Teaching the Mother Tongue to Children in a Foreign Country

July 9, 2018

by Mahathi Ramya with 15 Comments Education India Languages Parenting Voices

Being bilingual is beneficial for children. People who know more than one language have better problem-solving skills and are good at decision making as per the latest research. If you are like me, who relocated to a foreign country, do you feel difficult to teach mother tongue to your kids?

When we moved to the USA 2 years ago, we visited a doctor for a regular checkup for my kids, the doctor asked if my toddler can speak/ understand 2 languages. I said, “yes”. She told me that it is good for the development of children to learn more than one language and she encouraged me to continue teaching 2 languages to my children. But, Teaching the mother tongue to children in a foreign country is not that easy as everyone around our kids speak one language which influences them more. My children speak English fluently with friends and teachers and converse in “Telugu” (our mother tongue – a South Indian Language) at home.

Here is a post on a few tips for the parents staying in foreign countries to teach mother tongue to their children.

1. Speak the mother tongue at home:

Learning always starts at home for children. If we speak in our native language to our kids, they tend to catch the words and use them. The only way to teach a new language is to get them exposed to the vocabulary in that language. By constantly listening to the language at home, children learn quickly. Start with teaching simple instructions like – “Switch on the light” and get them familiar with basics like greeting others, asking for help, requesting and thanking someone.

2. Make writing the new language a part of their homework:

If we have to separately teach Telugu at our home, it is tough as the concentration levels of children below 7 years is not more than 20 to 30 mins. So, I make it a part of their homework. After finishing their class homework, they spend only 10 mins writing the Telugu alphabets. After the children learn all the alphabets we can move to forming words and sentences and making them write simple words like their name, some objects/ toys they like etc.,

3. Read stories in native language:

Reading stories is the best way to teach anything to the children. They focus and understand better when anything is narrated as a story. So, get some books of your native language and read them daily. This way, they catch the new words and sentences and even try to use them when they speak.

4. Encourage and Correct their mistakes then and there:

When children try a new language, they are hesitant if they are using right words or not. So, encourage them to speak and help them with the vocabulary. If they use wrong words/ make mistakes while speaking, gently correct them then and there, so that they won’t forget. Use the language that they are comfortable with(like English) as a medium to teach new words and their meanings so that they can correlate both the languages easily.

5. Use tools/ aids to support learning:

We can make use of word games to encourage kids to learn new words. Crossword puzzles, word jumble, and Pictionary are some of the fun ways to teach languages. We can ask kids to identify the letters, form sentences using specific words and even ask them to give an impromptu speech for one minute on their favorite topic. Watching movies in our native language also improves vocabulary to a great extent.

Click here to download our comprehensive checklist. A great tool to make sure your kids speak their native language.

Numerous studies have shown that learning more than one language can improve brain function and can help in multitasking. It is surprising to know that being bilingual also slows the aging process.

Can your children speak 2 languages? Do you encourage them to learn a new language? If you are in a foreign country, do you teach your children your mother tongue? Let me know if any of my tips find helpful.

Mahathi Ramya is a mom of 2 boys, a blogger, software testing professional and a classical dance teacher. She writes on books, travel, and parenting. She loves writing, traveling and painting a lot.

Sanju – a Cautionary Tale for Different Stages of Life

July 6, 2018

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 6 Comments Contemporary Movie Movies Voices

It takes bravery to be open with a stranger. And when you put your story out there for everyone to see your colossal mistakes in all their glory, that is certainly as act of courage.

Yes, Sanju the movie is a self serving project. To accept every mistake Sanjay Dutt has ever made publicly globally, and to state once and for all, on the record that he is not a terrorist.

And after the media circus/court rooms that we see time and again, specially these days at every tragic turn, this is totally an amazing stand to take. To tell people not everything they “see” is to be believed. That often things are not what they are portrayed.

After I saw the movie, my brain was reeling from the many gems of life this story had to say. Tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, I wondered if ever I would be in the same position at the parents? I was astounded at the life of this super star, so painful and so much courage by those who support him. It’s easy to give up on someone. But to stand up with someone who constantly “chooses” to do the wrong thing is beyond commendable.

You see Sanjay Dutt as the person he has been, and is. A broken, fearful, hopeless, insecure, horrible person who constantly took the easy way out. And then suffered colossally each and every time.

This is not a review of the movie because every story with a message is worth listening to, no matter how it is made or created. Love it or hate it, you are certainly going to think about it. Talk about it.

I have always believed in the power of story telling. And Sanju, the movie tells a powerful story. This movie is an amazing example of the pitfalls that you could fall into, as a parent, teen and as a human being. No one can.

For Teens

Children get angry. Constantly. As parents, we rub them the wrong way. Kids feel every emotion, purely, strongly.

But what this movie tells us is to make sure our children know that

One cannot escape from one’s problems. They are going to have to be dealt with.Be angry, but your anger needs a HEALTHY channel. If you are having issues you are going to have to resolve it. Escapism can feel like an easy way out but it certainly isn’t. Your problems will keep rearing their ugly head.
Many people may SEEM like they are your friends, but if you look closely enough they aren’t. Be open to exploring their intentions before accepting their actions.
It’s important to depend on someone completely for support. Appreciating that person is most important. Do everything to keep the person who shows you the right way in your life.
Don’t ever fear doing the right thing, no matter what the consequences.
Of course, drugs and alcohol are not the solution to ANYTHING!

For Parents

You are going to want to support your child at every turn. But at some time you are going to have to let go.
Your expectations are not the sum total of what your child is. Let them be themselves in their way.
Human beings are an insecure lot. Appreciate your child for all the good they do as much as you scold them for their wrong doings. Build them up cautiously.
At some point, you have to stop being a parent, and become an friend who shares.
Let your child see your vulnerability in raising them. Your sacrifices should not go unnoticed for they are a big part of your child’s future.
After a certain age, be open about your mistakes to your child so they can learn from them.

For Every Human Being

Stand up for what you believe in.
Never spread malicious gossip about another. You do not know the suffering they have undergone.
Judging another is easy from your personal pedestal. To empathize you would have to know their whole story and that is impossible till you know a person completely.
Be a friend to someone in need. No matter how inconvenient it might be. You may be their only hope.
Laughter can make even the worst experiences a cherish-able moment. Never forget your sense of humor.

So, if you are a parent of a teen, talk to them after seeing the movie. You might not be comfortable watching it with them if you are conservative (pole dancing girls and lot of talk about sex and drugs) but make sure to bring home the many lessons the movie has to offer. I promise, this is one movie worth watching, even if separately and talking about.

Take advantage of the life of a person who accepts his lows as his own mistakes.

What other movies do you think make the list? See our recommendations here.

Aditi Wardhan Singh, founder and chief editor of Raising World Children online magazine is a mom of two adorable kids, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place which led her to specialize in writing about cultural sensitivity when parenting. She writes for a number of large publications, including Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmond Moms Blog, Richmond Family Magazine, Desh Videsh. She has also been featured as a parenting expert on NBC. A computer engineer by profession, she turned entrepreneur by founding Raising World Children online magazine. At RWC, she is bringing voices from around the world together to talk about the synergy of today’s cultures with world heritage. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. . She has also contributed to the best selling anthology “When You Are Done Expecting” and is coming out with her new book “Strong Roots Have No Fear. ”

What it’s like to Living in a Tiny Tourist Town Raising Kids

July 4, 2018

by Jewel Elise with 5 Comments Parenting Voices

You’ve made it. You’re finally here.

The streets are filled with other tourists like you, slightly lost even though it’s a small town. You wander around admiring the jagged badlands peeking from behind the western style buildings.

Everything is quaint.

Kids laugh and swing in a nearby playground, and the smell of burgers and pizza floats your way. Flowers are planted in pots and wells around town and lining sidewalks. You follow a trail of perennials up to what you assume is one of the many gift shops.

But it’s not.

A sign hanging by the door states that this little house is a private residence, and you can’t help but wonder.

What would it be like to live in a tiny tourist town all year round?

Summer

‘Cause a little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.
–John Mayer

During the rushing summer season, I work in the historic Rough Rider’s Hotel as a server in Theodore’s Dining Room. I love it. There are so many people from all over the world, and not just my coworkers, but customers.

And the number one question I hear when a table sees my nametag that declares Medora as my home is, “What’s it like to live in a tiny tourist town?”

In the summer it’s hot and busy. It’s a rush of smiling faces, meeting new friends, and serving the traveling public. When not working, my kids and I pretend to be a tourist, taking in the musical, ice-cream, shops, and toys. It’s great to get pictures of their smiles as they play mini golf or splash in a pool.

The only downside is my kiddos and I barely see my husband. This is the season of work, and he likes to half-joke in June that he’ll see us, his waiting family, on his next day off.

Which will be in September.

Fall

[bctt tweet=”Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall. –F. Scott Fitzgerald” username=”contactrwc”]

August passes by in a blur you can barely remember. Many of the workers are only half-present as each can almost feel themselves back in their respective homes.

Happy, but exhausted we enter the Fall season.

The streets, which only a couple of weeks ago were filled with life, are quiet. Like a scene from an old cowboy film, you almost expect to see a tumbleweed rolling across the deserted roads. Then the monsters come out as children from the Medora school go trick-or-treating to the well-decorated houses. The kids skip to a brick-made elementary school so quaint it even comes with a clock-tower.

Life as a postcard.

Fall also means a time for the workers to get any vacation time in they can. After the busy summer, many full-time employees feel the need to ‘escape’ from this little town for a time. To see something more than the awe-inspiring badlands or the nearest Walmart.

Change is necessary.

Winter

Snow falling soundlessly in the middle of the night will always fill my soul with sweet clarity.
–Novala Takemoto

There is a joke told by Jeff Foxworthy that goes something like this:

The four seasons of North Dakota are, winter, winter, still winter…and road construction.

It can feel as though winter in Medora never ends. Deep in the season, the days are mostly night as the sun falls behind the buttes around 4 pm. The temperatures with the windshield can reach up to -50 degrees and the snow so deep at times that my children cannot trudge through it un-shoveled. Sometimes, you wish to drive east or west on I-94 to see a new set of snow, only to find the highway closed. You begin to wonder precisely why you live in this tiny town.

It can be difficult; it can wear on your emotions.

Luckily, it’s stunning.

The snow falls in white cotton chunks that make the city look like a shaken snow globe. Christmas lights line the Rough Rider Hotel and shops while music from the hotel echoes down the snow-covered street. Tourists walk around for Cowboy Christmas carrying their hot chocolates as a horse and carriage trots by.

Idyllic.

Beautiful.

Spring

[bctt tweet=”Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. –Seneca” username=”contactrwc”]

After a harsh, chilled winter, the citizens come out in Spring like animals from hibernation. Slowly you see people strolling the sidewalks once more, or bump into your neighbor at the gas station. We always end up remarking that, though we planned to get together during the winter season, we haven’t seen each other since last summer.

The time truly flies.

And it never soars faster than in a Medora spring. There is the terrifying wait to hear if each department will get its seasonal employees, foreign or American. There is the race and worry to get each store and restaurant cleaned, stocked and ready to open for the season. Spring is a moment of pulling your hair out with worry and stress, yet each of us here learns something about ourselves and co-workers that we never knew before.

We grow and mature like the young plants and buds around us.

But it is a joy to watch the new faces arrive, from near and far. To see old friends from past seasons and meet future friends. To see this unique city come alive once more. To see my kids play with others once more, to swim, laugh and play.

When you live in a tourist town, you may sometimes hear a visitor standing outside your door, chatting with friends or family. They may peek in your window or even sit on your front steps, thinking your home is another shop.

It can feel like you are an animal in a zoo.

But, it is lovely, emotional, and quaint, just like one of the Marquise’s paintings.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. –Stanley Horowitz

How We Celebrate Sri Krishna Jeyanthi At Our Home

July 2, 2018

by Vasantha Vivek with 10 Comments festivals Heritage Voices

India is famous for its cultural and traditional richness of festivals and celebrations. We, our family love the second half of every year since those six months are full of many festivals. I personally love to celebrate many festivals like Maha Shiva Rathri, Krishna Jeyanthi, Vinayagar Chaturthi because of their vibrant, colorful, foodie and cultural way of celebrations rather than their religions importance.

Festivals really help us to inculcate friendship, cultural importance and moral values in the young minds of our children. Recently we celebrated Sri Krishna Jeyanthi at our home. So I thought of sharing the pooja and celebrations of Sri Krishna Jeyanthi with you to throw some light on our Indian tradition and culture.

What Is Sri Krishna Jeyanthi?

Krishna Janmashtami or Janmashtami or Sri Krishna Jeyanthi is an annual Hindu festival that celebrates the birth of Krishna, the eighth avatar of Vishnu.

When Is Sri Krishna Jeyanthi Celebrated?

It is celebrated on the eighth day (Ashtami) of the Krishna Paksha (dark fortnight) during August or September.

What Are The Other Names For Sri Krishna Jeyanthi?

Krishna Astami
Janmashtami
Gokulasthami
Sree Jayanti

How We Celebrate Sri Krishna Jeyanthi At Our Home?

We invite our friends and relatives for the pooja and festival. Sri Krishna Jeyanthi is a fun filled celebration particularly for kids. So we invite all nearby kids for the festival. Also, we involve our son to be a part of the celebrations by making decorations and arrangements at our home.

Beautiful Krishna Sticker At Our Drawing Hall

We welcome our guests with colorful Kolam or Rangoli. Also we draw small footprints of rice flour from the entrance of our house to our pooja room. This is for welcoming Sri Krishna to our house. Making the footprints using rice flour is for small creatures like ant and insects to eat. We just care more for all living creatures.

Krishna's Footprints — Krishna’s Footprints

All the idols and photos of gods and goddesses at our pooja room are decorated with flowers, garlands and jewels. And Sri Krishna statue or photo is specially decorated. We offer Sweet Aval or Poha, Seedai, Murrukku, Butter, Butter Milk, Jhangiri, Pal Kova, Betal Leaves, Coconut and Fruits as prasad. Mostly the snacks will be prepared at home with extra flavor of yummy ghee. Krishna is a big lover of butter and ghee. So we believe that he will bless us with all abundance by tasting his favorite snacks.

Krishna songs and slogams will be played. The house will be filled with aroma of splendid incense sticks. It adds a divine effect to the celebrations. All family members will assemble and the eldest of the family will do the pooja. And the pooja starts with Aarthi, Songs and ends with yummy snacks.

Sri Krishna Jeyanthi - Offerings To Lord Sri Krishna - Raising World Children — Offerings To Lord Sri Krishna

Children will be dressed as Krishna and Radha. The elders will tell the stories of Sri Krishna. They enjoy by singing songs, playing instruments, dancing, reciting mantras, drawing, coloring and playing dramas. We, ladies, myself, my amma and my mother in law will recite Krishna Astakam and sing Sri Krishna Songs.

Also we visit to nearby Krishna Temples. Anna Thanam or Donation of Food will be offered at most of the temples on this auspicious day. We would usually donate some money and rice for this ceremony. Thus festivals will bring us closer, kinder and happier by all means. Also festivals are an easy way to teach spirituality to our kids.

What Mantra To be Chanted On Sri Krishna Jeyanthi?

We will chant Krishna Maha Mantra. This mantra can be chanted by anyone irrespective of religion, faith, gender and nation.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare

Krishna means “the all-attractive one,” and Rama means “the reservoir of pleasure.” Hare invokes His presence in our lives. This Maha (great) Mantra – chanting of His holy names brings innate satisfaction and the highest pleasure to all of us.

Info Source: ISKON, Delhi.

What Is The Significance Of Krishna Maha Mantra?

The sound and vibrations of this maha mantra will bring peace, happiness, cleanse the mind and soul, suppress our sorrows and anxieties.

Do you celebrate any festivals? What are the fun and joy about your festivals? How do you involve your kids on the celebrations? Please share with us …… And stay tuned for our Vinayagar Chaturthi celebrations .

Vasantha Vivek loves to call herself as a happy woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, teacher, friend, mentor, seeker, lover. She’s from Kovilpatti, a small town of Southern Tamilnadu of India. She was a teacher by profession. She worked as a professor at an Engineering College for nearly 15 years. She has learned a lot as a teacher. She hopes that she had inspired some hearts during that period. Teaching is her passion Reading is her love. Cooking is her heart. She enjoys reading and writing very much. You can find her @mysweetnothings on Facebook and Twitter.

5 Interesting Attributes of Mangalorean Catholics in India

June 29, 2018

by Featured Guest with 16 Comments Heritage Voices

Easter was celebrated worldwide on April 16. This Christian festival, which is actually holds more importance than Christmas, marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ three days after his death by crucifixion at the hands of the Romans. It also marks the end of 40 days of Lent, which is a period when Christians have a religious obligation to fast, pray and observe penance.

Estimates peg the number of Christians worldwide at more than 2.2 billion. Of these, around 27 million are Indians. Yours truly happens to be one among them.

Christianity in India

The history of Christianity in India is almost as old as the history of Christianity itself. As per ancient Indian Christian tradition, the religion and culture surround it was brought to India by Thomas the Apostle around AD 50 in a region that now forms part of the Southern Indian state of Kerala. It is also said that another Apostle, Bartholomew, disembarked on the western coast of India and spread Jesus’ message.

The number of Christians in the southern state of Kerala who practice the Syrian Orthodox doctrine of Christianity is evidence of the fact that India is home to some of the earliest Christians in the world.

However, Christianity in India spread significantly between the 16th and the early 19th centuries, when Portugal had colonies in India. Erstwhile Portuguese colonies in India, including Goa, Daman, Diu and Dadra & Nagar Haveli, and even Mumbai are known to be home to large populations of native Christians even today.

Between the 16th and early 19th centuries, Portuguese Missionaries, with the support of the Colonists, were able to convert hordes of natives in their colonies to Christianity (Roman Catholicism to be precise).

It is worthwhile, however, to know that not all of these conversions were done in the right attitude and spirit on the part of the Portuguese Missionaries. In fact, there are many stories of natives being coerced, sometimes with the threat of violence or attachment of property.

[bctt tweet=”I to belong to a family of Catholics who originate from the Mangalore district of the southern India, in Karnataka. Originally Portugese.” username=”contactrwc”]

History of Mangalorean Catholics

I happen to belong to a family of Catholics who originate from the Mangalore district of the southern Indian state of Karnataka. After a lot of reading and discussions with older generations in the family, I learnt that Mangalorean Catholics were originally inhabitants of the Portuguese colony of Goa.

Apparently, they had migrated out of/fled from Goa at different points in time for reasons ranging from the Portuguese Inquisition in Goa (circa 1560), the occurrence of famines and epidemics and political upheavals/wars. It is interesting to note that most of these Mangaloreans religiously held onto a lot of their Hindu/native Indian customs and traditions.

[bctt tweet=”Most Mangaloreans religiously held onto a lot of their Hindu/native Indian customs and traditions.” username=”contactrwc”]

Language and Dialects

Although the younger generation prefers to speak in Hindi (the national language of India) or in English, in traditional Mangalorean Catholic households the language spoken is Konkani.

Konkani is actually the language used by Goans and has a lot of Portuguese influence, but the Konkani used by Mangalorean Catholics is heavily influenced by the South Indian languages of Kannada and Tulu. Also, interestingly, the Mangalorean Konkani is written in Kannada script.

Bilingual Names

Traditional Mangaloreans will always have a Christian or a European name, and also a native/Indian middle name. For example, my full name is Christopher Roshan D’Souza. My brother’s name is Ravi Vincent D’Souza. You will also find a tradition of pet names like Pedru for Peter, Ijju for Isabelle, Mettu for Matilda, Gibba for Gilbert, Panchu for Francis, and so on.

History of surnames

Mangalorean Catholics bear Portuguese surnames. This is because our Goan ancestors assumed the surnames of the Portuguese priests who baptised them when they were converted, or their Portuguese godparents.

Hence, you will find surnames like Furtado, Pinto, D’Souza, Pereira, Gomes, Coutinho, Fernandes, and so on in the community. But prod the elders in the community a little and they will tell you the Indian surnames of their ancestors – Prabhu, Shenoy, Nayak, Pai, Kamath, Shet, and so on.

Wedding Rituals

A Mangalorean Catholic Wedding will initially look like a European White Wedding in the Chapel. Later, you will see Indian rituals like flowers being used to adorn brides’ hair, brides being draped with traditional red Indian bridal sarees (known in the community as ‘Sado’).

Bridegrooms tying Mangalsutras around their wives’ necks, farm produce like pumpkins, rice, betelnuts, coconuts, etc. being exchanged between families, and many others.

On the evening before the wedding, a ceremony known as ‘Ros’ is organised. This is for both the bride as well as the groom by their respective families. A symbolic purification and anointing is conducted by way of applying coconut milk on their heads, hands and feet – this is like a traditional Hindu ‘Haldi’ ceremony.

There is also a ceremony at the end of the wedding reception known as ‘Opsun’, which is similar to the ‘handing over’ ceremony called ‘Vidaai’ that Hindus practice, wherein the bride’s parents symbolically hand over their daughter to her in-laws and request them to treat her as their own daughter.

Warding off Evil Eye

There is a very Indian concept known as ‘the evil eye’. There is believed to be a curse cast unknowingly by a malevolent glare. It is believed that it can be caused either when someone looks at you with evil intentions, or envies you, or sometimes even when someone is extremely fond of you.

It is believed that receiving the evil eye will cause misfortune or injury. Traditional Mangalorean Catholic households follow the traditional Hindu way of warding off the evil eye with the help of salt, red chilli peppers and some exotic Indian spices.

These interesting trivia are merely the tip of the iceberg as far as the community is concerned.

Christopher Roshan D’Souza is father to a 3 year old boy. By profession, he has a Masters Degree in Finance. He is working as a Research Analyst with a reputed global data and insights company. In an alternate life, he is a blogger who loves writing poems and short stories. He has a keen interest in music across genres, is a football fanatic (Arsenal FC fan), and is currently learning to play the guitar. He also loves trekking to hill forts and photography. Christopher likes to describe himself as a Jack of a few trades and a master of some, and as an introvert who loves appreciation yet hates being in the limelight.

Creating an Intentional, Bilingual, Bicultural Wedding

June 27, 2018

by Courtney Harris with 10 Comments festivals Heritage Voices

This month’s piece is a personal one, a little glimpse into some of my values and lifestyle. It is my hope that reading about my experience will invite you into a place of reflection about your own values. Whether or not you have planned a wedding or hope to have one, the intentions and ideas I share can be applied to any family situation.

We Said yes! Now, What?!

Do you remember when I wrote about Valentine’s Day and how much I LOVE it?! Because Valentine’s Day is so special to me, without much planning, but with so much excitement, I decided to ask my partner, Adrian, to marry me. We were sitting on our couch after a delicious tapas dinner, and with a little heart-shaped box, a slip of paper that said “Our Forever…,” and 4 words, I asked him. He said yes!

Because a proposal felt important to both of us, we decided to wait to announce our engagement until Adrian asked me too.

Just about two months later, on our fifth anniversary of dating, after eating at the same tapas restaurant we had on Valentine’s day, Adrian gifted me his annual mini canvas creation that signifies each of our years together. After a few minutes of looking at the collection of five canvases, I flipped it over. There was a question mark, and before I knew it, Adrian was on his knee, with a ring, asking me to marry him. I said yes!

We’ve been in a dedicated partnership for sometime; yet, setting the intention to get married has brought us to new, deeper conversations about how we want to create a life together long-term. These conversations, consequently, have brought up some of the crucial elements we are considering as plan our wedding. Because we view the wedding as a representation of our unique union, the details have begun to matter quite a lot.

What Matters Most?

As Adrian and I started the interesting, challenging, special, and mind-blowing experience of planning the biggest fiesta of our lives, we’ve tapped into what matters most. Through the help of A Practical Wedding, we generated a list of 3 words that will guide all of the decisions we make about this party: meaningful, fun, and affordable. Each decision we make, about the location, the food, the DJ, the clothing, and so on must align with this vision.

Fun and affordable are pretty straightforward, so I’m excited to share what meaningful means to us.

We are a bicultural couple. I’m white, and Adrian is Mexican-American. I speak primarily English, and my Spanish is always improving. Adrian is bilingual in English and Spanish. We have so much love for one another, and for both of us, family– immediate and extended– is important. Over the last five years, we have become integral parts of one another’s families.

Meaningful, then, means making our special ceremony and awesome dance party bilingual, so that each guest knows that they an important part of our journey and union. Our ceremony will flow between English and Spanish, making our intentions accessible to all of our guests.

Creating a Bi-Cultural Wedding

As we create the vision of our wedding, we consider how each component can draw from the traditions of our two families and cultures. These are some of the ways we plan to bring all of our loved ones and communities together to celebrate:

Post-wedding menudo party
Inviting family members to lead parts of the ceremony
Playing music in English and Spanish
Serving Tex-Mex and Mexican food
Having a friend bless us (our families are both Catholic)
Hosting a “dollar dance”

More about the Meaning

As we consider what our wedding, and more importantly, our marriage, means to us, we are rediscovering and naming our shared values. As we work through this process, we are considering how our upcoming union and incredible party will reflect our beliefs and priorities. This is all a part of creating a meaningful day.

One element that we will weave in, for example, our values of equality and partnership. As feminists, we assess which pieces of the traditions feel supportive of our union. Our joint proposal is one way that we upheld the importance of equality. As partners, we focus on building one another up and offering unconditional support. As we plan this exciting celebration, we will incorporate language and symbols that honor our connected partnership.

Together, our vision is to build community through our wedding day and beyond. We want to create a day that focuses on family and community, again, drawing on the value of equality. We want ALL of our parents and siblings to hold special roles in the day, as well as our closest family and friends. Furthermore, we are prepared to receive love, support, ideas, and help from our dear ones. Here’s to peaceful planning for a meaningful wedding, and a lifetime of love, community, and fun!

Beyond Planning a Wedding

Of course, the wedding is one special day that Adrian and I will bring our families together to celebrate love and community. Beyond this day, though, I’d like to continue using the guide of three key descriptors to anchor us through all of the seasons of life. For example, perhaps we will play with picking three words to describe the type of summer we want to have or three words to describe the home environment we want to create.

I invite you to explore this intention-setting activity with your family, too. The options are endless, from describing bedtime routines with three words to identifying three key feelings for family vacations to three qualities for next school year. Let me know what you come up with!

As a Life Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they explore their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in practicing self-care, growing alongside their children, and developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their rapidly-changing child is creating. Through Intentional Parents of Tweens and Teens, an online membership for parents of adolescents, Courtney offers parents the time and space to learn, grow, problem-solve, and relate to one another in a supportive community. Sessions with Courtney lovingly guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease.

http://courtneyharriscoaching.com/

https://www.instagram.com/courtneyharriscoaching/

https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/

What Giving Birth Abroad Taught Me About Hospital Visitors

June 25, 2018

by Jewel Elise with 7 Comments America New Parents Parenting Travel Voices

Do you remember that moment?

That one terrifying moment when you don’t hear a cry, when you don’t know if you new baby is breathing or not. Then the new baby shrieks the first of many. You tear up as they lay the naked child, still wet and goopy, on your skin.

One of the best moments in life.

Reality slowly sets in. You’re still in a daze, but you can feel the effect of giving birth on, you know, down there. You are crushed, maybe torn, and exhausted.

Do you stink? Maybe.

Is your hair such a mess that is a nest fit for birds. Probably.

And this is the time that family and friends come rushing in, cameras at the ready.

Say cheese!

European Birth

I gave birth to my son, my first born in Ukraine.

New mothers and fathers know as much as they can from the internet, babysitting, siblings, but until you have your own sweet baby, parents know about as much as their newborn.

Nothing.

It is a learning experience, and the best one. But I have the advantage and disadvantage of adding culture to the mix. Not only did I not know on an experienced level what to expect with birth and parenting, but I didn’t know the language or what to expect from the Ukrainian’s around me. Even after having lived there for three years already. It was always new.

A Few Ways

For example, each culture has different superstitions. There was a nurse/janitor/receptionist who I’d never seen before. Even that day. Mind you, I was walking around because I was in labor. In pain. And this middle-aged woman walked past me and yanked out my ponytail.

If you’ve ever had long hair, you know this hurts.

This was too much for even Ukrainians to do. It wasn’t okay. But she had her reasons for pulling that ponytail out. She thought she was helping me because Ukrainian’s, at least from what I experienced, believe that you should have nothing wrapped around or on you while you’re in labor, lest the baby get the cord around its neck.

Unexpected

Another thing I didn’t expect but didn’t think much of at the time was after my son was born. We went to our private room and were alone. No one hospital visitors. There weren’t allowed for safety and sanitary reasons. Maybe it should have been sad not to see family after the miracle of birth.

But it was amazing.

[bctt tweet=”We went to our private room and were alone. No one hospital visitors. There weren’t allowed for safety and sanitary reasons. Maybe it should have been sad not to see family after the miracle of birth. But it was amazing.” username=”contactrwc”]

My husband and I stared at our perfect son in awe, the way his nose was button shaped and kissable. How his eyes were almond shaped and the subtle rose-pink birthmark on his nose. That first diaper change. We got to know our son together. And alone.

And I slept.

When my Ukrainian family met my kiddo for the first time, I was ready. I had showered, my make-up was on as best as I could, and I had decent clothes on. No, I didn’t look like the lovely Duchess of Cambridge, but holding my son and showing him off for the first time when we were ready, made me feel like royalty.

American

And then came baby number two.

We had moved back to the US and decided we wanted our son to have a sibling. I had baby fever. At one point I took out my son’s old newborn nighty and showed my husband how tiny it was. How cute.

We were ready.

Yet, everything was different than before.

I was an experienced mom. I had been pregnant before, but I had to re-learn my own culture and the way American’s handle pregnancy’s. I had to wait until almost 12 weeks before I could see my doctor this time and there seemed to be more tests. Still, I loved how I could talk to my doctor and how modern, clean and, homey, the hospital felt.

I was happy to have my daughter back home in the US.

But there was one thing I wanted to keep the same as in Ukraine. I didn’t want visitors in the hospital afterward.

[bctt tweet=”I was happy to have my daughter back home in the US. But there was one thing I wanted to keep the same as in Ukraine. I didn’t want visitors in the hospital afterward.” username=”contactrwc”]

It may not have been a big deal if I hadn’t seen and felt first-hand how precious that first day or two with your child and spouse is. It may not be right for everyone, but it was right for us.

Though, it didn’t go over well with all of my family, understandably. Though, once we had many conversations and explanations, my family realized this is the way it would be. My husband’s Ukrainian family, of course, was used to it.

And I’m glad we chose it this way.

We got to know our newborn daughter, the way her eyes squished, how many birthmarks she had (three) and to peek under her grandmother-knit hat to see her full head of dark hair. It was our time.

Our golden days.

Yes, I did miss my mother, brother and best friend. I had the strong, fantastic pride a mother feels for her child and couldn’t wait to show her off to them. But I was tired. I was gross. And my body felt terrible. When each person I love saw her, we were all comfortable. Relaxed. Each person was able to spend one on one time with the baby and me.

I felt better and hope they did as well.

It’s Your Choice

You may be different than me. You may be that mom that looks and feels like royalty after giving birth and are ready for the cameras.

But maybe not.

Maybe you’re thinking it might be nice not to have the hospital doors swinging open with nurses and an audience of well-meaning, excited family and friends.

This is a time you will never get back with your baby and spouse. If you choose to have it be just for you three, then that’s okay.

Smile and say cheese for your ready-to-share selfies.

Jewel Eliese is a fiction writer, developmental editor, co-creator of the Medium publication Writer Mom and founder of writeawaymommy.com. Jewel runs on lukewarm coffee and baby kisses. She believes every mom can write well. Get the free checklist to find time to write with kids around here writeawaymommy.com/checklist/

What Celebrating Birthdays Does for Our Kids

June 22, 2018

by Malvika Roy Singh with 11 Comments festivals Voices

Childhood is often reminisced with fond memories, especially around special occasions like festivals, summer or winter vacations and of course, birthdays.

My childhood is replete with such fond memories and I often like to revive and relive these memories through each passing year, in my own small way.

Although, a tad bit older, none the bit wiser, I try to recreate the magic of those moments. Memories around birthdays don’t need an “age” or a number specificity to cherish and celebrate.

I choose to celebrate each and everything, including birthdays, which my parents celebrated to make us feel special and loved.

My Special Days

Birthdays for instance were a big deal for me, especially in my growing up years. I remember it was in standard 5, when I decided that I was too grown up for childlike pompom laced birthday parties. I clearly remember how I had declared that I was a grown up then and strictly told my parents to stop creating a hullabaloo around my birthday any more.

To respect an eleven year old child’s decision, they made sure my last formal, childlike birthday party was way beyond “normal”. They got me a special castle shaped cake with all fancy sugar decorations (in those days getting ice cream cones as the castle tops with silver balls and bells was a great deal on cake). Apart from that, they called almost everyone from their world, arranged some fancy games, and literally hosted a party that lasted to the wee hours of night.

Honestly, as an eleven year old, I felt I had grown up, but my parents hadn’t. I was all the more certain of not repeating the celebrations anymore to save myself from further embarrassments caused through my parents over-indulgence.

Anyway, the years rolled by, but my parents didn’t leave any stone upturned to help me savor my birthdays. The years since then, still were laced with birthday celebrations of a different kind.

Although, there were no “party” parties as such, yet there were gifts wrapped and placed near my pillow, surprise cake in the morning, special breakfasts, formal lunches with friends all laced with homemade fancy food, and night time were reserved with cozy dinners with family. From morning to evening, I was made to feel as if I had done something great by simply taking birth on this planet.

As I look back now, I feel my parents left me more than fond memories around my birthdays.

What It Meant

They left me a treasure chest of feelings indescribable into words. They chose occasions like birthdays to help me realize that I was that special thing in their life that made their life worth living. Birthdays were a way to be thankful for everything they had and felt, through me or my siblings. To help us understand the happiness that they felt, they created that soft cocoon of happiness around us, which till today we would like to carry as part of some unstated legacy.

The fact that we were cherished, loved and respected is what has made us, the siblings grow strong, emotionally stable and mentally secure. We now don’t crave for material cravings, but rather the companionship of our loved ones on special days to nurture that feeling of warmth and security.

Doing the Same for My Child

This feeling of security is what I wish to create for my son too. A feeling of belonging, being accepted, loved and respected is something that creates that strong capsule of security in our kids’ minds. This feeling of being wanted is what makes them strive towards perfection, in order to please us, or to sustain that feeling of being loved and cherished forever.

Any pitfalls, by way of unacceptability or disrespect from our end, is what throws them off balance and they tend to deviate.

My mother always said that with freedom came responsibility. She extended freedom to me, without drawing any boundaries, sometimes even scaring me. Her excessive faith and freedom is what sometimes scared me and I often questioned myself with my own given freedom.

This fear she believed, created that sense of self-realization in me, the ability to assess myself. This fear of failing in her eyes, shunning the faith that she had put in me, was what helped me pull the reins, when I felt the need to (without having her telling me). I guess it was the fear of me being unaccepted or looking at something they loved and cherished, so defeated, is what spiraled that sense of responsibility in me.

And this feeling of acceptance and belonging got strengthened on such occasions, when I was made to feel special and accepted and loved, despite all flaws.

Although, we don’t need special days to cherish the companionship that we have, yet I wouldn’t deny that birthdays or special occasions are sure shot means of celebrating the bonds that are so special in our lives.

I always look forward to celebrate the birthdays of my loved ones by doing something special. It isn’t always about material things, but definitely the ways in which we make our loved ones feel on their special days that counts. The feeling of being needed and belonged is what makes their D-day, a special memory in many years to come!

As a mother, I would always love my child to remember our special equation through the happy feelings he had on his special days and on not-so special days.

The material things will eventually fade away, but the feelings are what will last in his heart and mind for eternity! He should be able to hold onto these fond memories, and use them as base, to create some more for himself and others in life ahead, even when we are not around.

After all, parenting is all about building memories and what better way than using special occasions like birthdays to create them!

A freelance creative writer and blogger for the past 7 years, Malvika Roy SIngh writes about subjects like travel, food, lifestyle, health, interior designing, real estate, digital entertainment, media and marketing, education etc. Her parenting blog helps her be a conscious parent (www.wipmom.com) When she is not writing, she can be found either running or playing with her 4 year old son enjoying time reading. She resides in Hyderabad and can be reached at mroysingh@gmail.com

5 Meaningful Hindi Movies to Watch This Summer

June 20, 2018

by Shalini Tyagi with 8 Comments About Us Contemporary Movies Voices

How do you entertain yourself? Do you read books? You might be a lover of music or a photographer. There are scores of things that people indulge in to unwind , but one form of entertainment that majority of the world would agree on, The Movies.

Cinema revolutionised the way we entertain ourselves, being available in most of the known languages on this planet.

I’m a huge fan of English language films, to the extent where i can watch some of the movies on a loop. All the same we Indians love our cinema to the point of quitting all reason and immersing ourselves in the insanely colorful world of Hindi cinema.

The Indian film industry boasts of cinema in many regional languages. Hindi film industry, popularly known as bollywood, is on of the largest centres of film production in the world.

You can imagine the number of movies it churns out annually.

These are statistics, but anyone who is even slightly familiar with Indian films will agree how we have a flair for the dramatic.

We have a song for even the unlikeliest of situations and it doesn’t take much for us to dance.

We clap on all the adrenaline highs, go overboard, root for our actors even in the most illogical scenarios. Most of the time we like to keep things simple but a little complication is what keeps things spiced up.

Despite all the drama our films also have the knack to acknowledge the truth, say it unencumbered, however unpleasant it might be. We have taken on social stigmas and ventured into the uncomfortable to confront our own social thread.

Many say cinema is a reflection of it’s times and the society. Over the years our movies have changed, some have become those instruments of change in the mindset of people.

There is a treasure trove from the world of old hindi cinema, but it might take an in-depth understanding of the Indian culture, without which most of the meaning and essence will be lost.

Though Indian cinema has many note worthy movies in regional languages, but me being a hindi speaker cannot do justice to films from all languages.

So to share with you all the joy of Hindi films on this multicultural platform, I have compiled a short list of 5 Hindi films, from the recent times.

Some of these are underrated, some very popular, but all of these 5 films speak of some thing meaningful albeit in a slight dramatic way.

NIL BATTEY SANTA

Dated: 2016
The name of the movie means “Zero divided by zero”. Despite the odd name this films talks about a very important topic- Education.

Set in the capital city, it tells you the story of a single parent ,Chanda, who struggles to give her teenage daughter, Apu, a better life. Coming from a lower middle class background she understands that the key to a better life for her daughter is through education.

Working at four menial jobs, including that of a domestic help to a lady doctor, she only dreams for her daughter. Struggling with Apu’s indifferent attitude for studies, she tries to find her some help.

Things take a dramatic turn when the daughter declares, she hopes to be nothing more than a household help.
Herself being a high school dropout, she takes the extreme step of enrolling in Apu’s class. Making an effort to finish her own studies and to impress on her the significance of education.

Despite it all being an uphill task, she overcomes her predicament and teaches her daughter the value of dreams.
A heart warming drama that speaks volumes in a subtle manner.
This movie tells you about ever persons right to dream and change their lives.

MARY KOM

Dated:2014

This film is a biographical sports film about the Indian female boxer, Mary Kom. The movie introduces you to a simple girl from the north-eastern state of Manipur. A girl who chances upon a pair of boxing gloves and dreams of becoming a boxer.

The narration takes us through the struggles of an aspiring female athlete in a male dominated sport. The world knows Mary Kom as the bronze medal winner at the 2012 Olympics, the trials and turbulences that she had to overcome are brought forth in the movie.

Finding love, success and achieving her dreams, her life comes a full circle after she gives birth to her twin sons and again sets to make a comeback.

The movie portrays her grit as an athlete and strength as a mother beautifully, when she competed in the AIBA Women’s world boxing championship in 2008,with one of her twins in surgery and coming out a winner.

For anyone who doubts a women’s strength, Mary Kom will say it all.

THE BLUE UMBRELLA

Dated:2005

An adaptation from the Ruskin Bond book , of the same name, I have included this one for it’s simplistic beautiful story.

This story is for the kids and adults alike.

Set in a small village in the hills of northern India, it is the tale of a little girl named Biniya. The girl happens to come about a Japanese umbrella and the plot unfolds from there.

It is a simple narration that tells you about greed, simplicity, forgiveness and acceptance. Even when the simplest of people can resort to immoral acts, a little girl teaches us that love and forgivness is what makes the world go round.

POSTER BOYS

Dated:2017

Before all you hindi speaking people question this choice hear me out.

Though it is one typical overboard, overdramatic hindi film but with very relevant and important social messages. This movie manages to raise a few topics that we as a nation need to deal with, like now.

Based on a real life incident where three men find their pictures, printed without consent, on a poster for a vasectomy campaign. Hence ensues a cycle of humiliation and denial of justice for these three men.

While the story talks about corruption at the heart of the system, it also deals with the significant issue of the girl child in India. The movie tackles the stigma attached to vasectomy for men, when population control is one the most pressing global issues.

RANG DE BASANTI

Dated:2006

The name means, Colour it Saffron or can be literally translated to “Paint the colours of spring”.

I saved this as the last on the list because there is so much i can say about this one. It is my personal view, this movie changed our perception of hindi cinema.

It brought about a revolution in the mindset of the youth.

The story revolves around a young British journalist who wants to make a documentary about Indian freedom fighters, based on handwritten accounts of her grandfather’s diary, who was a jailer in colonial India.

On travelling to India she comes across the “New India”. A generation diconnected with it’s past and unconcerned about the future. It takes a close hand to hand with corruption and a British journalist for these youngsters to realise they are equally responsible for their nation’s future.

This movie beautifully binds the past and present all the while questioning our choices for the future. After a long time we as a country re-learned to demand justice,stand up for it and take action.We acknowledged there is corruption rampant but now the onus lies with us to rectify the situation.

Cinema is an escape into the virtual, but what is being said through this medium reaches millions. People sit up and take notice, all the while getting entertained.

So, folks theses are a few Hindi movies to start with .Do let me know what you think of these.

Shalini is an Indian,currently living in Dubai. She is mother of two school going children and is a stay at home mom. She is an avid reader and has recently forayed into the world of writing. Apart from being a contributing writer to the book “ When you’re done expecting”, she hosts her own website tyagishalinid.com.

11 Easy Choices to Living a Healthy ‘Plastic-Free’ Life

June 18, 2018

by Minali Bajaj Syed with 10 Comments Contemporary Environment Voices

Living a healthy lifestyle goes way beyond clean eating and exercising. You may cut down on the carbs and increase the proteins, you may increase your greens, you may incorporate super foods into your diet, you may workout in the gym or do yoga BUT have you made any changes in your life to keep your body free of toxins and chemicals?

There was a time we would all worry about how safe our drinking water was. Today, after all the technology advancements, we can be assured that the water we are consuming is purified and filtered, and free of most germs and chemicals. But really how safe is the purified water in your or your kids’ water bottles?

If you look around and notice, you will see that most people carry PLASTIC water bottles. Be it to the gym, for a walk, to work or to school, plastic bottles is what you see everywhere. Our exposure to plastic has drastically increased in the past few decades.

Overuse of plastic is not limited to plastic bags only anymore. Disposable plates, spoons and cups, snack boxes, water bottles, food storage boxes, toiletries, makeup, toys and many other items made of plastic, have all become a part of our daily life.

Cumulative use and exposure to so much plastic can cause adverse effects on our health and lives. Let’s not forget, it is a huge threat to our environment and planet too!

Research indicates that almost all plastics may release chemicals if they are heated, scratched or overused. You may have seen that a few baby and kids products made of plastic come with a ‘BPA-free’ tag. BPA (bis-phenol) is a weak synthetic estrogen that can be found in most hard plastics.

BPA can be found in water bottles, sippy-cups, tin foods, baby formula can linings, cashier receipts, toys and more. Over exposure to this hormone-disrupting chemical can lead to anxiety, hyperactivity, depression, breast cancer and infertility. Unfortunately, BPA is present in almost all toys today and these toys are NOT ‘BPA-free’ unless mentioned. Apart from BPA, plastic may contain other harmful toxins and carcinogens too.

Being convenient and economical, it is almost impossible to avoid all plastic products. The least we can do is try to use it minimally and use other substitutes in place of plastic. A few small changes in our daily lives will go a long way in living a healthy and clean lifestyle.

1. Store water in glass bottles at home instead of plastic. (pretty bottles, win win!)
2. Replace all gym/school plastic water bottles with stainless steel bottles.
3. Avoid canned foods and try to use fresh foods if available.
4. Replace your plastic crockery/cutlery with glass or stainless steel. Your child does not need that cute Dora/Spiderman plastic plate and cup. Teach them young about the ill-effects of plastic on their health.
5. Store food and leftovers in glass containers. It is easier to re-heat it in the same glass container. PLEASE DO NOT cook or re-heat in plastic containers.
6. Try to use disposable paper plates and cups instead of plastic disposables.
7. Use ‘BPA-free’ baby bottles, sippy cups, toys and other baby products.
8. Please DO NOT boil your baby’s plastic bottles in hot water to sterilize them. You are only exposing them to more toxins by doing this.
9. Try to replace plastic feeding bottles with glass feeding bottles.
10. Avoid handling cashier receipts. You do not need to take that restaurant or grocery bill home. Please ensure your KIDS do not touch these receipts.
11. Try to introduce wooden blocks and toys to your children in place of the plastic toys.

The least we can do to protect our health and environment is to make these small lifestyle changes. Also, it is our responsibility to teach our children the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. If we start them young, this thought will become a habit, and they will grow up to become health conscious and responsible adults.
Wishing you all good health and happiness always!

References –
www.breastcancer.org

Liked this post? Share it with friends.

Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, She has had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. She thus, considers herself a global citizen. She is always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivism. On most days, she is a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom.

The Best Advice From Fathers Who Raised Strong Women

June 14, 2018

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 10 Comments Parenting Voices

That’s my father. He lived a hard life. Working hard every minute, at two jobs. A man of few words, he dolled out advice rarely but when he did it was profound and much of what I carried with me for the rest of my life. He is retired now but still stands by the values that make life worth living.

A content man, he is a friends’ friend, always there for people he cares for. A man of his word, he would never say anything that he didn’t mean. And if he said it, he would make it his mission to follow through. It is from whom, I get my sense of righteousness, spirituality and strive to make the world a better place with every action I choose to make.

During the Gulf war, his actions were the biggest inspiration to me to always stand for what’s right, no matter what the consequence. Rebuilding a life, from nothing with my mother by his side, both of them inspired me to never be fearful of what life might have in store for us. For we can always rebuild and grow stronger. Celebrate life in every form. Taking initiative to create memories that envelope the family in love they carry with them forever.

Aditi Wardhan Singh — Image copyright – Aditi W. Singh

His legacy is what makes me feel stronger with every struggle I come across. His words and actions are such a big part of me, the foundation of every choice I act upon. The core of my work in trying to change the world.

Which brought me to ask other women from around the world striving to make the world a better place, what advice their father gave them that helps their lives be better every single day.

Make sure to click on their names to see the incredible work each of these women is involved in.

Mine is —

Every single person has something good within them. To sustain & nurture any relationship, you have to focus on that and accept the rest as their personality.

If you aren’t 15 minutes early, you are late.

Jessi Joachimm
(Army Vet Father here in Ocala, Florida)

Always stand up for what you believe in, even if no one is watching.

Michele Tripple
Dallas Texas

(a). When you choose a man for you, make sure he cares for you more than he adores your physical appearance. And the one who does that will be the perfect Man for you. (b). It’s okay if you don’t save today’s earning but make sure you spend it gor worthy things.

Supriya Gujar Mehta
Mumbai

It’s always important to treat everyone the same,whether it be a millionaire or a homeless man, no one is better or less than you.

Shoma Arora
Long Island, NY

Always take a packet of tissues with you. Sounds silly but the older I get the more I see how invaluable that advice was!

Kate Mai-Lyn

Never be afraid to be yourself – there are plenty of other people out there, but there’s only one you.

Jennifer Duncan
Tulsa

‘Stay in His grip’ he always signed every card with that. A man after God’s own heart.

Adrienne Marshall Burner
Birmingham, Alabama

Nobody is perfect. What matters most is what you do after realizing that you made a mistake.

Peejay Sun
Phoebe, New York

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

Connie Deal

The value of silence. My father was a man who showed his feelings and convictions with action.

Ali Gail Sutherland
Jessiville, AR

Only a fit body can house a fit mind. Make your health wealthier than your wealth healthier

Rashmi Agarwal
India

You are not responsible for other people’s happiness.

Bonnie Landau

Honesty is the best policy, especially with yourself and the ones closest to you.

Anchal Narayal
Mumbai

Failing is good. When you’re learning to walk, you fall over and over and over again. You learn all the ways to fall before you learn how to walk. It’s by failing and learning that you grow.

Tiffany Elizabeth Barry
Atlanta, Georgia

Do mistakes as much as you can in early age so that your future has lot of stories to tell your kids.

Snehalata Jain
Nerul, Navi Mumbai

Don’t settle, always strive for the best and believe that you are as good as the most successful of people. (My Iranian father-his words to live by upon living in Canada as an immigrant and making it).

Fariba Dashtgard Soetan

My dad always taught us to try our best, no matter what the job was. Whether it was in school, or cleaning our toilets! I distinctly remember my brother saying he wanted to drive a garbage truck when he grew up so he could get cool things that people threw away :). And my dad said ‘then you have to try to be the best garbage truck driver there is!’

Becky Morales
Mexico

When you fall from a horse, get right back on!

Olga Mecking

I’ll second about doing our best. And being honest in our dealings with people and with ourselves.

Varya Sanina-Garmroud
Zuhai, China

It’s impossible to please everyone.

Kay Tarapolsi
Seattle, WA

When two people quarrel, both are at fault .

Rita Rosenback
Derby, UK

My dad can be very to the point. Best advice he gives is smoky is simply ‘relax, if you are a decent human being, things tend to work out in the long run.’

Kat Cliff
Hudson Valley, New York

My dad encouraged me to learn languages. He said not to be scared how silly you sounded, you would always make friends that way. I remember him comparing the Scouse (Liverpudlian) slang word for wife with the Spanish word.

Lisa Sadleir

Let them love you, else it’s not worth it

Anjana Malakar
Bhopal, India

You can be happy doing anything as a career as long as it satisfies these two requirements: solve problems every day and work with good people.

Lisa Ferland
Stockholm, Sweden

Andhra Cuisine – Spicy and flavorful

June 13, 2018

by Mahathi Ramya with 12 Comments Food Heritage India Uncategorized Voices

Food is an important part of any culture. The methods of preparation of food, preservation, and types of food eaten vary from culture to culture. As part of retaining our culture, I try to learn about different foods that were part of our culture and try to prepare them. I am from Andhra Pradesh, a state in Southern India. Andhra cuisine is famous for the spicy and flavorful dishes. Andhra is one of the major producers of Red chilies and Rice, thus our staple food is rice and spicy curries.

Twinkle Toes – Shanmathi

June 11, 2018

by Featured Guest with No Comment Kids Corner Voices

Twinkle Toes

Once upon a time in the night, there lived a beautiful little shining bright star named Twinkle Toes. She had a father named Sam and a mother named Cassy. When the time Twinkle Toes was born her mother & father loved her name. Twinkle Toes loved her name.

One day Twinkle Toe went to her school for the first time. Every one had a name tag. Everyone’s name fitted on the name tag except Twinkle Toes. Lots of people were making fun of her.

When Twinkle Toes went home, she cried a lot. She said, “Why is my name so long everyone is make lots of fun of my name.”

“Your name is perfect”, said the mother.

” Go to school again and lets see if they make fun again”, said father. Twinkle Toes went to school.

The next day they went to music class and in the music class. She asked the teacher her name. She said Chrysanthemum. It hardly fit on her name tag. It hardly even fit on her name tag. When everyone saw her name they never made fun of Twinkle Toes again.

Then Twinkle Toes loved her name again.

I am 8 years old. Live in Texas. Going to third grade. Interested in writing stories, singing and dancing. Love to play with friends and family. I wanna became teacher.

Pros & Cons of Parenting in a Joint Family

June 8, 2018

by Featured Guest with 6 Comments Heritage Parenting Voices

I grew up in a nuclear family set-up with my parents and my sister, as did most of my friends. Living in Mumbai, this was the only family set-up we knew. In modern India, especially in urban cities, joint families are as good as extinct. The only exposure I had to a joint family was the over-the-top portrayal in Hindi cinema – the rose tinted view of large families living in grandiose havelis, women perpetually dressed up in sarees and family jewels, men doing business together, children running about and playing together and everyone getting along splendidly, so much so that they would often break into song and dance together.

Getting married into a joint family, I was faced with the reality of living in this set-up, that as wonderful it is to have a large family, there are innate complexities involved as well. It requires adjustment and compromise to maintain a fond relationship with every member of the family.

As I soon as I had adjusted to living with my husband’s family, it was time for me to embrace motherhood. And raising a child in a joint family, especially in modern India, comes with it own pros and cons.

What I love about raising my child in a joint family:

Support System

They say it takes a village to raise a child. The biggest advantage has been having a strong support system around, both in terms of having ready and eager babysitters, as well as getting emotional support when the going gets tough. When my son got high fever in the middle of the night, when the house help doesn’t turn up on the day I have to rush for an important meeting, I know I have trustworthy support to reply on.

Bond with Relatives

It is heartening to see my son forge close ties with his grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles. He has a unique special relationship with each of them. He is probably closer to his grandparents than I was to mine and this is a bond that I am sure he will cherish for life.

Impact on Social Intelligence

Having so many family members around of all ages has had a positive impact on my child’s social skills. Very early on he learnt the importance of sharing and respect for elders. He has always been social and is not uncomfortable in new surroundings or among large gatherings

Cousins are First Friends

They say cousins are our first playmates and friends for life. Though my son is still the first of the children in his generation, I look forward to him having many cousins around to play with.

Keep the Traditions and Languages Alive

Having elders around has been an enriching experience for my son. He is exposed to and values age-old traditions, something I would not have been able to impart to him. More importantly, I am happy that he is picking up our mother-tongue Sindhi which is sadly a dying language and one I am not speak myself.

However there is always a flip side to every coin.

Balance of Different Schools of Thought and Parenting Ideologies

Having multiple people means multiple ideologies and parenting styles. Sometimes our way of thinking is seen as too modern. Few religious customs we chose not to follow caused tension in the family. It is always a fine balance maintaining relations without hurting someone’s sentiments and yet being able to raise our child the way we want to.

Losing Control Over Discipline

We all know how grandparents pamper their grandchildren. It is beautiful to see my son getting so much love and affection, yet it becomes difficult when I need to lay down the rules. When he is not getting another cookie from me, he knows his tears will work with his grandparents.

I even had to relax my rules on no screen time before 2 years because I could not expect my in-laws to switch off the TV every time my son was around. So how do I deal with this loss of control? Sometimes I just accept that this is going to happen and the pampering it is part of their special bond. But at times my husband and I need to stand our ground, especially when health is concerned. At such times, it is best to openly communicate our concerns and try to get everyone on the same page.

It is all about choosing which battles are worth fighting over and which ones are best to let go.

Mahak Wadhwani is the author of “Diary of a Baby – Candid confessions of a baby from 0 to 2 years” and blogger at Baby & Beyond. An Engineer and MBA, Mahak spent 8 years working in business and technology consulting, before jumping off the corporate ladder and landing headfirst into a life of pooplosions, 3 a.m. feeds, teething and toddler tantrums – a life so exciting that she realized she just had to share her journey with the world. She writes about her parenting escapades, with a focus on gentle and mindful parenting techniques, mother and baby products, age-appropriate toys, books & activities and health & wellness.

You can connect with her at:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/babyandbeyondin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/babyandbeyondin/

Girgian – The Middle Eastern ‘Trick or Treat’

June 6, 2018

by Minali Bajaj Syed with 12 Comments festivals Heritage Voices

One huge PARTY!

Girgian is a traditional 3-day Middle-Eastern festival, which is celebrated on the 13th, 14th and 15th night of Ramadan, depending on the day it is a full moon. This day marks the end of half-Ramadan and is celebrated to reward children for fasting and to encourage them to fast every Ramadan.

Girgian is known by different names in different parts of the Middle-Eastern world. In Kuwait and Saudi Arabia it is known as ‘Girgian’ or ‘Gergeaan’, as ‘Garangao’ in Qatar, ‘Gargaaon’ in Bahrain, ‘Garangasho’ in Oman, ‘Mageena Karkiaan’ in Iraq and ‘Hag Allah’ in UAE.

Children sing traditional songs and go door to door collecting candies. Special Girgian events take place at the malls, parks and other areas of kids’ attraction. Private Girgian parties are organized and kids are treated to a lot of fun, gifts and candies. This festival has no origin in Islam and has no religious significance at all. It is purely a cultural tradition. The similarity of Girgian to Halloween ends at the candies and there is absolutely no room for horror.

Tracing back its ORIGIN…

The exact origin of Girgian is unknown but some historians suggest that this tradition dates back to the time when Prophet Mohammad’s (PBUH) grandson, Hasan Ibn Ali was born. To celebrate the birth of her new born, the Prophet’s daughter Fatima distributed colored sugar cubes to people, on the 15th of Ramadan. The kids of Medina then gathered around the Prophet’s house to congratulate them by singing “Qarrat Al Ain, Qarrat Al Ain” which translates to “Congratulations, Congratulations.”

Another theory suggests that Girgian is derived from the Arabic word ‘Qarqa’ah’, which is the sound of tin buckets filled with sweets clicking together. Candies surely seemed to be a kids’ favorite even back then!

Time to DRESS up!

Before the onset of Ramadan, the markets in the Gulf countries get filled with traditional Girgian dresses. The beautiful girly dresses known as ‘Daraa’ come in beautiful bright colors and have pretty borders, laces, trinkets and pompoms. Most of these dresses are made locally with colorful and kitsch fabrics sourced from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. Each dress comes with a matching sling bag, which is used to collect the candies in. Boys usually wear a long white or beige robe known as the ‘Dishdasha’ and pair it with some fancy traditional waist coats and head gears. Watching these cute, dolled-up kids stroll all around is surely a delightful sight.

It’s CANDY time!

Chocolates, wafers, cookies, soft chewy candies, hard candies, marshmallows, lollipops, chewing gum, sugar coated nuts…did I miss anything? Markets and grocery stores all around the country are filled with these candies (in BULK!) Every store is competing with each other by discounting candies by the dozen. Girgian themed individual boxes, bags and baskets filled with candies are a huge hit with most kids. Also, they are easier to distribute or give away. Most corporates have also started giving away these candy favors to their employees, to mark the Girgian festival. Candies seem to become an adult-favorite too at this time of the year.

Lessons to learn…

We can surely learn a few life lessons from this wonderful Middle-Eastern tradition.
• It is always a good idea to reward children for their efforts. This can go a long way in motivating them do better.
• Celebrating small achievements will encourage us to look forward to bigger achievements.
• Sharing our joys (and CANDIES) with others will make us happier.

Making celebrations fun and memorable is a good way of inculcating the traditional values into our children. They will carry it on forward and make it a part of their life.