When Is It Safe To Get Your Child Contact Lenses

When Is It Safe To Get Your Child Contact Lenses

by with 7 Comments ContemporaryParentingVoices

When is it safe to get your child contact lenses ?

Contacts offer several benefits to those who have vision challenges. The first benefit is enhanced appearance. If you don’t like the feel and look of eyeglasses, contact lenses provide the freedom of less weight on your face while providing visual assistance. However, there are precautions that must be followed to maintain eye health especially if you’re considering purchasing contact lenses for your teen.

The best time to allow your teen to begin wearing contact lenses is when you’ve educated your teen about these contact lens care steps, and when he or she has demonstrated the ability to follow these steps on a regular basis.

contact lenses

Promote Hygiene

Contact lenses must be handled with the highest level of hypoallergenic care. This is due to the increased chances of the eye being infected by germs. Before inserting a contact lens into the eye, your teen must wash his or her hands thoroughly before opening the secured lens package. Hand washing is also imperative when removing contact lenses. Placing a clean piece of tissue under the contact lens case will also prevent germs from being transmitted from a counter’s surface.

Opt For Daily Lenses

If you purchase daily contact lenses, you will decrease the chances of eye infection because these type of lenses must be thrown away at the end of the day. Daily lenses don’t require the same level of cleaning as regular contact lenses. The lenses are already stored in the proper amount of solution. Regular contact lenses require rubbing the lenses with disinfectant solution and rinsing with saline solution prior to insertion and storage. If the lenses are not cleaned or rinsed thoroughly, the risk of having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the solution will be increased.

Avoid Extended Wear

If your teen’s eye doctor does not recommend extended wear contact lenses, it’s important to emphasize the removal of contact lenses prior to going to bed. This will prevent the contact lenses from getting stuck on the eyeball or moving away from the iris. It can be difficult to remove lenses from the eye when natural moisture has been lost because of prolonged eye closure. The eye fluid that accumulates while sleeping can cause dryness as well. As a result, contamination will be the consequence that will lead to infection. Removing the lenses prior to sleeping allows the eye to rest. Visit an eye care professional, like Discover Vision Centers, to see your options when it comes to contact lenses and what would work best for you.

Contact lenses should not be treated like eyeglasses. Laying lens cases on unclean counters or storing cases in unprotected bags can allow lenses to become vulnerable to germs. Educating your teen about his or her eye health should not be taken lightly. The more precautionary steps that are taken to reduce eye infection, the more preserved your teen’s vision will be when he or she gets older.

Emma Sturgis is a freelance writer currently living in Boston, MA. She writes most often on education and business. To see more from Emma, say hi on Twitter @EmmaSturgis2
Don't Let Your Shame Hold You Hostage

Don’t Let Your Shame Hold You Hostage

by with 13 Comments EmpowermentVoices

In October, Rebecca Vijay wrote an article for Raising World Children about her tragic experience of losing one of her twin children. I want to send a giant thank you to Rebecca, for bringing awareness to, not only her own awful experience, but for all of you moms out there who’ve lost children, either within the womb or after they were born.

She expressed her grief in such a beautiful way. I loved learning about the word Vilomah, which Rebecca explains is the Sanskrit word meaning “a mother who has lost her child.”

Rebecca’s work helped me to want to express my own experiences with this. I have lost children. Several times. Many miscarriages when I was 30 and trying to get pregnant. But the very first time is the story I’m interested in telling you today.

WARNING: TRIGGER ALERT!!!

My Story 

It started when I was 12 and an older boy, 16, from another school showed great interest in me. At the time, of course, I was far far too young to date. (My parents didn’t know I was.) And far too young to be making grown up decisions… Looking back, (I actually realized this a long time ago. I’m presently 55 years old) this experience with this boy dramatically shaped my entire life and the choices I’ve made.

I don’t remember at what point in the “relationship” he began having sex with me. I say it in this way because he raped me from the very beginning. Looking back, I think about why a 16 year old boy would be interested in a 12 year old girl. And there is absolutely no reason that he should!

But his multiple sexual assaults resulted in a pregnancy when I was 13, just about to turn 14.

After 

First of all, I knew I, somehow, had to tell my parents. But there was absolutely no way I wanted to disappoint them. I can remember being extremely  ashamed in myself. And scared. And sad! Above all, trapped. I was afraid to tell them both. But mostly, I was afraid to tell my Dad. The thought of disappointing my Dad was, back then and throughout my life, something that was very upsetting to me.

After a couple of day, which seemed like a life time to me, I’d decided I was going to tell my Mother first.

I vaguely remember the night.

Dad was working late and both my older siblings were out as well. I cried, as I had been since the moment I felt I was pregnant. I asked my Mother if we could to talk. I was laying on the couch and she came forward and sat beside me. I don’t remember the words I chose, but I do remember her holding me so tight, telling me she loved me and that she would tell my Dad.

This was just the first step of many I was about to face.

For a several weeks, I was determined to have the child. Mom drove me to the doctor quite often as he requested seeing me weekly. Both my parents were supportive of my decision. But one of my last trips to the doctor, when I was just over 2 months along, the doctor sat with Mom and me and explained that he didn’t believe I’d be able to even carry a child to term.

At 13, I had a very small body and frame. He said there was a strong possibility that either I or the baby would die in the process of carrying and birthing. I’ll never forget that day, the ride home and my Mom’s words.

She said, “Up until now, this only affected you and the baby that is inside you. But now, this affects me and the baby that was inside me. You can hate me, scream at me, you can feel how ever you choose to feel about me. But the decision has now been made and when we get home, I’ll be calling the hospital. You’re going to have an abortion.“

And oh boy, did I cry!!!

This was in the early 1970s, shortly after the Roe vs Wade decision (January 23, 1973, a woman’s right to have a legal abortion according to the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States), which enabled me to have “the procedure.”

I don’t recall the time frame, between that trip home from the doctor and when “the procedure” was performed. And I only vaguely recollect the trip to the hospital, the preparation or being taken into the operating room.

What I do remember, quite vividly, is waking up to seeing my Dad at my bedside with such a look of love for me. I don’t recall his words. I don’t know if he told me the words, “I love you.” Actually, I don’t think he said anything at all.

But what he did do was hand me a small glass bowl, shaped like a bowl someone would put a goldfish in, but much smaller. Inside the delicate bowl was a partially opened bud of a baby pink teacup rose. No words were necessary. This was all I needed for me to get the message of his love for me. That we’d make it through this. And I cried with relief!

The Judgement

I’d taken a leave from school prior to this day and for several days following. I thought that since the boy was from another school, which was 30 miles away, that my secret was safe among just my family. The school I attended was small. Perhaps only 600 people all together, from the sixth grade through the seniors. I never even told my very best friend.

But, Somehow, when I returned to school, everyone  knew.

I heard the whispers. I saw their faces. I understood their body language. Judgement. Judgement. Judgement.

I’m not sure how long it took for the whispers to stop, but I remember one particular girl who took it upon herself to badger me with her religious values, expressing to me how horrible of a person I was for what I’d done.

Oh not about the unprotected sex so much, but for having an abortion. I’d find notes shoved in my locker. Notes with graphic pictures of what an abortion does to an unborn baby. She’d pass notes to me in the classroom. If I left my textbooks unprotected for any amount of time on my desk, I’d return to another piece of paper shunning me.

I didn’t know what to do to stop them from coming. Day after day !

I remember though the day they stopped. My older sister, came into my classroom and stood up to this bully for me. Unfortunately, it got to the point that my sister had to resort to threatening to cause her bodily harm if the badgering toward me didn’t come to an immediate halt. And that day, they did!

The Aftermath

But what it left was an indelible mark inside me, compounding my own shame toward myself, which I’d felt from the very beginning. My own disappointment in myself. My own guilt. And sadness.

I mentioned in the beginning of this article that these experiences ended up shaping my entire future. Up until today, that is. The boys (and when I grew up, the men) I chose to have in my life were also men who wouldn’t treat me right. Men who said they loved me but their actions were anything but.

Unknowing of what was going on exactly inside me, inside my unconsciousness, inside my body. The nightmares and flashbacks became prevalent. The increasing high startle reflex seemed normal. Many years later when I had children and as they grew, they learned early on not to jump out from hiding to scare me.

I would start crying. I didn’t know why. I just lived with it.

There were so many things within myself that I didn’t even give a thought to thinking they weren’t normal. I never told anyone about the nightmares or flashbacks. I didn’t tell anyone about my fears from certain people for no apparent reason. There was a hidden room, somewhere up in the far reaches of my brain. Tucked away in a box, in the way back dark corners of the attic of my unconscious, so dark and so sealed, not even I knew it was there.

The Epiphany

Cut to three years ago. I was sitting on the back porch of my aunts house with my cousin, (who just so happens to be a social worker) talking and drinking lemonade . I don’t know how the conversation started on the subject, but she was telling me about a close friend of hers who was having great difficulty in her marriage with a manipulative and an abusive husband.

She spoke for five or ten minutes and relayed her friend’s terrible predicament, when suddenly some words simply tumbled out of my mouth. I didn’t say much, just a portion of a sentence. But it was enough that my cousin was able to imply the rest. I remember I quickly covered my mouth with my hand and stopped breathing for a few seconds.

My words came as an immediate surprise to her… and even more so, to me. Her face quickly turned me and she said, “Oh my God, Jane. Did that really happen to you?” With my hand still over my mouth, I nodded. She replied, “Oh Honey. Was it more than that?” I nodded again and she said, “You need to promise me the very second you get home, you’re going to call and get yourself into therapy! See a good psychiatrist. You probably have PTSD!”

I have no idea why I those brief few words tumbled from my lips that day. I had NEVER told anyone. Even though I’m very educated and very logical, from the teeny tiny bit that I did recollect from my past, I’d justified away as just being normal. In my mind, I was doing everything necessary to make those relationships work. That day on the porch with my cousin, that very brief moment, also has dramatically altered my life.

On The Uphill Path To Recovery

I did make that call for help the following business day. And I have been diagnosed with PTSD due to sexual and emotional trauma throughout my life. It took nearly two years for me to locate that hidden box in the upper floor of my brain.

And it took even longer before I could actually open, just a small bit, of that box. And once I did, all of the fear came spewing out at me. All of sadness. All of the shame. And a whole, whole lot of tears. Sobbing, snot rolling, can’t catch your breath tears.

The nightmares and flashbacks increased at least tenfold. Probably more.

This, in and of itself, has dramatically changed how I live my life. Five years ago I was enjoying being out with friends and meeting new people, working with the public, and living with that unknown, locked away box, which I had just learned to somehow live with… It all changed to having an uncountable amount of sleepless nights.

And a very uncharacteristic fear of going into public. Fear of pretty much all men. A startle reflex which has been absolutely off the charts.

It’s been a little more than three years of therapy, so far. A few things I’ve learned is that I continued to chose men who would fill the deep, deep void that horrendous experience left inside me. Men, in many ways, with the same manipulative ways as that 16 year old boy. And if I did happen to notice any inklings of red flags, I simply justified them away, just as I had all those years before. And I just knew, that if I tried really hard, I could help them to change. Or make them change. I could, somehow, get them to show me they loved me just as much as their words expressed.

I’ve had to work on (and I’m still working on) something I guess I’ve always had, but failed to recognize in myself, which is disgust. Utter disgust with myself. Feeling as if it was my fault. The logical side of me actually knows it wasn’t my fault. From the time I was just a very young girl of twelve years old and those terrifying experiences with that boy shaped my life.

But now, after years of therapy (which I will continue), and I’m now in my 50s, I’ve been doing my own deep studying, research and homework. And I’m very slowly improving. I’ve remained relationship free at this point since 2004, definitely by design. I’ve learned that I absolutely will do everything I can to NOT follow this pattern into my future. My self learning and therapy has taught me a lot about myself…

Like that I’m courageous, and strong and brave because I’ve lived through all of those years without becoming completely mentally unstable. I’d never turned to suicide as the answer (although I have to admit, there were so, so many times suicidal ideation has taken me over), I’d never turned to addictive drugs, overeating, smoking, or anything other coping mechanism.

But I’m very afraid of actually submitting this piece to Raising World Children for all of you to read. I’m scared to put this out there into cyberspace. I’m apprehensive of what you’ll think of me. The memories of those kids at school when I returned are haunting me right now. Even though I’ve done so much work on myself through therapy and my own self discovery on what other people think of me, and having this quote etched into my brain, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” But I still worry about what you’ll think of me.

I intend to read this piece to my BFF (in the whole wide world) before I submit it. As I’ve been writing this, I’ve been seeking the courage and strength necessary to let all of you read something about me that is so raw. The wound is still open. And I still don’t remember my whole story. After a certain amount of having the old memories come leaping out of that box at me, I still am working very hard to keep it closed. I’m still working on coping with it myself. Very often, I just want the memories to stop. So I work so extra hard to keep the box closed. To shove it back into that dark and dingy corner where it was for all those years…

But somehow, I think it’s necessary for me to tell you my story. I know that others have gone through their own personal hell in their lives. I just really hope that my message reaches the ears of those who need courage. Who need to muster up just a wee bit of strength. Perhaps this will give someone that gentle, yet forceful push to speak out to their family, share with friends, seek out therapy and work diligently.

My thoughts are with you my Friend and I send you my love in return. Do you have a story to share with me now? Go ahead. There’s no judgement here. 

Don't Let Your Shame Hold You Hostage | Speak Up | Affect of Assault on Victims | Let Kids Talk | Me Too | What is affect of sexual asaault ?

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”

 

Using Potty Training To Develop Early Core Values

by with No Comment ContemporaryEmpowermentVoices

Hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence are all qualities parents want to teach their children. We take them seriously. But most parents don’t think those are taught in the bathroom. That sounds silly. The truth is that the potty training stage is vital to building strong, capable children and lasting, solid relationships between parent and child.

You’ve taken the time to catch the coos and snag the snuggles. You rejoiced when baby rolled over and again when they took their first steps. But, the stinky messes at diaper change don’t garner the same praise or smiles, do they?

Yet, this process is certainly natural and the time you invest in your child transitioning from passive diaper filling to purposeful potty filling can boost your child’s self-esteem, deepen your relationship and, quite unexpectedly, be really fun.

So how does a parent make a party out of poop and pee? There are several things that you can incorporate into the process. All the things that toddlers enjoy in other rooms, they enjoy in the bathroom. Books, dolls, rhythms and quality time with you are all transferable to the bathroom. And as much as we were taught not to have a potty mouth, it is actually helpful to talk about the bathroom in other rooms.

That potty talk can take place in many ways. Good books exist to help put words in the mouths of parents unsure of how to start the potty dialogue. Adding such a book to the daily reading routine will help introduce the idea to both you and your child. Dolls are quite useful, too, not only adding a level of play, but also adding companionship. Dolls have a secret power, too. As you teach your child about anything, including potty training, encourage him to instruct the doll. As he tells the doll, what he understands and doesn’t understand, will become clear. Dolls are like mirrors reflecting your child’s understanding. If what you hear reminds you more of a funhouse mirror, try teaching that part again. Your child can’t do correctly what he doesn’t understand.

A successful process certainly begins with a great deal of support. And support is spelled t-i-m-e. You will spend time reading books, playing with dolls and maybe even singing bathroom themed songs.

What more can you do? You can take your child to the bathroom – when you use the potty. Narrating your “experience” might be awkward but it’s normal for your child. They are used to hearing his entire life narrated:

“Look at Katie walk!”
“Is Ayla eating with a spoon?”
“Andy is sitting like a big boy on the potty!”

We don’t usually exit the bathroom and announce proudly, “I made a poop in the potty and I washed my hands after!” But, your child will find that statement fun and encouraging. Why? Because as adults we see the bathroom as more of a library than an auditorium, but for a child “all the world’s a stage”. While you can use the bathroom several times a day without giving it a thought, this process is awkward for most children. It’s not like you let them poop into any other chair in the house.

And to be honest, that toilet flush is loud and not a little creepy, right?. Potty training is a very transitional and empowering time in a child’s life. This is the first physical accomplishment that they are attempting to master since walking and requires much more control, awareness, detail and sequencing.

Being in the bathroom with you for your assorted “accomplishments” will be a great learning tool, too. They can sit on thier little potty while you assume the throne. When you wipe and flush, so can they. You can wash and dry your hands together.

Doing this together several times a day will help reinforce that this is a natural process that everyone does and makes muscle memory for the sequence of wiping and flushing, wishing and drying. And whether or not they makes a deposit at the potty bank, allow your child to praise you for your job well done!

Through many attempts comes a success. And a string of successes becomes mastery. Your confidence is bestowed in praising the effort more than the outcome. While they sits on the potty, each moment of your time in conversation, reading a book, singing a song, or involving a doll will give her the patience to keep trying. It will also build her conviction that you will always be there to help her.

Some children take to potty training more quickly and some need more time. Some children have developmental delays and some have had trauma in their young lives and need even more support and patience.

The good news is that this often dreaded stage of parenting is really a great platform for the coming phases.

You and your child will set precedent for the learning process. Your child will learn how to trust you with other obstacles they face. Potty training isn’t just a physical accomplishment, it is emotionally empowering, too.

The openness you share will help build a more trusting relationship in the future. Your child will pass through life going from one accomplishment into the next challenge. Being the interactive, encouraging and inspiring parent at this phase will show your child that you will be all of those things in the next.

Don’t worry about how fast you get potty training done or get dragged into the “I trained my child faster” race. Successful potty training should not be defined not by how quickly it was done – but by how thoroughly it was done – by how happily it was done – by how the parent-child relationship blossomed in the process.

Done successfully, the achievement of toilet training will give your child confidence they can build on for a lifetime, and help them to develop those desired qualities of hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence.

How was your potty training experience over all? Do share the lessons you learned with us below. 

Jackie Leverton is the founder of Tot on the Pot. She and her husband combined their love  for kids and family, to create fun and meaningful activities, driving them forward every single day. So in an effort to help moms and dads enjoy every minute with their kids (even the crappy ones), they spent years crafting the perfect play based solution that would actually make kids want to adopt the potty as part of their routine.
How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition In America

by with 8 Comments festivalsHeritageVoices

Perhaps, like myself, you’ve gotten curious about how Thanksgiving came to be. We all know the stories we learned in elementary school, about the Pilgrims celebrating the first Thanksgiving with the American Indians.

Presently, we celebrate by serving turkey (and crafting turkeys! Remember all the different ways our teachers came up with constructing turkeys for us to create through the years?), we dine on stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, and I can’t forget the unusual family favorite, cranberry sauce.

What WAS Thanksgiving Like ? 

But my curiosity ran deeper than that. When WAS the first Thanksgiving? What was it REALLY like? Did the Pilgrims dress like the images we depicted in our drawings? With the women in matronly dresses wearing the bonnets on their heads? And the men with formal three piece blue or gray suits and wearing tall hats?

I was out to find the TRUTH. What really happened all those years ago? So I Googled “The history of American Thanksgiving,” which of course, brought back thousands of hits.

I sought out, what I felt, were reputable sources, the History Channel and MayflowerHistory.com and with pen and paper in hand, began feverishly writing down what I found. According to them, the first Thanksgiving occurred in 1621 with the Wampanoag Indian Tribe.

It was a celebration of an abundant autumn harvest where the Wampanoag had given lessons to the Pilgrims on how to enhance their crops growth. Some of the crops, according to written account by William Bradford, the governor at that time, were wheat, barley, peas Indian corn and another variety called flint corn. But contrary to our present meals including mashed potatoes and gravy, potatoes had yet to be introduced to the colonies.

The meal was also rich in fruits and berries, from mother nature’s own harvest. As far as the plentiful types of meats which were served, of which turkey was one of them, there were also multiple types of fish, mussels, lobster and a variety of water fowl. Another type of meat which was served was venison, or the meat from the deer.

It’s interesting to me how of all of the large variety of foods served in 1621, our traditional Thanksgiving meals are typically comprised of turkey dinners.

Thanksgiving Becomes A Tradition 

Also, as it turns out, this first Thanksgiving didn’t go by that name, and it also wasn’t an annual event. It wasn’t until almost 200 years later, in the mid 1800’s, that it became celebrated annually in a just few of the state’s and colonies. And it didn’t have a preset annual date, like we have now.

It came after particularly great fall harvests. Some of our presidents, such as George Washington, John Adams and James Madison called for having a day of Thanksgiving, but once again, the celebrations were sporadic.

But it was a woman named Sarah Josepha Hale, the author of the classic poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” who relentlessly devoted 36 years of her life writing letters to various large newspapers in the 1800’s and letters of request to every president elected and reigning in that time, pleading for a day of thanks to be annually celebrated in honor of that first meal in Plymouth, Massachusetts in 1621.

It was President Abraham Lincoln who finally took her words to heart and in 1863 made Thanksgiving a national holiday. His hopes, at the time, were to bring together all of America’s citizens during the dreadful times of the Civil War. It wasn’t until much later that the last Thursday in November was the date to be devoted to the holiday.

The Story of Squanto – The Real Giving

As I delved in farther to the history of Thanksgiving, I found a website created by the Manataka American Indian Council giving their own account of that first Thanksgiving almost 400 years ago and their depiction is dramatically different in many ways. They write about the Pilgrims bringing the small pox virus to their land, in which a good many of the Indians couldn’t survive. The Pilgrims, believing they were coming to a new free land, where they would be able to stake their claims to land where ever they pleased, actually brought on wars which slaughtered many more of the American Indian tribes… And much of those who did survive were allowed to live only to become slaves to the Pilgrims.

But there was one Indian in particular named Squanto, who came to learn the English language, taught many of the Pilgrims what he knew about hunting, fishing, and growing an abundant harvest. And it was Squanto who initiated and and brought together the new people of their land and the Wampanoag Indians with a treaty. It was following the first full year of honoring this treaty that the Wampanoag and the Pilgrims celebrated by giving thanks.

The account given by the Wampanoag does continue to tell the stories of boatloads of new settlers coming to the new country creating havoc by taking over the Indian’s land and enslaving many. As you can see, this side tells a vastly different story than that of people like William Bradford’s account and I’m curious to know who’s account is more accurate? Perhaps it was somewhere in between?

Thanksgiving Today

At any rate, these days, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving by honoring the people and occasions in their lives they’re grateful for. The majority of families celebrate by bringing extended families together and sharing the traditional turkey dinner. Everyone eats way too much food causing them to loosen their belt buckles or simply undo the snap of their slacks (as for me, I learned a long time ago to wear pants with an elastic waistband to our Thanksgiving meal).

Many of us even perform the ritual of going around the table and enjoying listening to each person recite some of the things their thankful for. Another traditional event which happens every Thanksgiving is that the television is almost always turned on as everyone’s eyes are glued to their sets watching a full day of football.

Americans also celebrate this day every year with parades. Cities and towns big and small, across the country bring communities together with a parade full of floats, in which volunteers work extremely long hours to create something new and innovative. They’re built on trailers of various sizes and pulled by cars, trucks, motorcycles, tractors…

Some are even built right atop these vehicles. High school marching bands march along in formation, rock, jazz and other musicians play, sometimes marching along, sometimes having their instruments and microphones set up upon flatbed trailers. You can find clowns often tossing candies to the children, Future Farmers of America groups, and veteran groups marching with pride, I’ve even seen bagpipes and fife bands. You might find people walking on stilts, riding on unicycles, and who knows what else!

You never know what fun and interesting groups each community has to offer. But I can promise you a great experience. If you’re not from America, and are contemplating a visit, during the Thanksgiving holidays is an awesome time to do it. Please, come and experience how the city or town and family your visiting, celebrates this American historical holiday.

Each will offer you a local parade they’ve made uniquely their own, a delicious and filling meal, and after dinner, you get to kick back in a recliner, let your very full stomach settle from all the food you just ate, and watch how maniacal we Americans can get as we watch our favorite teams vie together in the football game on television. And just when you think the meal is over and there’s absolutely no way you possibly eat another bite… a plate of pumpkin pie appears in your hands, and surprisingly you eat a little more.

If you’re from America, I’d love to hear about how your family celebrates Thanksgiving, and those from abroad, I’d also love to hear from you too. Does your country or culture have a holiday inspired by giving thanks for what you have? What time of year is it celebrated and how?

I’m so incredibly curious to learn about how different families, different countries and different cultures come together and celebrate. Please feel free to write about it to me in the comment section below.

The Real Story of How Thanksgiving Became A Tradition in America | Raising World Children | Stories for Kids

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”

23 Lessons About Life Learnt From Kids

by with 6 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentfestivalsVoices

How wondrous are kids !!! It’s mind blowing to observe their dynamics within and the conclusions they draw on a daily basis. Children’s Day – November 14th in India, November 20th around the world, I want to take the time to appreciate the many, many lesson kids teach us about living fuller lives ! 

The holiday was first celebrated worldwide in October 1953, adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1954. In India, Children’s Day is observed on November 14 as a public holiday, and is dedicated to the birth anniversary of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, for the extreme love for children and worked passionately for the welfare of children.

Thanks to Facebook and parents around the world sharing snippets of their lives, I am inspired daily by kids’ resilience, their creativity, their humor, their compassion and their capacity to think break the proverbial box, not just think outside it.

Of course we don’t need a day to celebrate our children. They are special. In more ways than one. But it’s great to take a minute to acknowledge what THEY bring into our lives. Not just happy moments, and anecdotes but how they make our lives so much more fuller and better by making us want to be better people !
Here are lessons from around the world talking about how the little wonders they come across or live with have inspired –

Lesson 1 

My children taught me to love technology. It’s because of them I embraced the internet and smart phones and Facebook. (I draw the line at SnapChat. Yuck!) They seem to learn so quickly, and embrace new ideas so effortlessly. They’re grown up now, and I admire them very much.

Kay Bolden 

Lesson 2 

I taught children so I learned from them, from my own and now from my grandchildren. They taught me to listen, to be creative, to challenge myself just as I challenged them, to have fun. To make snow angels, to paint, to roll on the floor, to see how care and loving can create wonderful human beings.

Jan Cox

Lesson 3 

My children are emerging adults now (22, 20 & 17). They have taught me how to surrender myself to the moment, to be more present, honest and loving. They’ve also taught me so much about God’s unconditional love; mine is imperfect, but I can’t image NOT loving any one of my children regardless of the path they follow. I believe God’s heart is like that (and so much more).

Caroline DePalatis

Lesson 4 

I’ve learned to slow down and appreciate the small things. There’s nothing so important it’s worth rushing through those magical small moments with them.

Leanna Guillen Mora

Lesson 5 

Taking the time to do things. We’re always in a rush. Let’s slow down!

At night when I often struggled with self doubt and overwhelm from school, my mom would firmly say: Deanne, gives Me a shower and then go to bed. No more thinking tonight.

I still hear her voice when my mind gets spinning and tired.

Deanne Welsh

Lesson 6 

My children have definitely proved to me that “our children do as we do and not as we tell them to do”. Whether it be us, as parents, their teachers or their peers, actions speak louder than words.

Lisa Sadleir

Lesson 7 

For me, being a mom is equal parts challenge and fulfillment. Our kids teach us so many lessons! Parenthood has been the greatest experience of my life. Thanks for the thread!

Katie O Connel 

Lesson 8 

Kids are so creative by nature. They love experiment and play. By listening to them I learnt what works best in teaching.

Galina Nikitina

Lesson 9 

Kids are taught to have good manners and discipline from not only what we teach but also from our deeds. We always try to make it right teaching them to ask sorry and say thanks but unfortunately sometimes we totally forget to apologize or thank them when its needed.

Recently I was reminded by my kid to apologize when I accidentally dropped her toy. That moment I realized its crucial to stay in a way we advice them how to be.

Suja Dinesh

Lesson 10 

More than anything,i hv learned forgiveness n giving a second chance to others!!
Kids never hold grudges, no ego issues !!

Shalini Tyagi

Lesson 11 

I have learned that curiosity keeps us inspired and present! It’s a pathway into just BEing and enjoying, basking in, this BEingness.

I also learned, many years ago, that children are extremely perceptive. They can sense and intuit so much, and it’s very worthwhile to listen to them. To sit with them and learn from their perspectives. The wisdom they hold, without effort, is beautiful!

Courtney Lynn Harris

Lesson 12 

The greatest lesson I’ve learned from my children is how to be a Mom. When I was eight and half months pregnant with my first child in 1992, I remember calling my mom crying. In between sobs, I managed to get out the words, “Mom, what business do I have being pregnant? I don’t know the first thing about kids!” I was 30 years old and, believe it not, I’d never even babysat before. There are no wiser words than those my mom spoke back then. “Jane, you’ll just know.” And that’s exactly what I’ve experienced through the years. Even though children aren’t born with an “instruction manual,” being a Mom, somehow, just came natural. Somehow, I just knew what to do. My children are now 21 and 25, and although I still wish sometimes they’d come with an instructional manual, they’re still teaching me so many wonderful lessons about being a Mom.

Janie Saylor

Lesson 13 

My kids have taught me to dial back my brain. I find I’m thinking slower and feeling deeper than I ever did. Having kids wasn’t just a new chapter in life for me, it was an entirely new book. Where I focused on the goal and the destination now I have realized the value of the journey and the experience. I feel bad for my husband – it’s like he is now married to a totally different person!

Puneeta Chhitwal-Varma

Lesson 14

It’s okay to forgive. I make so many mistakes but every time I apologise, my children greet me with open arms and no grudges while I’m likely to mull over how they are “always” behaving terribly even if they do it only sometimes.

Aparajita Kumar

Lesson 15

I have learned from kids how to be resilient. Kids have difficulties in their lives, just like adults do. They somehow seem to bounce back more easily. Children have taught me to enjoy life in the moment, no matter what your circumstances are.

Cara Whitney Bangerter 

Lesson 16 

I’ve learned that they are their own and never a carbon copy of ourselves. Watching them grow into their personalities has been amazing. I’m so proud of my three daughters and the women they are becoming. 

David Mike

Lesson 17

Believe in your heart and follow your dreams from the 5 yo. Be a succulent and suck up the memories from the 11 yo. From both: sometimes a fire in your heart can get you into a wee bit of trouble. No one can get you down but you, figuratively, and down the mountain.

Nicole Fassnacht Akers

Lesson 18

My 14 month old grand daughter who passed away, taught us how to live in the present, she taught us that little things matter, and how to cherish what we have.

Anne Gollias Peterson

Lesson 19 

I’ve learned children thrive on love and want more of us and more of our attention, than they do material things. Children say it like it is and the humor is so natural. For example, one morning I was driving my 4 year old grandson to school. We saw his neighbor, an elderly woman, walking rather slowly down her driveway. I said, “Hunter, I wonder if your neighbor isn’t feeling well today. She’s moving a little slow this morning.” Hunter replied in a matter-of-fact kind of way and with no disrespect intended, “That’s what old peoples do. They move slow…. Like a sloth.” I cracked up so hard and he didn’t laugh.

Dorris Swift 

Lesson 20 

I am learning that children are sponges that absorb all the information available and then link them in their minds. We can enhance this learning by not just teaching them what’s in their schoolbooks but also getting them interested in other hobbies and interests to develop an overall learning.

I have learned we should never underestimate theri ability and capabilities by our measures. We need to challenge them to think out of the box and be amazed at their creativity.

Rebecca Vijay

Lesson 21 

I learned the graceful power of compassion in response to fear, and the quiet strength of dedication in the face of difficulty from my 8-yr-old grandson.

You can read more about the lessons her grandson’s taught her on her website below.

Danielle Bernock

Lesson 22 

I’ve learned from my kids the importance of being fully and authentically myself. As I watch them grow, I admire their unique personality traits, and I see how they really shine when being true to themselves. I feel like I have learned this lesson many times in my life, but it still helps to remember that I’m happiest being myself.
Cathy Brown

Lesson 23 

To feel my feelings fully and let them go and move on.

Stephanie Berryman 

My Lesson  

The Biggest life lesson my kids teach me daily is that there has to be a sense of wonder about every thing we do. The fascinating joy and enthusiasm  they have to everything that’s new is truly heart warming. In this cynical world, it is often easy to get lost in the darkness. My kids ensure that my mornings begin with a light heart and smile.

These still just a drop of what kids teach us on a daily basis. And that’s just one of the reasons why it is our responsibility to ensure they are given every possible opportunity to grow in a healthy and happy environment. Not just with our view point, but with the help of the village that is the world !

Pay attention !!! Kids not only inspire to live a better life, they show you a whole new way to look at the world around you.

Raising World Children Brings You 23 Life Lessons Learnt From Kids Around You

 

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ” .
Matches Are Made In Heaven

Matches Are Made In Heaven

by with 2 Comments festivalsVoices

Matches are made in heaven !!

Its true! Indeed !!

Initially, I was quite dubious of the fact — Matches are made in heaven.

Our Arranged Marriage

But after getting married to my husband, I have started believing in it. Ours was a totally arranged marriage, wherein the bride’s parents meet the groom’s parents. The Kundlis were exchanged. And it’s only when the Kundlis match, the conversation regarding the two people — the girl and the boy,starts. And as per our tradition, I also believe in these nity gritty things. After all, it’s for us only.

Fortunately, our Kundlis matched.Then the day was fixed on which we will meet face to face. So on the a decided day, we met. Though our meeting had to happen but it was still very unusual. As we both were working , so neither of us was interested in taking a leave just to meet the partner in question.

Knowing he felt the same, attracted me towards knowing him more. So, it was decided that we will ll meet in a park during the morning hours.The morning where everybody was busy in their morning walk, jogging, yoga and what not, we were there to discuss our serious future.

And on that day, in those 10-15 minutes, to be precise, something happened – which changed our lives!

He was his normal quiet self while I was doing the chatting and the questioning. I felt somewhat irritable too when I was not getting the responses from him. But there’s an element of simplicity and something was there in his eyes, which got stuck somewhere.

After the meeting got over, we both went to our respective offices and from my office, I agreed to my father to move ahead in this relation. Right! I said yes and in just one hour two complete strangers became everything for each other.

So, the match was fixed. And we got engaged on 17.4.2005. But, still the marriage had to wait. There was a long courtship period of 7 months. And that was the time, we got to know each other, somewhat. His way of surprising me in one form or another had surprised me.

When I was least expecting him or his call, I used to get the shock of my life by seeing him outside my workplace , which was admired by me always. As he was not a very chatty person, so he used to make it up by something or the other.

arranged marriage

And thus, the cupid finally struck! We got married on 14.11.2005, Children’s Day. See, it felt like God had also made plans for us. The date got inscribed along with the celebration of children’s day and our dear Nehruji’s birthday. On that day, amidst our families and friends,in a large set up, he came on the horse like my prince charming and I became his better half, forever.

Though we had our ups and downs,struggles and rewards, fights and romance, still the bond of love and trust for each other has kept us tied with each other. Touch wood!

Thus, I concluded, whether it is arranged marriage or love marriage, love can happen anytime and anywhere. These are just the names to help us move further. Rest is all our faith, trust, love, respect ,maturity and responsibility towards each other, which matters a lot. Gradually, I had realized that love doesn’t mean to ignore the flaws of the person but it means to accept the flaws of the person and let him also accept yours so as to have a pious and lovable life.

Because—Matches are made in heaven. Share your wedding story with me.

 Ruchika Rastogi, an Indian who was born and brought up in Delhi. She loves to explore the unexplored. A mother of two lovely kids, she works as a teacher and her passion for writing has helped her survive during her hard times. Her first non fiction book got published last year with the name-A Mystical Majesty-the woman. As a contributing author, her anthology with the title–Wait Till I Tell You got launched recently. With dreams in her eyes, she believes in living life optimistically.
Storytelling: An Irish Tradition Set to Music

Storytelling: An Irish Tradition Set to Music

by with No Comment festivalsVoices

I watched an older couple get up to dance. It was difficult for her, age had stolen her flexibility and strength, but she was determined to dance her appreciation of the fiddle band up on the stage. Her gaze alternated between her husband and the ground, checking to see if she was getting the movements right. Her partner was spry, sporting a single diamond in one ear, a day’s grizzled beard growth and a grin. He held both her hands as he kicked up his heels and she tentatively tried a few steps, smiling at the man before her.

Nearby, two little girls in long, flowing dresses and ribbon crowns danced with a third child wearing an “I’m the real boss” t-shirt. Welcome to The Great American Irish Festival, where everyone can be a “weekend Irish” and all, regardless of age, ability or ethnicity are welcome. It’s an annual melting pot in the heart of New York wine country, and far away from everything at the Herkimer Fairgrounds.

#irishstrong

It’s said that music knows no boundaries and the adage seems to hold true at this three-day music and cultural festival held every year on the final weekend of July. Naturally, there’s food and drink. Haggis, anyone? Or perhaps a scone? And there are trinkets for those wanting to take a little of the festival home. But the real stars are the music and the stories, and they’re intertwined.

The Irish tell a good story.

This year, Colleen Searson told the story with her fiddle of a night at the top of a secluded stairway on the roof of a castle in Ireland. She spoke, then played and we could all see the black night and the stars, and feel the cool night air in After the Waltz. And the music had no words.

And then there was Joe Keane, the storyteller. Speaking in a soft voice, he told the story of the meanings behind the Celtic knot. It’s about infinity with no beginning and no end. He talked about the tree of life, and the seasons of the earth through an Irishman’s eyes. And he talked about the importance of strong roots, his fingers fanning downward and then upward with growth. It was an old story, but intense in the telling. Joe Keane made certain you were listening and understanding, watching carefully for a nod and smile. It was important to him that you understood.

What is magical about this particular festival, in this particular place, is the diversity.

While there are certainly a great number of Irish in attendance, there are also a number of “weekend Irish” that come for the day. They come to hear the stories, to dance, to laugh, to be part of a connected community for at least a little while. They learn a few words, they marvel at the range of the fiddle and they smile at strangers who smile right back.

The stories told are of the Irish, but they are also of everyone that has struggled and succeeded. And also of the ones that did not, because that is life. The brogue is sweet to the ear, and the stories are familiar. Off to war to fight for home and country. The loss of love. The road home. The heartbreaks and triumphs are universal, even if the language varies.

The message is simple: we are one.

The festival of the Irish is a call to connect, to respect traditions and to know the history of a people. As parents, exposing our children to these snapshots of other cultures and other people is vital to their education. Not only do we engage with folks we don’t know, and learn about our differences, we learn about how much we are alike. We connect.

  Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.
7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy

7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy

by with 11 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentnbc12ParentingVoices

I read the headline. Mass shooting in Texas. My throat constricts. My heart beat stops. I look at the number of people who died, and my eyes well up imagining what their families will be going through in the next few hours.

This has been a vicious repeated cycle of despair recently. What a horror filled end of year it’s been! Hurricanes, acts of terrorism, mass shootings have left families reeling under the possibility of tragedy slamming into their lives at a moment’s notice.

Lost links. Hearts broken. Lives forever changed!

Highly sensitive people like me, specially those who have experienced loss earlier and are now parents, imagine what it would be like be in that situation again. We constantly look over our shoulder, anticipating danger. Prepare for what we would do, should we feel threatened. We scour information for how to try to stay safe and avoid public places that might be an easy target.

For acts of God, we make endless lists and prep our homes for eventualities.

Through all this, I worry about what future our children holds. Are we preparing them enough for what is to come. Even worse, what might come.

Harsh Reality For Kids Today

A few weeks ago, my son told me about a drill they do at school. He explained to me what they would do if a “mean man” came to the school wanting to do bad things. We don’t watch the news in our home. So, I don’t think he yet knows the actual implications of what will happen to him.  My heart fills with fear (is an understatement)  at the thought of him and his adorable little friends who come home often ever having to go through that drill in reality.

What a sad world we live in where we need to prepare our kids for such circumstances! But taking the school’s lead, in spite of how nauseous as the thought of it makes me I have to prepare my kids to the best of my ability to be ready in such cases. 

[bctt tweet=”6 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy” username=”contactrwc”]

7 Empowering Ways To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy | Prepare Kids For Tragedy | Disaster Preparation for kids

Have a Code Word

If your kids are anything like mine, they do not listen to anything you have to say easily. Talk to your kids about a word they think denotes urgency and that puts them on the alert for instructions to come.

Prep Them With Set of Instructions 

I’m a big believer in preparation. So make sure your kids know to Run, Hide, or do whatever it is that you ask them to do. I will not lay out a hard line for  you, because every child is different and needs a different set of instructions to follow. At school, kids mimic other kids. At home though, it is up to parents to gauge what detail of information your kids can process.

For example, in my home I say the below to my kids.

  • Listen to what mom dad or an authority figure says.
  • Stay with mom and dad no matter what.
  • It will be a very difficult situation so stay very quiet and listen hard.
  • There could be situation where we say Run then RUN!
  • Find a person in uniform and tell them your address and phone number.
  • If mom and dad are not there, call so and so and ask for help.

Teach Them About Emergency Needs

The school is wonderful at teaching kids the difference between needs and wants, but in tragic times, needs take on a different meaning. Teach them what a need is in case of a natural disaster, health emergency etc. If you can, prep a bag with bare necessities, and emergency care that they know where to look for.

Reiterate The Above Over And Over

Like everything else in life, this too needs practice. So, ensure to make your kids understand that the above is important and needs to be remembered.

Talk To Your Kids About Predators and Acts of God

My kids are super friendly. It has been a hard journey teaching them about how to figure out what a bad man does and how they should protect themselves.

It is even more difficult to explain to my fear filled son that a tornado is not something that comes randomly with every rainfall. Explaining to him the nature of weather and how hurricanes and other natural disasters has been helpful.

How To Protect Your Kids From Tragedy | Raising World Children | Empower

Be With Your Kids 

This seems like a no brainier but in the hustle of every day life, we often don’t get time to get in that extra snuggle time.

These are difficult times. More than anything, kids need to know they are safe and loved. My kids are sensitive so even when we talk about monster men or bad situations they get disturbed. Also, with information coming in from all quarters even if you protect your child from the media, they may have friends who talk to them about real events. Make sure to be present with your kids to stay connected to what’s going on in their little hearts.

Have open lines of communication always!

Take Actions For A Brighter Future 

Kids are always listening, observing and pick up on body language cues. While it is impossible to be positive all the time, we can teach kids to be empowered by being great examples our selves. In spite of such events, we need to hold onto hope and light the candle for our future generation.

Volunteer as much as you can. Vote for the right candidates. Have open dialogue about mental illness, drug use, relationships, peer pressure and current trends. Surround yourself with positive energies. 

Above all, ensure to do everything in your power to be a kind human being yourself! And do make sure to give your kids an extra tight on these disturbing days.

 What would you suggest we add to this list ? 

Featured on NBC12 News Website | Raising World Children |

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”
5 Awesome Travel Hacks When Traveling With Your Teens

The Power of A Family Circle

by with 6 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentVoices

Have you ever called an “emergency family meeting?” Did you gather in a circle around the kitchen table? Or huddle together on the couch? What prompted that meeting? Chances are it was a less than desirable circumstance or conflict. Perhaps it was a broken curfew, academic struggles, or a disrespectful outburst. Family challenges often prompt us to gather up, get talking, and fix problems.

What if your children associated “family meetings” or circles with honest, connected, nurturing communication, though? Not just problems!

As a Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, I teach restorative circles to families with school-aged children. This powerful, co-created system for family-community-building and conflict management provides families with powerful, timeless, and healing tools.

Because family systems are constantly changing as the humans grow and evolve, this go-to system protects and supports family conversation, creates a strong foundation of trust, and encourages authentic connection. Using this method, you and you family will build positive associations with sitting in circles and talking about a wide range of family-based topics. Rather than expecting a lecture or a consequence during the “meeting,” your children and teens will experience “circles” as the rich soil from which the family cultivates love and understanding.

Restorative circles invite both parents and children of all ages to co-create the family environment and relationships together. It’s up to you, as the parent, to lead your family, yes, but this doesn’t mean you do it alone or without support. As you share the power of building your life together with your children, pressure and weight can be lifted. You don’t have to manage everything on your own. Likewise, as your children become more empowered, they engage in and create family dynamics with greater intention and investment. It’s a win-win, both in the short and long term.

“The fundamental unifying hypothesis of restorative practices is disarmingly simple: that human beings are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in their behavior when those in positions of authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them.”

Peacemaking circles and restorative practices have roots in Native and indigenous cultures. This idea of gathering face to face is not new. However, being open to the wisdom of our ancestors and of the process of circling takes intention. We have different distractions, interruptions, and challenges in our lives; thus, it takes attention and purposeful action to create a strong foundation of community within the family unit.

Restorative circles offer families a framework for having open communication and bonding opportunities. If you commit, as a family, to having a weekly Family Building Circles, coming to circle in moments of conflict or difference will feel much more comfortable. Here, I offer you the core elements of Family Building Circles, along with the philosophy behind each aspect.

Core Elements Circle + The Philosophy of the Circle:

Circle- Circles have no end and no beginning. Each person’s seat place in the circle is equal to the next person’s and you can make eye contact with everyone in the circle. All members of the family circle sit at the same level, either floor or chair.  This is symbolic of shared and equal power. The circle itself indicates that all family members are worthy of the same respect; each member has the freedom and space to express themselves. “Circle” is also the name of the process of having an organized dialogue while sitting in circle.

Talking Piece- An object that can be safely and easily passed is the talking piece. It indicates that only one person will talk at a time; likewise, it denotes that all other members will actively listen when they don’t have the talking piece. The talking piece will always travel the circle in order, even if a member chooses to skip a round, which encourages focus, patience, and turn-taking. Talking pieces can be created or selected to watch the topic of each individual circle or they might be an item that the family relates to and holds dear.

Rounds– This is one pass around the circle in order. Family building circles are often pre-planned and focus on a single topic. A series of questions guide the family through intentional conversation and sharing. The talking piece regulates the round, giving each member equal opportunity to speak and be heard.

Values- What guides you and helps inform your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? What is most important to you? What do you hold dear? Family members name their values as a guide for how you will treat one another during the circle process (and moving forward from the circle). Values also establish safety norms for the conversation and the relationships.

Facilitator- All members of the family participate equally; however, one member may be the facilitator of a particular circle. The facilitator reads each prompt and helps ensure that circle norms are being respected. Facilitation is an opportunity for children to be leaders in their family.

As you begin using circles often with the intention of building family community, you will experience a growth in trust, communication, and openness. Then, when conflict arises, you already have a system and connected emotional history for dialoguing about how to transform and repair the hurt.

E-mail Courtney for a FREE template and model for a family building circle to get started!

What is a Family Circle | Power | Use


Courtney Harris : Child-Centered Coach for Teens and Parents, Courtney supports children ages 11-19 in finding their voice, growing confidence, and thriving. Through 1:1 and small group coaching sessions, teens and tweens are able to overcome anxiety, disconnect, and isolation as they discover their truest sense of self and develop a deep sense of empowerment. Courtney supports parents in self-care, growing alongside their children, and in developing balanced sensitivity towards the process their child is creating. Sessions with both teens and parents guide families in developing the trust, communication, and connection that’s crucial for a life of ease. You can find out more about Courtney Harris Coaching here:and 

 

Teaching Diversity To Our Kids

Teaching Diversity To Our Kids

by with 6 Comments EmpowermentHeritageVoices

The Pew research center published an article last year about diversity pointing out 10 important demographic trends last year. One of the statistics stood out for me. It said” By 2055, the U.S. will not have a single racial or ethnic majority.”

We are raising our children in increasingly diverse society with representations from so many different cultures. The electorate, the work force, our education system are all going to be impacted. We will see people around with different ways of speaking, dressing, eating, praying and living. It is a massive opportunity to learn about each other and grow. We will essentially witness a rainbow of cultures, but we have to be ready to open our windows and step outside. What are some things we can do to make diversity an important part of our households?

Celebrate together

Festivals are important. Other than celebrating with our family and friends, we should raise awareness in our schools about each other’s festivals. For example, I realized fall is chock full of festivals from different cultures. It would be great to do a showcase of different cultures in school. Maybe a culture day to celebrate different festivals Rosh Hasanah, Diwali, Onam, Eid, Ashura, Thanksgiving to name a few. Check the calendar and stop by the school and see if you can talk to the classroom about your festival. Encourage other families from different ethnic groups to do the same.

Read together

Children are constantly looking at the books they read to form world opinions. Let’s give our children diverse material. There is no need to be pedantic about cultural topics. Sometimes simple books are the best conversation starters. If you have read ‘Last stop on Market Street’ by Matt De La Pena, you will know what I mean. The book teaches empathy and love in a way that is so easy and even fun for the children to understand. Ask your library to stock up with diverse books be it from your culture or other cultures you have been curious about.

Bond together

Make an effort to build connections with families from different cultures. We are always comfortable with the familiar, but we learn and grow by exposing ourselves to the new. Call your neighbors over be it for Chai and samosas or Coffee and Cake. Arrange for playdates with children from different communities. Just stop by and say hello to that person who just moved here from a different country. Let your friendships expand.

Travel wide

What better way to learn about different ways of living than actually seeing and experiencing it. Travel far and travel wide. Make it a cultural learning experience. Observe the trees, the houses, the churches, the temples and talk about similarities and differences. Try different foods, speak to the local people. Let your child always be curious.

Learn more languages

Keep your mother tongue alive. If you are a multilingual household, speak to your child in different languages. Don’t worry, children’s minds are like little sponges. They will have no problems communicating using multiple languages. Teach numbers in different languages, use basic words for food, colors and slowly build up. I need serious effort on this one myself!

What other ideas do you have to teach diversity to your kids?

How To Teach Kids About Diversity | Raising World Children | Learning | Children | Peace

 

Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love.

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA 

 

 

Using Halloween To Impart Values To Kids

Using Halloween To Impart Values To Kids

by with One Comment festivalsParentingVoices
A chill has set in the air. Leaves are turning brown, dancing away to the tune of the swirling wind. This usually means Halloween is here! 
While partaking in the fun, this is an opportunity to give the children an all round experience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to help children make this holiday about more than chocolate and character costumes? To give them life lessons crucial to their very being. 
Safety First
Being safe is always paramount. And by re enforcing the below guidelines before trick or treating, you give children a gentle reminder to always be safe.
 
  1. No candy from strangers. This is for kids who go trick or treating themselves. No matter how friendly, they should be wary of taking candy from strangers or going near cars with unknown people in them.
  2. Candy has to be brought home before being eaten. Parents should always be given a chance to go through all the candy before it is eaten to check for any allergy issues or in case it has been tampered with. Yes, this is a scary thought but a necessary precaution.
  3. Decorate costumes and bags with reflective tape or stickers and, if possible, choose light colors so that the children can be seen as darkness falls. Have kids carry glow sticks or flashlights to help them see and be seen.
  4. Always walk on sidewalks. When there are no sidewalks, walk facing traffic as far to the left as possible. 
  5. Watch for cars that are turning or backing up. Children should never dart out into the street or cross between parked cars.
  6. Make sure costumes are not too big to avoid kids tripping on them.

Create Costumes

Do you really want to spend $50+ on a costume to be wore for an evening or a couple of parties ? I know we think about what the fun outfits and you go, “ Yay !” You immediately imagine the cute pictures your kids will be posing for. But this too can be turned into a learning experience by using your imagination to get the final output. You don’t necessarily have to get Martha Stewart crafty!
Two years ago, our son wanted to be Iron man. We stuck a dollar store light on his Iron man t shirt (after a lot of trying), put on a beard and he was Tony Stark! The year before that, he wore a long, tattered black sweater and one dollar glasses with a lightning rod on his forehead with a marker and he was Harry Potter!
But discussing with your child months, maybe weeks in advance how you can get the desired output without taking the easy road and picking something. Now I must admit this may take a bit of convincing on your part.
The force of peer pressure and easy of shiny store bought costumes is strong but it is truly worth it when they get really into it. You can actually see the kids’ brain gears moving and the spark in their eyes when they feel they have the right combination of things to throw together.

Last ear, a neighbor came to my house with a black cloth wrapped around his head. Just a cloth but he was so proud that he was a Ninja that I gave him extra brownie points and candy for putting in the effort. On the extremely inventive side, another kid rigged up a blood squirting apparatus to turn into the character from the movie Scream.
Most importantly, this helps kids subtly understand the essence of being unique and not falling under peer pressure.

Plan Pranks

Play a joke. Scare them silly. Take some time to plan some old school or new off the internet, kid friendly pranks. Get some gags at the store or make your own. I love playing the “I’m pulling my thumb out” joke on my kids. It freaks them out but they secretly love it (which is why they ask for repeat performances!) .
Pranks are not a necessity but teach children to be able to laugh at themselves. That being scared is okay. They learn to not take themselves too seriously, which they tend to grow to as they get older.
Planning kid friendly pranks with them assists in thinking ahead and anticipating reactions. Of course this should include the discussion of not playing pranks that might hurt others’ feelings which will invariably educate them about empathy.

Rehearse Manners

I sadly often see kids knocking on the door, grabbing a handful of candy and walking away. This leads us to necessity of the below re iteration of etiquette with children days before the event.
 
  1. Say “Trick or Treat” or “Happy Halloween”. Wishing on an occasion is very essential. You need to greet anyone celebrating and specially anyone who opens the door.
  2. Limit yourself to one. This is a great time to drive home the dying art of moderation in the face of instant gratification.
  3. Say “Thank You”. Children need to be told not everyone chooses to partake in the festivities. This makes it incredibly important to display gratitude towards those who choose to be generous this holiday.
  4. Do not scare kids who are already nervous or make fun of kids who might have a costume mishap or get petrified of a trick gone wrong.

Use The Candy For More Than Consumption

One quarter of all the candy sold annually in the U.S. is purchased for Halloween.
Eating a bucket full of candy is not healthy in any way. Not for your teeth, not for your body and certainly not on your mind. There are many other options to choose to multiply the joy of the receiving the candy. Firstly, make sure you have a set number of candy you and the children can partake. Then,
 
  1. Give to the less fortunate. Keeping your selections, the rest of the candy can be delivered to in person or be mailed to a charity of the kids’ choice. Searching for a charity piques their interest to learn more about the world around them. This is a wonderful way to teach children awareness, responsibility and of course the joy of donation.
  2. Get crafty and make gifts out of them for an upcoming occasion. For eg : with Thanksgiving right after, it is a great way to turn the left over candy into special treats for their friends to express gratitude to.
  3. In the immediate days after, the kids can wear their costumes and take extra candy to a local senior center for an evening of reverse trick-or-treating.
  4. Another wonderful sharing opportunity would be to share their left over candy with those children who for whatever reason could not celebrate on Halloween day. Have a party, extending the festivities and ask everyone who has candy to share and divide them among all attending.
  5. Introduce the Candy Fairy. Ask children if they would like to swap out their candy with a toy. They can place all the candy into a bucket and the next morning the Candy fairy magically transforms them into a toy.
  6. Freeze the candy or save it for later. This is the simplest thing you can do while teaching children how to save for later and indulging only as treats.

Talk About the History & Evolution of Halloween

For children interested, the historical transformation of this holiday will carry significance. Halloween is actually a celebration of Celtic origin to ward of evil ghosts and spirits. It marks the advent of the winter season as the days get shorter and winter gets longer. Historically/Culturally, this is supposed to be a day when the lines between the dead and alive blurs so bonfires were lit and costumes were donned to ward them off.
From being a day of the dead to a day when all dead, specially saints are celebrated with child like activities like the bobbing of apples and having festive parades to now being enjoyed all over the world with candy and costumes: Halloween has certainly morphed multiple times into it’s most fun form. You can read more here Trick or Treat: A History of Halloween and fun easy to read ghost stories for the kids here – Roald Dahl’s Book of Ghost Stories

 

Any opportunity is exponentially meaningful when used to impart moral values to kids.  Let kids be open to the idea of starting new traditions. Partying and gratification aside, it is wonderful to use every chance we can to raise caring children who know how to celebrate responsibly. Wishing you you all wholesome and happy Halloween!
Read more on our book, Strong Roots Have No Fear, how to use every day moments to raise confident, global thought leaders.
Use Halloween To Impart Values To Kids | Raising World Children | Wholesome Halloween
Cyber Bullying

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullying

by with 6 Comments ContemporaryEmpowermentParentingVoices

Cyber Bullies. These types of people have always existed. I’m curious to know if you’ve ever been bullied? I was. The worst of it was back in middle school in the 1970s. In those days we still had outside time, in essence, it was recess. But none of us called it that… “Recess” always sounded so little kiddish. Out in the schoolyard there was a few girls who never liked me. I’m not sure why exactly, but aside from being called names, I was also punched and kicked quite often, for whatever reason.

If I knew the reason then, I certainly don’t remember it now.

Those experiences, even though I don’t recall the reasoning, very much shaped my life. It dramatically lowered my self esteem and it was the beginning of 40 years of falling for the wrong people. People who I allowed to treat me badly.

Talking About Bullying is Paramount

When I was young and getting bullied, I never told my parents and I told a teacher only once, because their advice was more than unhelpful. I was told to “toughen up and ignore them.” As it turns out, research today shows situations like telling the bully to stop and pretending it’s not happening can actually make the situation worse.

It may help your child to know that even grown ups can be cyber bullied and hopefully, in knowing this, it will help your child to be able to report it to you. As a matter of fact, there are many celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied, which, unfortunately, often forces them off of particular social media sites. Some of celebrities who’ve been cyber bullied are:

Ed Sheeran, singer:

In an interview, he made a comment in which Lady Gaga fans interpreted him as saying he disliked her. Those fans went on to say, what Ed calls, “very mean things that were ruining his day,” and were upsetting him very much. Very soon following, Lady Gaga made a statement in his defense. It turns out Ed decided not to quit the social media sites because he and his father had conversations there, but he stopped reading all the other posts.

Normandi Kordei : 

Fifth Harmony singer and you may know her from being a Dancing With the Stars contestant: Normandi was cyber bullied with comments saying things like she “isn’t black enough,” as well as many other racially charged comments. Normandi also says many people had said “some of the most rabid and disgusting” things about women’s bodies and hers in particular.

Zelda Williams:

Daughter of the late Robin Williams: After her father’s death, Zelda reports social media users verbally attacked her and even went so far as to send her photos of a dead man lying in a morgue who resembled her father.

Josh McDermitt.

Actor from the hit tv show, Walking Dead: Josh says that because of his character, Eugene’s role on the show, he received comments of extreme hatred toward him and even death threats. He says people were unable to differentiate between a character on television and Josh’s real life.

Rumer Willis,

Actress and daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: On the morning television show, Megyn Kelly Today, on September 27, 2017, Rumer talked openly about being cyber bullied.

What is Bullying? 

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC) defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior by another youth or group of youths involving an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm. A young person can be a perpetrator, a victim, or both.”

What’s missing in the above description is the fact that bullying occurs to people of any age. And today’s technology brings on another whole host of ways people are bullied. Cyber bullying. It’s so incredibly prominent and cyber bullying includes, not only bullying done through social media channels, but in using any electronic source, such as through text or via email as well.

It is very easy to write things to a person who simply is a name on the screen or at the other end of the line.

Understanding The Need To Be A Bully

One might think bullies have a strong sense of themselves, they probably feel superior and that bullies are just highly opinionated and mean people. What we may not know is bullies actually feel so bad about themselves that breaking someone else down is a way for them to attempt to make themselves feel superior.

It is difficult, perhaps, to look at it this way but bullies are very much hurting inside. I know, most bullies think it’s funny. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying we shouldn’t do everything in our power to stop bullying from occurring. As a matter of fact, research shows being bullied, as well as being a bully, can cause an increased risk of problems in their future, such as academic issues, substance abuse, violent behavior, as well as mental health problems. And both the bully and their victims have an increased risk of suicide. We need to provide empowered assistance to both the bullies and the bullied. 

Cyber Bullying 

Over 50% of teens have been cyber bullied… And only about 10% of those kids will talk to a parent about it. Something cyber bullies don’t keep in mind is there’s consequences. Once bullying comments are made online, it’s practically impossible to completely remove all its traces, which can affect the person doing the bullying for life, even if they’ve apologized to the other person.

These days, prospective colleges are searching online for these occurrences, as are employers. Bullies can face legal charges, and in the situation of “sexting” (which means transmitting naked or inappropriate words or photos), bullies can face the possibility of legally being a labeled as a sex offender.

My Experience as a Parent

My 11 year old son son wanted to play an online game his friends were playing called Runescape. He and I had a long discussion about the privileges and problems of what playing a game where people from all over the world and all ages are playing. It is a tender subject, but I explained about pedophiles by telling him about people posing as youngsters and how incredibly patient they are in order to cause you harm.

I told him these people will befriend you and wait to start asking personal type questions, like your real and full name, address, telephone number, email address and so much more. I told him the only “friends” on the game he was allowed to have were his personal friends from school.

We discussed his password and that I was the only other person who will know it and that I would be going on the game under his password to check up on him. (I also emphasized if there was ever a time I tried to get onto his game and he’d changed the password, he’d be grounded.) We also talked about cyber bullying and what he was to do if it happens (don’t respond, save the comment and tell me immediately).

And lastly, I explained that the only way he could play the game was that I would be playing the game as well. After our very long talk together, I actually drew up a contract and the not we talked about what signing a contract means.

What you can do:

1. Know what sites your child visits. Tell them you will be going onto their accounts. Tell them it’s your job, as a parent, to know what they’re doing and protect them.
2. Always know your child’s passwords.
3. Explain to them the privileges and safety measures that come with being online and having access to the sites you’re allowing them to visit.
4. Set up parental controls, but don’t rely on parental controls alone.
5. Add your children to your “friends” or “follow” lists.
6. Explain to them about cyber bullying and what they’re to do if it does happen (don’t respond, keep the message and tell you immediately.)
7. Block the bullies
8. If a friend of your child communicates to them that they’ve been being bullied in some way, encourage your child to tell you. Also tell your child to encourage their friend to tell their own parents, teachers or school counselors.
9. Always keep the lines of communication with your children open. In order to expect them to be open and honest with you, you also need to be open and honest with them. In sharing things with your children and risking some of your own vulnerabilities, you actually make them feel much more comfortable in sharing their vulnerabilities with you.

How To Talk To Kids About Cyber Bullies | Raising World Children | Bullies | Online Bullies | Protect Kids

 

Check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

Janie Saylor is a professional certified life coach with a degree in psychology, her focus is in the emerging field of positive psychology. Janie is the mom of two grown children, her son, age 20, and her daughter, age 24. In 2006, Janie published a book, “The Road You’ve Traveled, How to Journal Your Life,” which came from her experiences teaching life journaling to people over the age of 60 for 10+ years in many different communities in the Metro Detroit area. Janie’s used her experiences and education as she developed an 8-week online coaching program and has had tremendous success in improving the communication, lives and relationships of her clients. Janie enjoys uplifting others with positive posts and memes on her Facebook page, Become University. Janie calls it “Your Happy Place.”
Better Health With Healing Ingredients In Your Kitchen

Better Health With Healing Ingredients In Your Kitchen

by with 15 Comments ContemporaryFoodHeritageVoices

‘Popping a pill’ to feel better, seems like the easiest and quickest solution to treating an ailment.

A mild cough or a slight temperature is enough to make most people run to the doctor to get some prescribed antibiotics. *Ironically, frequent use of antibiotics can make the bacteria in our body more resistant to it, thus making the antibiotic useless in its treatment in the future.

Over-the-counter (OTC) medications are usually used in the treatment of allergies, headaches, body pain, cold, etc. However, these non-prescription medications come with their own side-effects like dizziness, nausea, bleeding and more.

From thousands of years ago, ingredients from our kitchens have been used to treat different illnesses and diseases. But these traditional remedies seem to have been forgotten, instead of passed on.

So here is a list of a few hidden gems in our kitchens that have miraculous healing properties.

Honey: The Best Antibiotic

Pure honey is proven to be very effective in killing germs that cause human diseases. Honey is the best natural remedy for treating throat infections, common colds and flu. **In addition, it is also used to treat infected wounds and burns, stomach ulcers and other ailments because it is alkaline in nature.

Black Seeds (Nigella Sativa): Healer of all Diseases except Death

Black seeds act as a natural immunity booster and can protect our body against various germs. When mixed with honey, it is effective in destroying bladder and kidney stones. It is often used in the treatment of diabetes, migraines, digestive problems, asthma and chronic eczema. Black seeds help regulate the menstrual cycle, hence it can be very helpful for women suffering from PCOD/PCOS. It also helps increase the flow of milk in lactating mothers.

Carom seeds/Ajwain: The Gut Healer

Carom seeds are the best cure for most stomach related problems like indigestion, flatulence, constipation, diarrhea and menstrual cramps. It is also a natural antacid and helps keep acidity and acid reflux at bay. Drinking a glass of warm water with soaked carom seeds on an empty stomach, aids in weight loss, as it is a metabolism booster.

Carom seeds are also very effective to treat cold, cough, flu, joint pains and arthritis naturally. Being an antioxidant, it purifies the blood and flushes out toxins from our body, thus giving us glowing skin. In new mothers, it aids in healing the uterus and increases the flow of milk too.

Flax seeds: A Natural ‘Wonder-Drug’ for Women

Flax seeds are a rich source of Omega 3 fatty acids and ‘LIGNAN’, which helps prevent breast cancer, balances hormones, maintains regularity of the menstrual cycle and reverses aging in our body. ***They are very helpful in treating PCOS/PCOD naturally. These nutritious seeds lower blood cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart attacks. Flax seeds are very high in fibre, thus they promote digestive health and reduce gut inflammation. They also help reduce the ‘dry eye’ syndrome.

Black Pepper: The ‘All-In-One’ – Antibiotic, Antioxidant, Anti-inflammation

Black pepper is considered to be the ‘king of spices.’ It is known to stimulate skin pigmentation and is used as a natural alternative in the treatment of the skin disease Vitiligo. Black pepper helps lower blood pressure, reduces inflammation and clears the nose and chest of congestion. It stimulates appetite, aids in weight loss and protects against premature aging. Black pepper is also known to be a natural diuretic.

Cinnamon: The Immunity Booster

Cinnamon has the highest source of antioxidants than any other spice. It is a great immunity booster and helps fight viruses that cause cold and flu. Cinnamon lowers blood sugar and helps fight diabetes. It also lowers swelling, reduces inflammation and aids in fat burning. Cinnamon can also be used as a natural mouth freshener.

Turmeric: The Inflammation Fighter

Turmeric contains ‘Curcumin’, which is a cancer-fighting compound that is proven to reduce the growth of cancerous cells. It helps fight chronic inflammation, which plays a major role in the cause of arthritis, Alzheimer’s, cancer and other degenerative diseases.

Vinegar: A Natural Cleanser

The safest way to consume fruits and vegetables is by rinsing them well and soaking them in a vinegar solution for 15-20 minutes. Vinegar helps get rid of any dirt and/or any residual pesticides. Unless you are growing your own fruits and vegetables, this is the best way to ensure that what goes into your mouth is safe and clean.

With the upcoming flu season, here are some great tips to beat the weather blues.

Raising World Children Cold and Flu Natural Relief

1. Fight the cold – roast some carom seeds/ajwain, put it in a sock and tie up. Inhale the vapors and keep it beside your pillow all night. The soothing aroma will fix your clogged/runny nose. This is by far the best natural remedy for babies and kids.

2. Battle the cold and cough – boil water with some turmeric (antibacterial), carom seeds, & a black tea bag (antioxidant). Once hot, add a teaspoon of VICKS vapor rub and mix. Sit on the floor for inhaling as this is the safest with hot water. Cover your head and the vessel with a thick towel, and inhale for at least 10-15 minutes. To treat babies and toddlers, boil and keep the vessel in the room where they sleep. The vapours will help the child breathe smoothly.

3. Cough relief –  make a honey-ginger syrup with freshly extracted ginger juice, some finely grated ginger and honey. Add this syrup to hot water and drink often.

4. When you get the flu, start your day with a cup of warm water infused with honey, black pepper, turmeric and cinnamon. All the above ingredients have antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties.

Wishing good health and happiness to everyone!

 

References:-

*www.kidshealth.org

**Islamic Medicine, Yusuf Al-Hajj Ahmad

***www.fertilitychef.com

Minali Bajaj-Syed is an Indian, born and settled in Kuwait. Having lived in Kuwait, India and the United States, I have had the opportunity to experience a diverse set of cultures. Thus, I consider myself as a global citizen. I am always learning, evolving and trying to spread some positivity. On most days, I am a mother to two kids and a food blogger on Instagram @cinnamon_cardamom.
Here's What To Do When Your Kid Is A Bully

Here’s What To Do When Your Kid Is A Bully

by with 10 Comments ContemporaryParentingVoices

Bullying is never acceptable in a society where each and every human being is entitled to respectful treatment. When hearing the word “Bully” most of you think of the words like “being mean, disrespectful, low self-esteem, threatening, taunting, beating and verbally or physically abusing.

It is a significant issue that affects people of all ages and can take many different forms. But, it takes a serious turn when it happens among kids, more importantly younger grades. Kids getting bullied is a sensitive issue and no parents want their child to be bullied.

No matter what else is going on, the fear of your kid might be picked on by a bully never leaves. Imagining your kid getting hurt by a group or a single person can be heartbreaking.

But, what if a parent approaches you and complains about your kid for bullying their kid? It would be the one scenario you never imagined.

Acknowledging the fact that your kid is a bully can be distressing. It can be a mixture of shock, fear, embarrassment, and disbelief. The first and foremost response from you would be “I know my kid, she would never hurt anyone”.

The truth, sadly is no parent knows their kid hundred percent.  You might not know how to handle the situation or deal with your kid’s mental health. Following some of the below tips can help you overcome this tough path without creating any war.

Handling The Parents of Bully-Victims:

Most crucial part of an incident is handling the parents of the kids who got bullied. When a mom or dad approach you stating that your kid bullied their kid, you would normally get defensive.

You would speak for your kid because you didn’t see it coming. But, it is a wrong way to treat a parent and it does no good for your kid too. Hearing a negative thing about your kid will be devastating but you should stay strong to deal the situation in a better way.

What should you do?

  • Take a deep breath and let them know you understand the seriousness of the issue.
  • Acknowledge the matter.
  • Convey your apology.
  • Let them know you will try to resolve the issue but before you need to hear the other side of the story from your kid. Make sure no one is hurt by doing it gently.

Analyzing The Situation and Dealing With It:

The fear of “your kid may be bullied one day” has turned upside down. Hearing the different truth which you never imagined makes you feel stupid.

The confidence of “I know my kid” has taken a beating. You might feel a heaviness in your heart which urges you to corner your kid and inquire about the bully situation. But, never do that. Instead, approach your kid and make sure he is well fed. Make him feel relax and calm and sit with your kid. Speak in a firm tone and ask him what happened and why he behaved in a certain way.

Assure your kid that you are not being judgmental and ready to listen to his side of the story. Once he explains don’t load him with pieces of advice which is of no use here. Instead, ask him questions in a polite way which gives him some time to realize the mistakes. For instance, ask him ” Do you think what you did is right?”, Is the way you behaved is respectful?” , “Will it be ok if you are treated in the same way?”

Emphasize the discussion by teaching him the fair treatment and respectful deeds. Doing this way you can prevent the bullying attitude in the initial stages.

What If The Bullying Is No More In The Initial Phase:

Unfortunately, many parents are not aware of bullying incidents until or unless it seeks serious attention. So, what if you are in no place to prevent it in the earlier stage?

It’s very important to remember that children who bully are still children. Without any proper help and guidance, they could never understand what is happening to them. It’s our responsibility to care and treat them in an appropriate way. Taking note of bullying habits, victimized behavior and following the below tips can be helpful for early intervention.

To stop them from not bullying other kids:

  • Never call your kid a “Bully”. Parents addressing their own kids as bully causes more reasons to act in a weird way.
  • It’s important that you communicate with the school and consider what issues, either at home or school, could be contributing to your kid’s bullying behavior.
  • Try role-playing with different scenarios to teach your child how to treat others with respect and kindness.
  • Encourage good behavior and keep a reward system in place. Books can be a great reward idea. Never use monetary gifts for rewarding kids.
  • Get to know your kid’s social life, friends and other persons they spend time with. Make sure there are no people with inappropriate behavior. Bad role models with anger issues and superiority attitude can be a bad influence.
  • Look for changes in habit, behavior, physical and mental health like constant anxiety, loss of self-confidence, skipping meals, fake health complaints etc.
  • When a situation is out of your hand don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are many bullying prevention programs in schools which could be of great help. Counseling and therapy can also be a better option.
  • Never discipline your kid by constantly belittling them. Enforcing rules with a heavy hand is not the right way to treat your kid.

It is certain that you need to find the root of the behavioral problem. Provide the proper care to make your kid realize that bullying is not acceptable anywhere and anytime! Has your child ever been accused of being a bully? What steps would you suggest to other parents?

What To Do When My Kids Is a Bully Raising World Children | Parenting | Bullies | Parenting Tips | Family

 

Make sure to check out this resource on bullying – https://www.drugrehab.com/guides/bullying/

 Suja Dinesh Raising World children Sindhuja Kumar is a proud mom and a lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut, USA and origin from Tamilnadu, India. She is happily married and nothing excites her more than being a mom. She blogs to keep herself sane, more or less writing about positive parenting adventures, DIY Craft tutorials & scrumptious recipes that empowers every mom and woman to stay inspired and living an elegant life in a creative way. Check her work @ PassionateMoms.
Celebrating Different Colors of Rangoli This Diwali

Celebrating Different Colors of Rangoli This Diwali

by with One Comment festivalsHeritageVoices

No Diwali is complete without the beautiful Rangoli adorning your home. Be it in with powder, side walk chalk or playdough. Rangoli brings many colors together to form a very unique design. Similarly, people from around the world rejoice together every Diwali lighting up their homes, creating intricate designs, celebrating with delicious fare and paying homage to age old traditions passed on from generation to generation.

Rangoli - Diwali Reasons - Raising World Children Ankur Avashti Patel
©Ankur Avasthi Patel

Diwali is essentially a series of five days –

1. Dhanteras.
2. Choti Diwali or Naraka Chaturdasi.
3. Badi Diwali or Laxmi Puja.
4. Naya Saal or New Year.
5. Bhai Dooj.

Home made Diyas
Home made Diyas

 

People traditionally buy silver/gold/new utensils for the kitchen. Hang up the toran (door decor) and create the rangoli.  Light Diyas outside your house. Choti Diwali and Badi Diwali are the actual Diwali days on which you pray  for well being and prosperity of your family.

Badi Diwali is the last day of the Hindu calendar and thus specially auspicious. Naya Saal is when you wish all your near and dear ones a very Happy New Year as the new Hindu year begins. Bhai Dooj is a day for siblings to grow close as we cherish their love and pray for their well being.

The Varied Shades Of Diwali : Different Origins One Celebration

 

India is a land of many languages and sub cultures. Diwali, originally known as Deepavali is celebrated by Indians all over the world and for different reasons.

North India

Every mythological story Diwali is derived from teaches that good will always triumph over evil.

In the Ramayan, when Lord Ram returned home, the city was lit up with diyas and the people rejoiced as the prodigal son returned home.

Lord Ram, the most beloved prince and son is sent to exile by his father because of a promise he made to one of his wives (granting any two wishes when she wants). Laxman, his devoted brother chooses to go on exile with his brother and sister in law Sita. After years of hardships, Sita one day sees a deer she desires and on her behest Sri Ram and Laxman go after it. She consequently gets kidnapped by Raavan when she crosses the Laxman rekha (a spellbound line made outside their home to keep her safe by her brother in law). Ram and Laxman slay Raavan, saving her with the help of Hanuman an ardent devotee of Sri Ram. They all come back home to Ayodhya (on Diwali) among great pomp and show only to send her into exile all on her own when a citizen of the city raises a question of her purity after living with Raavan for so many years. She goes into the forest where she brings up her two sons. After years, when his sons cross his path in battle, Lord Ram goes back to bring his wife home. She in turn chooses to go back to Mother Earth instead.

Kavitha Dhawan

South India

In South India, Lord Krishna slaying Narakasura. Narakasura was a demon drunk with power stole the earrings of Aditi (mother of all Devas) and kidnapped 16000 women. The Devas were unable to stop him and so they went to Lord Vishnu to reincarnate as Krishna, so as to destroy the evil demon and save the women.

Marwaris and Gujratis

Diwali is the new year time for Marwaris and Gujaratis.  This is when the merchants close the accounts of the old year and pray to the goddess of wealth that the new year should open with even bigger increase of trade.  Kali Chaudas is devoted to the worship of Maha-Kali or Shakti as this is the day Kali killed the wicked Raktavija. Also referred to as Narak-Chaturdashi, Kali Chaudas is the day to abolish laziness and evil. Thus, many regions pray to Goddess Laxmi (giver of weath) on this day.

Jainism 

To the Jains it marks the day after Lord Mahavira attained nirvana. He was released from his worldly body on the night of the full moon. So the people of Pavapuri, where he attained nirvana, lit lamps in their doorways as a symbol of their guru’s enlightenment.

Sikhism

This day for Sikhs celebrates the release of Guru Hargobindji along with 52 Indian kings who were imprisoned along with him at the Gwalior fort by Emperor Shah Jahan in 1619. This day is thus also known as Bandi Chorr Diwas (meaning the day of freedom).

Nepal

Diwali is also celebrated in Nepal and the Indian states of Assam, Sikkim and Darjeeling in West Bengal. The five-day festival in these places is considered to be of great importance as it shows reverence to not just the humans and the Gods, but also to the animals like crows, cows and dogs who maintain an intense relationship with humans.

Celebrating DIfferent Colors oF Rangoli This Diwali - Different Reasons For Significance of Diwali Origin

So what is it that all these origin stories teach kids ? 

  • Love your family.
  • Respect those you care about.
  • Listen to your parents.
  • Support your loved ones always.
  • Stand by what is right.
  • Freedom is a birth right.
  • Choices have consequences.
  • Women should be nurtured.
  • Every woman has a right to make her own choices.
  • Above all, be loyal.

Do Not –

  • Think ill of others.
  • Let ego get in the way of your relationships.
  • Disrespect those you care about.
  • Make decisions in haste.
  • Be selfish or greedy.
  • Pay heed to the negative voices.

 

© Aditi W. Singh

Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. In her spare time she volunteers for Circle of Peace International and impromptu dance parties with her little one are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in an upcoming Anthology 100+MomsOneJourney as well.