There is a raging insider vs outsider debate going on in the Bollywood industry. The fact is that this concept doesn’t apply just to any one industry. Throughout my childhood days, I have always been an outsider.
My family would move from one location to another, every one or two years. Therefore, I would always find myself in a new place, with new kids in school and my neighborhood.
What I would find is that in the new school, groups had already been formed. They were friends and classmates who had been together since kindergarten. So there was no place in the group for that awkward new girl in school. Not that I didn’t have any friends, just that I never felt part of any group and that for some reason made me sad.
But practical that I was at that age, I told myself it would be a waste to be a part of any group. I always knew that one day, my family would move again and then I would just have to start from scratch. Moreover, none of the kids went out of their way to make me feel comfortable. They were too busy hanging out with their group as I quietly sighed and probably felt a little …no, a lot jealous of them.
I also noted that none of them really cared that I appeared lost in that huge network. Nobody really tried to be my friend. So my heartbroken self told myself that it was all a waste of time.
And that is the real fact about this insider vs outsider debate. People who are pointing fingers at the Bollywood insiders only just need to look back at their own childhood days. How many of them can honestly say that they have included every outsider in their circle as a kid? How many, as parents, ask their children if they became friends with someone who doesn’t seem to fit in their protective circle? Do we honestly have any right to pass judgement on others when we might ourselves have been guilty of the same crime at some point in life?
Does that mean we don’t question this? Or does it mean that the first person we need to question is our own self?
Change can never start from outside. An ideal change, a productive change is inside out.
It seems like a cliched statement and yet that doesn’t make it false. It hurts to feel like an outsider, I’m a living proof of this. But I also grew very strong and empathetic because of my experiences. Its not all dark and gloomy for an outsider.
But that doesn’t give a person any right to exclude anyone or make them feel small in any way …period!
First published on – SurSangeet2000