How to Help Special Needs Children Cope With Divorce and Separation

Helping Special Needs Children Cope With Separated Parents

Divorce can be hard on children. It can be even harder, though, on those children who have special needs. Divorce and separation are a huge interruption to the way they’ve lived their lives and they may not have the tools to cope on their own. Below are just a few ways that you might be able to help your child out.

Try to Stick to Routines

Most children with special needs thrive on routines. Even if you cannot keep your normal routine because of a change in your housing situation, striving for some degree of consistency is a must. Try to keep bedtimes, meal rituals, and daily activities going in a way that’s similar to what happened before. While nothing’s quite the same as it was, you can provide your child with some sense of normalcy.

Reduce the Emotional Stress

Reducing the emotional stress around your child is usually a good idea. For most, this means working with a good legal separation attorney and keeping all of the legal interactions between spouses solely in the legal realm. While you certainly can’t expect to totally shield your child from everything that’s going on, you can take steps to ensure that he or she isn’t exposed to unnecessary emotional stress.

Avoid Overstimulation

Don’t go too far in trying to make your child comfortable during the divorce. Suddenly introducing new things can actually have severe effects, so try to keep things as normal as possible. Don’t try to ‘fix’ your child’s emotions with grand gestures or with overly elaborate treats—this will only further confuse your child and make the situation more difficult.

Seek Out Help

Finally, it might be reasonable to seek out professional help in this situation. Finding a counselor who works with special needs children can be useful, especially if he or she also has a background in family therapy. This professional can help to give you individualized guidance that will help your child to more easily adapt to the new situation.

While you cannot make a divorce or separation easy on your child, you can take steps to minimize how uncomfortable he or she will be. You will still have to deal with changes and emotional issues, but you can blunt their impact to some degree. In time, you’ll be able to find a new normal that will let your family move on and find a measure of peace as you adapt.


How Extroverted Teens Flourish in a Family of Introverts

Personality clashes can cause problems in relationships. This is especially true if you have an extroverted teen in a family of introverts. Extroverted teens can be seen as being needy or bothersome to introverted family members. Therefore, it is a good idea for the introverted family members to have a better understanding of the teenage child in order to let him thrive in his daily activities.

Avoiding Conflict

Take a family who throws their teenager a surprise party. They invited everyone in their dance class, grade, and even their cousins. They spend a lot of money and time planning this great party filled with food, music, and even a DJ. To their surprise their daughter spends half the time in her room crying. She tells her family she would have rather they saved their money and got her a Switch instead. The parents think she’s spoiled or ungrateful.

It’s important to note that the parents were wanting to do something extra special in this scenario for their child. They can’t understand why she wouldn’t think this was the best gift they could give her. This is because they are thinking about what they would have wanted to receive. To a shy or introverted shy, this can seem more like a nightmare of social anxiety than a time to let their hair down to celebrate. This is why even within your children it’s important to gauge their own personalities and yours. The parents and child are not doing anything wrong. However, the actions get lost in translation because of their different personalities.

Know Their Personality

While most people are classified as extroverted and introverted, there are actually 16 distinct different personality types. These personality types can be identified when the person takes an MBTI test or Myer Briggs Type Indicator. This self-report questionnaire will determine the specific personality of your teenage child. This will allow you to know how you can best personalize your parenting to ways that are better understood by extroverted teens. This can help them feel loved and understood, which will lead to better relationships.


People are able to thrive when they are allowed to be themselves. That’s why it is important for your teenage child to feel comfortable in his own shoes. As long as a teenage child is not hurting himself nor hurting others, they should be given room to explore their personality. This will allow them to have a happier upbringing and position themselves to be better able to interact with others as an adult.


Many times families find themselves talking at each other rather than talking to each other. It is a good idea for family members to have a “no pressure” conversation with their teenage child. This will give you a better idea as to what motivates the child and what he really thinks. If the extroverted child is dressing in wild clothes, this may not be an act of rebellion but an emulation of the child’s favorite Youtuber or musical act. Knowing why your teenage child acts in a certain way will create a better sense of understanding with the entire family.

Shared Experiences

Every once in a while, the family should engage in an activity with all members involved. Sometimes this will require family members to step out of their “comfort zone.” However, exploring different experiences can help create a better sense of understanding with each personality type within the family.

By understanding the exact personality of a child and their motivations, a family can be in a better position to raise happy extroverted teens.

Kara Masterson is a freelance writer from Utah. She enjoys Tennis and spending time with her family.

Canva - Group of People Sitting on Stairs

What Teenagers Want Every Parent to Know

As a teenager myself, I have some prime expectations from my parents, which I am sure are common to most of the teens today.

Successfully raising a ‘teenager‘ is no simple task. It requires a lot of patience, time and attention. I often refer teenagers as “Whiskey in a cup” because of how complex yet manageable they are. Every parent aims at raising their children into happy adults, who are capable of having the best that life offers them.

Here I have listed for you some of the things that teenagers want every parent to know.

Give us your Love, not your thoughts

Teenagers are full of spirit, they possess their own dreams and yearn for a nourishing environment that helps them grow. Trust their capabilities and do not impose your incomplete dreams on them. All we want, is to grow individually and become the person we are meant to be. We want our parents to stand strong, while we shoot through towards our future.

Hear us out

We have so much to talk about, right from our first crush to our stupid lengthy assignments or about the fights we’ve had or the betrayal stories. Sometimes we need no advice nor any guidance but all we need is a listening ear. We want you to become our ‘go to’ person.

Express love, Appreciate us often

We realize your immense love for us but a gesture from your side really makes our day bright. Having love for us and not showing it, is as good as wrapping a present and not giving it. Sometimes we can plan a day together to do our favourite things or maybe you could write me a letter; we just want things beyond normal conversations on the dining table.

Try not to criticize our actions

We know the importance of an elder correcting us when we go wrong, but if it isn’t done in the right way it may just lower our spirit. Do not correct us in front of our extended family or peers, we feel insulted and it negatively impacts our relationship. Also, do not criticise us too often, we expect your encouragement in all our endeavours.

Answer our questions

No matter how silly, inappropriate, stupid or serious it may sound, please ensure that you have cleared the doubt that arose in our bustling mind. It avoids our dependence on an improper source to find the answers we are looking for.

Keep a track of our mental health

Unfortunately, a lot of teens suffer from anxiety, depression and other mental disorders. As teenagers, we want every parent to know that merely praying for our mental health isn’t sufficient, empathize with us. We require you to keep a track of our mental health by communicating with us everyday, this helps us navigate our negative emotions and find better solutions.

We don’t need a superman to save us from difficulties, we want to face them. So we aspire to be strong enough to stand for or against whatever and whenever, alone or together.

Mansi Lisha Pinto, a 18 year old who is currently pursuing a career as a Chartered Accountant. Her passion for writing started during her school days and developed thereon, from winning small competitions in School to Writing plays for the College. You may read her content on Instagram @she_writes_18 or contact her directly at

5 Lessons From A Mom with a Kid out of the Country

A mom’s job is unpredictable, and sometimes, you are forced to parent from afar if your kid is outside the country. The following are five parenting lessons for a mom in your situation.

1. Communicate Purposefully

Communication becomes much more important in this situation. It’s easy to forget carving out some time to communicate with your beloved child, but you have to. Create that expectation so that your kid does the same for you. When you are apart, predictable patterns of communication helps you feel close and establish a new sense of normalcy.

You have a lot of ways to communicate with each other, like through the phone, video calls, or through regular texts. On top of that, you also try to make it a point to send each other physical gifts. There’s something special about receiving something in the mail from your kid, and your kid’s going to love getting stuff from you.

2. Be Open-Minded

One thing you might not see coming is your kid’s mindset changing. Travel does that to a person because you get exposed to all sorts of perspectives and cultures. A lot of parents overlook how attached they are to some things they’ve grown up with and get a strong reminder when their kid says something that challenges their worldview.

You are going to have to set that aside. Allow your kid to grow and to become the person he or she was meant to be. Allow yourself to see what your child is seeing. If you don’t quite understand it, then go ahead and ask because it doesn’t hurt to learn from your kid.

3. Take an Interest

As a parent, you should take an active interest in the things your kid is doing abroad. If your child tells you about something peculiar or something he or she finds interesting, be sure to follow up. Do some research and find out more about it. Figure out what was interesting about what your kid mentioned.

If you show your kid you appreciate the conversations you two have, then your child will appreciate it. This might feel like homework, but this is an important step. You don’t want to feel disconnected simply because you can’t keep up with him or her. You do not need to become an expert, just have some working knowledge.

4. Learn to Trust

Your son or daughter is not going to be with you, and you won’t hear from your child some time. When you have to parent from afar, this raises a lot of red flags, and you’re probably going to feel a little uneasy. This feeling gets quite powerful, especially if your kid misses a call, text, or video call with you.

Don’t give in to that feeling. Do your best to trust that your kid is making the right decisions. Try not to interrogate your child, and trust that you raised a kid who is going to do right by you and by him or herself. Your kid is going to explain things if he or she needs to, if not, just relax and be present in the moment.

5. Special Welcome

Your kid is going to return at some point, and you have to make sure the return is a special one. Maybe your kid is in college but gets time off, or maybe your kid is in the marines and he or she has been given a chance to go back home. You need to put your feelings aside as a college mom or a marine mom, and make sure your kid’s return is special.

Ask your kid what kind of visit he or she wants, and try to give that to your child. As a mother, especially one that hasn’t seen her kid in a long time, it is hard to let your kid take the wheel, but you have to. There’s a lot that your child wants to do, but you are definitely in his or her plans, so don’t pressure your child too much.

These are some important lessons moms need to keep in mind when they have to parent from afar. This might be a little strange, but your kid’s life has taken him or her to new worlds, all thanks to you.

Article by Becca J. Meyers


The Responsibility Brown Parents Have Towards Their Children

We as a community do not talk to our children about equality and racism, enough! The hard stuff needs to be discussed, even if it is uncomfortable. As brown parents, we have a responsibility towards our children.

A man is murdered ruthlessly on the road.
Another is fake complained upon …
And yet other people are arguing about their RIGHT to BEING FREE when the world is quite literally dying around them.

THIS is not the AMERICA or WORLD I want my children to grow up in! If you are not affected by this, then I’m sorry to say you are PART of the problem.

Do you not see the depth of privilege WE are surrounded by?

You know, growing up I was surrounded by religion-ism (thinking one religion is better than another), discrimination by skin color (because of course fair means beautiful), money-ism (because money means status and showing off your money is VITAL).

And I was blind to it all!

Why? Because of my parents. For they NEVER talked about it. And now when I think about it, they must have thought “Eh! This is just the world we live in.”

The pros of it. I NEVER walked into a room I didn’t automatically think I was equal to everyone. The con, with time, I assumed people KNEW BETTER.

They DON’T!

As I grew up, I saw brown people quite naturally always being subservient to either race or money or someone being fairer.

As a parent, I tell my kids, you should not say bad words. You should not play guns with friends (shaping your hand like one). You should not do this and that.

When my son says, “his friends do it.” I say, “Well, it is different for them. We cannot do the same. “

THIS freedom that THEY have and WE do not.Why? Because people have gone around shooting kids/people willy nilly and now WE need to be careful.

WHEN it comes to girls being molested, we DO NOT TALK to our boys. WE tell our girls to be careful, wear clothes appropriately, do this and that.

AND the ENLIGHTENED ones among us, say, “Hey! The problem is BOYS. Talk to the boys.”

The point is BOTH need to be talked to. But not as you may think.

Girls needs to be told about their RIGHT to stand up for themselves and given the freedom to be who they are and BOYS need to be TAUGHT to respect them.

In the same way, we need teaching our COLORED children about their RIGHT to EQUALITY and children who are NOT simply about the RESPECT they need to show every single day.


Not realizing how much you are discriminated against, in this country – you continue to think – “Brown is the lesser black”, not realizing you are a person of color and no matter how hard you try; you and your children will always have to try harder.

You also use your own racism selectively. Crying wolf when you are being discriminated against but being quiet when you see a fellow black being discriminated against.

We need not have ANY children walking around feeling less than for whatever reason. Be it skin color, money, race or religion.

As brown parents, we feel the responsibility. I have always talked to my kids. I wrote two books about raising them EQUAL. I SPEAK UP!

HAVE you made the choice to RAISE your children AWARE? OR are you still hiding under the ROCK of “This does not affect me?”

Trust me, all your discrimination, even the slightest seeps through to your child.

Things you can do ?

* Read historical events and understand them with your child.
* Talk openly about life choices, worth of each person, the privilege you have.
* Acknowledge all people around you.
* Amplify voices of those that are talking about these things. Share this.
* Read books about skin color, different cultures, religions, own voices, brown parents, raising multicultural children. MAKE the EFFORT to DIVERSIFY your library.
* Speak UP! Do the right thing when needed.

I have never thought about our leadership. Today, for the first time I have found myself wondering am I safe in a world that is being protected and governed by people, none of whom understand the community.

Let’s raise kids who aspire to govern and protect. Children who while rooted in their identity are strong in will and empathetic to all.

Let’s just DO BETTER in understanding RACE and the conversation around it. The world cannot STAY like this.

For not only am I looking at you, but your child AND the CHILDREN AROUND YOU are looking at you as well.


Tricking Myself into Listening to My Own Needs

I’m a parent. That sounds like such a simple statement. And yet there is so much of complexity in that tiny sentence. As I play the role of a parent, it also includes being a teacher, a friend, a hard task master, a time-keeper, a chauffeur, a cook, a tear-wiper. To make a long story short, the above list is a work in progress. Before I breath my last breath, I’m aware that a lot more will be added to this list. And how do I know that? I look at the life of my parent and the ever-growing list that keeps her occupied.

It is obvious that a parenting job never ever gets finished. In between all the different activities that keeps my children and me so busy, it seems like an impossible task to find time to do anything for myself. Let me rephrase that comment.Sometimes, I just feel too lazy to do things for myself. When I start thinking about just going out for a walk, a longer list of excuses are ready to attack me. I still have to finish cooking the dinner. I completely forgot to do the laundry. The dishes are not going to jump themselves out of the dishwasher. In other words, I’m willing to spend the next couple of hours going from one task to another, rather then spend some thirty minutes doing something that I love to do.

In my mind,  everything else is more important. And everyone else’s needs will be more important than mine. And it happens so naturally that you don’t even realise when you made that decision. It is not like anybody else is stopping you from doing what you love. Most of the times, we are our worst enemies.

Like, a couple of months ago, I had an opportunity to take part in a group singing event, something that was very close to my heart. The catch was that I had to get up early on a Saturday morning for some practice  sessions. It took a great deal of convincing on my part to even decide if I should attend my first practice session.

My mind came up with its usual laundry list of reasons why I couldn’t possibly get up for a 7:00a.m. practice. My favorite one was, ” Saturday is the only day you get to sleep extra in the morning!” It is kind of tricky when your mind can pull off smart excuses like that. I couldn’t come up with any sensible counter-argument. Who can argue with sleep?

So, I decided to trick my mind by claiming that it will just be one practice session.  Of course, the night before every session was the same ping pong game of more- sleep-vs-one-more-session that my mind and I played with each other. Before we knew it, we tackled one session which turned into two that lead to four more practice sessions.

Life is a sum of these small victories. We may not be able to make time for ourselves every single day. But the time we manage to take out for reading that latest book or pursuing the hobby that we wanted to, a long time ago, can prove to be quite refreshing. Taking that first step is always the hardest, but the end result is so worth it.

In my case, I was able to attend to my needs with a greater degree of enthusiasm than I have ever shown in my life.