Featured Guest, Author at Raising World Children

Breaking Generational Parenting Trends

Think about it. How many times have you said a phrase or reprimanded your kids and thought, “My mom used to say the same thing!” Or done something in such a way that it reminded you of your dad?

It’s because we tend to mimic our greatest influences and in most families, our greatest influences are our parents.

And this can be both good and bad. Because while we pass down positive traits and habits, we can also pass down negative ones.

Influences of Generational Parenting

I grew up in a family that didn’t hug often. My mom was critical, and wasn’t one to hide her disappointment. And as a growing child, it hurt me. I took that negativity and looked inward, always wondering what was wrong with me.

Only now as an adult do I see the connection between how my mom treated me and how she was treated by her mom.

My grandmother was never the emotional type. I don’t remember her ever using the words “I love you.” She demanded perfection and didn’t ever want to appear as anything less. And as part of the family, anything different or less than perfect was looked down on.

And to my grandmother, my mom was different. I know my mom had some awareness of how she was treated. And that she did not like it and did not want to be like her mom.

Unfortunately, passed down traits, the ones we pick up and learn throughout our lives, can be very hard to reprogram.

While I can see some of the differences in the way my mom parented and the way she was parented, I also saw many of the similarities.

And this is something that is very common in people who have been hurt themselves. They go on to do very similar things. Because hurt people tend to hurt other people.

While I’m very aware of how I treat my kids, I may still say something out of frustration. Or I may yell more than I intended to. And of course, there’s always some guilt after and a lot of apologizing and hugs, but I do often wish my initial reaction was different.

How To Break The Pattern

So how can we change this? How can be reprogram ourselves to not repeat the patterns that once hurt us?

It starts with awareness. Awareness of not just the way we parent now, but also of the way were brought up.

Ask yourself these questions:

What was my childhood experience like? Was it mostly good or bad?
How has it affected my life today? (This one may take some deeper work. For example, if you often heard children should be seen and not heard, perhaps you still feel the need to keep quiet and not voice your opinions. If someone told you that you were shy, you likely still feel like you are, maybe even using your shyness as an excuse to NOT do things. If you were told you couldn’t accomplish things, you may have a tendency to hold yourself back and not try new things now.)
Are there any feelings you had as a child that you hope your own children never have to feel?
Is there anything my parents did that I know I do NOT want to do?
What kind of parent do I want to be?

This may take some journaling and looking deep into your past. I want to encourage you to think of anything that seems out of the ordinary. Maybe you remember comparing your parents to your friend’s parents. I want you to remember these thoughts and remember those feelings. There must have been something in that instance that made you long for something different.

And this may take some time. Facing our past isn’t always the easiest. And sometimes we are too closed off and emotional disconnected from our experiences to see how not normal they really were.

These questions are meant to bring you to a new awareness. When we’re aware of our own past, we have a much better chance of changing the present and the future.

Here’s the thing about parents and parenting. I do think that our parents did the best they could with what they knew, just as we are doing today. But I also believe that parenting tactics and styles can easily get passed down when we’re not aware of them. Luckily, with a little awareness, we can make conscious decisions to change things.

What are some parenting traits your parents have passed onto you ?

Corinne Kerston is an intuitive parent empowerment coach who helps moms who are struggling with kids who don’t listen, throw tantrums and act out. She helps them eliminate the yelling, scolding and resulting mom guilt that comes from it. If you’d liked to learn more about how Corinne can help you understand and positively parent your own children, schedule a free 30-minute call here.

When Is It Safe To Get Your Child Contact Lenses

When is it safe to get your child contact lenses ?

Contacts offer several benefits to those who have vision challenges. The first benefit is enhanced appearance. If you don’t like the feel and look of eyeglasses, contact lenses provide the freedom of less weight on your face while providing visual assistance. However, there are precautions that must be followed to maintain eye health especially if you’re considering purchasing contact lenses for your teen.

The best time to allow your teen to begin wearing contact lenses is when you’ve educated your teen about these contact lens care steps, and when he or she has demonstrated the ability to follow these steps on a regular basis.

Promote Hygiene

Contact lenses must be handled with the highest level of hypoallergenic care. This is due to the increased chances of the eye being infected by germs. Before inserting a contact lens into the eye, your teen must wash his or her hands thoroughly before opening the secured lens package. Hand washing is also imperative when removing contact lenses. Placing a clean piece of tissue under the contact lens case will also prevent germs from being transmitted from a counter’s surface.

Opt For Daily Lenses

If you purchase daily contact lenses, you will decrease the chances of eye infection because these type of lenses must be thrown away at the end of the day. Daily lenses don’t require the same level of cleaning as regular contact lenses. The lenses are already stored in the proper amount of solution. Regular contact lenses require rubbing the lenses with disinfectant solution and rinsing with saline solution prior to insertion and storage. If the lenses are not cleaned or rinsed thoroughly, the risk of having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the solution will be increased.

Avoid Extended Wear

If your teen’s eye doctor does not recommend extended wear contact lenses, it’s important to emphasize the removal of contact lenses prior to going to bed. This will prevent the contact lenses from getting stuck on the eyeball or moving away from the iris. It can be difficult to remove lenses from the eye when natural moisture has been lost because of prolonged eye closure. The eye fluid that accumulates while sleeping can cause dryness as well. As a result, contamination will be the consequence that will lead to infection. Removing the lenses prior to sleeping allows the eye to rest. Visit an eye care professional, like Discover Vision Centers, to see your options when it comes to contact lenses and what would work best for you.

Contact lenses should not be treated like eyeglasses. Laying lens cases on unclean counters or storing cases in unprotected bags can allow lenses to become vulnerable to germs. Educating your teen about his or her eye health should not be taken lightly. The more precautionary steps that are taken to reduce eye infection, the more preserved your teen’s vision will be when he or she gets older.

Emma Sturgis is a freelance writer currently living in Boston, MA. She writes most often on education and business. To see more from Emma, say hi on Twitter @EmmaSturgis2

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Using Potty Training To Develop Early Core Values

Hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence are all qualities parents want to teach their children. We take them seriously. But most parents don’t think those are taught in the bathroom. That sounds silly. The truth is that the potty training stage is vital to building strong, capable children and lasting, solid relationships between parent and child.

You’ve taken the time to catch the coos and snag the snuggles. You rejoiced when baby rolled over and again when they took their first steps. But, the stinky messes at diaper change don’t garner the same praise or smiles, do they?

Yet, this process is certainly natural and the time you invest in your child transitioning from passive diaper filling to purposeful potty filling can boost your child’s self-esteem, deepen your relationship and, quite unexpectedly, be really fun.

So how does a parent make a party out of poop and pee? There are several things that you can incorporate into the process. All the things that toddlers enjoy in other rooms, they enjoy in the bathroom. Books, dolls, rhythms and quality time with you are all transferable to the bathroom. And as much as we were taught not to have a potty mouth, it is actually helpful to talk about the bathroom in other rooms.

That potty talk can take place in many ways. Good books exist to help put words in the mouths of parents unsure of how to start the potty dialogue. Adding such a book to the daily reading routine will help introduce the idea to both you and your child. Dolls are quite useful, too, not only adding a level of play, but also adding companionship. Dolls have a secret power, too. As you teach your child about anything, including potty training, encourage him to instruct the doll. As he tells the doll, what he understands and doesn’t understand, will become clear. Dolls are like mirrors reflecting your child’s understanding. If what you hear reminds you more of a funhouse mirror, try teaching that part again. Your child can’t do correctly what he doesn’t understand.

A successful process certainly begins with a great deal of support. And support is spelled t-i-m-e. You will spend time reading books, playing with dolls and maybe even singing bathroom themed songs.

What more can you do? You can take your child to the bathroom – when you use the potty. Narrating your “experience” might be awkward but it’s normal for your child. They are used to hearing his entire life narrated:

“Look at Katie walk!”
“Is Ayla eating with a spoon?”
“Andy is sitting like a big boy on the potty!”

We don’t usually exit the bathroom and announce proudly, “I made a poop in the potty and I washed my hands after!” But, your child will find that statement fun and encouraging. Why? Because as adults we see the bathroom as more of a library than an auditorium, but for a child “all the world’s a stage”. While you can use the bathroom several times a day without giving it a thought, this process is awkward for most children. It’s not like you let them poop into any other chair in the house.

And to be honest, that toilet flush is loud and not a little creepy, right?. Potty training is a very transitional and empowering time in a child’s life. This is the first physical accomplishment that they are attempting to master since walking and requires much more control, awareness, detail and sequencing.

Being in the bathroom with you for your assorted “accomplishments” will be a great learning tool, too. They can sit on thier little potty while you assume the throne. When you wipe and flush, so can they. You can wash and dry your hands together.

Doing this together several times a day will help reinforce that this is a natural process that everyone does and makes muscle memory for the sequence of wiping and flushing, wishing and drying. And whether or not they makes a deposit at the potty bank, allow your child to praise you for your job well done!

Through many attempts comes a success. And a string of successes becomes mastery. Your confidence is bestowed in praising the effort more than the outcome. While they sits on the potty, each moment of your time in conversation, reading a book, singing a song, or involving a doll will give her the patience to keep trying. It will also build her conviction that you will always be there to help her.

Some children take to potty training more quickly and some need more time. Some children have developmental delays and some have had trauma in their young lives and need even more support and patience.

The good news is that this often dreaded stage of parenting is really a great platform for the coming phases.

You and your child will set precedent for the learning process. Your child will learn how to trust you with other obstacles they face. Potty training isn’t just a physical accomplishment, it is emotionally empowering, too.

The openness you share will help build a more trusting relationship in the future. Your child will pass through life going from one accomplishment into the next challenge. Being the interactive, encouraging and inspiring parent at this phase will show your child that you will be all of those things in the next.

Don’t worry about how fast you get potty training done or get dragged into the “I trained my child faster” race. Successful potty training should not be defined not by how quickly it was done – but by how thoroughly it was done – by how happily it was done – by how the parent-child relationship blossomed in the process.

Done successfully, the achievement of toilet training will give your child confidence they can build on for a lifetime, and help them to develop those desired qualities of hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence.

How was your potty training experience over all? Do share the lessons you learned with us below.

Jackie Leverton is the founder of Tot on the Pot. She and her husband combined their love for kids and family, to create fun and meaningful activities, driving them forward every single day. So in an effort to help moms and dads enjoy every minute with their kids (even the crappy ones), they spent years crafting the perfect play based solution that would actually make kids want to adopt the potty as part of their routine.

Storytelling: An Irish Tradition Set to Music

I watched an older couple get up to dance. It was difficult for her, age had stolen her flexibility and strength, but she was determined to dance her appreciation of the fiddle band up on the stage. Her gaze alternated between her husband and the ground, checking to see if she was getting the movements right. Her partner was spry, sporting a single diamond in one ear, a day’s grizzled beard growth and a grin. He held both her hands as he kicked up his heels and she tentatively tried a few steps, smiling at the man before her.

Nearby, two little girls in long, flowing dresses and ribbon crowns danced with a third child wearing an “I’m the real boss” t-shirt. Welcome to The Great American Irish Festival, where everyone can be a “weekend Irish” and all, regardless of age, ability or ethnicity are welcome. It’s an annual melting pot in the heart of New York wine country, and far away from everything at the Herkimer Fairgrounds.

#irishstrong

It’s said that music knows no boundaries and the adage seems to hold true at this three-day music and cultural festival held every year on the final weekend of July. Naturally, there’s food and drink. Haggis, anyone? Or perhaps a scone? And there are trinkets for those wanting to take a little of the festival home. But the real stars are the music and the stories, and they’re intertwined.

The Irish tell a good story.

This year, Colleen Searson told the story with her fiddle of a night at the top of a secluded stairway on the roof of a castle in Ireland. She spoke, then played and we could all see the black night and the stars, and feel the cool night air in After the Waltz. And the music had no words.

And then there was Joe Keane, the storyteller. Speaking in a soft voice, he told the story of the meanings behind the Celtic knot. It’s about infinity with no beginning and no end. He talked about the tree of life, and the seasons of the earth through an Irishman’s eyes. And he talked about the importance of strong roots, his fingers fanning downward and then upward with growth. It was an old story, but intense in the telling. Joe Keane made certain you were listening and understanding, watching carefully for a nod and smile. It was important to him that you understood.

What is magical about this particular festival, in this particular place, is the diversity.

While there are certainly a great number of Irish in attendance, there are also a number of “weekend Irish” that come for the day. They come to hear the stories, to dance, to laugh, to be part of a connected community for at least a little while. They learn a few words, they marvel at the range of the fiddle and they smile at strangers who smile right back.

The stories told are of the Irish, but they are also of everyone that has struggled and succeeded. And also of the ones that did not, because that is life. The brogue is sweet to the ear, and the stories are familiar. Off to war to fight for home and country. The loss of love. The road home. The heartbreaks and triumphs are universal, even if the language varies.

The message is simple: we are one.

The festival of the Irish is a call to connect, to respect traditions and to know the history of a people. As parents, exposing our children to these snapshots of other cultures and other people is vital to their education. Not only do we engage with folks we don’t know, and learn about our differences, we learn about how much we are alike. We connect.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.

Teaching Diversity To Our Kids

The Pew research center published an article last year about diversity pointing out 10 important demographic trends last year. One of the statistics stood out for me. It said” By 2055, the U.S. will not have a single racial or ethnic majority.”

We are raising our children in increasingly diverse society with representations from so many different cultures. The electorate, the work force, our education system are all going to be impacted. We will see people around with different ways of speaking, dressing, eating, praying and living. It is a massive opportunity to learn about each other and grow. We will essentially witness a rainbow of cultures, but we have to be ready to open our windows and step outside. What are some things we can do to make diversity an important part of our households?

Celebrate together

Festivals are important. Other than celebrating with our family and friends, we should raise awareness in our schools about each other’s festivals. For example, I realized fall is chock full of festivals from different cultures. It would be great to do a showcase of different cultures in school. Maybe a culture day to celebrate different festivals Rosh Hasanah, Diwali, Onam, Eid, Ashura, Thanksgiving to name a few. Check the calendar and stop by the school and see if you can talk to the classroom about your festival. Encourage other families from different ethnic groups to do the same.

Read together

Children are constantly looking at the books they read to form world opinions. Let’s give our children diverse material. There is no need to be pedantic about cultural topics. Sometimes simple books are the best conversation starters. If you have read ‘Last stop on Market Street’ by Matt De La Pena, you will know what I mean. The book teaches empathy and love in a way that is so easy and even fun for the children to understand. Ask your library to stock up with diverse books be it from your culture or other cultures you have been curious about.

Bond together

Make an effort to build connections with families from different cultures. We are always comfortable with the familiar, but we learn and grow by exposing ourselves to the new. Call your neighbors over be it for Chai and samosas or Coffee and Cake. Arrange for playdates with children from different communities. Just stop by and say hello to that person who just moved here from a different country. Let your friendships expand.

Travel wide

What better way to learn about different ways of living than actually seeing and experiencing it. Travel far and travel wide. Make it a cultural learning experience. Observe the trees, the houses, the churches, the temples and talk about similarities and differences. Try different foods, speak to the local people. Let your child always be curious.

Learn more languages

Keep your mother tongue alive. If you are a multilingual household, speak to your child in different languages. Don’t worry, children’s minds are like little sponges. They will have no problems communicating using multiple languages. Teach numbers in different languages, use basic words for food, colors and slowly build up. I need serious effort on this one myself!

What other ideas do you have to teach diversity to your kids?

Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love.

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA

Reach out to a Vilomah Remembering Their Lost Ones

Children playing enthusiastically in a playground…
Toddlers rushing to meet their parents after a day away at school…
Kids at a restaurant noisily playing with spoons and forks…
A kid throwing a tantrum in the neighborhood mall or grocery store…
Your child making a mess just to prepare a special mothers day card for you…
Your child running up to you and giving you a bear-hug with sticky fingers and hands…

We come across these situations so often that it is easy to visualize and be able to feel the enthusiasm, hear the noise and see the reactions in our minds. These are common everyday occurrences that we at times take for granted. There are many times we want the children to only be seen and not heard or not even be seen at times when we are in the midst of some important work or busy with our virtual world or just want the noise to quieten down.

We forget that there are some of us who long for a hug, a kiss, the noise, the love, the mess, but do not get it. They dream of holding a little one in their arms, or holding their hands, or teaching them something, but they can’t. They would sacrifice everything in a moment just to hear a sweet voice saying ‘Momma’.

But some dreams do not come true or were about to come true but at the last moment. The beautiful dream was shattered and the bubble burst and you are left with nothing but memories, tears, silent houses, deafening thoughts, empty arms, lifeless cradles…

The Loss Of A Grieving Family

Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child. Losing a child is an excruciating feeling and no matter how much time goes by, the loss and the feeling of loss never goes away. You are forever changed. Continuing your life without your little one is the new normal.

The loss of any loved one is extremely difficult to cope with. But to lose a part of you that you have created and were carrying for so many months while dreaming dreams of forever is all the more difficult, which is something that not many realize.

[bctt tweet=”Vilomah is a Sanskrit word that is being given to a parent who has lost their child.” username=”contactrwc”]

Pregnancy loss or infant loss is not easy to go through just because you never knew the child or spent so little time with them. The special bond that is created between the mother and the child is eternal and the mother, even if her child is no longer with her, is still a mother and still grieves for the child that was perfect in her eyes, that was taken away from her too soon.

She carried them and talked to them and shared all her dreams and fears with them. Her children had identities and characteristics; she knew their sleep patterns in her womb; what she could eat or drink to wake them up; when they would kick; when they would be most active; whose sounds would get them moving; what sounds would get them to calm down.

Fathers and siblings too feel the pain and the grief, even if they don’t express it and handle it differently. The family as a whole had built a dream around the little one and the loss reverberates across each member of the household. It is difficult for the other children to understand and come to terms with why their baby brother or sister is not coming home to them… Why they are not getting their promised playmates… Why their parents and other family members are so sad all the time…

I lost my firstborn twin son on the third day in April 2009. I told my daughter about her twin a few years back and she took it very matter-of-factly. Every now and then, she asks some questions about him or happily tells her friends about her brother in heaven and that she will meet him there.

October 15 – Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I wish more people would be empathetic towards vilomahs or parents who have lost their children and not want them to ‘get over it’ within a specific period. Everyone goes through their own healing process and needs love and support.

Reach out to someone who has gone through such a difficult time, talk to them about their child, about their feelings, show them that you care. Let them give a voice to the sorrow, the pain and the love that they have kept bottled up inside them. You might be surprised to know that they are eager to share about their angel in heaven and that they remember them every day.

It took me eight years before I finally used writing as a cathartic and therapeutic way of healing and wrote my first book. My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers)

Let us remember our little angels this October and find peace in the hope that we will meet our angels in heaven soon.

Rebecca Vijay is an author, mommy blogger, freelance editor and designer, with two young children and an angel in heaven. In a career spanning a decade and a half, she has worked in various industries such as advertising, hotels, NGOs, and publishing; and was heading a commissioning team in OUP when she took a break to spend time with her kids and explore ways to make a difference. She is working on her first YA novel and has published her first book – My Angel in Heaven: A Mother’s Journey through Death and Grief to Comfort and Hope (My God Delivers). – in the memory of her firstborn twin son and has contributed to an inspirational book that has been written by over 100 moms from around the world When You’re DONE Expecting: A Collection of Heartfelt Stories from Mothers All across the Globe. You can find her here. –

Advantages of Taking Time Out for Self Love

Empower Yourself This World Mental Health Day

Raising World Children is about celebrating different lifestyles, experiences and cultures. It is about what we all bring to this vast world table. Perhaps one thing world cultures share is a hesitation to discuss mental health.

World Mental Health Day aims to change that.

Mental health challenges know no borders.

In the United States, medical offices began offering questionnaires several years ago with the hope of helping those who didn’t even realize there was an issue. While this does provide a method of gathering information, it doesn’t go far enough. Eliminating the stigma surrounding any mental health disorder must come first. Enter World Mental Health Day. The overriding goal is to raise awareness of mental health issues, and mobilizing efforts in support of better mental health.

Established in 1992, this year’s 25th anniversary theme is Mental Health in the Workplace. Given that many folks spend a third (or more) of their day at work, addressing mental concerns there only makes sense.

Depression doesn’t always manifest with someone feeling sad and lonely.

It may show up through the back door in the form of a myriad of other ailments. While symptoms are addressed, the root cause can sometimes slip through the cracks, leading to a medical merry-go-round because we don’t think about the mental aspects of wellness. More than 300 million people worldwide live with depression. An additional 260 million experience debilitating anxiety.

What can we do? As a society embracing cultures across the globe, we can extend a hand. How?

Appreciate each other, and show your gratitude.
Foster a supportive environment.
Watch for early signs of burnout.
Build awareness of mental health issues and reduce the stigma.
Help each other.

What else can you do?

If you’d like to help, one of the best things you can do is to talk about mental health, to make it just like any other health concern that needs to be addressed. Mental health shouldn’t be spoken about in whispers; it should be given the same level of concern as any other condition that affects your overall health.

Want to know more?

Check out the 2017 World Mental Health Day report, better yet, sign the workplace pledge. Use #worldmentalhealthday. Add a banner to a social media profile. It all comes down to the same thing: raise awareness. Mental health issues don’t discriminate, and they don’t abide borders, or economic status. They hurt everyone equally. Raising awareness raises the opportunity for treatment.

For my children, and for yours, and for all the ones we’ll never meet, let’s work together to make everyone feel better about asking for the help they need.

And when you ask someone, “How are you?” really listen to the answer.

Gallery : Navratri Around The World 2017

Navratri Puja & Golu : Priya Manogaran

Navratri Puja : Submitted by Ritu Krishnatrey

Golu Celebrations : Submitted by Payal Raghuvanshi

Navratri Puja : Submitted by Puneet Punjaabi

How Does One Deal With Tragic Family History

Guide to Meditation & Fasting During Navratri

Navratri, literally meaning “9 nights” is the beginning of the fall harvest, the change of seasons. When we align our system to Nature, we rest in balance. We feel energized, light in our body, and ease in our movements. We will spend the nine divine days of Navratri honoring the victory of positivism over negativity. The victory is of the absolute reality over the apparent duality of self and consciousness.

Whether in silence or active in the world, spend just a few moments to honor yourself and body during these precious nine nights.

We will detox by taking some disciplinary actions like juice detox, khichidi detox, on fruit diet, one day at a time. Traditionally, these days include chanting of divine mother (Eg; Lalita Sahastra namam, Kadgamala, Devi Kavacham, etc), and fasting.

Today I will share my celebration of Navratri, that include bringing the mind, body and spirit in tune.

First Day

Self
Today is among the first three days of self-purification in which goddess Durga is worshiped in her terrifying, destructive and powerful aspect. We pray to the goddess to destroy our imperfections. We pray to make us pure.

Body
See where you can make shifts in your lifestyle habits that allow for your system to rest. Small changes make bigger results. Eat lighter, increase fruits and vegetables, increase water intake, sleep earlier or reduce time in front of the computer or TV. Rest to your digestive, and nervous system, and even eyes can go a long way. Set an intention for these nine days.

Mind
These nine day we will be practicing dissolve the discriminating ego, our judging intellect and our doubting mind into Divine Knowledge that makes us hollow and empty to come into awareness of Who Am I.

Second Day

Self
It is with the power of the above that we pray to destroy the negative tendencies of selfishness, jealousy, prejudice, hatred, anger, and ego we hold in our heart and mind.

Body
Eating foods that suit our constitution and are gentle to our system along with movement/exercise help to keep the whole body in balance. Proper digestion, and elimination are an important indicator of overall health and well-being.

Mind
Meditation, and journal writing are all effective ways of letting go of thoughts and emotions that do not serve us. Practice surrendering the events, thoughts and emotions to the divine which are not in your circle of influence, will help to see the shift in you.

Third Day

Self
We renew our commitment to acquire triumph over all of our negative tendencies.

Body
What works for one does not always work for another. Tapping into the wisdom of our own body gives us the guidance to know what works for us. Take note of the foods you eat, and how it makes you feel: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take note of sleep habits and your daily energy levels. This simple understanding of our body allows us to function optimally; we feel light and energized.

Mind
We attract prosperity and abundance and protect courageously the Inner Child to enjoy the journey in this body by dropping the cowardice and weakness.

Fourth Day

Self
The next three days, we move from self-purification to self- transformation. Our worship is now devoted to Goddess Lakshmi, the prosperity-bestowing form. Devotees pray for removing obstacles and bringing success in their paths.

Body
By changing bad habits to good ones come from putting attention on what is already working for you than trying to fix what is not.

Mind
Observe the transition of thoughts. Your thought and action affects your cosmos out there. The cosmos around you is what makes your world within you.

Fifth day

Self
Goddess Lakshmi does not merely bestow material prosperity, but also grants qualities which we as spiritual seekers require, namely calmness, peace, equanimity, compassion, and love.

Body
Today we take the opportunity to practice eating with awareness. So often we stuff food into our mouths while distracted, agitated or hurried. This diminishes the pleasure that food gives us and the nutrition it provides for the body. Take notice of the scent, texture, taste of your food while taking slow, gentle breaths. Place your fork down between bites. Eating with awareness is a form of love and compassion towards your body.

Mind
Surrender to the universe that bursts open with Universal Inspiration to create newness with every breath.

Sixth day

Self
Today is the third and final day which honors the Mother Divine as Lakshmi, the energy that manifests as the complete well-being of a person.

Body
In our diets, the more we eat from natural, whole food sources, the less we require in overall food intake. In our lives, the more we engage in activities of service and truth, the less we require in life. Keep food and life simple. Continue with yoga/ Exercise.

Mind
Observe the tendencies of mind clinging to the negativity, angry about the past and anxious about the future. Realize that you can drop them and can move forward.

Seventh Day

Self
We moved from self-purification to self-transformation and now we prepare ourselves to receive self-knowledge. Our prayer is devoted to Goddess Saraswati. She is the one who gives the essence (Saara) of the self (Swa), the one who gives the essence of self. She is the bestower of the true light of knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

Body
Keeping a gentle awareness of our body gives us the understanding of what foods best suit us, how much sleep gives us adequate rest, how much exercise or movement provides energy, and those activities that uplift our spirit. Take this knowledge of yourself as a toolbox for well-being. This toolbox and all the knowledge in it is yours, and it’s the duty of self-knowledge to always be there for you.

Mind
We surrender our doubting mind, judging intellect and Discriminating Ego to dissolve into recognizing and being whole and complete and balanced.

Eighth Day

Self
Today, we continue our worship for Goddess Saraswati. We first have to purify ourselves to get to the path of wisdom. Goddess Saraswati bestows the shakti (energy) to devotees so that they can attain knowledge.

Body
Take a moment in the day or just before going to bed to check in with yourself of physical and mental/emotional symptoms as indicators of what is going on in the body and mind. Physical symptoms are bodily sensations– Imbalance: heaviness, sluggishness, weakness. Balance: energy, stamina, steady breathing. Mental/Emotional symptoms are feelings, thoughts– : tense, restless, agitated. Balance: calm, relaxed, focused

Mind
In order to merge in to our pure self we release our weak self that attracts violence and abuse in any form.

Ninth Day

Self
Today is the final day which honors Goddess Saraswati. She is often depicted as being seated on a rock. Knowledge, like a rock, is steadfast support. She plays the veena, a musical instrument, which mellifluous notes bring harmony and peace to the mind. Similarly, spiritual knowledge brings relaxation and celebration to ones’ life.

Body
The nine days of Navratri gives us the opportunity to pause, reflect and reset our mind, body and self. With the help of the traditions, masters and powerful goddess energies, we set clear intentions, put forth attention and receive the biggest gift of all: knowledge of the Self. The simplicity of knowing the appropriate foods and exercise for our body and the correct practices for our mind brings assurance and the confidence that no other type of knowledge provides. With renewed energy and knowledge, we are able to move ahead.

Mind
In these nine days we dissolved into the divine by dropping the discriminating ego, judging intellect that separates us from others and conquering the doubting monkey mind. Let’s pray to the DIVINE MOTHER to keep us on this practice though out.

Happy Dussehra

The 9 days lead us to the celebration of Dussehra, the day of victory of Goddess Durga over the demon Mahishaasur. For the spiritual seeker, misery in the mind is the true fight or conflict. We dedicate our life to spiritual practices, service, Satsang (being with likeminded people) and knowledge as the way to overcome this conflict. We become victorious and feel full in celebration of life.

Wanting, Doing and knowing of the self are all manifestations of the same energy that is YOU. At any given time one of these will dominate.

When the ‘Wanting’ dominates then we will be experiencing sorrow and sadness.
When ‘Doing’ dominates then we will experience the anxiety and attachment to results.
When ‘Knowing’ dominates we will experience the awareness and happiness.

Last but not least when our ‘Wanting’ and ‘Doing; are dedicated to the highest good of society and to serve humanity our consciousness automatically elevate and self-knowledge will day.

Durgamadhavi Mamidipalli is a certified yoga teacher, Marma therapist, Relationship and Spiritual coach. In 2013, Durga took the leap of faith and founded Be Free Now LLC by leaving her flourishing career in corporate to do what she loves doing the best healing and serving the World. Through her coaching and other modalities she is able to assist others in getting in touch with their innermost being and through a deeper knowing within themselves, eventually feel empowered. The awakening love and joy they experience within themselves will continue to grow through sharing.” You can connect with her at www.befreecoaching.com https://www.facebook.com/befreecoachingandhealing/

Child-Friendly Herbs To Use For Sore Throats

In children aged between 5 and 15 viruses are responsible for approximately 70% of throat infections with the remaining 30% being caused by bacteria. Having a sick child can be as distressing for us as parents as it is for our patients. We often feel helpless, limited in our abilities to aid our children in their time of need. Stress and anxiety sets in and we often, unintentionally, transfer it to our already vulnerable offspring. The only source of assistance we are often able to come up with comes in the form of prescription or over-the-counter pharmaceuticals. While bacterial infections can be addressed through antibiotics, they will be useless against the viral infections.

Natural remedies for sore throats

As a society we have become increasingly aware of the possible side-effects main-stream medicine can have on our children. So what are we as parents to do? We do exactly what our grandparents and the generations before them did – we turn to herbal remedies for holistic healing. There are a variety of child-friendly herbal remedies available to ease the symptoms associated with sore throats. All you need to do is find the one that best works for your family.

Echinacea

Echinacea is one of the best-researched herbal remedies for colds, viruses and sore throats. It is most effective when taken at the first sign of a cold: the runny-nose and itchy-throat stage. When these symptoms present themselves you can start giving your child an Echinacea remedy three to four times a day (check the product label for specific instructions). Continue with the same dosage until the symptoms subside.

Elecampane

Elecampane is mostly sold in root form which will require you to boil it and disguise its bitter taste with some honey. If your young ones can’t stomach the taste you might want to source the capsules instead. It has an antibacterial effect and will soothe an inflamed throat as well as ease asthma. Although highly effective, elecampane should not be used by those suffering from diabetes.

Oregon grape root

Oregon grape root berberine is a potent bacteria killer, especially when it comes to strep throat. Like elecampane, this remedy is also bitter so capsules or glycerite form is suggested for children.

Lemon Balm

The volatile oils of lemon balm can destroy the bacteria that cause strep throat as well as a host of others causing cold and flu-like symptoms. Luckily this herb is sweet in taste so it can be added to any cup of healing tea for your ill child to drink.

Most sore throats and their associated symptoms will clear after a few days of using anyone or a combination of the above remedies. If you still have a sick child after 7 days or if severe symptoms like a high fever, vomiting or difficulty in breathing present themselves you need to seek urgent professional assistance. While most minor illnesses can be effectively treated at home we might need extra assistance from time to time when caring for our children.

Lucy Wyndham is a freelance writer and editor having previously spent over a decade working in the healthcare industry. When not working she loves nothing more than long walks in the country with her pet Labrador

Mahelana Rae Johnson Raising World Children

World of Raising Kids Who Write Creatively

Imbibing Generosity from My Grandparents

Raising World Children Giving — Photo by Spenser H on Unsplash

I’m sorry to bother you in your home, but if I don’t get something to eat today, I’ll probably die.” The man with torn clothes says to my cousin through the recently added mesh to the gate. The mesh is a hopeless attempt to keep the neighborhood cats out.

It’s a mid- summer 2017 in Tijuana, Mexico. The night has already curved into early morning. If you tilt your ear to the night sky, you can hear the music and the laughter of the city still at play. Our very rowdy children have finally been put to bed, after a day filled with exploring, and playing, and running around.

My cousin and I are outside enjoying some adult time and here is this man, in visible distress asking for food. He apologizes again, for daring to speak to us in our home, but we already know what to do.

My cousin tells the man to sit tight, and we quickly go into grandma’s kitchen. We heat up beans, pork stew and tortillas. There always seems to be enough food to share at grandma’s house. Maybe its because its summer and there are two families spending their summer there, or maybe it is because grandma is so used to sharing her excess.

There are to-go plates, disposable forks, bottled water, and fruit available. We send the man off with a hot meal and a blessing, anything that goes through grandma’s house is automatically blessed. That’s how things work at grandma’s house. The hungry get fed, and everybody gets prayed for.

A Culture of Giving

For my grandparents, sharing a meal with someone who crosses their path is easy. Community, religion and a life of service form an intricate part of the fiber of their lives. Grandma happily tells stories of the many times she’s had a house full of people.

She laughs as she describes how one day she woke up to a house full of young men. There were so many of them that they were sleeping in the hallways, as well as the couches, the rugs, and every part of floor you can imagine.

Apparently one of my uncles had left his boarding school to visit his mom and brought “some friends” along. His friends mixed with her other children, and their friends, and whoever else was over that weekend. She was happy to have them all there. Her children no longer show up with their friends in troves, but grandma is still a very central part of the community.

Every morning the octogenarian goes to Mass, which she describes as a party happening in her heart. She connects to God on a daily basis and then delivers communion to the sick and Lord-Bound. Her life long companion drives her around all morning and keeps her company as she visits each home.

They eat breakfast together and then they have their day. Sometimes grandma sits with grandpa while he plays solitaire, sometimes he gets her ice cream. Sometimes he watches tv with her as she knits her endless rounds, there’s lots to knit when you have lots of earth angels. This last summer grandma was knitting a cardigan for the youngest of her great-grandchildren. “The youngest for now” she says happily.

I hang out with my grandma for as long as I can, listening to her stories and accepting her love. There is a certain order to the home that has been functioning for over 60 years, an order that no amount of words can help establish, a rhythm and a beat that has a soothing quality about it.

I soak it in and learn the secrets, praying and hoping to one day have a home like that of my own.

Melissa Cota is a mom of three living on an Island. She often plays under the guise of Metzli writing Daily Intuitive Newsletters, Blog Posts and giving intuitive advice on Keen. Melissa loves reading and writing and sharpening her intuitive skills.

The Kindness Chain – Sneha Jhanb

Last week, we left microwave plastic in our oven by mistake and when we, without looking inside, turned the oven on, we had fumes waiting for us instead of a clean oven for a yummy chocolate cake to be baked.

As I grieved about the fumes, I was reminded of fumes that I had to breathe about 13+ years ago.

I lived in an apartment building in Chinchwad, Pune where my parents still continue to live. I do not remember that particular date but I do remember that the entire state of Maharashtra was without electricity that night.

Since we had nothing to do in the dark, we slept early that night, my mom and me, in my parents’ bedroom and my grandfather in his bedroom.

My father used to work in Mumbai during that time and my sister was here in the United States.

We were fast asleep when suddenly we heard my grandfather shouting and a bunch of more cries from some other people. Now, if you knew my grandfather, you would think he was at it again, shouting or lecturing at someone on the road, for doing something that they should not, like lighting the dry leaves or garbage on fire.

Trust me, you would not want to be a teenager living in my house. The sense of embarrassment during those days still makes me laugh and sometimes gives me goosebumps. Though if I look back now, most of the things he said makes sense to me as an adult, it was just the way he would convey it was not very right. But that is a topic for another day.

As I woke up wondering why my grandfather was shouting at someone in the middle of the night, I realized that I could not breathe. I used to wear lenses and I was not wearing them that day. My mom woke up with me and she realizes she could not breathe either. We both walked in different directions. Someone was banging the door and somehow she found her way to open the door. She was pulled outside.

I had gone to the door of the balcony. I went out and asked what the chaos was all about. Of course, the details are very hazy now but I found out that there was a mention of fire in my house. I remember panicking a little bit but mostly very calmly asking them to figure out how to take me out.

Then as I went back inside the house wondering where the heck the fire exactly was, someone took me by the hand and outside the main door.

As soon as I was out, my whole neighborhood was in front of me. Nearly 60 people were filling vessels of sand from a construction place nearby and throwing it one by one on our washing machine. Someone had called fire brigade twice. So now we had two fire engines working on putting fire out and helping my grandfather out who was trapped on the other side of fire with no outlet.

Lot of people were sitting on our apartment stairs and making sure we are ok, offering us water, a shoulder, etc. That night, we were offered a place to sleep by our front door neighbors which we said yes to.

Next day, when we looked at our house, the whole washing machine was burned down and the entire living room looked like it was painted with black soot. Other than that there was not much damage.

Life went by as usual and as it used to after that. My father and my uncle drove down from Mumbai and started handling the house renovation project. I am trying to remember what I did next day but I definitely think I took the day off from college.

I do not think we really know how the fire started ever, but to this date, I am very thankful to the neighborhood, for not thinking twice about the fire and pulling us out of our house.

This act of kindness is rare in today’s world and I am fortunate to be able to look back upon it and feel nothing else but gratitude.

National Eye Exam Month : Things are Clearly Different Now

Four-eyes. The ultimate insult to a fourth grader forty years ago. I squinted my way through third grade, but couldn’t see what the teacher wrote on the board, even from the first row. I’d meet up with friends during homeroom, note what they were wearing and identify them by the color of their clothing. Jeepers, creepers, I didn’t want any peepers.

Like it or not, my very first pair of glasses sported thin, golden octagon-shaped frames. On the ride home from the optometrist, I stared out the window, amazed at the individual blades of grass I could see. The world was no longer awash in soft focus. I could see clearly for the first time in years.

The Way We Were

Even though I was in the distinct minority in school, there were a few of us around. We wore gold or silver frames a la John Lennon or heavy plastic frames in earth tones. I even got first generation lenses that darkened in the sun. Sadly, they never really turned completely clear again so I resided in a sepia-toned world during my middle-school years.

Where’d You Get Those Glasses?

Flash forward a few decades and eye wear is both functional and fashion-forward. Some even choose to wear clear lenses with no correction just to get the look. You can be studious, or edgy or retro or anything you’d like. There are glasses that suit virtually any statement you’d like to make. Polycarbonate lenses, anti-reflective coatings, frames that twist like a pretzel without breaking. Not only beautiful, but strong too.

Although I wear contact lenses most of the time, I will confess to reveling in my tortoise-shell and baby blue RayBans, or the ones I’m wearing right now: green textured rectangles that look like fresh-cut wood. Gone are the days of one pair only. Glasses accessorize, sometimes glamorize and always make a statement.

Invisibly Corrected

Contact lenses got in on the fashion game as well. Back in the day, we were thrilled to get a single pair of lenses we wore for an entire year. We handled them cautiously as a torn lens meant glasses, even if you had PhysEd at school. Today, not only do lenses come in a rainbow of colors, some are meant to be worn just once and then tossed away. Forget wishing you’d be born with blue eyes, the reality is as easy as popping in a pair of soft lenses. Wish granted.

Leaving the Past Behind, For Good

Sometimes as adults, we have a tendency to wax nostalgic about the way things were. In the case of vision correction, I don’t yearn for the old days at all. The choices available now mean that my children see so much better (thanks to lightweight polycarbonate lenses) and they’ve never heard a derisive label regarding their imperfect vision. Further proof that different is simply different and that’s perfectly okay.

This month is National Eye Exam Month. If you’re having trouble seeing this beautiful world around us, schedule an exam. If glasses are in your future, rest assured you’re in good company. Jeepers, creepers, I love my peepers.

If you already have glasses, go ahead and share in the comments how your first days of wearing glasses was like.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.