Aditi Wardhan Singh

Powerful Life Lessons Celebrating Holi Teaches Every Kid

Powerful Life Lessons Holi Celebrations Teach Every Child

This festival of colors brings a tinge of happiness when people think the celebration of Holi. We often forget the many life lessons the Holi celebrations teach our children.

Growing up I played Holi a handful of times. Once when I was ten and we threw balloons and glasses full of water on passers by from the terrace of a cousin’s home. Once in Bhopal at age 11, when my cousin applied so much silver paint on me that it took my mom 2+ hours of rubbing before all the colors came off!

Then twice during college when my friends and I threw colors and eggs on each other. And I pretended to get drunk on Bhang Lassi and scared the living daylights out of my friends who had never seen a person high!

You find that people either love this festival or hate it, depending on how their childhood memories are with the celebration. If they were roughhoused with, they usually prefer to not play growing up either. Owing to my life as an immigrant I didn’t have many opportunities to be scarred!

Significance of Holi in North Indian Culture

Holi in Nothern India is celebrated to mark the advent of spring with the flowers beginning to bloom. The many colors in the air reflect the bloom around you.

The meaning of Holi has it’s origins in two stories. And both carry a lot of meaning for most Hindu families, specially to strengthen the bond between couples. One is of the love of Radhna Krishna, whose love is eternal and renowned for being full of naughtiness. The other is the story of Prahlad whose demon father time and again forced him to renounce his love for God Vishnu and pray to him as God.

Celebrating Holi in My Home

This festival of love actually became a tradition after marriage as my husband and I religiously celebrate. This is perhaps one of the most no fuss celebrations as all you need is colors.

Kids like all things, added so much more meaning to our celebrations.

I remember vividly the first times my son and daughter applied color to my face. It was a feeling like no other!

life lessons holi — Copyright Aditi Wardhan Singh

Since my son turned 2, every year our celebrations have only gotten grander and bigger with more of our friends being included as our family grew from two to four. The festival has only grown in splendor, laughter and grandeur.

I often have a potluck party at my home with my friends and we apply color to each other. If possible, we also serve the special drink called thandai (the non intoxicating version). The kids specially those who are not maybe North Indian get a kick out learning about this festival. Some also get scared but the results are always hilarious!

The night before Holi is Holika Dahan, where we are supposed to light the bon fire. It is hard to do that here in USA but in a few years, I hope to celebrate this aspect with a firepit.

Since the past three years we have been going to the local temple to celebrate with friends as well. We dance on Indian film music and enjoy the revelry. Throwing and applying colors on strangers who, on this day, treat us like their best friends.

7 Simple Ways Children Everywhere Can Enjoy the Festival of Holi

Life Lessons Holi Teaches In A Multicultural Environment

Holi is celebrated around the world, not just on this day but all year round as “Color Run”. There are many reasons this beloved festival has grown on the people of the world. It is wonderful how most festivals provide unique opportunities to teach kids about life.

It is celebrated today not just by North Indian Hindus but by everyone who enjoys celebrating life in all it’s colorful glory!

[bctt tweet=”Celebrated around the world, Holi is a wonderful festival teaching kids powerful life lessons in today’s multicultural environment. #parenting #indianfestivals ” username=”contactrwc”]

GOODNESS AND FAITH ARE PARAMOUNT

I read the story of Prahlad every year. We watch videos and make sure the kids understand what both of these mean in today’s lives. The story might be mythological but when explained in today’s context, kids learn about how often bad influences affect us and we need to have faith in our own principals to carry us through. Life lessons holi teach us are very profound.

EVERYONE IS EQUAL

I make sure to explain to my kids that the meaning of Holi is to show that once color is applied everyone is the same. The skin color of all becomes the same and we all are equal in all manners. Once you have children, specially this significance evolves also to one of acceptance and love.

ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

The Holi festival as I mentioned has evolved. There was a time when people used to get really dirty throwing mud and eggs or worse but with time with repeated dos and don’ts discussed today everyone who celebrates does so in an environmentally healthy way.

This is a great time to teach kids about why using organic colors is important.

BE KIND TO ANIMALS

I tell them how Holi used to be celebrated where many people would hurt animals by applying color to them or throwing them in water. How important it is to not do the same and to always, always think of the consequences of your festivities on animals.

NO MEANS NO

Many people, specially in India, choose to remain locked indoors for everyone knows if you go out you are bound to end up with color on your face or wet clothes!

If someone doesn’t like to celebrate, you should not put color on them. This applies to many other aspects of life where someone might not want to indulge in something they enjoy. An important lesson in today’s world.

STRANGERS AREN’T ALL SCARY

The best part about Holi is this festival is everyone plays it with equal enthusiasm. Even if you go to the a place where it is celebrated not knowing anyone, you are greeted like a friend and get colored just as if people already knew you. Your faith in humanity gets restored with that much positive vibes going around.

It is a wonderful time to step out of your comfort zone. Under the watchful eyes of parents, many kids open up to having fun with people they have just met.

GETTING MESSY IS FUN

My kids usually hate getting their hands dirty. They have gotten so used to using wipes that often things are icky. This day allows kids today, in the spin and span, sanitized environments to let lose and get messy. It teaches them it is okay to get dirty. This is the only festival where the dirtier you are is reciprocal to the amount of fun you have had.

After all, life is very messy and it is important to know when to enjoy the it and when to purge the mess!

SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT

There is a great amount of prep that goes into preparing to play Holi. . Wear sunglasses and shut your eyes whenever someone is applying color on you. Oiling your hair or Wear old full sleeved and full length clothing to give your skin maximum protection from the colors.

Even when indulging in foods and the sweet milk drink, it is important to use moderation in everything you do.

EVERY LOVING RELATIONSHIP HAS ROOM FOR LAUGHTER

In Holi when you play pranks on your loved ones and friends, it is a great way to teach kids how to not take themselves and those they care about seriously. How not to get offended on silly little jokes and that there is always room for naughtiness and laughter in a loving relationship.

Childrens Books COnfidence Aditi — Click to Buy

Find out ALL about HOW anyone can celebrate this festival easily HERE – Crafts | Books | Songs | Experiments

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What is your Holi celebration like? Do you have a temple near you that celebrates? Are you going to celebrate with your kids this year? Are you going to share the …

How To Talk to Kids About Dangers At School

Thanks to the existing environment, there has become a constant fear among parents of what to tell their kids and how much. Every topic seems to be far reaching and hard to discuss.

This is an unexpected time we have come to. From being a parent who talks to their kid about every aspect of life to not knowing what to say. My 7 year old son’s school recently had a lock down incident. No one was in danger according to school but the world lock-down itself sends chills down us parents’ spines.

Our local high school’s pep rally was cancelled because some kid decided to threaten some others on social media. Many kids did not go to school for fear of danger.

“What do you tell kids when they say that they are scared to go to school? “, Jasmine Turner of Nbc12 news channel asked me.

My Answer

For all kids, first ask them what they know. ? Start by asking what your child/teen already has heard about the events from the media and from friends. Listen carefully; try to figure out what he or she knows or believes. Even if you yourself do not discuss with the kids, often they will have friends who tell them what is going on. Be aware of what your child knows and how they are processing the information.

As your child explains, listen for misinformation, misconceptions, and underlying fears or concerns. Gently correct misconceptions and wrong notions.

“What You Are Feeling Is Real”

No matter what the emotion, you need to accept it. And work through it. Talk about it. Take the time to process it. Even if it is just fear. You cannot deny that we need to accept that the fear of being in danger is a very personal and real fear and every kid can feel it. Not just you, every child in the school feels the same feelings at different times. And every parent of that child feels the same. It’s okay to be scared.

“You Cannot Let Fear Stop You”

Fear can have the capacity of paralyzing you. You have to overcome this anxiety. We cannot let the fear of the unknown ruin our today or the possibility that today brings for us. Every moment, every step holds an unknown. But most of our lives is in our hands.

“If You See Something If You Say Something”

The times have changed from tattling to standing up for what is right. You can provide important information that may prevent harm either directly or anonymously by telling a trusted adult what you know or hear.

If you see a friend being bullied or a kid left behind (metaphorically), stand by them. Be there for someone who has no one. If you notice someone who you feel might need professional help, or that makes you uncomfortable or fearful tell your teachers or parents. If you see someone threatening something on social media, bring it to the attention of an adult.

“Be Responsible On Social Media”

When you share something online, it is there for everyone to see. And can be traced back to you. It is not just fun. There are certain guidelines you should follow when posting something online and remember that there are serous consequences to saying or posting offensive material online. Cyber bullying is hurtful. Your connections online are real people with real feelings. When you put hurtful things out there remember they not just affect those reading them, but also those around them who care for them.

“Be more kind now than ever before”

One of the main reasons of these happenings right now is because there are kids out there who do not feel loved. The world needs love. All most people need ever is to know they are cared for and appreciated. That is sorely lacking in the world today and it is more important now than ever to bring our A game forward in being generous with our kindness and filling others’ buckets.

“Always keep gratitude in your heart”

Let’s take the time to go over everything that we are thankful for today. Appreciation for what we have, helps us take stock of what all we have achieved and all those we hold dear.

“Let’s review safety precautions”

Here I suggest reading our previously published piece on how to empower kids against tragedy. Also, ensure you ask them what they have learned at school.

Often school procedure has many simple yet effective techniques that can be applied at home or outside home/school. This also helps re iterate your belief in the school system and it’s safety. Kids, after all foremost need to believe the school is a safe haven after all.

A few side notes to the above would be

As always, encourage questions and keep the lines of communication open. Make time to talk about these difficult issues as well.
Limit Television viewing of the such tragic experiences.
Talk about the consequences of use of guns and violence in general.
Be a positive role model for the younger generation to follow.
Stick to your normal routine. Do not let fear seep into your life.
Adults, pay attention to the cues your children give you!

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

Padmaavat – How It Reflects Our Society Today

Warning : Spoilers Ahead + Reader Discretion Advised. Movie age viewership recommended by Aditi 13+. All views belong to the author.

Padmavati, Oops, Padmavat (I still don’t have my head wrapped around the name change) is one of the MOST controversial Indian movies in Hindi there has been in the past decade. So much so, even BBC covered it. It was a sad state of affairs when it was being judged even before birth.

That is something woefully sad, but I won’t get into because I prefer that people be allowed to make informed choices.

Then it released. And received rave reviews. And then, I read Swara Bhaskar’s open letter to Sanjay Leela Bansali about how she felt the movie and I’m paraphrasing here so you do not have to read the whole letter – It wrongfully glorifies Sati (women self sacrificing to fire to avoid rape at the hands of plunderers). That women have a right to live even if they are raped etc. That since this movie based in ‘old’ times has been released in the 21st century there has to be in the context of today’s society.

It is with this baggage that I saw the movie.

Movie Synopsis

Set in 1303 AD medieval India, Queen Padmavati is known for her exceptional beauty along with a strong sense of justice and is the wife of Maharawal Ratan Singh and pride of the Kingdom of Chittor, a prosperous kingdom in the north west of India.

The legend of her beauty reaches the reigning sultan of Hindustan – Allaudin Khilji. The sultan who is a tyrant, is fixated with wanting anything that is of exceptional beauty for himself. He lays siege on the impregnable fortress of Chittorgarh. After a grueling 6 months, he returns empty handed. He becomes obsessed and now wants to capture Chittor and its Queen at any cost. He returns with a bigger army and ranging fury.

He attacks Chittor with brutal force and a bloody and fearsome battle takes places between the righteous Maharawal Ratan Singh defending his kingdom and the honor of his queen and Sultan Allaudin Khilji. Khilji manages to breach the fortress but in vain as the Queen chooses to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect her dignity

ps – The movie is inspired by a poem of the same name Padmavat.

I found the movie in fact very relevant to today’s times with the subtle nuances it shows towards today’s society.

[bctt tweet=”Few movies in Indian cinema provide an opportunity for parents to talk about history and society with kids. ” username=”contactrwc”]

Narcissism & Materialism is Self Damaging

In the day and age of selfies and trending gadgets, this came off as most prominent.

With Allauidin Khilji constantly desiring every single thing that he considers is a “priceless beauty” it is important to note how it reflects how greedy today’s society is. With every person lusting after the latest gadget it is a testament to the fact that wanting the best is a timeless human emotion and one when not controlled is harmful in various ways.

We Are Better Together

The King of Mewar requests all the Kings around his own to help him. He tells his second in command confidently, that if we all get together then Allaudin will be destroyed instantly. But Alas! In the self interest of their own kingdoms none of the kingdoms come forward to help.

The problem is similar with our current society that we don’t do enough good. For the most part, we just talk behind closed doors about all that is wrong but when it comes to standing up for what is right, we fear for our self interest. And that is where time and again societies have been destroyed.

Love Transcends All

Padmaavati falls in love with another woman’s husband. Allaundin Khilji falls in love with the “idea” of Queen Padmavati who is another man’s wife. Even Khilji’s slave is often referred to as his wife showing the undertones that he is in love with him but can never hope to take his place for the taboo in pace. It is interesting to note that Allaundin is never repelled by his subtle advances.

The heart wants what the heart wants. There is often not a single thing one can do about who you end up loving but how one approaches it is of immense importance. When love is meant to conquer, it will never win. Love has to be pure and quiet and has to ask permission often and worked hard upon.

You Have To Stand Up To Bullies In Their Way

Time and again Allaudin Khilji tricks the King of Mewar into falling into a trap eventually killing him even. Which begs the question. When rules are put into place, are you supposed to follow them blindly?

No matter what your ‘culture’ has been, if what is being asked of you or if you see the person in front of you is doing wrong, you have to put your foot down at some point and retaliate in the similar manner so that they understand what is happening.

I thought, it was a great tip of hat to current Bullying scenario that is rampant among kids. When faced with a bully, being good should not be a major concern.

People Need To Stop The Back Biting Already

Most girls (many men) do it at different stages in life. And it is down right malicious and needless. This is brilliantly shown by King of Mewar’s first wife. When her husband is taken away, she tries to manipulate the second wife into a situation where she is gone forever. Trying to prove to everyone that ‘she was the problem’. And when proven wrong, refuses to accept.

It is a sad state even today that many people are not above manipulating each other for no good reason other than self interest, which eventually does back fire. And manipulations are often under the drape of friendship.

Let’s empower each other. Let’s be mature and converse, even if it means not talking with issues known.

Women Can and Should Stand Up For Themselves

Now coming back to what Swara Bhaskar said. Johar or Self emulation I’m sure is a trigger for many women who feel strongly about it. And that totally depends on the person watching. In the movie’s time period context, she knew she was at the end of the road. And that was just something women did at the time. The movie is not about Sati. It is just about good people trying to maintain their dignity despite repeated trials and failures.

Not everyone chooses to sacrifice in times of desperation. Not everyone chooses to “live now and fight later”. Not everyone accepts that concept of ” sacrificing the one over the many’. Not everyone chooses to “follow their fearless leader to the end of time. ” It is a matter of choice. And there is no debating that. Flight or fight is a very personal response.

The ending for me in fact, was too drawn out. I didn’t find it dramatizing or even glorifying Sati. Just a factual representation of the times. Unfortunate as it was. I found the ending anticlimactic. What I wanted to see instead was Allaudin Khilji’s disappointment devastating him. That would have made a bigger impact and honestly, maybe even satisfied the women who were disturbed by the end since the actual sacrifice would have had a visual consequence.

What I did enjoy however was in the end, where all the women attack him before he can get to the place where they are doing Sati. They have a strategy. They have a plan. They band together to take on this enemy. And it is that what I wish our girls of tomorrow learn from us women today.

That they are equal to every man. What they may lack in strength they may make up in strategy and bravery.

About The Movie Watching Experience

Being bad is fun …. till it isn’t !

“Nice guys finish last.” ” These are the ways of the world.” Quotes like this have always irked me. . are all just things people say to not participate in standing up to what is right. If anything this movie glorifies Ranveer Singh’s portrayal of Allaudin’s Khilji which is so totally on point that you are left aghast at what phenomenal acting he has done. It is rare to see a real good bad guy.

The movie is certainly poetry in motion and one is mesmerized by the grandeur of each scene. Every actor plays their part well. It is a movie that one has to have watched once in their life time in 3D in the theater to appreciate the subtle intricacies of every scene and dialogue.

So all in all, I would say, like 13 Reasons Why was a Hard watch for parents and families, I think if watched with parents, this movie too provides an opportunity for conversation about many relevant things.

And if you are a history buff like me, you will enjoy learning the real history behind the poem of Padmavat – Queen Padmaavati. Careful! One read on a historical figure is never enough.

Have you seen Padmaavat ? What is your take on the movie ?

Are You Treating Your Girls “Less Than” Boys?

“Girls are not the same as boys.” I believe in this.

Not in what they can achieve. But in the fact that both have their own strengths. But as far as rights go, as humans every single human has the right to choose and BE as they wish.

Yet, time and again I see people differentiating in what girls “can” and “cannot” do. In Indian culture, there has always been a big difference in the way girls are treated from boys. From serving them, to being protected to what they have to wear to what time they have to be outside, Indian women are often shown that they are less than.

The difference is reducing in today’s times. But once married, the difference still exists colossally within the Indian society.

The #metoo conversation brought forth to my mind how many people talk about the need for better parenting. To teach kids that both boys and girls are equal. Yet, there are so many subtle ways that girls are suppressed or presumptions they have to overcome.

So, I delved into the online space and asked women around the world to talk about a time in their childhood when they experienced feeling less than or having to overcome being put down.

ONE

“My parents raised me like a boy for the first 10 years as an only child but when my brother came and as I got older my parents’ worry of me irked me. It was not the same for my brother. Or my cousins. In my teenage years, relatives would pass comments about my marriage way earlier than it needed to be talked about. It was not the same for the boys in the house hold. “

— Find out more about Aditi Wardhan Singh

TWO

” I would say when girls are just overly protected off the bat. I was never allowed to stay home alone with my brothers. Or I was not allowed to date until I was 16 but my brothers were. It’s a standard of boys aren’t to be trusted so we have to protect our girls more so then the boys…. great post idea. “

— Find out more about Sarah Church Caroll

THREE

My grandfather just passed away and all the grandsons and grandson-in-laws were asked to be pallbearers. Just the first thing that came to my mind living in the 21st century and still having those gender differences. All the granddaughters were not included.

— Find out more about Ashley Peggs

FOUR

When boys would pull my hair or be mean to me when we were all little, I was always told it was just because they liked me. I associated meanness with affection. I grew up spouting off that same stupid, misguided notion to other girls, unfortunately. Whenever a boyfriend treated me bad, I always had this thought, “well, he loves me so it’s okay.”
Or when I witnessed my dad disrespecting women and putting them down, I was told by my grandma that he did it out of love. The lesson of “it doesn’t matter how guys treat you as long as they love you” was very pervasive in my childhood.

— Find out more about Lisa Keifer

FOUR

When I asked my dad to teach me how to fix cars, he said no because I was a girl. I pushed and he gave in and was stunned to see I had a natural talent for it. Then I ended up in architecture school which at that time was 10% women. I had a teacher tell me that women didn’t belong in architecture because I had asked a question he deemed stupid. I didn’t want to be an architect after that. I became a graphic designer and ended up in the printing industry where I was sexually harassed all the time. I’m good at math, engineering, computers, fixing things… And I have been told over and over that I have strange talents for a girl.

I have two boys and they are being raised to see everyone as equal. Since I don’t get the chance to raise a confident girl, I can at least raise boys who see them as equals.

— Find out more about Bonnie Landau Weed

FIVE

When I was growing up, it was expected for my sister and I to help in the kitchen with dinner and clean up. My younger brother did not have the same expectation. This expectation still happens now. Last week we were on a family vacation and my mom was putting a roast in the crock pot for dinner. She was trying to decide when to start it. My brother was going to be back at the campground before we got back. I suggested to ask him to turn it on when he got back. My mom actually said, “he just finished a half-Marathon and that’s too much to ask of him.”. My response was “For him to turn a switch?”. This is not an uncommon theme in our family. I intend to raise my son to have the same expectation as any other family member.

— Find out more about Jennifer Crisp

SIX

I was good at math until I was in high school. I was in high track math 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. But then I slowly started thinking I wasn’t good at math because I kept hearing girls aren’t good at math. So when the counselor was helping me pick classes for my freshman year, he basically said “let’s bump you down to average track math” even though I got a high B in 8th grade. And I learned that I wasn’t good at math even though looking back I think I actually was. So I told myself that I wasn’t good at math because other people basically told me that I wasn’t because I’m a girl. And I don’t think I learned as much in high school math because I didn’t try very hard. I had the mindset of “this isn’t my thing. I shouldn’t even try.”

— Find out more about Nikki Howlett

SEVEN

I think it’s more I’ve noticed how lucky I was to have strong female figures and a father who taught me everything. I also read a lot of book with strong females. Here’s my recent post I wrote.

— Find out more about Shari Dawson Shearer

EIGHT

I hate the comment of throwing or running “like a girl”

Nancy Elyse

NINE

I don’t have a post about this, but it drove me insane. Last year my little sister’s high school softball team went all the way to the state championship (YAY!), and they asked to go up to the field two days early so they could get acclimated and practice one day. You know, get in the right mind set. Anyways, their athletic director said nope, sorry, not in the budget. So they showed up the night before, didn’t have time to work out the jitters, and had to play the next day. They lost. I’m not saying they would’ve won with that extra day, but as an ex-athlete I know how nerves can impact your game. It helps to see the field you’ll be playing on and just calm down from all the excitement (our town held a little parade as they left). It sucked, sure, but I didn’t think anything of it.

Flash forward to the football team’s REGULAR SEASON and they had a game in Texas. They were there for three days. It was basically an all-expenses paid vacation for these boys. And they brought the cheerleaders. They got their asses kicked.

I was so annoyed by this. Let’s just go ahead and tell our daughters that it doesn’t matter how hard you work; you can be the VERY BEST and go to the championship game, but you’ll still never be worth as much as our football players. Have fun in life!

— Find out more about JoshlandLindsay Aspinwall

TEN

My husband’s grandma told me when I was pregnant with my daughter that it would be better to have a boy because girls are only good for cleaning. Granted, she’s 93 and has dementia…but it still hurt.

— Find out more about Caitlin Downs

ELEVEN

I was told I could not do percussion in band because it was for boys. I did the flute, but ended up dropping out.

— Find out more about Samantha A Brooks

TWELVE

When my parents went to buy me a used car, the guy selling it told them it was a standard/stick shift and that because I was a girl they should go home and talk to me and make sure I could drive it. My mom was so offended but came home anyway to ask me and we agreed my dad could teach me. To this day I still remember every guy friend who rode in my car in college being floored at how good of a stick shift driver I was 😬

— Find out more about Cammeno Messana Murray

THIRTEEN

When I was in my second last year of high school, I had the goal of going to university to study science. My physics teacher told me in front of the boys in my physics class that girls don’t do science so I would never get anywhere in the science field. I set out to prove him wrong. I went to university and studied science. I then got a job with one of the major science organisations in Australia and was ran hands on science sessions for primary and secondary school students. My crowning moment was going to his high school and running a specialized science session for his class!

— Find out more about Jennie Petrey

FOURTEEN

I was always told about everything that I did that wasn’t “lady like” and how if I wasn’t “lady like” than no boys will want me and it was just sort of instilled into my psyche that I needed to focus on having a man, like I couldn’t possibly live without one. It made me so codependent as a teen/young adult.

— Find out more about Brigid-Ryan Milenkovski

FIFTEEN

Never in the family, but people around us (esp. neighbors and relatives) would always be concerned about our parents not having a son.. as we r three sisters,many people would say it to our faces, how our parents are being foolish not thinking of their old age etc etc.. I’m sure being an Indian you know how hung up Indians are on having sons.

We would often question our parents if there is something wrong about girls and my dad always said “it’s the way people feel ,not us and what others think is not our problem, so ignore!

— Find out more about Shalini Tyagi

SIXTEEN

Beautiful. For sure! I have a twin brother. So many times in my life I felt less than him for no reason. At work he would start after, be a good worker but have his own imperfections like meor…worse and yet, be promoted. As for treatment, I could come up with some memories.

But hey, being a twin is awesome.

— Find out more about Jewel Elise

How Kids Today Perceive India

What do kids outside of India really think about the country ? Do expat kids have any connection with their parents’ homeland?

Being a mom of two younger kids who haven’t yet visited India often, these are few of the questions I wonder a lot about. Having been raised in Kuwait, as an Indian I am no stranger to cultural life being confusing in many ways. Interestingly enough, my confusions were solved in my late 20s and totally resolved once I became a mother.

Which is why it is an everlasting curiosity within me to see what kids around me (all in pretty much the same boat I was in) , feel about being raised Indian and being American citizens. Other expats in our Facebook Group for Parents Raising Global Thought Leaders can relate.

[bctt tweet=”An essay competition for Republic Day of India provides an inside look into the way kids today perceive India.” username=”contactrwc”]

So when the opportunity to judge a kids’ writing competition came my way, I was elated beyond words to get a peak into growing minds.

As I read the several pieces that were submitted to the Republic Day of India competition I was thoroughly impressed. The topic being ” Memories of India “, was fascinating the depth of kids’ emotions regarding the same. What I learned was interesting to say the least.

They See India Differently

One entry was a beautiful piece about one evening’s experience with applying henna at a fair and seeing their father dancing at wedding. I could feel myself walking right beside her in that moment. Another had expressed their first train experience and even though you could tell that it was cumbersome for the little 7 year old, it was more than enjoyable as well.

You could feel that the experience during their visits mean so much more to them and uniquely so. To see the vibrancy in India through the eyes of young kids is very different. Often they compare the two countries they live in and visit and their perspective was

Fascinating New Perspectives

One child wrote so beautifully that he wondered where all the ants were constantly coming from in the house. His answer? ” So many ants were probably there because the food is so delicious. ” He continued to write about the summer he spent imagining the many reasons those ants would be roaming around the house.

It went to speak on how minutely a child thinks about what they experience.

They Experience Culture Vividly

Mundan ceremony of little ones or weddings of their siblings or cousins were described in such intricate detail. They found the celebrations a wonderful opportunity to rejoice life. Being an adult, I found many new customs within their experience that I even am new to.

As a parent, I have often worried that new cultural ceremonies (owning to size of crowds) might be overwhelming for my kids but reading those stories made me realize it is me not them that needs to brave the situation. For every custom is a spiritual experience for them.

Children Feel Close To Family, Despite Distances

It is a fear of many parents that the kids are distant from their family or relatives. Those essays assured me, while they may be far physically the kids are emotionally very well connected to those relatives who have taken the pains to develop the connection.

Being cared for, taken on bike rides, long walks or being taught yoga are all cherished memories.

There is an essential misconception among adults that being away from family makes kids aloof. But through those words I could sense that love surpasses all boundaries. So if there is any space felt, it is certainly a lack of adults to not develop a better connection.

Certainly not the child’s. All a child needs is to be loved.

Many Kids Feel Like Outsiders Already

And yet are excited to connect!

This stood out the most to me. A lot of the 12 and older kids mentioned in passing that doing so and so made them feel like “less of an outsider ” or helped them ” understand ” something (implying they feel the need to). Or how some one here in USA commented on something that is uniquely ” Indian ” about them affects their perception on visiting India.

To me this was interesting as I have often wondered how early is it today that kids get this feeling. As an Indian born and raised in Kuwait, it was only in my early 20s when I introspected my feelings enough to understand that I wasn’t as Indian as other kids.

What was hilarious was one 7 year old’s expression that the ” last trip to India helped them get in touch with the inner Indian which has been lost for many years “. ( parenting coaching at it’s best ) .

The experience was such a wonderfully inspiring one that I wanted to pen down tricks for other kids who would ever participate in essay writing. These are not by any means every judge’s criteria but per writing guidelines these are great rules of thumb to live by when writing creative and effective essays for any occasion.

To submit your child’s creative writing/arts, go ahead and email us at contact@localhost and we will feature them on our platform. Children, after all can use ALL the encouragement they can get.

To write and to contemplate the many ways they connect to their homeland.

Please Stop Telling Me What To Say To My Kids

There are so many articles “(Insert Number Here) Things Not To Say To Your Kids“ doing the rounds that tell you how to talk to your children. And I find it amusing to say the least.

I have a hard enough time keeping track of all the things to do in my day and everything the family needs. Telling me to reword myself in every parenting situation is an unrealistic goal.
We are all human. And the best part of being human is having emotions. Check out any robot movie! Being emotional makes us vulnerable to our surroundings.

So guess what?

When my child has to be told for the 10th time to wear his shoes as we are getting late for a class I am paying 30+ dollars for or my toddler keeps using the words ” Oh my Gosh. Look at her butt! “(from the movie Sing) in spite of being told not to over and over again, I will scold them. When my son is rude to me, I will give him a time out. When my daughter lies down on the floor screaming about candy after we have been out all day doing chores, I will come home and vent to my husband, passionately (and loudly).

Mind you, in no way am I condoning being sarcastic or humiliating you child. I am talking about those times that people say the right thing in a misplaced tone or words that slip out in exasperation! Yells that arise from spilled milk after you getting ready for guests or screams of caution when your child is doing something dangerous.

Forgive yourself those.

How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me

I was reading Martin Luther King Jr’s biography last week and was surprised that his father, a pastor no less whipped him mercilessly when he made mistakes. Yet more than the whipping MLK feared disappointing his father. He never lost sight of the fact that even though the consequences were severe, his father loved him and only meant to guide him.

And he turned into an inspiration for everyone around him.

When I was a child, I feared my mother’s eyes. When acting out, I could sense her across the room holding me in that particular stare that said, “I know what you did and you are going to get an earful when we go home!” Those eyes kept me grounded. I don’t remember the yelling. I was always secure knowing my mother loved me enough to pay give importance to all I do. However, I will always remember the important life lessons that came with.

Of course, I don’t condone whipping you child but why do we think times have changed so much that kids will get traumatized, forget how much they are loved if merely scolded or said the wrong thing to ?

A World Of Nice Parents

Imagine a world where everyone was always nice to their kids. Where you were mild mannered whether your child was right or wrong. Where you clapped for them even when they failed. Where you were always smiling and hugging them. That would lead to a world where children would not have the capability of processing negative emotions.

They wouldn’t have a sense of achievement. They would never have learned how to handle failure. When someone disagreed with them, they would be at a loss as to the right way to respond. In a world of bullies born of weaknesses, they need to understand that sometimes people act out when they are actually hurting inside.

The pressure of being “right” all the time will eventually get to you. Notice when your child is behaving badly in public and you have tried everything positive that isn’t working. The child needs a time out or telling to but you need to go to the car/home first. Think about how suffocated you feel during that time. How upset! Now imagine if you went months feeling like that. Eventually all those emotions will catch up and you will definitely implode! Is that what you want to instill in your child?

My mother often told me a famous Indian story of a thief who grew up with a mother who pampered and praised him no matter what. When he finally got arrested, his mom went to visit him. He called her close to him and bit her ear off saying, “ You are my mother. It was your job to twist my ear and tell me when I was doing wrong. “

It is not a parent’s job to be nice to their children. It is to love them. It is to guide them. To be mature human beings ready to lead the next generation.

How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me and My Parenting | Family goals | Life Lessons

Being Human in Parenting

Today the culture is so self serving and peer affected. It is our responsibility to ensure children learn to differentiate right from wrong. To do the right thing when it needs doing. To do chores. To study hard. To be kind, gentle, responsible people who know how to respect every thing and being.

I have yet to meet a person who does something without prompting. And after multiple prompts it is natural to end up irritated. By using different strategies, I try to find the one way that will convince them of what needs doing. Every day is a constant battle with children. From brushing you teeth to the second they close their eyes, there is sly tact, persistent prompts, exasperated yelling involved. On rare occasions the method/wording is uncalled for. And I apologize. But that too teaches my children that reacting wrongly is natural. It is acceptable to make mistakes as long as you are willing to course correct.

Kids should know there are consequences to their actions. That it is okay to vent. They should understand that just because someone yells or says something that they don’t like doesn’t mean that person hates them. Often the person is just tired of not being heard. Youngsters today need to know how to process emotions. Words are only as important as the intention behind them.

[bctt tweet=”A parent’s job is not to be nice to their child. It is to guide them. Martin Luther King Jr. Biography made me introspect on what my job as a parent really is. ” username=”contactrwc”]

I will give you, the “what not to say” lists thoughtfully made are useful in making us ponder about how words can be perceived. In sensitive situations that is a must! Words can hurt, yes! But we need to remember that the intention behind sentences uttered is more important that the words themselves. We need to focus on our history with the person uttering them. We need to remember people make mistakes.

Acknowledge that and process it. Discuss it with the person in question if it truly matters. Then move on.

If we all start focusing on what is said to us and ignore actions that truly speak their own language, we will lose sight of the good in humanity.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

7 Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance

My 7 year old son wants to be an inventor when he grows up. For now, his aim to is create lavish Lego creations based on dinosaurs, Minecraft, Avengers and more. He gets ideas and doesn’t stop till he has completed his creation. And he often gets overwhelmed!

He gets it from me. I too am like a steam roller when I get an idea into my head and I just cannot stop till I am done with the many, many items on my list. Only in the past year have I discovered the power of goal setting and the many challenges that they encounter and believe that it is an essential trait for kids to learn at a young age.

Not only does it prevent overwhelm, it is of great importance to learn what goals to focus on and how to keep them instead of having to give up.

Why would kids need goals ? To apply effectively to

Grades
Hobbies or interests
Exercise
TV viewing
Free time
Savings
Sports
Education
Behavior
Chores
and much much more.

Setting Goals

It is often that overwhelm comes in the form of overzealous goal setting. The most important step to learning how to be a person of perseverance is to attain the fine balance to awareness, priority, work and time.

1. HAVE SPECIFIC GOALS

“Little goals are the best way to get kids moving toward big goals,” says Jim Wiltens, a leadership-training instructor in the San Francisco-area schools. “Meeting a goal gives kids an incredible surge of energy.” It is important to teach kids that not every goal is worth attaining even. Listen to what the kids want and steer them gently towards what is something that they can actually work towards. Make sure to take baby steps.

Reading a page a day, picking up toys in a room or in our case creating one creation in a set amount of time is a good enough goal to begin with.

You know your child best. Crafting a vision board or making a list of their dream goals and picking the ones that are specific to them are essential.

2. KEEP THE RIGHT TOOLS

You will need to make a goal kit for your kids. This could be a calendar, timer, a marker and a log of some sort to maintain the goal/s they set for themselves. Download the ones below and ensure they go through it at a time every day.

Journal writing is a great way to stay on top as well .

3. PLAN THE WORK IT TAKES

Every goal takes a different amount of time and energy. It is important to ensure the kids think through the steps it takes to achiever the goal.

Teach them to break the goal down into smaller actions and work on how much time each action takes.

4. FOCUS ON THE TIME

Something that many kids lack is an awareness of time. Make sure you mark the calendar or teach them how to set a timer for everything they need to achieve. This is a great way to educate them about time awareness, taking breaks and moderation.

Keeping To Goals

This is the trickiest part and something all of us struggle with.

5. HOW TO PRIORITIZE

This is something that is totally essential to creating goal oriented, self driven kids. It is important for kids to learn how to put their goals above other things. The number one lesson they need to learn is that the only way to tick that goal off their day is to put it first and put in the work.

Set a time for your goal and then tick it off!

A neat trick is to tie it into something that the kids love depending on the goal. So, if the goal is something they love doing, they could forgo their favorite treat or activity for that day. And if the goal is something they don’t like doing so much, they could get an extra treat or something they rarely get to do within the time period they are trying to achieve their goal.

6. DEAL WITH SELF DOUBT

A big part of goal setting that many kids do not know how to deal with is the self doubt that comes with when they fail to succeed on the way. It is important to encourage them to push a little harder some days and equally important to let them know when it is okay to forgive yourself or let go.

7. CELEBRATE SUCCESS

And most important of all is to ensure to celebrate any and all successes big and small. A special treat that you have thought of before hand itself is specially great. Preferably an experience vs something materialistic.

Let Them Fail

This will possibly be the most important thing to teaching kids to reach their goals. As parents we hate to see them fail but nothing teaching a child the important aspect of staying on top of Their goals than failing to meet a deadline and suffering the consequences. Better early than late. Taking ownership is a big part of teaching kids to be responsible .

Download the complete free Goal Tracking Template.

Why Our Hindu Family Celebrates Christmas

My Christmas story is not a magical one. But it often seems like it to me. There is no Father Christmas but there is certainly Uncle B. A bear of a man with a hunky mustache and a smile that lit up a room ! From the vantage point of a 2-3 year old girl this man was a mountain of warmth.

I am a Hindu, Indian citizen by birth! Born and raised in Kuwait, an Arab country. Surrounded by a community of friends and family made up of mostly Gujraatis and South Indians (all Hindu) or Muslims.

But my biggest influence of food, celebration and love came from the the apartment next door ! A Christian home filled with love and faith.

In Kuwait, you live in apartments. Life is pretty much boxed up. That means you are right next to your neighbors and are inevitably aware of the families living around you.

But finding the perfect neighbors as we all know is a boon! In the 80s, our immediate neighbors in Kuwait were Christians originating from Goa, India. A wonderful family : Uncle B, Aunty M and their two kids Big J and Little J. Everyone who knows me for more than a year, hears about them and definitely around Christmas.

It also often comes up when they wonder how I am a hard core non vegetarian while my family on both my parents’ sides are pure vegetarian.

Being Loved As Part of Another Family

Only someone as lucky as me could have been loved as much as I was in that home. Uncle B gave the best hugs. Aunty M always welcomed me with a smile. He worked at night and stayed home all day. He cooked amazing meals for his family before going off to work in the evening. I was constantly in and out of their house. Meals, play time, any time I could get away with it, I would be over there playing with my little friends.

Whenever I was over and Uncle B was cooking, he sat me up on the kitchen counter and fed me with his own hands talking up a storm. He teased me, quizzed me, laughed at my silliness, his eyes twinkling with abandon. I don’t remember what we discussed but I still can feel those moments full of heart. The yummy chicken, sausages, cutlets he made were relished by me wholeheartedly. My parents not too happy about it initially, encouraged me to choose my foods as they could see I enjoyed it so much.

Aunty M had the most unique way of calling out my name Atiti. Their kids Big J and Little J were my best and maybe only real friends for the first 10 years of my life. My mom baby-sat Little J when Aunty M worked and tutored Big J in the subject of Hindi . I bossed both of them all the time, considering them siblings. Even at that little age I knew they would always follow my naughty demands. Around them I felt like an invincible princess whose every word was gold!

Christmas All My Childhood

Christmas time was celebrated in a big way in their home. Everyone who came knew they would find me there. I was a permanent fixture.

Their whole circle, distant family and work friends included became people who I considered part of my circle. Each person who came there shared the same jokes each time they met me at any event.

The tree would be decked up. Everyone dressed in their best. Every single year everything would be placed and decorated exactly like the last year and it was perfect! Festive music, the nativity scene under the stereo system and scrumptious food.

Glitter galore! For many years, for lack of vegetarian options in their menu Uncle and Aunty fed my mom and dad sausage rice with the sausages removed. Eventually my dad caught on but sweetly laughed it off!

A Unique Family Of 8

The eight of us were a unique family. When mom fell down the stairs 7 months pregnant fracturing her foot, it was Aunty M who carried her to the hospital. When Aunty M needed help with anything she would come calling my mom, “Achana!” (she still pronounces our names the same way) with an authoritative voice knowing my mom would always be home. We celebrated Rakhi and Diwali with them, lighting sparklers together. I don’t think either of our doors were often locked.

The Gulf war happened and my family had to leave the country. We moved back to Kuwait two years later. Our homes were far away from our “neighbors” now but our hearts were still close. We met less often, spoke less often. But whenever we met, Aunty M and Uncle B still pampered me and my little brother just as much.

And Christmases always warranted a visit to their welcoming home.

When I Lost Uncle B

I was in college in India when I got the news that Uncle B was sick. Next time we met him, he was the thinnest I think a grown man could possibly be! A year later, I was riding the bus somewhere in India when my mom called to tell me he had passed away succumbing to his illness.

I remember that moment like it was yesterday. The deep regret I felt haunts me to this day of not being able to say good bye. I do not know what I would have said to him but when I did finally calm down that day on the bus, I said a prayer and told him I will always miss him.

Celebrating Christmas On My Own

Once I had kids, I wanted them to be able to feel the magic of Christmas! For me to had over the treasure trove of memories to them.

The joy of the Christmas tree, the gaiety in the carols, the beauty in the story of the day Jesus Christ was born. The cozy warmth of the lights that twinkle in the dark cold nights giving hope and happiness!

It was big day when we finally brought home our very own Christmas tree and decorated it amidst great excitement starting a tradition that I know will last a life time!

Another wish that grows with me is a desire to be that kind of person in every child and friend’s life. Hoping to be such an epitome of warmth that they can feel it. Someone who they would cherish when time flew by. To be Adi Aunty to children around me.

Christmas in my home is surely rooted in the love for friends who left within me a part of them.

Every year when the lights are lit and everything starts getting that punch of red my first smile is always at the memory of Uncle B, may he rest in peace. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays celebrating everything and everyone you hold dear!

What is the root of your Christmas story?

23 Lessons About Life Learnt From Kids

How wondrous are kids !!! It’s mind blowing to observe their dynamics within and the conclusions they draw on a daily basis. Children’s Day – November 14th in India, November 20th around the world, I want to take the time to appreciate the many, many lesson kids teach us about living fuller lives !

The holiday was first celebrated worldwide in October 1953, adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1954. In India, Children’s Day is observed on November 14 as a public holiday, and is dedicated to the birth anniversary of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, for the extreme love for children and worked passionately for the welfare of children.

Thanks to Facebook and parents around the world sharing snippets of their lives, I am inspired daily by kids’ resilience, their creativity, their humor, their compassion and their capacity to think break the proverbial box, not just think outside it.

Of course we don’t need a day to celebrate our children. They are special. In more ways than one. But it’s great to take a minute to acknowledge what THEY bring into our lives. Not just happy moments, and anecdotes but how they make our lives so much more fuller and better by making us want to be better people !

Here are lessons from around the world talking about how the little wonders they come across or live with have inspired –

Lesson 1

My children taught me to love technology. It’s because of them I embraced the internet and smart phones and Facebook. (I draw the line at SnapChat. Yuck!) They seem to learn so quickly, and embrace new ideas so effortlessly. They’re grown up now, and I admire them very much.

Kay Bolden

Lesson 2

I taught children so I learned from them, from my own and now from my grandchildren. They taught me to listen, to be creative, to challenge myself just as I challenged them, to have fun. To make snow angels, to paint, to roll on the floor, to see how care and loving can create wonderful human beings.

Jan Cox

Lesson 3

My children are emerging adults now (22, 20 & 17). They have taught me how to surrender myself to the moment, to be more present, honest and loving. They’ve also taught me so much about God’s unconditional love; mine is imperfect, but I can’t image NOT loving any one of my children regardless of the path they follow. I believe God’s heart is like that (and so much more).

Caroline DePalatis

Lesson 4

I’ve learned to slow down and appreciate the small things. There’s nothing so important it’s worth rushing through those magical small moments with them.

Leanna Guillen Mora

Lesson 5

Taking the time to do things. We’re always in a rush. Let’s slow down!

At night when I often struggled with self doubt and overwhelm from school, my mom would firmly say: Deanne, gives Me a shower and then go to bed. No more thinking tonight.

I still hear her voice when my mind gets spinning and tired.

Deanne Welsh

Lesson 6

My children have definitely proved to me that “our children do as we do and not as we tell them to do”. Whether it be us, as parents, their teachers or their peers, actions speak louder than words.

Lisa Sadleir

Lesson 7

For me, being a mom is equal parts challenge and fulfillment. Our kids teach us so many lessons! Parenthood has been the greatest experience of my life. Thanks for the thread!

Katie O Connel

Lesson 8

Kids are so creative by nature. They love experiment and play. By listening to them I learnt what works best in teaching.

Galina Nikitina

Lesson 9

Kids are taught to have good manners and discipline from not only what we teach but also from our deeds. We always try to make it right teaching them to ask sorry and say thanks but unfortunately sometimes we totally forget to apologize or thank them when its needed.

Recently I was reminded by my kid to apologize when I accidentally dropped her toy. That moment I realized its crucial to stay in a way we advice them how to be.

Suja Dinesh

Lesson 10

More than anything,i hv learned forgiveness n giving a second chance to others!!
Kids never hold grudges, no ego issues !!

Shalini Tyagi

Lesson 11

I have learned that curiosity keeps us inspired and present! It’s a pathway into just BEing and enjoying, basking in, this BEingness.

I also learned, many years ago, that children are extremely perceptive. They can sense and intuit so much, and it’s very worthwhile to listen to them. To sit with them and learn from their perspectives. The wisdom they hold, without effort, is beautiful!

Courtney Lynn Harris

Lesson 12

The greatest lesson I’ve learned from my children is how to be a Mom. When I was eight and half months pregnant with my first child in 1992, I remember calling my mom crying. In between sobs, I managed to get out the words, “Mom, what business do I have being pregnant? I don’t know the first thing about kids!” I was 30 years old and, believe it not, I’d never even babysat before. There are no wiser words than those my mom spoke back then. “Jane, you’ll just know.” And that’s exactly what I’ve experienced through the years. Even though children aren’t born with an “instruction manual,” being a Mom, somehow, just came natural. Somehow, I just knew what to do. My children are now 21 and 25, and although I still wish sometimes they’d come with an instructional manual, they’re still teaching me so many wonderful lessons about being a Mom.

Janie Saylor

Lesson 13

My kids have taught me to dial back my brain. I find I’m thinking slower and feeling deeper than I ever did. Having kids wasn’t just a new chapter in life for me, it was an entirely new book. Where I focused on the goal and the destination now I have realized the value of the journey and the experience. I feel bad for my husband – it’s like he is now married to a totally different person!

Puneeta Chhitwal-Varma

Lesson 14

It’s okay to forgive. I make so many mistakes but every time I apologise, my children greet me with open arms and no grudges while I’m likely to mull over how they are “always” behaving terribly even if they do it only sometimes.

Aparajita Kumar

Lesson 15

I have learned from kids how to be resilient. Kids have difficulties in their lives, just like adults do. They somehow seem to bounce back more easily. Children have taught me to enjoy life in the moment, no matter what your circumstances are.

Cara Whitney Bangerter

Lesson 16

I’ve learned that they are their own and never a carbon copy of ourselves. Watching them grow into their personalities has been amazing. I’m so proud of my three daughters and the women they are becoming.

David Mike

Lesson 17

Believe in your heart and follow your dreams from the 5 yo. Be a succulent and suck up the memories from the 11 yo. From both: sometimes a fire in your heart can get you into a wee bit of trouble. No one can get you down but you, figuratively, and down the mountain.

Nicole Fassnacht Akers

Lesson 18

My 14 month old grand daughter who passed away, taught us how to live in the present, she taught us that little things matter, and how to cherish what we have.

Anne Gollias Peterson

Lesson 19

I’ve learned children thrive on love and want more of us and more of our attention, than they do material things. Children say it like it is and the humor is so natural. For example, one morning I was driving my 4 year old grandson to school. We saw his neighbor, an elderly woman, walking rather slowly down her driveway. I said, “Hunter, I wonder if your neighbor isn’t feeling well today. She’s moving a little slow this morning.” Hunter replied in a matter-of-fact kind of way and with no disrespect intended, “That’s what old peoples do. They move slow…. Like a sloth.” I cracked up so hard and he didn’t laugh.

Dorris Swift

Lesson 20

I am learning that children are sponges that absorb all the information available and then link them in their minds. We can enhance this learning by not just teaching them what’s in their schoolbooks but also getting them interested in other hobbies and interests to develop an overall learning.

I have learned we should never underestimate theri ability and capabilities by our measures. We need to challenge them to think out of the box and be amazed at their creativity.

Rebecca Vijay

Lesson 21

I learned the graceful power of compassion in response to fear, and the quiet strength of dedication in the face of difficulty from my 8-yr-old grandson.

You can read more about the lessons her grandson’s taught her on her website below.

Danielle Bernock

Lesson 22

I’ve learned from my kids the importance of being fully and authentically myself. As I watch them grow, I admire their unique personality traits, and I see how they really shine when being true to themselves. I feel like I have learned this lesson many times in my life, but it still helps to remember that I’m happiest being myself.

Cathy Brown

Lesson 23

To feel my feelings fully and let them go and move on.

Stephanie Berryman

My Lesson

The Biggest life lesson my kids teach me daily is that there has to be a sense of wonder about every thing we do. The fascinating joy and enthusiasm they have to everything that’s new is truly heart warming. In this cynical world, it is often easy to get lost in the darkness. My kids ensure that my mornings begin with a light heart and smile.

These still just a drop of what kids teach us on a daily basis. And that’s just one of the reasons why it is our responsibility to ensure they are given every possible opportunity to grow in a healthy and happy environment. Not just with our view point, but with the help of the village that is the world !

Pay attention !!! Kids not only inspire to live a better life, they show you a whole new way to look at the world around you.

7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy

I read the headline. Mass shooting in Texas. My throat constricts. My heart beat stops. I look at the number of people who died, and my eyes well up imagining what their families will be going through in the next few hours.

This has been a vicious repeated cycle of despair recently. What a horror filled end of year it’s been! Hurricanes, acts of terrorism, mass shootings have left families reeling under the possibility of tragedy slamming into their lives at a moment’s notice.

Lost links. Hearts broken. Lives forever changed!

Highly sensitive people like me, specially those who have experienced loss earlier and are now parents, imagine what it would be like be in that situation again. We constantly look over our shoulder, anticipating danger. Prepare for what we would do, should we feel threatened. We scour information for how to try to stay safe and avoid public places that might be an easy target.

For acts of God, we make endless lists and prep our homes for eventualities.

Through all this, I worry about what future our children holds. Are we preparing them enough for what is to come. Even worse, what might come.

Harsh Reality For Kids Today

A few weeks ago, my son told me about a drill they do at school. He explained to me what they would do if a “mean man” came to the school wanting to do bad things. We don’t watch the news in our home. So, I don’t think he yet knows the actual implications of what will happen to him. My heart fills with fear (is an understatement) at the thought of him and his adorable little friends who come home often ever having to go through that drill in reality.

What a sad world we live in where we need to prepare our kids for such circumstances! But taking the school’s lead, in spite of how nauseous as the thought of it makes me I have to prepare my kids to the best of my ability to be ready in such cases.

[bctt tweet=”6 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy” username=”contactrwc”]

Have a Code Word

If your kids are anything like mine, they do not listen to anything you have to say easily. Talk to your kids about a word they think denotes urgency and that puts them on the alert for instructions to come.

Prep Them With Set of Instructions

I’m a big believer in preparation. So make sure your kids know to Run, Hide, or do whatever it is that you ask them to do. I will not lay out a hard line for you, because every child is different and needs a different set of instructions to follow. At school, kids mimic other kids. At home though, it is up to parents to gauge what detail of information your kids can process.

For example, in my home I say the below to my kids.

Listen to what mom dad or an authority figure says.
Stay with mom and dad no matter what.
It will be a very difficult situation so stay very quiet and listen hard.
There could be situation where we say Run then RUN!
Find a person in uniform and tell them your address and phone number.
If mom and dad are not there, call so and so and ask for help.

Teach Them About Emergency Needs

The school is wonderful at teaching kids the difference between needs and wants, but in tragic times, needs take on a different meaning. Teach them what a need is in case of a natural disaster, health emergency etc. If you can, prep a bag with bare necessities, and emergency care that they know where to look for.

Reiterate The Above Over And Over

Like everything else in life, this too needs practice. So, ensure to make your kids understand that the above is important and needs to be remembered.

Talk To Your Kids About Predators and Acts of God

My kids are super friendly. It has been a hard journey teaching them about how to figure out what a bad man does and how they should protect themselves.

It is even more difficult to explain to my fear filled son that a tornado is not something that comes randomly with every rainfall. Explaining to him the nature of weather and how hurricanes and other natural disasters has been helpful.

Be With Your Kids

This seems like a no brainier but in the hustle of every day life, we often don’t get time to get in that extra snuggle time.

These are difficult times. More than anything, kids need to know they are safe and loved. My kids are sensitive so even when we talk about monster men or bad situations they get disturbed. Also, with information coming in from all quarters even if you protect your child from the media, they may have friends who talk to them about real events. Make sure to be present with your kids to stay connected to what’s going on in their little hearts.

Have open lines of communication always!

Take Actions For A Brighter Future

Kids are always listening, observing and pick up on body language cues. While it is impossible to be positive all the time, we can teach kids to be empowered by being great examples our selves. In spite of such events, we need to hold onto hope and light the candle for our future generation.

Volunteer as much as you can. Vote for the right candidates. Have open dialogue about mental illness, drug use, relationships, peer pressure and current trends. Surround yourself with positive energies.

Above all, ensure to do everything in your power to be a kind human being yourself! And do make sure to give your kids an extra tight on these disturbing days.

What would you suggest we add to this list ?

Using Halloween To Impart Values To Kids

A chill has set in the air. Leaves are turning brown, dancing away to the tune of the swirling wind. This usually means Halloween is here!

While partaking in the fun, this is an opportunity to give the children an all round experience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to help children make this holiday about more than chocolate and character costumes? To give them life lessons crucial to their very being.

Safety First

Being safe is always paramount. And by re enforcing the below guidelines before trick or treating, you give children a gentle reminder to always be safe.

No candy from strangers. This is for kids who go trick or treating themselves. No matter how friendly, they should be wary of taking candy from strangers or going near cars with unknown people in them.
Candy has to be brought home before being eaten. Parents should always be given a chance to go through all the candy before it is eaten to check for any allergy issues or in case it has been tampered with. Yes, this is a scary thought but a necessary precaution.
Decorate costumes and bags with reflective tape or stickers and, if possible, choose light colors so that the children can be seen as darkness falls. Have kids carry glow sticks or flashlights to help them see and be seen.
Always walk on sidewalks. When there are no sidewalks, walk facing traffic as far to the left as possible.
Watch for cars that are turning or backing up. Children should never dart out into the street or cross between parked cars.
Make sure costumes are not too big to avoid kids tripping on them.

Create Costumes

Do you really want to spend $50+ on a costume to be wore for an evening or a couple of parties ? I know we think about what the fun outfits and you go, “ Yay !” You immediately imagine the cute pictures your kids will be posing for. But this too can be turned into a learning experience by using your imagination to get the final output. You don’t necessarily have to get Martha Stewart crafty!

Two years ago, our son wanted to be Iron man. We stuck a dollar store light on his Iron man t shirt (after a lot of trying), put on a beard and he was Tony Stark! The year before that, he wore a long, tattered black sweater and one dollar glasses with a lightning rod on his forehead with a marker and he was Harry Potter!

But discussing with your child months, maybe weeks in advance how you can get the desired output without taking the easy road and picking something. Now I must admit this may take a bit of convincing on your part.

The force of peer pressure and easy of shiny store bought costumes is strong but it is truly worth it when they get really into it. You can actually see the kids’ brain gears moving and the spark in their eyes when they feel they have the right combination of things to throw together.

Last ear, a neighbor came to my house with a black cloth wrapped around his head. Just a cloth but he was so proud that he was a Ninja that I gave him extra brownie points and candy for putting in the effort. On the extremely inventive side, another kid rigged up a blood squirting apparatus to turn into the character from the movie Scream.

Most importantly, this helps kids subtly understand the essence of being unique and not falling under peer pressure.

Plan Pranks

Play a joke. Scare them silly. Take some time to plan some old school or new off the internet, kid friendly pranks. Get some gags at the store or make your own. I love playing the “I’m pulling my thumb out” joke on my kids. It freaks them out but they secretly love it (which is why they ask for repeat performances!) .

Pranks are not a necessity but teach children to be able to laugh at themselves. That being scared is okay. They learn to not take themselves too seriously, which they tend to grow to as they get older.

Planning kid friendly pranks with them assists in thinking ahead and anticipating reactions. Of course this should include the discussion of not playing pranks that might hurt others’ feelings which will invariably educate them about empathy.

Rehearse Manners

I sadly often see kids knocking on the door, grabbing a handful of candy and walking away. This leads us to necessity of the below re iteration of etiquette with children days before the event.

Say “Trick or Treat” or “Happy Halloween”. Wishing on an occasion is very essential. You need to greet anyone celebrating and specially anyone who opens the door.
Limit yourself to one. This is a great time to drive home the dying art of moderation in the face of instant gratification.
Say “Thank You”. Children need to be told not everyone chooses to partake in the festivities. This makes it incredibly important to display gratitude towards those who choose to be generous this holiday.
Do not scare kids who are already nervous or make fun of kids who might have a costume mishap or get petrified of a trick gone wrong.

Use The Candy For More Than Consumption

One quarter of all the candy sold annually in the U.S. is purchased for Halloween.

Eating a bucket full of candy is not healthy in any way. Not for your teeth, not for your body and certainly not on your mind. There are many other options to choose to multiply the joy of the receiving the candy. Firstly, make sure you have a set number of candy you and the children can partake. Then,

Give to the less fortunate. Keeping your selections, the rest of the candy can be delivered to in person or be mailed to a charity of the kids’ choice. Searching for a charity piques their interest to learn more about the world around them. This is a wonderful way to teach children awareness, responsibility and of course the joy of donation.
Get crafty and make gifts out of them for an upcoming occasion. For eg : with Thanksgiving right after, it is a great way to turn the left over candy into special treats for their friends to express gratitude to.
In the immediate days after, the kids can wear their costumes and take extra candy to a local senior center for an evening of reverse trick-or-treating.
Another wonderful sharing opportunity would be to share their left over candy with those children who for whatever reason could not celebrate on Halloween day. Have a party, extending the festivities and ask everyone who has candy to share and divide them among all attending.
Introduce the Candy Fairy. Ask children if they would like to swap out their candy with a toy. They can place all the candy into a bucket and the next morning the Candy fairy magically transforms them into a toy.
Freeze the candy or save it for later. This is the simplest thing you can do while teaching children how to save for later and indulging only as treats.

Talk About the History & Evolution of Halloween

For children interested, the historical transformation of this holiday will carry significance. Halloween is actually a celebration of Celtic origin to ward of evil ghosts and spirits. It marks the advent of the winter season as the days get shorter and winter gets longer. Historically/Culturally, this is supposed to be a day when the lines between the dead and alive blurs so bonfires were lit and costumes were donned to ward them off.

From being a day of the dead to a day when all dead, specially saints are celebrated with child like activities like the bobbing of apples and having festive parades to now being enjoyed all over the world with candy and costumes: Halloween has certainly morphed multiple times into it’s most fun form. You can read more here Trick or Treat: A History of Halloween and fun easy to read ghost stories for the kids here – Roald Dahl’s Book of Ghost Stories

Any opportunity is exponentially meaningful when used to impart moral values to kids. Let kids be open to the idea of starting new traditions. Partying and gratification aside, it is wonderful to use every chance we can to raise caring children who know how to celebrate responsibly. Wishing you you all wholesome and happy Halloween!

Read more on our book, Strong Roots Have No Fear, how to use every day moments to raise confident, global thought leaders.

Use Halloween To Impart Values To Kids | Raising World Children | Wholesome Halloween

Celebrating Different Colors of Rangoli This Diwali

No Diwali is complete without the beautiful Rangoli adorning your home. Be it in with powder, side walk chalk or playdough. Rangoli brings many colors together to form a very unique design. Similarly, people from around the world rejoice together every Diwali lighting up their homes, creating intricate designs, celebrating with delicious fare and paying homage to age old traditions passed on from generation to generation.

Rangoli - Diwali Reasons - Raising World Children Ankur Avashti Patel — ©Ankur Avasthi Patel

Diwali is essentially a series of five days –

1. Dhanteras.
2. Choti Diwali or Naraka Chaturdasi.
3. Badi Diwali or Laxmi Puja.
4. Naya Saal or New Year.
5. Bhai Dooj.

People traditionally buy silver/gold/new utensils for the kitchen. Hang up the toran (door decor) and create the rangoli. Light Diyas outside your house. Choti Diwali and Badi Diwali are the actual Diwali days on which you pray for well being and prosperity of your family.

Badi Diwali is the last day of the Hindu calendar and thus specially auspicious. Naya Saal is when you wish all your near and dear ones a very Happy New Year as the new Hindu year begins. Bhai Dooj is a day for siblings to grow close as we cherish their love and pray for their well being.

The Varied Shades Of Diwali : Different Origins One Celebration

India is a land of many languages and sub cultures. Diwali, originally known as Deepavali is celebrated by Indians all over the world and for different reasons.

North India

Every mythological story Diwali is derived from teaches that good will always triumph over evil.

In the Ramayan, when Lord Ram returned home, the city was lit up with diyas and the people rejoiced as the prodigal son returned home.

Lord Ram, the most beloved prince and son is sent to exile by his father because of a promise he made to one of his wives (granting any two wishes when she wants). Laxman, his devoted brother chooses to go on exile with his brother and sister in law Sita. After years of hardships, Sita one day sees a deer she desires and on her behest Sri Ram and Laxman go after it. She consequently gets kidnapped by Raavan when she crosses the Laxman rekha (a spellbound line made outside their home to keep her safe by her brother in law). Ram and Laxman slay Raavan, saving her with the help of Hanuman an ardent devotee of Sri Ram. They all come back home to Ayodhya (on Diwali) among great pomp and show only to send her into exile all on her own when a citizen of the city raises a question of her purity after living with Raavan for so many years. She goes into the forest where she brings up her two sons. After years, when his sons cross his path in battle, Lord Ram goes back to bring his wife home. She in turn chooses to go back to Mother Earth instead.

South India

In South India, Lord Krishna slaying Narakasura. Narakasura was a demon drunk with power stole the earrings of Aditi (mother of all Devas) and kidnapped 16000 women. The Devas were unable to stop him and so they went to Lord Vishnu to reincarnate as Krishna, so as to destroy the evil demon and save the women.

Marwaris and Gujratis

Diwali is the new year time for Marwaris and Gujaratis. This is when the merchants close the accounts of the old year and pray to the goddess of wealth that the new year should open with even bigger increase of trade. Kali Chaudas is devoted to the worship of Maha-Kali or Shakti as this is the day Kali killed the wicked Raktavija. Also referred to as Narak-Chaturdashi, Kali Chaudas is the day to abolish laziness and evil. Thus, many regions pray to Goddess Laxmi (giver of weath) on this day.

Jainism

To the Jains it marks the day after Lord Mahavira attained nirvana. He was released from his worldly body on the night of the full moon. So the people of Pavapuri, where he attained nirvana, lit lamps in their doorways as a symbol of their guru’s enlightenment.

Sikhism

This day for Sikhs celebrates the release of Guru Hargobindji along with 52 Indian kings who were imprisoned along with him at the Gwalior fort by Emperor Shah Jahan in 1619. This day is thus also known as Bandi Chorr Diwas (meaning the day of freedom).

Nepal

Diwali is also celebrated in Nepal and the Indian states of Assam, Sikkim and Darjeeling in West Bengal. The five-day festival in these places is considered to be of great importance as it shows reverence to not just the humans and the Gods, but also to the animals like crows, cows and dogs who maintain an intense relationship with humans.

So what is it that all these origin stories teach kids ?

Love your family.
Respect those you care about.
Listen to your parents.
Support your loved ones always.
Stand by what is right.
Freedom is a birth right.
Choices have consequences.
Women should be nurtured.
Every woman has a right to make her own choices.
Above all, be loyal.

Do Not –

Think ill of others.
Let ego get in the way of your relationships.
Disrespect those you care about.
Make decisions in haste.
Be selfish or greedy.
Pay heed to the negative voices.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.

Overcome These Very Real Diwali Struggles

This post contain Affiliate Links. The opinions, thoughts and frustrations are of the author alone.

It’s that time of year again. No, not the time for turkey or Christmas trees as much as I love that time of the year as well. It is the time for Diwali! Time for joy abound. Delicacies sweet and sour. Colorful dresses. Family Traditions and Time With Friends.

But with all it’s joys, it is in truth also that time of the year when –

My Family Gets Nervous As I Start Spring Cleaning

Diwali means getting the house in pristine condition. Before Holi and before Diwali are two times when I ruthlessly de-clutter and spare no object the broom. Of course during this course many much needed but never used objects get tossed or donated. When I start the battle against clutter, the banshee within me rears her head in exhaustion and my family dreads this phase.

Thanks to my husband, I know better than to do it all in one day or week even. So now I prep for this slowly and steadily and remember to breathe, take breaks and know it’s not the end all!

The Festive Decoration Plays Hide and Seek.

We love our Deepavali decor and can’t wait to put it around the house for that warm festive feeling. Except they decide to play hide and seek with me. Every year I can swear I know where I had put them last year but yet again, I have to go on a treasure hunt to find them.

Last year, I wrote the location in my phone. Easy peasy.

The Tangled Lights Create Havoc

The tangled Diwali/Christmas lights have to untangled. Sigh! My husband dreads finding those little bulbs that come what may will not light up.

We wrap them around a cardboard cut out and keep a lot of little extra bulbs handy. But this year for Diwali, I’m going to surprise my husband with a light organizer ( yes, it’s a thing ! ) that’s pretty cool.

Rangolis Continue To Be My Nemesis

Who doesn’t love beautiful Rangoli designs to adorn their doorway. But if you are anything like me, and totally uncoordinated when it comes to making intricate designs, you can feel my frustration.

Thank God for Stencils and Sidewalk chalk. Because, why not ?!

I Fret About What to Wear

What do I wear? I don’t get to go to India very often. With my family in Kuwait and air fare being sky high for God knows what reason, it is not easy for me to stay totally updated with fashion trends. Come festive season, I get nerves thinking of what I will wear. Specially when I hear of all the beautiful new fashion that’s come in traditional wear from friends.

Luckily, I don’t worry about being “trendy” for more than a few minutes. I wrap myself into the gorgeous saris I have and have blast enjoying the festivities. I even make up my own trend by going Indo-western, that is mixing western wear with Indian accessories.

The Smoke Detectors Cry

My smoke detectors wail in agony at the Diyas that I make on Dhanteras smoke up the home. It takes me a hour and half to make those beautiful diyas from flour and the detector rejects them in 10 mins.

To that end, this year I bought prelit candles that are just awesome. These are what I will use along with my precious home made diyas. Take that you, smoke detectors you!

We Miss Celebrating With Crackers

It’s sad every year when the HOA sends a circular to not light up any sparklers or firecrackers of any kind because it’s forbidden by our county. I never had the pleasure of bursting crackers when I was in Kuwait so I don’t miss it much but from having lived in India for a couple of years I know how much fun they are to rejoice with. I so wish my kids could have that joy.

So what we do instead?

We collect dry leaves, twigs etc and use these to create a bonfire in your back yard.
Fill up balloons with glitter or pieces of colored paper. Burst these in the evening for a vibrant ambiance.
Kids could even blow up paper bags and burst giving you the cheerful sound of crackers.
Did I mention I make Diyas out of wheat flour? The kids have a blast making them.

The Kids Wonder Yet Again Why We Celebrate Diwali

When I was young I did not understand and even negated the beauty of the mythology of Ramayan. I could not find respect in my heart for a avataar of God who would exile his wife for no fault of her own. But now, over the years I have understood that it is not just a story to glorify God in the incarnation of Ram. It is a way to teach kids real world values.

So, I encourage my kids to ask questions about the story and try to explain in the simplest form. It is a story where

We should not be so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes.
That when you do not pay heed to the warnings of those you love, you suffer.
That not respecting women, can lead to the downfall of even Kings.
That the happiness one feels when a child comes home is priceless!

But that is of course some of my interpretation. Anyone who reads scriptures or mythology derives their own meanings and using them to grow in their own life!

We Miss Our Family Back Home Terribly

This is the biggest frustration of today’s times and living so far from family. A home is not a home without family and as I mentioned the ridiculous air fares make it extremely hard to celebrate this special time together.

How do we deal with it ? Thank God for the age of Video calling and Instant Messaging . Also, we spend a lot of time making cards, decor, food and cleaning to avoid the insane sadness in the pit of our stomachs. Denial has it’s advantages for we get a LOT done and create tonnes of memories in the process.

With all it’s trials and tribulations, Diwali still ends up being one of the most blessed and fun times with friends sharing their time with us. The music, the ambiance of the diyas/candles, the yummy food and the companionship of those we care for more than make up for any woes we need to endure.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in the anthology “When You Are Done Expecting “

Making Diwali Special With CultureDabba – Giveaway

This post is a collaboration of Raising World Children and CultureDabba but the opinions are of the author.

The Festival of Lights is coming! It brightens up our lives with love and hope. Diwali is the time to celebrate the essence of family. Festivals, though, are not only a time to splurge, eat and enjoy. They a special time to nurture values.

Values like –

Curiosity – having healthy dialogues about mythological stories of origin of festivals.
Empathy – understanding the root of the many flawed characters in the tales mentioned.
Being inclusive – taking the time to connect with all our friends and family.
Experiencing life with all our senses – food, fireworks, new clothes, gifts.
Spending wisely – choosing to create gifts, decor by hand.
Being yourself – creatively and in expression.
Appreciating talents and art.

and much more.

We can make this Deepavali and any festival a great time for significant connection. And for that one of the outstanding sources I found was the Diwali edition of CultureDabba, a great initiative to make Indian Mythology, Diwali and even India relatable to kids from around the world. How does it do that?

Stories –

The stories behind festivals like Ganesh Chaturthi, Janmashtami, Dussehra, and of course Deepavali or any festival around the world are wondrous examples of teaching kids how there is always good within all that seems bad. Mythology though, is hard to comprehend by young minds. It is paramount we connect these stories to real world examples to make them easier to understand and digest.

They even have stories long forgotten. Stories that talk about moral values that help kids nurture their own qualities. Akbar Birbal, Panchatantra all were wonderful to share again with my children. Tales which I myself had forgotten long ago.

Encouraging Curiosity –

Stories are just a tip of this colorful iceberg! They go onto talk about the festival and how it is celebrated in vibrant detail. Some customs were new to even me and the kids and I had fun discussing the same with each other. I can foresee some new traditions beginning soon.

Crafts –

The magazine has DIY crafts for kids to do on their own. In the issue we got, there is a card that you can make and replicate for your family and friends. They even have coloring pages to encourage kids to do their own thing. Creating something helps kids use their imagination and helps them relate better to any occasion/topic.

Laughter and Riddles –

Aunty Bindi tickles the kids’ brains with fun, unique riddles. My kids had a great time guessing what the answers were. They now ask all their friends the same and share the jokes that are there in the joke section.

Stimulating the Mind With Light Exercises –

Crosswords, mazes, find the differences and more were a pleasant surprise to be included. We truly enjoyed together finding the answers and played along.

Explore A City –

CultureDabba truly brings India to the finger tips by sharing special things to do in a city. The one we have is Delhi and even I was surprised to learn unique features about a city in India I have never visited.

The magazine even has codes that you can go online and use to access more fun for your kids.

CultureDabba Giveaway

It was for these reasons and the colorful presentation that Raising World Children is happy bring to you a special Giveway this Diwali, with not one but three winners !

One lucky winner will get a gift set of three different festivals filled with the above and more and two bonus winners will get copies of the Diwali edition to cherish to empower kids understand the essence and celebration of Diwali l

You do not want to miss out on three chances to win this amazingly fun filled magazine bringing kids closer to Indian culture in ways they are so used to these days. Click here !

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.

How a Modern Me Celebrates Karvachauth

“Are you going to stay hungry all day long? Why would you in this day and age? “

I get this a lot of times, when I inform people that, ” On this festival women choose to fast without food or water for their husband’s long life and consequently their marriage. ” There is skepticism even from Indians who choose not to celebrate.

What is it ?

How this festival is celebrated is the women wake up before the sun rises and has a decent breakfast of five different elements before her fasting day starts. These are traditionally provided by the mother in law. The fast ends with the sighting of the bright moon with the ladies praying to their husbands and the moon wishing for a long life for their husband so they can share their loving bond for a very long time. Women apply henna on their hands the night before or the day of and dress up like brides.

Fasting hard is not mandatory. Many women these days sip on their preferred flavored water or have tea and fruit after the “puja” (prayer) is over. The prayer involves all the women fasting sitting in a circle, listening to the telling of the story of Karva which is how this festival began. The celebration is described in detail here on Wikihow with pictures and the traditions more elaborately explained here.

Mehendi The Night Before

Many women today love an excuse to apply henna to their hands. I for one spent many years (when the kids were young) applying Henna to my hands late in the night, waiting for the design to dry, excitedly looking at my hands in the morning. There is something inherently beautiful about that dark color on your hands. The process of getting the design done possibly gives the ladies a convenient reason to get together and have some laughs, dance and be creative together. Many women even prefer to have it done by a professional. The comradery is fun.

Modern Me Celebrating Karvachauth

I have no real scientific explanation for the celebration of this process. My own husband often times teases me and offers me ways out of fasting. These days many scoff at this custom but the truth is when you do a simple sacrifice like this for the sake of your relationship, dress up traditionally and in a way celebrate your relationship you feel aglow by the love you share with your husband. These days with many women living far from their immediate families, it is a wonderful way to make the extra effort to make your bond stronger, make yourself and your husband feel special.

Many celebrations are more a matter of heart than hard logic or tradition.

For many years, I have celebrated this festival with friends who do not fast themselves but respect the fact that I do so and enjoy the simple feeling of love along with me. We have laughed, enjoyed chasing the moon in our cars (most years it has risen earlier far from home) and relished the joy of sharing a meal together after. Celebrating together even when we do not ideally believe in the same concept brings us all together in a special way. Many a times those same people have delayed their dinners to share the joy of breaking my fast with me. That in itself is greatly appreciated.

What Kids See

On this festival, I hope my kids feel the love when they see Dad feeding mom as she has mehendi on her hands, or mom cooking for the family and being happy all day even though she hasn’t eaten or drank a sip of water all day.

I specially love it, when I get all decked up in the traditional (almost bridal) attire, when my either and often both my kids come up and say, ” Mom you look so pretty. “

When I celebrate this festival, I hope my kids are inspired to learn to make sacrifices for their loved ones. To be happy for others, no matter what they are going through themselves. That they feel joy when they see mom and dad all dressed up and doing something that celebrates their love for each other.

How We Spend The Evening Waiting For the Moon

Now what do you couples do, during the many hours after all your chores are done on Karvachauth and you are dressed up and waiting for the pretty white moon to show up and shine upon you? And won’t you know it, it is Always late during Karvachauth.

Here are a set of games I have come up with to pass the time. Let’s face it. Distracted minds think less about rumbling tummies!

Blindfold Bangles

Bangles are a staple on this special day and go wonderfully with the theme. In this game you blind fold both partners and the husband tries to put on as many bangles on the wife’s hand as possible.

Wedding Ring Mix Up

Everyone takes off their wedding rings and adds them to a bowl. Blindfolded partners try to find their or their partners wedding ring. If they do, they win.

Name The Essentials

This is for the husbands. They have to name all the items that are essential on this festival. Whoever gets all or most of the items right, wins.

Laugh Out Loud

This would be a great game for fasting women as they try to keep a straight face, while their respective husbands try to make them laugh.

For more couples games to make any couples’ evening amazing, download the free book of couples games here.

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, Richmondmomsblog, Desh Videsh Magazine and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.