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Have the Period Talk for Inclusion and Empathy

“Auntyji”, “Chums”, “Aurton wali problem”, “those days” …

It’s interesting how even today many cultures , specially South Asians will not say periods let alone talk about them.
They still carry around the stigma attached to periods and the myths surrounding them.

In olden times women in India were given those 4-7 days OFF so they could finally relax from all the house work. They were kept out of the kitchen, even house in some rural areas. Houses were joint family so they could afford to have ONE women out of circulation at the time.

Today, imagine if every month, I stayed in a room. Who would take care of my family, my obligations?

We as a culture have been split into TWO thoughts.

Those who now include girls even after they “mature”. Many households have girls participate in traditions. Plus with nuclear families, I personally would hate my daughter or ANY daughter be excluded on this sole criteria.

Others prefer you not for personal reasons or traditional values which of course be respected as well.

This, of course is more about personal choice but I bring forward this topic today to have that conversation with your daughters about their periods and respecting others’ choices. With kids as young as 10 hitting puberty, it’s important to teach them acceptance that school won’t.

We don’t want to raise a generation divided that goes , “Hawww! Why did you come ?? ‘ OR ” I will do what I want regardless of your personal beliefs.”

Also that most girls experience this universal situation in different ways each month. I lived in a girls hostel and it was incredible that not one person had the.exact same symptoms as myself.

Let’s teach them to be kind and understanding, specially welcoming to guests. Or it ostrcize someone on this basis.

Let’s talk to our daughters before the school so it’s not a HUGE surprise. Let’s not assume our daughters have “grown up” just because they body is. They are still little with a lot to comprehend. Let’s prepare them for a lifetime of pain.

I still remember my first day. A surprise to say the least. Just blank acceptance of 7 days of Horrible pain and discomfort going forward. I am so glad TODAY there ARE resources to support us during our hardest days of the months. Educate yourself to empower your girls. Boys too

Have you had the discussion with your kids ? Would you talk to your boys?


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15 Books to Empower Preteen Boys for Tomorrow

The emotional and personal growth of boys is often less looked after. It’s harder if you had a child who does not like to talk much. But if your child likes reading, the below books help empower them to be the best version of themselves by preparing them, through stories, role models and literal situations to derive life lessons from.

Preteen boys are specially curious and struggling with a lot going on internally. It is so much more important to give them the right tools to deal with or learn about challenges everyone faces. Highly essential to raise kind humans who are empathetic and accepting of all.

Just a mention, while my son has read quite a few of the below, he has also read the American girl series for girls which is divided into a number of topics like Staying Home Alone, Worrying, Finances, Relationships and more that are important for boys to know as well as girls.

In this digital age, there is still a place for knots, skimming stones and stories of incredible courage. This book recaptures Sunday afternoons, stimulates curiosity, and makes for great father-son activities. The brothers Conn and Hal have put together a wonderful collection of all things that make being young or young at heart fun—building go-carts and electromagnets, identifying insects and spiders, and flying the world’s best paper airplanes.

How Our Skin Sparkles

Does your boy have friends who look different than him? Or does he look different from his peers? It is overwhelming how many insecurities we carry within our selves, specially as children of the world. This book is perfect for kids of color to learn about how their actions speak louder than their appearance. With easy to read rhymes, sibling love, Indian culture and concept, this story talks about how one can truly see everyone as they are inside. This book is a must have for any boy who wants to learn a little more about themselves, the world around them and how we truly sparkle!

I am

In this book for boys, author Ayesha Rodriguez uses rhyming verses, followed by a positive affirmation. I am and the words that follow are powerful. Repeated affirmations will build up your child’s self-esteem and transform his sense of self!

 

Guy Stuff : The Boy Book for Boys

From the author of the bestselling Care & Keeping of You series! This book will provide you with the answers that will help you take care of yourself better, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to shaving, acne to voice changes, and everything in between. With tips, how-tos, and facts from a real pediatrician, it’s the perfect book to help you learn about your body’s changes.

American Boy’s Handy Book

Long before The Dangerous Book for Boys became all the rage , there was the American Boy’s Handy Book. Every father and grandfather should have this on his shelf, waiting there for a boy to pull it off and start leafing through. Dozens of awesome (and unlike another book, some actually dangerous) hands on projects for boys to tackle from how to build kites and forts to how to rear wild birds and trap animals. Originally published in 1882 and still a must for every boy today.

 

 

I appreciate the way this book so very warmly and passionately displays ultra positive and inspirational images of young men of color. I’ve read books that trail along similar empowering themes. My kids literally become enchanted by the messages and images, so much so, that they would crave re-reads of the stories. What I cherish the most is seeing my precious students self-select one of these books for independent reading!

Best of Iggy

Meet 9-year-old Iggy Frangi. He’s not a bad kid, he’s really not. Okay, so he’s done a few (a few is anything up to 100) bad things. And okay, he’s not very sorry about most of them. People make a big deal about nothing. What’s a little pancake here and there? Is that something to get mad about? Iggy doesn’t think so. No one got hurt, so there’s no problem. No one got hurt except for that one time, that one time when the Best Idea Ever turned into the Worst Idea of All Time.

Stories for Boys Who Dare to be Different

You won’t find any stories of slaying dragons or saving princesses here. In Stories for Boys Who Dare to Be Different, author Ben Brooks-with the help of Quinton Wintor’s striking full-color illustrations-offers a welcome alternative narrative: one that celebrates introverts and innovators, sensitivity and resilience, individuality and expression.

Middle School is the Worst

Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he’s got an ace plan for the best year ever: to break every rule in his school’s oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class: 5,000 points! Running in the hallway: 10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm: 50,000 points! But when Rafe’s game starts to catch up with him, he’ll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he’s finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he’s been avoiding.

Tight

Lately Bryan’s been feeling it in all kinds of ways. He knows what’s tight for him in a good way–reading comics, drawing superheroes, and hanging out with no drama. But drama’s hard to escape where he’s from, and that gets him wound up tight.

And now Bryan’s new friend Mike is challenging him to have fun in ways that are crazy risky. At first, it’s a rush following Mike, hopping turnstiles, subway surfing, and getting into all kinds of trouble. But Bryan never feels right acting wrong. So which way will he go when he understands that drama is so not his style? Fortunately his favorite comic heroes shed light on his dilemma, reminding him that he has power–the power to choose his friends and to stand up for what he believes is right . . .

He may be clueless, but the comically self-confident Timmy Failure is CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. This is a series full of humor that help you aspire to greatness.

Timmy Failure

August Pullman was born with a facial difference that, up until now, has prevented him from going to a mainstream school. Starting 5th grade at Beecher Prep, he wants nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary kid—but his new classmates can’t get past Auggie’s extraordinary face. WONDER, now a #1 New York Times bestseller and included on the Texas Bluebonnet Award master list, begins from Auggie’s point of view, but soon switches to include his classmates, his sister, her boyfriend, and others. These perspectives converge in a portrait of one community’s struggle with empathy, compassion, and acceptance.

Okay for Now

In this companion novel to The Wednesday Wars, Doug struggles to be more than the “skinny thug” that some people think him to be. He finds an unlikely ally in Lil Spicer, who gives him the strength to endure an abusive father, the suspicions of a town, and the return of his oldest brother, forever scarred, from Vietnam. Schmidt expertly weaves multiple themes of loss and recovery in a story teeming with distinctive, unusual characters and invaluable lessons about love, creativity, and survival.

The Boy Who Never Gave Up

It is the inspiring true story of NBA superstar Stephen Curry. This Fully illustrated picture book biography tells the story of a young boy who many said was too short to play in high school, too weak to play in college and not good enough to play in the NBA.
Against all odds, this small boy who follows his dream, not only makes it to the NBA, but becomes one of the greatest players to ever play the game of basketball.

Boy’s Body Book

Things can get rocky during puberty. That’s why we made the Boy’s Body Book. The updated fifth edition of this #1 bestselling book made just for boys contains everything you need to know about growing up, even the embarrassing stuff; it also includes topical issues like school safety and consent. Author and nurse Kelli Dunham covers everything from body changes to planning for college, giving pre-teen boys the answers they need to prepare for puberty and beyond.

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Kids Have No Place in Social Media Influencing

Unpopular opinion. Kids have no place in social media influencing.

Teen Tik Tok stars in India are killing themselves after the ban of Tik tok.

Other kids have died while making videos for social media sites. Still others have killed themselves coz no one was “liking” their videos.

It is unfortunate that kids today are so ill equipped to handle an overload of emotions.

We make them join N number of zoom classes, want them to become overnight stars and more. But when it comes to giving them an all rounded development, are we doing a good enough job?

During the lockdown more than ever, I have seen kids aged 7-13 and teens overnight becoming authors, teachers, entrepreneurs, youtubers, tik tokers, influencers. SMH

And this is not a “Let’s try this out and have fun with it.”

It’s a, “This is my job now. “Their parents are managers or have have professional people managing their life.

What in the world have we come to when we feel the need to PUSH our kids to be the BEST versions of themselves in front of the WORLD?

Why can’t we let kids be kids?

They have a talent. Just share it on a blog, on account without promoting it and asking people/strangers to subscribe to it.

Yes! I know not every child who is in in the online sphere will kill themselves but it WILL CERTAINLY have a detrimental effect on how they VALUE themselves.

The virtual world is NOT a safe one. Specially not emotionally. Why then are we not talking about moderation to them.

As an entrepreneur, you need to be MINDFUL and CONSCIOUS about your actions. About YOUR INFLUENCE. About WHEN TO STEP BACK. And when to KEEP PUSHING. When to pivot and when to just STOP. When to LISTEN and when to LET GO.

Do we think CHILDREN have that sense? Hell! I’m 40 and still learning all the above. And I have been in the online space since 7+ years in totality now. Kids are just NOT mature enough for it ALL.

Yes! Some kids are specially gifted. And they will naturally be recognized.

Trust time! Talent gets honed with age, experience, and practice. Let’s provide kids the space to grow naturally.

Let them have MINDSET to grow and then let them seek out their path. This is why my book talks a lot about how parents can nurture talents and build a growth mindset early.

Our world currently is SO CHILD DRIVEN, that we as parents have lost our paths.

My kids often say, “I want to be a youtuber.” I tell them. The online space is not a safe one. I work in it. I know the ups and downs. Plus, I do not want them to hang their validation at SUCH a young age on numbers, likes and metrics. Maybe when they are 21+ and KNOW what they want to dedicate their life to.

Instead these growing years should be about what kind of a person they become.

Sigh! This is my plea to parents who want their kids to shine. Take a breather. Their time will come. Let them live their life in the outdoors. Running in the sun. Playing with friends. Talking online to friends in a safe space. Just love them for WHO they are NOW.

They have a lifetime be become who they were meant to be.


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What is the Guru Shishya Parampara?

This Guru Purnima, let’s go back in time to learn about the Teacher-Student traditions in ancient India.

Two Guru Mantras that are essential to this are –

त्वमेव माता च पिता त्वमेव । त्वमेव बन्धुश्च सखा त्वमेव ।
त्वमेव विद्या द्रविणम् त्वमेव । त्वमेव सर्वम् मम देव देव ॥

Tvam-Eva Maataa Ca Pitaa Tvam-Eva |
Tvam-Eva Bandhush-Ca Sakhaa Tvam-Eva |
Tvam-Eva Viidyaa Dravinnam Tvam-Eva |
Tvam-Eva Sarvam Mama Deva Deva ||

Meaning:

1: You Truly are my Mother And You Truly are my Father .
2: You Truly are my Relative And You Truly are my Friend.
3: You Truly are my Knowledge and You Truly are my Wealth.
4: You Truly are my All, My God of Gods.

 गुरुर्ब्रह्मा गुरुर्विष्णु र्गुरुर्देवो महेश्वरः गुरु साक्षात परब्रह्मा तस्मै श्रीगुरवे नमः

GururBrahma GururVishnu GururDevo Maheshwaraha
Guru Saakshaat ParaBrahma Tasmai Sri Gurave Namaha

 

Guru is the Creator (Brahma), Guru is the Preserver(Vishnu), GuruDeva is Destroyer(Maheshwara)

Guru is the absolute (singular) Lord himself, Salutations to that Sri Guru

These prayers are for anyone who nurtures teachings within a child. In Indian culture, the guru shishya parampara (aka teacher student tradition) used to be strong. Where THIS is the emotion one held for the person who gave their wisdom to another, while honing what already existed. And then Guru Dakshina (payment in different forms) given were the Guru earned what was rightfully theirs for all their hard work.

Guru Purnima honours Ved Vyasa, known as one of the most honoured Gurus of ancient India. Senior Ayurvedic consultant Dr Vishakha Mahindroo says, “Veda Vyasa, structured the four Vedas, composed the epic of the Mahabharata, created the foundation for the many Puranas and the vast encyclopedias of Hindu sacred lore. Guru Purnima represents the date on which Lord Shiva as the Adi Guru or original guru taught the seven rishis who were the seers of the Vedas.

In the Yoga Sutras, Ishvara as Pranava or Om is said to be the Adi Guru of Yoga. Lord Buddha was said to have delivered his first sermon on this day at Sarnath, reflecting the power of this sacred time.”

Within the broad spectrum of the Hindu religion, the guru–shishya relationship can be found in numerous variant forms. Some common elements in this relationship include:

  • The establishment of a teacher/student relationship.
  • A formal recognition of this relationship, generally in a structured initiation ceremony where the guru accepts the initiate as a shishya and also accepts responsibility for the spiritual well-being and progress of the new shishya.
  • Sometimes this initiation process will include the conveying of specific wisdom and/or techniques.
  • Gurudakshina, where the shishya gives a gift to the guru as a token of gratitude, often the only monetary or otherwise fee that the student ever gives. Such tokens can be as simple as a piece of fruit or as serious as a thumb, as in the case of Ekalavya and his guru Dronacharya.

In today’s time, we can honor our teachers on this day by showing respect and gratitude and trusting in their judgment.

  • Acknowledgement. Let them know the effect they brought in your life.
  • Cards / hand made creations.
  • Respectful listening.
  • Appreciation of their efforts.
  • Imbibing their lessons through retention and practice.


In my book, Strong Roots Have No Fear, I have gone in depth about how one can go about finding the right teachers for your student and nurturing the talents / personal growth of a child.

‘Vishnu Sahatranam’ also known as the thousand names of Lord Vishnu should be recited on this day. Be in sync with self and channelize your energies on this auspicious day.”

Most importantly, today honor the teacher in your life, who changed your way of thinking or made you feel better about yourself. Who left an impact.

Be that person in a child’s life. ♥️🙏🏽

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Depression is Not a Switch

 
 Those who know me personally, know that I am not in a good space these days. Anyone who asks how I’m feeling gets the truthful answer that I’m not feeling okay.
 
It is a million things. Covid | Kids upset | Home school over whelm | Recent hatred overflowing among people | The lack of connection | The constant processing of things to “try to be upbeat” | work stress and the selfishness people show CONSTANTLY.
 
There was a recent straw that broke the camel’s back.
 
I have LOVE from all quarters and lots of well meaning people who keep telling me to just “get over it”.
 
Now I know the practical things that need to be done in order get out of my personal “FUNK”.
 
🌼Unplug
🌼Take a walk
🌼Exercise
🌼Talk to friends
🌼Look at my blessings
🌼 … and simple things that distract.

 
I am happy to say I have been blessed to have listening ears that are always up to give me the “tough love” I need. And I DO appreciate it.
 
Here’s the thing many others do not realize though.
 
Depression and the feelings similar are not a switch. One can’t just “look at blessings” and feel better about themselves. It’s not logical and makes EVERYTHING seem darker than it is.
 
Every obstacle starts seeming like a mountain. Every person who one cares for, starts feeling like the enemy. I know though, I’m not “suffering from depression” in the REAL sense. I’m just heavy in my heart.
 
A desire to run away constantly overcomes me and I have to keep pepping myself up with all the above in small doses. And yet, these days all I want is space from everyone.
 
What does someone do for such a friend then? Specially when you cannot physically be there with someone.
 
💖Pray for them for strength or send good vibes.
💖Let them know you are there (NOT IF you need them but that you are there).
💖Listen with understanding, NOT just to respond.
💖Make time to call them every day, just to say hi.
💖Let them know they are loved.
 
And above all empathize that everyone is under different weights of suffering. What may seem “trivial” to you, might feel like a mountain of a weight on their being to another. The difference between drama and depression is drama is LOUD, depression is QUIET. Evident in subtle things.
 
Stand by those you care for. Not only IF you have time, but all the time. Keep nudging them step by step till one day , the sun starts shining again.
 
Let’s help each other walk the tight rope of life with grace.
 
AND if your heart is as heavy as mine, give yourself time to wallow and then get to healing. Keep chipping at that heaviness with small joys. You have gotten through worse! Hugs.
 
 
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Teaching Kids When to Reach Out and When to Listen

For those who do not know why Indians around the world are feeling heart break today. THIS is Sushant Singh Rajput.

An actor that went from acting on TV to films. Amazing powerhouse of talent.

Gone too soon! This goes to show that depression doesn’t fall out on those CLEARLY suffering …. It can be a parasite on those “apparently” successful as well.

To most, a death that makes sense is easier to digest than one that they cannot comprehend. This is one of them!

Remember, if those close to you seem strong or OK, doesn’t mean that they are. Even at the slightest sense, ASK. TEXT. REACH OUT . Don’t pay condolences for a day, after . Let people know you care, while they are with you.

Don’t be alone with your pain. Say something. Anything. I’m here. There’s always someone WILLING to be with you.

My heart is broken thinking of this talented man no more. Someone who was so well spoken, rising through life to a place few can reach. Alone in an apartment, with no one to walk him off the ledge of forever never. Imagining those who cared for him getting the news of his death.

My hands feel like lead as I as write this but write I must. I know what it feels like to be alone in a room wondering if it’s all worth it. Feeling so desperate, when all feels hopeless. Which is why my focus in raising my kids is NEVER going to be the “empty drive for success or the rat race of life”.

Indians everywhere have SUCH a huge stigma where mental health conversations are concerned. Many people around me, who clearly have issues will never see a therapist or admit to their situation or just pick up the phone and say,” I’m feeling … “

That is why In the world of fake “How are yous?”, I always give a REAL answer. So people see ME as the REAL me, and I wish all I know do the same.

It is heart breaking.

In those darkest moments where light even is a vacuum, we need our children to know they can come to us with ANYTHING.

Let the pressure of success, excellence, growth, talent be taken off! Focus more on the love you have for them and the joy you feel at their mere existence. Why do we have this drive to constantly push ourselves, beyond our capacity or expect MORE and MORE all the time? To follow that butterfly of success or happiness that is always moving?

So what if you fail? So what if you fight with a loved one? So what if today things seem all wrong? So what if you aren’t the BEST of the best? There’s always hope. There’s always another day.

KNOW YOUR WORTH!


I hope every son and daughter around the world knows that above all, their parent wants them to just BE a part of their lives. Every sibling knows that they are cared about. Every friend knows that they are wanted.

Oh gosh! There is so much wrong with our society. I hope children everywhere know that contentment comes from within and if they are not feeling happy, or are feeling desperate, they can always ask for them. Specially from their parents.

Ways in which we can empower them early –

  • Journal your feelings.
  • Don’t be alone when you are low.
  • Know who to go to for what issues.
  • Be honest in your communications.
  • Asking for help is not a weakness.
  • Listen with heart, not only ears.
  • Stay connected to friends and family always.
  • Be truthful with family about personal struggles.
  • Never be scared to go to parents with ANY issue.
  • Have a hobby you can turn to to feed your soul.
  • Don’t let anyone define your self worth
  • Know early that popularity, wealth, success all mean nothing without self contentment.
  • Stand talk in front of peer pressure

May we raise them with the strength of asking for help. To die so young! With so much within. What a loss for the world!

Prayers for his soul and for those who cared for him. My tears are not just for him but everyone who left too early, not having someone close to tell them, “You are not alone. I’m here.”

Please take time out to check on friends and family and LISTEN to them when they talk.

Let’s a raise a generation of children strong enough to INSIST for help and kind enough to LISTEN carefully when needed.

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Books & Conversation Starters for Kids About Anti-Racism

Of course, children see color!

They GROW to let it create differences and self-esteem issues, only by the conversations we NEGLECT to have and the subtle prejudices they see portrayed around them.

The conversation with our children about race and privilege must be one that is on going. Today, I want to take a moment to talk about how we can use books to help start this essential conversation.

The conversation can start as early as 4 but there is no end date to this. I have spoken in depth about the need of parents, brown and others to speak up and teach kids about race. The following ways are most effective.

* Read historical events and understand them with your child.
* Talk openly about life choices, worth of each person, the privilege you have.
* Acknowledge all people around you.
* Amplify voices of those that are talking about these things. Share this.
* Celebrate different cultures.
* Read books about skin color, different cultures, religions, own voices, brown parents, raising multicultural children. MAKE the EFFORT to DIVERSIFY your library.
* Speak UP! Do the right thing when needed.

The Responsibility Brown Parents Have Towards Their Children

After I wrote the above article, I had few parents respond asking for a list of books  and  conversation starters. Here are the books (Ages 4-10) , first.

How Our Skin Sparkles – Aditi W. Singh

Aarav asks his mom why do I look different from the kids in my class. His mom helps him build confidence through science and culture. This body positivity and diversity book has been #1 in books against racism and prejudice. Told from a brown child’s POV, it is a great conversation starter about equality and empowerment. For self and others around you. I have included a number of conversation starters for parents in the book itself, specific to the topic at hand.

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Something Happened in Our Town – Marianne Celano

Something Happened in Our Town follows two families — one White, one Black — as they discuss a police shooting of a Black man in their community. The story aims to answer children’s questions about such traumatic events, and to help children identify and counter racial injustice in their own lives. Includes an extensive Note to Parents and Caregivers with guidelines for discussing race and racism with children, child-friendly definitions, and sample dialogues.

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Where Am I From –  Elisavet Arkolaki

Children from seven countries each have a turn to answer in their own way. Each answer is correct, and yet still not the whole picture. When the youngest takes his turn, he shares a different view, one that has nothing to do with borders on a map. Children love to see the diversity of the world that is beautifully portrayed using real-life street art that is unique to this book.

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Gabe Faces Ignorance – L.I.Forsette

When Gabe unintentionally hurts his friend Sofia, he has no idea what he did wrong. It turns out he doesn’t know everything about her, and that his actions have unforeseen consequences. Sofia cleverly directs a conversation they have with her dad to lead Gabe toward a new understanding of their relationship and of his role in promoting bias.

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Chrissy Doesn’t Like Her Hair – Christine Williams

Chrissy doesn’t like her tightly coiled hair. She always compares her hair to her mother, sister, teacher, and classmates. Chrissy feels frustrated and becomes upset. It is not until she meets Ms. Wiggins, who shifts Chrissy’s mindset about her hair, and reminds her that she is beautiful and unique, just the way she was created!

CLICK TO BUY

I’m a Pretty Black Girl – Betty K. Bynum

Mia tells of friends of all shades of brown and different hair textures who she celebrates as other pretty little black girls who share “love” and “good manners” with each other — and who are fun and polite, and are destined for a future filled with accomplishments of “brilliance”!!!

Whoever You Are – Mem Fox

Every day all over the world, children are laughing and crying, playing and learning, eating and sleeping. They may not look the same. They may not speak the same language. Their lives may be quite different. But inside, they are all alike. Stirring words and bold paintings weave their way around our earth, across cultures and generations. At a time when, unfortunately, the lessons of tolerance still need to be learned, Whoever You Are urges us to accept our differences, to recognize our similarities, and-most importantly-to rejoice in both.

I Promise – Lebron James

Just a kid from Akron, Ohio, who is dedicated to uplifting youth everywhere, LeBron James knows the key to a better future is to excel in school, do your best, and keep your family close. I Promise is a lively and inspiring picture book that reminds us that tomorrow’s success starts with the promises we make to ourselves and our community today.

I Belong – Laurie Wright

After reading this book your young child will realize that people are more alike than different and that everyone belongs, no matter where they are or what differences they might have. Read it to them now, when they are mini, so they will grow up knowing this mantra to be true: THEY BELONG!

Big Umbrella – Amy June Bates

By the door there is an umbrella. It is big. It is so big that when it starts to rain there is room for everyone underneath. It doesn’t matter if you are tall. Or plaid. Or hairy. It doesn’t matter how many legs you have.

Don’t worry that there won’t be enough room under the umbrella. Because there will always be room.

Meet Yasmin – Saadia Faruqi

Meet Yasmin! Yasmin is a spirited second-grader who’s always on the lookout for those “aha” moments to help her solve life’s little problems. Taking inspiration from her surroundings and her big imagination, she boldly faces any situation, assuming her imagination doesn’t get too big, of course! A creative thinker and curious explorer, Yasmin and her multi-generational Pakistani American family will delight and inspire readers.

Where Do I Belong – Niyati Desai

Neha’s character is a part of many American households. It is the story of a perceptive and sensitive young child caught between two or more cultures, and of parents trying to help her craft an identity that is whole and complete. This book touches on issues not typically addressed in picture books, and fills an important void in children’s literature for this group of children who are particularly vulnerable to feeling marginalized and different.

Conversations You Can Derive From Above Books

  • What do you think was unique about the child telling the story?
  • Did you learn anything new from the book?
  • Would you agree with what this book is trying to say?
  • Did you see anything interesting about this culture?
  • How can you relate better to kids from you … (Class/group etc) after this?
  • Do you know how our culture is different that most?
  • Have you ever thought about how we are luckier than most in our lives?
  • What is skin color?
  • Have you ever thought about how our skin color affects us?
  • Should everyone be treated equal? How do we do that?
  • Do you understand that things people say and how we behave affects others?
  • In what ways can we help those around us feel better about themselves?

Older Kids

  • Let’s talk about the history of racism (older kids)
  • Have you heard about … (Holocaust, Slavery, Pre Independence India)
  • In your class has anyone ever passed any hurtful comments?
  • Did you hear about the news from friends?
  • Do you know what is happening in the … (current event)
  • How do you think this affects us?
  • Subtle prejudices your own family and friends have expressed.
  • How to respond to racist comments.

IMO, when a situation happens in the news that you can introduce to your child in simple words (age 8 and above), its a great opportunity to drive home the conversation of race, privilege and how many different ways we can help our fellow beings.

20 Ways to Inspire Kids by Showing Up as an Everyday Activist

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The Responsibility Brown Parents Have Towards Their Children

We as a community do not talk to our children about equality and racism, enough! The hard stuff needs to be discussed, even if it is uncomfortable. As brown parents, we have a responsibility towards our children.

A man is murdered ruthlessly on the road.
Another is fake complained upon …
And yet other people are arguing about their RIGHT to BEING FREE when the world is quite literally dying around them.

THIS is not the AMERICA or WORLD I want my children to grow up in! If you are not affected by this, then I’m sorry to say you are PART of the problem.

Do you not see the depth of privilege WE are surrounded by?

You know, growing up I was surrounded by religion-ism (thinking one religion is better than another), discrimination by skin color (because of course fair means beautiful), money-ism (because money means status and showing off your money is VITAL).

And I was blind to it all!

Why? Because of my parents. For they NEVER talked about it. And now when I think about it, they must have thought “Eh! This is just the world we live in.”

The pros of it. I NEVER walked into a room I didn’t automatically think I was equal to everyone. The con, with time, I assumed people KNEW BETTER.

They DON’T!

As I grew up, I saw brown people quite naturally always being subservient to either race or money or someone being fairer.

As a parent, I tell my kids, you should not say bad words. You should not play guns with friends (shaping your hand like one). You should not do this and that.

When my son says, “his friends do it.” I say, “Well, it is different for them. We cannot do the same. “

THIS freedom that THEY have and WE do not.Why? Because people have gone around shooting kids/people willy nilly and now WE need to be careful.

WHEN it comes to girls being molested, we DO NOT TALK to our boys. WE tell our girls to be careful, wear clothes appropriately, do this and that.

AND the ENLIGHTENED ones among us, say, “Hey! The problem is BOYS. Talk to the boys.”

The point is BOTH need to be talked to. But not as you may think.

Girls needs to be told about their RIGHT to stand up for themselves and given the freedom to be who they are and BOYS need to be TAUGHT to respect them.

In the same way, we need teaching our COLORED children about their RIGHT to EQUALITY and children who are NOT simply about the RESPECT they need to show every single day.

EQUALITY SHOULD NOT BE SOMETHING WE DO NOT ALLOW ANY CHILD TO FEEL.

Not realizing how much you are discriminated against, in this country – you continue to think – “Brown is the lesser black”, not realizing you are a person of color and no matter how hard you try; you and your children will always have to try harder.

You also use your own racism selectively. Crying wolf when you are being discriminated against but being quiet when you see a fellow black being discriminated against.

We need not have ANY children walking around feeling less than for whatever reason. Be it skin color, money, race or religion.

As brown parents, we feel the responsibility. I have always talked to my kids. I wrote two books about raising them EQUAL. I SPEAK UP!

HAVE you made the choice to RAISE your children AWARE? OR are you still hiding under the ROCK of “This does not affect me?”

Trust me, all your discrimination, even the slightest seeps through to your child.

Things you can do ?

* Read historical events and understand them with your child.
* Talk openly about life choices, worth of each person, the privilege you have.
* Acknowledge all people around you.
* Amplify voices of those that are talking about these things. Share this.
* Read books about skin color, different cultures, religions, own voices, brown parents, raising multicultural children. MAKE the EFFORT to DIVERSIFY your library.
* Speak UP! Do the right thing when needed.


I have never thought about our leadership. Today, for the first time I have found myself wondering am I safe in a world that is being protected and governed by people, none of whom understand the community.

Let’s raise kids who aspire to govern and protect. Children who while rooted in their identity are strong in will and empathetic to all.

Let’s just DO BETTER in understanding RACE and the conversation around it. The world cannot STAY like this.

For not only am I looking at you, but your child AND the CHILDREN AROUND YOU are looking at you as well.

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When You Feel Like You Are Failing Your Family

Feeling like a failure. A mom of two. The feeling creeps up on me, every so often …

Every time I forget a class, zoom meeting or play date .
Those times when I lose my patience.
When I don’t listen enough or am distracted.
Those moments when other moms or their kids are KILLING it at something we don’t seem to be…
When they yell at me for not letting them (xyz) … or we argue …

It sneaks up, when someone questions my judgement. When someone passes a remark of “them not having those problems … ” or “I could never do what you do … ”

Like a jack in the box!

In the dead of night or early morning hours or at a party or while in a meeting …

All those times, I wonder if I could do better, maybe I need to do things differently.

If I’m lucky, I can voice it out and have those thoughts banished by someone who cares.

Other times, my feet keep going into the quicksand of self doubt. The only way out is holding onto the FACT that I KNOW no one can love my kids the way I do. I do my best, every single day, with the long list of to dos on my schedule in the amount of hours I have.

And out of the fog comes a memory. I remember the time, when I DID NOT HAVE kids…. and my mom said. “I didn’t do anything with my life. I failed… ” and I responded with, “We are amazing, because you are amazing. You did all you could to raise us, with the best decisions you could make at the time. … And that’s all that matters. ”

I KNOW that there are moms who wonder the same, in the dead of the night or those quiet mornings.

To all children reading this, no matter the age, I request you. Do let your mom know she loved you the best she could. You love her and value her and can’t imagine a life without her… Trust me, that’s ALL a mother needs to know.

Since there are NO bonuses, raises or appraisals for the never ending job of motherhood, your WORDS are all she has to measure her worth.

And if you are a mom who has this feeling creep up every so often, remember, there are many like me exactly where you are. And it’s up to us to dig deep within and get out of this hole coz it is not a happy place to live in but most importantly, it is NOT what we deserve, at all!

Know, with every breathe you take, that with all your do, how much ever, YOU are amazing!

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Book Collection to Build Empathy for World & Self

The world is changing constantly. Our children need to know the kindness they need to show, for others and even themselves. The best way to lead our kids towards thinking beyond themselves is through stories of kindness, self care, compassion and introducing them to new worlds. The below books make the perfect collection to show your child that the world is bigger and kinder with them being kind and gentle.
You can download all the whole ebook set here  –

USA – Download Now

UK – Download Now

Canada – Download Now

 

Don’t forget to grab the FREE activity book that the authors provided for all kiddos to get some extra creative time, after reading too.

OR You can get ALL These Books and 1000s MORE if you download Kindle UnLimited. Now FREE for 2 Months. –

Check out the description of each book below –

What Kind of World Would It Be?
This book shows how simple, daily social interactions such as a kind word, helping hand, or selfless act can have a huge impact on others, and can fill the world with kindness. Share the message of kindness with the children in your life by asking, “If everyone acted just like me, what kind of world would it be?”
How Our Skin Sparkles
We all may look different, have different choices but we are all the same inside. This is a book against racism and prejudice. It helps parents talk to kids about acceptance, of self and others. It is more important now than ever to help our kids build a growth mindset that is global in nature.

Little Cat Needs Space

Often those close to us need space, for growth and understanding. Little Cat loves quiet and calm space. Dog doesn’t. When Dog wants to spend more time in Little Cat’s space, Little Cat gets frazzled and then she gets clever. Little Cat makes plan after plan to get back the space she wants… until she finds the space she NEEDS.

 

A Spark of Kindness: A Children’s Book About Showing Kindness

Kindness is the most powerful lesson you can teach your children. By reading this story about little Joey, your child will learn the meaning of kindness, how to achieve it, and how to spread it to other children. Joey will demonstrate examples of kindness by interacting with his mom, sister, and his classmates. This story will teach your child that just a spark of kindness is enough to make someone happy. Friendly and fun, this book is instructive and carries one of the most important lessons, “If you are kind, kindness will come back to you.”
Fight the Germs
Comfort your child and carefully answer all of their questions by using the easy-to-follow story in this book. Let them know what is going on in the world, keeping them safe without leaving them scared. This story is designed to promote positivity, knowledge, and hope for your young ones. Get it now to have an healthy conversation with your children.
While the Lockdown has been a confusing and uncertain time for us as adults, one can only imagine what it must be like for the children who cannot quite grasp the severity of the situation.
Aurora’s Orchid
Aurora, a beloved mom to four young children, is determined to create memories with them in her childhood home in Rincon, Puerto Rico. One year, she plants an orchid with her children and spends the summer teaching them to tend to it in the hopes that it would grow into the beautiful plant she knew it could. As the days, weeks, months, and even years pass, Aurora teaches her children patience as they skeptically wait for the flowers to bloom. This heartwarming tale–based on a true story–shows how the thoughtful guidance of a loving mother could teach patience while leaving a lasting and beautiful impact on those around her.
Super Science Squad- The Lost Pixie
Working together is the foundation of personal growth. Join the Super Science Squad on their newest adventure to Pixieville. Together, they will use science to help find a lost pixiie. The best part, you can do these fun experiments at home! What better way to learn about science?
Roo The Little Red Tuk Tuk
FINALIST at the WISHING SHELF BOOK AWARDS 2019 This is a collection of very short stories so you can read a page-a-day with very young kids There are hundreds of books about cars, trains, trucks, and various construction vehicles in the market. Have you ever heard of a tuk tuk? Whether you wish to introduce cultural diversity to your kids, encourage them to travel or see exotic places through a book, this will encourage your children to explore the world with a new friend… Roo is a little Tuk Tuk. Join Roo as he recalls the many ups and downs of his life on the roads of Colombo (the commercial capital of Sri Lanka). From road races, to Polo tournaments, to animal rescues, this little vehicle has lived life to its fullest. Experience the joys and perils of Tuk Tuks on the streets, and learn many life lessons along the way with this courageous Tuk Tuk who is always ready to lend a helping hand and spread some cheer. You are never too little to make a difference…
Kynnedi’s World
Kynnedi lives an exciting life for such a little girl. She enjoys exploring the world around her, learning new things, and making memories she’ll never forget! You’ll love finding out about her family names, meet her dog Tyson and what she likes to do on the weekends while also giving your little one a chance to share their world too! Follow her adventures and listen to her insights as she gives you the world through her eyes, introduces you to the key players in her life, and invites readers to share their own experiences in this fun, interactive book.
CRACKODILE
Being kind to ourselves is so important. A little girl refuses to lather lotion onto her dry skin despite her parents’ insistence. As her dry skin gets worse, her imagination takes her on a transformation. What will she do?
I’m A Little Big Brother
I’m A Little Big Brother is a story of how a little brother learns about his brother’s Autism. He learns that he can be a big brother even though he is the youngest.
It’s Bedtime Lil Marco
Lil’ Marco loves to play and could play from sunup to sundown except every evening, without fail. Except playing does not stop his eyes from getting heavy. They get heavier while playing during and after his bath. It is very important to know when to listen to our body and let it rest.
Mom and Sage embark on an amazing adventure to Fizzle Valley to get more flakes, but the mischievous pixies will do everything in their power to stop them. We love our moms but do we realize how much fun we have with them. This is a great book that helps transition from picture books to chapter books.

MORE BOOK LISTS HERE

PIN this post for LATER !!!

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8 Ways for Kids to Safely Connect Online with Friends

Yes, we are all trying very hard to make sure our kids get their home schooling done. But we all know these are hard times for kids and they are confused and scared and miss their friends. Below are some ways to connect with friends. Talk to their school or family friends and arrange them to connect safely with friends. As with all internet related tools, we highly recommend being with listening/viewing distance so you know what your kids are up to.

Connect via Video

House Party

https://houseparty.com/

It connects to your contacts and allows you to invite friends. It is basically a video conference call. I think you can see up to 8 people at a time. I have had a couple cocktail/game parties and it was super fun! I felt SO much better after connecting with friends and having some laughs.

Messenger Kids

Linked via the parents’ account, this is a safe option for kids to stay connected with their friends. They can video call each other and there are little games they can play or they can apply filters to their faces etc.

Marco Polo

https://www.marcopolo.me/

Unlike social media, there is no wasted time, no social comparisons and no likes! Connect with the most important people in your life, not the entire world.

Watch Movies Together

Netflix Party

https://www.netflixparty.com/

Scener

https://scener.com/

Online Drawing Games

Below are fun online multiplayer drawing games where you draw and guess words. One player is selected as the artist, he is offered three words to choose from and his task is to draw the selected word. Other players try to guess what the artist is drawing.

Pictionary Online

https://skribbl.io/

Drawasaurous

https://www.drawasaurus.org/

Drawsize

https://www.drawize.com/


Bingo Via Video Calling

We played bingo the other night on zoom with friends. It was hilarious and involved the whole family. One of the kids wrote numbers down on paper and put them in a bowl. We all had a handmade 9 square grid and wrote our numbers in.

Board Game Arena

Join the largest boardgame table in the world. No download necessary – play directly from your web browser. With your friends and thousands of players from the whole world. Free!

https://en.boardgamearena.com/join

Virtual Dinner Party

Everyone prepares the same meal (trying something new would be amazing!) and go online with your friends and have a fun time eating together.

Uno

https://www.letsplayuno.com/

Other Games We Can Play with Friends Via Video

2 truths one lie
Charades
20 questions

 

 

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5 Web Series in Hindi for Tweens

Tween is a unique age. You are older but want to learn a lot about life and it’s many facets. The below shows are great for kids learning to speak hindi but want to be entertained so they can stay engaged. With captions, these make a great way to learn Hindi as well, for those reluctant or still struggling to learn to speak conversational Hindi.

Yeh Meri Family – Netflix

Yeh Meri Family is an Indian comedy drama web series series written by Saurabh Khanna and directed by Sameer Saxena for The Viral Fever. The series follows the life of a 12-year-old Harshu Gupta, played by Vishesh Bansal, in Jaipur, Rajasthan in the late 1990s.

Lakhon Mein Ek – Amazon Prime

Aakash just finished high school and is planning to study commerce with his friends in Raipur. His father has different plans for him. He sends Aakash to Genius Infinity, an IIT Coaching institute far away from Raipur. Aakash reaches there to discover it’s a whole different world and he is a complete misfit. People here are far ahead of him in studies. There is no room for fun. Slowly, a friendship forms between him and his roommates Bakri and Chudail. So does a rivalry, between him and Chandrakanth, the topper of the institute. Aakash gradually gets into the groove of the grind and begins to fit in.

Panchayat – Amazon Prime

 

Abhishek Tripathi (Jitendra Kumar) is a freshly graduated young man from Delhi. Unable to find a good job in the city, he is compelled to accept the only offer he has in hand, an unattractive government posting in a small village in Uttar Pradesh. Panchayat is a comedy drama about an individual born and raised in the city, who must deal with the ordeals of life in rural India.

Simple, light hearted story telling makes for a great show with life lessons.

Be warned – One episode (chair one) has the word ” as**@#$#@ ” in it. But it is used to teach an important lesson. So, one can ignore that.


 

Mahabharat – Netflix

 

Two young brothers encounter a singing bird who treats them to a musical reinterpretation of one of India’s most epic ancient tales. Bollywood stars Ajay Devgn and Sunny Deol join an all-star voice cast in this animated reimagining of an Indian classic.

 

 

Operation MBBS – YouTube

 

Operation MBBS. Operation MBBS chronicles the lives of three first year students – Huma, Sakshi and Nishant in one of the best MBBS colleges in the country. Follow their journey as they navigate through friendships, hardships and medical student life.

 

Be warned – The first episode has ONE inappropriate dialogue about ( having s*x during that time of the month) and that’s it. One can forward that really quicky. Few other dialogues have suggested bad words. Not many.

 

Akbar Birbal

Birbal (IPA: [biːrbəl]; born Mahesh Das; 1528–1586), or Raja Birbal, was a Hindu advisor and main commander (mukhya senapati) of army in the court of the Mughal emperor, Akbar. He is mostly known in the Indian subcontinent for the Folk Tales which focus on his wit.

Tweens find this serial’s many lessons and riddles very interesting.

 

Itihaas Ki Thali Se

An amazingly interesting show Itihaas Ki Thali Se on Netflix that teaches about Indian foods historically. It is a great way to teach kids about how the world has collaborated towards every single Indian food with many interesting stories.

Mouthwatering food + History + Fun animation. Win Win ! A definite must watch with your entire family !!

 

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A Little Extra Screen Time During Lockdown is Okay

In our parents group, we had a HONEST CONVERSATION about how much the kids are consuming extra screen time and it was very heartening to see the responses.

I want to reach out today to everyone struggling and worrying about the same and say that it is okay.

Every thing you are doing in these uncharted waters to make things work is OKAY.

There is no need to feel sad or worry about how much extra screen time you are allowing your child. Including , classes, work outs, talking to friends etc, they are bound to get more than the usual amount of dose.

My own kids do NOT watch TV / have gadget time during week days on normal school days. But this time is different for all and everyone has different ways to cope. Even your children. Allow yourself and them the space to be GUILT FREE !

While I agree there is a severe negative impact to excessive gadget use, I do feel, self moderation and personal independence go hand in hand in teaching kids to balance technology themselves. Instead of keeping kids AWAY from technology, I think it’s more important to teach them how to BALANCE and use it as a tool towards their own success. Because the future is certainly leaning towards that…

To help your kids to SELF MODERATE and be INDEPENDENT at play during these times, it’s important to create a foundation of the same early. I have tips for that in my book. – https://amzn.to/3bMyMpJ Which is how I see many a times, my kids switch off the gadget in use by themselves and go play or find something else to do.

But first Remember, wen we talk about being judgement free, it starts with us !

In the spirit of transparency, my own kids are at 2-4 hours every day, including online classes, talking to friends, grandparents, games, school work, work outs etc

Hugs to ALL !!!

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Making Your Child’s Birthday Special During Lock down

My daughter’s birthday is coming up soon. I dread to think how we are going to get through the day. Not because we had a lavish birthday planned but because it makes all this real for my kid. Which is why I am going to try to make this birthday more about memories than being inside, corona or missing friends.

My daughter loves her birthday just like her mama. We are people people. Having our friends around us makes days extra special. And I know this time now has been hard, not just because we have been home for almost 3 weeks now, but because they miss friends.

Being a person who likes to plan ahead, I have observed what people are doing online and some other ways that I can think up to make the day grand!

Remember, one of the most important things is asking for help from friends, even strangers.

An Online Birthday Event

I had done this for her 1st birthday, where I had invited my friends from all around the world and walked them through all her firsts. I think this time I will do the reverse, where I will have all my friends around the world, leave video messages in the online event and go live at a certain time to celebrate with them.

Hire a Character/Princess

There are online services that are reading/talking/celebrating with your child. If interested, leave a comment below and I will find a service that can help you.

Dance Videos

I recently got into Tik Tok and the app makes it super easy to put together short dance videos. This would be a great way to celebrate.

Books for Helping Children Build a Growth Mindset

Wish List Sent to Friends

She doesn’t want for much, but she has certain likes. I think this year, I may put to my friends a list of books that she would love to have. We have lot of book lists on this site if you don’t have an idea of what books to ask for. I would make sure the delivery was planned 3 days before her birthday so that the books have the time outside before they need to be brought in.


Drive By Birthday

Ask friends to drive by our home at a given window of time. Have the kids out at that time and while maintaining social distancing, throwing their birthday wishes or confetti out of their cars to make the day special.

Kids LOVE Getting Mail

So, whoever cannot make it in the drive by birthday, I would love to ask to drop her a birthday card. I have seen online, that people are asking in their local / favorite mom groups for wishes for their kids. People are sending cards, video messages and more straight to the mom’s inbox to share with the kiddo. A lot of fun!

Giving Back

I always recommend giving back to those in need. This year, I think we would brain storm for a way that enables us to donate items, our toys, money or time to a charity of her choice.

Getting Crafty

Not creative…not a problem. Go online and find ideas to make a special but elaborate birthday craft. This is specially wonderful for kids who enjoy getting creative with paints or seeing something fun being made by their hands. Our Pinterest has a tonnes of crafts you can do that same.


Baking  in the Kitchen

Make your own cake this year. Or cupcakes or brownies or whatever you like to get cooking. Get creative, not just with your meal but with your dessert. Let the birthday kid make it on their own.

Outdoor Fun

If it’s warm where you are, borrow / buy a second hand bouncy house or splash pad or play area for the special day. Make sure to sanitize it completely. And remember, this is not a community event but just for your kiddo.

Take a Virtual Tour

There are many virtual ways to visit a new place these days. Have your kids get into a blanket and take a virtual tour of a museum or park.

Movie Night Marathon

Pick your kids favorite movies/shows, get those snacks together and get cozy enjoying the movie with your favorite characters or stories.

Video Calls with Family & Friends

My kids love their friends and this time was made easy only after I got in touch with all their friends onto a platform where they could connect with each other. Just knowing their friends are  a click away really helps kids feel a little better. Make sure to get your kids on the calls with those they care about.

Drive to an Open Place They Love

I may not do this but I have seen people drive to a near by lake or open park and just be in the open air or go fishing. The change of pace and place does wonders for a child’s day. Don’t forget to maintain social distancing.

Online Games with Friends

There are fun games like this https://www.drawasaurus.org/, you can play with your friends , far and near (well, physically) . It should make for a lot of laughs. This would be great for kids 7 and above though, who can read and type.

Scavenger Hunt Around the House

Have the birthday kid start from a spot and go to the next place depending on the clue they get. A lot of fun usually, specially so now. You could also just play hot and cold with their gifts or hide small Easter egg like things in the back yard and give them a special prize for finding all.

Birthday balloons When They Wake Up

You can do the classic birthday balloons around their room the night before or have them fall down when they open the door. Who doesn’t love balloons ?

There is no time like now than letting go for some of your usual ways and stepping it up personally. Go overboard with the decorations around the house. Plan in advance and make the birthday last all week long. The little kiddos deserve it, specially for being such troopers.

And remember, if this year you don’t feel like doing ANYTHING but just lounge around in pajamas, that’s okay too!

Any more ideas ?? Feel free to share them below. 

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Staying Positive & Organized Through the School Closure

It is so important to understand why a daily schedule will most probably not work during the Corona school closure and social isolation. And what we can do about having an optimistic attitude!

I grew up in a household where we had a text book to read. In the current school closure scenario, I am in a school system where I find myself constantly trying to keep up and now it is even more overwhelming. Sometimes I am stuck not knowing what I should do to ensure my child doesn’t experience a slide in education.

That I think is the most worrying thing about the whole school closure situation.

At the start of the School Closure…

Day 1 – “Gosh, I’m so unprepared. Look at all the moms who are so on the point with schedules and kids activities. …. I need to make a schedule.”

( I had spent four days getting prepared for the upcoming two week break, rearranging things, cleaning, meal planning, etc. On the first day,  I got the kids to do some of the school work and things went not too bad. By this day, we have been a total of 7 days in isolation. “

Day 2 – “The schedule is going very well. ” But as the day progresses, I can see the kids and myself feeling the build up. They spend the evening in the back yard. I realize I CANNOT keep this up every single day. I will BURN OUT! Pus, I need to plan things out for myself.

Day 3- “Let’s take a break today and just read, play board games, take a walk. ” (Kids very happy!) By evening the school announces it’s going to be a month of school closure.

The overwhelm gets to me and I feel very low. My heart seems constricted. The unknown really gets to me. The Type A personality in me hates not knowing when this whole thing will end. Plus, I have realized that if we need to keep things up, we need to have a SUSTAINABLE plan.

So, here’s my take away on having a plan of action that helps moms get through this totally unprecedented scenario.

Have a Broad Framework

Understanding why a schedule will not work in this school closure situation.

I’m a scheduler. I love making lists. My days usually are planned out the night before and the morning of. And I get immense pleasure in keeping to my scheduler and ticking things off.

We wake up the same time every day, follow the same course and go to bed the same time, every night. The “framework ” of our days is the same. There is change, in the form of different classes and play time at school and friends where they meet.

But kids are small and we want to keep the overwhelm away from them. If every single day is the same, they are going to feel tied up, and frustrated eventually. Everyone needs constant change.

So, this is what I came up with AFTER I threw away the schedule, which I will use sporadically.

For the week, have a framework, than a schedule. A sort of, kind of, schedule that you ASPIRE to. To that end, we have two days school work (one day on gadgets, one day worksheets) and then one day off and then two days back on. That ways kids have enough variety. The days they have device time for education, they do not for play and vice versa.

So, in essence, kids end up getting 3 days off than just 2. And our day goes kind of –

Brush/Breakfast
Classwork (school suggested) … 2 hours
Break
Classwork … 1 hour
Lunch
Reading
Art/Dance/Creative thinking/Boardgames
Free play/Walk outside
Dinner
Movie/TV
Bath/Brush/Pray/Snuggle
Bed

Involve Kids in Decision Making

Speaking of variety, give kids options to choose from. As I have mentioned in my book multiple times, we want to encourage our children to become problem solvers and good decision makers. How will they do so, if we do not give them the room to make the decisions.

The options can range from what topic would you like to study to book to read or thing to do or board game to play. Kids need options to choose from.

Get Creative in Educating

Go through their educational material and make up games or out of the box ways to get the concept stronger. Quiz them while cooking. Play board games that help in the same. We want them to learn, not be drilled.

Use the many resources online available to parents wisely. Don’t get overpowered to dabble in everything. Take time and see what interests your child the most and use those most effectively.

Audio books are your friends too.

Start the Day with Self Care

It’s very easy to put others before you. Every single mother does that. Specially on days that you think are daunting. But make sure you do your thing every single morning.

Have your water
Go for the walk
Listen to a podcast
Meditate

Don’t Stay Socially Isolated

Man is a social animal. We need to be with our friends. Talk about our day. Social distancing does not have to mean being on an island. Join a parents group of like minded individuals to get positive messages of empowerment and personal growth.

Remember, this applies to your kids too. Connect with your kids’ friends and classmates and make sure they get some face time in as well. Don’t let them become isolated.

Everything Cannot Be a Priority

As a person who likes to do everything and do it well, it’s hard for me to let go. I need to know how my life is going, my tasks in a queue, my goals achieved.

I am supposed to have a podcast up. Two new books in the process. I have like 10 articles in queue, mapped out. One book to be edited. Two clients with books coming out. And since I’m an mompreneur, it’s All me. I’m the end all of all decisions and tasks to be done. Luckily I have an amazing group of women who help me when and how they can, but it’s still not enough since many of the tasks are hands on for me.

The house needs to be cleaned (I can’t function), the family fed, exercise needs to be added to the routine and I need to ensure all the above gets done.

But guess what?

More than half of that is NOT going to get done immediately. Doesn’t mean I’m giving up. It just means, I’m being realistic and understanding that I am one person, and even with my husband’s support, there is only so much we can do with him having a full time job and the many things around the house that need fixing. Balance home and family with the knack that is needed.

Don’t take breaks only when your body forces you to.

Delegate

Which brings me to making sure your kids are helping around the house. Yes, it is hard to do and be consistent but it is very important for their overall development and your own sanity. Have a family meeting and decide what each child can and will be doing. Take turns, pick your own thing to do, get incentivized. But make sure you delegate jobs around the house.

My Kids Do Not Get Paid for Doing “Chores”

It’s Okay to Get Overwhelmed

I get this feeling constantly. The one where I feel nothing is in my control. That’s what I felt last night when I learned of the extension of the school closure. This is my new reality. I took the evening off.  Relaxed with my favorite book. Looked at my task planner and thoughtfully realized, the scheduler cannot work for us.

Take time to process. Allow yourself to let go of things that you can. You are allowed to take time off to re-calibrate.

Don’t Compare

The mom that is killing it on her schedule, being amazing at everything is not sharing the tears and the sadness. Shes’ sharing coz it’s her outlet and connection to the world. It helps her get through her day. It’s her journey. Don’t compare yourself and your children to theirs. What works for them will not, cannot work for you.

It’s not a one size fits all world!

Stay Motivated

I saw this amazing talk where the speaker said, “Action comes before motivation.” If you are looking to get the “feeling” before getting inspired, you will be waiting a long time. Find out what goal you need to be achieving and start working towards it. One step at a time. You will slowly inch towards what needs doing.

Change Things Up

As I mentioned, humans need constant change. Move furniture around, make things pretty, set up to give yourself a change. Even if a slight redecoration occurs or a furniture is placed differently, it makes a difference to your outlook. Re organize a closet, wear a nice dress at home, put on make up, put on some music that you wouldn’t otherwise listen to. Send your friends a care package just to spice things up.


Shut Down Negativity ASAP

It is very easy to fall into negative spirals and fall into traps of panic. With people sharing forwards, without fact checking and breeding hatred, it is most important to make sure we ourselves keep negativity at bay and try to keep an optimistic attitude.

All, in all this is a mindset game. Remember, this is the first time such a situation is happening. Our children are watching us and seeing our reaction. It is teaching them how to behave in any untoward and unique situation.

We want them to develop an attitude of education, awareness, and hopeful action.

Understanding why a schedule will not work during the Corona Self Isolation

Keeping a Positive Mindset and Staying Organized for Working Moms During School Shutdowns