Tammy Coin

5 Words to Eliminate from your Child’s Vocabulary Forever

How many times have you been told to “watch your language” or scolded a child and said “don’t say THAT word”?

In American society, we often polarize words as being “good” or “bad”. When I have heard these phrases, they are typically speaking of words considered as “curse” words or “foul” language.

In truth, we have words that are considered “good” that are not given a second thought and are actually quite disempowering.

In the process of observing my own words and thoughts, I found several of these “fly under the radar” words that were incredibly harmful to my life and I began to shift them. Celebration!

Once we begin to act as an observer in our lives and the lives of our children, we begin to see how words that are considered “good” words can be extremely detrimental to our growth.

Earlier today, I was out with my little three year old grandson. We were having a great time playing at a local park until…..out of his little mouth came the very first word on my list. Oh no! What was I going to do, how would I handle it. This was a critical moment!

The very first word in my list is CAN’T!

This particular park has playground equipment. In one area, were these posts that were large enough to climb, stand and step to the next. They were similar to stepping stones but off the ground. They led you to the balance beam and then to the slide. Here was this amazing little boy having a fantastic time, when all of a sudden he encountered a challenge a little too big for him. With encouragement from me, I said, “what if you can?”. I held his hand as he carefully took each step and made it all the way to the slide! He said “I can do it, Grammy!” and I said “Of course, you can”!

This word is one that we say quite often to ourselves when something is a little challenging. Our thoughts and words are powerful tools. We can use them to propel us toward greatness or keep us stuck believing we “Can’t” get there. It is important that we use them to move us forward.

Have you figured out other words that you should eliminate from your vocabulary?

If you were looking closely, you saw the second word in my list SHOULD!

This little trouble making word is full of guilt and shame. When you use the word should, start to observe how you feel when you use it. For example, “I should clean the house”. “I should call my mother”. How many times have you or your child been in a situation where you “should” on yourself? One way to re-frame this is to either do the task or do not do the task and simply let it go. Example would look something like this “I cleaned the house”. “I will call my mother” or “I choose not to clean the house right now”. “I choose not to call my mother, today”.

The next word on my list is used as a word to connect sentences. The trouble with this little word is the mind focuses on it and everything said after it and disregards everything said before it. Unfortunately, we often put the good stuff before the word and it is no longer heard.

The number three word on my list is BUT!

Let’s test out a few examples. “You did a great job cleaning your room BUT you didn’t make the bed right”. In this instance, “you didn’t make the bed right” is the only thing heard and retained. Another way to say this might look something like “You did a great job cleaning your room!” If you are looking for a teachable moment on the bed, consider using “Would you like to see a really cool way to make the bed? Let’s try this together!”

Re-framing the way we say words takes a little practice. Once we start to observe our language and how it makes us feel, it becomes much easier to empower our children with these new ways of speaking.

Number four on my list is actually the phrase HAVE TO!

When we speak and say we “have to” do something it has a heaviness to it. It certainly does not sound like anything we want to do. This can feel extremely disempowering and over time add to feelings of dread and depression. When we have a task that we do want to do, we often say “I get to”. As we begin to see everything we do in life as a blessing, instead of a chore, life becomes much more empowering and enjoyable. Think of this example “I have to pay the mortgage payment”. Yuck! Seriously, who would want to do that! When we consider the mortgage payment pays for the home that provides shelter for our family, we recognize it is truly a blessing. We honor it with the re-frame “I get to provide a home and shelter for my family!”. Which one feels better?

The last word on my list is a tricky one. It is used in so many areas of our life. We see it on billboards. It may be heard it places of worship. We freely use the term with others.

Number five on my list is the word HOPE!

This one is a little harder to see and understand. It was not until I really tuned into my body when I said the word, that I recognized how much it made me feel helpless. Consider this example “I hope I get to take a vacation this year” versus “I am taking a vacation this year”. What about something bigger, “I hope I can provide for my family” versus “I know I can provide for my family”. So much of our language that is considered “good” is often quite disempowering. The word Hope gives the impression that we have no control over anything in our lives and feels quite passive. I have found when my faith is at its strongest, I have no need to HOPE because I KNOW that I am open to receive and I am taking inspired action to create the desired results.

At the end of the day, the voice in our head and the words coming out of our mouths, allow us to create an empowering or disempowering reality for ourselves. Children absorb everything at a rapid rate. The thoughts and words that empower or disempower help to shape them for the rest of their lives.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin and The Doors of Wellness at http://www.thedoorsofwellness.com on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/thedoorsofwellness

What to Do When Self Love Eludes You

People talk about Self-Love as if you “should” just understand what it means. When self-love eludes you, it occurs to you that while you understand the concept as it applies to others, you have not taken the time to consider how it applies to you.

Intellectually you have an understanding of what it means. In fact, you could probably teach it to others. Yet, you realize you have forgotten what it means to love yourself. Perhaps, you’ve never known the feeling of self-love inside your own body.

How does this happen?

Many people live in cultures or families that teach us to love others before ourselves. While that’s a beautiful thought, in theory, eventually we find ourselves in situations where we have no choice but to learn how to love ourselves.

As we become adults, we take on roles and identities that often move us away from self. We become someone’s parent, someone’s spouse, someone’s employee, but where did YOU go?

If we have survived traumatic or abusive backgrounds, we may have learned that everyone else was more important than us. We see ourselves as not enough, not valuable or unworthy of love.

HOW DO YOU STOP ELUDING AND START EMBRACING?

Now that you are aware, begin to make small conscious choices to be gentle with yourself. Gentle in how you speak, act and give to yourself. Practice the art of receiving from others. Mindfully give to yourself the love that you so freely give to others.

A Real Plan to Resist Negative Thinking

The world we live in is filled with messages, both positive and negative. Humans tend to absorb more of the negative messages.

Once we have found ourselves in the trap of negative thinking, we may find ourselves increasingly out of balance and out of alignment with the life we aspire to live.

When we find ourselves in this spiral, we often begin to transfer that negativity to everyone around us, including our children.

In order to stop this cycle, it helps to have a plan in place before it starts.

A simple plan might look something like this: Be fully present when speaking to each other (eye contact is important);

Make a point to speak lovingly; Minimize all outside influences (electronics); Upon waking, set three positive intentions for the day ahead; Before bed take the time to list three gratitude moments from the day.

This type of plan is a lesson in Mindfulness.

Simply start by taking an honest inventory of your life and where you can begin to implement subtle, beneficial changes. This is not a judgement inventory of how you “should be” doing better. This is a loving, honest look at your real life and how you can add positive moments.

The best foundation for resisting negative thinking is adding a Mindfulness practice to your daily life. Mindfulness can be incorporated into literally every function of your life from the most mundane tasks all the way to a profound spiritual practice.

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

And there it is! The day that you have been putting off your entire life, has arrived. You have done your best to push it down, put everything and everyone else in front of it but it’s always there.

One day, you’re minding your own business and all of sudden, BAM, the message comes! It may come as a subtle nudge or commanding boom, whatever it is, you know it’s time.

Now, they’ve even made a day of it! That’s right, January 13 was “Make Your Dream Come True” day.

I don’t know when it started. What I do know is now, two people know about it! (hint: You and me!) Congratulations! This is huge. This is the day you begin to change your life! Quick! Go get your calendar and add it. (P.S. Since I don’t know when you are reading this, it doesn’t matter if it is before or after January 13 and it doesn’t matter what year. Pick YOUR date).

There are no more excuses. It’s your time. Oh no! You may wonder. Now what? How do I make my dreams come true?

[bctt tweet=”Before you know it, your dream will call out to you? Are you ready to receive it? Work hard for it ? #motivation #mindset” username=”contactrwc”]

STEP 1 – SIT WITH IT

To begin, find a space where you absolutely will not be disturbed. This space will feel peaceful (can be in your home, in a park, parked in your car, anywhere that feels comfortable and safe).

Close your eyes and just breathe. Allow this moment to be entirely about YOU and YOUR dream.

Ideally, you will allow yourself anywhere from one minute to 20 minutes to sit quietly with your dream. Give yourself as much time as you can in this space (and do it daily, whenever possible).

You’re doing great!

Once your body and mind gets used to the stillness. Bring your attention to your dream and just sit with it.

Listen. Allow yourself to step into your dream.

As you begin to see yourself in your dream. Allow your imagination to bring it to life. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Can you see yourself there? How do you see yourself? What are you wearing? How does your hair look? Who else is there? Begin to create the story in your mind.

STEP 2 – WRITE ABOUT IT

In this step, grab your favorite notebook, journal or keyboard and begin to scribe everything you saw in Step 1. Be as detailed as possible.

Begin to ask yourself more questions. Such as: What is the purpose of my dream? Do I solve problems? Do I inspire? Do I build things? Do I teach? Do I write?

Who do I help? Who will benefit from my dream? You get the idea. Take note of all of these answers.

In Step 1, you began to explore the WHAT of your dream. You are now expanding on the WHAT of your dream and beginning to look at the WHO of your dream.

STEP 3 – CONSIDER

Once you have sat with and imagined your dream in Step 1 and then taken the time to write down the What and the Who in Step 2, comes the time to consider, your WHY?

This one is really deep.

It’s not the surface reason of “I want more money”. “I want more freedom.

It’s the big one.

It is the WHY underneath it all. When you begin to consider the why underneath your dream, you may have several layers of things you “think” are big enough, but they won’t be. Keep going. Think about it. Sit with it. Write it.

Keep writing all the reasons WHY your dream is important to you.

STEP 4 – ARE WE THERE YET?

When you have done the work for Step 1, moved to Step 2, moved to Step 3, you may be asking “Are we there yet?”.

The answer is: It depends.

When you look at that extremely determined beautiful plant that has managed to grow through the concrete, you will know that it had a WHY that was so big NOTHING would stop. It is the WHY that is so big, you keep going when you are ready to quit. Obstacles no longer stand in your way, because you will find a way around them.

It is the why that says I am determined to make the impossible, possible.

Step 5 – HOW ?

The question that really causes people to get stuck is HOW. How will I do it? How do I, etc. The answer is…it doesn’t matter how. The how will change. That is why it is VITAL to get so clear on Step 3 that your life becomes just like the plant in Step 4. You might ask how I know, because I’m doing it now and the only thing that is impossible is the dream that doesn’t have a big enough WHY.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin on Facebook @IntriguingInsights or @TheDoorsofWellness

3 Ways to Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

Being a parent is the MOST. It is the job we have that is the most challenging, the most difficult and the most rewarding and yet, we receive very little training on how to do it effectively, especially when it comes to sexual abuse.

As a Grammy to a 3-year old grandson and the mother of two grown children, I fully understand the complexities of being a parent and what it means for them to feel safe.

Not only am I a Practitioner who works with adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse, I am also a survivor of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. During the 52 year case study of myself and working with clients, I have contemplated, studied and watched the effects of abuse on children as they mature into adults.

Our children are like “case studies” in that we try this and experiment with that and have no real idea of how it will effect our child or the outcome until years later.

The sad truth is we cannot physically protect our children every minute of every day. We also cannot create such fear in them or ourselves that we rob them (and us) of a happy life. So what do we do?

After careful consideration, I believe these three ways are the most effective things you can do to protect your child from sexual abuse.

1. EDUCATE YOURSELF

Educating yourself is a preventative measure for you and your child. This education must be deeper than what you might hear on television. Read books on the subject, attend seminars, watch documentaries, research statistics and scholarly articles. One of the most important pieces of education you can have is to understand that most sexual abuse against children is from someone the child knows and trusts. Educating yourself gives you a basic understanding of how, when and where your child could be at risk.

2. EDUCATE YOUR CHILD

Educating your child starts immediately. The attention span of a child is going to be different at every age and every stage of maturity. Based on the maturity level of the child, will depend on the type and method of education. Teaching a child about their body and appropriate touches helps them become familiar in a non-scary or threatening way. It just becomes part of how you teach them. There are teachable moments every single day. When we begin to teach children about their bodies, intimacy and sexuality, we must also be mindful that they will grow to be adults where sexuality is a natural part of being human. How we teach our children impacts their safety as well as their healthy functioning as they become adults.

3. EMPOWER YOUR CHILD

Children need to know that they have the power to say “NO” when it comes to their body. When they need to talk, it is vital they know you will HEAR them and BELIEVE them. It is imperative they know YOU are not going to become embarrassed or scared of them talking to you.

As a child, it is difficult to know that your parent is uncomfortable with their own body and sexuality. Children need to know that you are a safe space for them and can handle whatever they bring to you.

There are no guarantees that you can protect your child. There are no guarantees that your child will never encounter someone who is harmful. Focusing on what you can do is empowering. Remember to educate yourself. Educate your child. Then, empowering your child so they know what to do in the event they are placed in an uncomfortable situation.

If they are the victim of sexual abuse, it is imperative that they have a loving parent (or other adult) who will help them navigate, process and release the feelings they have about the abuse. Holding these feelings, feeling guilty or shamed about what has happened to them, dis-empowers them and continues to hurt them throughout adulthood.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover your Soul Purpose. You can find her http://thedoorsofwellness.com

When The New Baby Never Came Home

The television commercials and advertisements would have us believe that pregnancy and giving birth is a joyous occasion. No matter the circumstances, pregnancy and giving birth is typically coupled with high stress. At the very least, happy couples might begin to ask questions like “Are we ready?” or “Do we have everything we need?” In other families, the pregnancy was unexpected or unwanted. In others, the mom or the baby is considered high risk.

[bctt tweet=”On October 15th I share my story of losing my baby sister. ” username=”contactrwc”]

It often takes a great deal of pain and hard work before something is deemed important enough to have a special day on the calendar. After many losses, grieving and hard work, October 15 was officially named the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on September 28, 2006. Today, we honor those families whose lives were forever changed when pregnancy turned into grieving, when the new baby never came home.

A Little Girl Prepares

When I was a little girl, I would prepare for many things. By the time I was 5, I had experienced several changes which included loss, trauma, abuse and living in a variety of places with people coming in and out of my life. With a world that was continuously influx, I found myself always preparing for something, on the inside. Life was often scary and unsettling and I was learning survival skills to master my ever changing life. My mom became pregnant when I was 5 and I am not sure that I had many thoughts about that. As I recall, we were living in another state then and I had other things to consider.

My Mom Is “Fat”

On one particular day (maybe my first), I was on my way to Kindergarten. I remember being embarrassed that my mom was “fat” and I didn’t want her to come in with me. Such a strange thing for a shy, soft hearted little girl to feel.
I can’t be sure, but that may have been the day that I began to understand that my mom was “fat” because she was going to have a baby. I remember being sad and upset with myself for thinking my mom was fat and began to get pretty excited about this little baby that was coming. Every time I would see commercials on television with babies, I would get more excited and began to understand that a baby was coming to live with me!

It’s Time !

The excitement was finally here! We were going to have a baby! My mom and dad had taken me to stay with another family that took good care of me and I patiently waited for my mom and the new baby to come home. It was Christmas time in 1970 and a little 5 year old girl was excited for this new Christmas present!

Sometimes, They Just Don’t Talk About It

My dad came to pick me up and there was no baby, my mom wasn’t there either. My little sister was born on Christmas Eve that year. She had problems with her little lungs and she died on that same Christmas Eve. There were no babies for my mom to hold or bring home, in fact they had a sign on her door saying not to bring babies in the room.

To make matters worse, we were a family without money. In order to cover the hospital expenses, my family had to donate my sister’s little body for research. When my mom got home from the hospital, everything that belonged to the baby was gone. It was if the whole pregnancy didn’t exist. In 1970, they didn’t handle things the way they do today. Sometimes, they just don’t talk about it. If you don’t talk about them, then they didn’t happen was kind of the philosophy of the day.

When The New Baby Never Came Home

I’m not exactly sure when I found out what really happened. There was no memorial, funeral or burial. There was nothingness. My 5 year old heart was devastated when the new baby never came home.

Honoring and Remembering

My little sister would be 47 years old this year on Christmas Eve. There is a great deal more to our story, but 24 years after her death we were able to place a marker for her in the Babyland area of the Cemetery. Knowing that there is now a special day to honor those families who have experienced the loss of their babies, brings tears to my eyes.

In order to write this small story about the amazing little baby who never came home, her big sister had to do what she has done so many times before, prepare on the inside. But I do it so that You may find the strength to do so too. And to know, I am here if you need to talk to me about it.

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover your Soul Purpose. You can find her http://thedoorsofwellness.com

Raising World Children Baseball memories

Are The Little League Baseball Memories Worth It?

When he was five, he wanted to give soccer a try. We did that for one season, but that wasn’t his game. He had his eye on the sport that has often been called “The Great American pastime”, Baseball.

The next thing I knew, our life was spent running between the practice fields, the baseball fields and the tournament fields. My life was full of little boys that smelled mostly like wet dogs and dirt! How wonderful! Who knew there would come a time would I would miss that? All along, I did. I just didn’t know how much.

There was something about watching that little guy give his all to every practice and every game that made his mom’s heart soar. From T-Ball to High school baseball, I went to every baseball practice and every baseball game.

“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.” Yogi Berra

Watching my son play ball made life worth living, it made even really rough days, better. It was a time for family. We went locally and sometimes traveled. The weather ranged from hotter than hot to colder than cold and it was always a different temperature on the ball field. We had rain delays and rainouts. Then there were makeups. A makeup meant the day that a game was rescheduled from a previous rainout. That could mean for a really, really long day at the ballpark, oh, but the memories.

PICKING FLOWERS IN THE FIELD

Those little league days were the absolute best. Some of the boys in the outfield picked flowers, some looked at the sky and others seemed to know exactly what was happening. Some might still run in the opposite direction when it was their turn at bat. There is nothing quite like a belly laugh with tears in your eyes as you watch with delight while those little ones learn the rules of the game.

Then there were the out of control parents who…..well, lets just leave them sitting on the bench for now.

Youngsters of Little League can survive under coaching a lot better than over coaching. Willie Mays

As the boys began to grow, their skills improved. They became much more able to control their swings, their throws and their catches. They were becoming young men. The game was beginning to change, there was more concentration, fewer mistakes and the belly laughs often turned to knots of suspense as you watched your favorite young man round the bases.

FAVORITE GIRLS

The next thing I knew, my boy was taller than me. His favorite girls looked a little more like cheerleaders and high school girls and a little less like me. Once in awhile I would catch a glimpse of that nearly grown man, glancing over to see if I was still there and I knew in an instant that he was still happy to know his mom was there.

As I sit here this evening, I think about the days and years that have flown by since I last saw my little boy play baseball.

One day you wake up and they are grown. Tonight, I reminisce about my little boy and the Little League Memories. He’s no longer a little boy, he is now a grown man of 29 and serving his country overseas. I close my eyes and see him in my mind. It is with great pride and great honor to hold that man in my heart.

I know when that little boy that lives inside of him glances over to see, he will still be happy to know his mom is still here rooting for him. Are your kids enjoying a sport they love ?

3 Must-See Destinations in Oklahoma City

Oklahoma City is a wonderful place to have a great vacation with plenty of local eateries, sites to see, history and shopping.

As a native Oklahoman, I have seen many changes to the city over the course of my life. Since I know that everyone has different tastes and likes, I wanted to share some of my favorite “must-see” destinations.

ARTS AND FOOD

Are you interested in the arts? The Arts district in Oklahoma City is called Paseo. This little area gives the feeling that you slipped away from the hustle & bustle of the city and into another time and space. In this area, you will find shopping, dining and history.

On the first Friday of each month, you can enjoy the Paseo art walk. All stores and restaurants remain open during this time and you are able to stroll through this neighborhood hot spot and check out the works of local artists. When I need to get away, I head to the Picasso Cafe. This is a cool little place that has indoor and outdoor seating. They treat food like art here and I love the energy (and the food!) of this favorite little hot spot.

A LIGHTHOUSE ON THE WATER

If you have found yourself in this “land-locked” state and are a water lover like me, you might just enjoy this next favorite spot. The Hefner Grill is located at Lake Hefner. Ask to be seated on the patio. Enjoying the patio on a nice Oklahoma evening or on a beautiful Sunday morning for brunch while looking out at Lake Hefner, gives a spectacular feeling of a full belly and the tranquility of watching the waves of the lake.

If you time it just right, the sunsets are spectacular. While enjoying the view at Hefner lake, you might also see my personal favorite, the Lighthouse. As a Practitioner, I often serve as a lighthouse for people who are navigating a life storm. That Lighthouse is always a reminder to me, that no matter how dark things may seem, look for the light.

OKLAHOMA CITY NATIONAL MEMORIAL AND MUSEUM

My third favorite spot is breathtaking and surreal. The Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum is a must-see in this great state. This particular spot marks a devastating day in Oklahoma history. The memorial is a place for reflecting.

You enter the memorial at 9:01, which is the moment just before the blast and you leave the memorial at 9:03, which is the moment just after the blast. In the middle, you will find the reflecting pool and lighted chairs of the 168 men, women and children we lost that day. This area represents 9:02 and the moment that changed nearly every Oklahoman on April 19, 1995, we lost many friends and family in this bombing. As you spend time at the memorial, you can feel the stillness that honors each and every person we lost that day.

Personally, I lost 3 close friends in this tragedy along with the daughter/granddaughter of dear family friends. I was actually one of the signatures on the petition to add the daycare. The building was where my mom first started her federal career. It is the place she worked when I learned I was pregnant with my first child and gave her the news in that building. Later, my mom and I worked across the street together in the Federal Courthouse. My credit union was in that building and I knew all of those people, too. Several years after the bombing, I had my first date with my later husband at one of their dinners. This event changed my life.

BONUS FOR SPORTS FANS

As a bonus, I wanted to throw in a few other great spots. Consider checking out the local museums, Cattleman’s restaurant (a local favorite!). While I am proud to say that I graduated with two degrees from the University of Oklahoma, I am one of the rare Oklahomans who are not sport fans.

Oklahomans are avid sports fans which can be see all over town as people where the Crimson and Cream colors of the University of Oklahoma or the Orange and Black colors of Oklahoma State University. If you are a basketball fan, come and learn how to THUNDER UP! at a Oklahoma City Thunder Basketball game. I hear it’s a great time!

In conclusion, Oklahoma City is an interesting place to visit. Culturally, we have improved greatly over the past several years. Oklahoma City is a bigger city with a small town feel.

Have you ever visited? What is your favorite place to visit ?

A Teenage Mother’s Journey Through Education

Life changes on a dime. We are often faced with choices that we don’t always like or want to make.

A Young Girl’s Story

Imagine being a young, mostly good looking teenage girl going to high school. She worked hard to be a good girl, make good grades in school and did what she was told. Prior to being of legal age to get a job, she often worked taking care of children. As soon as she was of legal age to get a job, she did. Because of her unsettling life experiences, it was important to her to do things “the right way”. She wanted to create a life different than the one she knew. Her plan was to finish high school, go to college, get a good job, perhaps get married and maybe have children of her own. After all, that would finally give her a peaceful and happy life, she thought.

As was customary in her life, plans changed on a dime. Again! She met a boy and the next thing she knew, she became pregnant before the end of her junior year of high school.

Reflections of a Teenage Mother

Not sure how or what she would do, she chose to keep her baby and do the best she could. She didn’t know how things would work, but she knew finishing high school was a big part of her mission.

[bctt tweet=”Girls like her were not allowed to attend the regular high school, she chose to continue her education regardless.” username=”doorsofwellness”]

“Girls “like her” were not allowed to attend the regular high school.

She chose to enter an off campus program so her education would go uninterrupted. She wanted to finish school as quickly as possible so she could get a better job.

She took a full load of classes during her senior year, so she could graduate mid-term, get a good job and not return to the high school. In December she went through labor and delivery, then went back to school with the baby and finished all her classes in January. When May arrived, she attended the graduation ceremony with her graduating class and her baby. One of her first teachable moments as a mom.

Education Through Choices

As a young mom, she tried her best to take care of her baby, work a full-time job and carry college courses. It just wasn’t working. Something had to go and she had another choice to make. She needed to take care of her baby and she needed her job to help her do that. The only choice she could find was leaving school. After only finishing 12 college hours, she made the choice to quit.

After many more traumas and many more choices, she did her best to teach her child about the importance of education. Several years passed and that little baby had grown into a fine young woman who was ready to attend college. She made the choice to enroll, too. While they didn’t attend the same program or the same classes, they, once again, attend school together.

Education is Life Long Learning

That young high school girl at the beginning of this story is me. The moment I made the choice to quit college, I had a yearning to return to school. I couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard I tried. As I reflect on the importance of education, I am proud of my accomplishments.

I earned my high school diploma at 17, while also giving birth. At 38, I earned a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Studies, while raising children and going through serious life storms. Earning a Master’s degree in Human Relations Counseling, while working in an unrelated field, happened when I was 44. At 51, I earned a diploma as a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, with several certifications during the middle of one of a Spiritual Awakening. At 52, I am happily working with clients as I bridge the gap between Traditional Counseling and Holistic Healing. It has been a life mission to learn everything I can and teach from the stories of my life.

Education – ” When You Know Better, You Do Better “

During every phase of my life, there were obstacles, tragedies, traumas, and more, but you just keep going. One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is “When You Know Better, You Do Better”.

Education comes disguised in many forms. When we start out in life, we are fresh and new with very little insight into what we will value or how our lives will change. We are molded and shaped by our experiences and circumstances. Those same help us determine our belief systems and our paths. In the moment, we can never fully understand how important our decisions will be in the future.

My life may not have turned out “the right way” as I had hoped, but I have lived my life doing my very best “to know better, so I could do better”. Education is not only important to me, it is vital. My purpose on this Earth is to teach others how to heal from the stories of my life.

Above everything else, the fire inside me is to teach my children that no matter what, I will keep learning better and keep doing better.

My Easter Celebration Evolves – The Return of Magic

As a child, my life was incredibly stressful. I looked forward to the Holidays because they brought magic to my life. It was a day that people seemed to be on their best behavior. For a little while, life felt fun and I was easily swept away by the festivities of the day.

As I became a young mother with a life still full of stress, some of the magic felt like it was gone. There were still those moments that created the magic memories. As a mother, I began to witness how those magical holidays were becoming much more about commercialism than about love. This made my heart sad, but this is often the case in our culture.

I frequently asked the family if we could stop buying so much stuff and instead, do something different.

Perhaps, volunteer our time or purchase things that might have a higher meaning, such as naming a star after a child, planting a tree, etc. This was not our culture, this was not our family. I stayed the course and waited for the return of magic.

Over the past few years, I have become a Holistic Practitioner and found myself on a Conscious Spiritual path. During this time, I also became a first-time grandmother. Yesterday, we celebrated Easter and while enjoyable in some ways, I was aware of things I had never fully seen before and it felt so disconnected from the magic, I remember.

Easter This Year

From my vantage point, I saw a family that had been consumed by commercialism. Technology and a fast-paced society that does not stop for love. The day felt like a production for society and yet, society was not there.

[bctt tweet=”I saw Easter being consumed by commercialism. A fast-paced, technology driven society that does not stop for love.” username=”contactrwc”]

It was just us, our family. We had plastic decorations, plenty of processed food on hand, and more sugar than is healthy for any human. Nearly everyone had an electronic device ranging from televisions and cellphones to children’s toys.

During this Easter Holiday, we had all the moving parts, but very little depth. I found myself in a quandary over this holiday. On one hand, I was thrilled to be in the middle of my family and watching my little two-year old grandson and five-year old niece, run as fast as they could to find the hidden Easter eggs. Then squeal with delight when they received candy and prizes for their hard work.

It was the realization that the children were very aware of how much they were receiving and still, it seemed they wanted more. The adults were engaged, when they were not on their phones or watching television and still, it seemed they wanted more.

Throughout the day, I found myself wondering if it had always been this way or was it me who has changed. My way of life is so different from my culture and it regularly creates a dilemma for me. Do I separate from the family I love or do I immerse myself in the cultural norms to be with my family?

An Awakened Perspective

In approaching the situation from an awakened perspective, my answer is neither (and a little of both).

When we reach a Spiritually Conscious awakened state, we may find that others do not understand our path. In this state, we are called upon to be a teacher. As a teacher, we must live a life that is full of love without judgement. We become non-attached to the specifics or the outcome and simply allow ourselves to be fully present. We learn to live our life in a way that invites questions of curiosity about our path. Use those opportunities as teachable moments.

In every family and in every culture, there will be people who do not desire change and are happy with the way things are. Then there are others who yearn for something different. When we speak our truths from an authentic perspective, our family begins to desire a deeper connection with those they love. By finding a neutrality that allows us to stay fully present in any given moment, once again we find the return of magic.

In every situation, we have a choice and there is always a lesson. On this day, I had a choice to participate and I did. I had a choice to voice my opinions and I did not. The lesson was that regardless of all the differences and frustrations of the day, a family came together.

While people were often distracted, they were physically participating as a family. It is my blessing that I have found a new path that feels right for me. I am allowed to continue my path without it being forced upon another.

At the end of the day, the joy on the faces of my grandson and niece as they ran to hunt those hidden eggs and the pure delight when they found them made the day so much fun. As I laughed and ran with them, I saw the world through a child’s eyes and once again the return of magic was found inside the child’s heart that still beats inside of me.