Featured Guest, Author at Raising World Children

The Day My Son Realized We Are an Interracial Family

I am American and about as pale white at they come. My husband is from the Caribbean and also lived in South America and has the perfect year around tan. When my son was born, he came out a perfect mix of the two of us but with my skin color. Given that we are an interracial couple, I assumed my son would easily accept other people and cultures. I found out a few months ago that I was wrong to assume that. I honestly never thought that I would have to explain why daddy was different.

Strange Behavior

A few months ago, my son, Logan, started acting very strangely towards Shadrach (his daddy). Logan wanted nothing to do with Daddy. He would push him away, run away from him, or did not want to play with him. The strange behavior started all of the sudden.

One night as I was putting Logan to bed, I asked him why he did not want to be around daddy and was treating him so badly. He told me that he did not like the color of daddy’s skin because it was different from his and mine. His answer floored me and caught me completely off guard.

Immediately my heart hurt for Shadrach. I was not expecting an answer like this. I never stopped and thought about the fact that I needed to teach my child about the differences in people and how that makes them each unique, especially when it came to his family. I just assumed that because this was his daddy and it was all he had ever known, that he would just love and accept him.

How We Taught the Differences Between People

I finished putting Logan to bed that night, after his confession about not liking his daddy’s skin color. My heart was heavy and I just kind of sat there and wondered what to do next.

The first thing I did, the very next day, was to start talking to Logan about what was different and what was the same between people. For example, I would ask him what was different about me. I would point out that I am a girl and he is a boy. That makes us different. Then, I would point out that he and daddy are both boys, which gives them something in common.

This little game continued when we were out in public. Quietly I would ask Logan what was different about people and then ask him to tell me if he could find something in common with them. Quickly Logan caught on and started pointing out people that looked like Shadrach and would exclaim, a little too loudly, “That man has the same color skin as my daddy!”

I was so glad to realize that he understood each person is made different and unique. The thing I wanted him to understand was just because someone looks or acts differently; it does not mean that is a bad thing. Also, my goal is to help him understand that we can always find something in common with another person.

This whole situation with Logan has taught me that as parents we do need to take the time to sit down and teach our children that people are made in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that is a good thing! Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone has a unique feature about them that sets them apart, and that is something to be celebrated.” username=”contactrwc”]

Each person reacts differently when they realize people are not quite like them. Logan acted scared and mad about it because it was something he did not understand. Some children are just curious and stare. Others may ask many questions about it. There is no wrong way, but as parents, we can pick up on these cues and start teaching them that those things that stand out are what makes those people unique.

Imagine how different our world could be if we all took the time to teach our children about different nationalities and cultures. The fear of someone different would go away because that fear comes from the lack of knowledge. While I am not done teaching Logan about all of this, I know that he is starting to understand and I see him learning to love people just as they are.

Can I challenge you as parents? Let children ask questions about people but make sure to explain things. Use it as an opportunity to teach about other cultures. If you do not know about certain cultures, be honest when your child asks. Then take the time to sit down and learn about it together.

Raising “world children” does not mean you have to travel around the world.

To me it means you sit down as a family and learn about different cultures, right in your home. Thanks to the internet, Pinterest, libraries, and television, there are plenty of opportunities to learn and teach your children about all the different cultures that make up our world.

I am thankful that we are such a diverse little family and it has opened up the doors to talk about different cultures and teach how to love each and every person, no matter who they are or where they are from.

Laura Ramnath is the voice behind her Family and Lifestyle blog The Rambling Ramnaths. She has held positions in banking and worked for a children’s clothing designer, but currently, enjoys the crazy role of being wife to Shadrach and stay-at-home mom to their 4-year-old son Logan. He keeps life interesting as there is never a dull moment with him! Laura has a passion for life and enjoys family travels and adventures, hiking, going to the beach and binge watching Netflix. She is also a strong believer in CoffeeFirst!

Changing The Misnomer of Indian Feminism

A few years ago I was returning home with a friend from a party at 9:30 pm. I was wearing a simple black dress which went till my knees, high heels and carrying a blingy purse. My friend was getting late so she dropped me at an intersection about a km away from my place.

The distance was not much really, but things had started closing down for the night. I must have reached a few meters ahead when 3 men on a bike started following me. I panicked and crossed the road thinking that they will continue on their way. But they turned around and came the other way.

I frantically called my fiancé to come and pick me up. He asked me to go inside a supermarket which was thankfully open. I thank my lucky stars everyday that nothing untoward happened to me. Needless to say, I got a huge dressing down from my fiancé for being so irresponsible! In retrospect, I was wearing something that was completely out of place in an area which was surrounded by slums, which is certainly not a good idea.

Conservative Thinking

In India, conservative thinkers have many “rules” which define the behavior of a “good woman”. The most frustrating among them is blaming the girl for being eve teased or even raped because she’s wearing inappropriate clothes or standing the wrong way or luring men etc.

On top of this there are some fanatics who makes statements to the media like “It was bound to happen, women wear nudity fashion. They were wearing short dresses.” or “They tried to copy the Westerners, not only in their mindset but even in their dressing. So there was some disturbance, some girls are harassed, these kinds of things do happen.” Like it’s no big deal but needless, it is our fault! What they do not understand is that eve teasing happens no matter what we wear, salwar suits, sarees or western clothes.

This has led to a huge hue and cry about women protesting that they have a right to wear what they want in public and should not be shamed because of it. Young girls, the “feminist advocates”, in turn at times protest this thinking by wearing clothes inappropriate for the time and place, just to prove a point.

A Real Look at the Misnomer of Feminism

While I am a feminist myself, there is a very fine line here which is often missed by many. Yes, one should have the right to dress the way they want. Wearing western clothes doesn’t mean that you are a woman with loose morals trying to get a man’s attention. You are certainly not giving anyone the green signal to your body.

But there is also something called as appropriate dressing which is defined by the environment you are going to be in.

When I was in the night club I would have been considered conservatively yet elegantly dressed but on the lonely streets at 9.30 pm in the night I probably looked like an escort to those men on the bike in that location. Maybe, if i was even wearing a sweater or shawl I might have been overlooked, but on that night I was probably sticking out like a red beacon.

When the time comes for me to educate my daughter about these situations I will tell her is that you are allowed to wear whatever you want. I don’t care about the “aunties” who sit and judge the length of your dress but to always always be aware of the surroundings you are going to be in before deciding on your outfit.

Feminism has become the most fashionable word in the country today. Every time any issue pops up, out comes the “F” word. I believe that women are grossly misusing this word to get things they at times don’t deserve or something that is impractical. This is because most of these women don’t really understand what it means or stands for. [bctt tweet=”“Misguided feminism” is the root cause of confusion within women on how to respond to issues.” username=”contactrwc”]

Further Misconstrued in the Household

Another misconstruction of feminist ideals made is when it comes to doing the household chores. Women, like men have demanding careers these days and hence expect that the men of the house also contribute in the daily tasks at home.

This is quite reasonable. But in most Indian households, the mothers-in-law will judge their daughters-in-law for making their “Shona Beta” (Darling Son) do housework. The feeling is that their sons are being treated like a servant.

They do not understand that the poor girl deserves some time off too. This rigid thought process in turn causes the women to rebel. They take it to the other extreme by demanding that it is the men who should do everything around the house. They lounge around thereby throwing the concept of “equality” down the drain.

I want to teach my baby that equality comes when both the man and the woman change their perspective. They need to understand and respect the fact that they are both equally busy in their respective jobs. With mutual understanding they can share the house work respectfully. There should be no rigidity that a particular task belongs to a single person only.

So, What is Feminism ?

Fighting for equality when it comes to respect, voicing your opinion, demanding equal pay, is what feminism is about.

It is about making your own choices.
It is about understanding your inner strength.
It is about grace.
It is about acceptance that women are as capable as men are with actions.
It is also understanding that men and women cannot be equals in many ways.

Men and women and each individual has their own purpose and strength. If that is how God wanted everyone to be equal, he/she would have created a world full of only men or only women or vice versa. This is the lesson would like to teach my daughter and every young woman out there.

Do not be afraid of the misogynists that surround you. They are but a handful. The world is changing, and our country is changing too. There are male members of the society who proudly call themselves feminists (your father included).

Be a feminist, do not settle for anything less than what you deserve. Do not abuse this privilege and everything that comes with it. Being a woman is not a curse as many believe it to be, it is a blessing. Be proud of who you are and believe that you can achieve whatever you want to.

Shuchita Kumar is a new mom. She is trying to learn the ropes of motherhood with the help of knowledge passed on by the elders combined with modern thinking. Currently, residing in Bangalore, India. She spent her early childhood years in the heart of India that is Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh. She then lived in Goa (heaven!) and Pune. A software engineer by profession, she loves dancing, bird watching and just spending time with her husband visiting various jungles. She also enjoys pampering her friends and families with delicious food and pastries

Transgenders in India – Deserve Respect So Long Denied

Transgenders! Around the world, the word itself still raises eyebrows. Various derogatory remarks even get passed about them. In recent times in India, at least, the acceptance towards them is slow but not enough.

For the past three decades, that I had witnessed, their inbuilt complex had stopped them from moving ahead in any direction. In India, their presence at the red light areas for begging or their dance during any family function (which is considered auspicious), just for the sake of money, is a common scenario. The fact that they traditionally have often harassed people to give them money has not lent to their credibility. One should wonder though why begging for money is their main resort to earn.

Only a few among them are seen at schools or any other institute of “repute” for getting education or any relevant information.

Sometimes, even their basic needs-using the loo or getting adequate education or even love, are not met. Many have faced violence and rejection from their families and religious communities. The litigation and people’s indifferent attitude has also lead to major social adjustment problems for them.

Why can’t we (the so called educated people) educate the transgenders along with other children, instead of making faces? Let them use the washrooms freely, instead of considering them with suspicion ?

It is ironical that their blessings / curse are considered superstitiously of great power but we dread to give them a standing in society.

We can certainly change that by passing on the lineage of respecting them to our children? We can provide job opportunities without any bias to the deserving candidate, instead of fearing about our reputation?

Yes, everything can be done. But when this ‘can’ will change into ‘should’, only time will tell.

The live example of the success of their community is Laxmi, a transgender who when provided with few opportunities and when she had overcome her own complex, had made heads turned wherever she entered.

She is a transgender rights activist, Hindi film actress, and a trained Bharatnatyam dancer in Mumbai, India. She is also the first transgender to represent Asia Pacific in UN in 2008.

[bctt tweet=”More transgenders need to take a stand like Laxmi and feel free to stand for their rights.” username=”contactrwc”]

A great example of – Where there is a will there is a way!

But for the other members of this community, this will needs to be generated and encouraged. It will definitely give a boost not only to their morale but also to the working potential of any country leading to more success and more respect. What do you think we could do to integrate transgenders into our society ?

Ruchika Rastogi, an Indian who was born and brought up in Delhi. She loves to explore the unexplored. A mother of two lovely kids, she works as a teacher and her passion for writing has helped her survive during her hard times. Her first non fiction book got published last year with the name-A Mystical Majesty-the woman. As a contributing author, her anthology with the title–Wait Till I Tell You got launched recently. With dreams in her eyes, she believes in living life optimistically.

The Story Behind Every Song – Cultural Influences to Music

Beethoven, my favorite composer went deaf before he composed some of his most famous piano and orchestral musical works. He was very poor, living in Vienna, but didn’t let his financial hardships or disability deter him from playing and composing music.

In my opinion, he was one of the first true composers to really understand the piano. Other composers before him helped bring the piano to the forefront as a true and important instrument, but the harpsichord was very famous still too. I believe that the culture he lived in was a major influence on his music.

Music Around the World

[bctt tweet=”Every composer creates music based on their experiences and culture” username=”contactrwc”]

Every composer creates music based on their experiences and culture. While playing piano for vocalists, they would sing in different languages. Depending on what language they were singing in would determine how I would interpret and play the piano accompaniment part.

When you hear music from around the world, it will all sound different. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why? People from other cultures are also unique individuals.

Even though I am from America, I could compose a song and my neighbor down the street could compose another song, but they would still end up sounding completely different.

Because we’re both from America, we may use a lot of the same sounds, rhythms, and instruments, but our own personal style will go into our music. Most of the time when you are from a different country, you can tell if music is from Jamaica, Africa, Mexico, India, or Italy just by hearing it. Your experiences and knowledge bring you to this understanding.

So many different cultures have shaped me as a music teacher.

My Musical Journey & Influences

My journey began in my first grade classroom one December day. Our class was called to the carpet to sit around the piano. It is not very often that a classroom teacher has an instrument in their classroom, so I thought this was pretty cool that our teacher played for us daily.

On this particular occasion, she played the song “Jolly Old St. Nicholas.” I ran home from school that day and couldn’t wait to sit at the old piano my dad had just gotten from our church. After picking at the notes for a little while, I finally figured out how to play the melody of that song we had just learned, all by myself. It felt fabulous!

I went on to take piano lessons and learned how many famous composers played piano and composed such amazing music and the rest as they say is destiny.

I enjoy teaching the African, American, and Spanish cultures the most. I love to teach and play the African drumshey are a great way to teach rhythm and steady beat. Student’s love learning how to play the different types of African drums (djembe, talking drum, and African drum) and the dances to go along with the drumming as a group.

When teaching a song from the Spanish culture, we learn the Spanish language first, then the dances that go along with the song like flamenco, and sometimes even add maracas.

When learning American music, my favorite type to teach is folk music. Students love learning how these songs have been passed down from generation to generation and are songs even their grandparents used to sing. There are so many folk dances where kids have a partner and can dance down the middle or in a circle while singing the song.

Teaching Music

When I taught piano and music in the classroom, teaching music from other cultures was so important to me. Not only would my student’s learn the music, but they would learn about what the people of that culture or country liked to eat, how they liked to celebrate, what their families were like, clothes they enjoyed wearing, and so much more.

We would immerse ourselves in the culture we were studying and when it came time to learn a story or song, the students were so into it. One of my favorite memories of teaching about music from other cultures was when I introduced my students to Native American music. They got to see and hear me play the Indian flute I had made in my music in diversity class in college.

The students understanding before that day, was that a flute was just a flute you would see in a modern day orchestra. They had no idea that a flute can look different in so many different cultures but still go by the same name.

I love to hear stories from my friends or other musician’s about their favorite music to study or listen to. There is so much amazing music out there and I love to continue learning more and more about what’s out there. There are chants, raps, gospel, country, pop, rock, jazz, blues, Classical, reggae, and so much more.

Every single style of music originates from somewhere and there is a story behind every single song written. Do you create music? What has country influences your music the most ?

Jessica Peresta is a mom to 3 little boys. Music has always been a passion loves teaching kids of all ages, inspiring them towards music. She has taught elementary music for 7 years as well as private piano lessons. Seeing many who did not have access to quality music education, she started The Domestic Musician site. Her goal is to teach music to as many children as possible, no matter where they live, what their demographic is, what culture they come from, or what disability they may be facing. Every child can and should learn music. You can follow her on Facebook @thedomesticmusican or Twitter @thedommusician

4 Major Influences of My Jamican Heritage

Growing up, I always called myself a Jamerican.

I was born in the states, but raised by Jamaican parents. All of my extended family is Jamaican as well. As an Air Force “brat,” I was surrounded by several other kids whose parents original origin of birth wasn’t the U.S. I grew up with a Jamerican experience while being raised in the south.

As an adult no longer surrounded by other military families, I have settled with my family south Georgia. Many people I encounter live close to family, and have for generations. This highlights the stark differences between my Jamerican upbringing and theirs. I notice it even more as I compare my parenting with other southern moms.

[bctt tweet=”I call myself Jamerican : the amalgamation of American and Jamaican culture infused within me. ” username=”contactrwc”]

Here are a few things I have noticed about my Jamaican parenting:

I Love Jamaican Food

There are no international markets near me, so when I want to eat Jamaican food or season my food with Jamaican spices, I have to ask my mother to purchase for me, get it from Atlanta, or my grandmother mails it to me from up north. Sometimes I just have a craving for authentic Jamaican food!

Once when my uncle came to visit from New Jersey, I cried because he ate the last bit of ackee and saltfish (national dish). I didn’t know when we would have a chance to eat it again, and I thought it was unfair because he ate it all the time in New Jersey.

I Am Resilient

There’s a joke that you are a lazy Jamaican if you only have 1 job. There have been many times in my life that I’ve worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time. I’ve learned how to work hard and persevere through tough times. Both of my parents grew up poor, but worked hard through those tough times. They have instilled that in me-the ability to be resilient and not give up when times get tough. Every generation has a hope of making things easier for the next, but I hope that my children will still learn the value of hard work and resilience.

Love of Music

Jamaicans love to sing…all..the..time!

My mother sent me to Jamaica a few times as a toddler, but the first time I remember was in July 2010. All the resort staff was singing, as well as people in the community. I felt such a connection to my roots! Now it made sense to me why I have always done that. My husband used to make fun of me, but now he has embraced that part of my culture-and our kids do too!

Desire To Keep Culture of Jamaica Alive

Growing up, I always remembered my parents being friends with other Jamaicans, or people from other islands. Eating Jamaican food & listening to reggae makes me feel at home wherever I am. I want to make sure that my girls take pride in our Jamaican family.

When my husband & I married, it was important to me that he had a love of my culture. I remember him playing Bob Marley on the way to a date & thinking, “This relationship is off to a good start!”

Acceptance of Diversity

Jamaica’s motto is Out of many one people. No matter the skin color, if you were born in Jamaica, you are a Jamaican. I have met many Jamaicans of different ethnicity, but the culture, the food and the music tie them all together. This is a bit tougher in the south because people are hyper focused on race. I hope that my children will be able to see past race and relate to people on other levels.

Diedre Anthony is a full time school counselor, mother and wife. In her blog Are Those Your Kids? , she focuses on her experiences of raising her biracial girls in an interracial marriage. Her posts are filled with helpful tips about raising children, diversity, curly hair as well as entertaining stories, and anecdotes. Several of her posts have been published by the Huffington Post. You can find her on twitter @rthoseyourkids and facebook @are those your kids.

6 Unexpectedly Positive Effects of Living with Food Allergies

Climbing up a hill behind a century old pueblo in New Mexico under an inky dark sky, I settled in a chair between my two children. We are silent, gazing at a darkness we’d never seen, punctuated by blazing points of light. I never dreamt a diagnosis of life-threatening food allergies for my son 12 years ago in Pennsylvania would have brought us here today.

Sometimes circumstance chooses you.

In the midst of closing on a new-old house in 2002, we were painting, racing back and forth between the two homes. With my husband at the new house, I went back to give my 10-month-old something to eat. I had grabbed a few jars of baby food at the market, thinking he might like the oatmeal & apple cereal as a treat. Strapped in his high chair, smiling and babbling away, he obediently opened his mouth when I made like an airplane and zoomed the cereal to his mouth.

After a few bites, he stopped his normal movements. His color turned gray. I lived half a mile from the hospital, so I grabbed him and the jar and raced into the emergency room. The nurse took one look and rushed him inside. After doses of adrenaline and a battery of tests and several hours, they handed my son back to me with epinephrine and directed me to see an allergist. I went home in a daze. My son had a life-threatening food allergy to egg. Further testing revealed allergies to wheat, peanuts, tree nuts and barley. He had the same reaction to all of them. He stopped breathing.

What do I do now?

There were no allergies in my family. There also weren’t the products you see lining the market shelves today. Even now, it’s rare to find something he can have. There aren’t many products that encompass all his food allergies. I didn’t know what to do.

His first birthday cake was a two-pound block of cheddar cheese with a single candle in it. Three months after the diagnosis and I was still floundering. My son’s allergist is one of my favorite people. He galvanized me into action with one simple sentence.

Choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.

We decided that while his life would not be the same as others, it would still be extraordinary. I learned everything I could about food allergies, cross-contamination, and to cook differently. And I decided to home educate my son.

Some folks turn to home education because their school system is inadequate. Some choose because their religious beliefs dictate another path. And some choose because it’s the best way to keep their children safe. We fell into the latter category.

After numerous close calls with cross contamination that wasn’t visible to the eye, we chose to embark on a journey I never envisioned. [bctt tweet=”Food allergies became the silver lining for my family, I had never expected.” username=”contactrwc”]

School is so much better the second time around.

Much to my surprise, I found that I loved home education. I loved sharing the discovery with my son. I loved being the one that sparked the “aha” moment. In the beginning we covered all the standards covered in traditional schools: he learned his numbers, the alphabet, how to read, how to add and subtract, how to spell.

We fell in love with books together.

Reading room was our favorite activity. I’d spend at least two hours a day reading aloud, small boy seated by my side. “One more chapter,” he’d plead. “We’re just getting to the good part.” Weekly trips to the library fed our voracious appetites. His comprehension and vocabulary soared. It was magical.

We loved the stories we read, but it wasn’t quite so interesting covering every other subject. It wasn’t tactile enough. We needed to get up close and personal.

School Became Discovering Cultures

We took our classroom on the road. After reading about Vikings and the settlement of North America, we headed north to Canada and Nova Scotia. We hiked Cape Breton Island, learned about Alexander Graham Bell at his museum in Baddeck, Nova Scotia. We visited The Gaelic College in Englishtown and learned about Gaelic culture. We stayed in a small cottage on the sea, owned by a man who had left his homeland in Holland to pursue life in a quiet Canadian province.

In Florida, we kayaked with manatees under the watchful eye of a conservationist who taught us the best way to see is to be quiet. We were rewarded with glimpses of docile, lovely sea cows in their natural habitat.

We hiked through wetlands, careful to avoid sleeping alligators sunning themselves on the banks in the tall grasses. Together we learned to be more observant of the world around us.

In New Mexico, we marveled at the idea of a “wild cow.” Though I laughed at my son’s suggestion when we encountered a lone bovine in the mountains of the Gila National Forest, a shaman (medicine man) soon set me to rights as he pointed out what we could touch and what we should avoid walking in the wild.

California introduced us to sweeping extremes. Desert in the south, full of rippled dunes that encroached on the roadway. Sunny groves of citrus and almonds and avocados. We saw firsthand what living in drought conditions meant for families that farmed dry acres. We drove up through clouds to wrap our arms around the famous California redwoods trees, and we were cautioned to watch out for the grizzly bears.

We drove through miles and miles of our nation’s farmland, lulled into a quiet rhythm by seemingly endless acres of corn. The very next day, the sense of calm was shattered as we raced toward Kentucky, ahead of a series of tornados. The skies were black and calm and too quiet. The lines for fuel were long. Every day brought a new aspect of the adventure.

Conversations and Music

Each day on the road, we’d pull out a map and get a general idea of where we were headed. Nothing was set in stone to allow for detours as needed. One of our favorites started with a barbecue billboard and ended eating sandwiches along the river in Ozark, Arkansas on my birthday. The late afternoon sun was warm and we were the only ones in this little town at the river that day. Magical.

The connections and adventures are equally strong in your own town, or the next one over. The idea is to talk more, learn firsthand and spend time together. Creating memories leads to conversation, sometimes even lively discourse. My son and I hold diverse political views. But at the end of the day, we are better for the interaction and the time spent.

And Every day ends the same …

And I’m grateful for that. As the day draws to a close, my son gives me a hug, and an “I love you, Mom.”

I love you too, Buddy.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand. You can find her on twitter @debfingerlow and on facebook @connect.converse.write

5 Interesting Attributes of Mangalorean Catholics in India

Easter was celebrated worldwide on April 16. This Christian festival, which is actually holds more importance than Christmas, marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ three days after his death by crucifixion at the hands of the Romans. It also marks the end of 40 days of Lent, which is a period when Christians have a religious obligation to fast, pray and observe penance.

Estimates peg the number of Christians worldwide at more than 2.2 billion. Of these, around 27 million are Indians. Yours truly happens to be one among them.

Christianity in India

The history of Christianity in India is almost as old as the history of Christianity itself. As per ancient Indian Christian tradition, the religion and culture surround it was brought to India by Thomas the Apostle around AD 50 in a region that now forms part of the Southern Indian state of Kerala. It is also said that another Apostle, Bartholomew, disembarked on the western coast of India and spread Jesus’ message.

The number of Christians in the southern state of Kerala who practice the Syrian Orthodox doctrine of Christianity is evidence of the fact that India is home to some of the earliest Christians in the world.

However, Christianity in India spread significantly between the 16th and the early 19th centuries, when Portugal had colonies in India. Erstwhile Portuguese colonies in India, including Goa, Daman, Diu and Dadra & Nagar Haveli, and even Mumbai are known to be home to large populations of native Christians even today.

Between the 16th and early 19th centuries, Portuguese Missionaries, with the support of the Colonists, were able to convert hordes of natives in their colonies to Christianity (Roman Catholicism to be precise).

It is worthwhile, however, to know that not all of these conversions were done in the right attitude and spirit on the part of the Portuguese Missionaries. In fact, there are many stories of natives being coerced, sometimes with the threat of violence or attachment of property.

[bctt tweet=”I to belong to a family of Catholics who originate from the Mangalore district of the southern India, in Karnataka. Originally Portugese.” username=”contactrwc”]

History of Mangalorean Catholics

I happen to belong to a family of Catholics who originate from the Mangalore district of the southern Indian state of Karnataka. After a lot of reading and discussions with older generations in the family, I learnt that Mangalorean Catholics were originally inhabitants of the Portuguese colony of Goa.

Apparently, they had migrated out of/fled from Goa at different points in time for reasons ranging from the Portuguese Inquisition in Goa (circa 1560), the occurrence of famines and epidemics and political upheavals/wars. It is interesting to note that most of these Mangaloreans religiously held onto a lot of their Hindu/native Indian customs and traditions.

[bctt tweet=”Most Mangaloreans religiously held onto a lot of their Hindu/native Indian customs and traditions.” username=”contactrwc”]

Language and Dialects

Although the younger generation prefers to speak in Hindi (the national language of India) or in English, in traditional Mangalorean Catholic households the language spoken is Konkani.

Konkani is actually the language used by Goans and has a lot of Portuguese influence, but the Konkani used by Mangalorean Catholics is heavily influenced by the South Indian languages of Kannada and Tulu. Also, interestingly, the Mangalorean Konkani is written in Kannada script.

Bilingual Names

Traditional Mangaloreans will always have a Christian or a European name, and also a native/Indian middle name. For example, my full name is Christopher Roshan D’Souza. My brother’s name is Ravi Vincent D’Souza. You will also find a tradition of pet names like Pedru for Peter, Ijju for Isabelle, Mettu for Matilda, Gibba for Gilbert, Panchu for Francis, and so on.

History of surnames

Mangalorean Catholics bear Portuguese surnames. This is because our Goan ancestors assumed the surnames of the Portuguese priests who baptised them when they were converted, or their Portuguese godparents.

Hence, you will find surnames like Furtado, Pinto, D’Souza, Pereira, Gomes, Coutinho, Fernandes, and so on in the community. But prod the elders in the community a little and they will tell you the Indian surnames of their ancestors – Prabhu, Shenoy, Nayak, Pai, Kamath, Shet, and so on.

Wedding Rituals

A Mangalorean Catholic Wedding will initially look like a European White Wedding in the Chapel. Later, you will see Indian rituals like flowers being used to adorn brides’ hair, brides being draped with traditional red Indian bridal sarees (known in the community as ‘Sado’).

Bridegrooms tying Mangalsutras around their wives’ necks, farm produce like pumpkins, rice, betelnuts, coconuts, etc. being exchanged between families, and many others.

On the evening before the wedding, a ceremony known as ‘Ros’ is organised. This is for both the bride as well as the groom by their respective families. A symbolic purification and anointing is conducted by way of applying coconut milk on their heads, hands and feet – this is like a traditional Hindu ‘Haldi’ ceremony.

There is also a ceremony at the end of the wedding reception known as ‘Opsun’, which is similar to the ‘handing over’ ceremony called ‘Vidaai’ that Hindus practice, wherein the bride’s parents symbolically hand over their daughter to her in-laws and request them to treat her as their own daughter.

Warding off Evil Eye

There is a very Indian concept known as ‘the evil eye’. There is believed to be a curse cast unknowingly by a malevolent glare. It is believed that it can be caused either when someone looks at you with evil intentions, or envies you, or sometimes even when someone is extremely fond of you.

It is believed that receiving the evil eye will cause misfortune or injury. Traditional Mangalorean Catholic households follow the traditional Hindu way of warding off the evil eye with the help of salt, red chilli peppers and some exotic Indian spices.

These interesting trivia are merely the tip of the iceberg as far as the community is concerned.

Christopher Roshan D’Souza is father to a 3 year old boy. By profession, he has a Masters Degree in Finance. He is working as a Research Analyst with a reputed global data and insights company. In an alternate life, he is a blogger who loves writing poems and short stories. He has a keen interest in music across genres, is a football fanatic (Arsenal FC fan), and is currently learning to play the guitar. He also loves trekking to hill forts and photography. Christopher likes to describe himself as a Jack of a few trades and a master of some, and as an introvert who loves appreciation yet hates being in the limelight.

Twinkle Toes – Shanmathi

Twinkle Toes

Once upon a time in the night, there lived a beautiful little shining bright star named Twinkle Toes. She had a father named Sam and a mother named Cassy. When the time Twinkle Toes was born her mother & father loved her name. Twinkle Toes loved her name.

One day Twinkle Toe went to her school for the first time. Every one had a name tag. Everyone’s name fitted on the name tag except Twinkle Toes. Lots of people were making fun of her.

When Twinkle Toes went home, she cried a lot. She said, “Why is my name so long everyone is make lots of fun of my name.”

“Your name is perfect”, said the mother.

” Go to school again and lets see if they make fun again”, said father. Twinkle Toes went to school.

The next day they went to music class and in the music class. She asked the teacher her name. She said Chrysanthemum. It hardly fit on her name tag. It hardly even fit on her name tag. When everyone saw her name they never made fun of Twinkle Toes again.

Then Twinkle Toes loved her name again.

I am 8 years old. Live in Texas. Going to third grade. Interested in writing stories, singing and dancing. Love to play with friends and family. I wanna became teacher.

Pros & Cons of Parenting in a Joint Family

I grew up in a nuclear family set-up with my parents and my sister, as did most of my friends. Living in Mumbai, this was the only family set-up we knew. In modern India, especially in urban cities, joint families are as good as extinct. The only exposure I had to a joint family was the over-the-top portrayal in Hindi cinema – the rose tinted view of large families living in grandiose havelis, women perpetually dressed up in sarees and family jewels, men doing business together, children running about and playing together and everyone getting along splendidly, so much so that they would often break into song and dance together.

Getting married into a joint family, I was faced with the reality of living in this set-up, that as wonderful it is to have a large family, there are innate complexities involved as well. It requires adjustment and compromise to maintain a fond relationship with every member of the family.

As I soon as I had adjusted to living with my husband’s family, it was time for me to embrace motherhood. And raising a child in a joint family, especially in modern India, comes with it own pros and cons.

What I love about raising my child in a joint family:

Support System

They say it takes a village to raise a child. The biggest advantage has been having a strong support system around, both in terms of having ready and eager babysitters, as well as getting emotional support when the going gets tough. When my son got high fever in the middle of the night, when the house help doesn’t turn up on the day I have to rush for an important meeting, I know I have trustworthy support to reply on.

Bond with Relatives

It is heartening to see my son forge close ties with his grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles. He has a unique special relationship with each of them. He is probably closer to his grandparents than I was to mine and this is a bond that I am sure he will cherish for life.

Impact on Social Intelligence

Having so many family members around of all ages has had a positive impact on my child’s social skills. Very early on he learnt the importance of sharing and respect for elders. He has always been social and is not uncomfortable in new surroundings or among large gatherings

Cousins are First Friends

They say cousins are our first playmates and friends for life. Though my son is still the first of the children in his generation, I look forward to him having many cousins around to play with.

Keep the Traditions and Languages Alive

Having elders around has been an enriching experience for my son. He is exposed to and values age-old traditions, something I would not have been able to impart to him. More importantly, I am happy that he is picking up our mother-tongue Sindhi which is sadly a dying language and one I am not speak myself.

However there is always a flip side to every coin.

Balance of Different Schools of Thought and Parenting Ideologies

Having multiple people means multiple ideologies and parenting styles. Sometimes our way of thinking is seen as too modern. Few religious customs we chose not to follow caused tension in the family. It is always a fine balance maintaining relations without hurting someone’s sentiments and yet being able to raise our child the way we want to.

Losing Control Over Discipline

We all know how grandparents pamper their grandchildren. It is beautiful to see my son getting so much love and affection, yet it becomes difficult when I need to lay down the rules. When he is not getting another cookie from me, he knows his tears will work with his grandparents.

I even had to relax my rules on no screen time before 2 years because I could not expect my in-laws to switch off the TV every time my son was around. So how do I deal with this loss of control? Sometimes I just accept that this is going to happen and the pampering it is part of their special bond. But at times my husband and I need to stand our ground, especially when health is concerned. At such times, it is best to openly communicate our concerns and try to get everyone on the same page.

It is all about choosing which battles are worth fighting over and which ones are best to let go.

Mahak Wadhwani is the author of “Diary of a Baby – Candid confessions of a baby from 0 to 2 years” and blogger at Baby & Beyond. An Engineer and MBA, Mahak spent 8 years working in business and technology consulting, before jumping off the corporate ladder and landing headfirst into a life of pooplosions, 3 a.m. feeds, teething and toddler tantrums – a life so exciting that she realized she just had to share her journey with the world. She writes about her parenting escapades, with a focus on gentle and mindful parenting techniques, mother and baby products, age-appropriate toys, books & activities and health & wellness.

You can connect with her at:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/babyandbeyondin/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/babyandbeyondin/

Birthday Gift Card – Sanjith Vijay

I am Sanjith Vijay, I am 5 years old. I love to play with cars. I have a collection of cars of all models.

Doing something for our loved ones is one of life’s little pleasures. And it is so important that kids learn early this joy of giving, that multiplies when received. Imagine the joy of Sanjith’s father when he found this beautiful card made by this 5 year old for his birthday.

We would like to take a moment to wish his father many such wonderful fatherly moments all year round.

My Favorite character ‘Dogman’ – Aneesh Gosangari

I am Aneesh Gosangari. I am 7 years old. I love the author ‘Dav Pilkey’ and I made his fav character on canvas DogMan !!! I decided to paint my own favorite things to put on my room’s wall. I love legos and writing comics too.

Aneesh is a brilliant boy who surprised his mom with this poster. They were looking to buy some posters to put on his room he said “Please don’t waste money to buy those stuff. I will do my Favorite thing so that you can put on wall in my room!”

Needless to say, Aneesh’s parents are super proud of their son, his creativity and thoughtfulness.

We thought its nice idea!!!

Dogman:

Snowman – Adidev Sreehari

My name is Adidev Sreehari. I am 6 years old. I like to draw and read about dinosaurs, whales, and planets. I like to make stuff with play-doh. This is a short story I wrote about Snowman.

A Story About a SNOWMAN:

It was a cold snowy day. I woke up to see white everywhere. I shouted snow. I ran outside and made a huge snowman. I named him Leo. Suddenly Leo opened its eyes and started talking to me. I was surprised. ‘Hello,’ he said. I want to go to the Arctic. Are you coming? I said no. Leo said goodbye to me and started walking all the way to the Arctic to see sea creatures.

Leo got excited and jumped into the water. He saw seals, penguins, sea lions and killer whales. Suddenly he saw a leopard seal coming towards him. Leo escaped to a hiding place. To his surprise, he found another snowman also hiding there. They both together managed to get out to the surface of the water. And they became friends and lived happily ever after in the Arctic.

Ramadan – A Time for Reflection, A Time For Community

Ramadan – the holiest month for Muslims around the world; the month when almost two billion Muslims around the world abstain from food, and water from dawn to dusk. The days when they dedicate their time to piety and prayer. Muslims believe that it was during this month that the Holy Qur’an was first revealed to Prophet Mohammed (Peace Be Upon Him).

It is the month of peace and forgiveness. While abstaining from food and drink is possibly the most visible aspect, that isn’t all there is to it. Muslims believe that the rewards reaped for acts of worship, and other good deeds, during this holy month, are multiplied. A large number of Muslims also participate in the special ‘Taraweeh’ prayers in the evening.

It is believed that one of the last ten nights of Ramadan is Lailatul Qadr or the Night of the Decree. During this night, the first few verses of the Holy Qur’an were revealed to Prophet Mohammed (PBUH). This night is considered to be a night of blessings, and forgiveness.

That is just an introduction to what the Holy month means to Muslims from a religious standpoint. What I would like to talk about is the cultural significance of what Ramadan means to me?

Observing Ramadan in Childhood

As a young Indian Muslim growing up in the Middle East (Bahrain, to be precise), Ramadan was a time of joy! Of caring and sharing. It was a time for families and community gatherings. It was a time for worship, and learning. It was exhausting – oh, yes! Absolutely! But also immensely rewarding.

Almost a month before the Holy month began, we would start cleaning the house. It was pretty much our annual spring cleaning. As the days got nearer, we would start making and freezing dishes which can be prepped easily. My mom would start chanting religious prayers and songs – songs which I can recall easily to this day – many years after I have left home.

The best part about being in a Muslim country is that it is around you all the time.

The malls and streets are decorated and lit up with crescent moons, lamps and stars. Ramadan Kareem billboards are everywhere. The Azan (the call to prayer) is heard loud and clear five times during the day. People don’t eat or drink in public, and almost all restaurants are closed till the fast opens each day – in respect for those are fasting and well, because it is the law.

[bctt tweet=”The best part about being in a Muslim country during Ramadan is the convenience. It is around you all the time. ” username=”contactrwc”]

I remember days when we had to climb up our three flights of steps after school, at around 2pm, lugging our incredibly heavy school bags. After a long day at school, we would be famished! But we still had a few hours to go. Watching some television, doing homework, or playing were the activities while we were really young. As we became teenagers, and then adults, the role – in the hours that led to Iftar – was about helping mom in the kitchen, and setting up the table.

At the dusk prayer, we would all sit together, and break our fast as a family. Starting with dates – as Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) has been recorded as suggesting – and water, we then jump into a feast.

As adults, we obviously know that Ramadan is about anything but food – but as kids, food was one of the things we looked forward to the most during the days of fasting.

The common dishes on any Malayali Muslim’s table would be – the semolina kanji or the lentil kanji, Tang – usually the orange flavor, some fruits and a variety of typical snacks. The snacks ranged from the sweet – pazham pori (Plantain banana fritters), unnakkai (plantain banana missiles stuffed with sweetened coconut filling), Sweet Ada to the savory – samosa, cutlets, fish ada, prawns ada, erachipathiri and so on! Ah! My mouth is already watering.

Community Spirit

There were also a number of Iftar gatherings across the country. Not just family gatherings, but also organized by various associations and clubs like the Indian Club, and the Bahrain Keraleeya Samajam (and others – but these two I am extremely familiar with).

Many of these saw the participation of a large number of non-Muslims. I have listened to the sermon of a Christian priest, and the teachings from a Hindu pandit, as well as Muslim imam at the same gathering. I was and am always amazed at how people come together for a celebration – while fully respecting the religious values and ethos of those who are fasting. Such gatherings are extremely important – and as children, it helped us learn values of diversity, of respect, and of humanity.

[bctt tweet=”Garangao is an arab version of Trick or Treating during Ramadan where kids where traditional clothes and go home to home.” username=”contactrwc”]

Garangao

Another very interesting celebration during Ramadan – usually the fourteenth day is known as Gergaoon or Garangao. Children dress up in traditional outfits, sing traditional songs, and go from house to house collecting nuts or candies. An Arab version of trick or treating, one can say.

I have had the pleasure of participating in a few of those celebrations in Qatar (as an adult though), and I just cannot wait for my son to grow up. Big halls are set up with multiple booths for children’s activities, reading, coloring, traditional games, photobooths, it really is an experience in itself.

Celebrations Today

Even as child, and now as an adult, there is one thing every one always looks forward to – the end of Ramadan – not because it brings the end of fasting but because it brings Eid! The Eid at the end of Ramadan is known as Eid Al Fitr.

Of course the days leading up to is busy – the prayers being the most important element. And shopping for new clothes, putting henna on our hands, and one more round of house cleaning.

Once the moon has been spotted, and Eid has been declared, my mom would start reciting the Takbeer (a prayer chant) loudly at the house, and we would join in too. All this with uncontainable excitement about the next day.

On Eid Day, we would wake up nice and early for the special morning prayers which happened around 6am. Across Bahrain, there would be Eid gaahs (special grounds set up for community Eid prayers), or we would just go to the grand mosque.

Eis was really about family and community. And as kids (and even now for me 😛 ), there is an added bonus of (hopefully) getting Eidi. A token sum of money that children used to get from elders! We then go out and visit relatives, and of course there is some biriyani involved! And get Eidi from them as well.

Now in Qatar, we make it a point to go for the fireworks show that is organized every Eid. In India, it is a very common practice to have fireworks at home. I used to love celebrating Eid in India because of that!

But Eid is the Middle East is extra special – like Christmas probably is in the West.

Schools are closed for three days. There are decorations and festive bill boards everywhere. The entire country celebrates it – doesn’t matter if you are Muslim or not, expat or local, child or adult! Eid is a celebration for every member of the community! There is definitely celebration in the air.

With Eid coming up soon, I wish you a blessed Ramadan Kareem and an exciting enjoyable Eid Mubarak! Do share your experience of the Holy month of Ramadan.

Dilraz Kunnummal is journalist, public speaker, dancer, explorer, and mum to a cheeky one-year-old. She has a decade of experience working in the media industry across India and the Middle East. Her portfolio includes being the editor for a women’s magazine, heading a business publication’s editorial team, running a corporate newspaper, and producing radio shows for a channel with 45 stations across India. A lifelong expat, Dilraz loves learning more about different cultures and traditions. Her goal as a mom is to raise a child who knows empathy, kindness and compassion, while also being confident of reaching his own potential whatever that may be. Dilraz often pens her thoughts on mother hood, and life with her family on her blog, mommydil.com

Raising Funds Through Art with Kids

Have you ever considered encouraging your kids’ creativity for the good of others?

Mayur Art Studio owner Neelima Ganta did just that with the kids in her classes. She got together all the kids work and helped raise funds for the ASK Childhood Cancer Fund.

Every week in Central Virginia, 1-2 kids are diagnosed with cancer. Kids like Caleb. ASK Childhood Cancer Foundation’s mission is to make their lives better by providing Assistance, Support and Kindness when kids and their families needs it most. From the moment of diagnosis, through treatment and beyond. You can help too. Click here to find out how.

Neelima Ganta created an art show at the Tuckahoe public library. At the event, her many students and she herself proudly displayed their works of art for the benefit of the ASK Cancer Fund. You can find out more about Neelima, her art and the classes she provides here.

Neelima Ganta is an Indian born and raised artist, currently residing in Richmond, Virginia USA, is a certified Art instructor.Her artistic progress began as a child as she grew up in a family of Artists. She began picking up in various kinds of arts and crafts since she was 6yrs. Though she did masters in fine arts she preferred to say she was self- thought. Her art is characterized by vibrant colors and bold composition. Most of her works are with acrylics and oil paintings but will enjoy working with other mediums like Oil pastels and pencil and Charcoal also.

Celebrating the Cultural Diversity Across India

India has often been recognized as a country of unique and distinct culture. India has many languages, religions, music, dance, foods, architecture, etc. which differs from its state to state. The Indian culture is an amalgamation of several cultures and has been influenced by the Indian history.

The diversity of Indian culture can be seen under the following heads.

Festivals

The Indian culture can be best observed during the festivals. India, being a multicultural and multireligious country, it has several festivals to celebrate. The popular Hindu-religion festivals like Navratri, Ganesh Chaturthi, Dussehra, etc are celebrated with full zeal and excitement. However, the way of celebration changes from state to state. Navratri is being celebrated in the western part of India by playing Garba-Raas and Dandiya, while the same is celebrated in the form of Durga Puja in Bengal which is an Eastern part of India. In North India, Navratri is being celebrated by worshipping and keeping fasts for the Goddess Durga throughout the nine days.

Apart from the Hindu festivals, India also celebrates Eid-ul-Fitr, Eid-ul-Adha (Bakri Eid), Baisakhi, Guru Nanak Jayanti, Christmas and Easter with the same spirit in its several cities. Festivals make India united with different cultures.

Greetings

Indian culture is very famous for its greeting manner. ‘Namaste’ is the term which is used to greet people when they meet. This term is derived from Sanskrit which means ‘I bow to the divine in you’. However, this term gets changed a bit while moving from state to state. This includes Namaste/Namaskar (Hindi, Odia, Marathi), Namaskara(Kannada), Namaskaram (Telugu, Malayalam), Vanakkam (Tamil), Nomoshkaar (Bengali), Nomoskar (Assamese), Aadab (Urdu), and Sat Shri Akal (Punjabi).

These greetings or the salutations are used at the time of depart as well. This shows the respect.

Clothing

Clothing pattern of India varies from state to state but usually preferred and prominent style includes sarees for women and dhoti kurta or dhoti pyjama for men. Here Indian culture seems to be different in a way of draping saree. However, there are many states in India where regional preferences of clothing are observed. These preferences are observed due to the climatic conditions and the physical activities of a woman.

Apart from the clothing style, Indian culture also differentiated based on the make-up of Indian women, like bindi, bangles, sindoor(vermillion). Sindoor is a red or orange colour powder which is applied by a married woman after parting her hair. The application of sindoor is a traditional Indian culture.

Cuisine

India is rich in its spices and so in its cuisine. From Kashmiri mouthwatering Rogan Josh to Tamil Nadu’s Dosa and Uttapam, from Gujarati Dhokla to Kolkata’s Maachh-Bhaat (Fish curry and Rice) all are worth to taste. Indian food has a vast variety and variations. The taste and ingredients change its preparation style also while moving from one state to another. Indian cuisine is the best cuisine around the world as it has a blend of flavours and a feel of food.

Parenting

Parenting is also an important part of our Indian culture. The raising up of a child also varies from region to region. Despite having variations, the Indian culture always teaches Life values, Discipline and the importance of family support while raising the kids.

If we talk about the variations in parenting styles in India, we will observe that the parents from East India (Bihar, West Bengal, Odisha, and many others) are bit introvert and over-protective in nature. However, they provide better food and manners to their child. On the other hand, parents from western states of India (Goa, Maharashtra, Gujarat, etc.) are quite extrovert and modern in their thoughts. The living standards are generally high which affects the parenting style too. The parents from the southern part of India strives majorly on education and cleanliness, while the parents from northern parts of the country give more focus to health and diet.

The diversity of Indian culture has inspired many people. Although the concept of Indian Culture’ is complex and complicated, still India has unity on its diversity.

Have you been to India? What struck you most about Indian culture?

Lives with a notion “SIMPLE LIVING, HIGH THINKING” and have an optimistic approach towards life. Always eager to learn new things. She is founder of a Parenting website called “Budding Star“.