Parenting Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Raising World Children

Breastfeeding in Iceland – an Ice Breaking Experience

July 21, 2017

by Featured Guest with 3 Comments Parenting Voices

I am an Icelandic mother of three, the oldest one is 4 years old and the youngest one will be one year old in August. I have breastfed everyone and I am still breastfeeding the youngest child.

In the last 52 months I have been breastfeeding infants for a total of 33 months. That means that for more than four years I have been breastfeeding continuously. I decided to stop breastfeed the first one when she was one year old, the middle one when she was 10 months old (because I was pregnant, though I wanted to do it longer) and I am still breastfeeding my youngest son who will turn one year old in next month.

I will stop breastfeeding after few days. It will be hard because I feel so connected with my children while breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding in Iceland is an Icebreaker

I love how it is normal here in Iceland to give your child this important meal every where you choose. I would never ever feed my child in locket room or at the toilet.

When my baby is hungry, I breastfed it, whenever wherever. It is that simple for me. I have breastfed restaurants, at the mall, waiting in line for my printed photos.

The reaction when I breastfeed in public are beautiful. People smile at me, strangers come and talk to me with this pure smile when people see this brand new little person getting food from their mother. People share their stories with me and talk about when there children where so little. They advise me on how this time is so special! They ask me if I have more children and so on. I can say that breastfeeding in public places in Iceland is one special kind of an icebreaker.

Me and my husband got a great photographer Tinna Schram to come home and take pictures when our children where 10 days old. Because of how natural and beautiful breastfeeding is, the photographer took pictures of me breastfeeding the children. We cherish those pictures so much.

[bctt tweet=”Breastfeeding in Iceland is a totally unique experience indeed. ” username=”contactrwc”]

The Downside

The people in Iceland are so fond of breastfeeding that it is really hard for mothers that are not able to breastfeed their lovely infants. If they need to give their babies bottle, they would try to not do it in public. They try to avoid as many eyes as they can.

The older generation would say, how do you not have enough or you did not try hard enough or your generation is too soft. Not everybody of course but too many by my opinion. Few of my friends have cried a lot because of these comments. I think these responses come only because 100 years ago people really needed to struggle to survive. Icelanders lived in farm building with turf walls and also in caves. Their hard lives maybe make them believe in natural ways and tough stances.

Looking forward to write again about the culture in Iceland in parenting. What has your breastfeeding experience been like ?

Eva Ösp Matthíasdóttir, is married to her best friend Bjarki Heiðar Bjarnason and they have three lovely children together that are all in kindergarten. She is a teacher from Iceland and loves being a mother. Before the motherhood, she traveled a lot and learned a lot from another cultures. She truly believes that every human being has a right to be loved and be accepted. Me and my husband just started youtube channel Our Journey that talks about our lives in Iceland

13 Life Lessons Every Kid Can Learn From Mahabharata

July 17, 2017

by Vasantha Vivek with 10 Comments Heritage Parenting Voices

Though I was a working mom, I never compromised on time spent with my son during his childhood. I love to spend quality time with him right from his birth. And he’s a big fan of stories. No surprising, since I used to tell stories even when he was in my womb.

The epic saga of Mahabharata has attracted him for many fascinating reasons. He loves the characters, morals, adventures, fiction, knowledge and wisdom shared by the innumerable stories of Mahabharata.

Mahabharata is one of the two Indian epics that narrates the importance of morals and values in life. It is a rich source of ethics and life lessons. In this modern era, Mahabharata is being taught in management classes and leadership training.

My son is just entering into his teens this 2017. And always we find it interesting to discuss and chat about the stories we read, movies we saw and things we heard. Last week, on one such discussions, he shared about the life lessons he learned from Mahabharata in his 13 years. As a mom, I feel really happy about his learning and would love to share with you all.

[bctt tweet=”Found in many Hindu home, Mahabharat is a must read for every new mom to teach kids values. ” username=”contactrwc”]

13 Life Lessons Learned By My Son From Mahabharata

Perform your duty

Lord Krishna taught that one should perform his duties as a son, husband, father, student without fail. We used to give my son some work right from the time he was able. He never refused. He enjoys helping in the kitchen and also loves to assist his father in shopping, travelling. In fact, he is our guru (teacher), guiding us with modern gadgets.

Fight for your rights

Pandavas teach that one should know their rights and privileges and one should fight for getting them. My son is aware of the same. Once he asked for a Ben 10 toy which was beyond our budget at that time. Once explained, he understood and waited for nearly three years to get that. By this, he learnt the art of waiting on getting his desire fulfilled though it’s his rights.

Always support good

Krishna’s stories guide one to support good causes. My son usually takes two or three sheets of paper extra for his exams. One day, I asked him why you always take extra sheets to school. And I was really moved on hearing his reply. He said that he gave those extra sheets for a poor boy in his class. He is always a peace maker !

Focus Leads to Success

One famous story of the Mahabharata is about the young Arjuna which teaches that one should keep his focus unaltered to attain success. Earlier my son seemed to be hyperactive. He could not sit and concentrate on one thing for more than five minutes. This made him so naughty at school. This behavior distraction pulled down his grades in exams. Later we taught him some methods and introduced some tools to divert his energy. We bought fidgets, calming glitter jars to calm him and increase his focus. Now he has developed high concentration and is excelling in all his efforts.

Keep Moving

One should perform only his duties and should not worry about its results. He will be rewarded at the right time. My son was interested in joining cricket coaching. But I was not comfortable about this since he was identified that he has weaker spots in his retina. But he would keep on asking me to join the cricket coaching. Later on I made him admitted for the coaching. Now he’s leading his school cricket team for many matches.

Respect Elders and Women

Acharya Drona taught that one should respect elders and women. Always I insist this to my son. He loves to chit chat with his grandmothers and also give respect to women. He know the values of womanhood and he wants to be always supportive. He usually get blessings from his elders on all functions and family celebrations.

Pride Leads to Failure

The story of the Kauravas teach that one should remain gentle and humble in all situations. Pride will always lead to failure. Mostly my son won’t take any success to his head.

Avoid Bad Friends

The great Karna teaches that one should avoid bad company. It will surely lead to misery. I’m happy he has a sound group of friends. All his friends will visit our house for playing PS4 and all of them are our friends too. Still I keep an eye over them since they are at their pre adolescent age.

Think Before You Speak

The act of Draupadi taught that one should keep a watch over their words. You can not revoke the spoken words. So you have to think twice before uttering any comments. My son is a good listener and he is very selective in his choice of words.

Revenge Leads to Disaster

The story of Draupadi is a great example of this. My son usually forgets and forgives persons irrespective of their behavior. He used to tell me, why God has given us two ears. You have to listen through one ear and you have to let the words that hurt pass through the other ear.

Half Knowledge is Dangerous

The story of Abhimanyu and the Chakravyuh teaches that one should learn anything completely. Half knowledge is always dangerous. He learnt swimming during his summer vacation at South Africa. His master always insisted him to practice every stroke of swimming thoroughly, so that he develops confidence on it. He understands well that half knowledge in anything is not going to help him in anyway. He’s interested to learn many things like Hindi, Karate and Football.

Blind Love Is Disastrous

The lesson of “One should not support their kids blindly” was learnt from the blind love of Dhritarashtra. Parents should teach them the morals and values of life. They should teach them what is correct and what is wrong. Parents should not fail to punish them if they do anything wrong. We have a reward system for my son for limiting his screen time, going to bed on time etc.

Anger is Our enemy

Anger makes us older and smile make us younger. My son never gets angry. If he’s not comfortable about anything, he will just move away. He used to listen to music or used to watch cartoons to calm himself. I have to confess here, that I’m the person who get irritated much in our family. Now I’m learning from my son to be stress free always.

Do you tell stories to your kids? What are your bedtime rituals? What lessons your kids have learnt from Indian Folk Tales? Do share with us and we are all ears ….. 🙂 🙂 🙂

References :

https://en.wikipedia.org/
http://www.kidsgen.com/
http://www.hindukids.org/
http://www.indolink.com/Kidz/mythology.html
http://raja-thatha-corner.bizhat.com/Stories.html
http://www.culturalindia.net/indian-folktales/hitopadesha-tales/

Vasantha Vivek loves to call herself as a happy woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, teacher, friend, mentor, seeker, lover. She’s from Kovilpatti, a small town of Southern Tamilnadu of India. She was a teacher by profession. She worked as a professor at an Engineering College for nearly 15 years. She has learnt a lot as a teacher. She hopes that she had inspired some hearts during that period. Teaching is her passion Reading is her love. Cooking is her heart. She enjoys reading and writing very much. She starts & ends her days with reading. She blogs @ “My Sweet Nothings”. She’s also guest authoring in various sites like Indian Moms Connect, Monsoon Breeze, Parentous, Women’s Web, mycity4kids & World of Moms. Featured At:The Times Of Amma, Stories of Motherhood!, Smart Indian Women.

Nurturing Relationships Authentically in Digital Age

July 14, 2017

by Minali Bajaj Syed with 3 Comments Contemporary Parenting Voices

Are we meeting this weekend?

When are you making me brownies?

Do you know where can I find almond flour?

Can you please send me the notes from today?

These are how conversations online begin in this digital age. Unfortunately, it seems like basic social etiquette of asking about one’s well being, about the family, about one’s work, or about life in general have gone out of the window. Smart modes of communication seem to have made our conversations cold and to the point. Emotions have gone missing and convenience seems to have taken over compassion.

But would we want our kids to grow up to be adults with no empathy?

Every single day, I remind my kids that when they meet someone they know, they MUST greet them with a smile and ask them about their well being. The struggle is real believe me! Children are often so caught up with their play and imagination that they tend to be too distracted to acknowledge a new presence.

[bctt tweet=”So many of us are guilty of communicating with our family and friends only when we need something or need to know something. ” username=”contactrwc”]

But what is our reason as adults to have no time for basic etiquette? So many of us are guilty of communicating with our family and friends only when we need something or need to know something. Unfortunately, the desire of keeping in touch and the feeling of wanting to be there for someone is slowing fading away.

Communication Years Ago

Almost two decades ago, I moved to the US to go to university. When I was leaving home, I took with me a little telephone directory filled with my family and friends phone numbers. I manually entered each number on my phone and stored them all. Those were the days when we made phone calls to keep in touch. Then came the email and it became the coolest mode of communication.

Even then, emails were filled with emotion and would make one feel so close to someone so far. We poured our hearts and minds out in our emails and saved our loved ones replies for a later read (which would be so comforting!) We probably had more value for emotions and etiquette because we saw our parents and everyone else around us displaying it. How I wish I could turn back time!

As much as technology plays a huge role in the advancement of human evolution, the question is…is it helping us evolve into better human beings? You may have all heard the cliche line that smart gadgets are making humans less human ?

Using Technology As Tools

Not necessarily because a lot of people use these gadgets wisely to enhance their skills, to get their work done, to run a business and so much more. Using social media responsibly is an art too. But when it comes to communicating, relationships seem to have been taken for granted, and time and convenience are given more priority.

In the age of NO mobile phones and NO internet, we were all so happy and content with Graham Bell’s invention. Who remembers those days when you would wait for the clock to strike 12, to call your friend and wish them ‘Happy Birthday!’ That excitement of being the first one to wish (sigh!) and the disappointment of finding an ‘engaged tone’ because someone else beat you to being the ‘first one’ to wish your friend.

Life was so uncomplicated. ‘Call Declined’ in those days was keeping the handset off the hook. Even if we were in deep sleep we would reach out to that phone because if we didn’t, then it would just keep ringing. Back then, receiving a phone call and telling the person that you will call them back later was more convenient. Besides that is the right thing to do!

Invitations for gatherings, congratulatory messages, wishes for special occasions and asking for one’s well being, which were all done over the telephone have been replaced by Whatsapp messages.

Connect Personally

We may have hundreds of Facebook friends and thousands of Instagram followers, but even today one phone call from a dear one, and you are left smiling all day. Feel blessed if you still have a few loved ones, who make time for a phone call. Those are the ones who you need to hold on to.

Let us take our relationships away from the digital world and bring back the warmth into our relationships.

Ditch the likes and comments and meet up for a cup of coffee.
Avoid typing a message and make that call instead.
Once in a while, make a video call to a loved one who lives far away.
Start your online conversations by inquiring about the other person’s well being.
Initiate a meet up and don’t just wait for someone else to make a plan.
Plan a yoga session together or a digital detox getaway.
Set up play dates so that you can catch up with friends, while the kids are busy playing.

Let’s not forget that one day our children will grow up to follow in our footsteps. The world is only moving ahead at a much faster pace than before. The least we can do is inculcate in our coming generations – the value of relationships and the importance of social etiquette. Perhaps this could be our small contribution to making the world a better place!

Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, She has had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. She thus, considers herself a global citizen. She is always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivism. On most days, she is a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom.

10 Ways To Teach Kids Gender Equality

July 7, 2017

by Shalini Tyagi with 10 Comments Empowerment Parenting Voices

Anyone who is even remotely associated with India knows that being a male in this part of the world is a privilege. Despite all the changing times a sense of superiority still comes with the territory. Gender equality is an ongoing battle. They are waited on, given preference, more than often pampered just a little bit extra. Older women in our society consider themselves blessed to be mothers of sons and female members of some families still believe in this male dominance.

Yet, every day on social media pages I find some beautiful message celebrating daughters, about how lucky all these people are to be parents of amazing daughters. It is all so heartwarming! On the other hand there is news daily about the struggle that women face everyday.

The constant debate about how women are not safe, specially in India makes me feel how hollow all the endearment on social media is. The world is aware of these problems. The sexual harassment, violence towards women and gender inequality to name a few.

A while back I heard a talk from a very learned lady (cannot recall her name) on a social media platform. She said something along the lines of “We Indians bring-up our sons in a totally wrong way”. Someone else mentioned “Don’t tell your daughters how to behave, teach your sons better”.

These two statements got me thinking, maybe we desperately need to change as a society.

“What a person becomes is a reflection on the whole society”.

This quote purely explains why we need core change.

I too am a mother, at times a very scared one! Telling my daughter to first be strong, then kind, smart and last of all beautiful inside. I don’t try to call her a princess as those pretty creatures are often lazy in looking out for themselves and depend on being rescued.

I try to teach my son better. But cannot control what goes on in the world. Things that are everywhere in the movies, media and our society. So, I made a list of things that I feel we need to teach our children.

No one is Special

Let’s try to teach our sons, being male is not a privilege. It is just as good as being any child,boy or girl. Every child will get everything in a balanced manner. No one owns the world just because of their gender.

Good Touch-Bad Touch

The word NO: These messages are loud and clear.At a young age all children need to be taught about this. There is so much helpful information about this topic online. I shared this with both my kids when they started pre-school respectively. The difference between a good and bad touch.Any touch that feels wrong or uncomfortable is to be stopped and screamed at by a big “NO”. As the Bollywood movie “PINK” recently emphasized, a NO means NO.It does not require any explanation.

If a person tells you to not touch them, you respect that.At the same time if you feel threatened by anyone learn to say “NO”.

Help Yourself

This is one thing I am a very firm believer of. Do not wait on your sons. I have asked my son to help me with small chores around the house, since the age he can manage to. Get your own water, pick up after yourself are some of the things that can be taught from a small age.

Boys Do Cook

Last summer, my cousin’s son informed me that boys do not cook, mamas do, as they are girls. Few days later my son parroted the same line to me. I sat them both down and asked “Do you boys get hungry?” .Both nodded meekly at this trick question. So I informed them “Anyone who gets hungry, should know how to cook”. You see, hunger does not discriminate based on gender.

Talk about Sex

This is one very important question that has baffled parents far & wide. When to talk to child about it, at what age. Recently, my son who is nine, got to asking all sorts of questions. After dodging for a few months, I decided to tackle the matter head-on.

After some research online and talking to a few other mothers, I gave him a talk on the topic. The best approach I found is give all the age appropriate information, it acts as an insurance against any ill-informed influence. Helping the child to make right choices and not be a confused teenager, Looking to experiment .
Also, it is important as even boys are vulnerable and can be harassed.

Not Entitled to Any Estate

Our boys in India come with readymade incomes from birth. It is assumed that a boy is entitled to all that the family owns and whatever he gets in the form of dowry.Let’s teach our sons some self-worth. I want to instill the value of hard work in my boy and teach him that all children have the same birth rights. No estate and no dowry can make our society so much better.

Be the Example

This is another very important thing we need to teach our sons. They need to learn to respect all women, starting from home. Don’t be the kind of woman who needs to be rescued. Be your own rescue (at least, most of the time). Set an empowered example ! Let your son understand that women can do all that men can and more. Try to be the kind of mother who takes the world in her stride. Be angry, be upset, be weak but rise from it and take charge of your own life.

Different People, Different Opinions

This is one important thing that all kids,boys and girls,need to be taught. Every day you will not meet like-minded people. Many will ridicule, criticize or threaten you. Kids need to understand to believe in themselves and stand up for their own rights. Also teach them to respect others point of view and opinions. Not every word or thought has to offend us, learn to walk away.

In a world getting intolerant by the minute, tolerance is an attribute to be cherished.

Reassure Them Of Their Place

Today this is a world which is really trying to uplift its girls and women on every possible platform and empower them. We all love our daughters to bits and constantly fight to safeguard their interests. But in all this our boys also need to be reassured of their special place. I make it a point to tell my son how important he is and will always be the biggest piece of my heart not because he is a boy but because he is my first baby.

[bctt tweet=”It is never too late to start trying and no step is ever too small in teaching kids about gender equality. #parenting #kids ” username=”contactrwc”]

Give Your Child a Growth Mindset

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Gender Equality

Children need to learn that all human beings come with the same rights, despite their gender or sexual orientation.Though every one has their own strengths and weaknesses and the world would be a lot better in understanding and accepting that.

We as a society have strayed and things seem to be getting worse. But it is never too late to start trying and no step is ever too small.

We can start by trying at home, raise our kids to be the men and women we can be proud of tomorrow. What tips would you give to someone bringing up boys ?

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3 Parenting Mistakes When Teaching A New Language

June 19, 2017

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with 8 Comments Parenting Voices

This is a sponsored post. All opinions that of the author.

I am Indian. Ideally, Hindi would be my native language. The realization that English was my first language came to light one bright and sunny evening a few years after my kids were born.

At the park, an elderly Indian lady approached us and started making small talk. She asked the standard questions about where in India did I belong, where I worked etc. After a few minutes of watching my son and me, she questioned, “Your son doesn’t speak Hindi?”

When I replied in the negative, she retorted, ” But you stay at home, right ? How is it he hasn’t learned? “

Needless to say, I was livid! It was hurtful and insensitive on so many levels my mind hurt from thinking about it.

A few days later though, it made me introspect. I wondered about the kids I knew who did speak their native language. Comparing all the things parents with native language speaking kids did differently than us. I asked questions. The most important answer that came across was, ” Make them speak Only in that language. ” Easier said than done!

My son would just say No to even the theory of learning. In his head he is American and since none of his friends in preschool or teachers spoke Hindi, he just didn’t feel the need. It has been a couple of years of trial and errors and I am still working on the same. While, the resistance to learning Hindi has finally reduced thanks to friends in school who are bilingual or working on it, we still have a long way to go.

For the longest time, I never understood the base reason of why my son, whose parents are both Indian didn’t just naturally pick up the language ?!

Their main focus however is providing high quality language one on one coaching to eager students who want to learn new languages.

As I went through their blog, it reiterated the need to introduce and make that extra effort to raising multilingual kids. That is when my mistakes and the ways to correct the same came to light!

Not Speaking The Language Consistently At Home

Most of the kids I know who speak their native language have grandparents living with them for long periods of time. Or parents who speak the language at home. At our home, we speak English foremost. My husband and I speak English more often than Hindi. When I started thinking about why, that is when I realized in actuality English is my first language and it is hard for me to remind myself constantly to talk in Hindi.

I needed to first work on myself.

On this suggestion, I stuck post it notes around the upper level to teach the kids easy to learn words with pictures. Also, another friend suggested to stick post it notes around Everywhere to remind you to speak in Hindi or whatever language you want to teach kids.

Not Letting The Kids Struggle

My son doesn’t speak but he understands Hindi completely. We know because he retaliates when we happen to talk in Hindi about doing something he doesn’t like. (Ha! ) But when it comes to conversing, it is hard looking at the kids flounder for the right word to use. Also, time consuming. In the hurry to get on with our day, we would give in and tell them in English what we were saying in Hindi. We wouldn’t stick with it.

I now take the time we in which we do homework to talk to my kids exclusively in Hindi. The instructions I need to give them are familiar and they find it easier to relate and respond.

Not Reading To Them In New Language

Funnily Hindi books are hard to find and harder to read when you do. They are so content heavy that it is hard to get kids to sit still for the reading. Little Linguine drove home the fact that I need to do the same.

I have now made simple, easy to understand short stories with a few English words thrown in to keep them interested.

Learning a new language can be daunting at any age. Together we can work towards creating an interest for new languages, specially respect for our native ones in our children.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.

Bridging The Generational Gap With The Elderly

June 16, 2017

by Tina Miranda with One Comment Heritage Parenting Voices

Waiting at a check out queue the other day, I saw the cashier chatting away to a lady who was quite elderly. While I didn’t mind the wait, I was quite enamored by the ease of their conversation. Much like old friends!

I questioned the cashier about the same, who let me know that she probably was the only human contact that senior person would have till she came in for groceries next week! I was quite taken aback, surely there was somebody who looked in on her?

Elderly Around The World

Traditionally in India, venerating an elder person in some form, either greeting with joined hands or touching of their feet is an expectation.

In the Arab countries, elders are greeted with a kiss on the forehead, as a mark of affection and respect.

Whereas in many Western cultures, hugs and a handshake are a form of the same. Down under, seniors are rather overwhelmed if we confer any of these affectionate gestures on them and are quite appreciative of them. To be deemed an honorary Aunt or an Uncle is quite special. Where as in India, anyone who is not family is respectfully addressed as an Uncle or Aunty.

Our cultures play a vital role in shaping most if not all our outlooks and attitudes in life. Indian heritage dictates, an unwavering respect for elders.

The magic number at which an Australian would consider themselves an elder or senior is far more advanced than back home. While our parents would probably consider themselves as aged or aging even approaching 50, a Western adult would probably be comfortable classifying themselves as a ‘senior’ at 70 or more.

Interestingly, I am aware of my shift in attitude in how I perceive ‘elders’ as I transition through life. While it was natural to scoff at a well-meaning word of advice when I was younger, today when I see an elder person, I think of the life they must have lived.

The achievements and accomplishments they would have definitely worked towards. Part of me yearns to be part of that elite group, which has earned the luxury to look back and relax. They have paid their dues diligently and now reap the rewards, so to speak.

Yearning for Mentors in Life

Living away from my own parents, I constantly look around to find that warm knowing smile of understanding. Someone, to tell you it is going to be okay, to hang in there. Lucky for us, in this country so far away from home, we found two such beautiful people who ‘fostered’ us.

I still smile at the memory of them being mindful that Indian homes don’t often allow outside footwear into their houses.

We are lucky to be living in a vicinity where we have octogenarian neighbors. The rare occasion they take us up on our offer for a cuppa and chin wag (Aussie for a chat), they are conscious of taking up our time as a young family. Still, grateful of the time we share with them.

Our chats are always very vibrant and full of stories of how much the place has changed since they moved in almost half a decade ago as newlyweds!

The very fact that they live alone at such and advanced age and manage their affairs is witness to their independent lifestyle devoid of expectations of their offspring or family. This probably is the starkest difference in our cultures. They are quite active and keep themselves engaged, reading, gardening and doing their recommended dose of exercises.

Spending time with them can be so rewarding. I come away enriched with either a life lesson or an age old recipe that would have otherwise perished with them. At the least, a funny anecdote that will continue to bring a smile to my face over the years.

Seniors Today

As I interact with seniors I realize that truly, as we grow we shed our inhibitions, our quest for material wealth, and our need for drama. We start to long for simpler things as we did when we were children. The basic needs for love, companionship, and attention once again take precedence.

I am also learning from seniors around me, that just because they are failing in health they are by no means dependent on anybody’s mercy. Their dignity intact, all they need from us is to make them feel cherished and useful.

Bridging The Generational Gap

I recently saw a thought of opening a day care in a retirement village. There could not have been a more mutually beneficial relationship. The little ones are just the medicine ‘elders’ need to feel young once again! The elders the guiding angels for the young-lings.

[bctt tweet=”The little ones medicine for elders and elders the guiding angels for the young-lings.” username=”contactrwc”]

Passing on the legacy of the beautiful traditions loaned to us and gently reminding our growing kids to be respectful towards the elderly will hold them in good stead. Seeing our parents eyes light up every time they are engulfed in a bear hug or the harmless ribbing my teenage son indulges with his Nana is so endearing, it never fails to bring a tear to my eye (I am laughing that hard!).

This is probably why grandparents and grandchildren make the best pairs. They understand each other beautifully and share a comradely that is often envied by us parents. The same set of people who we thought did not understand us when they were parents, now advocate the causes of our kids and champion them.

To spend time with grandparents or any elders and being blessed by them is truly special indeed. Life always comes a full circle!

Tina Miranda is an Office administration professional from Brisbane, Australia. Passionate about writing, cooking, travel and music. A mum to a teenager and tween pigeon pair. Like a lot of other migrant parents she is looking to belong while holding on to traditional values. To boast of having matured while still remaining the young carefree, blatant and audacious girl at heart, her favourite place to be is still in her parent’s embrace.

Fidget Spinners – Using Fads to Teach Kids 7 Core Values

June 8, 2017

by Aditi Wardhan Singh with No Comment Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

For me it happened overnight. The night before I saw the video of a father posting about his daughter’s joy on getting the “latest gadget”, the Fidget Spinners. The next morning, there were 4 kids at the bus stop spinning them. When I asked why were they taking toys to school, the response was, “They are allowed!”

Not knowing what to make of them, I took to Facebook and asked, ” Yay or Nay” and most parents said, Yay! No one had an answer for why though. Except a parent of a child on the autism spectrum who truly witnessed their child benefitting from the use.

A week later though, reports of the same being banned and teachers’ requests to please keep the toys limited to recess or better yet home started pouring in. Psychologists started coming out saying, there is no substantial proof to the claims that the fidget spinners improve focus at all!

This phenomenon is not new. We saw the same with Pokemon, Hatchimals, Tickle Elmo etc. A new toy comes into the market, with a cool gimmick attached to it. In this case, “helping kids focus” and before you know it herd mentality of trying the “new thing” and over use causes the same to become a nuisance.

There’s always a thin line dividing the appropriate and the inappropriate. There seems to be an inherent loss of awareness of where that line is among the current generation. Humans are attracted to constant instant gratification, which can easily make things go out of control.

Nurturing a basic instinct of responsibility is paramount for success in life and that doesn’t just apply to games!

The crux is to recognize that simple rules or actions like the ones below instill the importance of moderation and self control.

Avoiding Peer Pressure

Sure, all the kids are getting them. But is your child asking for them? Mine didn’t. He said, ” It just spins. ” When we as parents get onto the band wagon of the latest trend just because others are doing it, we subconsciously teach the kids that it’s okay to follow. When in fact, we need to create thought leaders. Lead by example that it is okay to be different and have different choices than those around you, even your friends.

Understanding The Trend

What was interesting to note though was that even parents were actively discussing with 5-10 year olds on whose fidget spinner was the best and why. While I am totally in for parents being in the know about what is “cool” to the kids these days, I draw the line at getting pulled into the wave of blind fascination and needless competition that goes along with it.

If you as parent feel any latest fad would be useful for your child, discuss the same with them. Explain why they personally are getting the toy/gadget. What need of theirs is it fulfilling? This helps them understand what trend to follow and what to leave behind.

Establish Rules of Use

Teaching kids a key skill of doing things in moderation is important. By this I refer to the fact that when I asked kids why they were taking toys to school, most answered. ” They are allowed. ” Even if something is allowed in school, we as parents need to ensure that the children have limited use of the said item. The rules of use can be as simple as –

Do not use the gadget while in school.
Do not play with the video game more than x minutes at a time.

Defiance Need Not Be Rewarded

You don’t want to say yes but they throw a tantrum and say, ” Everyone has it! ” Saying no and hearing them cry, while frustrating is good for their resilience.

Yes, it is embarrassing and makes us hot in our face to have them throw a tantrum specially in the middle of a store. Brave through it because every other parent around you understands and the kids get a lesson by association. They learn that it is not the end of the world if they do not get in on a trend.

What To Spend Money On

Children understand much more than we give them credit for. It may seem they are too young for it, but understanding the Why of what you as a parent are willing to spend money on gets them thinking of the importance of spending in the right place, at the right time. It’s not about the amount but the use of the item bought.

Make Them World Conscious

Make your children world wary. Share with them trends and stories from around the world. Discuss with them the dangers and positive outcome of each internet challenge, latest gadget, new fad etc. This gets their thinking gears moving and makes them aware of moral values, real world consequences and gives them a good directional thinking.

Every chance you get. Reading to them. Telling them about your childhood experiences even helps.

Getting Bored Is Okay

How often have you said or heard, ” They played more with the box than the toy that came with it.” ?

Let them think of ways to entertain themselves. Lots of time for free play, supervised and unsupervised. Unstructured play allows them to know how to keep themselves safe while keeping themselves entertained.

My favorite story was that of a child who starting making and selling his own Fidget Spinners when he couldn’t find where to buy them! To my immense pride (and relief) my own son never asked for one, but wondering about the use eventually tried and succeeding in making the same from Legos.

Games, toys and trends have their own place in our social and mental growth but doing anything blindly, just because everyone else is doing it sends the wrong message to the youth. We need to nurture them to be self reliant in understanding core values of moderation and self control!

Raising World Children NBC 12 — Featured on NBC12 RVA Parenting

Leaving the Nine-to-Five to Staying Up At Dawn

June 7, 2017

by Minali Bajaj Syed with One Comment Contemporary Empowerment Parenting Voices

At work, it was a norm to take a maternity leave from the 7th or 8th month onward. I think this was more of a working women culture than a pregnancy requirement. I, though was working all through my pregnancy until the weekend before I had my first born.

My friends and colleagues would often ask when I would be going on a maternity leave. But since I was enjoying a smooth and active pregnancy (thank God for that), I did not feel the need to stay home just yet. A lot of people though wondered why was I still driving, why was I walking around etc. It almost felt like some of those people were intimidated by a pregnant woman!

A few days before I was to deliver a co-worker had the gall to say that I looked pregnant and I shouldn’t be walking long distances. To which I replied, “I am just hiding a watermelon under my dress.” I cherish the blank expression to this day Ha!

When my daughter was finally born, like every new mother, I was mesmerized. I enjoyed changing diapers as much as I enjoyed the sleepless nights (really, no kidding!). I would stay up awake all night taking pictures and videos of her cuteness.

Going back to work was the last thing on my mind. I was enjoying having no routine and no agenda, just my baby beside me. I went from working at a desk all day to sleeping at dawn!

Work or Not to Work – That is The Question

Fast forward to two and a half months later. The thought of leaving my child gave me butterflies in my stomach. I had discussions with my husband, my family, my friends and most women I met (Ha!). I just wasn’t sure what I wanted at that point of time.

Most working women said that it would be great to continue working and not give up on a career. Similarly, a lot of housewives expected me to become a ‘domestic queen’ post motherhood (or marriage for that fact!) And then there were a few raised eyebrows with the stereotypical question about who is going to watch the baby if I continue working.

Finally, (thank God!) there were a few people who echoed my sentiments of seeing how I feel once I am back to work.

It is then when I realized that one of the most comforting thing for a pregnant woman or new-mother was ‘less advice’ and ‘less expectations’.

I realized unfortunately, it is WOMEN who set expectations, raise the bar, set norms, and decide what is right or wrong for other women, based on their own experiences or insecurities. Sigh!! And this isn’t something that exists only in my culture. In fact, a lot of women globally echoed the same thoughts.

I know since I discussed this with a lot of moms in pregnancy and new-mother forums.

Back At Work And How !

After a lot of unnecessary thinking and sleepless nights (not because of the baby this time), finally it was time to get back to work. The idea of going back to work and resigning in a few months seemed to get the popular vote. So I went with the flow and remember going to work looking like I wasn’t pregnant ever.

I enjoyed the congratulatory hugs, showing my baby’s pictures, answering every question about what labor feels like, about not taking epidural and so on. I was really having fun being the center of attention that day. Yayyy!

Two and a half hours later, I was with my manager in the meeting room expressing my wish to resign that VERY day. All the reasoning and discussions about resigning a month later or three months later or never went out of the window.

In retrospect, sharing the excitement and talking about my baby made me miss her even more.

My manager asked me if I was sure and I replied in the positive. He said the only reason why he was letting me go was because I was leaving to take charge of a better task. He knew that I was moving on to an even more important role. His words made my decision feel even more right! (God bless him.)

I came home that day from work dancing and jumping with joy, after handing in my resignation (no exaggerations!) I hugged my baby so hard and knew that this is it…this is what I WANTED!

I wanted to spend all my minutes and seconds being her mommy. And this was the beginning of my new role, as a full-time mother with no weekends off, no monthly salary, and no deadlines to meet…only incentives forever.

Full-time Motherhood

It has been 8 years! Quitting my job to become a hands-on mother is something I have never regretted. In fact, I feel it was one of the best and most life-changing decisions I have ever made. I did not miss anything being at home, but being at work, I missed my baby the most.

Life after leaving the job was (and still is) a lot of fun and opened up so many different avenues for me.

I started a baking business from home, became an expert in cooking and shared my recipes with the world! I traveled to India 7-8 times in a year, attended weddings (something I had always wanted to do), signed up for baking classes and did so much more than before in a span of 24 hours. My life was so much more well rounded than before! Now I have a Bachelors in Education and am currently studying for a certification in food and health.

When I was in India though, most women I knew were surprised at the fact that I didn’t have a nanny or a full-time maid for my child. Some women thought I was probably being naive and didn’t care enough for my child to think that I needed a helping hand. Can you imagine?!?

My daughter was getting all the love a mother could give a child. But that didn’t seem enough to some.

A woman in any culture and any part of the world should do exactly what makes her happy. If going back to work post pregnancy is going to keep your sanity, then do just that. If keeping a nanny would give you some extra rest and time, then you are not wrong in looking out for yourself.

Similarly, women who are housewives or full-time mothers should be allowed to take pride in their roles. Really, there are many women out there who enjoy looking after a home. Either ways, if we let go of living up to others expectations and don’t follow things just to fit in, we will enjoy this journey of being ME even more.

Even today, whenever I meet a new person, the next question that pops up after the introduction is “are you working?” To which I reply, “Yes, I am a full-time mom to two wonderful kids and they keep me busy all day.”

In the past 8 years, I went from working behind a desk to having sleepless nights and going to bed at dawn. And today, I wake up at dawn to make sure that my kids are ready in time, to be at their school desks all fresh and happy. From desk to dawn and vice versa, Motherhood surely has made my life come to be a full circle!

Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, She has had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. She thus, considers herself a global citizen. She is always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivism. On most days, she is a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom.

Being An Interfaith Family – My Story After Kids

June 5, 2017

by Featured Guest with One Comment Empowerment Heritage Parenting Voices

It took a letter to a bishop and a mountain of paperwork to marry my husband. He’s Catholic; I’m Methodist.

Both are Christian religions, so I’m hesitant to even call us an interfaith family, but you would be surprised how different we are. Years ago, I would have had to convert to be married “in the Church” as it’s called. Instead, I went to classes, met with a priest, and—here’s the kicker—agreed to raise my future children Catholic.

In Southwest Virginia, where I was raised, Catholics were a mysterious “other”. I knew Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, and Baptists of all varieties. However, it was more common to find someone who believed in speaking in tongues than the literal transformation of bread and wine to blood and flesh.

I had exactly one self-identifying Catholic classmate. She and her siblings represented my sum knowledge of the entire religion. “She’s Catholic,” people would whisper.

Years later, I had to break the news to my family that I was not only dating a Yankee, but a Catholic. Fortunately, he’s a likable guy, so when he asked my dad for permission to marry me, my father said Okay. (Yes, I know, it’s the 21st century. No, not asking was not an option.)

We planned a wedding that incorporated both our faiths, performed by a Catholic priest (my husband’s uncle) in a Methodist Church. The entire thing was fraught with confusion.

“Why don’t you get married outside?” my mom asked.

“Because you have to perform the ceremony in a church,” I answered. “Sacred ground or something.”

“The outdoors—made by God—isn’t sacred enough?”

At the rehearsal, the priest told the bridesmaids to reverence the cross. They looked at him blankly. When he learned there were no chairs for the bride and groom to sit in during the ceremony, he looked like we were speaking in tongues. “Do you plan to stand the entire time?” he asked.

“It usually only takes twenty minutes,” I said. My bridesmaids nodded.

“My homily is that long,” he said. “I guess I can cut it down.” and we survived the wedding just fine!

When The Children Came

We breezed along just fine as an interfaith couple—mostly because we spent very little of our 20s attending any church. But when our children arrived, the slight differences in our faiths became more and more pronounced.

My family members could not serve as official godparents to my daughters. Instead, we had to select one Catholic godparent and relegate my family to the role of spiritual advisers. The distinction – though subtle – ruffled me quite a bit.

In an effort to “raise our kids Catholic,” we began attending mass. I became more and more irritated each time I had to stand in the aisle while the rest of my family went up for communion. I attend mass more than most Catholics, but there I was waiting for everyone to walk past me—or worse, climb over me.

Someone eventually realized how alienating this could be, and my local church now allows those not receiving communion to walk forward, cross their arms, place them against their chest, and receive a blessing from the priest.

Young children receive this same blessing before they’re old enough for their First Communion. I’m happy to see some inclusive progress. This year, however, marked the biggest hurdle in our interfaith happiness with my oldest daughter starting Catholic education classes.

It came to me to drive her to church after school every Monday. I had to ensure she completed every homework assignment, the answers to which I sometimes didn’t know. “Ask your father,” I’d say. “I’m not Catholic.”

After asking a question about Penitence or Purgatory, she asked where Jesus was from.

“Bethlehem,” my husband answered.

“Seriously?” I said. “Your parents paid for nine years of private Catholic school and that’s the best you can come up with? Jesus was from Nazareth.”

“Mommy, you don’t believe in Jesus,” my daughter said.

My mouth fell open as various snarky responses flew through my head ! My husband corrected her but the more my daughter learned about Catholicism, the less she seemed to understand me.

I worry what she will think next year when we walk to the front of the church and she receives a communion wafer, and I, like her little sister, wait as the priest makes the sign of the cross on my forehead.

In some ways, my religion is too similar to hers to explain the differences. She will only know this: My mom is not like the rest of us. Will she think I am somehow less? I often worry that if we’re not careful, I may become “the other” in my own family.

[bctt tweet=”Being a part of an interfaith family was not an issue … until we had kids! ” username=”contactrwc”]

My hope though is that being raised in an interfaith household will make my daughters more open minded and accepting of other religions—just as being in an interfaith marriage has helped me embrace differences.

Though a Southerner at heart, Kathryn Hively lives with her husband and two young daughters in New Jersey. Her blog Just BE Parenting promotes non-judgmental parenting and celebrates families in all forms. You can find her on Twitter here when she’s avoiding the dishes. Her work has also appeared in Scary Mommy, mom.me, Ravishly, and the Mighty, among others.