

  3. Awe raising a girl is so fun but so hard sometimes. My 3 year old has had some issues with friends and preschool already and it broke my heart! Thanks for sharing this.

  4. Totally agree with you. Yes, we are perfect as we are and we should all stop waiting for other people’s affirmation before we learn to appreciate ourselves.

    Also, thank you for your last point. It is indeed important that we are mindful of our actions. Thank you for this reminder.

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