Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

Do you remember the old song written by Johnny Mercer and performed by Bing Crosby?

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

Maybe Mercer had the right idea. Maybe focusing on the positive would help us be more effective parents, better friends, and happier people overall.

There is a parenting method whereby parents praise good behavior (“I love the way you are sharing with your sister”) rather than focusing just on negative behaviors (“Stop being mean to your sister!”). I’m oversimplifying, but the general idea is that kids act badly to get attention. If acting in positive ways gets more attention, they will engage in more positive behaviors and fewer negative behaviors.

[bctt tweet=”Engaging in positive behavior is encouraged by encouragement on positive actions. Here are ways to help them accentuate the positive in their life. ” username=”contactrwc”]

You can find out more about the positive approach to parenting by clicking on this article of Positive Discipline Tips and another one about Reinforcing Positive Behavior at Home.

How I Apply It

Does it work? In my experience, it does, as much as I am able to apply it. When I remember to focus on my kids’ positive behaviors, they do seem to work harder to get my attention by “showing off” good behavior. The biggest challenge is remembering to make a big deal out of the positive behaviors. It’s so much easier to notice the bad ones, especially when I am tired and overwhelmed (and let’s face it, that is most of the time!). One of my goals this year is to proactively encourage the behaviors I want to see rather than reacting to the behaviors that make me crazy.

As I’ve been thinking about this parenting approach, I’ve started to contemplate how it could work in different areas of life. For instance, what if we applied this philosophy to media coverage? What would happen if we only covered stories in which people engaged in positive, life-affirming behavior?

Immediately, I can think of one drawback. Bad behaviors, like sexual harassment, would continue to occur because no one would alert the public to the problem. Those types of issues would remain secret, and victims would be robbed of their powerful voices.

Knowing that it isn’t feasible to only report the good stuff, let me just indulge in a happy news fantasy. If most of the world’s journalism focused on the great things people around the world do for others, would people be even more likely to do great things? Would world leaders fight harder to achieve world peace and end hunger and violence if those were the only actions journalists covered?

Most importantly, would our children benefit from being presented with positive models of behavior they can emulate rather than adults who indulge in base human instincts? Whenever we read the news, we see hatred, violence, and self-indulgence. As parents, we are presented with a huge opportunity—and mandate, even—to seek out content that uplifts, that affirms life, that provides models of positive ways of interacting.

I encourage all of you to try, for at least a week, to focus on the positive. Talk to your kids about news stories involving people acting in amazing, kind, and life-affirming ways.

And let’s talk about gossip: we all do it, and it has been proven to play an important role in society, reforming bullies and encouraging cooperation. Let’s try something different, though. Instead of talking about people in negative ways, let’s “gossip” about all the good things people do, as in, “Have you seen Aditi’s blog, Raising World Children? Isn’t it amazing how hard she works to help foster tolerance and love?”

Try focusing on the good stuff for a week. Then let me know how it goes. How do you feel when you talk about only life-celebrating news? How do your kids respond to hearing more about positive behaviors?

When talking about positive news, Prof. Tal Ben-Shahar says, “Positive information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.” We need good news to thrive. Do you feel happier when you take in more positive information?

To help you accentuate the positive, I leave you with some websites that share only the good news.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-neumann/15-uplifting-sites-focuse_b_1297094.html

http://www.adweek.com/digital/7-positive-news-sites-to-cheer-you-up/

https://www.walkbrightly.com/

Simple ways to teach your kids to highlight the positive aspects of life. An important way is to do it yourself. Here is how !

And here are some lists of children’s books that inspire. They may not all be about good things, but they all celebrate the difference a person can make in the world:

50 Inspiring Children’s Books With a Positive Message

8 Book Recommendations for Happy Kids

6 New Picture Books Enjoy Wonder

  Catherine Brown loves to write happy, life-affirming stories about ordinary people doing amazing things. She also writes about parenting and education to help readers learn from experts how to make their lives just a little bit better. Every day, she strives to be a kind and loving friend, partner, and mom…some days are better than others! You can find her at writehappy.net, on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/writehappy.net/, and on Twitter, @catwritehappy.

Are You Treating Your Girls "Less Than" Boys?

Are You Treating Your Girls “Less Than” Boys?

“Girls are not the same as boys.” I believe in this.

Not in what they can achieve. But in the fact that both have their own strengths. But as far as rights go, as humans every single human has the right to choose and BE as they wish.

Yet, time and again I see people differentiating in what girls “can” and “cannot” do. In Indian culture, there has always been a big difference in the way girls are treated from boys. From serving them, to being protected to what they have to wear to what time they have to be outside, Indian women are often shown that they are less than.

The difference is reducing in today’s times. But once married, the difference still exists colossally within the Indian society.

The #metoo conversation brought forth to my mind how many people talk about the need for better parenting. To teach kids that both boys and girls are equal. Yet, there are so many subtle ways that girls are suppressed or presumptions they have to overcome.

So, I delved into the online space and asked women around the world to talk about a time in their childhood when they experienced feeling less than or having to overcome being put down. 

ONE 

“My parents raised me like a boy for the first 10 years as an only child but when my brother came and as I got older my parents’ worry of me irked me. It was not the same for my brother. Or my cousins. In my teenage years, relatives would pass comments about my marriage way earlier than it needed to be talked about. It was not the same for the boys in the house hold. “

— Find out more about Aditi Wardhan Singh 

TWO

” I would say when girls are just overly protected off the bat. I was never allowed to stay home alone with my brothers. Or I was not allowed to date until I was 16 but my brothers were. It’s a standard of boys aren’t to be trusted so we have to protect our girls more so then the boys…. great post idea. “

— Find out more about Sarah Church Caroll

THREE

My grandfather just passed away and all the grandsons and grandson-in-laws were asked to be pallbearers. Just the first thing that came to my mind living in the 21st century and still having those gender differences. All the granddaughters were not included.

— Find out more about Ashley Peggs

FOUR

When boys would pull my hair or be mean to me when we were all little, I was always told it was just because they liked me. I associated meanness with affection. I grew up spouting off that same stupid, misguided notion to other girls, unfortunately. Whenever a boyfriend treated me bad, I always had this thought, “well, he loves me so it’s okay.”
Or when I witnessed my dad disrespecting women and putting them down, I was told by my grandma that he did it out of love. The lesson of “it doesn’t matter how guys treat you as long as they love you” was very pervasive in my childhood.

— Find out more about Lisa Keifer

FOUR

When I asked my dad to teach me how to fix cars, he said no because I was a girl. I pushed and he gave in and was stunned to see I had a natural talent for it. Then I ended up in architecture school which at that time was 10% women. I had a teacher tell me that women didn’t belong in architecture because I had asked a question he deemed stupid. I didn’t want to be an architect after that. I became a graphic designer and ended up in the printing industry where I was sexually harassed all the time. I’m good at math, engineering, computers, fixing things… And I have been told over and over that I have strange talents for a girl.

I have two boys and they are being raised to see everyone as equal. Since I don’t get the chance to raise a confident girl, I can at least raise boys who see them as equals.

— Find out more about Bonnie Landau Weed

FIVE

When I was growing up, it was expected for my sister and I to help in the kitchen with dinner and clean up. My younger brother did not have the same expectation. This expectation still happens now. Last week we were on a family vacation and my mom was putting a roast in the crock pot for dinner. She was trying to decide when to start it. My brother was going to be back at the campground before we got back. I suggested to ask him to turn it on when he got back. My mom actually said, “he just finished a half-Marathon and that’s too much to ask of him.”. My response was “For him to turn a switch?”. This is not an uncommon theme in our family. I intend to raise my son to have the same expectation as any other family member.

— Find out more about Jennifer Crisp

SIX

I was good at math until I was in high school. I was in high track math 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. But then I slowly started thinking I wasn’t good at math because I kept hearing girls aren’t good at math. So when the counselor was helping me pick classes for my freshman year, he basically said “let’s bump you down to average track math” even though I got a high B in 8th grade. And I learned that I wasn’t good at math even though looking back I think I actually was. So I told myself that I wasn’t good at math because other people basically told me that I wasn’t because I’m a girl. And I don’t think I learned as much in high school math because I didn’t try very hard. I had the mindset of “this isn’t my thing. I shouldn’t even try.”

Find out more about Nikki Howlett

SEVEN 

I think it’s more I’ve noticed how lucky I was to have strong female figures and a father who taught me everything. I also read a lot of book with strong females. Here’s my recent post I wrote.

— Find out more about Shari Dawson Shearer

EIGHT

I hate the comment of throwing or running “like a girl”

Nancy Elyse

NINE

I don’t have a post about this, but it drove me insane. Last year my little sister’s high school softball team went all the way to the state championship (YAY!), and they asked to go up to the field two days early so they could get acclimated and practice one day. You know, get in the right mind set. Anyways, their athletic director said nope, sorry, not in the budget. So they showed up the night before, didn’t have time to work out the jitters, and had to play the next day. They lost. I’m not saying they would’ve won with that extra day, but as an ex-athlete I know how nerves can impact your game. It helps to see the field you’ll be playing on and just calm down from all the excitement (our town held a little parade as they left). It sucked, sure, but I didn’t think anything of it.

Flash forward to the football team’s REGULAR SEASON and they had a game in Texas. They were there for three days. It was basically an all-expenses paid vacation for these boys. And they brought the cheerleaders. They got their asses kicked.

I was so annoyed by this. Let’s just go ahead and tell our daughters that it doesn’t matter how hard you work; you can be the VERY BEST and go to the championship game, but you’ll still never be worth as much as our football players. Have fun in life!

— Find out more about JoshlandLindsay Aspinwall

TEN

My husband’s grandma told me when I was pregnant with my daughter that it would be better to have a boy because girls are only good for cleaning. Granted, she’s 93 and has dementia…but it still hurt.

— Find out more about Caitlin Downs

ELEVEN

I was told I could not do percussion in band because it was for boys. I did the flute, but ended up dropping out. 

— Find out more about Samantha A Brooks 

TWELVE

When my parents went to buy me a used car, the guy selling it told them it was a standard/stick shift and that because I was a girl they should go home and talk to me and make sure I could drive it. My mom was so offended but came home anyway to ask me and we agreed my dad could teach me. To this day I still remember every guy friend who rode in my car in college being floored at how good of a stick shift driver I was 😬

— Find out more about Cammeno Messana Murray

THIRTEEN

When I was in my second last year of high school, I had the goal of going to university to study science. My physics teacher told me in front of the boys in my physics class that girls don’t do science so I would never get anywhere in the science field. I set out to prove him wrong. I went to university and studied science. I then got a job with one of the major science organisations in Australia and was ran hands on science sessions for primary and secondary school students. My crowning moment was going to his high school and running a specialized science session for his class!

— Find out more about Jennie Petrey 

FOURTEEN

I was always told about everything that I did that wasn’t “lady like” and how if I wasn’t “lady like” than no boys will want me and it was just sort of instilled into my psyche that I needed to focus on having a man, like I couldn’t possibly live without one. It made me so codependent as a teen/young adult.

— Find out more about Brigid-Ryan Milenkovski

FIFTEEN

Never in the family, but people around us (esp. neighbors and relatives) would always be concerned about our parents not having a son.. as we r three sisters,many people would say it to our faces, how our parents are being foolish not thinking of their old age etc etc.. I’m sure being an Indian you know how hung up Indians are on having sons.

We would often question our parents if there is something wrong about girls and my dad always said “it’s the way people feel ,not us and what others think is not our problem, so ignore!

— Find out more about Shalini Tyagi

SIXTEEN

Beautiful. For sure! I have a twin brother. So many times in my life I felt less than him for no reason. At work he would start after, be a good worker but have his own imperfections like meor…worse and yet, be promoted. As for treatment, I could come up with some memories.

But hey, being a twin is awesome.

— Find out more about Jewel Elise

The Subtle Parenting Difference Between Girls and Boys | Parenting | Women Empowerment | Think about it

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

 

How To Make A DIY Pop-up Valentines Day Card

How To Make A DIY Pop-up Valentines Day Card

Gifting cards is a lovely gesture mostly everyone does. But instead of rushing to the Hallmark wouldn’t be more personal if you can send them a handmade greeting card? Here is a simple pop up valentines card for you and your kids to try out for this Valentine’s day.

DETAILED VIDEO TUTORIAL AVAILABLE

Materials Required:

1.Cardstock Paper
2.Color paper
3.Washi Tape
4.Scissors
5.Glue Stick
6.Marker
7.Foam sticker
8.Pencil


DIY Pop-up Card for Valentine's Day | How To Make An Easy Valentines Card for Kids | Raising World Children | Passionate Moms

 

Method to Make A Pop Up Valentines Card:

 

1. Let’s cut the heart out of a paper. It’s the template we going to use for the greeting card.
Fold a piece of paper in half. Draw a half-heart shape along the folded edge of the paper and cut the heart out.
2. With the help of the template trace the half heart along the folded edge of the cardstock paper.
3.Carefully cut through the heart trace leaving a 1cm in both sides uncut. To make sure the heart can still be in the cardstock paper but able to fold it as a pop-up.
4. Now using the same template make a heart from the glittering foam sticker. Peel it and paste over the pop-up heart.
5. Take another piece of the cardstock with the same size of the pop-up card and paste it together using a glue stick.
6. With the similar method cut few small hearts out of a black color paper.
7. Fold hearts in half and paste one over the other in the card as shown in the video.
8.Using a washi tape cut a small piece and paste it over the hearts. You can use strings instead of washi tape.
9. Again paste a different washi tape, over the corner of the card.
10. Now you can label the card with whatever wording you like using the marker.

We would love to hear from you.

Make this and show it off ! Email it to us at contact@localhost or upload it on social media and tag us. @passionatemoms,@raisingworldchildren. We featured the best ones on OUR platform for the world to see !

Comment below and tell us what else you want us to try out next! Make sure to leave a lovely thank you to the creator. 

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

And there it is!  The day that you have been putting off your entire life, has arrived.  You have done your best to push it down, put everything and everyone else in front of it but it’s always there.

One day, you’re minding your own business and all of sudden, BAM, the message comes!  It may come as a subtle nudge or commanding boom, whatever it is, you know it’s time.

Live Your Dream

Now, they’ve even made a day of it!  That’s right, January 13 was “Make Your Dream Come True” day.

I don’t know when it started.  What I do know is now, two people know about it!  (hint:  You and me!)  Congratulations!  This is huge.  This is the day you begin to change your life!  Quick!  Go get your calendar and add it.  (P.S. Since I don’t know when you are reading this, it doesn’t matter if it is before or after January 13 and it doesn’t matter what year.  Pick YOUR date).

There are no more excuses.  It’s your time.  Oh no!  You may wonder.  Now what?  How do I make my dreams come true?

[bctt tweet=”Before you know it, your dream will call out to you? Are you ready to receive it? Work hard for it ? #motivation #mindset” username=”contactrwc”]

STEP 1 – SIT WITH IT

To begin, find a space where you absolutely will not be disturbed. This space will feel peaceful (can be in your home, in a park, parked in your car, anywhere that feels comfortable and safe).

Close your eyes and just breathe.  Allow this moment to be entirely about YOU and YOUR dream. 

Ideally, you will allow yourself anywhere from one minute to 20 minutes to sit quietly with your dream.  Give yourself as much time as you can in this space (and do it daily, whenever possible).  

You’re doing great!

Once your body and mind gets used to the stillness.  Bring your attention to your dream and just sit with it.

Listen. Allow yourself to step into your dream.

As you begin to see yourself in your dream.  Allow your imagination to bring it to life.  What does it look like? What does it feel like?  Can you see yourself there?  How do you see yourself?  What are you wearing?  How does your hair look?  Who else is there?  Begin to create the story in your mind.

STEP 2 – WRITE ABOUT IT  

In this step, grab your favorite notebook, journal or keyboard and begin to scribe everything you saw in Step 1.  Be as detailed as possible. 

Begin to ask yourself more questions.  Such as: What is the purpose of my dream?  Do I solve problems?  Do I inspire?  Do I build things?  Do I teach?  Do I write? 

Who do I help?  Who will benefit from my dream?  You get the idea.  Take note of all of these answers. 

In Step 1, you began to explore the WHAT of your dream.  You are now expanding on the WHAT of your dream and beginning to look at the WHO of your dream.

STEP 3 – CONSIDER

Once you have sat with and imagined your dream in Step 1 and then taken the time to write down the What and the Who in Step 2, comes the time to consider, your WHY?

This one is really deep.

It’s not the surface reason of “I want more money”.  “I want more freedom.

It’s the big one.

It is the WHY underneath it all.  When you begin to consider the why underneath your dream, you may have several layers of things you “think” are big enough, but they won’t be.  Keep going.  Think about it.  Sit with it.  Write it.

Keep writing all the reasons WHY your dream is important to you.

STEP 4 – ARE WE THERE YET?

When you have done the work for Step 1, moved to Step 2, moved to Step 3, you may be asking “Are we there yet?”.

The answer is:  It depends.

When you look at that extremely determined beautiful plant that has managed to grow through the concrete, you will know that it had a WHY that was so big NOTHING would stop.  It is the WHY that is so big, you keep going when you are ready to quit.  Obstacles no longer stand in your way, because you will find a way around them.

It is the why that says I am determined to make the impossible, possible.

Step 5 – HOW ?

The question that really causes people to get stuck is HOW.  How will I do it?  How do I, etc.  The answer is…it doesn’t matter how.  The how will change.  That is why it is VITAL to get so clear on Step 3 that your life becomes just like the plant in Step 4.  You might ask how I know, because I’m doing it now and the only thing that is impossible is the dream that doesn’t have a big enough WHY.

How To Achieve Your Dreams | Family Goals | Take Time To Create Your Own Happiness | Empower Kids

Tammy Coin is a Mind-Body Wellness Practitioner, Transformational Life & Spiritual Coach, Author, Teacher and Speaker. She holds sacred space & helps you locate the unhealed emotions leftover from Childhood Abuse & Trauma that block the door to your authentic self. She then partners with you, using the pieces of her own life, to empower, motivate and inspire you to fully uncover and step into your Soul Purpose. You can find Tammy Coin on Facebook @IntriguingInsights or @TheDoorsofWellness

 

Kid's Creative Writing

Encouraging Kid’s Self-Expression Through Creative Writing

Do you know kids develop self- awareness through self-expression? Self-expression is the expression of one’s personality, feelings, or opinions.

Kids who are being self-expressive can be an observer of their own life and who they are being.  Creative writing is one of the effective artistic activities that make children self-expressive. It has a magical quality of clarifying thoughts and feelings. Encouraging kids to express their thoughts through writing is an excellent skill to teach.

Why Creative Writing Is Vital To Encourage :

Kids love hearing stories and let’s take advantage of this fact and help them make their own. By doing so,

  • You teach them to think outside the box.
  •  Kids learn to widen their imagination.
  • They learn to THINK through writing which can be very useful in bringing clarity to their thoughts.
  • You teach them to deal their emotions such as fear and anxiety in a more therapeutic way “Writing”.
  • Kids get skilled in their language but in a fun way.
[bctt tweet=”Are you using these easy tricks to encourage your child’s self expression through creative writing ? #parentingtips” username=”contactrwc”]

 



Listed below are some of the key points on how to teach creative writing to children.

The Desire To Write Grows with Reading:

  • Start by reading books together. Creating a reading habit is crucial before you wish to start teaching your kids to write. After finishing up a story talk a little bit about each story. Take some time to discuss the author who wrote the story. If there is information about the author on the outer cover of the book, you might read it together.  Doing this, helps your kid understand that the story you read was created by a person.  Kids have to understand that author is the one that decided on the characters, beginning, end and the flow of the story.
  • While reading you could ask your kid to predict what’s going to happen next and why she thinks so. This way children could understand how stories work and how a single imagination could change the whole story.
  • Encourage your kid to talk about the story you read. Ask him whether he liked the way the story ended? Or did he expected a different ending?

Find Or Create Inspirations To Write:

  • Pick any one of your kid’s favorite book and ask him to write a story similar to the story line of the book you chose. For instance, if the book was about a kid’s zoo trip ask your kid to write about his own zoo trip with a beginning, middle and ending part that sounds like a story. Help him with the process to make it more fun.
  • Writing prompts are one of the effective ways to widen your kid’s imagination. You can give some funny prompts or story starters and then your kid could write about what might happen next. For instance, “One day I woke up and discovered the tree in the backyard could talk”.
  • Instead of prompts you can give three unrelated words and encourage your kid to cook up a story involving all three words. For example, T.V, Robot, Spider. The story might sound funnier than you expected.

Respect The Little Author’s Work and Appreciate It:

  • When your kid feels confident enough creating his own stories encourage him to write a whole new story but this time without any prompts. Remember this is a story written by a kid, so try not to quibble. You both talk about the story and the characters he created. Ask him why the story has to be ended in this way? Talk with your kid as he is the author of the book and not your child. Give him a chance to read the story aloud and make some changes to it. Create the final version of your kid’s story.
  • If your kid loves painting or drawing help him creating the illustrations for his story. Or you could find an illustrator for your kid’s storybook.  Help your kid give a title to his story.
  • As an extra encouragement tip, you could print your kid’s story with the illustrations, title,  cover page, and author name added. Gift your kid with his own storybook and place it on the bookshelf and read it along with his other storybooks. This not only excites your kid but also reinforces your kid’s creative writing habit.

To raise a kid who can live his life to the fullest, make the choices that honor his wants and desires, they need to be taught to self-express. Motivating kids to explore the world of creative writing make them thrive and blossom to their full potential.

How To Teach Kids Self Expression Through Creative Writing | Raising World Children | Teaching Kids Creative Wriing

Do you have any other interesting tips on how to get children’s creative thoughts flowing? Share with me in the comment section below.
Suja Dinesh | Raising World Children | Parenting | Cultural SensitivitySindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.
The Story of Ellis Island & The People That Arrived

The Story of Ellis Island & The People That Arrived

Did you know Ellis Island officially opened as an immigration station on January 1, 1892? Seventeen-year-old Annie Moore, from County Cork, Ireland was the first immigrant to be processed at the new federal immigration depot.

The Statue of Enlightening the World

Most of us have heard of New York’s Ellis Island and it’s immigration depot. When mentioning Island, it often brings to mind the Statue of Liberty, which many believe both to be located on the same island. But in fact, they are not. The statue welcomed millions of immigrants entering New York Harbor on their way to Ellis Island.

Ellis Island was previously called Gull Island. This was before Samuel Ellis purchased the island in the 1770’s. Samuel had a good sized tavern built on the island, which was used by many Manhattan residents in its day. But “Ellis Island” is also the name given to the immigration depot located on the island, which first opened on January 1, 1892.

STORY OF ELLIS ISLAND

Questions Answered Here. 

After I discovered the above information, I was curious to know more. Like what the island was used for between the time Mr. Ellis ran his tavern, when America became a nation in 1776 and when Ellis Island, the immigration depot began in 1892… I had questions like:

1. Where did all if the immigrants to America enter as they came through the New York Harbor between during that century?
2. Why was the immigration depot built on an island in the first place?
3. Were there records of the people who entered America before the immigration depot opened.
4. If so, what happened to them?

So, I set out to do more research and was able to answer those questions, as well as several others that I didn’t even know I had. Although the research was vague between 1776 and 1811, it picked back up just prior to the War of 1812.

Preparing for War

With tensions rising between America and Great Britain due to America’s departure from Great Britain’s rule in 1776, an armament known as the Southwest Battery was built on Ellis Island in 1808 in lower southwest Manhattan. This became known as Fort Clinton. The fort was one of four built within close proximity to each other used to protect New York Harbor.

What happened to Fort Clinton?

Getting back to Ellis Island and Fort Clinton. In 1823, following the war, the fort was deeded to New York City. It was turned into an opera house and theater called Castle Garden for the next 31 years. Castle Garden was a hot spot for cultural entertainment, showcasing not only entertainment venues but also the newest inventions, such as Samuel Morse and his telegraph and steam powered fire engines.

Within a year after Castle Garden Opera House closed its doors, Castle Garden started being used as an immigration station. Here, clerks were hired to process and log every person entering American shores through the New York Harbor from various countries. This was America’s first immigration depot. Prior to this, passengers exited the ships directly onto the shores of Manhattan, often bringing with them many different diseases.

Many of the ill passengers had already been struck by disease before they even boarded ships in their native country, although many also contracted diseases during their nearly twelve day voyage across the ocean.

Somewhere between 8 and 12 million people came through Castle Garden until it closed 1890 when the federal government took over the task of immigration, which happened in part because of the corruption among clerks who were designated to process voyagers at this time.

Corruption such as blatant use of a federal act of 1882 forbidding entry of “lunatics, idiots, criminals and public charges” (prostitutes and other unwelcome professions) by making their own personal judgement calls. Typically, they did this in hopes of be offered bribes to look the other way.

Building Ellis Island Depot

While the first federal immigration depot began being built on Ellis Island, designed by Edward Tilton and William Boring, a temporary depot was located on a barge just off shore of Castle Garden. In 1891, the barge welcomed just over 400,000 passengers.

Ellis Island was no where near large enough to accommodate the new depot, so it was necessary to increase the size of the island. This was done by unloading the ballasts of ships (stones in the lowest level of ships used for balance) and using the dirt and debris from the building of elevated railways in the in New York City.

On January 1, 1892, when the island finally opened, it is said that a young girl, Annie Moore 17 years old, was the first to be processed through the new wooden immigration depot built upon the island. She came on a ship from Cork County, Ireland with her two younger brothers to join their parents who were already in America.

Eventually, Annie married Joseph Schayer, of German decent, a salesman at Manhattan’s Fulton Fish Market. Together they had at least ten children. Annie died in 1924, although my research wasn’t clear as to the cause. Many accounts relay it being a horrible streetcar accident, while others report she died of a heart attack.

Rebuilding the Immigration Depot

It was on June 15, 1897, that a fire on Ellis Island broke out. It destroyed the wooden structure taking the majority of the 1.5 million immigration records of not only those of the island itself, but also the records which were being stored from the Castle Garden days. As a new fireproof structure began being built, the barge depot once again welcomed new passengers. By December of that same year, the new fireproof building reopened and Vice President Theodore Roosevelt appointed the first immigration commissioner, William Williams to manage the depot.

Commissioner Williams fired the vast majority of the depot’s employees in 1902, eliminating widespread corruption and abuse. He began offering awards based on merit and announced any suspected dishonesty were grounds for dismissal. Signs featuring Williams new rules of kindness and consideration were posted as reminders all around the depot.

This new generation of immigrants saw many of Jewish faith, who left their home country due to political and economic unrest, as well as people of Italian decent escaping poverty. Ellis Island welcomed many Polish, Hungarians, and Greeks to name a few, also many non-Europeans from locations such as Serbia, Turkey and Armenia.

Story Of Ellis Island and The People That Arrived | History of Ellis Island | Raising World Children

Why People Came

After learning all of this, I was interested in finding out about specific stories of some people who took a chance to voyage across the Atlantic Ocean. I discovered families like Barnet Chadekel, who chose to travel under his wife, Chann’s maiden name of Mirelowitz because in their native land they were perceived to be wealthy because he owned a glass working shop. In the country they left behind, they were considered to be wealthy and were persecuted for this. Often put to death.

As another aside: For a little over ten years in the early 2000s, I taught a life journaling class to hundreds of senior citizens all over the metro Detroit area. Every person in every class had an interesting story to tell, but many had traced their family histories all the way back to Ellis Island and beyond. What they discovered during their research was that there were many family members who, when they told immigration clerks their name, the clerk wrongly spelled their name the way they heard it so their name turned out to be something different from what it really was. Some clerks shortened their name. And some immigrants, like Iparhos Perdikis (who you’ll read about here) chose to give the clerk at their departure from their home country, a completely different name. I learned so much while working with everyone during these years, about immigration and their personal lives I was also able life lessons, which I still use today.

The Many Reasons Why People Came

The reasons people made the long expensive journey to America vary widely. Some escaped war in their home country, as well as drought, hunger, and persecution for their religious beliefs. People came hoping for jobs, some were only in the States long enough to earn enough money to support their family when they returned to their homeland and some came hoping to get land to farm. But everyone came in hopes for a better opportunity.

Passengers waited in long lines on the island following their nearly two week voyage, some of them waited only to be detained for weeks… or worse, deported because they didn’t pass the interviews with immigration inspectors, who claimed they were too sick or deemed as illiterate. During various different periods, immigrants from certain countries were banned entirely. But this didn’t stop people from coming in search of their dreams.

Nearly 12 million people were welcomed by the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor during Ellis Island depot’s 62 year history. Though due to a multitude of immigration acts in the U.S., immigration to the island dramatically decreased by 1924. Ellis Island immigration depot finally closed its doors in November of 1954.

Meet Giuseppe D’Amico

Giuseppe D’Amico was an electrician by trade. His family was already in America, but upon arriving, he found that in Manhattan, his profession had already seen unionization, which left him unable to find work. Fortunately, a family member, skilled as a seamstress, taught him her trade. Guiseppi went from learning the basic skills of dressmaking and through the years, worked his way to becoming a highly skilled dressmaker, managing a shop, then creating his own business designing beautiful gowns for the women of his day.

Tong Ly Jue Journeyed from China

Tong Ly Jue, a herbalist by trade, immigrated from China. He and his wife, Jeang Quai, settled in San Francisco’s Chinatown. With him, he brought many Chinese herbs and medicines and was able to come to the aid of people afflicted with many different diseases. Tong Ly is said to be among one of the first herbalists welcomed to America.

The Perdikis Family

Lastly, let’s meet Iparhos Perdikis. In 1921, the 16 year old traveled with his parents who settled in New York City. Iparhos chose to completely change his name to Harold Perrin, as many others often did, when he came to America. He studied hard in school before finding his calling and consuming himself in music and dance. Later, he performed on vaudeville stages and in nightclubs all across America.

When reflecting back to his arrival through New York Harbor and looking up at the lights of the New York city, Harold recalls, “From that beautiful city, I got my dreams.”

Over all, from the time Ellis Island opened until 1954 when it closed, more than 12 million people were welcomed into the United States. Today, the island is a National Park and hosts a museum in the main building. Restoration is being done, with the help of donations, to the Ellis Island hospital building. While visiting, you can go on guided tours of both the Ellis Island immigration depot island and our Lady Liberty. You also have the opportunity to take a guided cruise through New York Harbor and much more.

Janie Saylor | Raising World Children | Parenting | Cultures | Diversity | Cultural SensitivityJanie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 21, and her daughter, age 25. In 2006, Janie published the book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in various communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
How Kids Today Perceive India

How Kids Today Perceive India

What do kids outside of India really think about the country ? Do expat kids have any connection with their parents’ homeland?

Being a mom of two younger kids who haven’t yet visited India often, these are few of the questions I wonder a lot about. Having been raised in Kuwait, as an Indian I am no stranger to cultural life being confusing in many ways. Interestingly enough, my confusions were solved in my late 20s and totally resolved once I became a mother.

Which is why it is an everlasting curiosity within me to see what kids around me (all in pretty much the same boat I was in) , feel about being raised Indian and being American citizens. Other expats in our Facebook Group for Parents Raising Global Thought Leaders can relate. 

[bctt tweet=”An essay competition for Republic Day of India provides an inside look into the way kids today perceive India.” username=”contactrwc”]

So when the opportunity to judge a kids’ writing competition came my way, I was elated beyond words to get a peak into growing minds.

As I read the several pieces that were submitted to the Republic Day of India competition I was thoroughly impressed. The topic being ” Memories of India “, was fascinating the depth of kids’ emotions regarding the same. What I learned was interesting to say the least.

How Kids Today Perceive India | Essay Writing | How to Expat Indians Feel About India | Republic Day of India | 26th January

They See India Differently

One entry was a beautiful piece about one evening’s experience with applying henna at a fair and seeing their father dancing at wedding. I could feel myself walking right beside her in that moment. Another had expressed their first train experience and even though you could tell that it was cumbersome for the little 7 year old, it was more than enjoyable as well.

You could feel that the experience during their visits mean so much more to them and uniquely so. To see the vibrancy in India through the eyes of young kids is very different. Often they compare the two countries they live in and visit and their perspective was 

Fascinating New Perspectives 

One child wrote so beautifully that he wondered where all the ants were constantly coming from in the house. His answer? ” So many ants were probably there because the food is so delicious. ” He continued to write about the summer he spent imagining the many reasons those ants would be roaming around the house.

It went to speak on how minutely a child thinks about what they experience. 

They Experience Culture Vividly 

Mundan ceremony of little ones or weddings of their siblings or cousins were described in such intricate detail. They found the celebrations a wonderful opportunity to rejoice life. Being an adult, I found many new customs within their experience that I even am new to.

As a parent, I have often worried that new cultural ceremonies (owning to size of crowds) might be overwhelming for my kids but reading those stories made me realize it is me not them that needs to brave the situation. For every custom is a spiritual experience for them. 

Children Feel Close To Family, Despite Distances 

It is a fear of many parents that the kids are distant from their family or relatives. Those essays assured me, while they may be far physically the kids are emotionally very well connected to those relatives who have taken the pains to develop the connection.

Being cared for, taken on bike rides, long walks or being taught yoga are all cherished memories.

There is an essential misconception among adults that being away from family makes kids aloof. But through those words I could sense that love surpasses all boundaries. So if there is any space felt, it is certainly a lack of adults  to not develop a better connection.

Certainly not the child’s. All a child needs is to be loved. 

Many Kids Feel Like Outsiders Already 

And yet are excited to connect!

This stood out the most to me. A lot of the 12 and older kids mentioned in passing that doing so and so made them feel like “less of an outsider ” or helped them ” understand ” something (implying they feel the need to). Or how some one here in USA commented on something that is uniquely ” Indian ” about them affects their perception on visiting India.

To me this was interesting as  I have often wondered how early is it today that kids get this feeling. As an Indian born and raised in Kuwait, it was only in my early 20s when I introspected my feelings enough to understand that I wasn’t as Indian as other kids.

What was hilarious was one 7 year old’s expression that the ” last trip to India helped them get in touch with the inner Indian which has been lost for many years “. ( parenting coaching at it’s best ) .

The experience was such a wonderfully inspiring one that I wanted to pen down tricks for other kids who would ever participate in essay writing.  These are not by any means every judge’s criteria but per writing guidelines these are great rules of thumb to live by when writing creative and effective essays for any occasion.

To submit your child’s creative writing/arts, go ahead and email us at contact@localhost and we will feature them on our platform. Children, after all can use ALL the encouragement they can get.

To write and to contemplate the many ways they connect to their homeland. 

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”

Are You in a Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage ?

Are You in a Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage ?

When we meet new people, without realizing we tend to categorize them. Coast person vs mid-west person, Tea drinker vs Coffee drinker, Dog person vs. Cat person, Trump person vs. sane person and so on. Oh yes, we all do it, don’t deny it. We are a judgmental bunch!

The next time you are getting to know someone look carefully into the person’s eyes as you make introductions. The moment you mention your particular affiliation there will be a look of relief in his/her eyes as he/she slots you successfully into a bucket. He/She will find similarities, differences and paint you in carefully marinated opinions and then place you ceremoniously in a category. Once that is done he/she can open up or build a wall, befriend you or end the conversation. There is no escaping this. We all do it. It is an essential ritual, a norm of social interaction.

Boxing Applies To Marital Status As Well

arranged or love marriage

Some of the most confusing and amusing slotting has been when people inquire about my marital status. No, its not ‘Married’ or ‘Single’. This one is more about the ‘how’ of it. It is the ‘Love’ or ‘Arranged’? For some background, I am a South Indian origin by birth, Mumbai bred girl by upbringing married to a North Indian boy from a city in modern day Uttarakhand.

When people hear this or decipher it from our different last names, there is a hush and lull. Then a look of either awe or disappointment flood their eyes depending on the categories that I myself have assigned to them by now.

Love marriages in the context of middle class life in Mumbai that I grew up in entails a certain formula – Usually it means girl meets boy and they fall in love in miraculous seconds. Then there is societal and parental opposition. After that follows the fight, the drama, the eloping and a grand finale of a ‘happily ever after’ marriage.

‘Arranged marriage’ on the other hand is a meticulously planned event by harried parents, mysterious well wishers and the entire Aunty-dom. It goes like this. Aunty sees ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’ at wedding or other event where one decorates oneself. Aunty asks for boy/girls horoscope. Aunty matches horoscopes, sometimes creatively. Aunty brings proposal. Girl and Boy agree docilely. ‘Happily ever after’ ending of marriage follows.

My Story Defies The Assumption

When people ask me Love or Arranged, I can almost hear the plunk as they throw me the ‘Love’ category. But my marriage had none of the drama that comes in the conventional love marriage. I met my husband in my thirties. We took much more than seconds to get to know each other and then decide to get married. Parental and societal objection had reached a fatigue point by then having been futilely active for 10 plus years. There was no eloping. A mutually agreed upon ceremony occurred. It all resulted in a marriage that was more like a continuation of an imperfect but enjoyable life than the, if I may call it, unrealistic ‘happily ever after’ illusion.

So, no I don’t feel comfortable with the categorization of the  ‘Love marriage’ bucket. But I guess I didn’t have much from the Aunty-dom either to call it ‘Arranged’.

So where then do I belong? Which bucket is mine? There’s got to be a Goldilocks solution to this too – somewhere in between. Afterall, there is always much more room in the middle. For marriage categorizations and our new political situation too. How about something novel, something bipartisan? There’s place for so many more in the middle.

We can all be happy here the Midwesterner with coastal risque, the coastal with Midwestern values, the non-caffeine drinker, the dog/cat neutral person, and the, maybe, ‘finally recovered former Trump supporter’?  As far as marital statuses go, I henceforth propose a new category for people like me.

How about calling it the ‘Self-arranged with love’ category? Which box do you fall in ? 

Are you in a love marriage or arranged marriage ? | Raising world children | life lessons | happiness | truth | marriage

 Sandhya Acharya Raising World Children Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love. 

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA 

 

     

What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

What it Feels Like to Have Bilingual kids

There was no question we were going to do it.

My husband had to teach his kids native tongue. It’s a part of him and he needed to pass it on. I dreamed of hearing my kids say English words in cute ways like pweaze. So, we’ve been teaching our kids two languages from day one.

And it’s working.

My six-year-old son can be a miniature translator now and my two-year-old uses both languages in one sentence. Amazing. Adorable.

But sometimes it can be challenging.

Around Friends

I finally had some mom time with a friend over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was wonderful. We ate lots of homemade food, drank, played board games and watched our toddlers play with each other. It was everything I hoped for.

But I realized something interesting while I watched the toddlers play and talk. My friend’s son would speak, and I was amazed at the words he used. He sounded so adult.

The child is intelligent and not just because I’m a biased Godmother.  His mother spends so much quality time with him, reading every night. She is a wonderful teacher.

But it made me question whether my daughter’s speech was delayed. But I realized I am simply not used to hearing a child talk who only speaks one language

Which made me wonder how other people view my children’s’ speech.

Interactions

People don’t always understand my daughter and it was the same with my son. I adore and am used to the way her sentences mix Ukrainian and English together, but it is difficult for my English-speaking family. It must sound like gibberish.

Talking to a two-year-old is hard enough with only one language’s worth of vocabulary.

And then there are the people my kids’ meet for the first time who simply think my daughter must be delayed in speech, just like I did for a moment. People now say my son speaks so well as if he didn’t before. What they don’t think about is that maybe the just didn’t use to understand him.

And all this can give parents mixed feelings.

What it feels like raising bilingual kids | how to Raise bilingual kids | tips to raising kids with two languages - bilingual | parenting | family goals

Feelings

I know we’re not supposed to care what people think, but it’s different when it comes to our kids. We know they are the most fantastic creatures the world has seen, and we want others to know it too.

And when they’re bilingual sometimes their brilliance doesn’t immediately shine.

Then with family, you may feel upset when you see your child cannot effectively communicate with grandma or their uncle. You see both party’s frustration and it can result in you giving up on teaching one of the languages.

But don’t stop. It gets easier.

My six-year-old son now speaks with a slight American accent to his father and me in Ukrainian or English. At separate sentences. He’s fluent.  Finally.

And watching my husband’s eyes light up brings tears to my eyes. That alone was worth it.

So, don’t stop. Keep teaching your child two languages.

Tips to Successful Bilingual Children

  1.    Stick to Your Language

If your child is having a difficult time learning one language over the other, pretend you only understand the language you want them to learn. Be stubborn. My mother-in-law only speaks Ukrainian. While she was here my son had no choice but to speak Ukrainian to her. So, he did. You can mimic the same.

  1.    Warn Others

If it bothers you when strangers don’t understand your child, let the person know right away that your child is speaking two languages at once. They may be amazed.

For family, you can be around to translate for your child. Let Grandma or Uncle know that the word your child just said was in the other language. With your child try to teach your family member some words. Make it fun.

  1.    Read

Read books in both languages. If you are not bilingual, take turns reading. Story structure helps embed the words into your child mind. It improves their vocabulary and it is fun for the child and you.

  1.    Benefits

If you’re unsure if what you are doing is right for your family, learn the benefits. (Read here https://bilingualkidsrock.com/why-raise-bilingual/  ) A few things a child will gain is better grammar in their first language, better at music, a greater understanding of culture, and will have an easier time learning other languages.

  1.    Don’t Give Up

There may be a point when your child decides to ignore a language and only speak one. It happened for a while with my son. It hurts, especially the parent whose language is being ignored. But it does get better over time. It’s just a bump in the road that you need to learn to go around and much like marriage you must stay with it, for better or worse.

It can be challenging raising a bilingual child. Your feelings can go all over the place, but in the end, it is worth it for you and your child. Your child will benefit from your efforts for the rest of their lives.

And what feels better than that?

Jewel Eliese is a fiction writer, developmental editor, co-creator of the Medium publication Writer Mom and founder of writeawaymommy.com. Jewel runs on lukewarm coffee and baby kisses. She believes every mom can write well. Get the free checklist to find time to write with kids around here writeawaymommy.com/checklist/
Please Stop Telling Me What To Say To My Kids

Please Stop Telling Me What To Say To My Kids

There are so many articles “(Insert Number Here) Things Not To Say To Your Kids“ doing the rounds that tell you how to talk to your children. And I find it amusing to say the least.

I have a hard enough time keeping track of all the things to do in my day and everything the family needs. Telling me to reword myself in every parenting situation is an unrealistic goal.
We are all human. And the best part of being human is having emotions. Check out any robot movie! Being emotional makes us vulnerable to our surroundings.

So guess what?

When my child has to be told for the 10th time to wear his shoes as we are getting late for a class I am paying 30+ dollars for or my toddler keeps using the words ” Oh my Gosh. Look at her butt! “(from the movie Sing) in spite of being told not to over and over again, I will scold them. When my son is rude to me, I will give him a time out. When my daughter lies down on the floor screaming about candy after we have been out all day doing chores, I will come home and vent to my husband, passionately (and loudly).

Mind you, in no way am I condoning being sarcastic or humiliating you child. I am talking about those times that people say the right thing in a misplaced tone or words that slip out in exasperation! Yells that arise from spilled milk after you getting ready for guests or screams of caution when your child is doing something dangerous.

Forgive yourself those.

 How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me


I was reading Martin Luther King Jr’s biography last week and was surprised that his father, a pastor no less whipped him mercilessly when he made mistakes. Yet more than the whipping MLK feared disappointing his father. He never lost sight of the fact that even though the consequences were severe, his father loved him and only meant to guide him.

And he turned into an inspiration for everyone around him.

When I was a child, I feared my mother’s eyes. When acting out, I could sense her across the room holding me in that particular stare that said, “I know what you did and you are going to get an earful when we go home!” Those eyes kept me grounded. I don’t remember the yelling. I was always secure knowing my mother loved me enough to pay give importance to all I do. However, I will always remember the important life lessons that came with.

Of course, I don’t condone whipping you child but why do we think times have changed so much that kids will get traumatized, forget how much they are loved if merely scolded or said the wrong thing to ?

A World Of Nice Parents 

 

Imagine a world where everyone was always nice to their kids. Where you were mild mannered whether your child was right or wrong. Where you clapped for them even when they failed. Where you were always smiling and hugging them. That would lead to a world where children would not have the capability of processing negative emotions.

They wouldn’t have a sense of achievement. They would never have learned how to handle failure. When someone disagreed with them, they would be at a loss as to the right way to respond. In a world of bullies born of weaknesses, they need to understand that sometimes people act out when they are actually hurting inside.

The pressure of being “right” all the time will eventually get to you. Notice when your child is behaving badly in public and you have tried everything positive that isn’t working. The child needs a time out or telling to but you need to go to the car/home first. Think about how suffocated you feel during that time. How upset! Now imagine if you went months feeling like that. Eventually all those emotions will catch up and you will definitely implode! Is that what you want to instill in your child?

My mother often told me a famous Indian story of a thief who grew up with a mother who pampered and praised him no matter what. When he finally got arrested, his mom went to visit him. He called her close to him and bit her ear off saying, “ You are my mother. It was your job to twist my ear and tell me when I was doing wrong. “

It is not a parent’s job to be nice to their children. It is to love them. It is to guide them. To be mature human beings ready to lead the next generation.

 

How Martin Luther King Jr. Biography Affected Me and My Parenting | Family goals | Life Lessons

Being Human in Parenting

Today the culture is so self serving and peer affected. It is our responsibility to ensure children learn to differentiate right from wrong. To do the right thing when it needs doing. To do chores. To study hard. To be kind, gentle, responsible people who know how to respect every thing and being.

I have yet to meet a person who does something without prompting. And after multiple prompts it is natural to end up irritated. By using different strategies, I try to find the one way that will convince them of what needs doing. Every day is a constant battle with children. From brushing you teeth to the second they close their eyes, there is sly tact, persistent prompts, exasperated yelling involved. On rare occasions the method/wording is uncalled for. And I apologize. But that too teaches my children that reacting wrongly is natural. It is acceptable to make mistakes as long as you are willing to course correct.

Kids should know there are consequences to their actions. That it is okay to vent. They should understand that just because someone yells or says something that they don’t like doesn’t mean that person hates them. Often the person is just tired of not being heard. Youngsters today need to know how to process emotions. Words are only as important as the intention behind them.

[bctt tweet=”A parent’s job is not to be nice to their child. It is to guide them. Martin Luther King Jr. Biography made me introspect on what my job as a parent really is. ” username=”contactrwc”]

I will give you, the “what not to say” lists thoughtfully made are useful in making us ponder about how words can be perceived. In sensitive situations that is a must! Words can hurt, yes! But we need to remember that the intention behind sentences uttered is more important that the words themselves. We need to focus on our history with the person uttering them. We need to remember people make mistakes.

Acknowledge that and process it. Discuss it with the person in question if it truly matters. Then move on.

If we all start focusing on what is said to us and ignore actions that truly speak their own language, we will lose sight of the good in humanity.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones  are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”
Are You Ruining Your Child's Friendships With Negativity

Are You Ruining Your Child’s Friendships With Negativity

I came across my high school yearbook the other day and couldn’t help pouring through the pages and reading the words friends from my past wrote to me. Majority of friends wrote things like, “Let’s keep in touch,” and, “Friends forever,” and “I’ll never forget…,” which was followed by a litany of memories that today, I have absolutely no memory of.

Heck! Many of the people I was hard pressed to remember them at all!

Why do we become friends with some and not with others? Why do some friendships stand the test of time yet most do not?

Friendship Theories

As I refer back to my college psychology classes, John Bowlby, a researcher from the mid 20th century would say it all goes back to how we “attached” to our main caregivers (our parents) during infancy. His attachment theory stated it was a survival mechanism. Bowlby’s thinking was how we attach to our parents during the first few years of life determines how all of our relationships throughout life will be.

And failure to properly attach was detrimental, with consequences like delinquency, reduced intelligence, anger, and an inability to show affection toward others.

As we moved into the present century, more in-depth research and study has been done. While there’s something to be said for the importance of infant-parent attachment, in that the relationship with the parent can be affected by how we attach within those first few years, having that “vital” period doesn’t play near as big of role on the outcome of our future relationships with others.

During the time Bowlby’s theory was becoming a thing, there was Jane Elliot. Ever heard of her? Neither had I (until I learned about her in a college psychology class), but what she was able to accomplish in the way of making friends and losing judgment, is nothing short of amazing.

How to Ensure Your Child Has Lasting Friendships | Friends | Kids | Removing negativity from kids' lives

The Story of Jane Elliot 

Jane Elliot, a third grade teacher from a small town in Iowa, in my mind, made history with her teaching and all of us would do very well to learn more about her work.

It was a spring morning in April, 1968, which could have gone on like other normal day as Mrs. Elliot’s students came to class. But this wasn’t just any April morning. It happened to be the morning after Martin Luther King was assassinated. With much thought and trepidation, Jane chose to completely toss the days lessons aside. As a matter of fact, she tossed the next several days of lesson plans aside. Little did she know her students of an all white community would learn a lesson they’d remember for the rest of their lives and it completely altered the direction Jane Elliot would take throughout the rest of her life.

Overnight, Jane had devised a plan to teach her students about race, about diversity and about judgement, about friendship, as well as self esteem. Sounds pretty amazing, right? Her experiment was eventually dubbed “Brown Eyes, Blue Eyes.”

Immediately, when the first school bell rang out, Jane was separating her class in two. On one side of the room were the brown eyed students and on the other were the blue. She had neckwear, collars for one side of the room to wear for the next several days. She told her class that from that point forward, everyone with blue eyes were bad people. They weren’t to be trusted. The brown eyed and blue eyed students weren’t allowed to play together or even communicate with each other. She even went so far as to tell the brown eyed students that the blue eyed children were inferior and stupid and to really hit it home, the blue eyed students weren’t allowed to drink from the same water fountain. Sound familiar?

Mrs. Elliot played this to the hilt. When she was doing small group lessons with a mixture of brown and blue eyed students, she went so far as to tell the blue eyed students they were wrong, even if they were right. After several days passed, the rolls were reversed and suddenly the brown eyed children were the inferior ones. Eventually, all of the classroom had “played” both rolls.

The experiment has a whole lot more to it than this, but what the children came out of it learning was they were all very quick to jump on the bandwagon and belittle the “inferior” students. The inferior students grade average plummeted during this time frame.

But one thing is for sure, this experiment was a big example of how negativity can be detrimental to social relationships.

diversity in friendships

Help Your Kids Create Lasting Relationships

How can we, as parents, teach our children about judgement, racism and self esteem? It turns out one of the most important roles we play is to be good role models. The old saying, “children are like sponges,” is actually truer than we might think.

As it turns out, young children actually do have more neurons making connections in their brains than they will have when they start becoming teens. As it turns out, children really do learn much more by our actions than by our words.

Teaching our little ones to be a good friend and how to talk to others starts with us. For example, we want our children to be open and honest with us, but in order for that to happen, we need to practice what we preach, walk the walk, talk the talk, so to speak. It’s important for us to create an environment where we’re able to share how we’re feeling and our experiences (within reason and age appropriate) with our kids.

It turns out, one of the most important aspects in making friends is being able to make ourselves just a little bit vulnerable, to share some of our self with someone else. Perhaps we have a different opinion than the one our friend just shared with us… Do we tell them we feel the same way so they won’t think bad of us? Or do we take that chance and voice our differences and risk them not liking us because of it?

Even as adults, the same thing still applies. It’s those people who listen to our differences and like us anyway who we become closest to. That skill of “listening” is also one of the most important aspects of creating lasting friendships. Many people don’t actually know how to “listen.” They know how to “hear.” What’s the difference, you may ask? Well, listening actually takes conscious practice (In my life coach training, many weeks were devoted to the art of listening).

You see, most people hear what they’re friends are saying trying to find a spot in the conversation to interject our own comments. At the very point where something our friend is saying sparks a comment we want to interject and we hold onto that thought until we can find a break in the conversation… We’ve actually stopped listening. Listening is about being present in each moment as we listen and speak to others.

Lastly, from my experiences, I’d have to say the next most important aspect of being a friend is curiosity. So this is how it works… We have to put ourselves “out there.” Take a chance. Be vulnerable. And listen for your friend as they share their vulnerabilities with you. The act of “listening” allows us to remember our friend’s vulnerabilities and curiosity helps us to ask our friend in future conversations about how the vulnerable experience is progressing in their life.

Unfortunately, throughout life, friendships come and friendships go. Sometimes they go due to a change of location, a change in job, a broken confidentiality. Just like any good relationship, friendship takes time, empathy, curiosity and responsiveness.

And if you’re very lucky, you’ll have a small handful of very close friends who stand the test of time.

So, are you going the extra mile to create lasting relationships for your child ?

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, BecomeUniversity. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
7 Life Lessons Acts of Service Inspire - Martin Luther King Jr. Day

7 Life Lessons Acts of Service Inspire – Martin Luther King Jr. Day

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, we have an opportunity to celebrate and honor the many ways that this great American leader stood for peace and justice for all. His work was focused on community, on togetherness, and on brotherhood and sisterhood.

Martin Luther King Jr.

About Martin Luther King Jr.

The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was an essential leader in the American Civil Rights Movement from the mid-1950s until his assassination in 1968. As a social activist and prominent Baptist minister, King played a vital role in countless civil rights events including the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the 1963 March on Washington.

In 1983, the legislation was signed by the United States government to designate a federal holiday on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday– January 15– meaning that non-essential federal government offices are closed, every federal employee is paid for the holiday, and public schools are out of session. Later, in 1994, Congress named this holiday a national day of service. MLK Jr. Day is observed on the third Monday of January each year, near King’s birthday.

Because the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a leader and advocate for freedom and righteousness for all, we can live out his vision by engaging in acts of service. For it is in believing in the potential of our American family and actively building community, that we can grow together in love.

As a former co-leader of two community service clubs in Austin-area high schools, I am deeply invested in the power of service learning. I have witnessed, first-hand, the ways that young people are inspired by even simple and small acts of service– from cleaning up local parks to running game booths at a neighborhood elementary school to canvassing neighborhoods for canned foods.

In my work as a coach for teens and parents, I often share the idea of finding union and connection through community-based volunteering. As each individual becomes empowered and takes actions, such as volunteering, an openness to working together develops. Additionally, because humans are hard-wired to seek rewards, especially during the teenage years, “doing good” can fill teenagers’ desire to connect, contribute, and be accepted.

I invite you and your family to serve in your community this MLK Jr. Day (January 15, 2018) and beyond. Here are 7 Life Lessons We Learn Through Acts of Service:

  1. We have agency in our lives and in our communities. We can (and are responsible for) taking actions to contribute to our families, our communities, and our world. When we actively work towards connected, loving, and healthy communities feels good and helps us understand our role in each of these spheres. As we serve, we can recognize and solidify our identity, our values, and our interests and passions.
  1. Working together can warm the heart. As cliche as this sounds, it’s the truth. When we serve collectively, work together, and find synergy we elevate our own energies and the energies of those around us. Connecting with new friends, neighbors, or community members to accomplish a similar goal or through the act of service itself can be uplifting. Community-service presents us with opportunities to grow in empathy; we can begin to more clearly see ourselves in others, relate to others, and sense our connectedness.
  1. We can create deep joy by being present. Being in the moment, with those people and spaces in front of us can bring great happiness and even healing. Service means setting an intention to be with others or in action that requires attention, compassion, and love. It is nearly impossible to love without presence, so through service, we can practice mindfulness.

  1. Building kinship gives us a sense of purpose and helps us understand our gifts. Moreover, it helps us love and appreciate the gifts of others. When we intentionally participate in community and spend time with others, we are invited to exchange gifts with one another. This reciprocal exchange allows us to relate to one another, to give and receive support, and to deepen our sense of WHY we show up each day. 

 

5. We need to be in community regularly. Humans are not meant to live a completely solitary life; we thrive      in tribes or communities and have socially-wired brains. We can realize, through acts of service, the ways        we feel supported and nourished by others. We can learn from one another, laugh together, create                  together, and build community together. This brings us right back to all of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s                visions      of justice, equality, and solidarity.

  1. We are more similar than different. When we sit parallel or work side by side, we learn rather quickly that we have more in common with one another than not. Our connecting helps us internalize the message that we are all one, that we are all equal. Through acts of service we acknowledge our own humanity and the humanity of others; nothing is as humbling and inspiring as seeing yourself in another.
  1. We are happier and mentally healthier when we contribute to our community- near and far. Neuroscience shows that altruistic, heartfelt community service activities elicit feelings of satisfaction and reward. In other words, when we “do good,” we feel satisfied, and when we feel satisfied, we experience a rush of pleasure hormones similar to those released by eating sugar or earning money.

What other life lessons have you learned through service and volunteerism?

Join me in making the pledge to spend this MLK Jr. Day doing service in your local community! You can also search for and register your MLK Jr. Day event. Finally, I reccomend spending time researching events and ways to serve with your children and family. If you’d like support in this process and in developing service learning conversations in your home, e-mail me.

7 Acts of Service We Learn From Acts of Service on Martin Luther King Jr Day | RaisingWorldChildren.com |

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyharrisedconnect/ and https://courtneylynnharris.wixsite.com/mysite

 

 

Martin Luther King Day for Kids on Multicultural Kid Blogs

Welcome to our fourth annual blog hop on Martin Luther King Day for Kids! Find great ideas for commemorating MLK Day with kids and don’t miss our series from last year as well as 2016 and 2015!

Participating Blogs

Crafty Moms Share on Multicultural Kid Blogs –
Martin Luther King: The Peaceful Warrior Book Review

Creative World of Varya: Teaching Justice to Children
Raising World Children:
7 Life Lessons Acts of Service Inspire

Jeddah Mom: Mr. Lincoln’s Way –
Children’s Book About Accepting Differences

7 Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance

7 Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance

My 7 year old son wants to be an inventor when he grows up. For now, his aim to is create lavish Lego creations based on dinosaurs, Minecraft, Avengers and more. He gets ideas and doesn’t stop till he has completed his creation. And he often gets overwhelmed!

goal setting for kids

He gets it from me. I too am like a steam roller when I get an idea into my head and I just cannot stop till I am done with the many, many items on my list. Only in the past year have I discovered the power of goal setting and the many challenges that they encounter and believe that it is an essential trait for kids to learn at a young age.

Not only does it prevent overwhelm, it is of great importance to learn what goals to focus on and how to keep them instead of having to give up.

Why would kids need goals ? To apply effectively to

  • Grades
  • Hobbies or interests
  • Exercise
  • TV viewing
  • Free time
  • Savings
  • Sports
  • Education
  • Behavior
  • Chores
  • and much much more.

7 Easy Steps To Teach Kids Goal Setting & Perseverance | Family | Kids | Planning Tools | Free Templates | Teach Kids How To Set Goals | Free Template

 

Setting Goals 

It is often that overwhelm comes in the form of overzealous goal setting. The most important step to learning how to be a person of perseverance is to attain the fine balance to awareness, priority, work and time.

1. HAVE SPECIFIC GOALS

“Little goals are the best way to get kids moving toward big goals,” says Jim Wiltens, a leadership-training instructor in the San Francisco-area schools. “Meeting a goal gives kids an incredible surge of energy.” It is important to teach kids that not every goal is worth attaining even. Listen to what the kids want and steer them gently towards what is something that they can actually work towards. Make sure to take baby steps. 

Reading a page a day, picking up toys in a room or in our case creating one creation in a set amount of time is a good enough goal to begin with.

You know your child best. Crafting a vision board or making a list of their dream goals and picking the ones that are specific to them are essential.

2. KEEP THE RIGHT TOOLS

You will need to make a goal kit for your kids. This could be a calendar, timer, a marker and a log of some sort to maintain the goal/s they set for themselves. Download the ones below and ensure they go through it at a time every day.

Journal writing is a great way to stay on top as well .

3. PLAN THE WORK IT TAKES

Every goal takes a different amount of time and energy. It is important to ensure the kids think through the steps it takes to achiever the goal.

Teach them to break the goal down into smaller actions and work on how much time each action takes.

4. FOCUS ON THE TIME 

Something that many kids lack is an awareness of time. Make sure you mark the calendar or teach them how to set a timer for everything they need to achieve. This is a great way to educate them about time awareness, taking breaks and moderation.

Keeping To Goals 

This is the trickiest part and something all of us struggle with.

5. HOW TO PRIORITIZE

This is something that is totally essential to creating goal oriented, self driven kids. It is important for kids to learn how to put their goals above other things. The number one lesson they need to learn is that the only way to tick that goal off their day is to put it first and put in the work.

Set a time for your goal and then tick it off!

A neat trick is to  tie it into something that the kids love depending on the goal. So, if the goal is something they love doing, they could forgo their favorite treat or activity for that day. And if the goal is something they don’t like doing so much, they could get an extra treat or something they rarely get to do within the time period they are trying to achieve their goal.

6. DEAL WITH SELF DOUBT

A big part of goal setting that many kids do not know how to deal with is the self doubt that comes with when they fail to succeed on the way. It is important to encourage them to push a little harder some days and equally important to let them know when it is okay to forgive yourself or let go. 

7. CELEBRATE SUCCESS 

And most important of all is to ensure to celebrate any and all successes big and small. A special treat that you have thought of before hand itself is specially great. Preferably an experience vs something materialistic.

Let Them Fail

This will possibly be the most important thing to teaching kids to reach their goals. As parents we hate to see them fail but nothing teaching a child the important aspect of staying on top of Their goals than failing to meet a deadline and suffering the consequences. Better early than late. Taking ownership is a big part of teaching kids to be responsible .

Download the complete free Goal Tracking Template.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”