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Those who know me personally, know that I am not in a good space these days. Anyone who asks how I’m feeling gets the truthful answer that I’m not feeling okay.
It is a million things. Covid | Kids upset | Home school over whelm | Recent hatred overflowing among people | The lack of connection | The constant processing of things to “try to be upbeat” | work stress and the selfishness people show CONSTANTLY.
There was a recent straw that broke the camel’s back.
I have LOVE from all quarters and lots of well meaning people who keep telling me to just “get over it”.
Now I know the practical things that need to be done in order get out of my personal “FUNK”.
🌼Unplug
🌼Take a walk
🌼Exercise
🌼Talk to friends
🌼Look at my blessings
🌼 … and simple things that distract.
I am happy to say I have been blessed to have listening ears that are always up to give me the “tough love” I need. And I DO appreciate it.
Here’s the thing many others do not realize though.
Depression and the feelings similar are not a switch. One can’t just “look at blessings” and feel better about themselves. It’s not logical and makes EVERYTHING seem darker than it is.
Every obstacle starts seeming like a mountain. Every person who one cares for, starts feeling like the enemy. I know though, I’m not “suffering from depression” in the REAL sense. I’m just heavy in my heart.
A desire to run away constantly overcomes me and I have to keep pepping myself up with all the above in small doses. And yet, these days all I want is space from everyone.
What does someone do for such a friend then? Specially when you cannot physically be there with someone.
💖Pray for them for strength or send good vibes.
💖Let them know you are there (NOT IF you need them but that you are there).
💖Listen with understanding, NOT just to respond.
💖Make time to call them every day, just to say hi.
💖Let them know they are loved.
And above all empathize that everyone is under different weights of suffering. What may seem “trivial” to you, might feel like a mountain of a weight on their being to another. The difference between drama and depression is drama is LOUD, depression is QUIET. Evident in subtle things.
Stand by those you care for. Not only IF you have time, but all the time. Keep nudging them step by step till one day , the sun starts shining again.
Let’s help each other walk the tight rope of life with grace.
AND if your heart is as heavy as mine, give yourself time to wallow and then get to healing. Keep chipping at that heaviness with small joys. You have gotten through worse! Hugs.
7 Responses
Thank you for sharing your experience and all of your great advice!
Really great ideas. These ideas are superb. Hope it reaches someone who needs it.
This is so important for people who don’t suffer from depression to understand. Trying to help but not understanding that it cannot just be switched off can just hurt more.
Yes, indeed, things have been very stressful and difficult lately. Many people feel it and there are many ways in which people go through these. I also like to go for walks and talk to friends to destress and find more calm. Great article!
Thank you for sharing…I can totally relate! And it’s really hard when people who don’t understand, feel it’s fine to just say things like – Ah just chill, you far too tense…or just lighten up, stop being so silly! I’ve had it most of my life…stay strong mama…you can do this! x
These are good points to think about. It is interesting to read about your experiences.
As someone who has suffered from postpartum depression, it is definitely a hard thing for the person to come to grips with. And you definitely can’t help them, without them wanting the help.