Your Parenting Style Defines Your Child - Identify it Now!

Your Parenting Style Defines Your Child – Identify it Now!

by with 7 Comments ContemporaryMindsetVoices

Healthily raising children is an essential factor.  Every single parent faces various difficulties and using  parenting styles to raise their child. With the help of parenting styles, parents set rules for children and expect to conform their children to follow them.  There are four types of parenting styles such as authoritative parenting, neglectful parenting, permissive parenting, and authorization parenting style. Sometimes, parents are not aware form their parenting style which parenting style they are using.   With the variety of parenting styles impact the children differently.

Identify Your Parenting Style

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is one of the best styles of parents and provides open communication style for children.  This parenting style is the most effective and beneficial parenting style for healthy children. This type of parenting creates a healthy environment around the children and supports their children at any situation. Authoritative parenting is easily recognized from their high expectation from their children and a deep understanding of children expectation. With authoritative parents, quickly make a healthy home without any conflicts and communication gap between children and parents.   There are some points to how to recognize Authoritative parenting style such as:

  •   If you have your child day structure such as planned for bedtime and understood household rules.
  •   If you know, the child expectation from their behavior and these expectations are reasonable.
  •   If you have a healthy and open communication line with your child.  In case, you child say anything with you without any fear and shyness.
  •   If your children easily share their experience with you without any negative thought and concern.

Neglectful Parenting:

This type of parenting style is the most severe parenting style.  Neglectful parents are responsible for their childish behavior and rarely fluctuate naturally.  If you can recognize yourself in neglectful parenting, then you need to improve relationships with children and backtrack on healthy and happy family relationship.

Some points can recognize neglectful parenting style such as:

  •    Do you care about your children such as emotional, physical and others?
  •    Do you can better understand what’s going on in your children life?
  •    Do you can provide safe space for a child and share with their experience and want to positive feedback as compare to negative or no feedback.
  •     Do you spend a long time away from home and leave a child alone at home.
  •     Often, can you find out some excuse for not being here for a child?
  •     Do you know about your childhood friends and teachers?

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is also called indulgent parenting. The parenting type is another potentially harmful style of parenting.  The permissive parenting type of parents is responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient whereas trying to avoid confrontation.   The best benefit of this type of parents is very nurturing and loving. The permissive parents set few rules for their children and regulations are inconsistent. There are few points to how to recognize permissive parents such as:

  •   If you are no established rules and limits on your children, then you can easily compromise with your standards for your children mood.
  •    If you avoid your children conflicts.
  •     You have willingness to your children best friend rather than their parents.
  •     This type of parenting style gives freedom without any consequence.

Authorization Parenting:

Authorization parents are also called strict parents.  The authorization parenting parents who are demanding but not responsive.   Authorization parents allow for open to a conversation between child and parent.   And always expect from children to follow a set of rules and expectations. This type of parents usually relies on punishment to demand obedience and teach a lesson for children. There are some points to recognizing your authorization parent’s styles such as:

  •   Do you have strict rules for children and you believe be followed by children in any situation?
  •    Do you often find yourself not explain the states other than children wants to teach?
  •    In case, you can give a few choice and decisions to your child about their own life.
  •    If you are reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing and show your child.
  •    If you find out yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?

The structure and rules of authorization parents are the best way for the healthy development of children.  With the authorization, parenting builds a better relationship between child and parents and open communication with children.   The children of authorization parents are prone to low self-esteem, fearful or shy, the obedience of love and possible to do misbehave when outside the parent care.   Every single parent wants to make a better and healthy relationship with the child and understand their expectation and requirements.

On the internet, there are various online scheduling apps free which offer the best way to set an appointment and reminders. With the use of appointment scheduling, people easily save their time and other expenses. This helps ease some of the stress of parenting.

 

He is the content developer and freelance writer. He writes a lot of article on his carrier. Last one year he is working with Appointment Care as a content developer and a writer. He has a expertise on writing an article on various types of online tutorial. He also wants to promote such kind of work to develop the skill.

 

 

 

The Danger in Over Scheduling Kids - How Much is Too Much?

The Danger in Over Scheduling Kids – How Much is Too Much?

by with 7 Comments Parenting

Zoo class. Dance class. Scouts. Science hour at the museum. Soccer. Basketball. Karate. Gymnastics. Violin. Art class. There are so many different activities for kids to participate in. It’s easy to be tempted to sign an eager kid up for every opportunity you come across – but is it good to do so? Are we in danger of over-scheduling our kids?

The Feast of Opportunity

I home school, so the temptation to take advantage of every activity offering my kids the opportunity to be around other kids is strong. After all,One of the nice things about homeschooling is freeing the kids up to participate in a variety of activities. But even for those who don’t homeschool, there is a plethora of after school activities available to choose from. But how do you know when enough is enough? Is there too much of a good thing?

It feels like kids today have more options than ever before. Most museums and zoos offer a wide variety of classes. There’s in home and out of home instruction. If you live in a college town, the university offers a variety of opportunities for kids. Schools have before and after school programs as well as a selection of clubs from which to choose. There are community center classes and studio classes. Some places even offer foreign language instruction to children. That doesn’t even include Girl Scouts and Scouts, 4-H, youth groups, and other community opportunities existing for kids.

Time Management

Commitments add up pretty quickly. While it may feel like an hour here, and an hour there, kids still have to get to their activities. Not only does over-scheduling children have a negative effect on kids, but it can have a big negative effect on family life as a whole. Carting kids around from activity to activity means that someone is in the car an awful lot, leading to a more sedentary lifestyle. The likelihood of picking up food from a drive through goes up when kids are over-scheduled, and parents’ don’t get much downtime for themselves.

It’s important to factor in the time it takes to get to and from activities into one’s schedule before committing to another activity.

Signs a Child is Over-Scheduled

If a child is losing interest in activities that he or she once enjoyed, it could be the case that he or she is over-scheduled and stressed. Sometimes, it’s harder for kids than it is for adults to speak up about their needs for downtime – especially because our kids want us to be happy. If your child has no interest in previous things he or she enjoyed, it may be time to cut back on some activities.

Burnout isn’t the only sign a child is over-scheduled. If a child doesn’t have time for a social life or sitting and vegetating in front of a television set for an hour or two, it’s going to be more difficult for that child to learn how to just be. It’s actually good for kids to be bored once in a while or sit and watch the paint on the wall. Not only can this lead to creative spurts, but it can also help your child recharge so that he or she is processing what was learned through a day.

Frequent complaints about stomach aches, headaches, or other physical discomfort can be a sign that your child is experiencing the physical side effects of stress.

Another sign a child is overschedules is an increase in the number of mood swings or in the frequency of grumpy moods and tantrums. Kids who don’t get enough time to just sit or have open-ended play are also likely to have a difficult time calming for sleep and getting restful sleep. Some activities could cut into times that would otherwise be used for napping or sleeping at night. Remember, kids still need a lot of sleep.

A final sign a child is over-scheduled is that the child starts to do poorly in school. Learning needs a certain amount of intellectual energy. If a child isn’t having regular downtime and time free from scheduled commitments, then burnout is a real threat, and just like with adults, it can bleed over into every area of life.

How to Prevent Over-Scheduling

It’s okay if your child doesn’t take every opportunity that comes his or her way. In fact, learning how to say “no” to things is an important part of growing up and choosing the path that one will follow. Offering choices – gymnastics or Scouts, youth group or art class, can help your child start to prioritize what he or she wants to focus on in non-academic time.

Let your child choose his or her activities. Sure, for the preschool set, it’s fine to sign a child up for an activity or two to test the waters, but older kids have preferences. Be willing to listen to your child’s feedback. If soccer isn’t working out, it’s okay for your child to not continue it next season – and if over-scheduling isn’t a concern, allow your child to drop it after the commitment to the current season is finished.

Make a master schedule of all  the things your child is committed to already. Be sure to include meal times, self care, sleep, time for homework, and time for schoolwork (if you’re homeschooling) on the schedule. Add in all of the activities your child is already committed to on the schedule. How much free time is left? When will your child have friends over? When will he or she have unstructured time to play?

Learning how to manage a balanced schedule that leaves time for all of life’s activities is an important skill to have – but it’s very important to ensure that the schedule has time for downtime and time for self-care – even for kids.

What will you do to help ensure your child isn’t overbooked?

 

This Holiday Season Remember the Helpers with Gratitude

This Holiday Season Remember the Helpers with Gratitude

by with 6 Comments festivalsMindsetVoices

Remembering the helpers… I am most grateful!

To the volunteers, helpers, emergency services workers, teachers, family, friends, and my mum… I wish to say “Thank you!”

Sometimes we take for granted the helpers in our world!

Today, I was witness to a volunteer, a helper, harassed online for her efforts. Last week, I saw a soccer coach say he has confrontations weekly, for ‘not running his team the “right” way’.

This is not ok! This must stop!

Attention, please! These are our volunteers! People that rearrange their schedules, give up their family time, and do special training so they can be our helpers. If you can do a better job – prove it! Take the course! Be on the receiving end of ungrateful people’s comments week after week.

I understand we are all busy with duties to attend to, errands to run, families to look after, working long days…

When was the last time you actually did not just toss “Thank you” over your shoulder as you departed, in a hurry?

When was the last time you took the time to say “Thank you” to your:

  • Football coach?
  • Netball coach?
  • Librarian?
  • Scouts leader?
  • To the police officer who helped with directions?
  • The nurse taking your blood pressure?
  • The cleaner at work?
  • The postman who delivered your mail?

When was the last time you stopped and said, “Thanks for making my lunch, Mum!”

When was the last time you made the time to stop and validate the contributions people, tirelessly and selflessly, make to our lives?

In this world, at this time, we are quick to criticize all the mistakes people make. We have no trouble pointing out the erroneous grammar in an article we are reading (yes, I am guilty of this too!), a spelling mistake in the book we are reading, and decisions of government we disagree with… but how often do we stop to say “thank you”, and mean it?

A post popped up today from one of my favorite blogs for young children’s books: Growing Book by Book. It talks about books for teaching children about gratitude and appreciation.

In the list is a book recommended for my dyslexic son by one of his teachers. It is called “Thank you, Mr Falker” by Patricia Polacco, about a child’s school experience: her inability to read although she is desperate to do so, several years pass and she still cannot read, then a very special teacher works out her issues, and helps her back on track.-  https://g.co/kgs/goUwzm

I like the reminders to be grateful and appreciative.  The lessons to share with our children but… maybe we can take it one step more… stop and take the time to say “Thank you!”

“Thank you” to our family who always respond when we need their assistance. Sometimes we forget to acknowledge the freedom and thankfulness in just knowing our support network is but a call away.

I live in a bicultural/ biracial family. In our second language Arabic, you do not use the word “Thank you” to your family members. You may assume your request is considered and a response forthcoming with the solution an act of love, and care – your acceptance of their assistance is the only thank you expected. I find it very difficult at times when my family is doing something for me. I am most grateful but my “thank you” always met with surprise and a “You don’t have to thank me, you are family!” The understanding that they do what they can to make each other’s lives easier, and I am by extension of marriage included, is rather humbling.

I am just sitting here thinking….

  • Eighteen months ago, we changed continents.
  • Our majority language became our minority language and our minority language became our majority language.
  • We changed cultures.
  • We changed from living in a house to living in an apartment.

Just one of these things may have been difficult but…

  • I am so grateful for the experience.
  • I am grateful for the new teachers of my children who are working to help us improve our children’s literacy in their new majority language.
  • I am most grateful of all for the family and friends who have supported this move and helped us settle anew!

Who are you grateful for today?

Encouraging Your Child's Confident Entry into High School

Encouraging Your Child’s Confident Entry into High School

by with 5 Comments EducationParentingSchoolsVoices

Being a teenager takes a toll on confidence. Whether it’s starting high school or going to their first school dance, teenagers face a lot of uncharted, oftentimes, scary territory. Instinctively, parents want to do everything they can to boost their child’s confidence and instill a powerful, can-do attitude without adding any arrogance or entitlement. While every teenager is different, there are a few things parents can do to help support their teen as they navigate the halls of high school and their formative teenage years.

Instill Good Study Habits

Transitioning from middle to high school can be overwhelming for teens. From trying to fit in among peers to the additional homework, organization and good study habits are a must.

As they get older, it’s natural for teenagers to want independence and to not be told what to do. However, with so many changes going on at one time, it’s easy for teens to get lost in a sea of homework and fall behind.

Creating an organized space where your teen can study without distraction does wonders to boost a feeling of independence and self-esteem. Encourage consistency when it comes to homework. Give them a window where they choose when they complete it but they still have a timeline in which is needs to be done. However, remember that grades aren’t everything. Helping them become a kind individual who loves life and maintains good mental health is more important than making an A-plus on everything. Encourage them to do their best but be there to support them even when they feel they fall short.

Look For Alternatives They Are Comfortable With

Remember when you were in high school and the only thing you wanted was to be part of the most popular clique? In high school, teens go through a slew of physical changes, and their physical appearance plays an enormous role in confidence levels. Even something as common as needing braces can cause an unnecessary amount of drama. If something makes your child uncomfortable, look into alternatives or compromises.

For example, if your teen needs braces but can’t face their peers with a mouth full of traditional metal braces, you can opt for a clear, Invisalign option. Virtually undetectable on their teeth, not having to worry about teasing at school will also do wonders for your child’s self-confidence. While you may know that things like braces are incredibly common and will probably not single out your child, investing in an alternative that your child feels comfortable with will help them feel more comfortable during this confusing time of change.

Let Them Know You Are There

Not quite an adult, yet not quite a child. So many teenagers feel this way but are afraid to say it. They want to explore their new horizons, but they also need the security that you are there. Stress the importance of feelings, not accomplishments. Sure, you want your teen to get good grades, but how they feel on a daily basis is even more important. Carve out time for just the two of you. Provide the opportunity for them to speak openly with you but also remember not to force it. When they’re comfortable and want to talk, they will.

Even with the best of intentions, there will be times when your teen questions themselves and lack the confidence they need. As a loving parent, just know that while you can guide them, they need to take the first step and understand that it’s all part of growing up. Remind them frequently of how proud you are of them. Even if they don’t shower you with hugs and kisses, it means more than you can imagine.

  Dixie Somers is a freelance writer who loves to write for business, health, home, and women’s interests. She lives in Arizona with her husband and three beautiful daughters.

 

Be Thoughtful With Your Presents This Holiday Season

Be Thoughtful With Your Presents This Holiday Season

by with 6 Comments AmericafestivalsVoices

When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there? – Thich Nhat Hanh

Here are some shocking statistics on holiday gifts.  About $16 billion were predicted to be wasted on unwanted gifts in 2017 holiday season in America alone. 1 in 2 people dislikes at least one gift each holiday. (Source: https://www.finder.com/unwanted-gifts)

Do you realize how much waste of energy and time that is? So many meaningful things could be done with that money and time by so many people. I recently conducted a poll in a group that I am a part of and the top 3 holiday stressors were money, relationships, and shopping.

If we are spending money on unwanted gifts for people we are stressed to meet in the first place, there is something to be looked at and changed.

But before that let me share a story about a time when I received a gift that I immediately threw in the trash.

A Birthday Gift That Ended In Trash       

It was my birthday a few years ago . One of my acquaintances (after this incident I do not know if I should call them friends) gave me a gift basket. My primary love language is receiving gifts.

Of course, I was very excited to receive it. As I opened it, I happened to find a love note from another friend to this friend in the basket. Ta-DA! It was re-gifted!

I took a deep breath in and let go. This was the second time, I had received a “re-gift” with a note inside from the same person.  I unwrapped the basket.

I decided to let go of the re-gifting thought and took the products out from the plastic to see what they were. At this point, I was still into the gift.

I have a habit of reading at the back of the product to see the ingredients, etc. This was a bath products basket and it was Made in China (which is fine because what is not made in China these days?). But it came with a warning. “Throw this product if you get urine infection after using it.” WHAT????

I looked at all bath products I use and none of those had that warning. I took the basket, sighed and threw it in the trash. For a person whose primary love language is gifts, a gift this unthoughtful on her birthday is a horrible mistake.

Yes, the thought counts. But a thought would have been enough if there was no thoughtfulness involved after that.

I worked for a fabulous company that made high-quality fragrance and bath products. I know first hand it takes a lot of stress on people who work in gift industries to make sure they put gifts in the retail stores on time.

It is a pretty stressful time as much as I remember when people are striving to get those holiday orders in.

With all this background, all I could think was that this gift was a terrible waste of time and energy of the entire supply chain.

Now you might be wondering what a love language is, so here is a small introduction before we move forward:

Five Love Languages

In The Five Love Languages book, author Gary Chapman outlines the 5 ways that a person may express and experience love. Everyone has a primary and secondary love language. He uses examples from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one’s own love languages.

The list of 5 Love Languages is as follows:

  1. Receiving gifts
  2. Quality time
  3. Words of Affirmation
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

His theory is that people have specific ways in which they receive love and usually use the same ways to express their love. If you pay attention to how people love to communicate their love, you might be able to understand their expectations better.

How can we be more present in this holiday season?

1: Learn and use love languages as a guide to picking gifts

If you take the time to notice people in your lives, you can discover their love languages. Maybe they are giving you hints by doing something nice for you quite often.

Maybe they give you compliments all the time. Maybe they like to hold hands or touch your shirt or love a blanket or scarf or velvet. Maybe they are always planning activities to spend time together.

We are growing to be a generation of less attention span. But at the same time, we are moving to be a more mindful generation as well.

When you are more aware of our surroundings every moment and have an intention of understanding your partner, loved one, child, friend or colleagues love language, you will, of course, find it.

2: Add thoughtfulness to your thought

When you give a gift to a person, it shows that you care about them. That is a nice thought. Now go one step ahead and be thoughtful. Ask a few questions to get clarity on your gift for this person:

  1. What does this person remind you of?
  2. What difference have they made to you in your life?
  3. What would help them feel special with your gift?
  4. Do you really want to give them a gift and go through all this process?
  5. Are they really that important to you or is this really another check mark?  

3. If not sure, ask!

If you have not been present too much and not aware of this person’s love languages and you still want to give them a gift. Ask if they have a gift list they can share.

You can look what they like on their social media pages, Amazon wish lists to get hints. You can ask their close friends or relatives if you know them.

4. Keep essence of the season in mind

If you are getting too worked up, about giving gifts, stop. Remember the essence of the season. It is not about gifts.

It is about the celebration of life. It is about counting your blessings. It is about remembering what you are grateful for.

There are times when you might not be able to give gifts to everyone you know. In those times, let your actions and your presence be the greatest gift.

Smile. Make people smile. Give compliments. Show them that you care. Be there.

Remember, people do care about how you make them feel. Most importantly, remember your children are watching how you treat your relationships.

Materialism is secondary. But if you have decided to re-gift, then all I want to say is, please remember to remove the old tag!

How to be Thoughtful With Your Gifts This HOliday Season #holidayseason #christmas #presents #gifts

Bio: Sneha J is the CEO and Founder of Stress Less With Sneha J (https://stresslesswithsnehaj.com). Sneha is passionate about helping men and women in leadership roles stress less and connect with their inner-happy using mindfulness, mindset, and energy healing principles. She helps them channel their stress-inducing emotions into productive outcomes. Get her free Stress Free Holidays Playbook at https://stresslesswithsnehaj.com/stress-free-holidays/

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

Preparing for the Lifelong Journey of Learning

by with 7 Comments EducationVoices

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

Every subject in school cannot be a favorite. I used to enjoy Social Science and Biology in school. Particularly, learning about the geographical demographics of a place, maps, climates, old civilizations, etc. Perhaps, this is why I signed up for classes in Anthropology, Human Behaviors and Astronomy at University. They were such fun, interesting and interactive classes. Apart for Art, learning about different cultures fascinated me. Learning about human psychological behaviors intrigued me. But I totally detested Math in school, I think I still do!

At different stages of school, I aspired to be a Social Sciences teacher, a criminal lawyer, an archaeologist, a fashion designer, a graphic designer. To think of it now, I was always role-playing in my mind and learning a new subject enthusiastically.

There was a time I was so intrigued by space (Oh I still am) that I wanted to be an astronaut. But going away from family sounded a bit too hard so I thought of being an astronomer. Unfortunately, it would require a lot of Math, and Math was never my best friend.

The only time I enjoyed learning Math was at University because the level of Math in American universities is equivalent to primary and elementary school Math of the Indian system. I got perfect scores in Math at university because I was great at Venn diagrams and pie-charts (no, seriously!) Today, as adults we know that trigonometry and algebra formulas are not going to help get a job, pay the rent, find a spouse or for that matter even catch a mouse!

On the other hand, my daughter enjoys learning Science and loves to solve Math problems. But she isn’t too fond of the Social Sciences. Sometimes I wonder how is that possible? Then I remind myself that she isn’t me and I’m not her. She is an extension of me but an individual in herself. She has the right to choose what she likes and develop her interests based on her own choices.

Making Learning Fun

So I try to make the ‘non-favorite’ subjects fun for here and try to teach her through story-telling, visuals and real-life examples. I tell her to relate what she learns, to what she has seen or experienced.

For instance, once she was confused when she was learning about ‘Terrestrial Plants’ growing in different regions. So I told her to remember the pine cones and coniferous trees she saw in Chicago (cold/hilly region), to think of the banyan and mango trees she plays around at the park in Mumbai (plains), to think of the rubber and coconut trees in the backyard of our house in Florida (hot and damp region), and not to forget the date palms and cactus that she sees here in Kuwait (desert region).

The next time she was learning about ‘Aquatic Plants’, she told me that floating plants are like duckweed that we saw in Bali, fixed plants are like the lotus we saw in Sri Lanka and underwater plants are like the plants we saw when we went snorkeling at Peanut Island in Florida. Instantly, I knew that she was learning and not just memorizing. She was reasoning and coming up with answers for herself.

Personally, I think this kind of learning is a bigger achievement than just getting good grades or a perfect score on a test. Integrating learning with experiences and memories will definitely help retain the information longer or forever.

Memorizing without understanding, and studying without the desire of learning will always make learning seem like a task. We must always reiterate to our kids that they should study to learn, and not just to remember until the next test or exam.

We should teach our children that learning is a journey and not a computerized input-output process. With so many living robots all around, we need to strive hard to nurture the human mind and heart, so that this world will be a better place for them to live in. A deeper understanding of what we learn will also help us become more compassionate towards each other and our environment.

Today, I enjoy the process of learning new things even more. One of the reasons why learning is still fun is probably because my parents never forced their aspirations on me or steered me in a way that didn’t interest me. I am indeed grateful to them for letting me make my educational and personal decisions.

The Progression of Learning

As life progresses and our thought process changes (or we get wiser), our interests change too. Currently, Nutritional Science and Religion interests me. A few years later, it may well be something else. So we must remember that learning is not limited to schools, universities and institutions. Learning can take place anywhere and anytime. Just like evolution, learning is an ongoing process so we might as well make it fun for our children and ourselves.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

 These are such powerful words that capture the true essence of learning. We must remember that the best part about learning is that the knowledge we acquire solely belongs to us and no one can take it away.

Why We Need to Stop Whining About Motherhood

Why We Need to Stop Whining About Motherhood

by with 9 Comments MindsetVoices

Parenting life can get very overwhelming. In Indian mythology, Goddesses have many forms. Many idols are created with many hands. Maybe, just maybe it has something to do with the many, many roles we play as a mother. The overwhelm that comes with it was life changing. And I see it every single day. Mothers constantly stressing, lamenting to each other about how difficult and hectic their life is.

I understand venting about your day, but when we see it happen incessantly in the way in which most mothers today seem to do it, it speaks towards the building of a negative mindset and the fact that almost everyone is going through difficult times. And our empathy for others seem to be eroding as we drown in ponds of pity for ourselves.

The Many Roles We Play as Parents

I was cleaning my daughter’s nose with saline solution. My son came, gazed intently at his sister and mumbled, ”Who are you?” I was too busy trying to do what I was doing without further traumatizing a wailing child. After I was done, my son came and put a hand on my shoulder (with sympathy almost) and asked again, ”Who are you?”

I laughed out loud. ” You don’t know who I am. I’m your Mama right ? ” He shook his head and persisted with the question, further elaborating, ” Who are you? Are you a Doctor? ” Ah ! Cleaning his sister’s nose giving her much needed relief during her cold and fever made him wonder. I of course found it amusing and affirmed. ” Yes, I’m doctor. I help you also when you get boo boo.” He smiled and said, ”You are a good doctor.”

Next time the question arose when I was trying to teach him the written letter. ”Who are you? Are you a teacher?” And so on it went.

Random comment would pass while I was doing generic stuff.

”Who are you? Are you a pilot ? ” , when I drove the car.

”Who are you? Are you a helper?” , when I helped him tie his shoes.

”Who are you? Are you a worker? “, when I’m finding something on the laptop.

My son, who was 3.5 at the time, recognized the simple fact that as a mom I play many roles at the same time. Doctor, driver, helper, researcher, nurse, teacher and much more. The moment made me introspect about how my children perceive me. Apparently, this person who multitasks constantly.

Not to mention the amount of managing we do to keep up with chores, food, appointments, social commitments while at the same time herding around a family of four to wherever we need to be at the exact time we need to be. Time management, team work, keeping up with information, being organized are all traits every mother imbibes, not to mention being there for everyone as much as I can emotionally and physically. Add to this working on my freelancing career and passion project, which are 24/7 in itself, life can certainly get overwhelming.

And that’s just in the beginning. A parent eventually plays the role of friend, teacher, preacher, judge, jury, confidante, and sibling also in many cases. To constantly use every teaching moment, parent them when needed, hand out consequences, keep their secrets and fill the void whenever they need us. Let’s not forget all the party planning that is involved during the festive season and when birthdays come around.

Stop the Overwhelm with This Mindset

I don’t write this just to glorify parents but to take remind every parent to take a few moments each day or week to sit back and take stock of all the work that you do. Appreciate all the roles that you play and how they help YOU evolve as a person constantly.

We can often catch ourselves cribbing about how hard parenting is and how we wish we could relax. Specially during the holiday seasons. We need to remember, every person on the planet is overwhelmed with some aspect of their life. Most importantly, the attitude of complaining sets a negative example for those who look towards us for how to look at life’s challenges. The health hazards of having a stressed outlook cannot be emphasized enough either. What we need to do is counter the overwhelm before the onset proactively.

Self care is a big part of avoiding the frustrations that come with parenting. But equally so is the need for us to look at it as a blessing. Being a parent is not just taking care of a child, but being many things so that you can together as a family grow and learn the multitude skills required to live a fulfilling life.

It is this very exhausting and overwhelming life full of worries that helps us appreciate all that our life has to offer. It forces us to take a hard look at our lifestyle choices and be aware of what it is we need to do to be better role models. Our children teach us life lessons each day and force us to introspect over our words and actions.

Gratitude for what you have and all that you are able to do has a wonderful way of making your parenting outlook more positive.

Why We Need to Stop Whing about Motherhood #parenting #motherhood

Worldly Experiences From the Sahara

Worldly Experiences From the Sahara

by with 6 Comments Voicesworld changers

  1. Tell us more about yourself?

I have a BS in zoology and animal behavior. I then received my MHS in International Health from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and currently direct a study looking at HIV and people who have a history of drug addiction. I am also a Certified Life Coach as well as a trained hospice volunteer. My life’s focus has been to learn about nature as well as people and their cultures. This inspired me to travel many places: Burkina Faso, Ivory Coast, Algeria, Morocco, Thailand, Peru, Mexico, Panama, Europe, the US to name a few. As I traveled, I also focused on learning about my own identity. This led to doing three vision quests, two of which were in the Sahara Desert. I published a novel based on my experiences in the Sahara called, The Rhythm of the Soul.

 

  1. How did you come to your passion/profession?

I have always been an observer. I was not only introverted growing up, but much younger than my three siblings. As I grew up, my observations fed my love of nature. I love to learn, so I read a lot and wanted to increase my knowledge about the world around me. Part of pursuing this passion was going to college to learn about animals (zoology and animal behavior) and graduate school to learn about people and health (international health). The other part of following my passion was when I made the decision that I had to travel to places in which I had keen interests. All of these external passions were fed by my yearning to not only understand the world around me, but to also understand myself. That is when I went back to nature through the practice of vision questing and other nature-based soul journeys.

 

  1. Tell us about your childhood and what led you to this thought process?

My love of animals began very young with our family cat who, when I was a toddler, would follow me around like a dog and always want to sit on my lap. I have always felt a connection with animals, both domestic and wild. I loved helping my father feed the squirrels and birds in our backyard. Along with my love of observing animals was my curiosity to observe people. These fed my interests to pursue my studies and travels.

  1. How many places have you lived? How has that affected your worldview?

I have only lived in two places – Baltimore, MD and when in my 20’s San Diego, California for two years. I have been back in Baltimore ever since. However, the travel bug bit me in my 20’s and it propelled me out into explorations far and wide, which I mostly did on my own. I travelled as a single woman from Europe, to Mexico, to Thailand, and more. I decided that if I waited until I found traveling companions, I would never get to see all the places that called to me. Going to different countries very different from my own gave me a deeper understanding of how we are all subject to the same human conditions, even though we have an amazing variety of ways we express ourselves culturally. I started to realize that, as rich and different as we may seem on the surface, we are more alike than not. The religious stories, myths, fairytales, etc. that we learn from the cultures we grow up in all have the same themes because really we are only human after all.

 

  1. What do you think are three biggest struggles most people experience traveling?

As exhilarating as travel can be, it can also be exhausting. I can say that is true when one travels solo. But the upside of traveling alone is how you connect with people to share experiences and stories. Another struggle may be language barriers. However I have found that even when I have no understanding of a language, there are ways to communicate and what can help is to listen deeply and be very expressive with gestures. Figuring out directions in an unfamiliar landscape is also challenging. When you first arrive in a place, there are no bearings to know where you are and how to navigate to where you need to go. But traveling alone gave me a great sense of direction for the times I got lost and all the practice I got learning how to get back on track.

  1. What were your unique impressions of the Tuareg nomads in the Sahara Desert?

I traveled with a Swiss organization that had already forged a deep connection with the Tuareg. Our group had the advantage of being with men who were used to guiding Westerners into their land. This allowed for all of us to share our stories and learn from each other over the weeks we were on our quest. I realized the deep wisdom the nomads have about a land that seems to offer so little sustenance. They are very intuitive and in tune with what is going on around them and with their camels. The connection they have with the earth and nature is still very strong. Their traditions have been passed down for generations, but modern times have placed many restrictions on nomadic living. They are feeling the harsh consequences and much unrest has been happening in the countries where they live – Algeria, Niger, Mali, Chad, and Libya. They are different in the ways that their environment, culture, history, and society shaped them, but when we shared stories about those differences, it gave us a chance to find laughter and empathy for how we all must deal with the conditions of life.

 

  1. What is a vision quest? How does it help people?

Vision questing is choosing to take time away from your familiar, every day life to completely unplug from all the tasks and technology that weigh you down and go into a nature setting in order to seek greater depth and clarity about your life purpose. It is based on indigenous rites of passage that mark significant life transitions. There are a variety of organizations that lead vision questing, so it is important to find seasoned guides to ensure you have a meaningful and safe experience. Your work with the guides and the gathering of other seekers who go into the wilderness or place of nature involves a lot of introspection and sharing through journalism, dream work, medicine walks, drumming, etc., all preparing you to sit solo – alone for up to four days and nights while fasting. Sitting solo in nature is the hallmark of a vision quest.

  1. What are three pieces of advice you would like to share with parents?

While I have never been a parent, I have been close with my sister and other single parents who were raising children. I can only provide advice from a vicarious perspective. First, as much as you don’t want to, inherent in raising children is wounding, which is necessary to help them grow and learn. Wounding may be as simple as taking your child to his first day of school and seeing him cry because it brings up fears of being abandoned. It is important to consistently reassure a child that you will always be there to provide love and guidance through the scary aspects of growing up. Second, there is no such thing as a “perfect” anything – parent, child, family, etc. There may be times when you feel proud and grateful and there will still be those times when parenting is hard and messy. Third, listen deeply to children because they have amazing wisdom. It may be hard to let go of being the knowledgeable voice of reason, but it’s important to allow children’s insights to be seen and heard.

 

  1. How, in your opinion should one be open with other cultures when conversing?

One way that can bring openness is to be curious about another person’s culture. Show interest by asking questions to find out more, rather than make assumptions. People love to talk about themselves, so give someone a chance to tell their stories. Another way to let a person know I am open is to share my travel experiences of being in their culture.

 

  1. Do you have anything to share with our readers?

My book, The Rhythm of the Soul, is a wonderful tale of a very brave young woman. One of my reviewers is a father of a daughter who writes, “There are so many gems of wisdom and moving quotes that cut to the core of what life is about… Being a father of an only daughter, I found it personally meaningful to have a story of a brave female protagonist finding herself in a world that too often teaches women to play small and deny their own hearts and truth. I highly recommend this book as a journey of self-discovery and a regaining of the dark, feminine wisdom that lies within our own hearts and helps us discover our full belonging in the great mystery of just being!” – Michael Brant DeMaria , PhD psychologist and author.

Grab Lisa’s amazing book here.

You can meet other world changers doing their part to bring a positive change into the world here.

Involving Kids of All Ages in Thanksgiving Preparation

Involving Kids of All Ages in Thanksgiving Preparation

by with 7 Comments festivalsVoices

As I’ve mentioned before, I tend to make a huge deal out of the holidays. Thanksgiving is no different in our house. I start planning for it months ahead by perusing recipe books and magazines, making notes about favorite recipes from years past, and putting together a plan. One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving, though, is pulling together everyone in the family to work together toward a common goal – making an amazing and delicious meal.

That means that we involve our kids in Thanksgiving prep – in age-appropriate ways. Here are some tips for involving kids of different ages in this annual holiday.

The Smallest Kids

We’ve always either had an open kitchen or a large enough kitchen to set up a high chair in the kitchen itself near the food prep area. Even though children under 18 months old can’t do a lot of the actual prep work, I still like to include them if they’re old enough to be sitting up in a high chair. It’s fun for them to bang wooden spoons on the high chair tray, play with some homemade playdough, and taste some of the ingredients (chopped up apple, anyone?) It makes it nice, because from the littlest ages, my kids are used to being part of the festivities.

Toddlers

Toddlers (18 months – 3) make great stirrers, and many are capable of helping to help measure and pour ingredients into a mixing bowl. You can also have them tear lettuce for salads. I try to pick one or two recipes that my toddler can be fully involved with helping. I stress the importance of good kitchen hygiene (wash your hands, please), but this helps develop a good sense of self-confidence when that salad they helped with makes it onto the plate. I also like making salad dressing in a shaker bottle and allow the toddler to shake the salad dressing.

It’s also fun to have a couple of projects on hand that toddlers can do to help decorate the Thanksgiving table. The dollar store and Target’s Dollar Spot are great resources for this. Foam stickers are great for this age as they work the fine motor skills. Coloring pages, stickers, and other simple arts and crafts projects will help keep toddlers busy while you’re doing the things they can’t help with.

Preschoolers

Preschoolers (3-5) are a fun group. They really want to help, but they often want to help with the things that they can’t quite do. For this age, it’s great to put them to work on things they can do – like putting together sauce ingredients, measuring and adding ingredients to recipes, stirring things, tearing lettuce, cutting anything that can be cut with a butter knife, pushing buttons on appliances, etc. My soon-to-be-five year old loves to help with all of these things, and she does a good job of listening to directions, keeping her hands clean, and being safe.

Good activities include making place cards for guests (tracing names if they’re not yet writing), making crafted decorations, and helping to clean up toys from around the house. Preschoolers will also enjoy helping to set the table (the silverware, napkins, and placemats – leave the crystal and china to older children and/or adults).

For familiar products and produce, preschoolers can begin to help with the Thanksgiving shopping at the store (with supervision). It can be a lot of fun for them to pick out the right apples for the pie and to grab the acorn squash that’s at their reaching level.

School-Age Kids

Here are when things get fun. Once a child can read, he or she can (supervised) put together a dish of his or her own. My oldest has always made the deviled eggs for Thanksgiving and Easter, for as long as I can remember. Let your child choose an easy-to make with minimal help from mom or dad dish, and be in charge of that dish.

School age kids can also help cut and prep ingredients, given that they are tall enough to reach the surface they are cutting on without a stool or sitting on knees on a chair. You can use a kids’ table for this. You just don’t want your child to lose balance and fall backwards with a knife in his or her hands. Pre-teens can help to stir items on the stove – again, with the caveat that they do not need a step or chair to do so. Baking pies is a great activity for this age.

These children can also set the table in its entirety, and help to decorate the tablescape.

As children learn to read, you can assign them to get ingredients at the store that are at their arm level. You can even give older tweens (10, 11, 12) their own list to be responsible for at the store.

Teenagers

I put my teenager in charge of several items every year. By this age, they should know their way around the kitchen, be able to read and modify recipes, and know and understand all basic kitchen chores. Let your teenager choose a few recipes and then be in charge of researching them and adding the ingredients to their own shopping list, and then having them grab their items at the store. You get points for giving them a budget to work with, as this is an important life skill.

Because I have kids with a wide age-discrepancy, my oldest in the past has made his own recipes, helped with other recipes and things like washing dishes between making different things, and supervised younger siblings as they carried out their roles.

Making it a Fun Holiday

The best part of Thanksgiving is the tradition of togetherness that surrounds the holiday. Allowing children to be involved with the prep for any holiday makes for a nice tradition in and of itself. Be sure to allow for extra time if you’re involving small hands – that will help to give you more patience, and make sure the experience is a positive one for everyone.

It is Not Just "Boys Being Boys"

It is Not Just “Boys Being Boys”

by with 5 Comments EmpowermentVoices

The “Horror Movie” is back! Just like the Australian band the Skyhooks used to sing – “It’s the six-thirty news! Right there on my tv!”  It is irksome, maddening and frustrating when a I thought we could sit down together to watch the news, we catch a snippet of gangs harassing people, particularly women, being described as “boys being boys!”

A presenter, excusing this unlawful behaviour as boys always follow the leader!  Have they thought through the message they are presenting to our children, and society? Particularly, to the young men and women watching these stories unfold!

Please think before you speak:  Our children are listening!

Upon changing the channel over to a different news report because my young son does not need to hear how a woman standing up for her rights is facing formidable ostracizing.  No reprieve is forthcoming, in summary another reporter describing the bunch of hooligans as predators and then subtly suggesting an erroneous assessment as there were only questionable victims seeking justice (translation = young woman with their friends in the evening).

Then we come to the memes about the news story. My goodness, many feed into the very behaviour we wish to eliminate! Think! Children are watching! I wish people would be more thoughtful creating them.

People forget that children look up to them and are monitoring their actions. What happened to giving alms to the poor and protecting the weak?

What happened?

  • What happened to empowering those that would speak out and stand up for others?
  • What happened to the amnesty for whistle-blowers?
  • What happened that allows harassing and predatory behavior to be excused as “boys being boys”?
  • What happened to make it acceptable behavior to blame the victim?
  • What happened to justify “trial by media” developing as the only way victims may secure consideration?

The issues I fear are greater though – worrying about someone being falsely accused when there are symptoms of dis-ease infiltrating our society. This is what leads to the real fear our daughters may be assaulted!

Our children should be safe playing in the street, at the movies, going to a friend’s party, or shopping with a friend! We, as parents, grandparents and guardians of children should not have to second-guess our decision anytime we let our child leave our side.

I have again turned off the horror movie on the tv, but it had already had a resounding effect on my young son. I am now answering his questions, carefully, one by one.

Parenting young sons and a daughter does not need to become more difficult!  Mothers need to learn how boys’ brains work. Instinctively, we can make a reasonable guess on our daughters’ concerns.

Boys think differently. They act differently.

Before you jump up and down, there is science to support this remark. Boys hang out together – typical boy behavior mothers across the world encourage for developing healthy energetic sons. Honestly, their energy level makes me dizzy! Sending them to go rumble and play is a sanity saving exercise for mothers. I can channel my daughter’s energy into positive easily without the extra exercise because I am a girl.

Although, with two younger brothers “outside to play, please” works quite well for the time being. The exasperating, trial-and-error filled experience that ensue on occasion, for a mother finding the same positive distraction for her small sons does not leave one looking favorably on media who are not thinking through their remarks.

Small mischievous boys grow up to be kind caring young men whilst playing with their siblings and friends. Some enjoy playing soccer, playing chess, making cupcakes for afternoon snacks before dinner time, kidnapping the washing from the washing machine to hang on the line without being asked, and watching Star Wars movies, and the like, so that they can be discussed ad nausea.  Usefully engaging is the aim of the game here, and whether athletic or geeky these activities should be described as “Boys being Boys”!

Playing is how we learn the right way to do things so:

Let’s teach all our children, no matter how small, when someone says “No!” “Stop!” “I don’t like it!”, then it is everyone’s responsibility to ensure the game stops regardless of whether you are a boy or girl, and even if everyone was having fun the minute before!

Let’s stop small boys asking questions like “Do they think we are all bad?”

Let’s help our children are safe all of the time!

Let’s not use “Boys being Boys” as an excuse…

 

Being Creative in Teaching Kids About Indian Culture

Being Creative in Teaching Kids About Indian Culture

by with 7 Comments Voicesworld changersworld changers

At Raising World Children, we are on the constant look out for world changers. People who are trying in small or big ways to make the world a better place. Today, we meet Ajanta Chakraborty, a fascinating woman of wonder : choreographer, author, you tube content creator, teacher, mom and much much more !

1. What exactly do you do?

I am the co-founder of Culture Groove  and Bollywood Groove

  • Culture Groove publishes bestselling children’s books and has an educational kids YouTube channel.
  • Bollywood Groove teaches 30+ dance & fitness classes in Chicago to kids and adults.

2. How did you come about this passion/profession?

A techie by profession, I worked in Silicon Valley for 7 years before realizing that my true passion was to spread the joy of Indian culture! In 2011, I quit my job to pursue Bollywood Groove first and then Culture Groove and have never looked back.

3. Tell us about your family.

My husband, who is also the co-author of our Maya/Neel book series, and I live in Chicago with our 4-year-old son. Other than the usual trucks and light sabers, my son has developed a strong interest in our work. He is officially a YouTuber helping his mom teach about India! The funniest experience is watching him trying to sell our books at various events 😊

4. How many places have you lived? How has that affected your world view?

I was born and raised in the small city of Bhopal in India. Since then, I have lived in Vancouver, Canada for education, California for work and now in Chicago.

Living in multiple cities has given me the unique immigrant lens of learning, comparing and picking the best of two worlds. It also opened my mind to not only embrace diversity but also strive to make it a norm.

5. What do you think are three biggest struggles most parents go through teaching kids about Indian culture?

  • The lack of quality and fun content. A lot of the content is either superficial – they provide very little actual knowledge or they are too boring for kids to engage in.
  • The lack of non-religious content. Believe it or not, there are lot of families like ours. They want their kids to learn about the cultural aspects without religion.
  • We have to accept that kids of Indian origin around the world are growing up in a different environment than someone in India. No matter what we are trying to teach them about our culture, it has to be done in a relatable manner. The 100% immersion is not the right approach for every kid and it’s hard to find resources that adhere to that mindset.

6.  How do you suggest parents encourage kids to follow their passions?

Don’t impose your dreams on them. Let them navigate the world at their own pace and in their own way. We are supposed to give them wings and watch them fly. Teach them the importance of finding joy in their everyday life. My parents did precisely that I am incredibly grateful for that.

6. Please tell us about your vision to teaching kids about the world.

We have a 3-fold mission with our work:

  • Help raise multicultural kids irrespective of their ethnicity and background. This extends to adults as well!
  • Help kids connect to their roots.
  • Help kids of color to see themselves in literature and media.

This is exactly what has driven us to teach a unique combination of dance and culture classes to 200 kids every year; to write children’s books exploring festivals, places and cultural concepts of India; and finally to create a free learning resource via our YouTube channel.

8. What are your three top advice to parents?

  • Read, read, read to your kids! It is such a wonderful way to open up their minds.
  • Teach your kids that there are many ways to live in this world – try new foods, explore a different festival, do something that helps them experience the diversity in this world.
  • Constantly reinforce the message of standing up to discrimination, intolerance and bias because of who they are. Proactively help them gain pride of their origin, their orientation, and anything else that the society boxes them in.

9. How does one raise multicultural kids today in an ever evolving world?

I believe it is actually getting easier. With technology bringing the world closer together, we now have more opportunities to learn about each other. Even in places where there is an environment of intolerance, I see parents and educators working ever harder to ensure that the kids grow up with an outlook of acceptance.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL

10. Do you have anything exciting for our readers?

We produced 8 books in 2 years so there is always something exciting 😊 Our latest book is about Delhi and Taj Mahal and it recently hit the Amazon bookshelves. But we are equally excited about our videos. We add one new video a week and there is so much more coming in the way of learning about Indian languages, festivals, food, clothes etc. We request parents and educators to help us spread the word about this free resource and to join us in our mission: CultureGroove.com/YouTube.

Let’s Raise Multicultural Kids!

Click here to join parents raising multicultural children on Facebook !

Click here to buy Ajanta’s Latest BestSelling Diwali Book right NOW! Makes a great Diwali gift. 

How Can You Be Creative in Teaching Kids about Any Culture. Meet Ajanta Chakraborty, woman of wonder.

 

The "Gift" of Being Special

The “Gift” of Being Special

by with 6 Comments MindsetVoices

Oh! Why you?
You can’t do this..
Dear, you are not the one for the task
Please, leave ,you are not the gifted one !!

Gifted one!!
I mean
Who can judge
Whether you are gifted or not??

It’s just the perceptional thought to push the person back to his den..
Taking shelter of the ‘gifted’ word
Some people take their lethargy to a superior position.
And some people gets a chance to pull you down.

Really ! It happens !!
Contrarily, your hard-work can make you ‘gifted’
May be you might become the ‘gifted one’
That you had desired all through your lives…

Running away from labor,
Becoming a staunch believer
Of so called ‘destiny’
Never really helps!!

What helps in every situation
Is just the belief–
Things don’t happen on their own
You have to make them happen..

The choice is yours
Become the gifted one by your own choice
Or
Remain the ordinary one glancing other ‘gifted ones’..
There’s no substitute for hardwork

There’s no shortcut to your desired goals
Nobody can stop you if you dare to win.
The sooner you understand
The better it is for you
And the more benefit you get

The more happy you will be
Simultaneously, the more ‘gifted’
You’ll be called.
Believe in yourself!

The world will believe in you !!

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Begin Gardening Now

by with 8 Comments EducationParentingVoices

Gardening is a habit that is typically associated with the elderly. We all know a grandmother or a grandfather who spends their time digging up weeds in their plot of land in the backyard, and making it bloom with wonderful colors.

We know that it is relaxing for them, and we know that it makes them happy. But did you know that gardening can also be practiced by children? In fact, it is recommended that you let your kids learn how to garden. Why? Here is how gardening benefits kids, and here are five reasons why your child should garden.

Appreciation for Greens and Vegetables

It is no secret that children will prefer never to eat fruits and vegetables if they can help it, and this is a pressing problem for many households all over the world.

While changing this tendency may not happen overnight, it can happen when you allow your children to learn about what it takes to plant and grow their own greens. Many parents of children who garden have found that kids will eat more fruits and vegetables when they have personally grown it themselves.

Adoption of a Lasting Life Skill

Gardening is not just about putting something in soil and waiting for it to bloom. It is a veritable lesson in hard work, patience, and caring – and these are things that any child should learn, at an early age.

Kids who garden can grow up to be mature, level-headed adults who understand the value of hard work, and who will always make sure that they do what they can to make good things happen. When you teach your child to garden, you set him or her up for a life of beautiful things.

Better Appreciation of Food and Less Wastefulness

Many children are wasteful, when it comes to food. They think of nothing about not finishing their meals and throwing away the scraps. If your child has this habit, you can help weed it out of him or her by letting him or learn explore how the food that they eat grows.

Parents of children who garden have noticed that when their child learned to garden, they were less likely to waste food, and they grew to appreciate it better, even those that they did not plant and grow.

 

A Life Free From the Influence of Gadgets

It is normal for children in this day and age to want to spend a portion of their day in front of a television, mobile, or computer screen, but it becomes a problem when children spend too much time in front of the screen. Gardening helps remind your child that there is a whole other world beyond the contents of their television sets and computers, and this is a lesson that you will want them to know, from the get-go.

This can help prevent future problems and even make sure that your child learns to navigate the world around him or her better than most of his or her peers would.

Bonding Time with the Family

Finally, letting your children learn to garden can be the new family bonding that you need. There is something very special about the collective work that you do, and you can learn to appreciate each other better through this shared pastime. Your children will also look forward to staying at home when they know that they can take part in an activity that they will enjoy, with the people that they love.

Getting Started with Gardening for Children

If you’re ready to take your kids out to see the joys of gardening, there are a couple of things to remember. Here are some of the most important of them.

Provide proper guidance and support. If you yourself garden, you can personally give hands-on training to your kids so that they learn about gardening, straight from you. If you don’t, you can opt to hire somebody to teach them, or you can make use of many resources so that you can guide them through the first few days.

However you choose to do it, just make sure that you are there to offer support. Be mindful of their questions and concerns, and get them the guidance that they need. Pretty soon, they will be able to stand on their own, and then you will have planted something that will grow into something magnificent in the future.

Provide proper incentives. It is also recommended that you make gardening as appealing as possible to your children. For instance, you can promise to prepare a delicious snack after their time in the garden. Similarly, you can build them a veritable paradise that is dedicated to fairy gardening in Australia or in other areas or in other areas, through decorative gardening accessories.

Encourage the habit. Finally, let your children know that they can turn to you for help and support, when and if they need it. Grow with them as they grow, enjoy with them as they enjoy, and be there to applaud every milestone that they achieve.

Shawn T. Thompson is a well-known blogger who has a wide variety of interests and specializes in doing in-depth research of garden. He is a Writer, Editor & Blogger. Love to gardening. He is currently a blogger for Earth Fairy in a genuine effort to provide the best quality content to her readers.

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The Loneliness Parents Don't Talk About

The Loneliness Parents Don’t Talk About

by with 10 Comments EmpowermentParentingStay at HomeVoices

Parenting is a paradox. You are constantly surrounded by people and yet, extremely alone in the challenges you face. And No one talks about how isolating the solitude is and how utterly dark it can get within.

I lived 5 years by myself before being married. Had many meals, enjoyed movies, trips to the market, holed up in my room reading happily. I have always known how to be by myself. But being lonely within a family is an alternate reality.

And yet you do not see anyone discussing how lonely being a parent can become. You may know yourself before but after having kids you sometimes slowly lose the connections you had and sometimes yourself as well.

Before having kids, you are flitting around parties, going out whenever you want and having friends over at the drop of a hat. After the babies are born, the most well meaning friends stay away so as to give you space to adjust, so much so that the phone stops ringing.

The babies keep you on your toes and the words, “needs to be fed” and “needs a nap” have you rushing home. As they grow up, their random tantrums and exhausted crying have you wishing you had just stayed home.

Your friends who do not have children do not understand the urgency created by a restless child (on the verge of a tantrum). Friends who are not drama free are distanced from without conscious thought because you honestly do not have anything left to give to them. After all, your time is already consumed by kids’ tantrums.

The few couples who do have children may be ones with whom your kids just don’t get along with and even if they do, it may happen that your parenting philosophies don’t match. In the end, you end up with little to no friends with whom you can relax. Slowly, as the kids grow up you realize school, classes, birthday parties and chores leave you with no actual time in which to socialize.

The Isolation of Parenting

It eats at you, this slow isolation that happened without you actually being aware. Humans are a social group. We need connections in order to thrive and in fact survive. Social media does not help as you see the best moments of other families enjoying their apple picking and parties. You do not realize it is not real life but a reel life that you see on screen. Everyone goes through the same pains but do not care to reach out during them instead only coming to you with their joys.

Social media is no help for it only makes you feel, how others are managing the same milestones so much better. Here you are wallowing alone on weekends and others seem to be partying through parenthood.

You grow cranky and exhausted without those few precious moments with people with whom you just laugh and be carefree. And if, within that time your spouse has to travel for work, you end up being completely isolated without any adult conversation and no one to express your frustrations to.

All of the above happened to me. To top it all, all my acquaintances and one of my best friends moved away. There was a period of 6 months when I literally scrabbled to understand what it was that I was going through. I grew listless, irritable, going through the motions, developing aches and pains that I couldn’t justify.

What was worse was, I started pushing away the couple of friends I did have left. I started stalking them on social media, obsessing over who was doing what, and whey they weren’t doing it with me. Why they hadn’t commented on my photos, why I wasn’t invited to one party but not the other , etc. I had the time in which to create a pity party in which I was Chief Guest.

One day I realized I was just ruining my own peace of mine. This wasn’t who I wanted to be. I needed to channel my energies positively and find outlets for myself. Empower myself to be a better mom and person. No one but me that could get me out of this hole I had dug up.

What did I do? Well, I pushed all the below up a notch. These are tips I think would help you too.

Celebrate Everything

Even if it’s a small win. Or a celebration no one else cares about. Light some candles, make a dinner. Have an impromptu party with the kids. Do not ever let your kids be affected by what you are going through. Teach them the importance of living life to the fullest.

I believe in enjoying life to the fullest now. Celebrating Valentines day my way, even if my husband doesn’t want to plan anything on this commercial holiday.

Find A Mission

I joined a non profit called Circle of Peace International, and worked with them using all the social media knowledge I had to help spread the word about them.

There are many non profits out there that need people to give a helping hand. Find a cause to support. Use your talents in any small way to be there for those less fortunate. Even if it is just making cards or ornaments for the festive season, doing something for another less fortunate helps not only them but is good for your soul.

Take Care of Your Body

Walks and runs are good for exercise but more than that the fresh air, open spaces and silence is good for your soul. Going to the spa is not just a matter of luxury but your body being pampered reaches out to your mind to soothe it. If you cannot afford the spa, use at home remedies to invigorate your senses.

Give yourself nurturing time. Dress up and go to town for no reason other than you want to look pretty for yourself.

Get a Baby Sitter

This is an issue most Indian families face who are not used to hiring baby sitters, specially when living in USA far from family they trust.

I cannot stress this enough. If you have no family or friends to assist, find a baby sitter in your community that you can trust with your children for even a few hours. Or better yet, let your husband take over. Yes! He’s not a baby sitter but the father. But let’s face is. Not most dads are hands on all the time and this time alone with the kids is a great way to get to know the kids uniquely.

Get out of the house by yourself, go shopping, read a book or if possible catch up with an old friend.

Pursue an Interest

My biggest solution was nurturing my passion for writing and creating.

You need to have a passion to feed your inner self. Writing, gardening, painting, find something that helps you grow. Creating something other than your children’s schedule for the day is extremely essential.  Me time in which you are not watching TV  or reading a book but putting something out there. Using your body and mind to create

Find Your Tribe Again

Reach out to your old friends. Make new ones. Many a times for no reason people just grow apart. Even if they do not have kids, even if your children do not get along, do not let it affect your relationships. Talk to the person at the park.  Converse with others, learning what their life is about.

Everyone needs someone, and maybe by reaching out for a coffee or a drink that someone could be you being there for them. Be the first one to be a friend. Be for someone, what you need in your own life.

Disconnect

Step away from the social media apps. Switch off the TV. Dare yourself to not log into the accounts on certain days or hours of a day. The silence virtual and real, will force you to think up ways to occupy your time more productively.

Let’s face it. A lot of anything does more harm than good.

Meditate

Take a few moments to empty your mind of all the schedules and multi tasking clutter and empty it to let thoughts in. As we need air to breathe, we need our senses to be able to feel every single moment in it’s totality, something we rarely do in the daily grind that is life.

Be Your Own Friend

I realized I had become dependent on having a friend to be with when I was not with the kids. I needed to grow myself in a way that I could to appreciate. While being with my kids watching them play is amazing, having them with me had become a crutch that I needed subconsciously. Going out means going out for grocery or to run errands. Don’t just do that. Go out to do something that you love that is not connected with children. Spend time with yourself and the experience the world as it was meant to be.

Most importantly, do not feel you are ever alone. You just need to reach out, physically or metaphorically. And the universe will take care of the rest. Give yourself a chance to love yourself.

  Aditi Wardhan Singh is a mom of two, living it up in Richmond Virginia in USA. Raised in Kuwait, being Indian by birth she has often felt out of place. A computer engineer by profession, she is now a freelance writer and entrepreneur having founded Raising World Children. Impromptu dance parties and trips to the library with her little ones are her ultimate picker upper. She provides tools to open minded parents to empower their children to raise positive, gracious, global thought leaders. She currently writes for the HuffingtonPost, Thrive Global, RMB and is author in “When You Are Done Expecting ”. Her own book Strong Roots Have No Fear comes out soon.

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

When Did Being a Mom Become a Competitive Sport?

by with 5 Comments MindsetParentingSocial MediaVoices

Competitive momming is a problem, a big problem. It feels as though we’ve lost our villages, especially when everyone on social media seems to be playing the one-upsmanship game.The thing is, competitive parenting isn’t new, it’s just that we see it a lot more.

Feeling as though life is a competition can lead to some pretty bad problems with depression, especially for new moms.  Here are some ways to deal with it when it comes up – whether in person or online.

Ask yourself if the person is actually trying to compete.

Sometimes, what we take as competition really isn’t. A mom may be socially awkward and may be trying to relate to you. Others may be trying to share something that they’re excited about, but it’s not translating that way on social media, or the delivery is off.

Sometimes, too, when we feel someone’s trying to compete, it’s really more about ourselves. We might feel that we’re lacking in some way or another and misread the intent as snarky. It’s important to try to see through what’s being said to what’s being intended.

Ask yourself why the person might be trying to compete

Might the individual in question be experiencing feelings of self-consciousness or guilt him or herself? This can cause people to be more competitive than they ordinarily would be. For example, a mom who is feeling guilty about having her child in day care because her family is trying to shame her for working or who is self-conscious because she’s a stay-at-home mom and getting flack about not working may come off as more snarky than she intends to if she’s put on the defensive.

If you feel that the person may be acting in a competitive way from a place of vulnerability, validate his or her claim, then complement the person on something that she’s doing well.

Don’t feed the troll

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where a parent is one-upping others or maybe you. Joey did great on his spelling test, so Debbie feels the need to comment that her Chandler got skipped a grade ahead, and Alison states that her Gina is homeschooled and working at an 8th grade level at age 7.

Don’t give into the impulse to pile on. Yes, maybe Alex just got another belt level in karate, but does it need to be said? Instead, go back to the original focus, Joey, and tell his mom to congratulate him on the good work he’s done.

The pile of stuff competition

I see this every holiday season, and it’s something that personally makes me nuts. A parent either posts about not giving kids a bunch of toys, or sticking to 4 gifts, or posts a photo of an overstuffed Easter basket or overflowing Christmas tree. People pile onto the original poster and attempt to shame the person into doing things their way.

No matter how bad you might want to, don’t add to it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extreme giver or a four gifter or you do no gifts at all but experiences and others do differently. What does matter is that what your tradition is makes you and your family happy.

Watch your own urge to compete

It’s natural to want to show off your child, but remember, your child’s achievements belong to him or her, not you. It’s one thing to share those achievements, it’s another to brag about them.

Before you comment on someone else’s post or announcement with a competitive bend, ask yourself if you’re really adding something to the conversation. It may be better to instead congratulate the person and save your own announcement for another time.

What have you done to reduce competition?

What actions have you used to reduce competition when you’ve seen it? Have you found something that works well to de-escalate the situation? Share in the comments.

When did Parenting Become a Competitive Sport? Parenting Competition needs to be avoided

  Freelance writer and entrepreneur Ronda Bowen has been publishing articles on a variety of topics including parRonda Bowen Raising World Children – Where Cultures Meet Parentingenting and education for the past decade after leaving a graduate program in philosophy. She has four children ranging in age from 6 months to 19 years old. She believes that it is vital to raise children to be globally aware and to have empathy for others. Current projects include two blogs, political website, fundraising for an international non-profit organization, and a handmade business.