This is the hardest truth. Asking for help is NOT a weakness but it is hard. For many many reasons. I had very few people step up to help me or be kind, growing up and a lot of people who “help” always EXPECT. This made asking for help a liability.
Used to be a time when I used to say no to even offered help (still do) because there are always stings attached BUT even now asking for a “favor” is just not possible!
The many reasons why someone would hate asking for help is –
- Hearing NO when asking for help.
- Feeling let down when help is not offered.
- Dealing with the expectation of helping in return.
- Losing the right to say No when asked for help.
- Getting a job done not to our satisfaction.
Over time I had to unlearn and start asking for help. For the simple reason that everyone asks for help anyway. By me not asking for help, I was setting a precedence of being better than others because I was never obliged to them. More than that, it’s just exhausting doing everything.
As for things not being done to my satisfaction, I ask my kids to help around the house all the time. Do they do anything right the first time? Absolutely not. Do I make them help anyway. Yes. Someday they will learn.
As for older people not doing things the way I like. Well! It’s a life we are all living with our own experiences. Of course everyone’s help is going to look different.
Asking for help is possibly the biggest kindness you can do to yourself. Yes, people might say no but if they say yes , the weight lifted off your shoulders is incredible …
And here’s why we need to teach our kids this early.
Because they need to know that asking for help doesn’t mean a relationship depends on the favor being offered or taken. That saying or hearing NO is not a big deal. Because, sometimes, many times, things don’t go our way and THAT is okay.
How does one teach kids early to ask for help?
💞 Offer it when you see them struggling and insist that they take it.
💞 Teach them to be okay with asking and hearing no.
💞 All help given or taken doesn’t HAVE to have a a return help.
Beyond self care, knowing how to do this practically enables children to be emotionally stable.
To grow into humans that can take the emotional hit of a no or a job not done exactly how we want. Let your kindness be karma. It will come back to you.
It is a behavior they need to develop early. 💪💞 Let them know how to ask for help before they drown in a world that is hard, really hard. Harder than doing the simple thing of asking for help.