To raise Happy, Confident and High Achieving kids, we as parents need to be involved in their life by, providing them with support, guidance and praise, independence to succeed, while giving them the room to fail and experiment. And one thing that we as parents always have for our kids is the gift of our time, be it at home or outside in school or activities.
My husband Sudeep and I are raising two high achieving boys Atiksh (8 years old) and Akshaj (15 years old).
Our 15 years old son Akshaj is a Published Author, is thriving in Academics, Music and Community Service Projects. Our 8 years old knew his Times table, when he was in Preschool. Atiksh who self-taught himself Addition and Subtraction Multiplication and Division is a great Pianist and has been playing Piano since he was 4 years old.
Despite both our boy’s early success, my husband Sudeep and I are realistic about where their talents may lead them and we realize the fact that the boys will eventually have to live in the “Real World”, where the trophies and accolades aren’t going to be a measure of self-worth.
So our priority always has been to raise Happy and Empowered boys, who are able to use their mind in understanding their strengths and thoughts to create: joy and success in their lives, which I know could have different meaning to each of the boy.
Following are the essential key elements for raising children to become motivated, successful and goal-oriented adults.
Follow their lead
For my son Akshaj, we followed his interest of writing, which was evident since he was 4. His passion for writing quickly shifted to become self-driven, and he published his first children’s chapter book “Super Mouse” at the age of 8. As a mother when I recognized Akshaj’s potential and flair of writing, I supported his increasing interest by finding writing workshops, writing contests and other platforms, where he can share his articles, essays or poems. Because, we wanted our boys to be well rounded, we also made sure to encourage their other interests which are Music and Math. Both boys started learning and playing piano at the age of 4.
Nurturing vs Pushing
As we all know, nurturing is when we follow our child’s lead and pushing, on the other hand is when we want our child to follow us or want him to do what we want him to do.
In our family’s case: We followed both our sons lead and supported their interests of Writing, Math’s and Music. Finding right platforms to nurture their interest and creativity like Math / coding workshops for Atiksh and Creative Writing workshops for Akshaj
Words of Encouragement
Encouraging your child literally means “putting in courage or belief” in your child. This support from parents enables them to “see” themselves as they are: competent and can achieve what they set their mind on. My youngest son Atiksh, now age 8, had his Piano Recital two years back. He was excited and really nervous at the same time. My husband Sudeep took him on a side with a smile on his face and pat on his back, Sudeep said, “Baby, you can do it! Mom and I believe in you”. He did it! He played 2 full songs for his recital just like that. Just those two sentences of encouragement made all the difference.
We help set achievable short term goals (Transfer of Power)
In order to empower our children, we allow them to have the power to make their own decisions. We do work together with both our sons to set short term goals. We sit down with them bi weekly to discuss how long it will take them to finish their Homework assignment / project, what days and time will they work on it. It does not work always work always as planned especially with my 8 year old. But, we try to let go and give them space to make mistakes and let them learn from it. Although we are transferring the power to them by letting them set their goals and work towards it, we still are there to provide guidance, support and love to develop their own confidence and self-esteem
People often tell our son’s that your Mom is your biggest cheerleader. And,
Akshaj has always mentioned in several of his articles and TV interviews that unconditional love and support from his parents always keeps him motivated 🙂 This is an example, where we are actually practicing Gratitude by appreciating each other’s efforts and presence in our lives.
When we parent to encourage, support and love unconditionally, we raise children who live with deep feelings of self-assurance and pride. Through positive parenting, we are not just making an effort to remind them of their potential and abilities but, raising motivated, creative, self-aware, emotionally intelligent children. Our reassurance of love and support “no matter what”, surely keeps them motivated and gives them the strength and capability to pursue the opportunities that come their way.