Featured Guest, Author at Raising World Children

Valentine’s Day Themed Art By Kids

We bring to you beautiful pieces of art by kids of Mayur studio who under the watchful eye of Neelima Ganta create masterful strokes in art.

Neelima Ganta is the Owner and Artist of Mayur art studio. She enjoys painting with Acrylics and passing on the tradition of color to her students so they can carry a love for the arts within them.

Each student has created an imaginative piece around the theme of Valentines day showing that love translates differently for different eyes.

You can check out more Neelima’s work on on the website for her studio – Mayur Studio . She is open to creating new pieces and selling commissioned art as well as teaching your child to create their next masterpiece.

Don’t forget to send your child’s creation to us at contact@localhost. Submission guidelines can be found here.

Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

Do you remember the old song written by Johnny Mercer and performed by Bing Crosby?

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

Maybe Mercer had the right idea. Maybe focusing on the positive would help us be more effective parents, better friends, and happier people overall.

There is a parenting method whereby parents praise good behavior (“I love the way you are sharing with your sister”) rather than focusing just on negative behaviors (“Stop being mean to your sister!”). I’m oversimplifying, but the general idea is that kids act badly to get attention. If acting in positive ways gets more attention, they will engage in more positive behaviors and fewer negative behaviors.

[bctt tweet=”Engaging in positive behavior is encouraged by encouragement on positive actions. Here are ways to help them accentuate the positive in their life. ” username=”contactrwc”]

You can find out more about the positive approach to parenting by clicking on this article of Positive Discipline Tips and another one about Reinforcing Positive Behavior at Home.

How I Apply It

Does it work? In my experience, it does, as much as I am able to apply it. When I remember to focus on my kids’ positive behaviors, they do seem to work harder to get my attention by “showing off” good behavior. The biggest challenge is remembering to make a big deal out of the positive behaviors. It’s so much easier to notice the bad ones, especially when I am tired and overwhelmed (and let’s face it, that is most of the time!). One of my goals this year is to proactively encourage the behaviors I want to see rather than reacting to the behaviors that make me crazy.

As I’ve been thinking about this parenting approach, I’ve started to contemplate how it could work in different areas of life. For instance, what if we applied this philosophy to media coverage? What would happen if we only covered stories in which people engaged in positive, life-affirming behavior?

Immediately, I can think of one drawback. Bad behaviors, like sexual harassment, would continue to occur because no one would alert the public to the problem. Those types of issues would remain secret, and victims would be robbed of their powerful voices.

Knowing that it isn’t feasible to only report the good stuff, let me just indulge in a happy news fantasy. If most of the world’s journalism focused on the great things people around the world do for others, would people be even more likely to do great things? Would world leaders fight harder to achieve world peace and end hunger and violence if those were the only actions journalists covered?

Most importantly, would our children benefit from being presented with positive models of behavior they can emulate rather than adults who indulge in base human instincts? Whenever we read the news, we see hatred, violence, and self-indulgence. As parents, we are presented with a huge opportunity—and mandate, even—to seek out content that uplifts, that affirms life, that provides models of positive ways of interacting.

I encourage all of you to try, for at least a week, to focus on the positive. Talk to your kids about news stories involving people acting in amazing, kind, and life-affirming ways.

And let’s talk about gossip: we all do it, and it has been proven to play an important role in society, reforming bullies and encouraging cooperation. Let’s try something different, though. Instead of talking about people in negative ways, let’s “gossip” about all the good things people do, as in, “Have you seen Aditi’s blog, Raising World Children? Isn’t it amazing how hard she works to help foster tolerance and love?”

Try focusing on the good stuff for a week. Then let me know how it goes. How do you feel when you talk about only life-celebrating news? How do your kids respond to hearing more about positive behaviors?

When talking about positive news, Prof. Tal Ben-Shahar says, “Positive information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.” We need good news to thrive. Do you feel happier when you take in more positive information?

To help you accentuate the positive, I leave you with some websites that share only the good news.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-neumann/15-uplifting-sites-focuse_b_1297094.html

http://www.adweek.com/digital/7-positive-news-sites-to-cheer-you-up/

https://www.walkbrightly.com/

And here are some lists of children’s books that inspire. They may not all be about good things, but they all celebrate the difference a person can make in the world:

50 Inspiring Children’s Books With a Positive Message

8 Book Recommendations for Happy Kids

6 New Picture Books Enjoy Wonder

Catherine Brown loves to write happy, life-affirming stories about ordinary people doing amazing things. She also writes about parenting and education to help readers learn from experts how to make their lives just a little bit better. Every day, she strives to be a kind and loving friend, partner, and mom…some days are better than others! You can find her at writehappy.net, on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/writehappy.net/, and on Twitter, @catwritehappy.

Are You in a Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage ?

When we meet new people, without realizing we tend to categorize them. Coast person vs mid-west person, Tea drinker vs Coffee drinker, Dog person vs. Cat person, Trump person vs. sane person and so on. Oh yes, we all do it, don’t deny it. We are a judgmental bunch!

The next time you are getting to know someone look carefully into the person’s eyes as you make introductions. The moment you mention your particular affiliation there will be a look of relief in his/her eyes as he/she slots you successfully into a bucket. He/She will find similarities, differences and paint you in carefully marinated opinions and then place you ceremoniously in a category. Once that is done he/she can open up or build a wall, befriend you or end the conversation. There is no escaping this. We all do it. It is an essential ritual, a norm of social interaction.

Boxing Applies To Marital Status As Well

Some of the most confusing and amusing slotting has been when people inquire about my marital status. No, its not ‘Married’ or ‘Single’. This one is more about the ‘how’ of it. It is the ‘Love’ or ‘Arranged’? For some background, I am a South Indian origin by birth, Mumbai bred girl by upbringing married to a North Indian boy from a city in modern day Uttarakhand.

When people hear this or decipher it from our different last names, there is a hush and lull. Then a look of either awe or disappointment flood their eyes depending on the categories that I myself have assigned to them by now.

Love marriages in the context of middle class life in Mumbai that I grew up in entails a certain formula – Usually it means girl meets boy and they fall in love in miraculous seconds. Then there is societal and parental opposition. After that follows the fight, the drama, the eloping and a grand finale of a ‘happily ever after’ marriage.

‘Arranged marriage’ on the other hand is a meticulously planned event by harried parents, mysterious well wishers and the entire Aunty-dom. It goes like this. Aunty sees ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’ at wedding or other event where one decorates oneself. Aunty asks for boy/girls horoscope. Aunty matches horoscopes, sometimes creatively. Aunty brings proposal. Girl and Boy agree docilely. ‘Happily ever after’ ending of marriage follows.

My Story Defies The Assumption

When people ask me Love or Arranged, I can almost hear the plunk as they throw me the ‘Love’ category. But my marriage had none of the drama that comes in the conventional love marriage. I met my husband in my thirties. We took much more than seconds to get to know each other and then decide to get married. Parental and societal objection had reached a fatigue point by then having been futilely active for 10 plus years. There was no eloping. A mutually agreed upon ceremony occurred. It all resulted in a marriage that was more like a continuation of an imperfect but enjoyable life than the, if I may call it, unrealistic ‘happily ever after’ illusion.

So, no I don’t feel comfortable with the categorization of the ‘Love marriage’ bucket. But I guess I didn’t have much from the Aunty-dom either to call it ‘Arranged’.

So where then do I belong? Which bucket is mine? There’s got to be a Goldilocks solution to this too – somewhere in between. Afterall, there is always much more room in the middle. For marriage categorizations and our new political situation too. How about something novel, something bipartisan? There’s place for so many more in the middle.

We can all be happy here the Midwesterner with coastal risque, the coastal with Midwestern values, the non-caffeine drinker, the dog/cat neutral person, and the, maybe, ‘finally recovered former Trump supporter’? As far as marital statuses go, I henceforth propose a new category for people like me.

How about calling it the ‘Self-arranged with love’ category? Which box do you fall in ?

Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love.

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA

Happy New Year 2018 !

Featured in the video powerful women changing the world.

Aditi Wardhan Singh – Raising World Children

Christina Tinker – Richmond Moms Blog

Suja Dinesh – Passionate Moms

Ronda Bowen – Snark Magazine

Tammy Coin – Doors of Wellness

Janie Saylor – Become University

Parul Agrawal – Alpha Female House

Deepa Rai – Selfie VA

Rivkah Krasnoff – Aspiring Mompreneur

Sherrie McCarthy – Creative Mermaids

Caroline DePalatis – Culture Weave

Anna Bursell – World Changer

Dilraz AR Kunnummal – Mommy Dil

Jaya Joseph George

Madhu Peruri – Pretty Pockets

Bunny Young – A Better Place Consulting

Deanna Seymour – The Lively Nest

Meeta Arora – Piping Pot Curry

Laura Fernandez Ramnath – Rambling Ramnaths

Chastity Hise – Domestic as Hell

Author Jennifer Millikin – Author

Jewel Eliese – Write Away Mommy

Sandy Mangis – Jar of Success

Shannon Lanzerotta – Sister Mom

Merlie Priya Pais – Musician

Nicole Fassnacht Akers – Pubishous Now

Charu Chhitwal – Ketchup Moms

Ruchi Rastogi – Writer of Dreams

Sandhya Acharya – Diversity Author

Owen’s Fireworks: A Community Life Celebration

How do you make the unthinkable, the unbearable tolerable? How do you move past the loss of your child? And how do you relearn how to smile on his birthday?

One family in Pennsylvania found the best way is to gather your community together to celebrate his life with everyone who knew the little dark-haired, Pokeman-toting, always smiling boy.

Every year, on his December birthday, the community gathers to send fireworks heavenward, to smile and see folks, and to remember. And strangely enough, Owen’s community has grown over the years to include new friends that didn’t know him, but grew to love him anyway through his family.

Oh, the Weather Outside Doesn’t Matter

Last year was colder than it’s been for a while, but the freezing temperatures didn’t seem to deter anyone. They gathered in the street, as they have for the past twelve years, stamping their feet, clapping mitten-covered hands and marveling at how much the neighborhood kids had grown. They were celebrating Owen’s birthday. He would have been 20th that month.

The annual fireworks party is a time to gather, to heal and most importantly, to remember. The driving force has always been Aryn. Petite with long hair somewhere between light brown and blonde, she is dressed in knit cap, ski jacket and boots. She looks like many of Owen’s friends home from college for the holiday. Mom to five children, Owen was her first-born. A storm during a camping trip felled a tree, and Owen was lost when he was in first grade.

Stronger Together

Using the word “we” comes naturally to this close-knit community. We are in this together. Healing and remembering go hand in hand and it is an ongoing process. It never ends, but Owen’s family reached out and wrapped themselves around us, and we responded in kind.

While some might shy away at any mention of Owen’s name, Aryn drinks it in. Always remember, never forget. We have the t-shirts and the scholarship and the elephant drinking fountain in the park, and the color green. Owen’s favorite animal was the elephant. We all remember. As a writer, I do my best most times to detach myself from the story, but not this time. This is personal for all of us. We are truly in this together. We all still have our green Never Forget tee shirts from over a decade ago, and we wear them regularly as part of that promise.

I remember a sometimes silly Owen who would take my daughter’s eyeglasses and hat. Riding in the backseat to school, they’d trade and laugh at how different and how alike they looked. Both sported dark brown page boy haircuts. Maybe a little short for a girl, maybe a little long for a boy, but it suited both of them perfectly. I remember two dark heads pushed together in concentration with sidewalk chalk, or lazily swinging back and forth on our old white wicker porch swing. There is joy in remembering.

The Importance of Remembering

Back outside, we were glad the wind from earlier that week died down. It was time for the fireworks. Owen’s dad and brother are annual masters of the ceremony, setting off one blazing, sparkling pyrotechnic after another to appreciative oohs and ahhs and applause. When the occasional green firework goes awry, we laughed and credited that to Owen.

The lanterns were passed around, and we gathered in small groups of three and four to light, inflate and send skyward. Each one was cheered on as it slowly rose and soon, we all watch a line of glowing lanterns drifting up and away.

Owen’s family thanked us for coming, as they always do. We shared hugs and smiles with people we don’t see every day. We shared a connection through this time spent together once a year as we stopped and remembered and healed, just a little bit more. It was Owen’s 21st celebration last night and every year this time we tuck away this day to celebrate his life .

If you happen to hear a few stray fireworks round about mid-December, do me a favor and think of Owen. His mom would like that!

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.

Why We Turn Into Our Parents ?

Breaking Generational Parenting Trends

Think about it. How many times have you said a phrase or reprimanded your kids and thought, “My mom used to say the same thing!” Or done something in such a way that it reminded you of your dad?

It’s because we tend to mimic our greatest influences and in most families, our greatest influences are our parents.

And this can be both good and bad. Because while we pass down positive traits and habits, we can also pass down negative ones.

Influences of Generational Parenting

I grew up in a family that didn’t hug often. My mom was critical, and wasn’t one to hide her disappointment. And as a growing child, it hurt me. I took that negativity and looked inward, always wondering what was wrong with me.

Only now as an adult do I see the connection between how my mom treated me and how she was treated by her mom.

My grandmother was never the emotional type. I don’t remember her ever using the words “I love you.” She demanded perfection and didn’t ever want to appear as anything less. And as part of the family, anything different or less than perfect was looked down on.

And to my grandmother, my mom was different. I know my mom had some awareness of how she was treated. And that she did not like it and did not want to be like her mom.

Unfortunately, passed down traits, the ones we pick up and learn throughout our lives, can be very hard to reprogram.

While I can see some of the differences in the way my mom parented and the way she was parented, I also saw many of the similarities.

And this is something that is very common in people who have been hurt themselves. They go on to do very similar things. Because hurt people tend to hurt other people.

While I’m very aware of how I treat my kids, I may still say something out of frustration. Or I may yell more than I intended to. And of course, there’s always some guilt after and a lot of apologizing and hugs, but I do often wish my initial reaction was different.

How To Break The Pattern

So how can we change this? How can be reprogram ourselves to not repeat the patterns that once hurt us?

It starts with awareness. Awareness of not just the way we parent now, but also of the way were brought up.

Ask yourself these questions:

What was my childhood experience like? Was it mostly good or bad?
How has it affected my life today? (This one may take some deeper work. For example, if you often heard children should be seen and not heard, perhaps you still feel the need to keep quiet and not voice your opinions. If someone told you that you were shy, you likely still feel like you are, maybe even using your shyness as an excuse to NOT do things. If you were told you couldn’t accomplish things, you may have a tendency to hold yourself back and not try new things now.)
Are there any feelings you had as a child that you hope your own children never have to feel?
Is there anything my parents did that I know I do NOT want to do?
What kind of parent do I want to be?

This may take some journaling and looking deep into your past. I want to encourage you to think of anything that seems out of the ordinary. Maybe you remember comparing your parents to your friend’s parents. I want you to remember these thoughts and remember those feelings. There must have been something in that instance that made you long for something different.

And this may take some time. Facing our past isn’t always the easiest. And sometimes we are too closed off and emotional disconnected from our experiences to see how not normal they really were.

These questions are meant to bring you to a new awareness. When we’re aware of our own past, we have a much better chance of changing the present and the future.

Here’s the thing about parents and parenting. I do think that our parents did the best they could with what they knew, just as we are doing today. But I also believe that parenting tactics and styles can easily get passed down when we’re not aware of them. Luckily, with a little awareness, we can make conscious decisions to change things.

What are some parenting traits your parents have passed onto you ?

Corinne Kerston is an intuitive parent empowerment coach who helps moms who are struggling with kids who don’t listen, throw tantrums and act out. She helps them eliminate the yelling, scolding and resulting mom guilt that comes from it. If you’d liked to learn more about how Corinne can help you understand and positively parent your own children, schedule a free 30-minute call here.

When Is It Safe To Get Your Child Contact Lenses

When is it safe to get your child contact lenses ?

Contacts offer several benefits to those who have vision challenges. The first benefit is enhanced appearance. If you don’t like the feel and look of eyeglasses, contact lenses provide the freedom of less weight on your face while providing visual assistance. However, there are precautions that must be followed to maintain eye health especially if you’re considering purchasing contact lenses for your teen.

The best time to allow your teen to begin wearing contact lenses is when you’ve educated your teen about these contact lens care steps, and when he or she has demonstrated the ability to follow these steps on a regular basis.

Promote Hygiene

Contact lenses must be handled with the highest level of hypoallergenic care. This is due to the increased chances of the eye being infected by germs. Before inserting a contact lens into the eye, your teen must wash his or her hands thoroughly before opening the secured lens package. Hand washing is also imperative when removing contact lenses. Placing a clean piece of tissue under the contact lens case will also prevent germs from being transmitted from a counter’s surface.

Opt For Daily Lenses

If you purchase daily contact lenses, you will decrease the chances of eye infection because these type of lenses must be thrown away at the end of the day. Daily lenses don’t require the same level of cleaning as regular contact lenses. The lenses are already stored in the proper amount of solution. Regular contact lenses require rubbing the lenses with disinfectant solution and rinsing with saline solution prior to insertion and storage. If the lenses are not cleaned or rinsed thoroughly, the risk of having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the solution will be increased.

Avoid Extended Wear

If your teen’s eye doctor does not recommend extended wear contact lenses, it’s important to emphasize the removal of contact lenses prior to going to bed. This will prevent the contact lenses from getting stuck on the eyeball or moving away from the iris. It can be difficult to remove lenses from the eye when natural moisture has been lost because of prolonged eye closure. The eye fluid that accumulates while sleeping can cause dryness as well. As a result, contamination will be the consequence that will lead to infection. Removing the lenses prior to sleeping allows the eye to rest. Visit an eye care professional, like Discover Vision Centers, to see your options when it comes to contact lenses and what would work best for you.

Contact lenses should not be treated like eyeglasses. Laying lens cases on unclean counters or storing cases in unprotected bags can allow lenses to become vulnerable to germs. Educating your teen about his or her eye health should not be taken lightly. The more precautionary steps that are taken to reduce eye infection, the more preserved your teen’s vision will be when he or she gets older.

Emma Sturgis is a freelance writer currently living in Boston, MA. She writes most often on education and business. To see more from Emma, say hi on Twitter @EmmaSturgis2

Using Potty Training To Develop Early Core Values

Hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence are all qualities parents want to teach their children. We take them seriously. But most parents don’t think those are taught in the bathroom. That sounds silly. The truth is that the potty training stage is vital to building strong, capable children and lasting, solid relationships between parent and child.

You’ve taken the time to catch the coos and snag the snuggles. You rejoiced when baby rolled over and again when they took their first steps. But, the stinky messes at diaper change don’t garner the same praise or smiles, do they?

Yet, this process is certainly natural and the time you invest in your child transitioning from passive diaper filling to purposeful potty filling can boost your child’s self-esteem, deepen your relationship and, quite unexpectedly, be really fun.

So how does a parent make a party out of poop and pee? There are several things that you can incorporate into the process. All the things that toddlers enjoy in other rooms, they enjoy in the bathroom. Books, dolls, rhythms and quality time with you are all transferable to the bathroom. And as much as we were taught not to have a potty mouth, it is actually helpful to talk about the bathroom in other rooms.

That potty talk can take place in many ways. Good books exist to help put words in the mouths of parents unsure of how to start the potty dialogue. Adding such a book to the daily reading routine will help introduce the idea to both you and your child. Dolls are quite useful, too, not only adding a level of play, but also adding companionship. Dolls have a secret power, too. As you teach your child about anything, including potty training, encourage him to instruct the doll. As he tells the doll, what he understands and doesn’t understand, will become clear. Dolls are like mirrors reflecting your child’s understanding. If what you hear reminds you more of a funhouse mirror, try teaching that part again. Your child can’t do correctly what he doesn’t understand.

A successful process certainly begins with a great deal of support. And support is spelled t-i-m-e. You will spend time reading books, playing with dolls and maybe even singing bathroom themed songs.

What more can you do? You can take your child to the bathroom – when you use the potty. Narrating your “experience” might be awkward but it’s normal for your child. They are used to hearing his entire life narrated:

“Look at Katie walk!”
“Is Ayla eating with a spoon?”
“Andy is sitting like a big boy on the potty!”

We don’t usually exit the bathroom and announce proudly, “I made a poop in the potty and I washed my hands after!” But, your child will find that statement fun and encouraging. Why? Because as adults we see the bathroom as more of a library than an auditorium, but for a child “all the world’s a stage”. While you can use the bathroom several times a day without giving it a thought, this process is awkward for most children. It’s not like you let them poop into any other chair in the house.

And to be honest, that toilet flush is loud and not a little creepy, right?. Potty training is a very transitional and empowering time in a child’s life. This is the first physical accomplishment that they are attempting to master since walking and requires much more control, awareness, detail and sequencing.

Being in the bathroom with you for your assorted “accomplishments” will be a great learning tool, too. They can sit on thier little potty while you assume the throne. When you wipe and flush, so can they. You can wash and dry your hands together.

Doing this together several times a day will help reinforce that this is a natural process that everyone does and makes muscle memory for the sequence of wiping and flushing, wishing and drying. And whether or not they makes a deposit at the potty bank, allow your child to praise you for your job well done!

Through many attempts comes a success. And a string of successes becomes mastery. Your confidence is bestowed in praising the effort more than the outcome. While they sits on the potty, each moment of your time in conversation, reading a book, singing a song, or involving a doll will give her the patience to keep trying. It will also build her conviction that you will always be there to help her.

Some children take to potty training more quickly and some need more time. Some children have developmental delays and some have had trauma in their young lives and need even more support and patience.

The good news is that this often dreaded stage of parenting is really a great platform for the coming phases.

You and your child will set precedent for the learning process. Your child will learn how to trust you with other obstacles they face. Potty training isn’t just a physical accomplishment, it is emotionally empowering, too.

The openness you share will help build a more trusting relationship in the future. Your child will pass through life going from one accomplishment into the next challenge. Being the interactive, encouraging and inspiring parent at this phase will show your child that you will be all of those things in the next.

Don’t worry about how fast you get potty training done or get dragged into the “I trained my child faster” race. Successful potty training should not be defined not by how quickly it was done – but by how thoroughly it was done – by how happily it was done – by how the parent-child relationship blossomed in the process.

Done successfully, the achievement of toilet training will give your child confidence they can build on for a lifetime, and help them to develop those desired qualities of hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence.

How was your potty training experience over all? Do share the lessons you learned with us below.

Jackie Leverton is the founder of Tot on the Pot. She and her husband combined their love for kids and family, to create fun and meaningful activities, driving them forward every single day. So in an effort to help moms and dads enjoy every minute with their kids (even the crappy ones), they spent years crafting the perfect play based solution that would actually make kids want to adopt the potty as part of their routine.

Storytelling: An Irish Tradition Set to Music

I watched an older couple get up to dance. It was difficult for her, age had stolen her flexibility and strength, but she was determined to dance her appreciation of the fiddle band up on the stage. Her gaze alternated between her husband and the ground, checking to see if she was getting the movements right. Her partner was spry, sporting a single diamond in one ear, a day’s grizzled beard growth and a grin. He held both her hands as he kicked up his heels and she tentatively tried a few steps, smiling at the man before her.

Nearby, two little girls in long, flowing dresses and ribbon crowns danced with a third child wearing an “I’m the real boss” t-shirt. Welcome to The Great American Irish Festival, where everyone can be a “weekend Irish” and all, regardless of age, ability or ethnicity are welcome. It’s an annual melting pot in the heart of New York wine country, and far away from everything at the Herkimer Fairgrounds.

#irishstrong

It’s said that music knows no boundaries and the adage seems to hold true at this three-day music and cultural festival held every year on the final weekend of July. Naturally, there’s food and drink. Haggis, anyone? Or perhaps a scone? And there are trinkets for those wanting to take a little of the festival home. But the real stars are the music and the stories, and they’re intertwined.

The Irish tell a good story.

This year, Colleen Searson told the story with her fiddle of a night at the top of a secluded stairway on the roof of a castle in Ireland. She spoke, then played and we could all see the black night and the stars, and feel the cool night air in After the Waltz. And the music had no words.

And then there was Joe Keane, the storyteller. Speaking in a soft voice, he told the story of the meanings behind the Celtic knot. It’s about infinity with no beginning and no end. He talked about the tree of life, and the seasons of the earth through an Irishman’s eyes. And he talked about the importance of strong roots, his fingers fanning downward and then upward with growth. It was an old story, but intense in the telling. Joe Keane made certain you were listening and understanding, watching carefully for a nod and smile. It was important to him that you understood.

What is magical about this particular festival, in this particular place, is the diversity.

While there are certainly a great number of Irish in attendance, there are also a number of “weekend Irish” that come for the day. They come to hear the stories, to dance, to laugh, to be part of a connected community for at least a little while. They learn a few words, they marvel at the range of the fiddle and they smile at strangers who smile right back.

The stories told are of the Irish, but they are also of everyone that has struggled and succeeded. And also of the ones that did not, because that is life. The brogue is sweet to the ear, and the stories are familiar. Off to war to fight for home and country. The loss of love. The road home. The heartbreaks and triumphs are universal, even if the language varies.

The message is simple: we are one.

The festival of the Irish is a call to connect, to respect traditions and to know the history of a people. As parents, exposing our children to these snapshots of other cultures and other people is vital to their education. Not only do we engage with folks we don’t know, and learn about our differences, we learn about how much we are alike. We connect.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.

Teaching Diversity To Our Kids

The Pew research center published an article last year about diversity pointing out 10 important demographic trends last year. One of the statistics stood out for me. It said” By 2055, the U.S. will not have a single racial or ethnic majority.”

We are raising our children in increasingly diverse society with representations from so many different cultures. The electorate, the work force, our education system are all going to be impacted. We will see people around with different ways of speaking, dressing, eating, praying and living. It is a massive opportunity to learn about each other and grow. We will essentially witness a rainbow of cultures, but we have to be ready to open our windows and step outside. What are some things we can do to make diversity an important part of our households?

Celebrate together

Festivals are important. Other than celebrating with our family and friends, we should raise awareness in our schools about each other’s festivals. For example, I realized fall is chock full of festivals from different cultures. It would be great to do a showcase of different cultures in school. Maybe a culture day to celebrate different festivals Rosh Hasanah, Diwali, Onam, Eid, Ashura, Thanksgiving to name a few. Check the calendar and stop by the school and see if you can talk to the classroom about your festival. Encourage other families from different ethnic groups to do the same.

Read together

Children are constantly looking at the books they read to form world opinions. Let’s give our children diverse material. There is no need to be pedantic about cultural topics. Sometimes simple books are the best conversation starters. If you have read ‘Last stop on Market Street’ by Matt De La Pena, you will know what I mean. The book teaches empathy and love in a way that is so easy and even fun for the children to understand. Ask your library to stock up with diverse books be it from your culture or other cultures you have been curious about.

Bond together

Make an effort to build connections with families from different cultures. We are always comfortable with the familiar, but we learn and grow by exposing ourselves to the new. Call your neighbors over be it for Chai and samosas or Coffee and Cake. Arrange for playdates with children from different communities. Just stop by and say hello to that person who just moved here from a different country. Let your friendships expand.

Travel wide

What better way to learn about different ways of living than actually seeing and experiencing it. Travel far and travel wide. Make it a cultural learning experience. Observe the trees, the houses, the churches, the temples and talk about similarities and differences. Try different foods, speak to the local people. Let your child always be curious.

Learn more languages

Keep your mother tongue alive. If you are a multilingual household, speak to your child in different languages. Don’t worry, children’s minds are like little sponges. They will have no problems communicating using multiple languages. Teach numbers in different languages, use basic words for food, colors and slowly build up. I need serious effort on this one myself!

What other ideas do you have to teach diversity to your kids?

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA

Reach out to a Vilomah Remembering Their Lost Ones

Children playing enthusiastically in a playground…
Toddlers rushing to meet their parents after a day away at school…
Kids at a restaurant noisily playing with spoons and forks…
A kid throwing a tantrum in the neighborhood mall or grocery store…
Your child making a mess just to prepare a special mothers day card for you…
Your child running up to you and giving you a bear-hug with sticky fingers and hands…

We come across these situations so often that it is easy to visualize and be able to feel the enthusiasm, hear the noise and see the reactions in our minds. These are common everyday occurrences that we at times take for granted. There are many times we want the children to only be seen and not heard or not even be seen at times when we are in the midst of some important work or busy with our virtual world or just want the noise to quieten down.

We forget that there are some of us who long for a hug, a kiss, the noise, the love, the mess, but do not get it. They dream of holding a little one in their arms, or holding their hands, or teaching them something, but they can’t. They would sacrifice everything in a moment just to hear a sweet voice saying ‘Momma’.

But some dreams do not come true or were about to come true but at the last moment. The beautiful dream was shattered and the bubble burst and you are left with nothing but memories, tears, silent houses, deafening thoughts, empty arms, lifeless cradles…

The Loss Of A Grieving Family

Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child. Losing a child is an excruciating feeling and no matter how much time goes by, the loss and the feeling of loss never goes away. You are forever changed. Continuing your life without your little one is the new normal.

The loss of any loved one is extremely difficult to cope with. But to lose a part of you that you have created and were carrying for so many months while dreaming dreams of forever is all the more difficult, which is something that not many realize.

[bctt tweet=”Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child.” username=”contactrwc”]

Pregnancy loss or infant loss is not easy to go through just because you never knew the child or spent so little time with them. The special bond that is created between the mother and the child is eternal and the mother, even if her child is no longer with her, is still a mother and still grieves for the child that was perfect in her eyes, that was taken away from her too soon.

She carried them and talked to them and shared all her dreams and fears with them. Her children had identities and characteristics; she knew their sleep patterns in her womb; what she could eat or drink to wake them up; when they would kick; when they would be most active; whose sounds would get them moving; what sounds would get them to calm down.

Fathers and siblings too feel the pain and the grief, even if they don’t express it and handle it differently. The family as a whole had built a dream around the little one and the loss reverberates across each member of the household. It is difficult for the other children to understand and come to terms with why their baby brother or sister is not coming home to them… Why they are not getting their promised playmates… Why their parents and other family members are so sad all the time…

I lost my firstborn twin son on the third day in April 2009. I told my daughter about her twin a few years back and she took it very matter-of-factly. Every now and then, she asks some questions about him or happily tells her friends about her brother in heaven and that she will meet him there.

October 15 – Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I wish more people would be empathetic towards vilomahs or parents who have lost their children and not want them to ‘get over it’ within a specific period. Everyone goes through their own healing process and needs love and support.

Reach out to someone who has gone through such a difficult time, talk to them about their child, about their feelings, show them that you care. Let them give a voice to the sorrow, the pain and the love that they have kept bottled up inside them. You might be surprised to know that they are eager to share about their angel in heaven and that they remember them every day.

It took me eight years before I finally used writing as a cathartic and therapeutic way of healing and wrote my first book. My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers)

Let us remember our little angels this October and find peace in the hope that we will meet our angels in heaven soon.

Rebecca Vijay is an author, mommy blogger, freelance editor and designer, with two young children and an angel in heaven. In a career spanning a decade and a half, she has worked in various industries such as advertising, hotels, NGOs, and publishing; and was heading a commissioning team in OUP when she took a break to spend time with her kids and explore ways to make a difference. She is working on her first YA novel and has published her first book – My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers). – in the memory of her firstborn twin son and has contributed to an inspirational book that has been written by over 100 moms from around the world When You’re DONE Expecting: A Collection of Heartfelt Stories from Mothers All across the Globe. You can find her here. –

Advantages of Taking Time Out for Self Love

Empower Yourself This World Mental Health Day

Raising World Children is about celebrating different lifestyles, experiences and cultures. It is about what we all bring to this vast world table. Perhaps one thing world cultures share is a hesitation to discuss mental health.

World Mental Health Day aims to change that.

Mental health challenges know no borders.

In the United States, medical offices began offering questionnaires several years ago with the hope of helping those who didn’t even realize there was an issue. While this does provide a method of gathering information, it doesn’t go far enough. Eliminating the stigma surrounding any mental health disorder must come first. Enter World Mental Health Day. The overriding goal is to raise awareness of mental health issues, and mobilizing efforts in support of better mental health.

Established in 1992, this year’s 25th anniversary theme is Mental Health in the Workplace. Given that many folks spend a third (or more) of their day at work, addressing mental concerns there only makes sense.

Depression doesn’t always manifest with someone feeling sad and lonely.

It may show up through the back door in the form of a myriad of other ailments. While symptoms are addressed, the root cause can sometimes slip through the cracks, leading to a medical merry-go-round because we don’t think about the mental aspects of wellness. More than 300 million people worldwide live with depression. An additional 260 million experience debilitating anxiety.

What can we do? As a society embracing cultures across the globe, we can extend a hand. How?

Appreciate each other, and show your gratitude.
Foster a supportive environment.
Watch for early signs of burnout.
Build awareness of mental health issues and reduce the stigma.
Help each other.

What else can you do?

If you’d like to help, one of the best things you can do is to talk about mental health, to make it just like any other health concern that needs to be addressed. Mental health shouldn’t be spoken about in whispers; it should be given the same level of concern as any other condition that affects your overall health.

Want to know more?

Check out the 2017 World Mental Health Day report, better yet, sign the workplace pledge. Use #worldmentalhealthday. Add a banner to a social media profile. It all comes down to the same thing: raise awareness. Mental health issues don’t discriminate, and they don’t abide borders, or economic status. They hurt everyone equally. Raising awareness raises the opportunity for treatment.

For my children, and for yours, and for all the ones we’ll never meet, let’s work together to make everyone feel better about asking for the help they need.

And when you ask someone, “How are you?” really listen to the answer.