Is it really essential to be a secular being?

Is it really essential to be a secular being?

by with 10 Comments ContemporaryfestivalsFoodKids CornerParentingVoices
Or is it all just a hype ? 

In the fast paced modern society, when everything is changing so rapidly, I think it’s our obligation to make us as well as our family, more flexible, more adjustable so as to be more compatible with the norms of the society. The migration of people from one part of the world to another has also become one such norm.

Whether in search of job or to earn more money or just for a change or for their families or for any other reason, people today are not reluctant in making a change. Though the world is a small place, still the cultures, customs and traditions are quite different in each and every part, whether it’s within a particular country or outside a country.

In this age, the idea of being secular becomes essential.

When you respect each and every religion along with its customs –

–You’ll be able to mingle up with the residents of that place and definitely feel one amongst them.

–You’ll be joyful throughout as you can take part in their celebrations too , with full energy and enthusiasm.

–You’ll never be aloof or desserted in the hour of need as there’ll be a support system for you with whom you can share your griefs and sorrows.

–You can have celebrations round the year, thus leaving little or no room for negativity.

–And most importantly, you’ll also have a chance to spread your fragrance too.

Having no idea of tomorrow, I make it a point to teach or discuss various festivals with my kids so as to make them a responsible and a compassionate being. But, it was not easy initially as the obsolete but important question—

How to give them knowledge when I myself was not aware of most of the facts?                 

But it’s said-Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And in the process of finding the answer to the above question, I also became a ‘Learner’. And that helped me a lot, even helping now.

What I did was—

–I educated myself about the particular festival. For example, if about Christmas, I learnt about its origin and importance through books and internet, of course.

–I got myself involved with the members of the particular community, who used to celebrate it and learnt to make the dishes and little things related to that festival. Like for Christmas, I learnt to make Christmas tree, bells and Christmas cake. Once we even made the snowman. And believe me, the experience was ecstatic.

–I even learnt some stories to narrate to my children about that festival. For Christmas, I learnt the story about Jesus Christ .

–And nothing is complete until you give your imagination, some colorful wings. So for Christmas, I created an imaginary Santa in my kids’ mind who would give them chocolates on 25th December. And it worked. Just after getting up, they look for their chocolates under their pillows. They thank Santa for the chocolates and relish the experience that they get from these little things whenever we come across any Christian family as they never feel left behind.

That’s why I feel it’s the feeling, the empathy towards any religion that matters a lot which only, we as parents can instill in the little hearts of our children .What they develop is faith, which they’ll definitely cherish later.

How Do We Achieve A Goal When We Have No Knowledge Of The World | Raising World Children | Parenting | family | kids | teaching Kids

  Ruchika Rastogi, an Indian who was born and brought up in Delhi. She loves to explore the unexplored. A mother of two lovely kids, she works as a teacher and her passion for writing has helped her survive during her hard times. Her first non fiction book got published last year with the name-A Mystical Majesty-the woman. As a contributing author, her anthology with the title–Wait Till I Tell You got launched recently. With dreams in her eyes, she believes in living life optimistically.
When My Oldest Moved to College

When My Oldest Moved to College

by with 16 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

I sat there, going over my list again. I wanted to be absolutely sure my oldest, Mr. 19, would have everything he needed for college. I’d been preparing myself for this moment since before he could walk or talk, knowing that children are only children for so long and that eventually even the littlest of birdies would leave the nest. It’s funny, because when he was six, he used to curl up in the Papasan chair I kept in my office with his Beanie Baby collection, and tweet at me while I worked on papers for classes. He called the chair his nest, and his stuffed animals his “birdies.”

And here we were, thirteen years later, long past the time when it’s acceptable for a child to want to snuggle, with him with his head on my shoulder and me sharing blankly ahead. It had all gone so fast! How did it go so fast? How did 19 years just fly by? I half-joked, “You could always go to college here.” We both laughed and then he headed upstairs for one more sleep as a full-time resident of our home. We’d packed as much as we would be able to safely fit into the van for this trip, and it would be a long drive with me navigating for my husband the next day.

Just the Two of Us

For the longest time, I was a single mom. We had each other’s backs. I would let him stay up late and play board games on a Friday night. We’d go and check out the local bowling alley together when we got too bored around the house. I’d drag him along to a coffee shop where I’d meet friends to study or I’d head for a change of venue to write. It felt like it was the two of us against the world, and I had my lists. Oh, I had my lists.

Lists of books to read, lists of things to teach before he went off to college and out into the world, lists of must-have childhood experiences, lists of places to go, lists, lists, lists. When I pulled him out of public school in second grade to homeschool him, the lists multiplied. I had lists of subjects and lists of topics within those subjects, I had lists of field trips, and I had lists of college requirements.

And Dad Makes Three

When I met my husband, I had no idea that he’d be my husband. We quickly became friends. It was my general practice to not introduce people I dated to my oldest. I had no intentions of dating my now-husband, so he quickly became part of the circle. And we quickly fell in love. When we moved in together, my husband asked my son how he felt about him becoming his stepdad. My son responded, “That’s great! But lose the step. You’ll just be my dad.”

And so it went. He gained a dad; my husband gained a son, and we continued our board game adventures, now adding three-player games into the mix.

A Few Siblings and a Lot of College Prep

My oldest returned to public school in 8th grade, and quickly made it clear that he had big dreams of going off to college. I’d been preparing him for it since he was little, so it was no surprise to me. He fell in love with a small school in Iowa upon receiving a brochure from them advertising their school when he was a freshman. It’s funny, but that’s exactly the one place, other than the local university, where he applied, and not only did he get in, he got in with scholarships. Senior year became about me wrapping my mind, more and more, around the fact that my tiny sweet baby had now grown into a young man and soon he would be off, making his own life for himself.

What it's like when kids go to college | Raising World Children | Parenting | family | Empty Nest

And Then it Hit… Like a Horseshoe to the Face

I was preparing myself all summer. He had his first real part-time job at the grocery store. He was very busy. We tried to play as many board games as possible, watch movies together, have him spend as much time as possible with his three new younger siblings.  We had shopping for dorm essentials on the calendar, and then it happened – we got a call that he’d been accepted into a special program that would have him leaving for college a week earlier than what we’d planned.

I may have fallen apart just a little bit. Instead of getting to spend time with him as had been planned, I now had to say goodbye a week earlier – and we wouldn’t get to see any of the welcome to college events that the school had planned.

It felt like someone had thrown a horseshoe directly to my face. The moment I’d been preparing myself for for 19 years was coming earlier than expected and in a different way than expected, and as anyone who knows me knows, I don’t do well with the unexpected.

We drove to his school, had a tantrum-filled dinner as his send-off, and though some may disagree, we opened a bottle of wine and let him have a glass. He was embarking upon a new journey (and I wanted him to know what a little bit of alcohol felt like in his body in a controlled environment before peer pressure and college parties kicked in). We got his much-needed dorm room supplies, and helped him move his belongings in. We hugged. He walked to the dorms and we pulled out of the parking lot – with me in tears. I would be missing his birthday for the first time ever.

The Hot Mess Phase

I had planned all sorts of things when we got home – starting my 3 1/2 year old’s pre-kindergarten work, lots of fun toddler activities, sewing projects and blog tours. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t sew. I couldn’t teach. I could just sit and stare and maintain. It didn’t help that I was also fighting off postpartum depression from the birth of my now 6-month old. I didn’t show up for my self-imposed runs in preparation for the 5k I’d signed up for. I didn’t write other than to keep my paying clients satisfied with my work. I didn’t tend to the house or laundry. I cried. I cried a lot.

Nothing in the 19 years of being a mom prepared me for the depth of grief mixed with pride and excitement that I would feel when my child launched for college. Of course I was happy for him – here he was – he’d done it; he’d made it. But I was completely taken aback by the sadness I felt knowing that my oldest – the one I’d done a lot of growing up with – was now an adult and although he’d come home for holidays and perhaps summers, he was out on his own.

Pulling It All Together

I continued like this, putting together care packages, counting down the days until Thanksgiving break, when we had the chance to go visit him for parent’s weekend. We went up. We got to meet his girlfriend and his roommate. We got to see that he was happy and doing well and navigating this whole adulting thing pretty well.

I felt less sad and broken on the drive home after. He was doing well with his debate team, doing well with theater stuff, doing well. He wasn’t being all work and no play – one of my biggest fears for him. He was getting out and being social with his classmates. I was able to relax. I was able to come home and do more and start to get back to where I was at the beginning of August.

Know that if you’re child is heading off, it will be a change. Things still don’t feel right. I struggled with Halloween and decorating for it this year. It was hard to feel like I wanted to do my usual go-all-out for the holiday thing that I do, but we still had fun. Know that you’re not alone. A lot of people feel this way when it comes to adapting to the change.

I still get out an extra plate and bowl for him if I’m tired and serving dinner – because I’m on autopilot, and for 19 years I also worried about making sure he ate and was well. I couldn’t be prouder of him. I also couldn’t be counting down the minutes until Thanksgiving break more excitedly.

Have you had to say bye to your little one all grown up? What was it like for you?

 

 

Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.
Breaking Generational Parenting Trends

Breaking Generational Parenting Trends

by with No Comment ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

Think about it. How many times have you said a phrase or reprimanded your kids and thought, “My mom used to say the same thing!” Or done something in such a way that it reminded you of your dad?

It’s because we tend to mimic our greatest influences and in most families, our greatest influences are our parents. 

And this can be both good and bad. Because while we pass down positive traits and habits, we can also pass down negative ones.

Am I Turning Into My Mom ? Learn To Recognize and Break the Patterns of Generational Parenting | Raising World Children | Family | Parenting Tips | Parenting skills

Influences of Generational Parenting 

I grew up in a family that didn’t hug often. My mom was critical, and wasn’t one to hide her disappointment. And as a growing child, it hurt me. I took that negativity and looked inward, always wondering what was wrong with me.

Only now as an adult do I see the connection between how my mom treated me and how she was treated by her mom.

My grandmother was never the emotional type. I don’t remember her ever using the words “I love you.” She demanded perfection and didn’t ever want to appear as anything less. And as part of the family, anything different or less than perfect was looked down on.

And to my grandmother, my mom was different. I know my mom had some awareness of how she was treated. And that she did not like it and did not want to be like her mom.

Unfortunately, passed down traits, the ones we pick up and learn throughout our lives, can be very hard to reprogram.

While I can see some of the differences in the way my mom parented and the way she was parented, I also saw many of the similarities.

And this is something that is very common in people who have been hurt themselves. They go on to do very similar things. Because hurt people tend to hurt other people.

While I’m very aware of how I treat my kids, I may still say something out of frustration. Or I may yell more than I intended to. And of course, there’s always some guilt after and a lot of apologizing and hugs, but I do often wish my initial reaction was different.

How To Break The Pattern 

Generational Parenting

So how can we change this? How can be reprogram ourselves to not repeat the patterns that once hurt us?

It starts with awareness. Awareness of not just the way we parent now, but also of the way were brought up.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What was my childhood experience like? Was it mostly good or bad?
  • How has it affected my life today? (This one may take some deeper work. For example, if you often heard children should be seen and not heard, perhaps you still feel the need to keep quiet and not voice your opinions. If someone told you that you were shy, you likely still feel like you are, maybe even using your shyness as an excuse to NOT do things. If you were told you couldn’t accomplish things, you may have a tendency to hold yourself back and not try new things now.)
  • Are there any feelings you had as a child that you hope your own children never have to feel?
  • Is there anything my parents did that I know I do NOT want to do?
  • What kind of parent do I want to be?

This may take some journaling and looking deep into your past. I want to encourage you to think of anything that seems out of the ordinary. Maybe you remember comparing your parents to your friend’s parents. I want you to remember these thoughts and remember those feelings. There must have been something in that instance that made you long for something different.

And this may take some time. Facing our past isn’t always the easiest. And sometimes we are too closed off and emotional disconnected from our experiences to see how not normal they really were.

These questions are meant to bring you to a new awareness. When we’re aware of our own past, we have a much better chance of changing the present and the future.

Here’s the thing about parents and parenting. I do think that our parents did the best they could with what they knew, just as we are doing today. But I also believe that parenting tactics and styles can easily get passed down when we’re not aware of them. Luckily, with a little awareness, we can make conscious decisions to change things.

What are some parenting traits your parents have passed onto you ?

 

Corinne Kerston is an intuitive parent empowerment coach who helps moms who are struggling with kids who don’t listen, throw tantrums and act out. She helps them eliminate the yelling, scolding and resulting mom guilt that comes from it. If you’d liked to learn more about how Corinne can help you understand and positively parent your own children, schedule a free 30-minute call here.

Using Potty Training To Develop Early Core Values

by with No Comment ContemporaryEmpowermentVoices

Hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence are all qualities parents want to teach their children. We take them seriously. But most parents don’t think those are taught in the bathroom. That sounds silly. The truth is that the potty training stage is vital to building strong, capable children and lasting, solid relationships between parent and child.

You’ve taken the time to catch the coos and snag the snuggles. You rejoiced when baby rolled over and again when they took their first steps. But, the stinky messes at diaper change don’t garner the same praise or smiles, do they?

Yet, this process is certainly natural and the time you invest in your child transitioning from passive diaper filling to purposeful potty filling can boost your child’s self-esteem, deepen your relationship and, quite unexpectedly, be really fun.

So how does a parent make a party out of poop and pee? There are several things that you can incorporate into the process. All the things that toddlers enjoy in other rooms, they enjoy in the bathroom. Books, dolls, rhythms and quality time with you are all transferable to the bathroom. And as much as we were taught not to have a potty mouth, it is actually helpful to talk about the bathroom in other rooms.

That potty talk can take place in many ways. Good books exist to help put words in the mouths of parents unsure of how to start the potty dialogue. Adding such a book to the daily reading routine will help introduce the idea to both you and your child. Dolls are quite useful, too, not only adding a level of play, but also adding companionship. Dolls have a secret power, too. As you teach your child about anything, including potty training, encourage him to instruct the doll. As he tells the doll, what he understands and doesn’t understand, will become clear. Dolls are like mirrors reflecting your child’s understanding. If what you hear reminds you more of a funhouse mirror, try teaching that part again. Your child can’t do correctly what he doesn’t understand.

A successful process certainly begins with a great deal of support. And support is spelled t-i-m-e. You will spend time reading books, playing with dolls and maybe even singing bathroom themed songs.

What more can you do? You can take your child to the bathroom – when you use the potty. Narrating your “experience” might be awkward but it’s normal for your child. They are used to hearing his entire life narrated:

“Look at Katie walk!”
“Is Ayla eating with a spoon?”
“Andy is sitting like a big boy on the potty!”

We don’t usually exit the bathroom and announce proudly, “I made a poop in the potty and I washed my hands after!” But, your child will find that statement fun and encouraging. Why? Because as adults we see the bathroom as more of a library than an auditorium, but for a child “all the world’s a stage”. While you can use the bathroom several times a day without giving it a thought, this process is awkward for most children. It’s not like you let them poop into any other chair in the house.

And to be honest, that toilet flush is loud and not a little creepy, right?. Potty training is a very transitional and empowering time in a child’s life. This is the first physical accomplishment that they are attempting to master since walking and requires much more control, awareness, detail and sequencing.

Being in the bathroom with you for your assorted “accomplishments” will be a great learning tool, too. They can sit on thier little potty while you assume the throne. When you wipe and flush, so can they. You can wash and dry your hands together.

Doing this together several times a day will help reinforce that this is a natural process that everyone does and makes muscle memory for the sequence of wiping and flushing, wishing and drying. And whether or not they makes a deposit at the potty bank, allow your child to praise you for your job well done!

Through many attempts comes a success. And a string of successes becomes mastery. Your confidence is bestowed in praising the effort more than the outcome. While they sits on the potty, each moment of your time in conversation, reading a book, singing a song, or involving a doll will give her the patience to keep trying. It will also build her conviction that you will always be there to help her.

Some children take to potty training more quickly and some need more time. Some children have developmental delays and some have had trauma in their young lives and need even more support and patience.

The good news is that this often dreaded stage of parenting is really a great platform for the coming phases.

You and your child will set precedent for the learning process. Your child will learn how to trust you with other obstacles they face. Potty training isn’t just a physical accomplishment, it is emotionally empowering, too.

The openness you share will help build a more trusting relationship in the future. Your child will pass through life going from one accomplishment into the next challenge. Being the interactive, encouraging and inspiring parent at this phase will show your child that you will be all of those things in the next.

Don’t worry about how fast you get potty training done or get dragged into the “I trained my child faster” race. Successful potty training should not be defined not by how quickly it was done – but by how thoroughly it was done – by how happily it was done – by how the parent-child relationship blossomed in the process.

Done successfully, the achievement of toilet training will give your child confidence they can build on for a lifetime, and help them to develop those desired qualities of hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence.

How was your potty training experience over all? Do share the lessons you learned with us below. 

Jackie Leverton is the founder of Tot on the Pot. She and her husband combined their love  for kids and family, to create fun and meaningful activities, driving them forward every single day. So in an effort to help moms and dads enjoy every minute with their kids (even the crappy ones), they spent years crafting the perfect play based solution that would actually make kids want to adopt the potty as part of their routine.
How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

by with 8 Comments festivalsHeritageVoices

Perhaps, like myself, you’ve gotten curious about how Thanksgiving came to be. We all know the stories we learned in elementary school, about the Pilgrims celebrating the first Thanksgiving with the American Indians.

Presently, we celebrate by serving turkey (and crafting turkeys! Remember all the different ways our teachers came up with constructing turkeys for us to create through the years?), we dine on stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, and I can’t forget the unusual family favorite, cranberry sauce.

What WAS Thanksgiving Like ? 

But my curiosity ran deeper than that. When WAS the first Thanksgiving? What was it REALLY like? Did the Pilgrims dress like the images we depicted in our drawings? With the women in matronly dresses wearing the bonnets on their heads? And the men with formal three piece blue or gray suits and wearing tall hats?

I was out to find the TRUTH. What really happened all those years ago? So I Googled “The history of American Thanksgiving,” which of course, brought back thousands of hits.

I sought out, what I felt, were reputable sources, the History Channel and MayflowerHistory.com and with pen and paper in hand, began feverishly writing down what I found. According to them, the first Thanksgiving occurred in 1621 with the Wampanoag Indian Tribe.

It was a celebration of an abundant autumn harvest where the Wampanoag had given lessons to the Pilgrims on how to enhance their crops growth. Some of the crops, according to written account by William Bradford, the governor at that time, were wheat, barley, peas Indian corn and another variety called flint corn. But contrary to our present meals including mashed potatoes and gravy, potatoes had yet to be introduced to the colonies.

The meal was also rich in fruits and berries, from mother nature’s own harvest. As far as the plentiful types of meats which were served, of which turkey was one of them, there were also multiple types of fish, mussels, lobster and a variety of water fowl. Another type of meat which was served was venison, or the meat from the deer.

It’s interesting to me how of all of the large variety of foods served in 1621, our traditional Thanksgiving meals are typically comprised of turkey dinners.

Thanksgiving Becomes A Tradition 

Also, as it turns out, this first Thanksgiving didn’t go by that name, and it also wasn’t an annual event. It wasn’t until almost 200 years later, in the mid 1800’s, that it became celebrated annually in a just few of the state’s and colonies. And it didn’t have a preset annual date, like we have now.

It came after particularly great fall harvests. Some of our presidents, such as George Washington, John Adams and James Madison called for having a day of Thanksgiving, but once again, the celebrations were sporadic.

But it was a woman named Sarah Josepha Hale, the author of the classic poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” who relentlessly devoted 36 years of her life writing letters to various large newspapers in the 1800’s and letters of request to every president elected and reigning in that time, pleading for a day of thanks to be annually celebrated in honor of that first meal in Plymouth, Massachusetts in 1621.

It was President Abraham Lincoln who finally took her words to heart and in 1863 made Thanksgiving a national holiday. His hopes, at the time, were to bring together all of America’s citizens during the dreadful times of the Civil War. It wasn’t until much later that the last Thursday in November was the date to be devoted to the holiday.

The Story of Squanto – The Real Giving

As I delved in farther to the history of Thanksgiving, I found a website created by the Manataka American Indian Council giving their own account of that first Thanksgiving almost 400 years ago and their depiction is dramatically different in many ways. They write about the Pilgrims bringing the small pox virus to their land, in which a good many of the Indians couldn’t survive. The Pilgrims, believing they were coming to a new free land, where they would be able to stake their claims to land where ever they pleased, actually brought on wars which slaughtered many more of the American Indian tribes… And much of those who did survive were allowed to live only to become slaves to the Pilgrims.

But there was one Indian in particular named Squanto, who came to learn the English language, taught many of the Pilgrims what he knew about hunting, fishing, and growing an abundant harvest. And it was Squanto who initiated and and brought together the new people of their land and the Wampanoag Indians with a treaty. It was following the first full year of honoring this treaty that the Wampanoag and the Pilgrims celebrated by giving thanks.

The account given by the Wampanoag does continue to tell the stories of boatloads of new settlers coming to the new country creating havoc by taking over the Indian’s land and enslaving many. As you can see, this side tells a vastly different story than that of people like William Bradford’s account and I’m curious to know who’s account is more accurate? Perhaps it was somewhere in between?

Thanksgiving Today

At any rate, these days, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving by honoring the people and occasions in their lives they’re grateful for. The majority of families celebrate by bringing extended families together and sharing the traditional turkey dinner. Everyone eats way too much food causing them to loosen their belt buckles or simply undo the snap of their slacks (as for me, I learned a long time ago to wear pants with an elastic waistband to our Thanksgiving meal).

Many of us even perform the ritual of going around the table and enjoying listening to each person recite some of the things their thankful for. Another traditional event which happens every Thanksgiving is that the television is almost always turned on as everyone’s eyes are glued to their sets watching a full day of football.

Americans also celebrate this day every year with parades. Cities and towns big and small, across the country bring communities together with a parade full of floats, in which volunteers work extremely long hours to create something new and innovative. They’re built on trailers of various sizes and pulled by cars, trucks, motorcycles, tractors…

Some are even built right atop these vehicles. High school marching bands march along in formation, rock, jazz and other musicians play, sometimes marching along, sometimes having their instruments and microphones set up upon flatbed trailers. You can find clowns often tossing candies to the children, Future Farmers of America groups, and veteran groups marching with pride, I’ve even seen bagpipes and fife bands. You might find people walking on stilts, riding on unicycles, and who knows what else!

You never know what fun and interesting groups each community has to offer. But I can promise you a great experience. If you’re not from America, and are contemplating a visit, during the Thanksgiving holidays is an awesome time to do it. Please, come and experience how the city or town and family your visiting, celebrates this American historical holiday.

Each will offer you a local parade they’ve made uniquely their own, a delicious and filling meal, and after dinner, you get to kick back in a recliner, let your very full stomach settle from all the food you just ate, and watch how maniacal we Americans can get as we watch our favorite teams vie together in the football game on television. And just when you think the meal is over and there’s absolutely no way you possibly eat another bite… a plate of pumpkin pie appears in your hands, and surprisingly you eat a little more.

If you’re from America, I’d love to hear about how your family celebrates Thanksgiving, and those from abroad, I’d also love to hear from you too. Does your country or culture have a holiday inspired by giving thanks for what you have? What time of year is it celebrated and how?

I’m so incredibly curious to learn about how different families, different countries and different cultures come together and celebrate. Please feel free to write about it to me in the comment section below.

The Real Story of How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition in America | Raising World Children | Stories for Kids

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy

7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy

by with 11 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentnbc12ParentingVoices

I read the headline. Mass shooting in Texas. My throat constricts. My heart beat stops. I look at the number of people who died, and my eyes well up imagining what their families will be going through in the next few hours.

This has been a vicious repeated cycle of despair recently. What a horror filled end of year it’s been! Hurricanes, acts of terrorism, mass shootings have left families reeling under the possibility of tragedy slamming into their lives at a moment’s notice.

Lost links. Hearts broken. Lives forever changed!

Highly sensitive people like me, specially those who have experienced loss earlier and are now parents, imagine what it would be like be in that situation again. We constantly look over our shoulder, anticipating danger. Prepare for what we would do, should we feel threatened. We scour information for how to try to stay safe and avoid public places that might be an easy target.

For acts of God, we make endless lists and prep our homes for eventualities.

Through all this, I worry about what future our children holds. Are we preparing them enough for what is to come. Even worse, what might come.

Harsh Reality For Kids Today

A few weeks ago, my son told me about a drill they do at school. He explained to me what they would do if a “mean man” came to the school wanting to do bad things. We don’t watch the news in our home. So, I don’t think he yet knows the actual implications of what will happen to him.  My heart fills with fear (is an understatement)  at the thought of him and his adorable little friends who come home often ever having to go through that drill in reality.

What a sad world we live in where we need to prepare our kids for such circumstances! But taking the school’s lead, in spite of how nauseous as the thought of it makes me I have to prepare my kids to the best of my ability to be ready in such cases. 

[bctt tweet=”6 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy” username=”contactrwc”]

7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy | Prepare Kids For Tragedy | Disaster Preparation for kids

Have a Code Word

If your kids are anything like mine, they do not listen to anything you have to say easily. Talk to your kids about a word they think denotes urgency and that puts them on the alert for instructions to come.

Prep Them With Set of Instructions 

I’m a big believer in preparation. So make sure your kids know to Run, Hide, or do whatever it is that you ask them to do. I will not lay out a hard line for  you, because every child is different and needs a different set of instructions to follow. At school, kids mimic other kids. At home though, it is up to parents to gauge what detail of information your kids can process.

For example, in my home I say the below to my kids.

  • Listen to what mom dad or an authority figure says.
  • Stay with mom and dad no matter what.
  • It will be a very difficult situation so stay very quiet and listen hard.
  • There could be situation where we say Run then RUN!
  • Find a person in uniform and tell them your address and phone number.
  • If mom and dad are not there, call so and so and ask for help.

Teach Them About Emergency Needs

The school is wonderful at teaching kids the difference between needs and wants, but in tragic times, needs take on a different meaning. Teach them what a need is in case of a natural disaster, health emergency etc. If you can, prep a bag with bare necessities, and emergency care that they know where to look for.

Reiterate The Above Over And Over

Like everything else in life, this too needs practice. So, ensure to make your kids understand that the above is important and needs to be remembered.

Talk To Your Kids About Predators and Acts of God

My kids are super friendly. It has been a hard journey teaching them about how to figure out what a bad man does and how they should protect themselves.

It is even more difficult to explain to my fear filled son that a tornado is not something that comes randomly with every rainfall. Explaining to him the nature of weather and how hurricanes and other natural disasters has been helpful.

How To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy | Raising World Children | Empower

Be With Your Kids 

This seems like a no brainier but in the hustle of every day life, we often don’t get time to get in that extra snuggle time.

These are difficult times. More than anything, kids need to know they are safe and loved. My kids are sensitive so even when we talk about monster men or bad situations they get disturbed. Also, with information coming in from all quarters even if you protect your child from the media, they may have friends who talk to them about real events. Make sure to be present with your kids to stay connected to what’s going on in their little hearts.

Have open lines of communication always!

Take Actions For A Brighter Future 

Kids are always listening, observing and pick up on body language cues. While it is impossible to be positive all the time, we can teach kids to be empowered by being great examples our selves. In spite of such events, we need to hold onto hope and light the candle for our future generation.

Volunteer as much as you can. Vote for the right candidates. Have open dialogue about mental illness, drug use, relationships, peer pressure and current trends. Surround yourself with positive energies. 

Above all, ensure to do everything in your power to be a kind human being yourself! And do make sure to give your kids an extra tight on these disturbing days.

 What would you suggest we add to this list ? 

Featured on NBC12 News Website | Raising World Children |

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”
5 Awesome Travel Hacks When Traveling With Your Teens

The Power of A Family Circle

by with 5 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentVoices

Have you ever called an “emergency family meeting?” Did you gather in a circle around the kitchen table? Or huddle together on the couch? What prompted that meeting? Chances are it was a less than desirable circumstance or conflict. Perhaps it was a broken curfew, academic struggles, or a disrespectful outburst. Family challenges often prompt us to gather up, get talking, and fix problems.

What if your children associated “family meetings” or circles with honest, connected, nurturing communication, though? Not just problems!

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, I teach restorative circles to families with school-aged children. This powerful, co-created system for family-community-building and conflict management provides families with powerful, timeless, and healing tools.

Because family systems are constantly changing as the humans grow and evolve, this go-to system protects and supports family conversation, creates a strong foundation of trust, and encourages authentic connection. Using this method, you and you family will build positive associations with sitting in circles and talking about a wide range of family-based topics. Rather than expecting a lecture or a consequence during the “meeting,” your children and teens will experience “circles” as the rich soil from which the family cultivates love and understanding.

Restorative circles invite both parents and children of all ages to co-create the family environment and relationships together. It’s up to you, as the parent, to lead your family, yes, but this doesn’t mean you do it alone or without support. As you share the power of building your life together with your children, pressure and weight can be lifted. You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Likewise, as your children become more empowered, they engage in and create family dynamics with greater intention and investment. It’s a win-win, both in the short and long term.

“The fundamental unifying hypothesis of restorative practices is disarmingly simple: that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”

Peacemaking circles and restorative practices have roots in Native and indigenous cultures. This idea of gathering face to face is not new. However, being open to the wisdom of our ancestors and of the process of circling takes intention. We have different distractions, interruptions, and challenges in our lives; thus, it takes attention and purposeful action to create a strong foundation of community within the family unit.

Restorative circles offer families a framework for having open communication and bonding opportunities. If you commit, as a family, to having a weekly Family Building Circles, coming to circle in moments of conflict or difference will feel much more comfortable. Here, I offer you the core elements of Family Building Circles, along with the philosophy behind each aspect.

Core Elements Circle + The Philosophy of the Circle:

Circle- Circles have no end and no beginning. Each person’s seat place in the circle is equal to the next person’s and you can make eye contact with everyone in the circle. All members of the family circle sit at the same level, either floor or chair.  This is symbolic of shared and equal power. The circle itself indicates that all family members are worthy of the same respect; each member has the freedom and space to express themselves. “Circle” is also the name of the process of having an organized dialogue while sitting in circle.

Talking Piece- An object that can be safely and easily passed is the talking piece. It indicates that only one person will talk at a time; likewise, it denotes that all other members will actively listen when they don’t have the talking piece. The talking piece will always travel the circle in order, even if a member chooses to skip a round, which encourages focus, patience, and turn-taking. Talking pieces can be created or selected to watch the topic of each individual circle or they might be an item that the family relates to and holds dear.

Rounds– This is one pass around the circle in order. Family building circles are often pre-planned and focus on a single topic. A series of questions guide the family through intentional conversation and sharing. The talking piece regulates the round, giving each member equal opportunity to speak and be heard.

Values- What guides you and helps inform your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? What is most important to you? What do you hold dear? Family members name their values as a guide for how you will treat one another during the circle process (and moving forward from the circle). Values also establish safety norms for the conversation and the relationships.

Facilitator- All members of the family participate equally; however, one member may be the facilitator of a particular circle. The facilitator reads each prompt and helps ensure that circle norms are being respected. Facilitation is an opportunity for children to be leaders in their family.

As you begin using circles often with the intention of building family community, you will experience a growth in trust, communication, and openness. Then, when conflict arises, you already have a system and connected emotional history for dialoguing about how to transform and repair the hurt.

E-mail Courtney for a FREE template and model for a family building circle to get started!

What is a Family Circle | Power | Use


Courtney Harris : Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here:and 

 

Cyber Bullying

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullying

by with 6 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

Cyber Bullies. These types of people have always existed. I’m curious to know if you’ve ever been bullied? I was. The worst of it was back in middle school in the 1970s. In those days we still had outside time, in essence, it was recess. But none of us called it that… “Recess” always sounded so little kiddish. Out in the schoolyard there was a few girls who never liked me. I’m not sure why exactly, but aside from being called names, I was also punched and kicked quite often, for whatever reason.

If I knew the reason then, I certainly don’t remember it now.

Those experiences, even though I don’t recall the reasoning, very much shaped my life. It dramatically lowered my self esteem and it was the beginning of 40 years of falling for the wrong people. People who I allowed to treat me badly.

Talking About Bullying is Paramount

When I was young and getting bullied, I never told my parents and I told a teacher only once, because their advice was more than unhelpful. I was told to “toughen up and ignore them.” As it turns out, research today shows situations like telling the bully to stop and pretending it’s not happening can actually make the situation worse.

It may help your child to know that even grown ups can be cyber bullied and hopefully, in knowing this, it will help your child to be able to report it to you. As a matter of fact, there are many celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied, which, unfortunately, often forces them off of particular social media sites. Some of celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied are:

Ed Sheeran, singer:

In an interview, he made a comment in which Lady Gaga fans interpreted him as saying he disliked her. Those fans went on to say, what Ed calls, “very mean things that were ruining his day,” and were upsetting him very much. Very soon following, Lady Gaga made a statement in his defense. It turns out Ed decided not to quit the social media sites because he and his father had conversations there, but he stopped reading all the other posts.

Normandi Kordei : 

Fifth Harmony singer and you may know her from being a Dancing With the Stars contestant: Normandi was cyber bullied with comments saying things like she “isn’t black enough,” as well as many other racially charged comments. Normandi also says many people had said “some of the most rabid and disgusting” things about women’s bodies and hers in particular.

Zelda Williams:

Daughter of the late Robin Williams: After her father’s death, Zelda reports social media users verbally attacked her and even went so far as to send her photos of a dead man lying in a morgue who resembled her father.

Josh McDermitt.

Actor from the hit tv show, Walking Dead: Josh says that because of his character, Eugene’s role on the show, he received comments of extreme hatred toward him and even death threats. He says people were unable to differentiate between a character on television and Josh’s real life.

Rumer Willis,

Actress and daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: On the morning television show, Megyn Kelly Today, on September 27, 2017, Rumer talked openly about being cyber bullied.

What is Bullying? 

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC) defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths involving an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm. A young person can be a perpetrator, a victim, or both.”

What’s missing in the above description is the fact that bullying occurs to people of any age. And today’s technology brings on another whole host of ways people are bullied. Cyber bullying. It’s so incredibly prominent and cyber bullying includes, not only bullying done through social media channels, but in using any electronic source, such as through text or via email as well.

It is very easy to write things to a person who simply is a name on the screen or at the other end of the line.

Understanding The Need To Be A Bully

One might think bullies have a strong sense of themselves, they probably feel superior and that bullies are just highly opinionated and mean people. What we may not know is bullies actually feel so bad about themselves that breaking someone else down is a way for them to attempt to make themselves feel superior.

It is difficult, perhaps, to look at it this way but bullies are very much hurting inside. I know, most bullies think it’s funny. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying we shouldn’t do everything in our power to stop bullying from occurring. As a matter of fact, research shows being bullied, as well as being a bully, can cause an increased risk of problems in their future, such as academic issues, substance abuse, violent behavior, as well as mental health problems. And both the bully and their victims have an increased risk of suicide. We need to provide empowered assistance to both the bullies and the bullied. 

Cyber Bullying 

Over 50% of teens have been cyber bullied… And only about 10% of those kids will talk to a parent about it. Something cyber bullies don’t keep in mind is there’s consequences. Once bullying comments are made online, it’s practically impossible to completely remove all its traces, which can affect the person doing the bullying for life, even if they’ve apologized to the other person.

These days, prospective colleges are searching online for these occurrences, as are employers. Bullies can face legal charges, and in the situation of “sexting” (which means transmitting naked or inappropriate words or photos), bullies can face the possibility of legally being a labeled as a sex offender.

My Experience as a Parent

My 11 year old son son wanted to play an online game his friends were playing called Runescape. He and I had a long discussion about the privileges and problems of what playing a game where people from all over the world and all ages are playing. It is a tender subject, but I explained about pedophiles by telling him about people posing as youngsters and how incredibly patient they are in order to cause you harm.

I told him these people will befriend you and wait to start asking personal type questions, like your real and full name, address, telephone number, email address and so much more. I told him the only “friends” on the game he was allowed to have were his personal friends from school.

We discussed his password and that I was the only other person who will know it and that I would be going on the game under his password to check up on him. (I also emphasized if there was ever a time I tried to get onto his game and he’d changed the password, he’d be grounded.) We also talked about cyber bullying and what he was to do if it happens (don’t respond, save the comment and tell me immediately).

And lastly, I explained that the only way he could play the game was that I would be playing the game as well. After our very long talk together, I actually drew up a contract and the not we talked about what signing a contract means.

What you can do:

1. Know what sites your child visits. Tell them you will be going onto their accounts. Tell them it’s your job, as a parent, to know what they’re doing and protect them.
2. Always know your child’s passwords.
3. Explain to them the privileges and safety measures that come with being online and having access to the sites you’re allowing them to visit.
4. Set up parental controls, but don’t rely on parental controls alone.
5. Add your children to your “friends” or “follow” lists.
6. Explain to them about cyber bullying and what they’re to do if it does happen (don’t respond, keep the message and tell you immediately.)
7. Block the bullies
8. If a friend of your child communicates to them that they’ve been being bullied in some way, encourage your child to tell you. Also tell your child to encourage their friend to tell their own parents, teachers or school counselors.
9. Always keep the lines of communication with your children open. In order to expect them to be open and honest with you, you also need to be open and honest with them. In sharing things with your children and risking some of your own vulnerabilities, you actually make them feel much more comfortable in sharing their vulnerabilities with you.

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullies | Raising World Children | Bullies | Online Bullies | Protect Kids

 

Check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
Here's What To Do When Your Kid Is A Bully

Here’s What To Do When Your Kid Is A Bully

by with 10 Comments ContemporaryParentingVoices

Bullying is never acceptable in a society where each and every human being is entitled to respectful treatment. When hearing the word “Bully” most of you think of the words like “being mean, disrespectful, low self-esteem, threatening, taunting, beating and verbally or physically abusing.

It is a significant issue that affects people of all ages and can take many different forms. But, it takes a serious turn when it happens among kids, more importantly younger grades. Kids getting bullied is a sensitive issue and no parents want their child to be bullied.

No matter what else is going on, the fear of your kid might be picked on by a bully never leaves. Imagining your kid getting hurt by a group or a single person can be heartbreaking.

But, what if a parent approaches you and complains about your kid for bullying their kid? It would be the one scenario you never imagined.

Acknowledging the fact that your kid is a bully can be distressing. It can be a mixture of shock, fear, embarrassment, and disbelief. The first and foremost response from you would be “I know my kid, she would never hurt anyone”.

The truth, sadly is no parent knows their kid hundred percent.  You might not know how to handle the situation or deal with your kid’s mental health. Following some of the below tips can help you overcome this tough path without creating any war.

Handling The Parents of Bully-Victims:

Most crucial part of an incident is handling the parents of the kids who got bullied. When a mom or dad approach you stating that your kid bullied their kid, you would normally get defensive.

You would speak for your kid because you didn’t see it coming. But, it is a wrong way to treat a parent and it does no good for your kid too. Hearing a negative thing about your kid will be devastating but you should stay strong to deal the situation in a better way.

What should you do?

  • Take a deep breath and let them know you understand the seriousness of the issue.
  • Acknowledge the matter.
  • Convey your apology.
  • Let them know you will try to resolve the issue but before you need to hear the other side of the story from your kid. Make sure no one is hurt by doing it gently.

Analyzing The Situation and Dealing With It:

The fear of “your kid may be bullied one day” has turned upside down. Hearing the different truth which you never imagined makes you feel stupid.

The confidence of “I know my kid” has taken a beating. You might feel a heaviness in your heart which urges you to corner your kid and inquire about the bully situation. But, never do that. Instead, approach your kid and make sure he is well fed. Make him feel relax and calm and sit with your kid. Speak in a firm tone and ask him what happened and why he behaved in a certain way.

Assure your kid that you are not being judgmental and ready to listen to his side of the story. Once he explains don’t load him with pieces of advice which is of no use here. Instead, ask him questions in a polite way which gives him some time to realize the mistakes. For instance, ask him ” Do you think what you did is right?”, Is the way you behaved is respectful?” , “Will it be ok if you are treated in the same way?”

Emphasize the discussion by teaching him the fair treatment and respectful deeds. Doing this way you can prevent the bullying attitude in the initial stages.

What If The Bullying Is No More In The Initial Phase:

Unfortunately, many parents are not aware of bullying incidents until or unless it seeks serious attention. So, what if you are in no place to prevent it in the earlier stage?

It’s very important to remember that children who bully are still children. Without any proper help and guidance, they could never understand what is happening to them. It’s our responsibility to care and treat them in an appropriate way. Taking note of bullying habits, victimized behavior and following the below tips can be helpful for early intervention.

To stop them from not bullying other kids:

  • Never call your kid a “Bully”. Parents addressing their own kids as bully causes more reasons to act in a weird way.
  • It’s important that you communicate with the school and consider what issues, either at home or school, could be contributing to your kid’s bullying behavior.
  • Try role-playing with different scenarios to teach your child how to treat others with respect and kindness.
  • Encourage good behavior and keep a reward system in place. Books can be a great reward idea. Never use monetary gifts for rewarding kids.
  • Get to know your kid’s social life, friends and other persons they spend time with. Make sure there are no people with inappropriate behavior. Bad role models with anger issues and superiority attitude can be a bad influence.
  • Look for changes in habit, behavior, physical and mental health like constant anxiety, loss of self-confidence, skipping meals, fake health complaints etc.
  • When a situation is out of your hand don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are many bullying prevention programs in schools which could be of great help. Counseling and therapy can also be a better option.
  • Never discipline your kid by constantly belittling them. Enforcing rules with a heavy hand is not the right way to treat your kid.

It is certain that you need to find the root of the behavioral problem. Provide the proper care to make your kid realize that bullying is not acceptable anywhere and anytime! Has your child ever been accused of being a bully? What steps would you suggest to other parents?

What To Do When My Kids Is a Bully Raising World Children | Parenting | Bullies | Parenting Tips | Family

 

Make sure to check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

 Suja Dinesh Raising World children Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.
Raising World Children Kids Remedies

Child-Friendly Herbs To Use For Sore Throats

by with No Comment ContemporaryVoices

In children aged between 5 and 15 viruses are responsible for approximately 70% of throat infections with the remaining 30% being caused by bacteria. Having a sick child can be as distressing for us as parents as it is for our patients. We often feel helpless, limited in our abilities to aid our children in their time of need. Stress and anxiety sets in and we often, unintentionally, transfer it to our already vulnerable offspring. The only source of assistance we are often able to come up with comes in the form of prescription or over-the-counter pharmaceuticals. While bacterial infections can be addressed through antibiotics, they will be useless against the viral infections.

Natural remedies for sore throats

As a society we have become increasingly aware of the possible side-effects main-stream medicine can have on our children. So what are we as parents to do? We do exactly what our grandparents and the generations before them did – we turn to herbal remedies for holistic healing.  There are a variety of child-friendly herbal remedies available to ease the symptoms associated with sore throats. All you need to do is find the one that best works for your family.

Echinacea

Echinacea is one of the best-researched herbal remedies for colds, viruses and sore throats. It is most effective when taken at the first sign of a cold: the runny-nose and itchy-throat stage. When these symptoms present themselves you can start giving your child an Echinacea remedy three to four times a day (check the product label for specific instructions). Continue with the same dosage until the symptoms subside.

Elecampane

Elecampane is mostly sold in root form which will require you to boil it and disguise its bitter taste with some honey. If your young ones can’t stomach the taste you might want to source the capsules instead. It has an antibacterial effect and will soothe an inflamed throat as well as ease asthma. Although highly effective, elecampane should not be used by those suffering from diabetes.

Oregon grape root

Oregon grape root berberine is a potent bacteria killer, especially when it comes to strep throat. Like elecampane, this remedy is also bitter so capsules or glycerite form is suggested for children.

Lemon Balm

The volatile oils of lemon balm can destroy the bacteria that cause strep throat as well as a host of others causing cold and flu-like symptoms. Luckily this herb is sweet in taste so it can be added to any cup of healing tea for your ill child to drink.

Most sore throats and their associated symptoms will clear after a few days of using anyone or a combination of the above remedies. If you still have a sick child after 7 days or if severe symptoms like a high fever, vomiting or difficulty in breathing present themselves you need to seek urgent professional assistance. While most minor illnesses can be effectively treated at home we might need extra assistance from time to time when caring for our children.

Raising World Children Kid Friendly Herbs for Sore Throats | Kids | Children | Sore Throats | Herbal Remedies

 

Lucy Wyndham is a freelance writer and editor having previously spent over a decade working in the healthcare industry. When not working she loves nothing more than long walks in the country with her pet Labrador

 

Raising World Children Generosity

Imbibing Generosity from My Grandparents

by with One Comment EmpowermentVoices
Raising World Children Giving
Photo by Spenser H on Unsplash

I’m sorry to bother you in your home, but if I don’t get something to eat today, I’ll probably die.” The man with torn clothes says to my cousin through the recently added mesh to the gate. The  mesh is a hopeless attempt to keep the neighborhood cats out.

It’s a mid- summer 2017 in Tijuana, Mexico. The night has already curved into early morning.  If you tilt your ear to the night sky, you can hear the music and the laughter of the city still at play. Our very rowdy children have finally been put to bed, after a day filled with exploring, and playing, and running around.

My cousin and I are outside enjoying some adult time and here is this man, in visible distress asking for food. He apologizes again, for daring to speak to us in our home, but we already know what to do.

My cousin tells the man to sit tight, and we quickly go into grandma’s kitchen. We heat up beans, pork stew and tortillas. There always seems to be enough food to share at grandma’s house. Maybe its because its summer and there are two families spending their summer there, or maybe it is because grandma is so used to sharing her excess.

There are to-go plates, disposable forks, bottled water, and fruit available. We send the man off with a hot meal and a blessing, anything that goes through grandma’s house is automatically blessed. That’s how things work at grandma’s house. The hungry get fed, and everybody gets prayed for.

A Culture of Giving 

For my grandparents, sharing a meal with someone who crosses their path is easy. Community, religion and a life of service form an intricate part of the fiber of their lives. Grandma happily tells stories of the many times she’s had a house full of people.

She laughs as she describes how one day she woke up to a house full of young men. There were so many of them that they were sleeping in the hallways, as well as the couches, the rugs, and every part of floor you can imagine.

Apparently one of my uncles had left his boarding school to visit his mom and brought “some friends” along. His friends mixed with her other children, and their friends, and whoever else was over that weekend. She was happy to have them all there. Her children no longer show up with their friends in troves, but grandma is still a very central part of the community.

Every morning the octogenarian goes to Mass, which she describes as a party happening in her heart. She connects to God on a daily basis and then delivers communion to the sick and Lord-Bound. Her life long companion drives her around all morning and keeps her company as she visits each home.

They eat breakfast together and then they have their day. Sometimes grandma sits with grandpa while he plays solitaire, sometimes he gets her ice cream. Sometimes he watches tv with her as she knits her endless rounds, there’s lots to knit when you have lots of earth angels. This last summer grandma was knitting a cardigan for the youngest of her great-grandchildren. “The youngest for now” she says happily.

I hang out with my grandma for as long as I can, listening to her stories and accepting her love. There is a certain order to the home that has been functioning for over 60 years, an order that no amount of words can help establish, a rhythm and a beat that has a soothing quality about it.

I soak it in and learn the secrets, praying and hoping to one day have a home like that of my own.

Meissa Cota Raising World ChildrenMelissa Cota is a mom of three living on an Island. She often plays under the guise of Metzli writing Daily Intuitive Newsletters, Blog Posts and giving intuitive advice on Keen. Melissa loves reading and writing and sharpening her intuitive skills.
Indian Books for Children - Bharat Babies Giveaway

Indian Books for Children – Bharat Babies Giveaway

by with 12 Comments GiveawayVoices

The Give Away Has Ended. This post is a collaboration of Raising World Children and  Bharat Babies but the opinions are of the author.

Raising World Children BooksMythology is hard to explain. There are often so many complicated story lines that can be hard to comprehend, specially by minds yet to grow. Enter Bharat Babies. Since, I came across them I wanted to get a hold of the amazing line up they seemed to have. Using Indian culture to explain simple concepts to kids. Not religiously, but using mythology as the base for story telling. Stories for every level of reader and from every walk of life!

Surely enough, once I got my hands on the books my expectations were surpassed. They are not only easy to read and explain but also have concepts that are profound in their thought.

Padmini is Powerful 

When I read Padmini is Powerful to my kids they understood what each God in Indian mythology stands for. Not just that, what quality of them they hold within themselves. And this  is true for every single child. They Are Powerful. My daughter loves sitting and looking at the pictures of the different Gods and Goddesses. And Padmini is so cute that she can totally see herself in the story!

© Aditi W.Singh
Sarla in The Sky

My son is in the phase where he doesn’t know what to make of girls. As a mother and woman, I want to encourage him to accept that girls, when they put their mind to it can do anything. In comes Sarla in the Sky. A book of girl empowerment, setting a wonderful example for boys and girls alike.

Ganesh and the Little Mouse

Another amazing book that I picked up was Ganesh and the Little Mouse. The base for this book is one o my favorite stories of mythology  portraying out of the box thinking where you understand that there are often many ways to do the same thing with one of the ways being easier and more meaningful. Not only have Bharat Babies’ author Anjali Joshi explained this but has always used the same story to talk about a different side which I hadn’t discovered till date. My children were enthralled and my son has re read this book a number of times now.

Aditi Wardhan singh
© Aditi W.Singh
Harini and Padmini Say Namaste 

Which brings us to both my kids’ favorite of the books we have collected, ” Harini and Padmini Say Namaste “. My son had done a week long yoga camp in preschool once and since then has been fascinated with the concept. This book is a beautifully depicted, sweet story of a Padmini as she discovers the art of yoga. I can never forget the first time we read the book. My daughter immediately started doing yoga poses as she had seen in the book. My son, “expert” that he is after his camp, went along to correct her and soon began a beautiful bonding session between siblings.

Choti + Me
Photo Credit: Jess Benjamin for Scout Somerville

After so loving so many of their books, I was happy to learn that they are coming out with a new venture. A children’s magazine called Choti+Me (Little One and Me). I have already signed up to be the first to know when the new magazine comes out but for RWC readers there is a wonderful opportunity to participate in a give away hosted by Raising World Children and Bharat Babies where we will give away not one, not three but a WHOLE YEAR’s subscription for FREE !!!

You do not want to miss out on this chance of getting 12 months of wonderful stories and activities for your child to grow into a person accepting of new cultures, growing with a global perspective.

DID YOU WIN ?

 

DON’T FORGET TO SHARE THIS AWESOME GIVEAWAY OPPORTUNITY WITH FRIENDS! SHARING IS AFTER ALL CARING.

Aditi Wardhan Singh Raising world childrenAditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology When You Are Done Expecting as well.

 

Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility

Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility

by with 6 Comments EmpowermentParentingVoices

I grew up in a conservative Indian family with strict rules around girls like being at home before 7:00 PM. I found my solace when I started working at the age of 18. Being the youngest one I was by nature a little rebellious compared to my siblings.

Getting a job made me far more confident and gave me the freedom that my young heart was craving for. I met my husband at work and knew immediately that only he can support my newly found wings.

We got married in 2007. My husband very well supported my free spirit, but he too belonged to a conservative Indian family. The expectations from a daughter in law were to wear a sari and taking care of the household.

It took me several years to make my in laws understand that respecting them was far more important than the attire I wore. Don’t get me wrong! Out of respect, I still do wear conservative Indian clothing in their presence and take care of the entire household when at my in laws visit. But I kept my out of house life separate from the life I lived within.

Expectations Of Motherhood

My in laws often pushed me to have kids but for me the time wasn’t right until I felt it was right.

Years passed by in this fashion, with time I found myself engaged in other responsibilities. My father was diagnosed with cancer and my brother became the only earning member. I took care of the responsibilities that came along with my father’s disease and  demise. Having kids had taken a back seat with so much going on.

My best friend in the meantime had conceived and had a beautiful baby boy. Who not only lightened my friends life but also gave me a reason to smile during the tough times I was going through. His single smile would light me up and recharge me for the entire day. And after a long time I felt that I had fallen in love again.

Maan as we call him became one of the most important elements of my life, he became the light I was looking for in the darkness of challenges that surrounded me.

And from Maan, I would say for the first time I had the urge to become a mother. Life took a turn again and we moved to US. And with the loneliness I found here the urge of becoming a mother became even more strong.

I had a chance to visit India soon after I moved to US. I finally decided to see my gynecologist to check if we are in the best shape to become parents. I was advised a complete hormonal profile and I anxiously waited for my results to come in being absolutely sure that nothing could go wrong with things. I felt healthy and perfectly fine. What could go wrong?

Endless Disappointments

The results came in and my dream and hope of becoming a mother came crashing down like house of cards. Doctor broke the most unexpected news to us “ your egg count is very low”. I wasn’t even sure what that meant but I knew one thing it didn’t sound promising.

I tried to ask her what can I do to improve my egg count and she said nothing could be done this is how my body is. She also gave it a term “Early Menopause” that definitely wasn’t something I wanted to hear.

My research reflected that early menopause sets in when a woman is stressed for prolonged periods. I searched long and hard on the internet what were the chances of conception for women with a condition like me. Every search pointed in one direction IVF.

I had heard about IVF but never understood what exactly the procedure was and how successful was it. Every search gave me many success stories and equal number of heart breaks. Every search made me more and more sad.

And every month the disappointment of not being able to conceive overpowered my once happy and free spirit. I got more depressed with every passing day.  I couldn’t share this pain with anyone and spent hours locked in closed spaces shedding tears and blaming myself for what seemed to be my life’s biggest defeat. I was scared to share this with my family as I was terrified of being blamed as ignorant towards my responsibilities.

Time went by and I came in terms with the fact that I will have to go with IVF and I might even have to get an egg donor. It’s a well known fact that IVF is very costly so I started saving every penny I earned towards it. Though disappointed I lifted my spirits up and told myself that god will not let this happen to me and I will turn out to be a successful case of IVF.

I honestly did let everything go and then my little miracle happened.

The Beginning of Motherhood

October of 2016 for the first time in 2 years and after 9 years of my marriage without any external help I got a positive pregnancy test. The two stripes on the test made me laugh and cry. I became so paranoid that I took 3 additional test to make sure I had a living being inside of me. I found out a place where I could get an early ultrasound to make sure everything was fine. I started eating and living healthy so that my little one would grow up healthy.

As he grew inside of me I fell more and more in love with him. On 19th of June 2017, I held him in my hands for the first and since then every passing day I fall more and more in love with my miracle baby.

The entire experience taught me one important lesson. “It is important to let go” once you let go and believe that you will get it. Keep working towards it, there is a good chance you may get it. To anyone struggling with the same, I say it is important to keep a positive outlook.

Are you struggling with infertility? What do you use to give yourself hope?

How Letting Go Got Me Through Infertility | Pregnancy | Infertility | Motherhood | Hope

Vinni Mishra is a corporate professional presently residing in Glen Allen, Virginia. She originally belongs to Jaipur, Rajasthan (India). She completed her masters degree in geography from Rajasthan University. She started her career as a corporate professional pretty early around the age of 18 with GE Capital and was until very recently working with Suntrust Mortgage in Glen Allen. She is an expectant mother and is enjoying her time off from work awaiting the new member to her family. She has a passion for writing and her writing is influenced by the rich culture of Rajasthan which is famous for its traditions and heritage that have been passed along generations.
7 Tips To Make a Road Trip Tantrum Free with Kids

7 Tips To Make a Road Trip Tantrum Free with Kids

by with 7 Comments TravelVoices

” You are so brave! “

” Will the kids sit for so long? “

” It is going to be so hard with little kids. “

These are just some of the comments of disbelief we heard when we announced our cross country trip by car with our 6 and 3 year old kids. But we were adamant. With flight + baggage prices super inflated and every destination needing at least one stop over, it just made practical sense. Also, we had always wanted to see USA by road. Real people along real roads.

The experience was an outstanding one. We saw almost half of America’s beautiful vistas. Traveling from Virginia to Colorado to Chicago and Back. A little sight seeing, mountains and lots of indoor kids activities like Lego land, Ball Factory etc. We tried many different foods. We met a lot of old friends too.

The impromptu trip taught us to connect as a family and just Be!  On a personal level I learned how hard I was driving myself to achieve too much without focus. A new experience enriches our soul like no other.

As far as the kids were concerned, the 2 week trip, 12-15 hour long drives were tantrum free and thankfully, uneventful. They enjoyed every moment and I can see their growth. The first step of course is being completely prepared. Download our checklist of everything you will need for your road trip.

Road Trip With Kids Ultimate Pack Along List

No Preparation for Distractions 

The magic of something new fades pretty quickly these days. This trip was the first time I did not buy any little toys before leaving to shine in front of the eyes.

Instead, every second or third stop we got the kids candy/toys which served as both souvenirs and distractions. The car ride was spent exploring new vistas with their new play things. We even bought the kids tiny bags that they cherished carrying around with them.

Make The Itinerary An Activity 

We kept the kids pretty much in suspense the whole trip. So when leaving we told them of all the sights we would see in  St. Louis. At St. Louis, we told them all the fun things planned for them in Colorado.  In essence, the discussion of the destination becomes an activity in itself. This had a two pronged effect.

  1. They got super excited and asked questions along the way.
  2. They got involved in the planning on the way.

Food/Potty Breaks at Scenic Routes

You may be surprised how happy kids get seeing beautiful spots and exploring a lovely place even in the middle of no where. And they if they are kids like mine who love posing, they get a kick out of memorable clicks !

Breaks Every 2-4 Hours

Even if the kids are sitting and not asking to go to potty, take a break. It gives them a chance to stretch their legs, have some fun running around while breaks the monotony of the ride. It is a preemptive strike against boredom!

Stay Screen Free For Longer Periods

The temptation to keep the kids pacified aside, ensure to stay screen free for long periods of time. Gadgets can be used when you need to catch a nap or the kids truly get antsy.

  • Classic games are I Spy, License Plate, I’m Going on a Picnic, What Am I Thinking of.
  • Try to work learning into road-trip games. I love making games up on the fly!
  • Another favorite is making robots, letters from things at the table at the restaurants.

Download New Shows/Apps On  The Go 

Every spot that had free Wifi got utilized to give the kids hope for exciting new fun to come! Make sure to keep their Most Loved app/show a secret  for when you hit a traffic jam !

CDs Of The Kids’ Favorite Shows/Movies

This tip is for those who have a movie player installed in the car. Target has a great selection of $5 movies. Also, since we were only going to be gone 2 weeks, we borrowed a lot of CDs of the kids’ favorite shows/movies from the local library. With the two week return policy it was a God sent. Also, Redbox is a great option with it’s many locations.

Rare Snacks 

This trip, I made sure to keep snacks they love but haven’t had in a long time and have been banned at home. They relished the fact that they could enjoy rare treats on the mini vacation. A Happy Meal which is a rare treat in our home was a great way to appease them.

Include Strangers Into the Trip 

My kids and I love people watching and talking to strangers. Strangers are after all friends we haven’t met yet! Simple conversations lead to enriched experiences. Also, the kids I believe learn to accept different people and their view points. Remember to stay safe though.

  1. Ensure the little ones know not to talk about your home, routine life or destination.
  2. Write the kids’ name, address and phone number and keep them in their pockets.

Bonus Mindset Trip –

As I worried about how they would do on the trip after our first 4 hours of drive, my husband responded. ” Kids are resilient. Remember that all year round, your life revolves around them. If they do get antsy or cranky, it’s okay. It’s a phase and it shall pass. They will learn a lot from the experience. ” And they did !!!

Have you taken a road trip? What would you add to our complete list of items to take on your trip ?  What are your tips for keep the trip comfortable and tantrum free?

Tips to have a memorable trip with kids tantrumfree www.raisingworldchildren.com | Travel | Travel with Kids | Road Trip | Memorable Travel | Tantrumfree

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.