Powerful Life Lessons Celebrating Holi Teaches Every Kid

Powerful Life Lessons Holi Celebrations Teach Every Child

by with 13 Comments festivalsHeritageIndiaParentingVoices

This festival of colors brings a tinge of happiness when people think the celebration of Holi. We often forget the many life lessons the Holi celebrations teach our children.

Growing up I played Holi a handful of times. Once when I was ten and we threw balloons and glasses full of water on passers by from the terrace of a cousin’s home. Once in Bhopal at age 11, when my cousin applied so much silver paint on me that it took my mom 2+ hours of rubbing before all the colors came off!

Then twice during college when my friends and I threw colors and eggs on each other. And I pretended to get drunk on Bhang Lassi and scared the living daylights out of my friends who had never seen a person high!

You find that people either love this festival or hate it, depending on how their childhood memories are with the celebration. If they were roughhoused with, they usually prefer to not play growing up either. Owing to my life as an immigrant I didn’t have many opportunities to be scarred!

Significance of Holi in North Indian Culture

Holi in Nothern India is celebrated to mark the advent  of spring with the flowers beginning to bloom. The many colors in the air reflect the bloom around you.

The meaning of Holi has it’s origins in two stories. And both carry a lot of meaning for most Hindu families, specially to strengthen the bond between couples. One is of the love of Radhna Krishna, whose love is eternal and renowned for being full of naughtiness. The other is the story of Prahlad whose demon father time and again forced him to renounce his love for God Vishnu and pray to him as God.

Celebrating Holi in My Home

This festival of love actually became a tradition after marriage as my husband and I religiously celebrate. This is perhaps one of the most no fuss celebrations as all you need is colors.

Kids like all things, added so much more meaning to our celebrations.

I remember vividly the first times my son and daughter applied color to my face. It was a feeling like no other!

 

life lessons holi
Copyright Aditi Wardhan Singh

Since my son turned 2, every year our celebrations have only gotten grander and bigger with more of our friends being included as our family grew from two to four. The festival has only grown in splendor, laughter and grandeur.

I often have a potluck party at my home with my friends and we apply color to each other. If possible, we also serve the special drink called thandai (the non intoxicating version). The kids specially those who are not maybe North Indian get a kick out learning about this festival. Some also get scared but the results are always hilarious!

The night before Holi is Holika Dahan, where we are supposed to light the bon fire. It is hard to do that here in USA but in a few years, I hope to celebrate this aspect with a firepit.

Since the past three years we have been going to the local temple to celebrate with friends as well. We dance on Indian film music and enjoy the revelry. Throwing and applying colors on strangers who, on this day, treat us like their best friends.

 

7 Simple Ways Children Everywhere Can Enjoy the Festival of Holi

Life Lessons Holi Teaches In A Multicultural Environment 

Holi is celebrated around the world, not just on this day but all year round as “Color Run”. There are many reasons this beloved festival has grown on the people of the world. It is wonderful how most festivals provide unique opportunities to teach kids about life. 

It is celebrated today not just by North Indian Hindus but by everyone who enjoys celebrating life in all it’s colorful glory!

[bctt tweet=”Celebrated around the world, Holi is a wonderful festival teaching kids powerful life lessons in today’s multicultural environment. #parenting #indianfestivals ” username=”contactrwc”]


GOODNESS AND FAITH ARE PARAMOUNT

I read the story of Prahlad every year. We watch videos and make sure the kids understand what both of these mean in today’s lives. The story might be mythological but when explained in today’s context, kids learn about how often bad influences affect us and we need to have faith in our own principals to carry us through. Life lessons holi teach us are very profound.

EVERYONE IS EQUAL 

I make sure to explain to my kids that the meaning of Holi is to show that once color is applied everyone is the same. The skin color of all becomes the same and we all are equal in all manners. Once you have children, specially this significance evolves also to one of acceptance and love.

ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

The Holi festival as I mentioned has evolved. There was a time when people used to get really dirty throwing mud and eggs or worse but with time with repeated dos and don’ts discussed today everyone who celebrates does so in an environmentally healthy way.

This is a great time to teach kids about why using organic colors is important.

BE KIND TO ANIMALS

I tell them how Holi used to be celebrated where many people would hurt animals by applying color to them or throwing them in water. How important it is to not do the same and to always, always think of the consequences of your festivities on animals.

NO MEANS NO

Many people, specially in India, choose to remain locked indoors for everyone knows if you go out you are bound to end up with color on your face or wet clothes!

If someone doesn’t like to celebrate, you should not put color on them. This applies to many other aspects of life where someone might not want to indulge in something they enjoy. An important lesson in today’s world.

STRANGERS AREN’T ALL SCARY

The best part about Holi is this festival is everyone plays it with equal enthusiasm. Even if you go to the a place where it is celebrated not knowing anyone, you are greeted like a friend and get colored just as if people already knew you. Your faith in humanity gets restored with that much positive vibes going around.

It is a wonderful time to step out of your comfort zone. Under the watchful eyes of parents, many kids open up to having fun with people they have just met.

life lessons holi
Copyright Aditi Wardhan Singh
GETTING MESSY IS FUN

My kids usually hate getting their hands dirty. They have gotten so used to using wipes that often things are icky. This day allows kids today, in the spin and span, sanitized environments to let lose and get messy.  It teaches them it is okay to get dirty. This is the only festival where the dirtier you are is reciprocal to the amount of fun you have had. 

After all, life is very messy and it is important to know when to enjoy the it and when to purge the mess!

SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT

There is a great amount of prep that goes into preparing to play Holi. . Wear sunglasses and shut your eyes whenever someone is applying color on you.  Oiling your hair or Wear old full sleeved and full length clothing to give your skin maximum protection from the colors.

Even when indulging in foods and the sweet milk drink, it is important to use moderation in everything you do.

EVERY LOVING RELATIONSHIP HAS ROOM FOR LAUGHTER

In Holi when you play pranks on your loved ones and friends, it is a great way to teach kids how to not take themselves and those they care about seriously. How not to get offended on silly little jokes and that there is always room for naughtiness and laughter in a loving relationship.

Childrens Books COnfidence Aditi
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Find out ALL about HOW anyone can celebrate this festival easily HERE  – Crafts | Books | Songs | Experiments

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What is your Holi celebration like? Do you have a temple near you that celebrates? Are you going to celebrate with your kids this year? Are you going to share the … 

What is the significance of Holi? What do kids learn from celebrating Hoil? What is the Festival of Holi ? Family | Celebration | Indian Festivals

Growing Up A Vegetarian In A Meat Eating Family

Growing Up A Vegetarian In A Meat Eating Family

by with 17 Comments AmericaFoodVoices

As a young child, I ate what the rest of my family ate which included meat. I didn’t love meat, but I ate as my family ate; until one day when I was told what meat really was and from that point on, I began growing vegetarian in a meat-eating family.

Some kids go through a shock phase when they realize meat is animal muscle, and most just shrug it off and go on eating it. Other kids may be slow to revisit eating meat once they know, and then there are kids like me who struggled to push meat into their mouths after finding out how it got to the table.

Why I Became Vegetarian

I can tell you the exact moment I fully realized what meat was and where it came from. I was in fifth grade and we had friends over to the house. We were having ground beef tacos and I casually asked what meat was to no one in particular.

My mom’s friend looked at me incredulously. “Why it’s animal muscle,” she said with a nod of her head.

My mother looked up from her mixing bowl on the counter and sharply said, “Don’t tell her that!” She gave her friend the look.

I shrugged because I didn’t know what else to do. They thought I was fine with it.

But, I wasn’t fine.

As a child, from that point on, eating meat was a giant struggle for me. My feeling was that if I ate the animal’s muscle, I was stealing from it. I didn’t want to steal its life, I loved animals too much to do that.

The other contributing factor to my emerging vegetarianism was my issues with the texture of meat, especially pork and even ground beef.

I attempted, very poorly, to eat meat for the next three years, but became a full vegetarian in eighth grade. It was a slow progression for me and pork was the first to go, beef next, then chicken, then turkey, and lastly, I gave up fish.

What is it like to grow up vegetarian ? Read Julie's Story about Growing Up In A Meat Eatiging House hold | Vegetarian | Meat Eating

My Journey Growing Vegetarian in a Meat Eating Family

It was not easy being a child vegetarian in a meat-eating family. My dad would ask me at every dinner meal for many years if I wanted the meat. He couldn’t accept my vegetarianism.

He continued to pass the meat platter to me, but I always declined it!

My mother on the other hand reluctantly accepted my meatless diet, but as a mom and a nurse, she struggled with fears that I would not get enough protein.

My mother would frequently voice her concerns about what to make for me. I had committed her to the mom life sentence of a short-order cook with my dietary change, so I bought her a skinny paperback vegetarian cookbook. I was so proud of my plan because I knew it would relieve some stress for her by giving her some ideas of what to make for me.

Dairy products were my savior as a child. I felt they were okay to eat because they weren’t a part of the animal, but a by-product. I was ok with that so I became a full-fledged lacto-ovo vegetarian by consuming dairy products.

My dad was always bothered by my second glass of milk at dinner and I always heard my mom shush him as I headed to the fridge to fill up my cup mid-meal. She knew I needed protein and she didn’t want me to be malnourished, so she encouraged my milk drinking.

It was hard for me as a child to eat something different than everyone else around me. I grew up in the Midwest where our town was surrounded by farms. Not eating meat was a huge culture deviation, and I was the unlucky deviant having to explain myself to everyone around me. It was unheard of to not take the meat as most people viewed it as the only important part of the meal and the rest was fluff.

The fluff was exactly what I wanted of the meal; I wanted the vegetables, the bread, the nuts, the fruit, the eggs, and the cheese. I didn’t like the texture of tofu so that was not an option for me, plus I didn’t love beans. They weren’t the right texture for me either.

Growing Vegetarian - Raising World Chlidren

Eating Out

Going out to eat was a challenge and going to parties was difficult too because meat consumption was integral to the community. We all talk about what we will eat and when we will eat it. Food is mega important to all cultures and unfortunately, I was the outcast in my childhood food culture, and a voluntary one at that.

Everyone seemed obsessed with what I would eat all the time. It was a constant topic of conversation that seemed unnecessary to me and I didn’t like the limelight. No one ever made a big deal about someone not eating the lettuce or potato salad, but my not eating the burger at grilling parties, well, that needed to be talked about, commented on, and sometimes even ridiculed.

As a child, I never judged the meat-eaters, so I constantly wondered why they judged me.

Being treated that way taught me not to judge others and to respect that everyone has the right to make their own choices. I developed a deep respect for freedom of choice which also taught me tolerance.

My mother never forced me to eat meat, which I was always thankful for, so I’ve come to parent my own children the same way. I let them choose and offer healthy alternatives if they don’t want a part of the meal.

As an adult, I’m still the one who is different because most people in my region do eat meat. However, I’ve learned so many ways to compensate, modify, and survive that it has become normal to me to be different.

Mine is not a deviant way of life; it is my norm. 

Are you are vegetarian? What are your struggles? 

About my cookbook:

I married a man who eats meat and my children eat meat, so I began making recipes I call hybrid recipes where there is a meatless and a meat-containing portion to the meal to feed us all from one recipe. It’s easy, it’s just a matter of being mindful while cooking.

I began to realize there are more families like mine out in the world who are composed of members with different diets. This brought me to create my cookbook to help families like mine who are composed of vegetarians and meat-eaters. I also wrote the book to help parents of children who either are vegetarian or who are considering vegetarianism. I sincerely hope my book helps families have more enjoyable and smoother meals together.

 

 

Julie Hoag is a writer and blogger. She is a wife and mother with a history working as an RN prior to being a SAHM. She is honored to be published on the Huffington Post, Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, The Mighty, Perfection Pending, Manifest Station, Sammiches & Psych Meds, and more in addition to her own blog juliehoagwriter, where she writes about family/motherhood/kids, recipes, family travel, DIY, and pets.

 

How To Talk to Kids About Dangers At School

How To Talk to Kids About Dangers At School

by with 7 Comments AmericaContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

Thanks to the existing environment, there has become a constant fear among parents of what to tell their kids and how much. Every topic seems to be far reaching and hard to discuss.

This is an unexpected time we have come to. From being a parent who talks to their kid about every aspect of life to not knowing what to say. My 7 year old son’s school recently had a lock down incident. No one was  in danger according to school but the world lock-down itself sends chills down us parents’ spines.

Our local high school’s pep rally was cancelled because some kid decided to threaten some others on social media. Many kids did not go to school for fear of danger.

“What do you tell kids when they say that they are scared to go to school? “, Jasmine Turner of Nbc12 news channel asked me.

Aditi Wardhan Singh on Nbc12 Talking About How To Talk to Kids About Dangers and School Shootings At School

My Answer

How to Talk to kids About School Shootings | Talking to Kids About Dangers At school | having Difficult conversations with kids

For all kids, first ask them what they know. ? Start by asking what your child/teen already has heard about the events from the media and from friends. Listen carefully; try to figure out what he or she knows or believes. Even if you yourself do not discuss with the kids, often they will have friends who tell them what is going on. Be aware of what your child knows and how they are processing the information.

As your child explains, listen for misinformation, misconceptions, and underlying fears or concerns. Gently correct misconceptions and wrong notions. 

“What You Are Feeling Is Real”

No matter what the emotion, you need to accept it. And work through it. Talk about it. Take the time to process it. Even if it is just fear. You cannot deny that we need to accept that the fear of being in danger is a very personal and real fear and every kid can feel it. Not just you, every child in the school feels the same feelings at different times. And every parent of that child feels the same. It’s okay to be scared.

“You Cannot Let Fear Stop You” 

Fear can have the capacity of paralyzing you. You have to overcome this anxiety. We cannot let the fear of the unknown ruin our today or the possibility that today brings for us. Every moment, every step holds an unknown. But most of our lives is in our hands.

“If You See Something If You Say Something”

The times have changed from tattling to standing up for what is right. You can provide important information that may prevent harm either directly or anonymously by telling a trusted adult what you know or hear.

If you see a friend being bullied or a kid left behind (metaphorically), stand by them. Be there for someone who has no one. If you notice someone who you feel might need professional help, or that makes you uncomfortable or fearful tell your teachers or parents. If you see someone threatening something on social media, bring it to the attention of an adult.

“Be Responsible On Social Media”

When you share something online, it is there for everyone to see. And can be traced back to you. It is not just fun. There are certain guidelines you should follow when posting something online and remember that there are serous consequences to saying or posting offensive material online. Cyber bullying is hurtful. Your connections online are real people with real feelings. When you put hurtful things out there remember they not just affect those reading them, but also those around them who care for them.

“Be more kind now than ever before” 

One of the main reasons of these happenings right now is because there are kids out there who do not feel loved. The world needs love. All most people need ever is to know they are cared for and appreciated. That is sorely lacking in the world today and it is more important now than ever to bring our A game forward in being generous with our kindness and filling others’ buckets.

“Always keep gratitude in your heart”

Let’s take the time to go over everything that we are thankful for today. Appreciation for what we have, helps us take stock of what all we have achieved and all those we hold dear.

“Let’s review safety precautions” 

Here I suggest reading our previously published piece on how to empower kids against tragedy. Also, ensure you ask them what they have learned at school.

Often school procedure has many simple yet effective techniques that can be applied at home or outside home/school. This also helps re iterate your belief in the school system and it’s safety. Kids, after all foremost need to believe the school is a safe haven after all.

A few side notes to the above would be

  • As always, encourage questions and keep the lines of communication open. Make time to talk about these difficult issues as well.
  • Limit Television viewing of the such tragic experiences.
  • Talk about the consequences of use of guns and violence in general.
  • Be a positive role model for the younger generation to follow.
  • Stick to your normal routine. Do not let fear seep into your life.
  • Adults, pay attention to the cues your children give you!

 

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

School Shootings : Stop The Negligence Already!

School Shootings : Stop The Negligence Already!

by with 10 Comments AmericaContemporaryParentingVoices

Yet another school shooting, scrolling through the news lying next to my peacefully sleeping baby I read this horrific news! 

A chill ran down my spine and I felt the pain that I had never felt before for the parents who lost their precious children. I could feel holding my baby close to myself as if trying to secure him from an evil that may jump out of this news piece.

Growing up I was taught that school is my second home. Like my home I not only learn new things at school but also can feel completely safe. Reading through this news and all the other news about school shootings or stabbing be it US, or India or Pakistan or any other country for that matter has made me realize, what I was taught, what I always believed in is not true anymore.

A school might have been safe for me but it is not a safe haven for my child anymore.

Right before I started writing this article I was listening to the interview of a mother who lost her 14 year old daughter in the Parkland Florida school shootout. She was crying and pleading to the president to make the guns rule stricter in US and making schools more secure for children.

She said she spent last 2 hours preparing for the funeral of her beloved daughter. Daughter who she gave birth to, daughter she nurtured for 14 years, daughter she loved to pieces, daughter who will never come back again.

Get To The Root of The School Shootings

Since 2010 there have been 146 different incidents of gun use within school premises alone in US, some of them were open fires and included not only students but teachers too. Out of these 146, 8 incidents have been notified only in 2018 and we are sitting in February the entire year is left to be seen.

Everyone seems to ask the same question why doesn’t government of the strongest country on this planet passes a simple law so that guns do not reach just anybody and everybody. And everyone also knows the answer to the same question that is NRA’s spending power in every election campaign is enormous. Every government throughout the world is overpowered by some or the lobby which is understandable as money matters but is it more important than lives of our little children.

Every time I think of the shootings inside a school campus the first thing that comes to mind is what if it was someone I knew what if it was someone of my own, and that makes me wonder have our politicians become so ruthless that they have lost the power of questioning, what if?

Keeping this thought aside I also tend to wonder that America being the strongest economy of the world doesn’t spend enough money to secure the school campuses, why? If the gun lobby is strong enough and it’s not easy to pass a law against it than that same gun lobby that spends millions towards helping a person winning an election or voting against a bill can be forced to secure the school and college campuses.

But than I thought to myself would that solve the issue, the answer was obvious ‘NO’. The constitution exists to empower the government to give a better life to a country’s citizens not a better life to a select few. All because a select few have spent money to help you win the election does not give you or them a right to play with the lives of those who believed in you and voted for you expecting better life for themselves. The basis of The constitution is right to life, how can monetary benefit take that away.

What makes this tragedy exponentially sad is that it is born of negligence and ignorance.

No one is asking the government to shut down gun manufacturers. 

The only demand everyone has, every concerned parent has to please make sales of guns more responsible, make  and make school campuses safer by putting up adequate measures. For strict background and mental health checks. 

Not only our children deserve the best education but also safe education. Please stop sacrificing our innocent children for a few bucks.

We talk about our kids being empowered but first and foremost it is our job as a collective society of adults to protect them. We cannot control the world, but we can take measures to make sure our children are safe. This choice is being taken away from parents as guns are made easy to get. And automatic guns at that!

Children are our future, they are precious. I pray for all the families who lost their children and hope this time at least few from the political class would have a change of heart and wonder ‘what if that was my child in that school…?’

What is causing school shootings? Taking part in the school shootings debate. Asking for strict background checks for guns.

 Vinni Mishra Raising World Children Vinni Mishra is a corporate professional presently residing in Glen Allen, Virginia. She originally belongs to Jaipur, Rajasthan (India). She completed her masters degree in geography from Rajasthan University. She started her career as a corporate professional pretty early around the age of 18 with GE Capital and was until very recently working with Suntrust Mortgage in Glen Allen. She is an expectant mother and is enjoying her time off from work awaiting the new member to her family. She has a passion for writing and her writing is influenced by the rich culture of Rajasthan which is famous for its traditions and heritage that have been passed along generations.
How Valentine's Day Became My Every Day Why

How Valentine’s Day Became My Every Day Why

by with 18 Comments ContemporaryfestivalsMindsetValentinesVoices

I was 18 and had been in an “on-again-off-again” relationship for a few years. On Valentine’s Day of my senior year, we were “off again.” I was bitter, sad, felt like a loser, and wanted to cancel the day altogether.

Until something shifted.

A few days before the big day, I got the idea to research the history of Valentine’s Day and St. Valentine. I wanted to explore deeper than the facade that Hallmark and Hollywood sell us. I was desperately searching for a way to turn my hurt and self-consciousness into something new and more beautiful.

While reading up, I came to the conclusion that Valentine’s Day is a commercially created holiday, and that St. Valentine likely wasn’t an advocate for only romantic love, but all love. I decided that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about loving out loud, telling the ALL of the people I love that they are special to me, and celebrating the collective love for humanity.

 

 

I dug deeper than my pain and recognized that I had lots of love that I needed to express on Valentine’s Day (and beyond), and I needed a new way to connect, rather than disconnect in shame, sadness, and isolation.

This day couldn’t be about teddy bears, roses, and chocolate from a boyfriend or a crush. To me, Valentine’s Day needed to be an expansion of the definition of love and a broadening of who and how we love.

Thus, my next idea… I decided that it would be most meaningful to show love to people in our society who are often forgotten or overlooked: those experiencing homelessness.

I got my mom in on the whole idea, and we quickly got started making Valentines by hand with doilies, glitter, stickers, and markers; albeit still a bit commercial, handmade cards were a joyful tradition that my mom shared with me and my sister.

Along with each Valentine, we would hand out a treat. We decided on donuts.

 

 

On the morning of Valentine’s Day, mom and I drove downtown in my hometown, Albuquerque, New Mexico, to deliver little bits of love and sugary hugs to people who were living without a steady, stable home.

We received so many smiles and appreciations, and we ran out of supplies quickly. The sensation of being present with another, sharing a moment, and acting on the principle that everyone deserves love was powerful and transformational!

Again, something BIG shifted.

 

CELEBRATING VALENTINES DAY IN MY EVERY SINGLE DAY

From that February 14 on, Valentine’s Day became my favorite holiday. I’ve been known to host Valentine’s craft parties, my mom often ships me a box full of love and treats, and I often share about this memorable, perspective-shifting experience from my senior year of high school– my search for love and meaning in the world.

I must admit that I still partake in some of the commercial elements of the holiday, but my philosophy about the holiday comes from a place of authentic love, rather than expectation. This is what I hope to share with you and even more so with your teenagers who may be feeling pressured, depressed, expectant, or even excited about the stereotypical ideals of this holiday.

Over time, my love for the holiday grew, and I eventually named my commitment to live in love: Valentine’s Day Everyday, a movement.

 

 

What started as a desire to heal myself became one of my biggest WHYs– the reason I keep showing up and the reason I want to live another day: to notice love, to live in love, and to create love. Not just one day out of the year, but every day!

HOW YOU CAN MAKE EVERY DAY VALENTINES DAY

I’ve made it part of my life’s mission to tell people I love them. I’ve committed to noticing and observing love around me and appreciating it. Whether it’s a heart-shaped hole in the sidewalk, a lost and found love note, or witnessing a mother hugging her toddler, I want to know love.

And it’s not just the nicely packaged things that are love. It’s dropping my breakfast on the way out the door (when I’m already late), the basket of laundry waiting for me to fold it, and the meltdown my tween client is having that reveal what love is and teaches me how to love freely and fiercely.

 

Valentine’s Day Every Day is about looking at ALL experiences through the lens of love. Responding from a place of love and staying open to all forms of love.

 

I invite you to take on this mission and make it your own. How can you live each day as if it were Valentine’s Day for everyone?

 

 

WHAT YOU CAN DO  TODAY

Below are a few ideas that you might like to try as you get started on living Valentine’s Day Every Day:

  • Snuggle with your partner a little longer.
  • Pack an “I love you” note in your child’s lunch box.
  • Pay for coffee for the person in the drive-through behind you. Or the car in the toll booth line.
  • When you see something– a book or knick-knack or greeting card– that reminds you of a friend or family member, buy it for them. Don’t wait until a holiday or their birthday to gift it.
  • Hand out snacks or water to people who are experiencing homelessness.
  • Text a friend you haven’t heard from in a while, simply expressing what you love about them or sending a virtual hug.
  • Make a meal for a friend who has been sick or tired or stressed out.
  • Gift yourself the chocolate or flowers you look at with desire. You are worth it!
  • Write a love letter to a stranger!
  • Make a handmade card or collage for a friend or family member— just because.
  • Pick a flower and pass it to the next person you see.
  • Leave a positive affirmation somewhere where another person will find it– inside of a book, on a chair, on a signpost, etc.
  • Look for hearts in nature. (You’ll find soooo many!)
  • Write a poem for someone you love.

Have ideas? Go for it! Whatever comes up is authentic and real for you. Show that love to yourself, others, and the world.

Find Out How Every Day is And Can Be Turned Into Valentines Day | Love | Family | Joy | Be With Family On Valentines Day

 

If you’re looking for accountability as you integrating this mindset into your life and your family, let’s chat! As a Child-Centered Coach for parents and teens, I work with clients to build their lens of love, and I would be honored to support you and your children on the journey. As an online Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports tweens, teens, and young adults in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating and offers an online membership for parents of tweens and teens. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/ and https://courtneylynnharris.wixsite.com/mysite

 

 

Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

by with 21 Comments EmpowermentMindsetParentingVoices

Do you remember the old song written by Johnny Mercer and performed by Bing Crosby?

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

Maybe Mercer had the right idea. Maybe focusing on the positive would help us be more effective parents, better friends, and happier people overall.

There is a parenting method whereby parents praise good behavior (“I love the way you are sharing with your sister”) rather than focusing just on negative behaviors (“Stop being mean to your sister!”). I’m oversimplifying, but the general idea is that kids act badly to get attention. If acting in positive ways gets more attention, they will engage in more positive behaviors and fewer negative behaviors.

[bctt tweet=”Engaging in positive behavior is encouraged by encouragement on positive actions. Here are ways to help them accentuate the positive in their life. ” username=”contactrwc”]

You can find out more about the positive approach to parenting by clicking on this article of Positive Discipline Tips and another one about Reinforcing Positive Behavior at Home.

How I Apply It

Does it work? In my experience, it does, as much as I am able to apply it. When I remember to focus on my kids’ positive behaviors, they do seem to work harder to get my attention by “showing off” good behavior. The biggest challenge is remembering to make a big deal out of the positive behaviors. It’s so much easier to notice the bad ones, especially when I am tired and overwhelmed (and let’s face it, that is most of the time!). One of my goals this year is to proactively encourage the behaviors I want to see rather than reacting to the behaviors that make me crazy.

As I’ve been thinking about this parenting approach, I’ve started to contemplate how it could work in different areas of life. For instance, what if we applied this philosophy to media coverage? What would happen if we only covered stories in which people engaged in positive, life-affirming behavior?

Immediately, I can think of one drawback. Bad behaviors, like sexual harassment, would continue to occur because no one would alert the public to the problem. Those types of issues would remain secret, and victims would be robbed of their powerful voices.

Knowing that it isn’t feasible to only report the good stuff, let me just indulge in a happy news fantasy. If most of the world’s journalism focused on the great things people around the world do for others, would people be even more likely to do great things? Would world leaders fight harder to achieve world peace and end hunger and violence if those were the only actions journalists covered?

Most importantly, would our children benefit from being presented with positive models of behavior they can emulate rather than adults who indulge in base human instincts? Whenever we read the news, we see hatred, violence, and self-indulgence. As parents, we are presented with a huge opportunity—and mandate, even—to seek out content that uplifts, that affirms life, that provides models of positive ways of interacting.

I encourage all of you to try, for at least a week, to focus on the positive. Talk to your kids about news stories involving people acting in amazing, kind, and life-affirming ways.

And let’s talk about gossip: we all do it, and it has been proven to play an important role in society, reforming bullies and encouraging cooperation. Let’s try something different, though. Instead of talking about people in negative ways, let’s “gossip” about all the good things people do, as in, “Have you seen Aditi’s blog, Raising World Children? Isn’t it amazing how hard she works to help foster tolerance and love?”

Try focusing on the good stuff for a week. Then let me know how it goes. How do you feel when you talk about only life-celebrating news? How do your kids respond to hearing more about positive behaviors?

When talking about positive news, Prof. Tal Ben-Shahar says, “Positive information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.” We need good news to thrive. Do you feel happier when you take in more positive information?

To help you accentuate the positive, I leave you with some websites that share only the good news.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-neumann/15-uplifting-sites-focuse_b_1297094.html

http://www.adweek.com/digital/7-positive-news-sites-to-cheer-you-up/

https://www.walkbrightly.com/

Simple ways to teach your kids to highlight the positive aspects of life. An important way is to do it yourself. Here is how !

And here are some lists of children’s books that inspire. They may not all be about good things, but they all celebrate the difference a person can make in the world:

50 Inspiring Children’s Books With a Positive Message

8 Book Recommendations for Happy Kids

6 New Picture Books Enjoy Wonder

  Catherine Brown loves to write happy, life-affirming stories about ordinary people doing amazing things. She also writes about parenting and education to help readers learn from experts how to make their lives just a little bit better. Every day, she strives to be a kind and loving friend, partner, and mom…some days are better than others! You can find her at writehappy.net, on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/writehappy.net/, and on Twitter, @catwritehappy.

Are You Treating Your Girls "Less Than" Boys?

Are You Treating Your Girls “Less Than” Boys?

by with 6 Comments EmpowermentMindsetParentingVoices

“Girls are not the same as boys.” I believe in this.

Not in what they can achieve. But in the fact that both have their own strengths. But as far as rights go, as humans every single human has the right to choose and BE as they wish.

Yet, time and again I see people differentiating in what girls “can” and “cannot” do. In Indian culture, there has always been a big difference in the way girls are treated from boys. From serving them, to being protected to what they have to wear to what time they have to be outside, Indian women are often shown that they are less than.

The difference is reducing in today’s times. But once married, the difference still exists colossally within the Indian society.

The #metoo conversation brought forth to my mind how many people talk about the need for better parenting. To teach kids that both boys and girls are equal. Yet, there are so many subtle ways that girls are suppressed or presumptions they have to overcome.

So, I delved into the online space and asked women around the world to talk about a time in their childhood when they experienced feeling less than or having to overcome being put down. 

ONE 

“My parents raised me like a boy for the first 10 years as an only child but when my brother came and as I got older my parents’ worry of me irked me. It was not the same for my brother. Or my cousins. In my teenage years, relatives would pass comments about my marriage way earlier than it needed to be talked about. It was not the same for the boys in the house hold. “

— Find out more about Aditi Wardhan Singh 

TWO

” I would say when girls are just overly protected off the bat. I was never allowed to stay home alone with my brothers. Or I was not allowed to date until I was 16 but my brothers were. It’s a standard of boys aren’t to be trusted so we have to protect our girls more so then the boys…. great post idea. “

— Find out more about Sarah Church Caroll

THREE

My grandfather just passed away and all the grandsons and grandson-in-laws were asked to be pallbearers. Just the first thing that came to my mind living in the 21st century and still having those gender differences. All the granddaughters were not included.

— Find out more about Ashley Peggs

FOUR

When boys would pull my hair or be mean to me when we were all little, I was always told it was just because they liked me. I associated meanness with affection. I grew up spouting off that same stupid, misguided notion to other girls, unfortunately. Whenever a boyfriend treated me bad, I always had this thought, “well, he loves me so it’s okay.”
Or when I witnessed my dad disrespecting women and putting them down, I was told by my grandma that he did it out of love. The lesson of “it doesn’t matter how guys treat you as long as they love you” was very pervasive in my childhood.

— Find out more about Lisa Keifer

FOUR

When I asked my dad to teach me how to fix cars, he said no because I was a girl. I pushed and he gave in and was stunned to see I had a natural talent for it. Then I ended up in architecture school which at that time was 10% women. I had a teacher tell me that women didn’t belong in architecture because I had asked a question he deemed stupid. I didn’t want to be an architect after that. I became a graphic designer and ended up in the printing industry where I was sexually harassed all the time. I’m good at math, engineering, computers, fixing things… And I have been told over and over that I have strange talents for a girl.

I have two boys and they are being raised to see everyone as equal. Since I don’t get the chance to raise a confident girl, I can at least raise boys who see them as equals.

— Find out more about Bonnie Landau Weed

FIVE

When I was growing up, it was expected for my sister and I to help in the kitchen with dinner and clean up. My younger brother did not have the same expectation. This expectation still happens now. Last week we were on a family vacation and my mom was putting a roast in the crock pot for dinner. She was trying to decide when to start it. My brother was going to be back at the campground before we got back. I suggested to ask him to turn it on when he got back. My mom actually said, “he just finished a half-Marathon and that’s too much to ask of him.”. My response was “For him to turn a switch?”. This is not an uncommon theme in our family. I intend to raise my son to have the same expectation as any other family member.

— Find out more about Jennifer Crisp

SIX

I was good at math until I was in high school. I was in high track math 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. But then I slowly started thinking I wasn’t good at math because I kept hearing girls aren’t good at math. So when the counselor was helping me pick classes for my freshman year, he basically said “let’s bump you down to average track math” even though I got a high B in 8th grade. And I learned that I wasn’t good at math even though looking back I think I actually was. So I told myself that I wasn’t good at math because other people basically told me that I wasn’t because I’m a girl. And I don’t think I learned as much in high school math because I didn’t try very hard. I had the mindset of “this isn’t my thing. I shouldn’t even try.”

— Find out more about Nikki Howlett

SEVEN 

I think it’s more I’ve noticed how lucky I was to have strong female figures and a father who taught me everything. I also read a lot of book with strong females. Here’s my recent post I wrote.

— Find out more about Shari Dawson Shearer

EIGHT

I hate the comment of throwing or running “like a girl”

Nancy Elyse

NINE

I don’t have a post about this, but it drove me insane. Last year my little sister’s high school softball team went all the way to the state championship (YAY!), and they asked to go up to the field two days early so they could get acclimated and practice one day. You know, get in the right mind set. Anyways, their athletic director said nope, sorry, not in the budget. So they showed up the night before, didn’t have time to work out the jitters, and had to play the next day. They lost. I’m not saying they would’ve won with that extra day, but as an ex-athlete I know how nerves can impact your game. It helps to see the field you’ll be playing on and just calm down from all the excitement (our town held a little parade as they left). It sucked, sure, but I didn’t think anything of it.

Flash forward to the football team’s REGULAR SEASON and they had a game in Texas. They were there for three days. It was basically an all-expenses paid vacation for these boys. And they brought the cheerleaders. They got their asses kicked.

I was so annoyed by this. Let’s just go ahead and tell our daughters that it doesn’t matter how hard you work; you can be the VERY BEST and go to the championship game, but you’ll still never be worth as much as our football players. Have fun in life!

— Find out more about JoshlandLindsay Aspinwall

TEN

My husband’s grandma told me when I was pregnant with my daughter that it would be better to have a boy because girls are only good for cleaning. Granted, she’s 93 and has dementia…but it still hurt.

— Find out more about Caitlin Downs

ELEVEN

I was told I could not do percussion in band because it was for boys. I did the flute, but ended up dropping out. 

— Find out more about Samantha A Brooks 

TWELVE

When my parents went to buy me a used car, the guy selling it told them it was a standard/stick shift and that because I was a girl they should go home and talk to me and make sure I could drive it. My mom was so offended but came home anyway to ask me and we agreed my dad could teach me. To this day I still remember every guy friend who rode in my car in college being floored at how good of a stick shift driver I was 😬

— Find out more about Cammeno Messana Murray

THIRTEEN

When I was in my second last year of high school, I had the goal of going to university to study science. My physics teacher told me in front of the boys in my physics class that girls don’t do science so I would never get anywhere in the science field. I set out to prove him wrong. I went to university and studied science. I then got a job with one of the major science organisations in Australia and was ran hands on science sessions for primary and secondary school students. My crowning moment was going to his high school and running a specialized science session for his class!

— Find out more about Jennie Petrey 

FOURTEEN

I was always told about everything that I did that wasn’t “lady like” and how if I wasn’t “lady like” than no boys will want me and it was just sort of instilled into my psyche that I needed to focus on having a man, like I couldn’t possibly live without one. It made me so codependent as a teen/young adult.

— Find out more about Brigid-Ryan Milenkovski

FIFTEEN

Never in the family, but people around us (esp. neighbors and relatives) would always be concerned about our parents not having a son.. as we r three sisters,many people would say it to our faces, how our parents are being foolish not thinking of their old age etc etc.. I’m sure being an Indian you know how hung up Indians are on having sons.

We would often question our parents if there is something wrong about girls and my dad always said “it’s the way people feel ,not us and what others think is not our problem, so ignore!

— Find out more about Shalini Tyagi

SIXTEEN

Beautiful. For sure! I have a twin brother. So many times in my life I felt less than him for no reason. At work he would start after, be a good worker but have his own imperfections like meor…worse and yet, be promoted. As for treatment, I could come up with some memories.

But hey, being a twin is awesome.

— Find out more about Jewel Elise

The Subtle Parenting Difference Between Girls and Boys | Parenting | Women Empowerment | Think about it

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

 

How Kids Today Perceive India

How Kids Today Perceive India

by with 9 Comments ContemporaryHeritageIndiaVoices

What do kids outside of India really think about the country ? Do expat kids have any connection with their parents’ homeland?

Being a mom of two younger kids who haven’t yet visited India often, these are few of the questions I wonder a lot about. Having been raised in Kuwait, as an Indian I am no stranger to cultural life being confusing in many ways. Interestingly enough, my confusions were solved in my late 20s and totally resolved once I became a mother.

Which is why it is an everlasting curiosity within me to see what kids around me (all in pretty much the same boat I was in) , feel about being raised Indian and being American citizens. Other expats in our Facebook Group for Parents Raising Global Thought Leaders can relate. 

[bctt tweet=”An essay competition for Republic Day of India provides an inside look into the way kids today perceive India.” username=”contactrwc”]

So when the opportunity to judge a kids’ writing competition came my way, I was elated beyond words to get a peak into growing minds.

As I read the several pieces that were submitted to the Republic Day of India competition I was thoroughly impressed. The topic being ” Memories of India “, was fascinating the depth of kids’ emotions regarding the same. What I learned was interesting to say the least.

How Kids Today Perceive India | Essay Writing | How to Expat Indians Feel About India | Republic Day of India | 26th January

They See India Differently

One entry was a beautiful piece about one evening’s experience with applying henna at a fair and seeing their father dancing at wedding. I could feel myself walking right beside her in that moment. Another had expressed their first train experience and even though you could tell that it was cumbersome for the little 7 year old, it was more than enjoyable as well.

You could feel that the experience during their visits mean so much more to them and uniquely so. To see the vibrancy in India through the eyes of young kids is very different. Often they compare the two countries they live in and visit and their perspective was 

Fascinating New Perspectives 

One child wrote so beautifully that he wondered where all the ants were constantly coming from in the house. His answer? ” So many ants were probably there because the food is so delicious. ” He continued to write about the summer he spent imagining the many reasons those ants would be roaming around the house.

It went to speak on how minutely a child thinks about what they experience. 

They Experience Culture Vividly 

Mundan ceremony of little ones or weddings of their siblings or cousins were described in such intricate detail. They found the celebrations a wonderful opportunity to rejoice life. Being an adult, I found many new customs within their experience that I even am new to.

As a parent, I have often worried that new cultural ceremonies (owning to size of crowds) might be overwhelming for my kids but reading those stories made me realize it is me not them that needs to brave the situation. For every custom is a spiritual experience for them. 

Children Feel Close To Family, Despite Distances 

It is a fear of many parents that the kids are distant from their family or relatives. Those essays assured me, while they may be far physically the kids are emotionally very well connected to those relatives who have taken the pains to develop the connection.

Being cared for, taken on bike rides, long walks or being taught yoga are all cherished memories.

There is an essential misconception among adults that being away from family makes kids aloof. But through those words I could sense that love surpasses all boundaries. So if there is any space felt, it is certainly a lack of adults  to not develop a better connection.

Certainly not the child’s. All a child needs is to be loved. 

Many Kids Feel Like Outsiders Already 

And yet are excited to connect!

This stood out the most to me. A lot of the 12 and older kids mentioned in passing that doing so and so made them feel like “less of an outsider ” or helped them ” understand ” something (implying they feel the need to). Or how some one here in USA commented on something that is uniquely ” Indian ” about them affects their perception on visiting India.

To me this was interesting as  I have often wondered how early is it today that kids get this feeling. As an Indian born and raised in Kuwait, it was only in my early 20s when I introspected my feelings enough to understand that I wasn’t as Indian as other kids.

What was hilarious was one 7 year old’s expression that the ” last trip to India helped them get in touch with the inner Indian which has been lost for many years “. ( parenting coaching at it’s best ) .

The experience was such a wonderfully inspiring one that I wanted to pen down tricks for other kids who would ever participate in essay writing.  These are not by any means every judge’s criteria but per writing guidelines these are great rules of thumb to live by when writing creative and effective essays for any occasion.

To submit your child’s creative writing/arts, go ahead and email us at contact@localhost and we will feature them on our platform. Children, after all can use ALL the encouragement they can get.

To write and to contemplate the many ways they connect to their homeland. 

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

by with 7 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentMindsetParentingVoices

There was no question we were going to do it.

My husband had to teach his kids native tongue. It’s a part of him and he needed to pass it on. I dreamed of hearing my kids say English words in cute ways like pweaze. So, we’ve been teaching our kids two languages from day one.

And it’s working.

My six-year-old son can be a miniature translator now and my two-year-old uses both languages in one sentence. Amazing. Adorable.

But sometimes it can be challenging.

Around Friends

I finally had some mom time with a friend over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was wonderful. We ate lots of homemade food, drank, played board games and watched our toddlers play with each other. It was everything I hoped for.

But I realized something interesting while I watched the toddlers play and talk. My friend’s son would speak, and I was amazed at the words he used. He sounded so adult.

The child is intelligent and not just because I’m a biased Godmother.  His mother spends so much quality time with him, reading every night. She is a wonderful teacher.

But it made me question whether my daughter’s speech was delayed. But I realized I am simply not used to hearing a child talk who only speaks one language

Which made me wonder how other people view my children’s’ speech.

Interactions

People don’t always understand my daughter and it was the same with my son. I adore and am used to the way her sentences mix Ukrainian and English together, but it is difficult for my English-speaking family. It must sound like gibberish.

Talking to a two-year-old is hard enough with only one language’s worth of vocabulary.

And then there are the people my kids’ meet for the first time who simply think my daughter must be delayed in speech, just like I did for a moment. People now say my son speaks so well as if he didn’t before. What they don’t think about is that maybe the just didn’t use to understand him.

And all this can give parents mixed feelings.

What it feels like raising bilingual kids | how to Raise bilingual kids | tips to raising kids with two languages - bilingual | parenting | family goals

Feelings

I know we’re not supposed to care what people think, but it’s different when it comes to our kids. We know they are the most fantastic creatures the world has seen, and we want others to know it too.

And when they’re bilingual sometimes their brilliance doesn’t immediately shine.

Then with family, you may feel upset when you see your child cannot effectively communicate with grandma or their uncle. You see both party’s frustration and it can result in you giving up on teaching one of the languages.

But don’t stop. It gets easier.

My six-year-old son now speaks with a slight American accent to his father and me in Ukrainian or English. At separate sentences. He’s fluent.  Finally.

And watching my husband’s eyes light up brings tears to my eyes. That alone was worth it.

So, don’t stop. Keep teaching your child two languages.

Tips to Successful Bilingual Children

  1.    Stick to Your Language

If your child is having a difficult time learning one language over the other, pretend you only understand the language you want them to learn. Be stubborn. My mother-in-law only speaks Ukrainian. While she was here my son had no choice but to speak Ukrainian to her. So, he did. You can mimic the same.

  1.    Warn Others

If it bothers you when strangers don’t understand your child, let the person know right away that your child is speaking two languages at once. They may be amazed.

For family, you can be around to translate for your child. Let Grandma or Uncle know that the word your child just said was in the other language. With your child try to teach your family member some words. Make it fun.

  1.    Read

Read books in both languages. If you are not bilingual, take turns reading. Story structure helps embed the words into your child mind. It improves their vocabulary and it is fun for the child and you.

  1.    Benefits

If you’re unsure if what you are doing is right for your family, learn the benefits. (Read here https://bilingualkidsrock.com/why-raise-bilingual/  ) A few things a child will gain is better grammar in their first language, better at music, a greater understanding of culture, and will have an easier time learning other languages.

  1.    Don’t Give Up

There may be a point when your child decides to ignore a language and only speak one. It happened for a while with my son. It hurts, especially the parent whose language is being ignored. But it does get better over time. It’s just a bump in the road that you need to learn to go around and much like marriage you must stay with it, for better or worse.

It can be challenging raising a bilingual child. Your feelings can go all over the place, but in the end, it is worth it for you and your child. Your child will benefit from your efforts for the rest of their lives.

And what feels better than that?

Jewel Eliese is a fiction writer, developmental editor, co-creator of the Medium publication Writer Mom and founder of writeawaymommy.com. Jewel runs on lukewarm coffee and baby kisses. She believes every mom can write well. Get the free checklist to find time to write with kids around here writeawaymommy.com/checklist/
Please Stop Telling Me What To Say To My Kids

Please Stop Telling Me What To Say To My Kids

by with 7 Comments ContemporaryHeritageParentingVoices

There are so many articles “(Insert Number Here) Things Not To Say To Your Kids“ doing the rounds that tell you how to talk to your children. And I find it amusing to say the least.

I have a hard enough time keeping track of all the things to do in my day and everything the family needs. Telling me to reword myself in every parenting situation is an unrealistic goal.
We are all human. And the best part of being human is having emotions. Check out any robot movie! Being emotional makes us vulnerable to our surroundings.

So guess what?

When my child has to be told for the 10th time to wear his shoes as we are getting late for a class I am paying 30+ dollars for or my toddler keeps using the words ” Oh my Gosh. Look at her butt! “(from the movie Sing) in spite of being told not to over and over again, I will scold them. When my son is rude to me, I will give him a time out. When my daughter lies down on the floor screaming about candy after we have been out all day doing chores, I will come home and vent to my husband, passionately (and loudly).

Mind you, in no way am I condoning being sarcastic or humiliating you child. I am talking about those times that people say the right thing in a misplaced tone or words that slip out in exasperation! Yells that arise from spilled milk after you getting ready for guests or screams of caution when your child is doing something dangerous.

Forgive yourself those.

 How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me


I was reading Martin Luther King Jr’s biography last week and was surprised that his father, a pastor no less whipped him mercilessly when he made mistakes. Yet more than the whipping MLK feared disappointing his father. He never lost sight of the fact that even though the consequences were severe, his father loved him and only meant to guide him.

And he turned into an inspiration for everyone around him.

When I was a child, I feared my mother’s eyes. When acting out, I could sense her across the room holding me in that particular stare that said, “I know what you did and you are going to get an earful when we go home!” Those eyes kept me grounded. I don’t remember the yelling. I was always secure knowing my mother loved me enough to pay give importance to all I do. However, I will always remember the important life lessons that came with.

Of course, I don’t condone whipping you child but why do we think times have changed so much that kids will get traumatized, forget how much they are loved if merely scolded or said the wrong thing to ?

A World Of Nice Parents 

 

Imagine a world where everyone was always nice to their kids. Where you were mild mannered whether your child was right or wrong. Where you clapped for them even when they failed. Where you were always smiling and hugging them. That would lead to a world where children would not have the capability of processing negative emotions.

They wouldn’t have a sense of achievement. They would never have learned how to handle failure. When someone disagreed with them, they would be at a loss as to the right way to respond. In a world of bullies born of weaknesses, they need to understand that sometimes people act out when they are actually hurting inside.

The pressure of being “right” all the time will eventually get to you. Notice when your child is behaving badly in public and you have tried everything positive that isn’t working. The child needs a time out or telling to but you need to go to the car/home first. Think about how suffocated you feel during that time. How upset! Now imagine if you went months feeling like that. Eventually all those emotions will catch up and you will definitely implode! Is that what you want to instill in your child?

My mother often told me a famous Indian story of a thief who grew up with a mother who pampered and praised him no matter what. When he finally got arrested, his mom went to visit him. He called her close to him and bit her ear off saying, “ You are my mother. It was your job to twist my ear and tell me when I was doing wrong. “

It is not a parent’s job to be nice to their children. It is to love them. It is to guide them. To be mature human beings ready to lead the next generation.

 

How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me and My Parenting | Family goals | Life Lessons

Being Human in Parenting

Today the culture is so self serving and peer affected. It is our responsibility to ensure children learn to differentiate right from wrong. To do the right thing when it needs doing. To do chores. To study hard. To be kind, gentle, responsible people who know how to respect every thing and being.

I have yet to meet a person who does something without prompting. And after multiple prompts it is natural to end up irritated. By using different strategies, I try to find the one way that will convince them of what needs doing. Every day is a constant battle with children. From brushing you teeth to the second they close their eyes, there is sly tact, persistent prompts, exasperated yelling involved. On rare occasions the method/wording is uncalled for. And I apologize. But that too teaches my children that reacting wrongly is natural. It is acceptable to make mistakes as long as you are willing to course correct.

Kids should know there are consequences to their actions. That it is okay to vent. They should understand that just because someone yells or says something that they don’t like doesn’t mean that person hates them. Often the person is just tired of not being heard. Youngsters today need to know how to process emotions. Words are only as important as the intention behind them.

[bctt tweet=”A parent’s job is not to be nice to their child. It is to guide them. Martin Luther King Jr. Biography made me introspect on what my job as a parent really is. ” username=”contactrwc”]

I will give you, the “what not to say” lists thoughtfully made are useful in making us ponder about how words can be perceived. In sensitive situations that is a must! Words can hurt, yes! But we need to remember that the intention behind sentences uttered is more important that the words themselves. We need to focus on our history with the person uttering them. We need to remember people make mistakes.

Acknowledge that and process it. Discuss it with the person in question if it truly matters. Then move on.

If we all start focusing on what is said to us and ignore actions that truly speak their own language, we will lose sight of the good in humanity.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones  are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”
Happy New Year 2018 !

Happy New Year 2018 !

by with One Comment Voicesworld changers

Featured in the video powerful women changing the world.

 

Aditi Wardhan Singh – Raising World Children

Christina Tinker – Richmond Moms Blog

Suja Dinesh – Passionate Moms

Ronda Bowen – Snark Magazine

Tammy Coin – Doors of Wellness

Janie Saylor – Become University

Parul Agrawal – Alpha Female House

Deepa Rai – Selfie VA 

Rivkah Krasnoff – Aspiring Mompreneur 

Sherrie McCarthy – Creative Mermaids 

Caroline DePalatis – Culture Weave

Anna Bursell – World Changer 

Dilraz AR Kunnummal – Mommy Dil 

Jaya Joseph George

Madhu Peruri – Pretty Pockets

Bunny Young – A Better Place Consulting 

Deanna Seymour – The Lively Nest 

Meeta Arora – Piping Pot Curry

Laura Fernandez Ramnath – Rambling Ramnaths

Chastity Hise – Domestic as Hell 

Author Jennifer Millikin – Author 

Jewel Eliese – Write Away Mommy 

Sandy Mangis – Jar of Success 

Shannon Lanzerotta – Sister Mom 

Merlie Priya Pais – Musician 

Nicole Fassnacht Akers – Pubishous Now 

Charu Chhitwal – Ketchup Moms 

Ruchi Rastogi – Writer of Dreams 

Sandhya Acharya – Diversity Author 

Discover The Power of New Year Intentions

Discover The Power of New Year Intentions

by with 8 Comments ContemporaryfestivalsParentingVoices

As the end of 2017 quickly approaches, we have the special opportunity to set intentions for the new year. Ritualizing or honoring transitions, such as the end of the year and the beginning of 2018, can be powerful and transformative!

These rituals may inspire new layers of processing and reflecting. They may act as an anchor that grounds and steadies, and they may serve as a catalyst for change and transformation.

One ritual that many people are familiar with is New Year’s resolutions. I often hear of resolutions such as “lose 20 pounds”, “start working out more”, “spend less money”, or “read more books.” While many of these resolutions contain ideas that may enhance one’s life, there’s a pressure and expectation that can become rather heavy.

Resolutions are often loaded with “shoulds;” for example, “I should be healthier.” In many cases, resolutions contain a sense of shame, which can’t truly motivate or sustain us long-term. In fact, shame may push us further out of alignment, causing us to feel like a failure. When I set intentions in the past, I experienced a constant sense of not being or doing enough. Does this sound familiar to you?

An alternative ritual that I’d like to suggest today is intention setting. Intentions are lighter in nature. They are about creating a vision for ourselves as we move forward in life. We name it and own it. Intentions focus on committing to the life we each wish to live, asking us to channel energy into an idea of change and transformation that we have for ourselves and our family. When we set intentions, we commit to stepping into the process of growing every day.

The differences may sound quite subtle, but keep reading for ideas on how to set your intentions, and the unique inspiration of a New Year’s Intention is sure to shine through.

7 Ways to Set New Year’s Intentions:

Pick one of these activities or try them all! Many of these activities pair nicely together, so read each one and notice which one(s) you feel called towards.

1.What do you want this next year to look like, sound like, and feel like? Use this 3-column chart to write it ALL out.

There are no limits. Get very specific. For example, I want 2018 to look like camping in West Texas, reunions with friends, organic vegetables, and talking with clients on zoom. I want 2018 to sound like lots of laughter, deep conversations, and moments of sweet silence. I want 2018 to feel like joy, warm hugs, peaceful, and adventurous. Hang this chart somewhere you’ll where you’ll see it and refer to it regularly. Consider doing this activity as a family, observing the many different ways each member of the family wants 2018 to be like. Create conversation about these differences, learning from and feeling inspired by one another, and making plans and intentions together. Print your template for this activity here.

2. Pick one word that can be your theme, mantra, and vision for the year.

If you do activity #1, a word may appear in your chart or as you’re crafting the details. A specific word that describes your vision may come up. Or, perhaps you sit in quiet for a few moments and see if a word comes up for you. Examples of themes include joy, peace, abundance, or laughter. Find ways to integrate this theme into your life throughout the year.

Perhaps you sit in meditation each day and use this word as a mantra at the beginning or end of your practice. Maybe you create a piece of artwork with this word prominently displayed and hang it where you’ll interact with it daily. You can select a word together as a family, as well as individual themes for 2018.

3.Burn away the hurts, challenges, and struggles from the last year and use this new energy to commit to your vision for the future. Literally.

You’ll need a fireplace, a flame-proof pot or bowl, or a candle that you are willing to let go of, matches, and small slips of paper. Depending on the age-appropriateness of this activity for your children, consider allowing each family member to write out the parts of their lives, experiences, or negative thoughts that they are ready to let go of.

Allow time to think, reflect, and write. Then give each person the chance to burn these hurts away by tossing the paper into the fire. These slips may be read aloud or kept in silence before they are burned. New life grows out of ashes, so allow time to name (verbally or in writing) your new intentions or mindset for 2018.

4.Have a family-building circle to reflect upon 2017 and name intentions for 2018.

Through this restorative process, each family member has the time and space to explore their visions and goals, while also holding space for the rest of the family. This activity invites connection, trust, and understanding within the family, and each family member will have a chance to envision the 2018 they want and need to create. E-mail me for more information about restorative circles.

5.As a family, create a poster, painting, or table cloth together.

This creation will be a centerpiece, a unifying creation that inspires family life for 2018. Use the theme or words from activities #1-3 as the foundation for this art piece. A table cloth will be a perfect centerpiece for family-building circles (#4) throughout the year!

6.Set one small intention for each of the 12 months. Pick smaller goals or visions to focus on each month. Add these to the family calendar. During each month, give your special attention and focus to your monthly intention. For example, in January the focus may be “rest,” while in April the intention may be “movement,” and in July the goal may be “service.”

7.Set intentions for different aspects of your life. For example, family, personal, work. Or perhaps you’d like to set intentions about how you want to feel in your heart, mind, and body. You might draw ideas from activity #1 to generate these. Then, build intentions that will anchor your in 2018. Write these out as mantras to refer to, tuck them in your wallet, display them on the fridge, or use them in a way that invites you into the creative process daily.

May your intentions for 2018 bring you great peace and joy, and may 2018 be all that you need and want it to be. Share your intentions and ideas for 2018 below so that we can learn from one another, inspire one another, and hold one another accountable.

7 ways to set new year intentions as a family | Parenting | Family | New Year Resolutions | How to set resolutions

Discover The Power of New Year’s Intentions As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/ and https://courtneylynnharris.wixsite.com/mysite
Is it really essential to be a secular being?

Is it really essential to be a secular being?

by with 10 Comments ContemporaryfestivalsFoodKids CornerParentingVoices
Or is it all just a hype ? 

In the fast paced modern society, when everything is changing so rapidly, I think it’s our obligation to make us as well as our family, more flexible, more adjustable so as to be more compatible with the norms of the society. The migration of people from one part of the world to another has also become one such norm.

Whether in search of job or to earn more money or just for a change or for their families or for any other reason, people today are not reluctant in making a change. Though the world is a small place, still the cultures, customs and traditions are quite different in each and every part, whether it’s within a particular country or outside a country.

In this age, the idea of being secular becomes essential.

When you respect each and every religion along with its customs –

–You’ll be able to mingle up with the residents of that place and definitely feel one amongst them.

–You’ll be joyful throughout as you can take part in their celebrations too , with full energy and enthusiasm.

–You’ll never be aloof or desserted in the hour of need as there’ll be a support system for you with whom you can share your griefs and sorrows.

–You can have celebrations round the year, thus leaving little or no room for negativity.

–And most importantly, you’ll also have a chance to spread your fragrance too.

Having no idea of tomorrow, I make it a point to teach or discuss various festivals with my kids so as to make them a responsible and a compassionate being. But, it was not easy initially as the obsolete but important question—

How to give them knowledge when I myself was not aware of most of the facts?                 

But it’s said-Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And in the process of finding the answer to the above question, I also became a ‘Learner’. And that helped me a lot, even helping now.

What I did was—

–I educated myself about the particular festival. For example, if about Christmas, I learnt about its origin and importance through books and internet, of course.

–I got myself involved with the members of the particular community, who used to celebrate it and learnt to make the dishes and little things related to that festival. Like for Christmas, I learnt to make Christmas tree, bells and Christmas cake. Once we even made the snowman. And believe me, the experience was ecstatic.

–I even learnt some stories to narrate to my children about that festival. For Christmas, I learnt the story about Jesus Christ .

–And nothing is complete until you give your imagination, some colorful wings. So for Christmas, I created an imaginary Santa in my kids’ mind who would give them chocolates on 25th December. And it worked. Just after getting up, they look for their chocolates under their pillows. They thank Santa for the chocolates and relish the experience that they get from these little things whenever we come across any Christian family as they never feel left behind.

That’s why I feel it’s the feeling, the empathy towards any religion that matters a lot which only, we as parents can instill in the little hearts of our children .What they develop is faith, which they’ll definitely cherish later.

How Do We Achieve A Goal When We Have No Knowledge Of The World | Raising World Children | Parenting | family | kids | teaching Kids

  Ruchika Rastogi, an Indian who was born and brought up in Delhi. She loves to explore the unexplored. A mother of two lovely kids, she works as a teacher and her passion for writing has helped her survive during her hard times. Her first non fiction book got published last year with the name-A Mystical Majesty-the woman. As a contributing author, her anthology with the title–Wait Till I Tell You got launched recently. With dreams in her eyes, she believes in living life optimistically.
When My Oldest Moved to College

When My Oldest Moved to College

by with 16 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

I sat there, going over my list again. I wanted to be absolutely sure my oldest, Mr. 19, would have everything he needed for college. I’d been preparing myself for this moment since before he could walk or talk, knowing that children are only children for so long and that eventually even the littlest of birdies would leave the nest. It’s funny, because when he was six, he used to curl up in the Papasan chair I kept in my office with his Beanie Baby collection, and tweet at me while I worked on papers for classes. He called the chair his nest, and his stuffed animals his “birdies.”

And here we were, thirteen years later, long past the time when it’s acceptable for a child to want to snuggle, with him with his head on my shoulder and me sharing blankly ahead. It had all gone so fast! How did it go so fast? How did 19 years just fly by? I half-joked, “You could always go to college here.” We both laughed and then he headed upstairs for one more sleep as a full-time resident of our home. We’d packed as much as we would be able to safely fit into the van for this trip, and it would be a long drive with me navigating for my husband the next day.

Just the Two of Us

For the longest time, I was a single mom. We had each other’s backs. I would let him stay up late and play board games on a Friday night. We’d go and check out the local bowling alley together when we got too bored around the house. I’d drag him along to a coffee shop where I’d meet friends to study or I’d head for a change of venue to write. It felt like it was the two of us against the world, and I had my lists. Oh, I had my lists.

Lists of books to read, lists of things to teach before he went off to college and out into the world, lists of must-have childhood experiences, lists of places to go, lists, lists, lists. When I pulled him out of public school in second grade to homeschool him, the lists multiplied. I had lists of subjects and lists of topics within those subjects, I had lists of field trips, and I had lists of college requirements.

And Dad Makes Three

When I met my husband, I had no idea that he’d be my husband. We quickly became friends. It was my general practice to not introduce people I dated to my oldest. I had no intentions of dating my now-husband, so he quickly became part of the circle. And we quickly fell in love. When we moved in together, my husband asked my son how he felt about him becoming his stepdad. My son responded, “That’s great! But lose the step. You’ll just be my dad.”

And so it went. He gained a dad; my husband gained a son, and we continued our board game adventures, now adding three-player games into the mix.

A Few Siblings and a Lot of College Prep

My oldest returned to public school in 8th grade, and quickly made it clear that he had big dreams of going off to college. I’d been preparing him for it since he was little, so it was no surprise to me. He fell in love with a small school in Iowa upon receiving a brochure from them advertising their school when he was a freshman. It’s funny, but that’s exactly the one place, other than the local university, where he applied, and not only did he get in, he got in with scholarships. Senior year became about me wrapping my mind, more and more, around the fact that my tiny sweet baby had now grown into a young man and soon he would be off, making his own life for himself.

What it's like when kids go to college | Raising World Children | Parenting | family | Empty Nest

And Then it Hit… Like a Horseshoe to the Face

I was preparing myself all summer. He had his first real part-time job at the grocery store. He was very busy. We tried to play as many board games as possible, watch movies together, have him spend as much time as possible with his three new younger siblings.  We had shopping for dorm essentials on the calendar, and then it happened – we got a call that he’d been accepted into a special program that would have him leaving for college a week earlier than what we’d planned.

I may have fallen apart just a little bit. Instead of getting to spend time with him as had been planned, I now had to say goodbye a week earlier – and we wouldn’t get to see any of the welcome to college events that the school had planned.

It felt like someone had thrown a horseshoe directly to my face. The moment I’d been preparing myself for for 19 years was coming earlier than expected and in a different way than expected, and as anyone who knows me knows, I don’t do well with the unexpected.

We drove to his school, had a tantrum-filled dinner as his send-off, and though some may disagree, we opened a bottle of wine and let him have a glass. He was embarking upon a new journey (and I wanted him to know what a little bit of alcohol felt like in his body in a controlled environment before peer pressure and college parties kicked in). We got his much-needed dorm room supplies, and helped him move his belongings in. We hugged. He walked to the dorms and we pulled out of the parking lot – with me in tears. I would be missing his birthday for the first time ever.

The Hot Mess Phase

I had planned all sorts of things when we got home – starting my 3 1/2 year old’s pre-kindergarten work, lots of fun toddler activities, sewing projects and blog tours. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t sew. I couldn’t teach. I could just sit and stare and maintain. It didn’t help that I was also fighting off postpartum depression from the birth of my now 6-month old. I didn’t show up for my self-imposed runs in preparation for the 5k I’d signed up for. I didn’t write other than to keep my paying clients satisfied with my work. I didn’t tend to the house or laundry. I cried. I cried a lot.

Nothing in the 19 years of being a mom prepared me for the depth of grief mixed with pride and excitement that I would feel when my child launched for college. Of course I was happy for him – here he was – he’d done it; he’d made it. But I was completely taken aback by the sadness I felt knowing that my oldest – the one I’d done a lot of growing up with – was now an adult and although he’d come home for holidays and perhaps summers, he was out on his own.

Pulling It All Together

I continued like this, putting together care packages, counting down the days until Thanksgiving break, when we had the chance to go visit him for parent’s weekend. We went up. We got to meet his girlfriend and his roommate. We got to see that he was happy and doing well and navigating this whole adulting thing pretty well.

I felt less sad and broken on the drive home after. He was doing well with his debate team, doing well with theater stuff, doing well. He wasn’t being all work and no play – one of my biggest fears for him. He was getting out and being social with his classmates. I was able to relax. I was able to come home and do more and start to get back to where I was at the beginning of August.

Know that if you’re child is heading off, it will be a change. Things still don’t feel right. I struggled with Halloween and decorating for it this year. It was hard to feel like I wanted to do my usual go-all-out for the holiday thing that I do, but we still had fun. Know that you’re not alone. A lot of people feel this way when it comes to adapting to the change.

I still get out an extra plate and bowl for him if I’m tired and serving dinner – because I’m on autopilot, and for 19 years I also worried about making sure he ate and was well. I couldn’t be prouder of him. I also couldn’t be counting down the minutes until Thanksgiving break more excitedly.

Have you had to say bye to your little one all grown up? What was it like for you?

 

 

Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.