Tips for Helping Siblings Share a Room

When I imagined having kids, I always wanted them to share a room. To be together for as long as they could. Sure, I imagined there may be a time when they would ask for or need separate rooms but I want that time to be pushed as far away as I can.

You see, I had very little time with my sibling. Being 10 years younger to me, we were together in the same home for just a little over 8 years of a total.

With a 2.5 bedroom apartment in Kuwait, it didn’t occur to my parents till much later to give me the 1/2 room. Only when I got engaged to be married and my brother went to high school, preparing for college applications, did we part rooms.

Of all those years, my favorite ones were of sharing the same room together.

Laughing, fighting, and just BEING together as we did our own things. He, his school homework and me reading a book or texting. I would tell him to go away when my friends came and he would yell for quiet when playing a game on the computer. Being in the same room together, gave me an insight into his feelings, which otherwise would never come to light!

It was a wonderful connection. This room that we shared for that brief moment in time was a big part of our childhood that we shared.

My daughter slept in her own room till she was 1.5 and her brother entered kindergarten. He had always co-slept with me and in spite of trying to give him his own room, his nightly fears would have him make Grand Central out of the house in the middle of the night.

Halfway through kindergarten, we put them both in a room together. And they both have been inseparable since. It helped his fears of being alone in the night and my daughter also began sleeping better (read: longer) in the mornings. It certainly helps with the sibling wars.

Here are five things that help define spaces for siblings sharing a room:

1. Each One Has their Own Side

A bed on each side of the room, with side tables and a longer table (once train table now study table) in the middle helped them both have their own play space.

Often my daughter even sleeps on the end of the bed so she can see her brother’s face. It’s very cute to hear them whispering and laughing during the weekends when they beg to stay up late.

2. Their Art Over Their Beds

They certainly get a kick out of taping their art to the walls. It gives them a sense of space and authority to have their artwork or keepsakes on their side of the bed.

3. Dividing Their Clothes Categorically

Since they are small they share a dresser and the cupboard. But on the whole, their seasonal clothes all fit into the dresser. The top four are his and the bottom two hers. And they are pretty independent in dressing themselves. Mostly as we prep the night before, they are very aware of what is kept where. Sometimes they even help each other in finding things before school or parties.

4. Their Toys Under Their Beds

Toys are sorted into three boxes each and pushed them under their beds. So when it’s play time, they both know where their things are. So, when it’s clean-up time, it helps them sort things faster and with lesser of “but it’s her/his stuff“.

5. Decorating Their Walls With Their Favorite Themes

I have made sure to put their favorite themes on the remaining two walls in an equal manner so that each has their favorite princesses and superheroes to look at.

Other than keeping them connected, this also helps them get over the ‘boys can only have this and girls can only have that’ feeling early. Both my kids take pride in having all kinds of characters adorning their walls.

Sharing a room, as I learned early and in college, teaches one a lot about making compromises, respecting others’ stuff and giving another space – a lot of life lessons that are essential to any relationship.

Training Kids to Help Out with Household Chores

“Sometimes we are moms who do too much because we have children who do too little. Make it your goal to work yourself out of a job. If a child can use a cell phone, they can run a washing machine.” – Unknown

It’s very common to see a mother multitasking between caring for her kids, cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes, folding the laundry and keeping her home organized and functional. And for a working mother, whether working from home or office, these tasks seems double. When I read the word ‘Multitasking’, I often think that the ‘M’ is put there for a MOTHER!

If a mother had to make a resume for herself, she wouldn’t even have to mention ‘Multitasking’ in her skill set. It’s just something that comes naturally to you, the day you become a mother.

It’s been a Hard Time for Most Moms

The pandemic has taken a huge toll on so many mothers’ health – physically, mentally and emotionally. Losing loved ones, job cuts, financial crisis, families separated, lack of medical support, schools suspended, etc. – we have seen it all and more in the past two years. Additionally, with the entire family being home 24/7, home chores seemed to have scaled new heights for all mothers. Also, mothers working from home seemed to clock in for 24 hour shifts, without being able to clock out.

The past two years have taught us numerous things – patience, resilience, the importance of good health and self-care, the value of a simple meal, the respect for basic necessities, the need to reach out to loved ones and ask for help and more. It has also taught most mothers one very important lesson – to make our children self-reliant from a young age and not wait until they are older. Yes, we NEED to start them young!

Starting the Kids Young

Getting kids to help with chores around the house is a great way to instill in them discipline and time management; it also teaches them to be self-sufficient, independent and supportive. Training kids to do their own chores and help with chores around the house should start when they are young. Most parents make the mistake of waiting until the kids are older; by then kids have their own personalities, mood swings and other adolescent problems.

If you’re a mom guilty of doing too much because your kids do too little, remember, it’s never too late to get your kids to start with doing their own chores at the least.

Getting the Kids to become Mom’s Assistants

Start off with some easy and doable chores for young kids like

Get them to put their toys back in place
Teach them to put their dirty clothes/uniform in the laundry basket
Get them to wash their own plate or cup
Get them to put their shoes in the shoe rack
Train them to make their own simple breakfast – cereal with milk, peanut butter sandwich, cheese sandwich, Nutella sandwich, fruit salad

Getting kids to do their own work will increase their self-confidence; every task completed will feel like an accomplishment and they will take pride in doing other tasks assigned to them.

Training Mom’s not-so-little Helpers

Once the kids have achieved the feat of doing their own chores, they can move on to assisting their parents in

Tidying up the room and making their bed
Folding their own laundry
Organizing their wardrobe/closet
Gardening – mowing, trimming the grass, watering the plants
Cleaning – sweeping, moping, vacuuming, doing the dishes
Carrying the groceries

Chores for older kids to do with or without adult supervision

Cook breakfast – eggs, pancakes, crepes, grilled sandwiches, etc.
Make milkshakes, smoothies and breakfast bowls
Assist with meal preps – chop veggies for salad or stir-fry, shape meatballs or cutlets, prepare marinades or dressings
Assist in baking cookies, cupcakes, brownies, etc.

While training kids to help around the house, parents can pick and choose from various chores, as they best know and understand the nature and ability of their child.

A 5-year-old may be able to make his own bed, while another may be able to make himself a sandwich. Chores mustn’t be assigned to kids to make them feel competitive. Kids must be given tasks to do around the house with the intention of making them independent and teaching them to be supportive to their family.

Remember, a responsible child always grows up to become a self-sufficient and pro-active adult.
And as a bonus, mommy get some FREE-time or ME-time too!