Personality clashes can cause problems in relationships. This is especially true if you have an extroverted teen in a family of introverts. Extroverted teens can be seen as being needy or bothersome to introverted family members. Therefore, it is a good idea for the introverted family members to have a better understanding of the teenage child in order to let him thrive in his daily activities.
Take a family who throws their teenager a surprise party. They invited everyone in their dance class, grade, and even their cousins. They spend a lot of money and time planning this great party filled with food, music, and even a DJ. To their surprise their daughter spends half the time in her room crying. She tells her family she would have rather they saved their money and got her a Switch instead. The parents think she’s spoiled or ungrateful.
It’s important to note that the parents were wanting to do something extra special in this scenario for their child. They can’t understand why she wouldn’t think this was the best gift they could give her. This is because they are thinking about what they would have wanted to receive. To a shy or introverted shy, this can seem more like a nightmare of social anxiety than a time to let their hair down to celebrate. This is why even within your children it’s important to gauge their own personalities and yours. The parents and child are not doing anything wrong. However, the actions get lost in translation because of their different personalities.
Know Their Personality
While most people are classified as extroverted and introverted, there are actually 16 distinct different personality types. These personality types can be identified when the person takes an MBTI test or Myer Briggs Type Indicator. This self-report questionnaire will determine the specific personality of your teenage child. This will allow you to know how you can best personalize your parenting to ways that are better understood by extroverted teens. This can help them feel loved and understood, which will lead to better relationships.
People are able to thrive when they are allowed to be themselves. That’s why it is important for your teenage child to feel comfortable in his own shoes. As long as a teenage child is not hurting himself nor hurting others, they should be given room to explore their personality. This will allow them to have a happier upbringing and position themselves to be better able to interact with others as an adult.
Many times families find themselves talking at each other rather than talking to each other. It is a good idea for family members to have a “no pressure” conversation with their teenage child. This will give you a better idea as to what motivates the child and what he really thinks. If the extroverted child is dressing in wild clothes, this may not be an act of rebellion but an emulation of the child’s favorite Youtuber or musical act. Knowing why your teenage child acts in a certain way will create a better sense of understanding with the entire family.
Every once in a while, the family should engage in an activity with all members involved. Sometimes this will require family members to step out of their “comfort zone.” However, exploring different experiences can help create a better sense of understanding with each personality type within the family.
By understanding the exact personality of a child and their motivations, a family can be in a better position to raise happy extroverted teens.