Featured Guest, Author at Raising World Children

Why it Matters if Your Child is Twice Exceptional

Every parent believes their child is exceptional in one way or the other, but parents of children who are twice exceptional may not always embrace this double label.

What is Twice Exceptional?

Twice exceptional (2E), children are different from the ‘norm’ in two ways. They are gifted in one area, while they have a disability in another area. For example, a child who is gifted visual spatial and in math, but has Dysgraphia so struggles with writing. Alternatively, a child who is gifted creatively but has ADHD and struggles to complete tasks.

For a child to be labeled as gifted, he must have specific scores on intelligence or aptitude tests. A score over 130 IQ in a sub-test of an IQ test, or score 92nd percentile or above in a subject area on a standardized test, would qualify as gifted. For a child to be labeled with a disability, he must have a condition that hampers one or more aspects of daily life. This could be a learning disability, physical disability or psychological disability. In some way his disability affects his ability to learn in school.

If you are a parent of a twice exceptional child, it is very important to recognize the challenges these children face often go unrecognized by the schools. You must understand this so you can be an advocate for your child.

[bctt tweet=”Do you know if your child is Twice Exceptional? #parenting #kids #education” username=”contactrwc”]

7 School Challenges Twice Exceptional Children Face

1. Performance Discrepancy

There is often a significant difference in a twice exceptional child’s capabilities and how they perform in school. In other words, because of their disability, they perform below their ability level. If they are gifted and perform average, their disability may not be recognized because their grades may be on par with the average student in the class.

2. Good at Compensating

Twice exceptional children are often very bright and resourceful, and they can use their strengths to compensate for their weaknesses. For example, if a child struggles with spelling but he is gifted visual spatial, he can memorize words for a spelling test by seeing them as pictures. Ask him a week later and he won’t be able to spell any of them. Many times these children aren’t diagnosed until high school or college when the curriculum gets so difficult they can no longer find a way to compensate.

3. Denied Services Because of Good Grades

This is a common theme I see as a special education advocate. These children do well in school, and because their grades are fine the school says it does not have to provide support. The Little/Felton letter from the Office of Special Education (OSE) clearly states that students do not have to fail classes to receive services. Despite this, parents will often have to strongly advocate to get their very smart child help for a learning disability.

4. The Child Feels Very Different

All children want to fit in with their peers, and with one difference a child can feel awkward and left out. With two differences, twice exceptional children often find it very difficult to bridge the gap between themselves and their peers. It is important to find interests your child shares with peers, or to seek out peers with similar gifts as your own child.

5. The Child Lacks Persistence

Gifted children can struggle with tasks that are hard because so much of what they do comes very easily. When faced with a challenge, they may give up. They are not used to failing and trying again. At school they may have subjects that are really easy, and other subjects that are too hard. They rarely have schoolwork that is the right level of difficulty for their abilities.

6. People See the Child as Lazy

Adults see the brilliance in the child and they do not realize the child is having difficulty. As a result, instead they label the child as resistant or lazy, insisting they are not trying hard enough. This makes it even more difficult for the child to ask for help because any time they reach out they are just told they are not putting in good effort.

7. Our Educational System Fails 2E Kids

There are few educational methods that help twice exceptional children flourish in the academic environment. Parents have to pick up the slack by engaging the student with after school activities or supplementing instruction with additional curriculum. Many parents will move their children from school to school in an effort to find a good fit, but this is rarely found in public schools. There are private schools that cater specifically to 2E children, but there are few of them and they are usually cost prohibitive for the majority of families.

[bctt tweet=”The many school challenges Twice Exceptional students face and how to better support them. #school #education #kids” username=”contactrwc”]

6 Ways to Support Your Twice Exceptional Child

1. Advocate for Your Child

If you see your child struggling, it is important to investigate what is causing the difficulty. If you believe your child may have an underlying disability, it is important that you advocate for your child, even when ‘experts’ tell you that you are wrong.

2. Focus on the Giftedness

Research has shown that if you focus on the child’s gifts first, not the disability, in the long run it will lead to higher self-confidence (Nielsen & Mortoff, Albert, 1989). So it is important to make the giftedness the primary topic of the child, rather than the difficulties. Focus on strengths, not weaknesses. Help the child understand that everybody has difficulties, and these problems are not unique to him.

3. Find 2E Parent Support Groups

Find a parent of 2E children support group that will give you a forum to ask questions and receive advice. Many parents are struggling to parent 2E children and connecting with them will help you feel less alone. My two favorite Facebook groups are Parents of 2E Children and Raising Poppies.

4. Educate Teachers & Professionals

It is very common in the schools to focus on what the child is doing wrong rather than right. Helping the teachers and other school personnel understand the struggles of a 2E child can go a long way to ensuring your child gets the right support at school. The same is true for doctors, psychologists or other professionals who work with your child. They may see the giftedness and assume the challenges are resistance or laziness. Help them understand how the disability affects the child’s performance, and help them see that it is not a behavior problem.

5. Help Your Child Manage Stress

Twice exceptional kids endure a lot of stress and pressure. Some comes from peers making fun of their brilliance, other stuff comes from their sense of failure when they cannot perform tasks that seem easy for peers. These children also feel a lot of pressure to be super successful because they do have super strengths. They really struggle with fear of failure if their disability significantly affects their ability to perform in school. So help your child talk about this stress, and teach her skills to help her manage this anxiety or sense of overload.

6. Find Like Minded Peers

2E children often suffer socially because they feel so different from the other students. It is important to be proactive about finding like-minded peers who share common interests and enjoy the same activities. You might encourage your child to join certain clubs at school. You might seek out special interest activities outside of school. If you can find at least one place where your child feels at home, that can go a long way in helping your child manage the other difficulties he encounters in life.

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Bonnie Landau Raising World Children - Where Cultures Meet Parenting

Bonnie is a special education advocate and parenting coach. She works with parents to help them get the right support in school as well as finding the solutions outside of school that help their child improve their learning challenges. She is a mom to two boys, both with some learning issues, although the oldest was severely delayed. He is now an honor student !

Baltic Amber: A Solution To Teething Without Pharmaceuticals

In a world that, in Western culture, has been largely dominated by a medical philosophy of quick-fix, immediate-gratification, symptom-masking pharmaceutical intervention, is there another way to help our kids more effectively experience developmental stages?

To recognize that sometimes pain leads to growth, yet to also offer easing of that pain to help them through? To recognize that they are stronger than they think, but that it is also a good thing to ask for help when they need it? Do all of these philosophical questions really have anything at all to do with teething?

Babies And Teething

Arguably, yes. Our children absorb their beliefs and approaches to the world from the very beginning, and how we teach them to overcome obstacles at tender young ages impacts how they will continue to approach difficulties in life. Teething is such a monumental obstacle for little ones that it is important as parents to determine to walk through it with our children; lending appropriate assistance without telling them they can’t handle it. It is here that our choices for symptom management matter.

If fear, convenience, and essentially putting them to sleep with pharmaceuticals so that they don’t feel the pain of the process is our response, it will become theirs as they grow, as well. If, however, compassion, assistance, and pain management that enables them to continue to play, learn, and grow, is our response, they will learn that pain is not their master and does not need to steal their days away. While it may not be fun, it is also not something that must be escaped at all cost.

What then, are the non-pharmaceutical options for a parent with a teething child and all that entails? How do we soothe their swollen, angry gum tissues, keep their drooling – caused by those swollen tissues – to a minimum, and alleviate the pain that has them crying for comfort?

Solutions to Teething

The age-old answer has simply been chew toys. From knotted rags to chilled plastics, aching little ones have been offered the relief of counter-pressure to ease them through this stage. Recently, however, another centuries-old remedy for arthritis has been found to have great effectiveness in soothing teething symptoms while allowing the child to remain alert and happy throughout the day, and therefore able to maintain somewhat normal sleeping routines at night.

That Old-World European remedy: Baltic Amber. This seemingly simple, naturally-occurring tree resin, found exclusively in Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, holds complex properties that are useful to the process of teething. When this amber is warmed, it releases a substance called “succinic acid.” Succinic acid – which is also found in small quantities in the human body – is an effective analgesic (pain reliever) and anti-inflammatory (swelling reducer).

Because it is already present in the body, there is no difficulty with processing it; the body knows exactly how to use the bloodstream to deliver it to the affected parts, and any excess is promptly eliminated. There is no harmful build-up, no overdose risk, no side-effects, and no drug interactions. The soothing effects are easily and naturally applied, and the teething child is free to continue about his/her day.

[bctt tweet=”A natural solution to teething without using pharmaceuticals is worth trying out. ” username=”contactrwc”]

The delivery system for this approach to pain and inflammation relief is as drama-free as the succinic acid’s effects. No forcing liquid or pills into a child who wants no part of it. Because the succinic acid is released from the Baltic amber by warmth, the Baltic amber is fashioned into a teething necklace of smooth, individually-knotted beads worn against baby’s skin under their clothing. Check out Baltic Amber teething necklaces – www.balticwonder.com/

This not only warms the amber and allows the skin to absorb the released healing acid, it also keeps the necklace out of baby’s notice and grasp. As long as the necklace is worn, the soothing effects are delivered. Almost completely without calling baby’s attention, angry gums will be soothed, drooling will reduce, pain will diminish. Make sure to not go for fake necklaces.

Suddenly a painful transitional process will become an endurable, minimally-invasive stage of growth with exciting new adventures to celebrate at the end of it.

As parents, it is our job to not only ease our children’s pain, but also to train them in how to grow throughout life. Our choices in every challenge will help to shape their responses to the challenges they will face. Baltic amber offers an opportunity to meet the challenge of teething with determination and compassion, rather than fear and escapism.

Jenn Sanders currently works as a marketing assistant at Baltic Wonder, a company that is dedicated to the health and well-being of infants. Outside of work, she enjoys spending time with her family and outdoor adventures.

How To Help Your Child Adapt To Hearing Aids

When a child gets hearing aids it is a big step that can be a difficult transition. Remembering to put them in, feeling confident around peers, and feeling pride in who they are can all be a new challenge for your child. Even with all of the resources available, it is important to take steps at home to empower your child.

Start Early

Make an effort to get your child excited about her new hearing aids before she gets them. Talk about how much fun she’ll have when she can hear her friends or her favorite cartoons. Make hearing aids sound exciting and useful. Always answer your child’s hearing aid questions honestly, but be as positive as possible.

Choosing an audiologist who frequently works with children helps, as well. These specialists are practiced at performing hearing tests, making ear molds and performing other tasks in a way that won’t upset your little one.

Set a Schedule

At first, wearing hearing aids may feel foreign and uncomfortable. You child’s instinct will be to remove the offending item, especially if he is too young to understand why his hearing aid is important. To help him adjust, set a schedule and put the hearing aid on him at the same time every day. If he pulls it off, be gentle but firm about putting it back on.

If your child is old enough, negotiate a schedule that allows for breaks. You may, for example, agree that the hearing aid must stay on during school hours but may be removed for an hour or two after school.

Move Slowly

Remember that your child has been hearing only a muted version of the world, even while in noisy places. She needs time to adjust to not only the feel of the hearing aid but to the sensory input it provides. Move slowly when getting her used to loud environments, as even quiet ones may seem loud to her. Start in a quiet place with minimal noises and work the child up to busier environments a bit at a time.

Remember Your Audiologist

Different children may encounter different obstacles when adjusting to a hearing aid. If yours is struggling and you’re unsure how best to help, call your audiologist. You probably never attempted to get a child to wear a hearing aid before, but your audiologist has, like Whisper Hearing Centers.

Don’t hesitate to turn to the professionals if you find yourself struggling. A hearing aid doesn’t help anyone if it isn’t worn, so use all of the resources available to you when helping your child adjust.

While getting your child used to her new hearing aid, remember to maintain a sense of normalcy. Keep your usual schedule and allow your child to do all of the things he normally does. Soon putting on the hearing aid will simply become part of the routine.

With a little patience and perseverance, your child will get so comfortable with his hearing aid that he will forget it’s even there.

What tips would you add to this? Leave in comments below so other parents can learn how to assist the transition.

Emma Sturgis is a freelance writer currently living in Boston, MA. She writes most often on education and business. To see more from Emma, say hi on Twitter @EmmaSturgis2

Growing Up A Vegetarian In A Meat Eating Family

As a young child, I ate what the rest of my family ate which included meat. I didn’t love meat, but I ate as my family ate; until one day when I was told what meat really was and from that point on, I began growing vegetarian in a meat-eating family.

Some kids go through a shock phase when they realize meat is animal muscle, and most just shrug it off and go on eating it. Other kids may be slow to revisit eating meat once they know, and then there are kids like me who struggled to push meat into their mouths after finding out how it got to the table.

Why I Became Vegetarian

I can tell you the exact moment I fully realized what meat was and where it came from. I was in fifth grade and we had friends over to the house. We were having ground beef tacos and I casually asked what meat was to no one in particular.

My mom’s friend looked at me incredulously. “Why it’s animal muscle,” she said with a nod of her head.

My mother looked up from her mixing bowl on the counter and sharply said, “Don’t tell her that!” She gave her friend the look.

I shrugged because I didn’t know what else to do. They thought I was fine with it.

But, I wasn’t fine.

As a child, from that point on, eating meat was a giant struggle for me. My feeling was that if I ate the animal’s muscle, I was stealing from it. I didn’t want to steal its life, I loved animals too much to do that.

The other contributing factor to my emerging vegetarianism was my issues with the texture of meat, especially pork and even ground beef.

I attempted, very poorly, to eat meat for the next three years, but became a full vegetarian in eighth grade. It was a slow progression for me and pork was the first to go, beef next, then chicken, then turkey, and lastly, I gave up fish.

My Journey Growing Vegetarian in a Meat Eating Family

It was not easy being a child vegetarian in a meat-eating family. My dad would ask me at every dinner meal for many years if I wanted the meat. He couldn’t accept my vegetarianism.

He continued to pass the meat platter to me, but I always declined it!

My mother on the other hand reluctantly accepted my meatless diet, but as a mom and a nurse, she struggled with fears that I would not get enough protein.

My mother would frequently voice her concerns about what to make for me. I had committed her to the mom life sentence of a short-order cook with my dietary change, so I bought her a skinny paperback vegetarian cookbook. I was so proud of my plan because I knew it would relieve some stress for her by giving her some ideas of what to make for me.

Dairy products were my savior as a child. I felt they were okay to eat because they weren’t a part of the animal, but a by-product. I was ok with that so I became a full-fledged lacto-ovo vegetarian by consuming dairy products.

My dad was always bothered by my second glass of milk at dinner and I always heard my mom shush him as I headed to the fridge to fill up my cup mid-meal. She knew I needed protein and she didn’t want me to be malnourished, so she encouraged my milk drinking.

It was hard for me as a child to eat something different than everyone else around me. I grew up in the Midwest where our town was surrounded by farms. Not eating meat was a huge culture deviation, and I was the unlucky deviant having to explain myself to everyone around me. It was unheard of to not take the meat as most people viewed it as the only important part of the meal and the rest was fluff.

The fluff was exactly what I wanted of the meal; I wanted the vegetables, the bread, the nuts, the fruit, the eggs, and the cheese. I didn’t like the texture of tofu so that was not an option for me, plus I didn’t love beans. They weren’t the right texture for me either.

Eating Out

Going out to eat was a challenge and going to parties was difficult too because meat consumption was integral to the community. We all talk about what we will eat and when we will eat it. Food is mega important to all cultures and unfortunately, I was the outcast in my childhood food culture, and a voluntary one at that.

Everyone seemed obsessed with what I would eat all the time. It was a constant topic of conversation that seemed unnecessary to me and I didn’t like the limelight. No one ever made a big deal about someone not eating the lettuce or potato salad, but my not eating the burger at grilling parties, well, that needed to be talked about, commented on, and sometimes even ridiculed.

As a child, I never judged the meat-eaters, so I constantly wondered why they judged me.

Being treated that way taught me not to judge others and to respect that everyone has the right to make their own choices. I developed a deep respect for freedom of choice which also taught me tolerance.

My mother never forced me to eat meat, which I was always thankful for, so I’ve come to parent my own children the same way. I let them choose and offer healthy alternatives if they don’t want a part of the meal.

As an adult, I’m still the one who is different because most people in my region do eat meat. However, I’ve learned so many ways to compensate, modify, and survive that it has become normal to me to be different.

Mine is not a deviant way of life; it is my norm.

Are you are vegetarian? What are your struggles?

About my cookbook:

I married a man who eats meat and my children eat meat, so I began making recipes I call hybrid recipes where there is a meatless and a meat-containing portion to the meal to feed us all from one recipe. It’s easy, it’s just a matter of being mindful while cooking.

I began to realize there are more families like mine out in the world who are composed of members with different diets. This brought me to create my cookbook to help families like mine who are composed of vegetarians and meat-eaters. I also wrote the book to help parents of children who either are vegetarian or who are considering vegetarianism. I sincerely hope my book helps families have more enjoyable and smoother meals together.

Julie Hoag is a writer and blogger. She is a wife and mother with a history working as an RN prior to being a SAHM. She is honored to be published on the Huffington Post, Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, The Mighty, Perfection Pending, Manifest Station, Sammiches & Psych Meds, and more in addition to her own blog juliehoagwriter, where she writes about family/motherhood/kids, recipes, family travel, DIY, and pets.

7 Ways To Make Your Teenager Money Smart

You don’t want your teens to make the same mistakes you did with money?

I can relate. I was horrible with money growing up and I don’t want my children to make similar mistakes.

That’s why it falls on us parents to teach our children to be financially responsible people. I firmly believe that you lay the foundation of good sense with money early. Then it blooms for real when your children become teenagers.

Teaching teens about money and finances aren’t very different from teaching adults about the same subject. However, age does play a major part, in certain aspects. For instance, the amount of money they have.

In this article, I go through the seven things I think are most important when it comes to raising financially responsible teens.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t let your kids make the same money mistakes you made. Raise financially responsible teens so they grow into money smart adults!” username=”contactrwc”]

Teach Them Financial Literacy Early

The earlier you can start, the better, is my philosophy. Let me make a parallel, our daughter is 2 and a half years old. She’s talking quite a lot. In three languages.

My wife is from Catalonia, so our daughter has that as a second mother tongue. She speaks Swedish primarily, since that’s where we live, and we also use English a lot at home to help make that easier for her later on too.

Why did I tell that then, since it doesn’t relate to money at all, you might ask? Apart from me being so proud of my daughter I also want to make a point.

We began speaking to her in different languages when she was born. She had it with her from the start. It comes to her much easier now because of that.

I don’t mean that you should sit down with your six-month-old child and try to make a budget.

But I do mean that you should start to talk about money as soon as your child seems to show an interest. I generally think it’s a good idea to involve your children in the family’s finances as soon as it’s possible too.

It could be that you invite your children to the weekly budget meeting. Eat something, talk about money and your finances. Make it fun. It’s hard to say how old your kid should be when you do this since it’s also very connected to interest.

Involving your children like this is mainly to give an idea of finances on a slightly larger scale than the child’s own finances. This could also, as a benefit, lead to the child participating more in the family affairs as a whole.

The plan is that the conversations and actions about money and finances lead to an internalized idea in your child. If you hit up Google on the word internalization, you get Wikipedia’s explanation:

“[..] internalization describes the psychological outcome of a conscious mind reasoning about a specific subject; the subject is internalized, and the consideration of the subject is internal.”

Meaning, that your child will then have an internal consideration of the subject. Or, a feeling of what’s “good and bad” about the choices.

This is a theoretical practice of how to teach your children about finances. Of course, there are more practical tools and ideas too.

Work For The Money

There are people who say that you can never value things you get for free. Even though I don’t agree with this wholeheartedly, I do believe there’s truth in that statement.

Especially when it comes to free money.

I’m all for helping your children with getting some spending money, but I don’t believe in an allowance without any effort on their part.

That said though, I don’t want you to think that I’m preaching that you should pay your children to help around the house.

I generally say that a family should function as a small business where everyone does their part. Because of this, you get an allowance. Since you do what’s expected of you. Much like it is with a salary.

You can let your children help around the house with things early on and in return give them some money each week or month.

When they get older, encourage them to get an actual job. It’s a different kind of responsibility to work for someone outside the family.

And it feels different to get an actual paycheck instead of an allowance.

Make Them Live On What They Make

We’re suckers as parents. Because we love our children and we want what’s best for them at all times.

When our children come and ask us for more money, because they’ve accidentally spent their money on the latest hyped thing, like a golden fidget spinner, we want to help them. It’s instinct.

I’m asking you to resist that instinct. You’ll feel evil and harsh. I promise.

But you want to raise an independent kid that doesn’t need to borrow money at the end of every month. Oh, and who never returns the borrowed money.

Teach your children that they have to learn to live off the money they make. If that’s an allowance or a salary doesn’t matter. This is to teach the basic mindset of economizing.

It’s my personal belief that if you give free money to your children all the time, they might think that it’s ok to also get “free” money from other places. Like credit cards.

The best way to learn to economize with your money is by budgeting.

Budget To Make It Last

It feels like that a budget is the go-to multitool for personal finances. It works for everything.

That’s not true though, but a budget is a great tool that can, in fact, help in different problematic situations with finances. It’s also easy to use and set up.

In its simplest form, you only need a pen and a paper. And a ruler if you want to be fancy.

But nowadays, when do teens use pen and paper? Use a spreadsheet instead and make them feel like we’re in the right century at least.

Most teens don’t know how to set up a budget and what to consider when they do. So it falls on you, as a parent to help them. Teach them the basics of what a budget is and how they should think about budgeting.

Help them set up the categories and the basics of tracking the money. But let them do the continuous work with their budget.

If you don’t know how to set up a budget, there are places on the internet that teach you how to budget for free. Like my ecourse in budgeting, for instance.

I always argue that for a budget to be successful, all money that comes in needs to be accounted for in the budget. There shouldn’t be any money that isn’t assigned to a place in the budget.

Your teen shouldn’t have any “free-floating” money in their finances. Free floating will lead to free spending.

Avoid that.

Save What You Have Left

As your teen gets their budget set up, listing all the expenses and money they want to spend on fun stuff, they will see how much they have left each month.

As you’ve done the groundwork when your child was growing up, as teens, they want to save the money. Right?

The free-floating money from the previous headline comes into play here. If your teen had more money coming in than he or she had going out when you set up the budget, put it in savings.

It doesn’t matter how much money it is. Even if it’s a dollar, it’s better to save it than to spend it on things that you don’t need.

Save With a Purpose

We all know how hard it can be to save only for the sake of saving. I know that I didn’t understand the purpose of that when I was growing up.

I once set a goal to save for a speedway motorcycle, though, since I wanted to try that as a teen. I got some money saved up then I understood that speedway wasn’t for me. So, I robbed my piggy bank and use the money for useless stuff.

What I mean with saving with a purpose is to have goals. If you’re familiar with goal setting, you might understand what the previous paragraph was about too.

When your teen sets a goal for their savings, or finances as a whole, help them with making them realistic.

In fact, there’s a popular goal-setting strategy called SMART-goals. You might have heard of it, but I will explain it here.

SMART is an acronym of:

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely

Most of those are self-explanatory but let’s look at it a bit more anyway. Let’s say your teen wants to save money for a car. That’s not very specific. Decide what model, color, and year.

To make that measurable, you need to find a price for a car like that. The cost is the measure of how much to save.

Is it a brand new Tesla your teen wants to get? Then that might not be very attainable (at least not within a reasonable time) unless he or she makes loads of money. It might not, because of the same reason, be realistic either.

A used Honda Civic from 2005 on the other hand, for instance, might be more doable.

Timely means to set a time when to achieve the goal. Calculate how much your teen can save each month, divide the price by that and you’ll have a ballpark time frame.

Setting goals in finances are always a good practice since it will help you save with intention. This will also be something that helps your teen later in life.

Download our Our Goal Setting Template Here.

Bonus Round: Invest

Since you’re raising such money-smart children, they will also learn the power of investing and compound interest. Because of that, they will want to start investing early on.

I will try to explain compound interest quickly here, but it will be an explanation that’s lacking.

The idea of compound interest is to get interest on your interest. You get this kind of interest since you reinvest the interest and earn interest on that as well. Does that make sense? It means you make your money work for you, instead of you working for it.

The first years of investment can be quite slow, but once it picks up pace, it’s like the snowball effect. This means that if your teen starts investing early, they can end up rather rich later on.

If you want a more technical and deep explanation of compound interest, I suggest Investopedias article on it.

There are also cool compound interest calculators you can use for free on the internet to see what effects it can have.

You might not be comfortable with giving your teen advice on how to invest. There are professionals that can help you with this though and it might be a good idea to talk to a professional financial advisor.

How do you teach Your children?

There are many ways to teach children and teens about money and finances to make them money smart later in life. How do you do it, what is your philosophy?

Anders is a Swede with a love for personal finances, but not only the money part. He believes in a balance in all areas of life and that’s why his writing brushes on our society’s and our mind’s effect on our financial situation.

Valentine’s Day Themed Art By Kids

We bring to you beautiful pieces of art by kids of Mayur studio who under the watchful eye of Neelima Ganta create masterful strokes in art.

Neelima Ganta is the Owner and Artist of Mayur art studio. She enjoys painting with Acrylics and passing on the tradition of color to her students so they can carry a love for the arts within them.

Each student has created an imaginative piece around the theme of Valentines day showing that love translates differently for different eyes.

You can check out more Neelima’s work on on the website for her studio – Mayur Studio . She is open to creating new pieces and selling commissioned art as well as teaching your child to create their next masterpiece.

Don’t forget to send your child’s creation to us at contact@localhost. Submission guidelines can be found here.

Teach Your Kids To Accentuate The Positive

Do you remember the old song written by Johnny Mercer and performed by Bing Crosby?

You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

Maybe Mercer had the right idea. Maybe focusing on the positive would help us be more effective parents, better friends, and happier people overall.

There is a parenting method whereby parents praise good behavior (“I love the way you are sharing with your sister”) rather than focusing just on negative behaviors (“Stop being mean to your sister!”). I’m oversimplifying, but the general idea is that kids act badly to get attention. If acting in positive ways gets more attention, they will engage in more positive behaviors and fewer negative behaviors.

[bctt tweet=”Engaging in positive behavior is encouraged by encouragement on positive actions. Here are ways to help them accentuate the positive in their life. ” username=”contactrwc”]

You can find out more about the positive approach to parenting by clicking on this article of Positive Discipline Tips and another one about Reinforcing Positive Behavior at Home.

How I Apply It

Does it work? In my experience, it does, as much as I am able to apply it. When I remember to focus on my kids’ positive behaviors, they do seem to work harder to get my attention by “showing off” good behavior. The biggest challenge is remembering to make a big deal out of the positive behaviors. It’s so much easier to notice the bad ones, especially when I am tired and overwhelmed (and let’s face it, that is most of the time!). One of my goals this year is to proactively encourage the behaviors I want to see rather than reacting to the behaviors that make me crazy.

As I’ve been thinking about this parenting approach, I’ve started to contemplate how it could work in different areas of life. For instance, what if we applied this philosophy to media coverage? What would happen if we only covered stories in which people engaged in positive, life-affirming behavior?

Immediately, I can think of one drawback. Bad behaviors, like sexual harassment, would continue to occur because no one would alert the public to the problem. Those types of issues would remain secret, and victims would be robbed of their powerful voices.

Knowing that it isn’t feasible to only report the good stuff, let me just indulge in a happy news fantasy. If most of the world’s journalism focused on the great things people around the world do for others, would people be even more likely to do great things? Would world leaders fight harder to achieve world peace and end hunger and violence if those were the only actions journalists covered?

Most importantly, would our children benefit from being presented with positive models of behavior they can emulate rather than adults who indulge in base human instincts? Whenever we read the news, we see hatred, violence, and self-indulgence. As parents, we are presented with a huge opportunity—and mandate, even—to seek out content that uplifts, that affirms life, that provides models of positive ways of interacting.

I encourage all of you to try, for at least a week, to focus on the positive. Talk to your kids about news stories involving people acting in amazing, kind, and life-affirming ways.

And let’s talk about gossip: we all do it, and it has been proven to play an important role in society, reforming bullies and encouraging cooperation. Let’s try something different, though. Instead of talking about people in negative ways, let’s “gossip” about all the good things people do, as in, “Have you seen Aditi’s blog, Raising World Children? Isn’t it amazing how hard she works to help foster tolerance and love?”

Try focusing on the good stuff for a week. Then let me know how it goes. How do you feel when you talk about only life-celebrating news? How do your kids respond to hearing more about positive behaviors?

When talking about positive news, Prof. Tal Ben-Shahar says, “Positive information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.” We need good news to thrive. Do you feel happier when you take in more positive information?

To help you accentuate the positive, I leave you with some websites that share only the good news.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-neumann/15-uplifting-sites-focuse_b_1297094.html

http://www.adweek.com/digital/7-positive-news-sites-to-cheer-you-up/

https://www.walkbrightly.com/

And here are some lists of children’s books that inspire. They may not all be about good things, but they all celebrate the difference a person can make in the world:

50 Inspiring Children’s Books With a Positive Message

8 Book Recommendations for Happy Kids

6 New Picture Books Enjoy Wonder

Catherine Brown loves to write happy, life-affirming stories about ordinary people doing amazing things. She also writes about parenting and education to help readers learn from experts how to make their lives just a little bit better. Every day, she strives to be a kind and loving friend, partner, and mom…some days are better than others! You can find her at writehappy.net, on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/writehappy.net/, and on Twitter, @catwritehappy.

Are You in a Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage ?

When we meet new people, without realizing we tend to categorize them. Coast person vs mid-west person, Tea drinker vs Coffee drinker, Dog person vs. Cat person, Trump person vs. sane person and so on. Oh yes, we all do it, don’t deny it. We are a judgmental bunch!

The next time you are getting to know someone look carefully into the person’s eyes as you make introductions. The moment you mention your particular affiliation there will be a look of relief in his/her eyes as he/she slots you successfully into a bucket. He/She will find similarities, differences and paint you in carefully marinated opinions and then place you ceremoniously in a category. Once that is done he/she can open up or build a wall, befriend you or end the conversation. There is no escaping this. We all do it. It is an essential ritual, a norm of social interaction.

Boxing Applies To Marital Status As Well

Some of the most confusing and amusing slotting has been when people inquire about my marital status. No, its not ‘Married’ or ‘Single’. This one is more about the ‘how’ of it. It is the ‘Love’ or ‘Arranged’? For some background, I am a South Indian origin by birth, Mumbai bred girl by upbringing married to a North Indian boy from a city in modern day Uttarakhand.

When people hear this or decipher it from our different last names, there is a hush and lull. Then a look of either awe or disappointment flood their eyes depending on the categories that I myself have assigned to them by now.

Love marriages in the context of middle class life in Mumbai that I grew up in entails a certain formula – Usually it means girl meets boy and they fall in love in miraculous seconds. Then there is societal and parental opposition. After that follows the fight, the drama, the eloping and a grand finale of a ‘happily ever after’ marriage.

‘Arranged marriage’ on the other hand is a meticulously planned event by harried parents, mysterious well wishers and the entire Aunty-dom. It goes like this. Aunty sees ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’ at wedding or other event where one decorates oneself. Aunty asks for boy/girls horoscope. Aunty matches horoscopes, sometimes creatively. Aunty brings proposal. Girl and Boy agree docilely. ‘Happily ever after’ ending of marriage follows.

My Story Defies The Assumption

When people ask me Love or Arranged, I can almost hear the plunk as they throw me the ‘Love’ category. But my marriage had none of the drama that comes in the conventional love marriage. I met my husband in my thirties. We took much more than seconds to get to know each other and then decide to get married. Parental and societal objection had reached a fatigue point by then having been futilely active for 10 plus years. There was no eloping. A mutually agreed upon ceremony occurred. It all resulted in a marriage that was more like a continuation of an imperfect but enjoyable life than the, if I may call it, unrealistic ‘happily ever after’ illusion.

So, no I don’t feel comfortable with the categorization of the ‘Love marriage’ bucket. But I guess I didn’t have much from the Aunty-dom either to call it ‘Arranged’.

So where then do I belong? Which bucket is mine? There’s got to be a Goldilocks solution to this too – somewhere in between. Afterall, there is always much more room in the middle. For marriage categorizations and our new political situation too. How about something novel, something bipartisan? There’s place for so many more in the middle.

We can all be happy here the Midwesterner with coastal risque, the coastal with Midwestern values, the non-caffeine drinker, the dog/cat neutral person, and the, maybe, ‘finally recovered former Trump supporter’? As far as marital statuses go, I henceforth propose a new category for people like me.

How about calling it the ‘Self-arranged with love’ category? Which box do you fall in ?

Sandhya Acharya grew up in Mumbai, India and now lives in the Bay Area. Her articles and short stories have featured in NPR (KQED), India Currents, Peacock Journal, and Aaduna. She won the third prize in Katha 2017, a short story contest by India Currents and Wellstone Center. Her first children’s book Children’s book: Big Red Firetruck!: Children’s ebook, Beginner reader, bedtime story about 2 brothers and Fire Trucks. Children’s book ages 2-5. was well received with a rating of 4/5 and 29 reviews on Amazon. Her new children’s book is titled “10 Gulab Jamuns – Counting with an Indian sweet treat” and promises to warm your heart and tantalize your taste buds. The book also includes basic lessons in counting, models positive parenting and highlights sibling love.

BOOKS BY SANDHYA ACHARYA

Happy New Year 2018 !

Featured in the video powerful women changing the world.

Aditi Wardhan Singh – Raising World Children

Christina Tinker – Richmond Moms Blog

Suja Dinesh – Passionate Moms

Ronda Bowen – Snark Magazine

Tammy Coin – Doors of Wellness

Janie Saylor – Become University

Parul Agrawal – Alpha Female House

Deepa Rai – Selfie VA

Rivkah Krasnoff – Aspiring Mompreneur

Sherrie McCarthy – Creative Mermaids

Caroline DePalatis – Culture Weave

Anna Bursell – World Changer

Dilraz AR Kunnummal – Mommy Dil

Jaya Joseph George

Madhu Peruri – Pretty Pockets

Bunny Young – A Better Place Consulting

Deanna Seymour – The Lively Nest

Meeta Arora – Piping Pot Curry

Laura Fernandez Ramnath – Rambling Ramnaths

Chastity Hise – Domestic as Hell

Author Jennifer Millikin – Author

Jewel Eliese – Write Away Mommy

Sandy Mangis – Jar of Success

Shannon Lanzerotta – Sister Mom

Merlie Priya Pais – Musician

Nicole Fassnacht Akers – Pubishous Now

Charu Chhitwal – Ketchup Moms

Ruchi Rastogi – Writer of Dreams

Sandhya Acharya – Diversity Author

Owen’s Fireworks: A Community Life Celebration

How do you make the unthinkable, the unbearable tolerable? How do you move past the loss of your child? And how do you relearn how to smile on his birthday?

One family in Pennsylvania found the best way is to gather your community together to celebrate his life with everyone who knew the little dark-haired, Pokeman-toting, always smiling boy.

Every year, on his December birthday, the community gathers to send fireworks heavenward, to smile and see folks, and to remember. And strangely enough, Owen’s community has grown over the years to include new friends that didn’t know him, but grew to love him anyway through his family.

Oh, the Weather Outside Doesn’t Matter

Last year was colder than it’s been for a while, but the freezing temperatures didn’t seem to deter anyone. They gathered in the street, as they have for the past twelve years, stamping their feet, clapping mitten-covered hands and marveling at how much the neighborhood kids had grown. They were celebrating Owen’s birthday. He would have been 20th that month.

The annual fireworks party is a time to gather, to heal and most importantly, to remember. The driving force has always been Aryn. Petite with long hair somewhere between light brown and blonde, she is dressed in knit cap, ski jacket and boots. She looks like many of Owen’s friends home from college for the holiday. Mom to five children, Owen was her first-born. A storm during a camping trip felled a tree, and Owen was lost when he was in first grade.

Stronger Together

Using the word “we” comes naturally to this close-knit community. We are in this together. Healing and remembering go hand in hand and it is an ongoing process. It never ends, but Owen’s family reached out and wrapped themselves around us, and we responded in kind.

While some might shy away at any mention of Owen’s name, Aryn drinks it in. Always remember, never forget. We have the t-shirts and the scholarship and the elephant drinking fountain in the park, and the color green. Owen’s favorite animal was the elephant. We all remember. As a writer, I do my best most times to detach myself from the story, but not this time. This is personal for all of us. We are truly in this together. We all still have our green Never Forget tee shirts from over a decade ago, and we wear them regularly as part of that promise.

I remember a sometimes silly Owen who would take my daughter’s eyeglasses and hat. Riding in the backseat to school, they’d trade and laugh at how different and how alike they looked. Both sported dark brown page boy haircuts. Maybe a little short for a girl, maybe a little long for a boy, but it suited both of them perfectly. I remember two dark heads pushed together in concentration with sidewalk chalk, or lazily swinging back and forth on our old white wicker porch swing. There is joy in remembering.

The Importance of Remembering

Back outside, we were glad the wind from earlier that week died down. It was time for the fireworks. Owen’s dad and brother are annual masters of the ceremony, setting off one blazing, sparkling pyrotechnic after another to appreciative oohs and ahhs and applause. When the occasional green firework goes awry, we laughed and credited that to Owen.

The lanterns were passed around, and we gathered in small groups of three and four to light, inflate and send skyward. Each one was cheered on as it slowly rose and soon, we all watch a line of glowing lanterns drifting up and away.

Owen’s family thanked us for coming, as they always do. We shared hugs and smiles with people we don’t see every day. We shared a connection through this time spent together once a year as we stopped and remembered and healed, just a little bit more. It was Owen’s 21st celebration last night and every year this time we tuck away this day to celebrate his life .

If you happen to hear a few stray fireworks round about mid-December, do me a favor and think of Owen. His mom would like that!

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.

Why We Turn Into Our Parents ?

Breaking Generational Parenting Trends

Think about it. How many times have you said a phrase or reprimanded your kids and thought, “My mom used to say the same thing!” Or done something in such a way that it reminded you of your dad?

It’s because we tend to mimic our greatest influences and in most families, our greatest influences are our parents.

And this can be both good and bad. Because while we pass down positive traits and habits, we can also pass down negative ones.

Influences of Generational Parenting

I grew up in a family that didn’t hug often. My mom was critical, and wasn’t one to hide her disappointment. And as a growing child, it hurt me. I took that negativity and looked inward, always wondering what was wrong with me.

Only now as an adult do I see the connection between how my mom treated me and how she was treated by her mom.

My grandmother was never the emotional type. I don’t remember her ever using the words “I love you.” She demanded perfection and didn’t ever want to appear as anything less. And as part of the family, anything different or less than perfect was looked down on.

And to my grandmother, my mom was different. I know my mom had some awareness of how she was treated. And that she did not like it and did not want to be like her mom.

Unfortunately, passed down traits, the ones we pick up and learn throughout our lives, can be very hard to reprogram.

While I can see some of the differences in the way my mom parented and the way she was parented, I also saw many of the similarities.

And this is something that is very common in people who have been hurt themselves. They go on to do very similar things. Because hurt people tend to hurt other people.

While I’m very aware of how I treat my kids, I may still say something out of frustration. Or I may yell more than I intended to. And of course, there’s always some guilt after and a lot of apologizing and hugs, but I do often wish my initial reaction was different.

How To Break The Pattern

So how can we change this? How can be reprogram ourselves to not repeat the patterns that once hurt us?

It starts with awareness. Awareness of not just the way we parent now, but also of the way were brought up.

Ask yourself these questions:

What was my childhood experience like? Was it mostly good or bad?
How has it affected my life today? (This one may take some deeper work. For example, if you often heard children should be seen and not heard, perhaps you still feel the need to keep quiet and not voice your opinions. If someone told you that you were shy, you likely still feel like you are, maybe even using your shyness as an excuse to NOT do things. If you were told you couldn’t accomplish things, you may have a tendency to hold yourself back and not try new things now.)
Are there any feelings you had as a child that you hope your own children never have to feel?
Is there anything my parents did that I know I do NOT want to do?
What kind of parent do I want to be?

This may take some journaling and looking deep into your past. I want to encourage you to think of anything that seems out of the ordinary. Maybe you remember comparing your parents to your friend’s parents. I want you to remember these thoughts and remember those feelings. There must have been something in that instance that made you long for something different.

And this may take some time. Facing our past isn’t always the easiest. And sometimes we are too closed off and emotional disconnected from our experiences to see how not normal they really were.

These questions are meant to bring you to a new awareness. When we’re aware of our own past, we have a much better chance of changing the present and the future.

Here’s the thing about parents and parenting. I do think that our parents did the best they could with what they knew, just as we are doing today. But I also believe that parenting tactics and styles can easily get passed down when we’re not aware of them. Luckily, with a little awareness, we can make conscious decisions to change things.

What are some parenting traits your parents have passed onto you ?

Corinne Kerston is an intuitive parent empowerment coach who helps moms who are struggling with kids who don’t listen, throw tantrums and act out. She helps them eliminate the yelling, scolding and resulting mom guilt that comes from it. If you’d liked to learn more about how Corinne can help you understand and positively parent your own children, schedule a free 30-minute call here.

When Is It Safe To Get Your Child Contact Lenses

When is it safe to get your child contact lenses ?

Contacts offer several benefits to those who have vision challenges. The first benefit is enhanced appearance. If you don’t like the feel and look of eyeglasses, contact lenses provide the freedom of less weight on your face while providing visual assistance. However, there are precautions that must be followed to maintain eye health especially if you’re considering purchasing contact lenses for your teen.

The best time to allow your teen to begin wearing contact lenses is when you’ve educated your teen about these contact lens care steps, and when he or she has demonstrated the ability to follow these steps on a regular basis.

Promote Hygiene

Contact lenses must be handled with the highest level of hypoallergenic care. This is due to the increased chances of the eye being infected by germs. Before inserting a contact lens into the eye, your teen must wash his or her hands thoroughly before opening the secured lens package. Hand washing is also imperative when removing contact lenses. Placing a clean piece of tissue under the contact lens case will also prevent germs from being transmitted from a counter’s surface.

Opt For Daily Lenses

If you purchase daily contact lenses, you will decrease the chances of eye infection because these type of lenses must be thrown away at the end of the day. Daily lenses don’t require the same level of cleaning as regular contact lenses. The lenses are already stored in the proper amount of solution. Regular contact lenses require rubbing the lenses with disinfectant solution and rinsing with saline solution prior to insertion and storage. If the lenses are not cleaned or rinsed thoroughly, the risk of having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the solution will be increased.

Avoid Extended Wear

If your teen’s eye doctor does not recommend extended wear contact lenses, it’s important to emphasize the removal of contact lenses prior to going to bed. This will prevent the contact lenses from getting stuck on the eyeball or moving away from the iris. It can be difficult to remove lenses from the eye when natural moisture has been lost because of prolonged eye closure. The eye fluid that accumulates while sleeping can cause dryness as well. As a result, contamination will be the consequence that will lead to infection. Removing the lenses prior to sleeping allows the eye to rest. Visit an eye care professional, like Discover Vision Centers, to see your options when it comes to contact lenses and what would work best for you.

Contact lenses should not be treated like eyeglasses. Laying lens cases on unclean counters or storing cases in unprotected bags can allow lenses to become vulnerable to germs. Educating your teen about his or her eye health should not be taken lightly. The more precautionary steps that are taken to reduce eye infection, the more preserved your teen’s vision will be when he or she gets older.

Emma Sturgis is a freelance writer currently living in Boston, MA. She writes most often on education and business. To see more from Emma, say hi on Twitter @EmmaSturgis2

Using Potty Training To Develop Early Core Values

Hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence are all qualities parents want to teach their children. We take them seriously. But most parents don’t think those are taught in the bathroom. That sounds silly. The truth is that the potty training stage is vital to building strong, capable children and lasting, solid relationships between parent and child.

You’ve taken the time to catch the coos and snag the snuggles. You rejoiced when baby rolled over and again when they took their first steps. But, the stinky messes at diaper change don’t garner the same praise or smiles, do they?

Yet, this process is certainly natural and the time you invest in your child transitioning from passive diaper filling to purposeful potty filling can boost your child’s self-esteem, deepen your relationship and, quite unexpectedly, be really fun.

So how does a parent make a party out of poop and pee? There are several things that you can incorporate into the process. All the things that toddlers enjoy in other rooms, they enjoy in the bathroom. Books, dolls, rhythms and quality time with you are all transferable to the bathroom. And as much as we were taught not to have a potty mouth, it is actually helpful to talk about the bathroom in other rooms.

That potty talk can take place in many ways. Good books exist to help put words in the mouths of parents unsure of how to start the potty dialogue. Adding such a book to the daily reading routine will help introduce the idea to both you and your child. Dolls are quite useful, too, not only adding a level of play, but also adding companionship. Dolls have a secret power, too. As you teach your child about anything, including potty training, encourage him to instruct the doll. As he tells the doll, what he understands and doesn’t understand, will become clear. Dolls are like mirrors reflecting your child’s understanding. If what you hear reminds you more of a funhouse mirror, try teaching that part again. Your child can’t do correctly what he doesn’t understand.

A successful process certainly begins with a great deal of support. And support is spelled t-i-m-e. You will spend time reading books, playing with dolls and maybe even singing bathroom themed songs.

What more can you do? You can take your child to the bathroom – when you use the potty. Narrating your “experience” might be awkward but it’s normal for your child. They are used to hearing his entire life narrated:

“Look at Katie walk!”
“Is Ayla eating with a spoon?”
“Andy is sitting like a big boy on the potty!”

We don’t usually exit the bathroom and announce proudly, “I made a poop in the potty and I washed my hands after!” But, your child will find that statement fun and encouraging. Why? Because as adults we see the bathroom as more of a library than an auditorium, but for a child “all the world’s a stage”. While you can use the bathroom several times a day without giving it a thought, this process is awkward for most children. It’s not like you let them poop into any other chair in the house.

And to be honest, that toilet flush is loud and not a little creepy, right?. Potty training is a very transitional and empowering time in a child’s life. This is the first physical accomplishment that they are attempting to master since walking and requires much more control, awareness, detail and sequencing.

Being in the bathroom with you for your assorted “accomplishments” will be a great learning tool, too. They can sit on thier little potty while you assume the throne. When you wipe and flush, so can they. You can wash and dry your hands together.

Doing this together several times a day will help reinforce that this is a natural process that everyone does and makes muscle memory for the sequence of wiping and flushing, wishing and drying. And whether or not they makes a deposit at the potty bank, allow your child to praise you for your job well done!

Through many attempts comes a success. And a string of successes becomes mastery. Your confidence is bestowed in praising the effort more than the outcome. While they sits on the potty, each moment of your time in conversation, reading a book, singing a song, or involving a doll will give her the patience to keep trying. It will also build her conviction that you will always be there to help her.

Some children take to potty training more quickly and some need more time. Some children have developmental delays and some have had trauma in their young lives and need even more support and patience.

The good news is that this often dreaded stage of parenting is really a great platform for the coming phases.

You and your child will set precedent for the learning process. Your child will learn how to trust you with other obstacles they face. Potty training isn’t just a physical accomplishment, it is emotionally empowering, too.

The openness you share will help build a more trusting relationship in the future. Your child will pass through life going from one accomplishment into the next challenge. Being the interactive, encouraging and inspiring parent at this phase will show your child that you will be all of those things in the next.

Don’t worry about how fast you get potty training done or get dragged into the “I trained my child faster” race. Successful potty training should not be defined not by how quickly it was done – but by how thoroughly it was done – by how happily it was done – by how the parent-child relationship blossomed in the process.

Done successfully, the achievement of toilet training will give your child confidence they can build on for a lifetime, and help them to develop those desired qualities of hard work, determination, self-confidence, social skills, and independence.

How was your potty training experience over all? Do share the lessons you learned with us below.

Jackie Leverton is the founder of Tot on the Pot. She and her husband combined their love for kids and family, to create fun and meaningful activities, driving them forward every single day. So in an effort to help moms and dads enjoy every minute with their kids (even the crappy ones), they spent years crafting the perfect play based solution that would actually make kids want to adopt the potty as part of their routine.

Storytelling: An Irish Tradition Set to Music

I watched an older couple get up to dance. It was difficult for her, age had stolen her flexibility and strength, but she was determined to dance her appreciation of the fiddle band up on the stage. Her gaze alternated between her husband and the ground, checking to see if she was getting the movements right. Her partner was spry, sporting a single diamond in one ear, a day’s grizzled beard growth and a grin. He held both her hands as he kicked up his heels and she tentatively tried a few steps, smiling at the man before her.

Nearby, two little girls in long, flowing dresses and ribbon crowns danced with a third child wearing an “I’m the real boss” t-shirt. Welcome to The Great American Irish Festival, where everyone can be a “weekend Irish” and all, regardless of age, ability or ethnicity are welcome. It’s an annual melting pot in the heart of New York wine country, and far away from everything at the Herkimer Fairgrounds.

#irishstrong

It’s said that music knows no boundaries and the adage seems to hold true at this three-day music and cultural festival held every year on the final weekend of July. Naturally, there’s food and drink. Haggis, anyone? Or perhaps a scone? And there are trinkets for those wanting to take a little of the festival home. But the real stars are the music and the stories, and they’re intertwined.

The Irish tell a good story.

This year, Colleen Searson told the story with her fiddle of a night at the top of a secluded stairway on the roof of a castle in Ireland. She spoke, then played and we could all see the black night and the stars, and feel the cool night air in After the Waltz. And the music had no words.

And then there was Joe Keane, the storyteller. Speaking in a soft voice, he told the story of the meanings behind the Celtic knot. It’s about infinity with no beginning and no end. He talked about the tree of life, and the seasons of the earth through an Irishman’s eyes. And he talked about the importance of strong roots, his fingers fanning downward and then upward with growth. It was an old story, but intense in the telling. Joe Keane made certain you were listening and understanding, watching carefully for a nod and smile. It was important to him that you understood.

What is magical about this particular festival, in this particular place, is the diversity.

While there are certainly a great number of Irish in attendance, there are also a number of “weekend Irish” that come for the day. They come to hear the stories, to dance, to laugh, to be part of a connected community for at least a little while. They learn a few words, they marvel at the range of the fiddle and they smile at strangers who smile right back.

The stories told are of the Irish, but they are also of everyone that has struggled and succeeded. And also of the ones that did not, because that is life. The brogue is sweet to the ear, and the stories are familiar. Off to war to fight for home and country. The loss of love. The road home. The heartbreaks and triumphs are universal, even if the language varies.

The message is simple: we are one.

The festival of the Irish is a call to connect, to respect traditions and to know the history of a people. As parents, exposing our children to these snapshots of other cultures and other people is vital to their education. Not only do we engage with folks we don’t know, and learn about our differences, we learn about how much we are alike. We connect.

Deborah Fingerlow is a writer, traveler and explorer seeking adventures both large and small. Parent to one daughter in college and one teenage son in cyber-school. Food allergies play a significant role in day to day life decisions, as does the support network of a small town in south central Pennsylvania. Neighbors are known by their first names and a walking district encourages community engagement. Business to business communications and the development of authentic connections are Deborah Fingerlow’s superpowers. You can find her at the local farmer’s market, therapy dogs in tow, camera in hand.